#will I ever stop being mad at people who keep insisting he's gay?

[awesomechocolatesauce]

So, I found this comment on a video where Neil Newbon, the voice actor of Astarion, confirms that Astarion is, in fact, pansexual. Not gay, but pansexual, and this person still feels the need to try to debunk it, then has the gall to be like "IT FEELS LIKE GAY ERASURE TO MAKE A CLEARLY GAY MAN BI/PAN FOR MARKETING PURPOSES" when they were literally spouting bi/pan erasure just because Astarion is theatrical and talks about men.

So... who's going to tell them that Astarion flirts with Shadowheart and Lae'zel, too? Who's going to tell them that relying on stereotypes is bad?

"It's so weird to watch Astarion romance videos with a female Tav". Well, it shouldn't. He's pansexual. If you can't stomach it, that's your problem.

[catszu]

Writing Random Prompts Until I Improve Pt. 2

Prompt: Two people lost in a forest

Atsumu watches the twig underneath Sakusa’s foot snap with a satisfying crunch. 

“We’re definitely lost.” He says, shoving his hands deep within the pockets of his gym shorts. His legs itch where they’ve been rubbed by the various plant life on the overgrown trail. They’ve been out here for hours at this point. Far longer than they should have been. However, neither of them wanted to admit that they fucked up, so here they are, walking in the direction that they think the campsite is in.

“We are not lost.” Sakusa huffs. “The campsite is just down the mountain, how can we be lost if we just need to walk down.” He points in the vague direction of the slope of the hill they’re on. 

Atsumu eyes him skeptically from his position next to him. “I don’t know how we managed it, Omi. I jus’ know that we did.” 

Sakusa’s face pinches in displeasure. “We did not.”

“We absolutely did.” He insists. 

They stand at an impasse, surrounded by nature that was supposed to help them bond, staring hatefully at one another. 

Ever since Sakusa fucking Kiyoomi joined the Jackals last month, they fought like cats and dogs. Atsumu was having a great time, he always took immense pleasure from driving that stony expression on Sakusa’s face to something a little more unhinged. And Sakusa, the bastard, gave as much as he got. It didn’t have to make sense to everyone, just them. 

The rest of the team just didn’t understand their dynamic. They’ve known each other for years and have been frenemies ever since. 

So what if they fought, it was their thing. And if they made out against the cool metal of the lockers until their lips were bruised, that was their business. Although the team didn’t know that minor detail. Captain Meian tiredly explained that their little tiffs were driving the team mad and they couldn’t take it anymore. They sent both him and Sakusa on this rapport building hike to “inspire good sportsmanship.” 

It was a load of shit but also, he’d take a good excuse to get Sakusa alone and kiss that prissy pout right of his lips. 

That is pretty much what Atsumu was running with until about an hour ago when the exploring stopped being fun and Sakusa’s pouty lips started to get a little less cute. 

Atsumu sighs, watching Sakusa continue to make long strides down the slope. “We’ve been walkin’ down fer hours Omi-Omi. I don’ think yer ingenious plan is workin’.” 

Atsumu is right, he knows that he is. They walked this direction for so long now that his feet are aching and he’s pretty sure there are insects crawling in places they absolutely shouldn’t. Yet, they still haven’t made it back to their team. However, Sakusa favors ignoring him and continues to walk mindlessly in the same direction as before. 

Atsumu hustles his pace to catch up and grabs Sakusa by one of his arms, slick with sweat. “Omi,” he pleads. “Ya’ve got ta listen ta me.” Atsumu watches the perspiration on the back of Sakusa’s neck bead and trail down into the collar of his shirt. “It’s dangerous ta be out here for much longer.” He squeezes the pale arm that he’s holding. “We need help. Or a real plan! But ya can’t keep draggin’ us farther away from where we started.” 

Sakusa swivels around, eyes narrowing in a chilling glare. “What do you suppose we do, Miya? Our phones are fucking dead and there’s no one else for miles but us. Who the hell do you think is going to help us? God?”

Atsumu blinks. “That’d be real nice but I don’t think that particular one likes the gays.” 

“Clearly.” Sakusa nods. “I wouldn’t be stuck in a fucking forest with you of all people if god gave an iota of a shit about me.” 

“I think ‘m the best person ta be stuck with ya right now. Imagine Hinata or Bokuto.” Atsumu gets shivers just thinking about it. Sakusa may leave the forest, but his two brothers in chaos would be buried here. 

His attempt at comforting Sakusa falls flat as he withers under the unimpressed silence he receives in return. 

Well then. 

Ever the optimist, Atsumu pushes past him. “We should just make a camp and stick it out. It’ll get dark soon and I don’t think ya want ta be trying ta walk around a dark forest.”

“Make a camp out of what? Twigs?” Sakusa asks, incredulous. “Shall we make a bed out of these dried crunchy leaves and feast on the weeds?”

Atsumu waggles his fingers at him and smiles. “Now yer talkin’.” 

Sakusa's frown deepens. “I hate you. I really do.” 

He rolls his eyes, surveying the area for something to start building shelter with. He was a boy scout for 3 days with ‘Samu when he was 9. He learned some things. “Ya only have me with ya right now. Would it kill ya to make nice for a second?” Atsumu asks while he wrangles some large and flat leaves from their stem. He puts them in a small pile and looks at Sakusa standing behind him with limp arms and a sour face. 

“Ya could make yerself useful and try to find somethin’ ta start a fire with.” 

Sakusa’s face seemed to drop more, falling into a would-be-cute-if-not-for-the-circumstance pout. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to be looking for, Atsumu.” He whines, or at least Atsumu imagines that’s what a whine would sound like from someone as prideful as Sakusa Kiyoomi. 

Ah, he forgot. Sakusa is a city boy through and through. “Fine, bastard. Why don’t ya sit on that log over there and just look pretty. Don’t ya worry ‘bout it. I’ll do everythin’.” He gestures to the stump across from him. 

Sakusa sits with a petulant huff and crosses his legs delicately one over the other. He always sat so pretty even when he had dirt smudged across his forehead and his clothes are drenched in sweat. 

It was annoying. 

Atsumu loved it. 

He grit his teeth and got to work, with all the knowledge of a nine year old boy scout that was forced to be there by his tired mother. He remembers almost nothing but Sakusa seems to put faith in him as he watches Atsumu work from his place on the stump. For some reason, it makes Atsumu want to try harder. He knows that Sakusa is uncomfortable, ridiculously so. He’s extremely impressed that Sakusa has withheld his complaints about it for as long as he did. However, it looks like it wasn’t going to last, if his constant shifting meant anything. 

An uncomfortable Sakusa Kiyoomi was worse than an angry one because at least when he was angry, Sakusa made it clear. When he was uncomfortable and scared, he was frighteningly silent. They passed the time in utter silence, their only company the faint noises of the wildlife around them. 

He’s so focused that he nearly misses Sakusa when he speaks. 

“What if no one finds us?” 

It’s a scary thought and Sakusa’s sorrowful whisper made it even worse. Atsumu pauses what he’s doing, turning his entire body to face him. 

He looks okay. Albeit, uncomfortable. But physically, he doesn’t look all that different from how he usually does. If it wasn’t for the master class he’s taken in all that is Sakusa Kiyoomi since he was 15, he probably wouldn’t notice it at all. But he did. And it broke his heart. 

Sakusa’s eyes are slightly wide as he takes in their rapidly darkening surroundings. His eyes flick from one spot to another, unable to stay still. His hands, which are delicately folded in his lap, are shaking like a leaf, his knuckles white from the pressure he’s putting on them to keep them still. It’s pointless. He trembles anyway, his whole entire body is. He could be cold, with the sweat drying on his skin, but Atsumu knows that he isn’t. He knows that isn’t what this is. 

Atsumu stands, dusting the dirt off his knees and then wiping them on his soiled clothes. He walks until he’s standing directly in front of Sakusa, who doesn’t look up. He crouches down, becoming eye level with Sakusa’s wobbling chin. 

Atsumu’s heart pangs inside his chest. “Hey. Hey.” he coos. “Ya think no one cares where we are?” He wraps a single tanned hand around the top of Sakusa’s and runs soothing circles over the mole placed directly in the middle of his hand. “Havin’ a twin brother has some perks ya know? I hate ‘im but somehow he always knows when I need ‘im the most. And I do. I really do right now, so I know he knows.” Atsumu squeezes the cold, pale hand. “Even if he doesn’t, we’ve got other people too, yeah? I won’t let ya die here, Kiyoomi. I promise.” 

Sakusa takes a trembling breath, a wet laugh escaping him. “You really think your twin telepathy will save us?” 

“Don’t ya dare knock it when it’ll be the reason we’re out of this hellscape.” 

There’s a distant howl in the background. It sounded far but it was still enough to make them both jump. He was starting to panic too but he wouldn’t show it, not when the man in front of him looked two seconds away from tears. Sakusa’s eyes sparkled in the dim light and when he squeezed his eyes shut, Atsumu saw one small tear roll down his cheek. 

Something cracks inside of him, flooding him with warmth. He gathers Sakusa’s face between his palms, squishing his pale cheeks together. “We’re gonna be okay.”  He promises. He keeps his voice as steady and even as possible. “Nothin’ is gonna happen to us, it’s probably just a bird.” He lies, Sakusa is looking at him with desperation in his eyes, hanging on to every absurd word that he’s saying. And Atsumu, he’s not really sure what he’s saying, just that he can’t stop talking because it’s the only thing keeping Sakusa together. 

Sakusa hiccups, a sob shaking through him. “I’m scared, Atsumu.” 

Atsumu kisses Sakusa’s wobbling bottom lip. His knees hurt where they dig into the rocks on the ground, and he’s pretty sure that he’s losing feeling in his toes. He’s cold and exhausted. But it doesn’t matter. Nothing else matters. Atsumu presses more gentle kisses into the skin around Sakusa’s mouth, one after the other. He moves his hands from Sakusa’s lap to his arms, rubbing soothing circles into the delicate skin of his arms. Atsumu nudges him forward and Sakusa follows eagerly until he’s settled directly in Atsumu’s lap.

It’s a little absurd, Sakusa is huge. But he’s an even bigger baby so Atsumu doesn’t really mind all that much. He holds him and rocks them both slightly. Sakusa buries his face in Atsumu’s neck and they both don’t say a word. 

It gets darker. Soon, they’re completely encompassed with only the faint light of the moon glowing above them. Atsumu admires it. At home, all the way in Hyogo, he could see the stars every single night from his backyard. He spent hours and hours in their treehouse with Osamu and at one point, Atsumu knew the names of every single constellation. 

After moving to the city. he’s since forgotten them. But he wonders if he did remember any at all, would some be the same as he’s looking at now?

“Hey, Omi.” 

Sakusa merely hums against the skin of his neck in acknowledgement and Atsumu has to suppress the urge to hunch his shoulders from how much it tickled. “The stars are real pretty right now,” he says, rubbing Sakusa’s back. “I think ya should look at ‘em with me.” 

He feels him raise his head, his dark curls grazing against Atsumu’s jaw as he looks up. Atsumu has always thought that Sakusa was beautiful, even when he was a gangly high schooler with bad fashion sense. Up close, Atsumu thinks he’s breathtaking. 

He asks before he can think twice about it. “Wanna go on a date with me?”

Sakusa blinks, eyes still trained upwards at the sky before he slowly lowers his gaze, leveling Atsumu with those unnerving dark eyes. Atsumu doesn’t move. Doesn’t breathe. He just stares back, meeting Sakusa exactly where he is. 

“You don’t have to ask me that.” he says, eying Atsumu with a confused glare. “We’re literally already dating, we go out all the time and you have never asked.” 

Atsumu wheezes. “What? Since when have we–I never–when did we?” he stumbles over his own words. He can feel his brain melting as the gears turn rapidly in his brain. 

Sakusa looks affronted. “What do you mean when? Since we kissed. For the first time.” He raises a brow as Atsumu continues to stare at him. “In the locker rooms?”

Atsumu just gapes at him. He wishes he could do literally anything else but he can’t. He’s been dating Sakusa Kiyoomi this entire time and didn’t know?!

Sakusa seems to catch on. “Oh my god.” He whispers, covering his mouth with one of his thin hands. He scrambles to get out of Atsumu’s lap, shoving his bony elbows into Atsumu’s sternum. 

Words finally come to him. “Noooo. NO. Wait a damn minute–Ow!” Atsumu tries and fails to wrangle an extraordinarily uncooperative, curly-headed sea urchin back into his lap. Sakusa is mumbling to himself and Atsumu can tell that the tips of his ears are red, even in complete darkness. Atsumu is laughing and he shouldn’t be because he is just so cute and Atsumu is so unbelievably happy. 

“Omi-Omi. Baby.”

“Shut the fuck up.” 

“It’s not a big deal!” Atsumu tries, sitting up to follow Sakusa. 

“Not that–” Sakusa scoffs. “Not that big of a deal?” He asks. 

“It’ll be funny, eventually”

“How did you not know?!” Sakusa cries, “I don’t let anyone touch me. Ever. Suddenly we are making out against the locker rooms and you think it’s just casual?” He looks alarmed for a moment and then wounded. “Have you–oh god. Have you been sleeping with other people?” 

Atsumu chokes. “Wha–”

“Oh my god.” Sakusa sits directly on the forest floor. “Oh god. I think I might actually be sick.” 

“What the fuck? What the fu–NO” He shouts. Atsumu shuffles towards Sakusa. “Omi. Kiyoomi. My Omi-Omi, I have not touched a single hair on another person’s head since bein’ with ya. I swear!” 

He wouldn’t even want to. He’s waited for Sakusa since they were 15 years old. He would have waited even longer but it appears he never needed to. Atsumu swipes a hand through his hair. “Ya really gotta work on yer communication skills, Omi. Jesus. How was I s’posed to know how ya felt if ya don’ tell me?” 

“I suppose that’s true.” Sakusa relents. “How embarrassing.” 

Atsumu laughs and laughs. Eventually Sakusa does too. Though, his laughter is breathy and low while Atsumu’s laughter is always loud and bright. He likes the contrast of them, Omi has always been his opposite in everything, even the physical. He likes them just fine that way. Not everyone gets them and maybe they bicker more than they should, but Atsumu thinks they’re perfect. 

Just like this. 

Suddenly, light floods in between them, swinging back and forth before the sound of boots crunching on the dried leaves rings out. 

“Miya? Sakusa? Is that you?” 

Atsumu can’t make out who’s talking to them before they call out again. “Hey, guys! I found them!” 

A blanket is being wrapped around his shoulders and Atsumu watches as the entire team rushes forward. Bokuto and Hinata are crying and he thinks that Inunaki might be as well. There’s also several forest rangers with industrial flashlights pointed at Atsumu’s makeshift shelter. 

“Boy scouts.” He says weakly, laughing a little. 

They do make it down the mountain and Meian (the one who found them after hearing them laugh) apologized profusely the entire way down. Atsumu gave him shit the entire time, but the truth of it was that he didn’t mind at all. 

He went into the forest without a boyfriend and came back with one. So in his books, it was pretty alright. 

[mazepunner]

my tmr headcannons

this is a work of disaster i am bringing over from my alarming twitter. my headcannons. all together. enjoy.

while minho runs the maze, he's thinking of everyone back in the glade, individually, and why he needs to keep going for them.

alby once got in a huge screaming match with gally over who should be second in command.

gally has a soft spot for newt and they've accidentally fallen into really deep conversations by the campfire.

when newt did his leg thing alby let him pick which job he wanted.

zart once started a food fight and alby threw him in the pit for wasting food.

ben once knocked a candle over and burned one of the huts down.

gally concussed himself on the job and actually shut up for a week.

chuck once called out for his mum in his sleep and everyone heard but nobody ever acknowledged it.

nobody ever told newt that they'd finished mapping the maze.

gally once got so mad he threw a hammer and alby put him in the pit for a week.

gally was the pit's most frequent visitor.

during an argument at a keeper's meeting, winston once told newt that "not everyone got to pick their jobs" and newt walked out.

winston immediately came out and apologised and there was a bit of crying, some confessions, and hug. from then, winston and newt really saw eachother eye-to-eye.

in ben's legendary hut fire of '85, gally threw his 'trade secret' drink on it and made it much much worse.

still on the topic of the hut fire, alby froze and didn't know what to do, while newt barked orders and managed to get it under control. people called him 'fire chief' for weeks.

jeff hated his job.

newt has insomnia and alby used to stay awake and keep him company as they walked around the glade.

minho used to just come and sit beside newt without saying anything and somehow that meant so much to both of them.

alby swore once and everyone threatened to throw him in the pit.

minho snores.

gally is janson's son or nephew i haven't decided.

when newt started working in the fields everyone came up and either hugged him or gave him a pat on the back and he teared up.

zart once fell on his head while trying to do a cartwheel and everyone thought he was dead until he got up and did another once, successfully, with the others all screaming at him to stop.

alby used to have this little spot in the deadheads where he'd go to have a breather and everyone knew just to leave him alone.

gally got sick once and lost his voice and minho took the opportunity to insult him until he got punched.

newt is gay.

newt had a crush on alby but never ever would have told him ever because he didn't think it was relevant to their situation and nothing would ever come of it.

newt found out he was allergic to sheep when wckd sent one up in the box and he had a sneezing fit every time he walked past it. 

he'd insist he was fine until his eyes swelled up and winston realised what was going on and yelled "kill the sheep!"

gally and newt once got so drunk at a bonfire that they waltzed together.

it ended abruptly when gally tripped and they both almost fell into the fire.

minho and alby caught them and alby yelled at everyone to go to bed.

zart can draw. really really well.

when chuck first arrived he didn't speak for two days.

newt once fell asleep on alby at the bonfire and everyone just let him

they had glade-wide games of hide and seek and it was chaos

ben once ate a bug and was worried he'd get superpowers

gally's excuse for quitting being a runner was that he got bored

if someone's having a rough time, frypan arranges their breakfast into a little picture before giving it to them

alby's scared of mice

newt's double jointed in a lot of ways and it freaks alby out but zart loves it

ben replaced newt as a runner.

chuck once sat in some mud and gally lent him a shirt to tie around his waist to cover it up until he could fix it

when ben replaced newt they both found it hard to talk to each other

and minho literally only talked to ben about running and had no patience for anything else... to begin with

zart kept trying to come up with his own catch phrase and was always cycling through them

frypan gave everyone a safety briefing before they started work in the kitchen, mentioned it to gally once and he started doing the same with the builders

winston always slept in and had to be woken up by alby or newt

gally built the homestead before he had a growth spurt, so all the doorways are too low for him

when thomas got stung, teresa and chuck stayed by his side the whole time

and during that time chuck told teresa that he wanted to see his parents again

newt once said alby's name in his sleep and minho heard and starting laughing so loudly that everyone woke up

ben once sneezed on alby and everyone screamed and ran

gally once tripped on a fence and fell into the pig pen

ben decided he was going to give frypan a night off and cook for everyone. the kitchen caught fire.

there were relationships in the glade but none of them were ever 'public'

on bonfire night frypan always walked around making sure everyone was hydrated and fed and not drinking too much of gally's drink

on bonfire night gally always walked around making sure everyone was drinking too much of gally's drink

clint could sing

jeff could too and sometimes you'd be able to walk past the homestead and hear them harmonising together

ben was by far the most susceptible to gally's drink. by far.

minho was actually a super anxious person but really good at hiding it

for a week the glade had a pet caterpillar

it went missing and zart tried to launch an investigation before alby told him they needed food more than they needed caterpillars

alby remains the prime suspect on zart's list to this day

minho and newt literally ran into each other in the maze once and newt went FLYING

minho was laughing too hard to help him up

alby once called a meeting to put an end to everyone calling each other "bro" because it was "annoying and stopping work from getting done"

minho had started the trend

gally once got so annoyed with everyone that he went and sat in the box

minho checked in on the runners because he didn't want anyone losing hope

for a long time alby was the one who could really make minho smile

when newt and minho met up at the end of their routes, minho would look at newt expectantly, newt would just shake his head and then minho would pat him on the back and they'd run back to the glade in silence

newt used to give chuck his leftovers

alby fell asleep in the homestead during the day once and everyone started placing bigger and bigger items on him until zart tried to balance a table on his head and he woke up

winston really admired alby and wished he could lead as well as him

whenever frypan was sad, he would talk to alby

-there was this running joke that alby shaved every morning because he didn't want anyone to know that he was an old man

newt was initially REALLY shy

approximately 40% of them sang in the showers

frypan made special meals for anyone who'd been in the med shack that day

if anyone left rubbish lying around newt would kick it at them

zart would follow him around picking it up

minho was quietly fascinated by zart

zart was loudly fascinated by everyone

friendship bracelets were a thing for a while, thanks to zart and clint

alby would throw his arm around whoever was nearby

clint's job stressed him out big time but he couldn't imagine doing anything else. it was just really frustrating not having the resources to really help when he needed to.

if newt was in a stroppy mood he'd sit down next to someone and pull his legs up and drape them across that person's lap

in response to that: zart would smile, minho would pay no attention, alby would worry, jeff would start checking his legs over (and newt would try to kick him), and gally would laugh

oh and chuck would hug his legs

chuck secretly wanted to be a medjack but it scared him

there was one person who would always talk to whoever was upset or crying and that person was jeff

when ben and minho ran past thomas and chuck that very first time, they got to the map room and immediately cracked up laughing at thomas' face

alby was actually the best friend in that he would ALWAYS laugh at people's jokes

zart wanted to celebrate when each glader had spent a year in the glade but alby firmly told him no because it wasn't something to celebrate

but zart got frypan to sneak each person an extra helping of bacon at the bonfire when their day came around

when ben got made a runner he just subconsciously started spending all his time with minho. he was just drawn to him, wherever he was. so they ended up spending every minute of every day together.

ben was always the guy who didn't get the joke but laughed anyway

frypan was super perceptive and could always pick up on someone feeling upset or off in any way

chuck subconsciously looked up to EVERYONE. he wanted to be brave like minho, funny like zart (he always laughed at zarts jokes), smart like alby, friendly like winston, caring like newt, loyal like ben, cheerful like frypan, the list goes on

and my point is he didn't see any of this consciously but he took on little pieces of them all every time he spoke to them. they all influenced him like older brothers and helped him to feel at home, one of them.

gally did little things to make everyone feel at home. that thing he said to thomas about being "safe with us" he said to everyone in one way or another. he reminded them that the glade was their "haven" from whatever was out there

i don't believe thomas had a crush on newt "from the moment he saw him" but i think newt mesmerised him a little and once he mentioned being a runner thomas decided he was definitely worth getting to know above anyone else

there was one day when everyone had a turn styling chucks hair around the campfire

winston yells at flies

one day, when newt was sad, minho came up behind him and just starting brushing his hair until it fluffed up

chuck always had clammy hands and was subconscious about it until gally told him it just meant he was working hard all the time

oh and the fluffy hair newt thing, alby was watching and smiling from nearby as newts smile slowly grew too

ben was even more optimistic than zart and that's saying something

and minho went through moments of being SUPER pessimistic like "the world is ending" type stuff and ben would always be like "no i don't think so"

newt was honestly a pretty good runner

^but not in a competitive way, like minho was. he just quietly went out and got the job done really well.

there was a dance move known only as "the zart" and no i won't describe it

when alby cried you KNEW it was serious

they had three banishments before ben's

when newt felt sad he tried to help out more with the animals because it felt good taking care of someone else

alby arrived with a blank book and he kept a journal of every day in the glade.

zart has four aloe vera plants growing up the back of the vegetable garden and he treats them with utmost importance

they grow sunflowers and eat the seeds

gally was the one who taught chuck how to carve the little chuck doll

gally would tell people if they had food on their face

zart has a bad back

the medjacks had a little "how to-" book which was all of the information they'd learned over the years

newt wrote a sassy note in that book when he was in a bad mood one day that basically said "how to piss off newt: leave him in here, alone and bored"

clint drew little doodles around the entries

minho and alby used to have thumb wars

the runners had meetings each week to discuss anything they'd found

clint was really good at opening jars

zart and frypan figured out how to make herbal tea and they always left peppermint tea out on the kitchen bench for when newt couldn't sleep

ben and gally were mates

frypan was by far the best hugger

they all SUCKED at communicating their feelings

except for clint who's an oversharer - lena

they once had a limbo contest and jeff was the winner by far

going way back to the subject of zart being able to draw, he would stay up late drawing by candlelight before bed. and because they didn't have mirrors he drew portraits for everyone so that they could know what they looked like.

and back to the subject of newt not sleeping, sometimes he would sit with zart. zart tried to teach him to draw but newt got frustrated and found it much more relaxing to just watch zart create his magic.

and when newt was in a good mood he'd sit there making requests for zart to draw and zart would always put his own little spin on whatever newt asked for and complicate it.

like one time newt asked him to draw a cat and zart drew a whole forest of animals and hid a cat in one of the trees.

newt, minho and zart had discussions about sexuality together. nothing hugely revelatory like coming out, but enough to feel comfortable with each other and know that they could if they felt the need.

zart and newt both knew the other wasn't straight. minho gave nothing away and just said "i'm down with that" to whatever they were discussing

somewhat related to pride, newt was easily distracted by rainbows

gally became a builder because he wanted a job that kept his hands busy and that he could really keep track of his progress and see his achievements

newt and minho kept each other company whenever they sensed they needed it

one time alby told them all to shut up and go to bed, got in his hammock, it broke and it was so unexpected that nobody knew what to say

then newt quietly went "are you okay?" and zart started laughing

gally got up and silently helped alby fix the hammock before going straight back to bed

minho could keep a secret. and he knew EVERYONE'S secrets because he paid attention.

when thomas arrived they genuinely all thought he'd be a slopper and nobody doubted it

anyone who slept with their shoes on got their laces tied together by minho

once newt went to hug alby and accidentally kissed him on the cheek out of instinct, panicked, and started power walking in the other direction

minho witnessed the whole thing and immediately started crying with laughter

alby had to go after newt and check he was okay without laughing too

newts one of those people who, when he gets angry or frustrated, he tears up. and it just makes him more frustrated to he tears up even more and he hates it because he thinks people won't take him seriously if they notice.

gally and newt both fidget a lot.

oh and so does thomas but like next level fidgeting. he has to be DOING something all of the time or he can't sit still.

alby loved all of the gladers so much so so so much

winston, clint and ben were all left handed

the trackhoes used to have the worst back problems after gardening all day every day, so clint became the resident masseuse

zart used to literally have daily massages

newt always got leaves stuck in his hair

zart always stuck leaves in newt's hair

newt's favourite food was bacon. like he LOVED it and everyone else was like okay mate calm down and newt was like BACON

there was one day that little bouquets of flowers started appearing around the place and everyone knew it was zart but he never admitted to it

when minho wanted someone to know he cared about them he'd give them a little pat on the back

minho used to love taking part in the bonfire nights but as time went on he found them more and more pointless

frypan is one of those people who can really REALLY hold it together for so long. nobody gets to know if he's feeling sad until he breaks down.

alby is surprisingly good at impressions and accents

zart has a love-hate relationship with the goat: it's cute, but it can also completely destroy all of his hard work in the span of an hour

the goat had been put in the pit numerous times before newt suggested that was a bit cruel and they should tie it up outside and release it under supervision instead

newt has the biggest "okay, fuck you" face out of anyone in the glade and it comes out extra strong when he's being mocked (inspired by visro's brain)

and when newt's "fuck you" face comes out, it usually earns him a little ruffling of his hair, courtesy of minho of course

and every time, newt will swat his hand away but every time, he'll also smile

anyway that's enough about newt because clint makes necklaces

gally's biggest priority is making sure the med hut is in good shape and asking the medjacks if they need anything built or replaced

ben is the kinda person to say 'ow' even when something doesn't hurt

gally looks up to everyone (even though he literally doesn't show that ever at all, just believe me)

minho was really REALLY pissed when gally quit being a runner and they had this huge fight that they both never really got over

anyway minho doesn't know what it feels like not to constantly work hard

zart once tried to make alby a wig out of hay. alby wore it once and then didn't stop sneezing for a week

clint takes every decision and outcome to heart and jeff has to talk him down each time

after newts accident jeff forced clint to take a break because clint was convinced he was making the wrong decisions for newt

gally has ocd

they have this whole book of theories for why they're in the maze

alby contributed the least to the book because he was convinced that it didn't matter why they were there

winston was super brainy

somebody made a "caution: wet floor" sign and threw it in the pond

the bonfires were frypan's idea

zart was a big hugger

gally built crutches for newt and sanded them down until they were perfect

at first, newt was convinced he didn't need them but after a stern word from jeff about how hard gally had worked on them, newt gave in

winston is super flexible

whenever anyone's feeling down they eventually end up with a pep talk from alby or newt

gally built board games for when they had to shelter from the rain or rest inside for any reason

zart plays snakes and ladders with anyone who's willing

alby makes a point of talking to every single person on bonfire nights

newt tries to do the same but gally's trade secret recipe often gets in the way of that

because im watching tdc and minho dropping to his knees inspired me: when minho found newt in the maze he skidded to a stop on his knees beside him

when ben got stung minho tried to talk to him for hours because the others all thought he'd be the best one to get info out of him

newt had this big chat to alby about feeling bad for whacking ben in the head when he probably didn't need to and gally poked his head in and reminded newt that ben was trying to kill thomas

and newt took gally's word for it that it was okay because gally had been hit in the head so many times they'd all lost count

okay that's it for now oh my god

that was two years' worth of headcannons

[orangechickenpillow]

Losing my mind thinking about an Arcane Western AU. I mean think of how fun that could be?!

Silco

The scariest mother fucker in the West.

Seriously, top-tier bad guy -- smolder, cool jacket and all.

And he's got memorable scars on his face, so he'd probably have a badass nickname given to him by The Law™️

No one crosses him, and if they do they lose a hand (or their head) and it gets mailed back to their wife/sons/whatever.

Has a band of goons that are stupid as shit but follow him around anyway.

Exploits literally everyone.

Jinx

Second scariest mother fucker in the West. Unhinged to the utmost degree.

Silco's second in command (according to her) and don't be fooled -- she waves that shit around like a flag. Gets her whatever she wants, because, threats.

Can shoot like nobody's business. Loves the theatrics of a duel, and always wins.

People tell their children ghost stories about Jinx to keep them in line.

Is a horse girl, and names all her ponies (which are just as crazy as she is - no one can ride them because they are Feral)

For sure blows up a train at some point.

Sevika

Silco's actual right hand man

Sevika in a Pancho take me the fuck out

Does the Torturing™️ and runs the "Errands" (more torturing)

Definitely robs a bank at least once a week

Bar fights. All the time. Sevika enters a bar, there will be Violence

The brothel ladies love her (and she also beats the shit out of the aggressive assholes who threaten them)

Has a long-running beef with the Mayor (of what town, you ask? All of them)

Vi

The Disgruntled Cowboy whose come back from war or something

Has complex PTSD and attitude issues, but once you get to know her she’s just a big softie

Isn’t the best shot, but will still Fuck You Up

Punches her way through everything

Bar fights. Almost as notorious as Sevika, and just as destructive 

Remember those brothel ladies? Yup, they love her too (Sevika and Vi out her doing god’s work for the sapphics, am I right)

Will break like five different bones and still save some poor little town from being overrun by outlaws the next day

Wears a Lucky Hat that she’s had since the beginning of time. Will not let any other hat touch her head. Will go back for said hat even if it means risking her life. 

Thigh holster

Caitlyn 

The damn best shot in the West

Heart of gold, law-abiding citizen 

Probably the sheriff of somewhere

Wears a slouch hat (!!!) and looks damn good in it 

Would not hesitate to shoot a man in the foot. Dude is a misogynistic asshole? Oops, her finger slipped. And no one will ever know because she’s the sheriff. It’s a good system

Likes locking bad guys in the clink (definitely refers to it as “the clink”)

Has a moral dilemma when a certain Disgruntled Cowboy rides into town looking for the nearest saloon

Has a gay awakening because of beforementioned Disgruntled Cowboy and says fuck the law before riding off into the sunset

Thigh holster

Jayce

The mayor that Sevika has beef with

Is that one character in all westerns and western-themed media that provides a little bit of exposition, but is otherwise unhelpful in every way possible

Insists on wearing a shiny badge even though he is not the sheriff (which Caitlyn has told him many times and he still won’t listen)

Probably takes in like five different orphans because look at them he can’t just leave them all alone

Thinks that anyone who breaks the law is a threat to his fine little town and the fine little people that live there

Probably has a mustache, idk

Definitely wears spurs even though he doesn’t have a clue how to ride a horse

Everyone teases him about this

Viktor

Local chemist by day, unhinged mad scientist by night

Wishes everyone would stop coming to him with their injuries because “I am not technically a doctor and you are bleeding all over my lab equipment get outttttttt”

Anyone who manages to notice him thinks he’s a sweet little guy 

Knows how to kill and dismember a man before anyone notices a thing (...don’t ask)

Isn’t great with a gun -- but knives, on the other hand.... (again, don’t ask)

Isn’t above beating the shit out of people with his cane. Which also has a secret knife built into the handle

Has a running tab at the local saloon, which no one but himself and the owner knows about. Secretly never plans on paying it off. 

Can’t ride very comfortably because of his leg, but has a horse, whom he loves very much and always gives treats and scratches to

Thinks the mayor is hot but won’t do anything about it

Has a Sexy Pocket Watch

[nayarablueglasses]

hello hello hello gay panic headcanonns for kirishima, bakugo, sero, shinsou, and iida is my request i saw your denki post and wanted to give you sumn attention miss ma'am

i was honestly not expecting this!! so sorry it took this long to respond, I don't know if you can tell but i wrote these in the span of a week because i got really really busy and was inturrupted everytime i sat down to start.

also... i do apologize deeply but my shinsou hc just wasn’t turning out right and in the end i decided it’s not worth posting. my apologies ;;

so glad you enjoyed my denki x male reader!!

here you go ♡♡

warnings:

kirishima’s reader really likes strawberry milk and that’s the theme of it, vv sorry if you don’like strawberry milk ;; personally it’my favourite thing ever along with coconut bread

bakugo’s has a brief mention of a kick to the chest and the following nosebleed, it doesn't go into detail but if that bothers you then please do skip ^-^

and just a little author’s note, please enjoy and let me know what you think and if there should be other warnings ♡♡

☞☆ Kirishima

oh he’s mad

i’ll tell you why

you came out of your dorm today looking sad

so of course, being a manly man, he asks you what’s wrong

you’re out of strawberry milk and didn’t realize, it seems

manly man that he is

he found some more for you

that’s not why he’s angry

your eyes lit up and you got so excited

strawberry milk is apparently one of your favourite things

so you thanked him with a hug

but no that’s not exactly why he’s angy

he’s angy because all he said was “THAKOME”

“thakome" wtfl (what the fairy lights)

he was trying to say thanks for the hug and “you're welcome” for the milk

he ran away

and then began pondering how deep in the shit called love he was

turns out he’s very deep in love shit

now what does he do

he’s not afraid to like guys especially cos you're super manly

but what if you don’t think it’s manly to like men

just his luck

you invited him to your room to play games and there’s an lgbtq+ flag on your wall

he saw an opportunity and was super casually like “heY where can i get one cos liKE i gotta represent too y’know"

your eyes lit up again, stop that

then you two got to talking about how you realized you were gay

you shared your story and asked for his

took some convincing but manly men don’t lie so he told you that you're pretty much his story

highkey you teared up a little and told him you really like him

bakugo rolled his eyes when he saw you two holding hands and was all like

“about time you two dumbasses”

you just ignored him while kiri turned red and started mumbling

☞☆ Bakugo

what is attraction

no like he really doesn’t like people

but you two were sparring, right

and you were sweaty

and you were grinning

and you kicked him in the chest ^-^ look at you i’m so proud you landed a hit on bakugo

the exact moment he fell in love

and then you rushed over and you made the saddest face he’s ever seen

you were honestly so afraid he was hurt from the face he made

...

...

...

“holy shit”

so maybe you must’ve kicked him in the nose, not chest

because he’s got a nosebleed

it didn’t help that you help your shirt to his nose and you were leaning all close

he may or may not have exploded a little bit of the floorboards

don’t blame him, he has no idea how to communicate with words

so when he goes to recovery girl (at your insistence) he’s pissed

like

why does he keep thinking about you

literally what is the point, you’re shit at fighting anyways

poor baby

he doesn’t understand this

next time he sees you he’ll literally scream, “GET OUT OF MY HEAD EXTRA, WHY AM I THINKING OF YOU ALL THE TIME”

you’re confused

kirishima will have to coach him, with plenty of quips from denki and sero

so the next time he’ll confess with kiri’s teachings in mind

☞☆ Sero

you’re trying to tell me he hasn’t done this gay panic shit before?

he knows how this goes

he’s fully content to just sit here and look at your handsome face

like

he was scatter rained enough

but he’s not even listening aizawa-sensei anymore

just

--staaaaare--

you know what i’m talking about

it’s not creepy or anything, just

“pay attention, cellophane”

oh shit

play it cool

just pretend to be actually listening for a few

it’ll be fine

he’s been through that situation so many times

at this point the whole class knows

everybody’s certain that’s aizawa’s way of wingman-ing

except you never look up on time

you catch him looking sometimes but he plays it cool and points at mineta with a grin

it works every time, mineta is always trying to perv someone >:(

he likes to imagine what would happen if he confessed

his favourite is where you butterfly kiss him

he has less nice scenarios in his head but that one always makes him smile

once in the dorm kitchens you asked him why he’s smiling

you said it super innocent and it sounded so neutral he didn’t stop himself from answering

“just because i like you”

aizawa stopped telling him to pay attention after thfe irst time he saw you holding hands in the hallways

sero will never stop smiling

what a goof but you love him

☞☆ Iida

oh boy why you gotta confuse sanic like this huh??

and when i say confused i mean he doesn’t understand this at ALL

don’t get it twisted, he knows what “gay” is

sanic just didn’t realize HE was gay

and boy is he

see, sanic is well put together

he knows exactly who he is

and then you

y o u

you gave him some art you did of him

he was like ??? thanks for the art??? when did you draw this???

he’s supportive of this new artistic talent but it’s  n e w  to say the least

so you went “oh i just look at you all the time”

you said it so casual

but you ran away after that as i would

not as fast as sanic but he wouldn’t have gone after you

because he was dumbstruck anD i MeAn he was struck dumb

you??? look at him?? aLL tHe tIME? like??

so being the responsible class rep that he is

he had an existential breakdown

came face to face with the fact that his friendly feelings towards you are’t as friendly as he’d been convincing himself

denied it

accepted it

and then ran after you in the five seconds after you ran off

oh boy words are awful because how do people confess? i don’t know but don’t ask him, because he butchered it BAD

but at least the words left his mouth

honestly this boy didn’t even stop to consider what would happen after he confessed

he just word vomited

which is why he’s extra happy when you hug him and tell him you feel the same

in more simple words of course

“i like you too, tenya!”

sonic’s in heaven please hug him some more

[melatovnik]

hi, can u rec other sbwy fics?

yes i most certainly can!

below under the cut is a selection of very good sbwy (and sgwy) fics, i.e., wangxian fics where wwx experiences compulsory heterosexuality. by no means is it a comprehensive list of all the excellent fics of this genre, because i'm a super slow reader and simply haven't gotten to them all yet, but these are just the ones i've read and enjoyed so far. of course, mind all tags/content warnings etc you know what's up

~ the Straight Boy Wei Ying universe series by raitala | rated E | 36K words total | i know this ask was prompted by my earlier rec of this series but i'll include it here anyway. a very charming wonderful story, with extremely massively hot sex scenes

Sit down next to me | 7K words

Lan Zhan has been in love with his tragically straight best friend Wei Ying forever. So what if some girl says Wei Ying is a bad kisser? Lan Zhan has to prove to Wei Ying that this is incorrect. Because Lan Zhan is a good friend. He out does himself.

If I hadn't seen such riches | 29K words

Sequel to "Sit down next to me" - if you haven't read this all you need to know is that Wei Ying thinks he is straight. He just really likes his best friend Lan Zhan. Who is incidentally a really great kisser. Who also made him come in his pants one time. Who also has a *really* big dick, which Wei Ying sucked one time, but, like, in an experimental way, not in a gay way. They are just really good friends, right? Lan Zhan is the best. Lan Zhan is crying inside.

~ Keep Up by mimilamp | rated E | 27K words | i actually just read this one today and wwhfoohgkhdghihHHHHHHhghhhhhhgh 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 INSTANT FAVE. MUST READ.

“She was going to kiss me,” Wei Ying says, muffled, into his hands.

Lan Zhan makes sure he keeps his breaths even. “Hm,” he says. Wei Ying looks up at him, wild: a little tipsy, perhaps. Confused, in a panic. His mouth is red like he’s been kissed—he hasn’t. He’s a lip biter, has a habit of picking at his dry lips, the winter sores at the corner of his mouth. It drives Lan Zhan to madness. He dreams of Wei Ying’s puffy mouth, often, sometimes with the real Wei Ying in a sleeping bag on the floor next to his bed. On mornings like those he wakes up in a cloud of embarrassment—hobbling to the bathroom at dawn, running a loud shower to hide the sounds. Wei Ying sleeps on.

“How do I—” Wei Ying starts, stops. He then lets out a single laugh, another. He says: “Oh my god. How do I kiss? Lan Zhan, how do I kiss?”

*

Or: Wei Ying has a girlfriend now. Wei Ying doesn't want his best friend to lag behind.

~ A Brilliant Idea by FrameofMind | rated E | 25K words | good for you wei ying

The one where Wei Ying (straight) and Lan Zhan (gay) make a shared tinder account to save money, because Wei Ying has brilliant ideas.

(Wei Ying has terrible ideas.)

~ worth it for the feeling by occultings | rated E | 8K words | they're both girls in this one! "straight" girl wei ying 🥰

“I’ve never gotten off with another person,” Wei Ying says that night, apropos of nothing.

~ ready to run by detectorist | rated E | 21K words | really really enjoyed the plot and atmosphere and everything in this story

“You should make a Tinder account for campaigning,” Nie Huaisang says.

Wei Ying chokes out, “What?”

“Sounds like an absolutely terrible idea,” Jiang Cheng says flatly.

“No, it’s a great idea!” Nie Huaisang insists. “You just swipe right on everyone and then send them a message about how they should vote for you. You’re hot, Wei Ying! People will definitely match with you and then you can swoop in and hit them with the politics!”

“I don’t even have Tinder,” Wei Ying protests. He’d downloaded the app in first year but had quickly deleted it after a girl responded to his message of wanna get a drink with yeah sure, what time?

“That can be easily fixed,” Nie Huaisang says.

—

Wei Ying downloads Tinder to help him campaign for his student union election. He gets a little more than he bargained for.

~ drop the game by martyrsdaughter | rated E | 28K words | cheerleader wwx + jock lwj + fake dating + practice kissing + insane sexual tension = me, flattened like a cartoon character after getting run over by a truck

Wei Ying grabs a pen from Lan Zhan’s desk, curling his legs into a lotus pose under the arms of the chair so he can easily spread the journal out across his lap. Even upside down, Lan Zhan can read his large, messy characters scrawled across the top: Lan Zhan + Wei Ying’s Rules for Dating.

Perhaps this was a bad idea.

~ big hands (i know you're the one) by martyrsdaughter | rated E | 8K words | WHOOF 🥵

“Not a big talker, hm?” Wei Ying tilts his head to one side. “That’s okay, I’ve been told I’m a good enough conversationalist for three. My tongue is multi-talented and—”

He has just enough time to feel her palm on the back of his neck and think, oh, her hands are so big, before his words are being stolen into her mouth.

~ Boy Trouble, We've Got Double by saltyfeathers | rated E | 60K words | LAN ZHAN???? BETHROTHED???? NOT TO WEI YING??????? it's less likely than you think! canonverse casefic, featuring tons of pining and wwx taking outrageous liberties with lwj's person, as is his right

Lan Zhan stands there in his immaculate, cloud-patterned Lan robes, watching him calmly, one fist tucked up against his back. “I am betrothed.”

Wei Wuxian blinks. “Are you…” He tries to laugh. Again, it sounds inhuman. “Is this about last night? Are you mad at me? I only remember some of it, Lan Zhan. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I’m sure whatever I did I was just—” He gestures uselessly. He remembers being warm in Lan Zhan’s lap. He remembers fitting snugly in Lan Zhan’s lap. Wrapping his arms around Lan Zhan’s neck. Nosing at his jaw. “…playing around.”

“This has nothing to do with you, Wei Wuxian.”

~ cherry ass wei ying (Chapter 3 of threadfic) by saltyfeathers | rated E

wei ying is so straight he sucks lan zhan's fingers about it.

~ all(e)y (Chapter 11 of threadfic) by saltyfeathers | rated E

prompt fill on twitter for straight boy wei ying + fake dating that ended up being too long for twitter so now it lives here in stupid silly shame. sorry the fake dating is a complete flyover state in this. to make up for it, i wrote out an entire blowjob for some reason.

~ lan zhan has fallen in fuck-love with the straight toad boy (Chapter 14 of threadfic) by saltyfeathers | rated M | there is no chapter summary provided by the author. the title says it all, really

~ wei wuxian loves mysteries! (Chapter 15 of threadfic) by saltyfeathers | rated G | a canonverse character exploration of wwx, set pre-CR (before wangxian first meet). soooo good

~ the mall that has it all by saltyfeathers | rated E | 8K words | 😳 wrow

She introduced herself in the food court, breathless after sprinting across it in Lan Zhan’s direction and vaulting over a table only to crash into the seat across from her, ask, “Can I have a sip?”, spring forward with both elbows on the table to wrap her burgundy lips around Lan Zhan’s smoothie straw, wrinkle her nose, and say, “What is that, kale? Not really my thing, as like, a mall goth. Oh!” A pleased, chaotic exhale. “My name’s Wei Ying.”

Lan Zhan said, after taking a moment to fully process the last forty-five seconds, “What?”

or;

mall goth au

~ I Wish You Would by brooklinegirl | rated E | 52K words | lan zhan fucks guys, wei ying pines, and lan zhan also pines

Lan Zhan takes a breath. His hands are in fists on his thighs. He stares down at them hopelessly, then carefully unclenches them, one finger at a time, before taking another breath and reaching for his lukewarm tea. He'll go out, tomorrow. Maybe in the late afternoon. Something quick. Something easy. He'll text his brother first, the short note of when he should be home, so he'll know to track him. He'll be fine, just like he said.

~ all that and more by Euphorion | rated E | 20K words | hot hot hot! and a classic

Wei Wuxian locks his phone and puts it down, blinks at his ceiling, and picks it up again. The pictures are still there.

His first thought is that Lan Zhan meant them for someone else. That he just woke up at—he checks the timestamp—6:30 am on a Sunday and decided to go absolute full nuclear seduction option on some poor boy he met on Grindr, who would now be missing out on the best thing to ever happen to him because Wei Wuxian had a bad habit of distracting—of—oh.

Pieces of last night start to resurface and paste themselves together in his head. He winces.

~ dreaming and getting a glimmer by verseau | rated E | 27K words | THE comphet gloryhole fic

Wei Ying discovers himself.

~ wanna feel a different kinda tension by verseau | rated E | 10K words | THE comphet watching-porn-together-and-also-wwx-jerks-lwj-off-with-his-own-freshly-used-fleshlight fic

Four times Lan Zhan walks in on his roommate masturbating.

that's all for now! happy october!

[djmarinizelablog]

A Conversation with the Author of City Comma State, kippielovesyou/ForcedSimile

Had a short interview with the author of City Comma State, @kippielovesyou/ForcedSimile and asked her if I could share our conversation online---she said yes!

Did you know that Hange and Levi in her work was based on Spongebob and Squidward's interactions?

Read the entire transcript below:

-------------------------------------

djmarinizela (D): if i may ask, where and how did you learn to write so good? what inspired you to write city comma state?

kippielovesyou (K): i don't mind at all! it's genuinely just years of practice. i've been scribbling stories since kindergarten (i had a long standing multi part series in first grade about all my classmates). i think one thing is certain: having a strong understanding of characters whether you borrow them or they are your own is pretty key.

a lot of points [in Isayama's story] could have been better thought out or tighter. however, we all love his characters. a weak plot (or in the case of city comma state: no plot) can be ignored or forgiven if everyone loves the characters

i'll be honest, i spend a lot of time trying to understand why a character does things or reacts a certain way. and yes, sometimes, that means i act out scenes in my car while driving. it's embarrassing...

there's a lot more to it, but to me that's the most important thing

as far as how city comma state came about: i wanted to do a slow burn romance centered around levihan, but I also wanted to show how all these characters care about and support each other. i knew in the confines of the AoT world, anyone could die at any moment and that didn't work with the softer feelings i wanted people to enjoy. how can you enjoy the friendship between mike and hange if he dies? it's possible, but it upends all the warmth we were enjoying. so i wrote an AU. i wanted to keep levi with a rough background with many walls, and i wanted hange to have her own issues that they can work through together. and i love the idea of them adopting/supporting the 104th kids without the fear of sending them out to war

D: your answer is so profound and helpful, thank you so much! I can honestly say you pretty nailed it when it comes to character development---everyone has a character arc in your fic! [my next question] is about the gender discourse in your story. I know you started City Comma State pretty early in 2014, but even back then, the nonbinary identity wasn't widely known before. How were you able to flesh out the discourse on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum and play it out on the dialogues and backstories?

K: it's pretty funny, a lot of the LGBTQIA+ has always been discussed i my family. we've had gay, lesbian, trans, gnc, bi and asexual people in my family for generations, as far back as the 20s (that we're aware of). hange's gender being debated made it a prime opportunity to write such an experience, some of which is borrowed from my own life. when i read older chapters i see certain slips in dialogue where i could have made an effort to be more neutral. we're in such a binary society that sometimes even if you feel in between, it slips in. in fact, i'm sure some people might take issue with the fact that i stuck with she/her for hange. i'm not sure i'd make a different decision today. i like this version of hange the way she is, and i hope hange's nb/gnc status comes across in more than just pronouns. hange's full identity is so much more than that and that is what i wanted to explore. and i think no matter where you fall on the whole LGBTQIA+ spectrum, you are more than just the label you've chosen. yes, in this story levi is bi/pan. but i don't think he ever says that explicitly, and he avoids labels. it seems fussy to him, which feels levi. discourse would not be his thing. i think even having a debate about whether or not he was bi or pan wouldn't be something he would want to engage in, he just wants to do what he wants. instead it's heavily implied. i think we forget since so many of us experience this discourse online and want to label things that there are people who don't want to involve themselves in it. it goes back to how would this character act. for instance, based on how levi is in canon, i can see many ways to interpret his sexuality. there's cues for a lot of different takes. but levi doesn't seem like the type that would need a definitive label in order to be happy. there's many ways to interpret hange's gender (and i've written several takes, some where they're more insistent on their pronouns), but i think hange's more excited to explore life than worry too much about much about how they're addressed or how someone talks about them. maybe another character might be more caught up in labels but hange and levi not so much

D: No, don't be sorry, I am more than thankful for your answer. I really appreciate it! I don't get to have these kinds of conversations with other writers, so I am grateful for your insights.

K: a really funny anecdote for you: i loosely based the idea of my levihan off of spongebob and squidward. you know, since they start out as neighbors and hange is more invasive than levi is used to

D: that's.... a stretch. but thanks for the tidbit! was the annual star wars contest also something that you do in your family? that part as well as all the geeky references won me over tbh!

K: it was an extremely loose inspiration! but hange mowing her lawn in the middle of the night so levi wouldn't be mad at her is on par with a spongebob move. and um...my family, while they can be a little nerdy, is not nerdy enough to do the star wars tournament! i made that up entirely

i just imagined hange having eccentric family, so they have very unusual traditions that none of the children question

i'll be the first to say a lot of city comma state is unrealistic and a little bit of a domestic fantasy. there's a lot of problems with money, employment and such that hange and levi SHOULD have but that's a little too real and not what i want to be the focus of this story. like hange landing a job that gives her a day off and she doesn't suffer a severe pay cut as a result? unrealistic. but i have other things i want to tackle. plus, in canon we have humans that turn into giants and 3D maneuver gear which would probably kill its user in real life. i think making certain parts of this fanfic a little idealistic is okay

D: are there other works that influence your writing? or authors that inspire you to write?

K: There's too many influences to count. reading is so important and even things that are bad are helpful. i actually was trying to read a YA series that seemed really cool and i had to stop reading because so many things were so annoying (I won't reveal which, since i think it has a small but dedicated fandom and i don't want to rain on their parade, it is purely a taste thing to some degree). instead of being upset and thinking that I wasted my time, i took note of what made me stop reading (that is a long list of things i didn't like so i won't bother to outline each one). even if it's something as small as a fanfiction that you had to click out of, ask yourself why you stopped. Especially with fanfiction: you already like these characters, what you're looking for is usually pretty specific (a pairing, an au, a specific scenario, etc). why, when this author has ticked all your superficial boxes, did you stop reading? and when you love something as yourself why. Ask yourself why you love the source material even! do you really love the plotlines and the world or do you love the characters? Is the dialogue strong? something to also pay attention to: people in general. how do they speak, gestures, facial expressions. really listen to how people talk (Youtube podcasts are really good for this!).

i think people would be surprised, a lot of what i really like to read is very all over. from surrealist novels, to classic literature, to science fiction aimed at children (i'm finally reading animorphs after almost 20 years!). and what i write for original fiction doesn't reflect what i'm probably best known for.

D: thanks for this, Kippie! looking forward to reading more of your works!

K: i'm still amazed at the response! writing is so solitary to me and i don't really look at my numbers. it never occurred to me that people would be discussing my fic!

-------------------------------------

If you haven't read Kippie's Levihan fic yet, here's the link to get started: City Comma State

[minimitchell]

callumhighwayweek day 2 - “I can’t think straight around you.” (ao3 link)

.

“I should go. Whit will be wondering where I am.”

Ben doubts it. Whitney was surrounded by Chantelle and Lola on either side, doing their umpteenth shot for the night at the bar the last time he’d seen her, right before he followed her fiancé through the heavy, wooden doors of the pub.

The Vic is packed tonight. The party they had going on for whatever reason and the regular Friday evening punters mixing together to fill the place up to the brim and no one even noticed Callum leaning down to whisper the words car lot into Ben’s ear on his way to the gents. He doubts anyone even noticed both of them are missing.

He’d sworn to himself he wouldn’t do this anymore; wouldn’t come running whenever Callum asked, or begged, him to. But it’s almost like he’s powerless when it comes to this, to him. Callum only has to look at him to get him to follow; to meet him somewhere secluded in the dark of the night; to accept the invitation to have him in his bed whenever Whitney is out or away.

He didn’t plan for it to happen again after that first time in the park and it’s obvious Callum hadn’t either. But there was this confrontation between them before the second time, a snide remark from Ben that snowballed into a full-blown argument, and before he could even get his wits about him they were tearing at each other’s clothes, pressing biting kisses onto the other’s lips. The third time started with a text from Callum saying they needed to talk and ended with Ben on his knees in the Arches.

He stopped counting after that.

Ben would love to pretend this is just about his purely selfish want for sex, a quick and easy way to get an orgasm, but it hasn’t been about that for a while now; maybe it never was. There’s nothing easy about this or about the ever-growing want to march into that building in a couple of weeks and beg Callum not to get married.

Ben Mitchell doesn’t get attached anymore and he certainly doesn’t catch feelings - only it seems he does for Callum Highway of all people.

So they meet up. They kiss, they have sex and Ben pretends he doesn’t leave a piece of his already battered heart with Callum every time he leaves him afterwards.

“‘Course. Don’t want her to think you’re playing away.”

He can barely keep the venom out of his voice; the jealousy bleeding into their conversations more and more the longer this affair between them continues. Callum might not want to label this as one, might not want to think too much about what they’re doing at all, but it’s exactly what’s been happening.

They’re sneaking around behind Whitney’s back and Callum might want to refuse to believe it, but he is actively cheating when he fucks into Ben on the couch at the car lot after basically eye fucking him across the pub the entire night at the Vic beforehand.

“Ben, come on.”

Ben masks his eye roll by looking down at the buttons of his shirt he’s still doing up again, fumbling with the little, white buttons and smoothing the fabric down when he’s done. He’s becoming more and more transparent the more they do this, have this kind of conversation with each other, he knows he is but he just can’t help it. He can’t keep pretending this is enough for him.

Callum is standing a feet away from the couch, stepping back into his jeans and flattening his hair back down so it doesn’t look like Ben ran his fingers through it while they were having sex with each other - even though that’s exactly what happened.

Looking at Callum now, Ben knows he’s easily the worst mistake he’s made since coming back to Walford; the one thing he never planned for. Not trying to help Callum find his way to himself, or kissing him that first time, he couldn’t regret that even if he tried. But letting himself go back time and time again; letting Callum touch and kiss and feel him ways he hasn’t let another man do in so long; letting himself fall for him in the process of all this.

“It’s alright. Don’t matter, does it.”

He isn’t really sure whether he’s talking about his own feelings or about Callum going back to Whitney when they both know this will happen again anyway, but it does make Callum pause in front of him, looking up to search Ben’s face for something he doesn’t really know. Ben doesn’t meet his eyes; his shoeless feet prove to be more interesting right now.

Callum takes a step forward, feet aligning with Ben’s on the ground. He’s wearing his black sneakers again already, ready to walk out the door and back to his fiancée, leaving Ben behind in the cold; nothing more than the outsider looking in.

The thought alone makes something in his stomach squeeze and turn.

“I know this is… complicated. And I do love her...”

Callum’s voice sounds strained, pained even, so Ben holds back the snort threatening to come out of his mouth, refraining from pointing out that Callum can’t love her that much if he keeps going back to Ben, keeps telling him he misses him the second they’re back in each other’s arms. If he really loved her as much as he likes to claim in front of Ben, he wouldn’t feel the need to keep texting him in the middle of the night.

He’s getting married to a woman while Ben keeps doing everything to get him to somehow choose him - complicated doesn’t even begin to cover it.

“But with you- it’s like I can’t think straight around you.”

Callum crouches down so he’s on Ben’s eye level, one of his hands darting out to run over Ben’s thigh in front of him. His eyes are bright and sincere, expression so completely open and honest, and this is why he keeps going back. This is the Callum he can’t seem to walk away from.

Because there’s so much potential between them. Ben is sure they could be so good together if given a real chance. They feel like two puzzle pieces to him sometimes, only making sense when put together to create an entire picture.

The knowledge that they’ll never get there is sobering. And too much to think about right now.

“Unfortunate turn of-”

“Ben.”

They huff out a quiet laugh together, heads falling forward before their eyes meet again with quiet smiles. Callum's thumb on his thigh moves back and forth, caressing the skin underneath in soothing motions. His other hand comes up to Ben’s cheek, taking it safely into the palm of his hand, and it takes every ounce of willpower for Ben not to lean into the touch.

“Just- when I’m with you, it’s like my head ain’t even working anymore. Like it doesn’t know what’s good for me. Nothing makes sense until you’re there with me. I can’t make sense of any of this.”

Ben knows that trying to convince Callum that the solution to how he feels is being true to himself and admitting he’s gay is for nought. They had this conversation, sometimes even an argument about it, a million times before and the outcome always remains the same - with Callum storming off insisting he loves Whitney and Ben getting drunk alone in the Albert, rejecting every guy that comes up to him because they aren’t the one he really wants.

It’s hopeless. And the endless cycle of it does neither of them any good.

“It’s okay. You’re gonna figure it out.”

It’s the closest thing he can say to what he wants, that doesn’t make Callum walk away in a huff. But the more he says it, the less he truly believes in it. He’s resigned; almost emotionless when he says it. Because there’s only so many reassuring words he can say when the results just don’t match.

Because while Callum does come back to him again and again to kiss the truth onto his skin, he still goes back to her every time afterwards to plan a wedding that keeps creeping closer and closer.

They are something with an expiration date, a limited lifespan.

And when the time, the ending, finally comes, Callum will be blissful and happily married and Ben will be left with a heart that’s been broken one too many times to ever be complete again.

“Please don’t be mad at me.”

Ben doesn’t think he could be even if he tried. He’s in way too deep for that.

No matter how disappointed or hurt he is by this push and pull they have going on, he knows Callum isn’t doing any of this intentionally. He knows, from deep personal experience, that his head is in a right state at the moment and he doesn’t want to add to the storm that’s already raging inside of Callum. He wants to make it better for him. If only Callum would let him.

“I’m not. Promise.”

They keep looking at each other for a long moment; no further words shared between them. Ben keeps fiddling with the hem of Callum’s shirt, running his finger along the stitching on the inside. It doesn’t take long for their eyes to drop down to each other’s mouths and when they do, the space between them becomes charged again; heat rising inside their bodies.

Callum leans forward at the same time Ben leans back and so they fall back onto the couch together, Ben pulling Callum back on top of him with hands fisted in his shirt. Their mouths meet again, tongues sliding together and hands back to wandering over each other’s bodies.

There are kisses being pressed along his jaw and down his neck and Ben can’t help but let out a low moan in response to it, his hands coming back around to mess with the buttons on Callum’s checkered shirt again.

He’s about to slip the top button free when there’s a sharp ping coming from Callum’s jacket on the floor beside them, ripping through the tension between them. It’s like a bucket of ice cold water is being dumped on them; the sharp burst of the bubble they keep creating around them.

Because Ben already knows who it is that’s texting Callum right now and it serves as another stark reminder that he’s just the other man; the bit on the side.

Callum leans away from him to unearth his phone from the floor and Ben can immediately tell by the way his face changes that there’s no round two for them right now. Instead, Callum shuffles off of him, pocketing his phone again so he doesn’t have to look Ben in the eye. It’s probably easier for him that way, Ben reckons. He can’t relate.

“It’s Whit.”

He doesn’t elaborate any further. Ben is grateful for that; he doesn’t want to hear it anyway.

“Yeah.”

He watches him while Callum shrugs his jacket back on and runs his hands over his clothes to make himself look presentable again; combing through his hair and straightening his shirt.

When he’s done he turns back to Ben, taking one, two steps to him and leans down to press a soft kiss to his cheek as a goodbye. They never say ‘bye’ or ‘see you later’; still stuck somewhere between insisting to themselves this won’t happen again and knowing they will go back to longing for each other by tomorrow.

Ben knows the moment Callum’s lips leave his cheek, leaving behind nothing but the ghost of his touch, that it’ll always be like this for as long as this thing between them continues.

Callum will text again. And Ben knows he’ll come running each and every time.

No matter how much it hurts him.

[dewitty1]

Modern Love

tackytiger @tackytigerfic

Chapters: 8/8 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Characters: Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Black Malfoy, Andromeda Black Tonks, Teddy Lupin Additional Tags: Draco Malfoy in the Muggle World, Slow Burn, Oblivious Harry Potter, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, idiots to lovers, Politics, Ministry of Magic (Harry Potter), Songfic, Friendship, Found Family, Mentions of Cancer, References to Illness, Chemotherapy, references to canonical child abuse, references to canonical deaths, References to Depression, Drunkenness, Sad Harry Potter, Church Services, Hymns, Atheism, Kissing in Church, Religious Discussion, Light Angst, Boxing & Fisticuffs, Minor Injuries, Blood and Injury, Gay vicar, Original Character(s), Original Character Illness, Magical Theory (Harry Potter), Scars, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Minor Draco Malfoy/ Sexy Tall Vicar, Draco Kisses Someone Briefly That’s All I Promise, Magic/Muggle Relations, Jealousy, Family Drama Series: Part 1 of Modern Love

Summary:

Harry Potter, of all people, knows that life isn’t always fair. And no one gets to be happy all of the time. But surely there’s something more—something better—than a rubbish Ministry job, and a lonely old house, and that feeling that everyone out there is doing a better job of living than Harry is.

And it really doesn’t seem fair that Draco Malfoy is back in Harry’s life, all of a sudden, and even though he’s wandless, and living with Muggles, and making his mother cry with his lifestyle choices, he’s happy. So what’s he doing right, that Harry isn’t?

Because things don’t really change, do they? And if Harry can’t be happy, he’ll settle for a good night’s sleep, some posh antiques, and the opportunity to find out what Malfoy has been up to for all these years.

And that’s what starts it all.

Excerpt:

“Do you know,” he says conversationally, “when I was little, my mother used to wash my hair for me.”

“I did not know that,” Harry says gravely. “Though I can’t say I’m surprised. It was always particularly glossy-looking when we were at school.”

The disadvantage of Malfoy being so close, Harry discovers, is that it’s easy for him to find the softest bit of Harry’s tummy to pinch.

“I was actually quite a cosseted child. Spoiled rotten in fact. You may find that astonishing when you consider what a delight I was as a teenager. But my parents were busy people. My father ran the estate, and spent a lot of time in London, of course. So I didn’t see them much in the evenings. The nursery was in its own wing, naturally, and my nanny was very attentive.“

Harry snorts at that, but then thinks about tiny Draco with his face upturned toward Lucius, alight with worship, and feels a bit sad.

"So it was my favourite thing when I was small, having my mother give me a bath. It was always a very special treat. She’d sit on the floor with her sleeves rolled up and the front of her robes would get all wet and foamy from me splashing, but she never minded. And she’d keep spelling the water hot so I could stay in for as long as I wanted.”

Harry can’t imagine it. He vaguely remembers when he was tiny, standing shivering in the Dursleys’ avocado-coloured bath while Petunia sprayed him with tepid water from the shower head, scrubbed him with carbolic soap. And then after a while, she stopped even doing that. Harry used to sneak in and wash when no one noticed, used to pile his clothes in with the rest of the laundry, since he was the one doing it anyway. But he knows that as a child he was probably never all that clean. How did no one ever notice, he wonders, not for the first time. Why did no one care?

“And when I was tired and wanted to get out, she’d turn me around with my back to the edge—” Harry hears the snap of a bottle lid, smells something fresh and sharp, like the crush of sun-hot meadow grass (like Malfoy, he thinks) “—and she’d wash my hair for me.”

Then Malfoy’s hand is on Harry’s hair, and he starts to rub gentle, workmanlike circles from Harry’s crown down to his nape. He pulls his other hand back from around Harry’s body, though he stays close enough that Harry can still feel him against his back, and then he starts to work through Harry’s hair with both hands. His fingers are strong, raising bubbles at Harry’s temples, moving with pure intent through the curls that are flattened and lengthened by water, resting at his nape for a moment, gathering the curls in his fist then releasing them as he lathers, sluices, strokes.

It’s all Harry can do to keep quiet. Having Malfoy touch him like this—having anyone touch him like this—feels like too much. No one has ever laid hands on him like this, with such focus, like he’s the only thing that matters.

And he thinks of Narcissa crying at Andy’s kitchen table all those months ago, and how he had wondered why anyone would want to cry over Malfoy, of all people. How stupid he had been, how stupid and short-sighted, to think that Malfoy was unlovable just because Harry had him all neatly tidied away in his mind, relegated to uselessness by some weird little childhood rivalry. 

Malfoy is probably the most lovable person Harry can think of, it turns out—he just hadn’t known it before. And in the end, it was just a case of Malfoy deciding to let Harry love him, that was all. Once Malfoy made that decision, there was nothing Harry could have done.

And now he knows how Narcissa feels, because his eyes are smarting with the sour threat of unshed tears. He wants to cry over arguing with Malfoy, who is one of his best friends and who he’s pretty sure he’d do anything for, and when did that even happen?

Malfoy’s hands are still in Harry’s hair, and the lather is sliding down Harry’s body to puddle at their feet, and he doesn’t think anything has ever felt quite so intimate as the insistent pressure of Malfoy’s fingers on the hidden curves of bone behind Harry’s ears. Malfoy keeps talking.

“She was so gentle with me,” he says. His voice is nearly a whisper, but his mouth is so close to Harry’s ear that every word carries over the water. “She used to say, ‘I’ll take care of you, sweetheart. I’ll take care of you.’” 

He tugs his fingers through the lengths of Harry’s hair, lets the water rinse him clean, then lets his hands fall to Harry’s shoulders, his thumbs moving in restless circles over the notches of Harry’s spine.

“I’ll take care of you, sweetheart,” he says again, and it means something different this time—something for the now, rather than an echo of the past—and Harry hadn’t realised how long he’d been waiting to hear that. Usually, taking care of Harry is a duty. And some people hated him for it, and even the people who didn’t ended up getting hurt, dying.

Malfoy says it like it’s easy, like it’s a gift. Like it’s not a chore at all, just a simple pleasure.

Harry lets his head fall back onto Malfoy’s shoulder, so Malfoy’s face fits snug in the curve of Harry’s throat, and Malfoy’s arms drop down to fit around Harry’s waist again. Harry isn’t sure how long they stay there, but the water starts to run cool, and the creaking pipes make a resentful thumping sound when Harry fiddles with the dial to turn the heat up.

“When I came into the shower,” Malfoy murmurs, “I was going to kiss you.”

And Harry’s blood does that dizzying swoop that sometimes happens around Malfoy, only this time it all rushes straight to his wet naked cock, and he’s hard and getting harder at just the thought of a kiss, and he wonders distantly if instead of being mad about Malfoy, he’s just going a bit mad in general. It’s been a while since he’s been with anyone, after all. And it’s been even longer than that again since he’s been with someone he likes so much.

“Only I thought…” Malfoy’s low, amused voice is a torture device this close to his ear. “I thought if I kissed you, we would probably end up fucking, Which… you know. It might not be such a bad thing, to get it out of our systems. Right? And it would probably be really good.”

“Thanks,” Harry says distantly, absurdly.

“For you Potter, because it would be sex with me, please keep up. But then I got in here with you and I ended up talking about my fucking mother to you, telling you things I’ve never told anyone, and I could feel you getting all tense and weird about how those arsehole Muggles of yours never took care of you, let alone that prick Dumbledore who at least was supposed to be one of the good guys.”

He sighs again, moves his face away from where he’s still nuzzling Harry’s neck, and hooks his chin over Harry’s shoulder. His arms tighten around Harry’s middle.

“And I remembered that sex is easy. It’s so fucking easy, and because it would be good, it might feel like the right thing to do. But we’ve worked so hard at this, haven’t we? Yeah, I know it’s a horror to have to talk about it, but fuck it. We’re friends now, but it took so long to get here. Have you ever had to work so hard at something before?“

“Well. I mean, I did have to kill Voldemort when I was seventeen?”

“I’m including that, and I’m including your opening waltz at the Yule Ball because that was a study in despair for all concerned, including those of us who had to sit through it. Look, we took a while to get here, is what I’m saying. It probably felt like a terrible idea most of the time we were doing it. God, remember that first time at Fand’s? The first time my friends found out about you? Weasley’s birthday party? But then I didn’t even notice when the you part of it all started being something easy. And if we kiss, we have to figure the whole thing out again. So now I don’t know what to do. Because…” —the ghost of a hot breath against Harry’s ear, and the shivery feeling of Malfoy’s mouth moving close enough to touch Harry’s skin— “… I would really like to kiss you now, and I don’t know how to feel about that.”

( •ॢ◡-ॢ)-♡*✲ﾟ*｡⋆♡ོ

[thesmokingguns]

Wendy and The Lost Boys Chapter 10

He was going to have to wake her up soon so that they would make the plane ride back to Los Angeles but she was asleep on top of him, her head on his chest and seemed so at peace that he couldn’t be the monster to wake her up. Plus he had been true to his word and she had only fallen asleep a couple hours ago. She shifted slightly, her hands sliding up and resting in his hair. Nikki was feeling sentimental with her laying on him and not the usual claustrophobia of being with someone. How was he going to move in with Lita when he had just had a night like that with Sasha? She had done something impossible by having him feel relaxed and like himself. He didn't have to think of the right responses or put on this rock and roll persona. She wanted him as he was, with or without the frills. It was this refreshing realization that he didn’t have to try with Sasha to be anyone but who he was. He could talk to her about things outside of music and he liked having that. A soft yawn took him out of his thoughts and he saw her smiling up at him.

“I fell asleep.” She said it was obvious but he still nodded his head, his fingers running through her blonde hair, “One more shower together and then we can get on the plane?” Nikki grinned, liking how he thought and practically dragging her to the bathroom.

For most of the flight Nikki had watched amused as Sasha shifted in her seat trying to get comfortable but not being able to find the sweet spot. She was wearing one of his shirts, a jean jacket, her eyes hidden under sunglasses, white socks, keds, and a deep burgundy lipstick. He watched her head to the bathroom for what felt like the seventh time of the flight and decided he better check on her to make sure that she was okay. He did a quick glance around and saw Tommy had passed out on Mick’s shoulder which would be a huge issue if Mick wasn’t also fast asleep. However, Vince’s eyes were following him with a smile on his face as he saw what Nikki was going to do.

“Are you okay, angel?” he asked as he knocked on the door. She reached out a hand pulling him into the small space. Nikki nearly fell over but there wasn't even enough space to do that. She gave him a look and he smiled at her, “Did you set up a plan to lure me in here?” he asked, smiling as he leaned down to kiss her. Her hands were around him as they kissed and when they pulled apart she was holding the bandana he had been wearing. She tied it around her to cover some of the bruises that he had left all along her neck. Nikki wished she’d leave them uncovered, he liked looking across and seeing her fingers absentmindedly touching the places he had been kissing last night.

“As much as I would like to fist fight your girlfriend at the airport, I don’t think it would be a fair fight since someone didn’t let me sleep last night.” He didn't like her bringing up Lita but it was the reality of the situation they’d be going into. Nikki lifted her up pressing her against the wall easily. “We land in a half hour so you have ten minutes to get us into the mile high club, Sixx.” she said with a smile. He didn’t need her to say another thing about that.

Sasha had expected to see Lita at the airport and she was very surprised to see Len standing with a bouquet of roses, shifting from foot to foot as he waited for what she expected was her. When he caught sight of her he did a wave, hoping she’d notice him and come over. She had wanted to turn to look at NIkki and see his reaction but she just made her way over to him, letting him wrap her in a hug, wondering if he could smell Nikki all over her.

“Sugar Pie, I’m so glad you’re back. I hope you don’t mind but I asked your mother where you were and she told me about you flying back in.” he was looking at her with these clear eyes that made her almost feel guilty about the last 24 hours she had. He pressed the flowers into her hand, leaning in to whisper, “Can we go and talk somewhere? I think we need to open up about a few things.” her eyebrow shot up wondering what the hell that could mean but she just nodded her head. He must know about her and Nikki if he was talking about opening up about things.

“Yo, Sasha.” she turned to see Tommy waving at her as he walked over. He gave Len a nod in acknowledgment, “Lita and NIkki just moved into a place in Coldwater Canyon and they’re having a housewarming party at 8. You both better be there.” he gave her a look and she knew that she’d have to go. She thought about turning and saying bye to everyone but she already knew that when she turned around she'd see Nikki and Lita and she wasn’t strong enough to have to see that twice in one day.

Sasha was drinking her coffee feeling like she couldn’t fully process what Len was asking her and telling her. She didn’t know if it was the lack of sleep or just how crazy everything was but she couldn’t make sense of what he was exposing to her. She was sitting at his kitchen table in the huge three bedroom apartment his parents had in the city. The place he had just asked her to move into with him as part of this whole elaborate plan for the next few years until she graduated college and possibly after that. It wasn’t that she didn’t understand the plan but she didn’t get why he was so sure she was going to go along with it or why she was thinking about how she was going to go along with it. It would be the perfect cover with everything with Nikki. She wouldn’t have to do anything with Len but would have the cover of a boyfriend but the freedom to be with the bassist on the down low. All she had to do was accept all the perks of being his girlfriend without sleeping with him. She would be dating one of the most eligible bachelors from an old money family. She would have to go out to dinners with him and to family events where they would be playing the young couple in love. The weird pressure from her sorority sisters who all wanted her to graduate with her WIFE degree would be put to rest if she dated him long term. She would have to go out with him more and she had the option of moving out of her sorority or living there until she graduated so there was some choice in the matter.

“Are you okay? I think I broke you. You look blank.” Len touched her hand and she looked up giving him a smile. He had definitely overloaded her. She sipped her coffee and just nodded her head. Leaning back she looked at the person in front of her. Len was the blonde haired rich kid who was always dressed in what seemed like brand new clothes.

“You’re gay and you need to date me so that you keep up appearances?” She was clarifying what he was saying to her. He nodded his head, anxiety seemed to be written on his face. Sasha knew that this wasn’t an easy thing that he was asking and it was hard for him to open up. There was nothing for her to lose and she did like Len a lot as a person. “And I can’t tell anyone, not even Nikki?” She asked . There was a flash of uneasiness on his face as he shook his head at her.

“Not now. If he gets drunk or he gets mad at you and says anything my life would be over. Maybe in a year or so if something goes on but not right now.” Sasha nodded, reaching out to hold his hand, giving Len a smile.

“Okay, baby. When can I move in?” She asked, the visible relief on Len’s face made it worth it for her. He’d be able to live his life as long as he had her to keep up the front with him. Being able to now feel safe was something that he hadn’t felt in a long time.

“I’m going to be the best fake boyfriend you’ve ever had.” She laughed as he hugged her tight. “We need to have dinner with my parents tonight but then we’ll go to the party after. “ she just nodded her head in understanding. Part of her was glad she’d have someone to show up to the party with. She’d need to be all over Len tonight to throw Lita off. She knew Nikki was going to be pissed and part of her was glad. There was nothing like giving him a taste of his own medicine.

Nikki watched the string of people move into the apartment he now lived with Lita. She had been pretty pissed about Sasha answering the phone in his hotel room and they had a pretty big screaming match on the ride home. He might have made the mistake telling her that he didn’t even want to date anyone but that had just made her get really quiet. She had given him a look at that point trying to decide if it was worth it to fight over Tommy’s sister, who wasn’t going anywhere and who he was insisting that he didn’t fuck.

Just thinking about Sasha made his head spin. How the fuck had the last 24 hours just changed his opinions on pretty much everything he believed? As if on cue he saw the blonde walking up the driveway, she had on a white suit with her jacket open showing off a lace bra. She stopped to light a cigarette at the end of the driveway, seeming to take in the new apartment which was a major upgrade. Nikki frowned as she saw Len come up behind her, they laughed about something together and moved inside.

He made himself finish his beer before heading inside, telling himself that he wasn’t going to look for Sasha but his eyes were running around the rooom for her. He almost threw up seeing her in front of Lita, Len was handing her a bag as the bassist rushed over to them. They all gave him a confused look at why Nikki looked like he had been running.

“Congrats on the new place, man.” Len reached out his hand to shake Nikki’s. “We were actually just inviting  Lita and you to dinner on Friday. We’re having a small dinner party in our new apartment.” That’s when Nikki actually got to look at her. Sasha was wearing what looked like Len’s suit with a white bra under it. Her blond hair pulled back in a tight ponytail. She also had a scarf on, which hid most of the hickeys he had left on her. He wished she was here with him; he’d pull off that scarf and show everyone who she belonged to. It freaked Nikki out how possessive he felt about her and how badly he wanted to show her off. He was always dominant but never selfish like this.

“I’m going to cook Friday so I’d recommend getting pizza before you come over.” She teased making a joke at her own expense. Nikki snorted, burying his face in his drink as he remembered her setting the kitchen on fire trying to cook eggs last summer. He had to spray the foam over the stove, which was ruined after that point, to get the flames to stop.

“That’s going to be an interesting dinner.” Nikki said, tossing his arm around Lita’s shoulder. He had watched the way Len had worked his hand under Sasha’s jacket and rested it on her stomach. HIs fingers seemed comfortable skimming her hip and touching her in a way he wished he was doing. He gave her a look, knowing Lita couldn’t see it, and frowned watching her wrap herself around the man she was with as if he hadn’t been fucking her on a plane hours before.

“We just stopped by to give you a house warming gift and to invite you Friday but we have-“

“Sasha!!!” She cursed, seeing Tommy walking over towards them, pushing his way past people to find her, “I’m so glad you came with your boyfriend! Mom told me you’re moving in together and I have to come to dinner Friday in a clean shirt.” He was grabbing her away from everyone before she could figure out what was going on. She was thankful when Len grabbed her, making Tommy stop dragging her away.

“Sugar pie, we have brunch in the morning.” Len knew Sasha didn’t want to be at the party for a long time because being around Nikki and Lita together was a bit much for her to see. They had only invited them to dinner to make sure everyone saw her with Len and to give them a stronger cover story with everything. Unfortunately, Tommy and Nikki both didn’t like seeing someone tell Sasha no. Even though Len was just holding her forearm lightly the fact he had reached out and grabbed her didn’t sit well with either of the men .

“You’re right-“

“Let her go.” She was going to kill Nikki for speaking. Instead of smacking him, like she wanted to, she needed to put on a fun smile laughing like the boys were just being silly because Lita was currently giving the bassist a confused look as to why he had let go of her to go to some other girl's rescue. Sasha spun away from them linking her arms with Lita, trying to not feel like a piece of shit for having slept with her boyfriend. The move surprised everyone and all the guys didn’t know what was about to happen.

“Why don’t we go have a drink together and make sure Vince isn’t bothering your friends? The boys obviously need to have a dick measuring contest.” She was guiding the woman back to her apartment from where they were standing in the front yard. This night was going to be very long if she didn’t start drinking soon.

What made her night harder was how much she realized she liked Lita and how easily the two women got along with each other. Sasha had gotten her away from the guys who were bound to blow the situation up and started talking to Lita about everything. They had a similar taste in clothes and music. They found themselves getting to know each other and finding common ground. The pair of women had gotten very drunk in this process and were stumbling around the party together hand and hand.

“Nikki kept telling me you were like the band's little sister but you’re so pretty so I didn’t believe him. But I feel you’re my little sister now.” Lita said, kissing her forehead. Sasha needed to get the fuck out of there. Her guilt was going to come out soon, probably in her hysterically sobbing, “I love Nikki. Do you know he’s my first love?” Lita said and now she was feeling even worse about everything.

“Don’t love Nikki. He only loves himself and the band.” Sasha warned her, her eyes caught Sixx through the crowd and she felt like she could punch him right now.  As if he knew someone was looking at him he turned to see the look she was giving him. Her blue eyes were sad, even from across the room he could see it. He felt like a monster having her here with the woman that he was living with. He knew that Sasha cared about him and that even though she talked like she was fine with everything her feelings were hurt.

“You’re right. All musicians love their bands more than their girlfriends. But we have dreams. Dreams were both going to live. I think he’s really going to stick with me.” Lita was rambling and Sasha was wondering if she would die if she jumped off the roof. She needed something guaranteed to make her guilt stop and just getting a broken leg wasn’t going to cut it. “Do you love Len?” Lita asked her, turning and giving her a look that left really no other way for the question to be answered. All she could think about was Nikki. She looked at her drink, as if she found that interesting all of a sudden.

“I feel safe with him. Like when we are laying in bed and I can hear his heartbeat I feel safe like that's where home is. Wherever he is and I can sleep and not have to worry about having nightmares before he’s like my own personal dream catcher. Or when we go out I know it’s going to be fun and I’m going to be okay. And when he kisses me it’s the only time my mind stops running at a million miles a minute and I can just feel. And he never wants to be vulnerable or weak but sometimes I feel like when he’s wrapped up in my arms he feels safe there and he can just rest. So maybe I am in love with him.” Sasha looked up to see Lita staring at her with Nikki beside his girlfriend, his green eyes seeming to burn into her. Her heart was in her throat and she was going to puke all over the nice living room from the way that her nerves were frazzled.

“I love you too, sugar pie.” Len was wrapping an arm around her like the hero that he was; when he saw Nikki moving toward her and Lita he wanted to act as a buffer. He was pressing his lips to hers to take her attention away from the other man and make it seem like they were in love. “Why don’t we get you home now?” He asked, he could see that she was going to cry and if they were in this fake relationship together he knew it was his job to get her out of there. She could vaguely hear him saying goodbye to everyone for them as he weaved them out of the apartment. She was never going to drink with that woman again and she was going to steer clear of Sixx.

Nikki woke up on the couch in a vaguely familiar apartment. It took him a second to realize that this was his new place and the living room. He had been “accidentally” falling asleep out here for the past week. After the party, where he was pretty sure Sasha had said she loved him, In her typical fashion she had vanished after that declaration and he hadn’t seen her since. But it was the Friday of her dinner party and he knew that she would have to see him tonight. The problem with seeing her was he had no idea what he was going to say to her. Was what happened in Canada a one time thing? She would be back in school in a couple months to start her second year and he knew she had a lot of growing up to do but he was suddenly thinking about how he wanted to be around for that instead of letting her explore.

“No one is going to believe I cooked all of this.” Sasha said as she moved around the kitchen and turned so Len could zip up the cocktail dress he had helped her pick out. It had mesh sleeves and was tight to below her hips where it had three tiers of ruffled. She had spent the week trying new recipes from a mix of magazine and cookbooks so everything would be perfect; their lives were really blending together at this party. From their parents to their school friends to the  band it was going to be quite the collection. “Can you start making cocktails? I’m going to start putting the appetizers out. I think people will arrive soon.” It was strange how well her and Len adapted to domestic life together. Understanding what they had and what they were made them a lot closer.

The spare bedroom was where Sasha was sleeping in the house. Even though she had nightmares or a hard time sleeping alone it was important to her that she get a space where she could be alone and Len needed to have his own space too.Getting to know each other on an even deeper level had them falling into a domestic pattern. Sharing the house and not having time to be fully alone wasn’t awkward but actually both of them thrived. It was like two best friends who just wanted the other to be happy and to have fun.

The doorbell rang as Sasha set down the platter on one of their coffee tables. Len gave her a look to make sure she was ready before he headed to let in their first guests. She was smoothing out her dress, hoping that the night would go okay. In the back of her mind she was hoping that Nikki didn’t show up and make this dinner harder. Even though he was invited she hoped he had the sense to stay away.

“Hi Lita, Hey Nikki. So glad you guys could make it!” She turned to see the pair walk in. Lita was smiling as she walked over to Sasha, giving her a hug but she was looking past her to where Nikki was. She couldn’t help but smile seeing he was wearing leather pants with a white button down that looked like he had hastily tried to tuck in and a skinny tie loose. Part of her wanted to go over, straighten out his tie and let him know how good he looked but she reeled herself in to the reality of the situation

“Hey, can I take your jacket. I’m going to put jackets and bags in the spare bedroom.” She felt stupid saying a spare bedroom after having the summer where she shared a room with Tommy. It all just felt out of the norm.

“Can you show me the bathroom?” He just wanted to have a second alone with her. Nikki was surprised to see a slight hesitation on her face before nodding leading him away from the living room. “Why are you so quiet, Angel?” He touched her wrist feeling her flinch but not letting her go.

“We’re both with people, Nikki. And last time I was with your girlfriend she told me that you were her first love.” She said when they were alone in the bedroom together. He saw her eyes looking at him with hurt and confusion. “I don’t want to be the reason for her first heartbreak.” Nikki looked out as the doorbell rang again and shut the door behind them, turning the lock to give them a couple minutes.

“Why are you being like this?” he was touching her, bringing her closer to him, “I thought we understood each other, Angel?” He was touching her face making her look at him.

“I don’t think you understand me.”  Her words hit him hard and Nikki flinched taking a step back. “I think you want everything and it doesn’t matter who gets hurt. I didn’t realize you were moving in with your girlfriend when we slept together. I didn’t expect her to tell me that you were her first love. I could be with you, just you, and be happy, Nikki, but you’d think being with me was settling and you’d resent me forever.” He didn’t expect this from her. He expected everything to be fine and for them to really consider being with each other, “I think you like that I like you and you like sleeping with me. It’s like you got that notch in your bedpost now and you have someone who can be in your rotation. But I’m not going to be that for you, Sixx.” Her hands were in fists by her side and she was hoping that she wouldn’t start crying. “You knew you were moving in with her and things were serious and you didn’t tell me. You let me think it wasn’t serious.” The guilt was making her feel crazy and she wanted him to have some of it but Nikki wasn’t going to let her project all the blame on him.

“You’re the one who showed up at my door. You’re the one who wore lingerie to the show and told me how fucking wet you were.” He could see the flush of embarrassment on her face as he threw the intimacy between them back at her, “If you didn’t want to sleep with me you shouldn’t have opened your legs so easily.” The way he snarled at her made Sasha feel even worse. If this had been a movie that would have been where she slapped him. Instead she started sobbing covering her face, throwing him completely off balance. The anger vanished as he saw the tears leaking out behind her hands.

“You’re right. I knew you were with her and I still wanted you.” She hiccuped out. Nikki did not like seeing her this upset about something. He wrapped her in his arms letting her lay against his chest as she cried, “I’m sorry.” The fact she was apologizing made everything worse for him. They had done everything together and were both guilty. He wondered why he didn’t feel bad for her way he was but he felt guilt for making her upset.

“I don’t want to fight with you, Angel. Everything happened and I don’t regret it and I don’t want you to either.” He was holding her close to him wishing that it was then living together in this apartment. He could picture a whole life with her but he didn’t know how to start it, “We should go back out there.” He knew it was a stupid thing to say as soon as she stepped back and looked at him. But she just nodded, wiping her eyes.

“Yeah, I’ll meet you out there in a minute.” She gave him a weak smile and he frowned as she sat at the vanity opening a drawer and starting to do her makeup. If this was the guest bedroom why would her stuff be in here? The wheels on his head were turning as he tried to figure out what situation the girl was in. His jealousy of her living with another man making the situation peek even higher.

“Are you really dating him?” She looked at him through the mirror almost frozen by the question. Nikki stepped forward sitting on the bed behind her. Sasha chose to ignore his question as she lined her eyes once more, “I asked you a question, Angel.” She could see the way his eyes were narrowed and the anger was rising in her stomach again. She hated when he spoke to her like he had some command over her. Even though she liked the way Nikki could take control of situations she felt like he wanted more control over her and wanted more from her when he never seemed to want to give an inch.

“Yes, He is my boyfriend and we live together. You’re here for our housewarming dinner party.” That much was true. She could see the way he was trying to make sense of something. “Are you really dating Lita?” She asked thinking two could play this game but Nikki wasn’t buying into this. He stood up moving to the closet, opening it to see her clothing inside, “What are you doing?” She asked, trying to seem like what he was doing was stranger than all her things being in this room. Nikki was moving on now, he reached under the bed pulling out a notebook, book and a pair of her signature white shoes. Sasha was standing up now, hands on her hips as she watched him dig into things.

“If you’re dating him why do you have separate bedrooms?” His eyes were blazing as he looked at her, wanting to know what was going on between her and Len. “Tell me what’s going on with you and him because it’s been driving me crazy all week knowing you’re moving in with some guy.” Her face softened slightly when he said it was driving him crazy but she wasn’t going to fold that easily.

“Nikki, we need to get out of this room. Your girlfriend and my boyfriend are probably wondering what’s taking us so long. Plus, Lenny and I have other guests coming.” The way she had a new nickname for him made the bassists eyes narrow. He wanted answers to his questions. Sasha was unlocking the door but before she could open it Nikki was pressed up against her. The feeling of his body firm behind her making her forget how to breathe for a second.

“In a few years, Angel, it’s going to be our housewarming party. So make sure you get all the practice tonight so you’re ready for it.” He kissed below her ear on the soft spot of her neck before reaching around her to open up the door, “Go play hostess. I’ll be there soon.” She didn’t even bother turning to look at him only heading back to the living room with the thought that he wanted a future with her playing in her mind over and over again.

Nikki was getting drunk. When he finally reappeared into the living room again he saw a full living room of people. Sasha was talking to Tommy and her parents, that pest of a fucking boyfriend, holding her elbow and laughing with them about something. Lita was with Tommy and a few of the girls that Sasha went to school together. Everyone seemed to be happy to be there to support the young couple and it made him absolutely sick.

He moved over to the bar cart pouring himself three fingers of Jack Daniels. The bottle wasn’t open and he wondered if she had made sure it was there for him. He walked over to Lita, passing Sasha and letting his hand slide across her back, watching amused as she gave him a side eye look before going back to her conversation. Lita smiled at him when he came to her side and he felt a bit of guilt, he needed to do the right thing in this situation. It was hard because she wasn’t a bad person and they could get along really well.

“Can you believe she went from living in the apartment with us to this in one year? What a serious upgrade.” Tommy said, elbowing his friend. Nikki sipped his drink heavily. Once they got paid for their music he was going to buy the biggest house they had ever seen. He’d have a maze of rooms and that would be the upgrade that she deserved. He could imagine her running through the halls barefoot as he chased her threatening to throw her in the pool when he caught her.

“When we all make it big we can have a house that will fit this apartment in it.” Lita grabbed his arms when she said this and it took him a second to realize that she was talking to him. Tommy gave him a look making him realize that he was supposed to say something to follow that up with.

“I’m sure you’ll have a great house, Lita.” Nikki said pulling slightly away to go fill up his drink again. He saw the hurt flash across her face but he had so much that he was thinking about that he didn’t even care about it. His plan was just to get shitfaced drunk to make it through the night because without that he wasn’t going to survive.

Sasha glanced up looking at Nikki who had made it through the complete bottle of Jack Daniels by dessert. She could see Lita giving him these looks all through the meal as well as Tommy looking between the two of them. Obviously something was going on between them that she had missed. The parents had all left after dessert leaving just the younger kids to have some after dinner drinks and talk. She was sitting between a pair of her sorority sisters when Lita sat down giving the girls all a smile. Sasha made introductions and she felt all the eyes suddenly on her.

“You date the Nikki?” her friend asked Lita making Sasha’s stomach drop. She buried her face into the wine glass wondering how she could get out of this conversation, “And you’re friends with Sasha?” well this conversation wasn’t going to go well. She was trying to look past the girls and catch anyone eyes but all the guys were having some stupid bro chat and she couldn’t seem to meet a single pair of eyes. Except of course Nikki’s. He was staring at her so openly that she knew if anyone saw him they would be able to see. When she met his eyes he sipped his drink, still frowning and staring.

“The Nikki? Quite the title for Mr. Sixx.” laughed Lita but she was looking at Sasha now knowing that in girl talk a lot had been spoken just by adding the before his name, “We just moved in together and he was talking to my dad a few days ago so we all know what that means.” the excited chatter started and Sasha looked at the woman now confused. Did she think that Nikki was really going to propose to her or was she saying this to get some weird sort of control over the conversation. The girls all turned to look at Nikki who seemed surprised to have so many eyes on him from across the room. His eyes left Sasha and he was standing walking over to them. This catching the eyes of some of the guys, thankfully Tommy being one of them.

“Are you girls talking about me?” he asked plopping down on the couch and throwing his arms around Lita’s shoulders as well at the girl on his other side. Everyone kind of shifted nervously, smiles playing on their face, “I want to know what everyone had to say.” He watched the way Sasha finished off her wine reaching forward and dumping the rest of the bottle into the empty cup. Tommy sat besides Sasha ready to intervene in case this started to go badly. There was this tension building as Nikki waited to hear about what everyone was saying about him.

“We were all talking about marriage and what our weddings would be like.” Sasha said sipping her wine, “And what our perfect proposals would be.” she added, crossing her legs. She wished Nikki would stop staring at her like that. It was giving away everything and he wasn’t helping the situation.

“Well why don't you girls all give me some tips on how to give a girl the perfect proposal?” His heart was beating and he could see the way everyone was giving Lita these looks. What the hell had they been talking about before he had walked over to them? A realization was suddenly dawning on him as he realized that they thought he was going to be marrying the girl he was dating. HIs eyebrows raised, “Not that I am going to get married anytime soon. That’s going to be saved for the late 80’s.” he joked so easily about these things without knowing that Lita had just said she was sure he would be proposing soon. All that was playing in Nikki’s head was how he could imagine being with Sasha, “Aren’t we all too young to fall in love?. Even if we know who we’re going to end up with there’s no need to .” she wouldn’t make eye contact with him because she could feel eyes on her and was uncomfortable with it.

“I don’t think we’re too young to fall in love.” Len was suddenly behind Sasha, his hand sliding onto her shoulder, “I love Sasha and after we graduate I hope we can get married and start our careers and possibly a family together. You can’t put a timeline on love, Nikki.” his hand laced with hers and she could feel the smile blooming on her face. It was nice to hear someone say all the right things even if it wasn’t true.

People started to leave shortly after and Sasha had stayed close to Len for the rest of the night, wanting to make sure they were seen together as a couple. The shit Nikki had been pulling all night was making her annoyed. He could really talk a big game but he never wanted to commit to her in a way she craved. Finally she saw them headed for the door, Lita not bothering to say goodbye as she walked out.  Nikki licked his lips, stopping at the door as if he was thinking about what to do next. The only other person still there was Tommy, who was staying the night. He was currently in the den being shown the sound system that Len had gotten installed a few days before.

“I’m sorry about tonight, angel.” he had gathered the courage to say goodbye to her. It was obvious that she was mad at him. Sasha gave him a look turning to stack a few empty platters, moving to the kitchen, “Please, don’t be like this.” she threw the platters down turning on him now in a full rage.

“Get out.” she pointed to the door. His mouth opened and closed. “Get the fuck out.” the way she was looking at him made him realize that she wasn’t joking around but she was actually really upset with him.

“Angel-”

“GET THE FUCK OUT.” She pushed his chest trying to get him to the door, tears stinging her eyes for the second time tonight. “You come in here and you act like an asshole. You make me the asshole along with you and I’m done with it. I’m done with you. I’m done feeling like this and being treated like this. You’re all smoke and no fire. You’re so used to writing songs and creating this fantasy it’s like you don’t understand how to actually be a person and live that life. It’s pathetic.” she had these tears falling down her face as she shook her head at him, “So get out, Nikki. Go be with your girlfriend and just let me try to be happy.” she was serious about what she was saying to him and it was clear that she wasn’t just emotional and mad at the moment. This had been almost a year of what felt like emotional torture and she was ready to break this cycle.

Nikki was searching her face hoping that she would just fall into his arms and cry well he figured out how to fix it. She was far enough away from him that he couldn’t just reach out and draw her into him. The way she was looking at him and what she had just said to him made it clear that this was it and he needed to go. He threw up his hands, the defeat clear on his face. He wasn’t going to get the girl in the end and he had done it to himself by creating these rules for himself and her that they couldn’t follow. Everything that happened was because he had wanted everything and now he realized that he wouldn't get that. She watched him walk out the door, locking it behind him before sliding down and letting herself cry.

[miskatonique]

HERBERT WEST CHEAT SHEET !

since my muses are not super well known in the contemporary rpc ( and i’m too lazy to do a full about page at this very moment ) i decided to put together little posts for them that give their general backgrounds, vibes, and plot possibilities !

this is a mix of canon and headcanon, and these are subject to change / adapt as i get more used to writing the characters

BACKGROUND:

Films: Re-Animator 1985, Bride of Re-Animator 1990, Beyond Re-Animator 2003

We don’t talk about Beyond Re-Animator......

Dr. Herbert West, 24 in the first movie, 27 in the second movie, idk like 40 in the third movie. Mad scientist to the MAX. In the novelization Herbert is an orphan who gets passed around in foster homes before eventually going to undergrad at NYU and pursuing his theory about the re-animation of dead tissue. Mostly people think he’s sort of crazy until one of his articles catches the eye of Dr. Hans Gruber at a university in Switzerland, and he invites Herbert to come work alongside him. Herbert eventually grows to respect Gruber as both a mentor and father-figure.

Herbert and Gruber develop a reagent that affects re-animation in dead animal tissue but they know that for their results to be taken seriously they need to do a human trial. Dr. Gruber volunteers but the dosage of the reagent is too large, and though it brings Gruber back to life it quickly overwhelms his system and he dies again. Herbert is taken into psychiatric custody in Switzerland but is eventually released.

Herbert returns to America and specifically sets his sights on Miskatonic Medical School in Arkham, Massachusetts because one of the staff, Dr. Carl Hill, used to work with Gruber years ago, and even went on to plagiarize some of Gruber’s work and publish it in America. Herbert makes it his secondary goal to absolutely terrorize Dr. Hill, and because he’s a chaotic gremlin in human form he’s very good at it.

Herbert continues working on perfecting the reagent, rooming with Dan Cain and eventually pulling Dan into the experiments as well when Dan’s cat dies and Herbert is able to prove his research by reanimating it. Herbert isn’t perturbed when Dan’s talk with Dean Halsey goes south, and just digs his heels in and insists that the only way to truly prove that the reagent works is to reanimate a human cadaver.

Results are just as bad as you’d expect. Sure, the cadaver reanimates but it also wrecks the morgue and kills Dean Halsey. RIP. Herbert insists that they reanimate him and the dean comes back less like himself and more animalistic, trying to kill both Herbert and Dan before his daughter Meg shows up and stops him. Despite it all, Herbert manages to wriggle his and Dan out of any suspicion from the police but Dr. Hill takes an interest in Herbert’s work once he does exploratory surgery of Dean Halsey and finds out he’s technically dead.

Dr. Hill confronts Herbert in his laboratory and threatens to steal Herbert’s work and take it for his own, offering Herbert the meager honour of being his assistant. Herbert promptly murders Hill via decapitation but decides not to let his fresh corpse go to waste and reanimates both Hill’s head and his body, which come back to life and knock Herbert out and steal all of his work.

Yada yada, Herbert gets Dan to help him go after Hill, the big climax happens. Herbert is able to prove his theory about overdose by shooting up Dr. Hill’s headless body with a bunch of reagent, which backfires and Herbert is left for dead all tangled up in Hill’s intestines, but not after he ensures that his research is safe with Dan.

They never explain how Herbert survives the first movie but he sure is alive in the second movie! It’s roughly 3ish years after the first film, so he’s got his doctorate now and he’s drug Dan all the way to Peru so they can be volunteer medics in a civil war. This obviously gives Herbert an unprecedented access to fresh bodies for his experiments.

Eventually he and Dan head back to Miskatonic Hospital, where they’re able to get jobs and a creepy cute little house that used to be a mortuary so they can continue the work. Herbert is now obsessed with the reanimation of separate parts and convinces Dan to help him build an entirely new life from parts. Dan’s not on board until Herbert shows him Megan Halsey’s heart and promises that they’ll build the body around it.

Dr. Hill’s head also somehow survived the first movie and it tries to terrorize Herbert, along with a cop who’s investigating Herbert for stealing corpses. Herbert eventually kills and reanimates the cop, and then gets into even more trouble when all of the other strange creatures he’s been reanimating start coming after him because they’re being mind controlled by Dr. Hill’s nasty head ( don’t ask me okay, this script was written in literally 6 weeks it makes no sense )

Anyway Herbert and Dan successfully bring their creation to life right before getting attacked by Dr. Hill and his army of weirdos, all while Dan is having a mental breakdown because he thinks the creation is his dead girlfriend Meg. In the chaos Dan and the creation escape separately while Herbert and Hill and co. get trapped under buried rubble and are left for dead ( AGAIN ).

But surprise! Herbert isn’t dead! We don’t know how he survived but we do know that at some point in time Dan turned over evidence to the authorities that led to Herbert’s arrest and imprisonment. The third movie picks up with Herbert who’s been in prison for 13 years and the dumbass new hospital doctor is a fanboy of Herbert and brings in some of his reagent. Herbert basically starts a prison riot, chaos ensues, this movie is Not Good, but the important thing is that Herbert escapes prison with his work and gets to walk off free and definitely alive into the night <3

VIBES / PERSONALITY:

His work is EVERYTHING to him -- there have been multiple times where Herbert has put his work above his own bodily safety or chance of survival, and I guarantee he would do it again, too. Herbert is mostly focused on being able to do the impossible simply because it’s “impossible.” He’s able to convince Dan to help him because he reasons the practical applications of his reagent, like saving lives by aiding in surgeries or helping with amputations, but at the end of the day Herbert is only concerned with discovery, acclaim, and giving classical science a big ‘ole middle finger.

He can be incredibly manipulative when looking for a specific action or behavior in the people close to him. This mostly is seen in how he treats Dan, often reeling him back in with promise of how much good their work will do in the world when Dan starts to get squeamish. Herbert is also really good at finding the sorest spots in someone and pressing on them, but usually only does this when he wants to prove a point or if he really hates someone.

He gains a lot of power by seeming like the more “level-headed” person in an altercation, but he can get extremely excitable or aggressive, especially when something goes well with his research or if it’s being threatened.

He’s genuinely a good doctor, doesn’t freak out under pressure, has neutral-good bedside manner, is very decisive and isn’t afraid to make difficult decisions when it comes to a patient’s life. However, Herbert considers himself a scientist first and a doctor second. The work on reanimation will always come before anything else.

He’s a HUGE fucking nerd, he loves making puns or little zingers whenever he can fit them into a conversation. He also likes playing practical jokes, though he doesn’t do it often. He’s got a great evil giggle.

Oh he’s terrible at taking care of himself. There’s a deleted scene from the first movie where Herbert is shown to be injecting himself with a weakened version of the reanimating reagent because it helps keep his brain sharp and makes it to where he doesn’t have to sleep. What a NUT. I think he probably weans off this habit, by force or choice. His sleeping and eating habits are still pretty bad, though. Definitely the kind of person who doesn’t eat/sleep/rest unless he’s genuinely about to collapse because of it.

Oh he’s also sooooooooooo gay. gay gay gay homo sexual.

There are very few people he outright respects or enjoys spending time around, and with everyone else he is absolutely so bitchy and rude. He doesn’t give a single shit about being polite. Also ACAB.

PLOT POSSIBILITIES:

Got any canonically dead muses? Want them to be alive again? Herbert can help with that! He’ll definitely want to make sure they stick around and observe them to see why the reagent worked so well, maybe do some extra tests, so he can also double as a really annoying, creepy roommate. Score!

Med student muses? I have a new classmate for you

Ever wondered what your muse would do if they saw someone graverobbing, or smuggling body parts into their house in the middle of the night? Do they stop him? Ask questions? Offer to help? Now’s the chance to find out!

He could always use a new assistant since Dan keeps abandoning him after every movie, jfc, loyalty is so hard to find these days

Meet-cute where one of his reanimated creations tries to murder you and he saves you from it <3

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

Hb combining 1 w 37 in which steve (or bucky) is trying to mention that theyre a mobster but get interrupted by the rival gang and they have to run & end up in an alley 👀👀

1.  here’s people chasing us and I pulled you into the alley with me and wow you’re close

37. We’re dating and I didn’t know you were a mobster/biker

Y/N found Steve so peculiar.

This was their fifth date and Steve hadn’t so much as kissed Y/N on the cheek. He’d given her a hug after their second date, but it had been Y/N who even initiated it. Steve had placed his hand protectively on her back on their first date when a homeless man was yelling crazily on the sidewalk and started eyeing Y/N.

However, Y/N wasn’t mad about it. She was just so taken aback from it. Steve acted like men from a time when gentlemen were expected, not a rarity.

She actually preferred this slow burn. It took her awhile to trust people, men especially. Without trust, she wasn’t comfortable with intimacy, particularly physical intimacy.

Y/N just wasn’t sure if she were misreading Steve’s politeness for disinterest. Or maybe he was in the closet still, and refused to realize that maybe women weren’t for him.

But if Steve wasn’t actually interested in her, why had he insisted on taking her to dinner tonight and having their fifth date?

“I was grounded for a month after that. Mom didn’t take too kindly to me beating someone up, even if he was an asshole who was making fun of my best friend for being gay.” She told him with a nostalgic smile. 

Steve looked at her over the candlelit dinner with a amused smirk and pride in his eyes.

“Remind me never to get on your bad side,” he chuckled before taking another sip of his whiskey.

“You? I would never touch a hair on your head.”

His brows raised in surprise. “Yeah? And why is that?”

“You wouldn’t hurt a fly, Steve. I can’t even imagine you losing your temper, let alone getting into a physical fight.”

His amusement dropped for a second. But he kept his cool composure.

“Well, certainly not with you,” was all he answered back. That way he didn’t feel like he was lying. No, he’d never harm her. He struggled with even imagining a scenario where he’d lose his temper with Y/N.

The dinner as a whole was almost comically pleasant and…comfortable. Y/N had never felt that unsureness or awkwardness on any of her dates with Steve that were so common in her dating life.

Steve felt like a friend first, which took all the pressure off for Y/N and made her feel like she could just be herself.

After splitting two different desserts and espresso, the waitress brought the check directly to Steve. He thanked her by using her name, which made Y/N wonder how often he came to this particular restaurant.

Steve never let her pay for literally anything: dinner, drinks, coffee. If he thought it was too late for her to take the subway home alone, he would pay for a taxi or another ride service.

Y/N tried not to let her feminist mind get upset about it. But the way Steve went about it was so smooth and unbothered that she didn’t feel like there was something expected of her in return.

“Thanks for meeting me for dinner,” he told her sweetly as helped with her jacket and lead them to the restaurant’s exit.

“Yeah, my presence is always sought after… you’re lucky I could fit you into my demanding schedule,” she answered back so sarcastically that made him chuckle in return.

When they stepped outside, the most beautiful flurry had started. It didn’t stick to the ground and it didn’t make the air any colder. It just fell like a prop in a movie.

Y/N looked up at the sky and then smiled at Steve.

“You up for a little walk?” She asked, not ready to leave his side quite yet.

There was still so much mystery around him. She needed to solve it before she conjured up any false ideas about him.

He smiled back. “A walk sounds great.”

With Steve’s old-school manners, Y/N half expected him to offer his arm to her. But they simply walked side by side, their hands in the pockets of their coats to keep them warm.

“Are you keeping something from me?” Y/N finally blurted out after they had walked in comfortable silence for some time.

His brow furrowed. “What?”

She stopped walking and turned to face him. “You’re too perfect, Steve. You’re polite. You manage to make me feel like a lady, and just an actual respected human being. You ask me genuine questions. You pay for everything like it’s the 1930s. You haven’t tried to prematurely cop a feel – which I oddly appreciate, by the way.”

She took in a deep breath after she listed everything so quickly. “What’s your flaw, huh?”

Steve just shifted his weight.

“Are you married?”

His eyes widened. “What? No! Of course not.”

“Then do you have a girlfriend?” Y/N countered.

“No, Y/N. I’m not even seeing anyone else. Just you.”

“Are you gay?” Y/N regretted it the moment the words came out of her mouth.

Steve actually laughed at that. “I can assure you that I’m not.”

Y/N was about to continue her interrogation when Steve’s gaze went past her shoulder, clearly catching something behind her.

He muttered a curse under his breath. It was the first time she had ever heard him swear.

Without giving any warning or explanation, Steve quickly grabbed a hold a of her hand and pulled her into the nearest alleyway. Y/N yelped at the surprise of it all.

She was just about to ask what the hell was going on when she realized how close Steve was to her.

Her back was pressed against the cold brick of the building.

Meanwhile, Steve’s face was mere inches from hers.

He had yet to invade her personal space in such a way. And to Y/N’s surprise, her heart was racing from the thrill of it all instead of the anxiety it usually induced when other men did such a thing.

Steve’s eyes flickered to her lips and then dug into her gaze.

How did such a look make Y/N feel more vulnerable than any time she’d ever been naked with a man?

“Sorry–It’s just–I saw someone I knew,” he explained lamely.

Y/N nodded. “Oh, yeah? Ex-girlfriend?”

He didn’t laugh at the joke, just shook his head. “No, no.” Then he winced. “Look, I can’t – I really don’t want to lie to you.”

“Then don’t,” she retorted a bit harshly.

“I haven’t lied to you about who I am. I just conveniently left out a bit about my work.”

Y/N chuckled. “What? Are you gonna now tell me you’re some kind of New York gangster or something?”

Steve didn’t laugh once again. He swallowed. His eyes held all the answers Y/N needed.

“Holy shit,” she gasped. “You are.”

He said nothing.

It made sense, which was why Y/N knew he wasn’t pulling so weird prank on her. The money he seemed to have a plethora of. The suaveness and confident air around him. His perfectly tailored clothes.

This was the thing that made Y/N question his genuineness.

Y/N glanced back out at the sidewalk. “So, who exactly are we hiding from then? A rival gang or some shit?”

“It’s not that simple,” Steve sighed. “My…occupation… makes me more enemies than friends.”

“Did we just avoid a shootout or stabbing?” Y/N almost laughed at how ridiculous the question sounded.

“No, of course not. We’re not sloppy.” Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. “I didn’t-I can’t have them see you. As soon as they get a look at you – or the way I look at you, for that matter – they’ll…” His words died out.

His eyes softened as he stared at her. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I didn’t really know how, to be honest. Most of the women I’ve been with had an idea of who I was before agreeing to a date.”

Y/N put her hand to Steve’s chest and forced him back a few steps.

The new space between them felt like a galaxy. 

“If this isn’t some fucked up joke–”

“It’s no joke, Y/N.” Steve interrupted her.

She took a step away from him, walking backwards slowly but keeping his stare. “So, if I walk away right now…does that end with me at the bottom of the East River?” Her voice was shaking. 

Steve’s face turned crestfallen as he realized that Y/N was now scared of him, even convinced he would kill her.

“Y/N, please believe me…I’d never hurt–I’d never touch you.”

For some reason, she believed him.

But that wasn’t enough.

She started shaking her head, still tiptoeing backwards. “I’m sorry, Steve. I-I can’t.”

“Can’t what?” He challenged.

“I can’t be some mobster wife… or-or-or whatever I’d be to you.”

Steve’s head fell. All his exact fears were coming true. Fears that had grown when he realized he had started falling for Y/N. 

“I understand,” he replied evenly, even though it hurt like hell to say it.

“I’m sorry.” She was at the end of the alley again.

Did the moonlight and flurry have to frame her face so beautifully? Was this his punishment for all the terrible things he’s done?

“You don’t have to keep saying that,” he muttered. “I should be the one apologizing.”

Y/N just nodded shakily. “Goodbye, Steve.”

Then she turned and rounded the corner, leaving the alleyway and Steve’s sight.

He sighed and rubbed his face. His heart was beating so fast that he swore it was starting to hurt. He started pacing in the shadows of the alley, trying to control his emotions.

His back was turned to sidewalk when he heard the click of her heels hurriedly returning.

He whipped around.

And before he could ask her what the hell she was doing, her lips crashed to his.

Steve instantly reciprocated, clutching her face and pulling her even closer

He’d wanted to know what her lips tasted like as soon as he had seen her for the first time. But she scared the hell out of him and he tried to be a patient gentleman.

Y/N’s fingers weaved through his hair, tugging even, and it only drove Steve crazier.

Steve even let her shove him back against the alley wall.

His grip was tight and possessive against her waist.

Y/N couldn’t help but wonder what his grip would feel like against her naked skin.

Then she snapped out of it and quickly broke the kiss.

However, they lingered. Both of them were trying to catch their breath. It was the only sound in the alley. 

Steve pressed his forehead against hers.

And suddenly his hunger turned into a softness, a need for her.

But he knew what this was. And it wasn’t Y/N changing her mind.

“I’m sorry.” Y/N heaved. “I just had to know.”

Then she ripped herself from his arms and left the alley. For good this time.

———————————–

PART TWO

Feedback. Feedback. Feedback. Please. Please. Please. 

***REQUESTS ARE CLOSED***

(My inbox is already overwhelming.)

One-Shots Masterlist

[trekkie-in-space]

KakagaiWeek2020 - Day 1 - Burden

Author : JackB

Title : Taking the Burden

Rating : General Audience.

Words : 2392

Resume : Today it’s Kakashi inauguration as the new Hokage. It doesn’t matter Gai is one week out of the coma, he will attend.

Tag : Gai killed Madara AU, Injury, Long Recovery, Negotiation, talking about death, canon disabled characters, Kakashi sharp nose hc, a bit of angst and a bit of fluff

Prompt : Burden

__

It’s not that Gai was particularly stubborn, it’s just that he had a strong will and enough optimism to last two lifetimes. It also didn’t really matter he had been forbidden from attending Kakashi inauguration as the new Hokage. He would be there without fault.

If they didn’t want him to come, they should have wrapped it up when he was still in the coma. But now he was awake and no matter how weak and frail he felt he would still go. It didn’t matter if he barely managed to push his own wheelchair, it didn’t matter if he still couldn’t stay awake for more than a couple of hours. Those things were not important, it was just details in the end.

Getting out of the hospital without being seen by the doctors and nurses was a detail. None would risk Tsunade wrath if he dared quit the hospital and they would do everything to keep him in. Sneaking past them had been feasible, he wasn’t a jonin for nothing after all. Feasible, but exhausting in itself.

Going down the stairs on the backdoor of his level with his wheelchair had been a detail, and a terrible idea. No matter how slow and gentle he managed to pass each step, the shock would awaken pain in his whole body. He had opened the eight gates, he had defeated Madara. Enduring this pain was a detail, one that left him panting and shaking at the end, sure, but a detail nonetheless.

Pushing his wheelchair through the soft slope until he reached the Konoha’s great hall, had just been another step in his mission. One he wasn’t proud of as he barely had the strength to move. He guesses he underestimated his injuries. Thankfully an old man helped him to the main door. He was grateful for the bandage still covering his whole body and face because he would surely look pallid by now and this kind man would have rushed him back to the hospital in a second if he saw it.

The fresh air still felt good though. Beside the short five minutes walk Tsunade had given him once upon insistent request, he didn’t actually have the right to step a foot outside. Even opening the windows had been strictly controlled. It was all about ‘not getting germs from outside’ and ‘regulated environment for better healing’ or ‘not catching a cold from a damn breeze’. He had argued he was more resistant than that and they could cut him some slack. Tsunade had argued back that, for a fact, he wasn’t as resistant anymore and if he didn’t stop whining she would cut visit too. He didn’t argue for too long, because you just didn’t argue with Tsunade. Or, more likely, because he passed out pretty quickly from the excitement this argument had been. It was easier to think the former than to agree with the latter.

But those were still details in his book, not enough to stop him from attending Kakashi’s inauguration. His struggle might have made him late, but it also meant nobody was here to notice he shouldn’t be here and decide they would send him back to the hospital. Nor was there anyone to see him pathetically push his wheelchair or struggle to open absolutely every door he had to pass through. You would think opening a door in a wheelchair is not that difficult. Well, it is.

With the last shaking strength he had left he pushed himself inside the great hall. All were focused on the scene and didn’t pay attention to him. He didn’t have a great view because everybody was standing, but a kind shinobi noticed him and pushed him inside the crowd to a place that allowed him a better view. It wasn’t great, but at least he could see Tsunade-sama and Kakashi, which, in the end, is the only thing that mattered.

Despite being late the ceremony had barely begun. He focused all his attention on the scene, trying to ignore his shaking body and pushes back the dizziness. He felt awful. But well, the eight gates made it an art form to put everything else into perspective. Relatively nothing could ever be as awful as the eight gates, and if he had managed it back then it meant he could handle anything now.

It was a detail really, and after everything he had done to get there he wouldn’t collapse to exhaustion.

‘Everything I’ve done.’ Not so long ago attending this ceremony wouldn’t have been such a trouble.

___

Kakashi’s senses are awakened in an instant. He wrinkles his nose.

‘No.’

His focus shift entirely out of the ceremony.

‘He dared.’

He immediately walks to Tsunade giving her speech and touches her arm to catch her attention. She turn to him with a smile.

“Oh no, you agreed to take this burden off my hands, it’s too late to flee.. ” She whispers with a grin.

“Gai’s here !” He cut, his throat is dry and he nearly strangles while telling them. He can’t believe it. Tsunade immediately lose her smile.

“No, he can’t. He’s too weak.. ”

“Just picked up his scent.”

He can see her jaws clench and anger rouse in her eyes.

“Maito Gai !” Her tone is so terrifying that nearly everybody tense despite her anger not being directed at them. It’s just instinct.

Shizune in the front row is alert at the instant she hears the name, it’s the same for every medical-nin in the room. They all know about it, it doesn’t matter if they worked on it or not, Maito’s case is so peculiar and exceptional that it’s a recurrent talk among them, there’s so much to learn from it, and they all know he shouldn’t be here. At all.

The crowd is quick to disperse around Gai and in an instant both Tsunade and Kakashi are at his side.

“What are you doing h.. ”

“Why aren’t you in your hospital bed ?” Tsunade tone is severe. She grabbed Gai by the collar and lifted him a bit out of his chair.

Gai let out a whimper, he is barely holding, his limbs shaking to the effort. He closed his eyes an instant, feeling the dizziness come back.

‘No ! Fight it, fight it !’ He opens his eyes and stares back at Tsunade. He wants to give a small apologetic smile but can’t manage it.

At his side Kakashi and Shizune, who looked pissed off at first, are now entirely focused on calming Tsunade. He hates how people see him as fragile now. He is, so it’s fair, but he still doesn’t like it.

Tsunade ignore them and give Gai a small shake. He groans and let out a huff, suddenly afraid to receive a hit because he knows for a fact he wouldn’t be able to survive it. But he also knows she wouldn’t waste all the effort they made to keep him alive to anger.

“Why are you here ?” She knows the answer, they all know the answer, but she still needs to ask.

“Couldn’t miss the new Hokage inauguration.”

“I knew we should have done it before he woke up.” Shizune says with frustration in her voice. Clearly this has been a topic they talked about a lot.

Tsunade very carefully put in back in his chair and he can’t help but grab his chest and give a shaky breath as he settles the dizziness and nausea away. They are surrounded by all the medical-nin, all ready to intervene in case a problem occurs. But Gai would hate to take more of the spotlight than he already does. This had never been his intention. He wanted to be a quiet and proud witness.

“You know you can’t be out. Do you have any idea of the risk you’re taking ? How many infections you can get just by being there ? Your immune system is already on its knees and you’re just adding to it.” She scolds. Behind her Kakashi is weirdly silent, he is not sure if he is worried or angry and Gai doesn’t like it, maybe he is mad. Maybe he would rather not have him around. “Bring him back to his room.” She order a few medical-nin.

“No.” He stops them.

“No ?” Tsunade repeat with a chuckle. Her patience getting thin.

“No ! The risk is already taken, staying won’t add to it.” He stares at her, not backing down, despite the fact she is terrifying.

“He has a point.” Kakashi notice, taking all of Tsunade anger on himself in an instant, he takes a step back just to be careful.

“He doesn’t, risk only go higher the more he stays here. It’s out of question, he belongs in a hospital bed until I say so !” She turn to Gai. “Defeating Madara don’t give you all the right !”

“It was never about that.. ”

“If he stays, we can rush the ceremony.” Kakashi proposes in a whisper.

Tsunade soften to the idea. They both want it done and out of the way as fast as possible and Gai case could allow them to break protocol. Also even if Gai protest would be fruitless in his state, she knows psychology plays a lot in successful recovery. Sending him back to the hospital after doing so much to come could actually be more detrimental to his recovery than staying would be.

She gets at his level. “I will let you stay if you promise to follow all the rules and protocols I put for your recovery after that. Deal ?” She can see at his posture and his eyes how drained he is. He is only holding out of pure spite and pride and she has to salute his will.

He holds her stare and nod. Tsunade press her lips together, ‘if he can’t even talk anymore…’ this is a bad idea.

“Fine.” She agrees but her tone is dry and severe. “We finish it in ten minutes.” She turn to Gai one last time. “Don’t come to complain if you die.” Then walks to the scene.

Gai brace himself to follow her. He is not sure he has enough strength to push his wheelchair to the front row, but thankfully Shizune is the one to push him. Kakashi gently press his hand before stepping on the scene again.

They rush the ceremony without guilt and at the instant it’s official, Kakashi rush at his side, lift him out of his chair. Tsunade is just behind.

“Hold me.” He says. It’s just a whisper and it makes Gai shiver.

He does his best to cling on him and in an instant they are out of the room and back at the hospital where doctors and nurses rush to the room as well as Tsunade who followed them.

As Kakashi lay him on the bed, he wants to say something but only manage to collapse to the feeling of Kakashi’s warms leaving him.

When he awakes again, night has fallen, only a small warm light lit up the room. Kakashi is on a chair at his side, gently falling asleep but not quite sleeping yet. A move on his part immediately rouse him up.

“You took your time.” His voice is so gentle, but also scolding, Gai can’t help but smile.

“I’ve just been out a few hours.” He says back.

“Two days actually.”

“Oh !”

Kakashi sit on the bed and grab his hand. Silent reigns between them for a moment, Kakashi gentle caress is the only thing that smooth Gai worries.

“I wanted to apologize.”

“For nearly dying a second time ? Yes, you can !” Gai frown but ignore it.

“No, for interrupting your inauguration. I didn’t mean to steal the attention. You deserved to have a proper ceremony.”

“The ceremony was proper.”

“It was rushed.”

“Which is perfect for me, you know how much I hate when it goes on, and goes on, indefinitely. You saved me here. Gave me the perfect excuse.” Gai give a small chuckle. “Plus who says I want the attention ? Feel free to steal it all, always, I don’t want it.”

“I just really wanted to see you become Hokage. It’s an honor. Congratulations.”

“It’s a burden.”

“Burden.. You’re exaggerating.” He stirs up and try to straighten but fail. His body hurt. Kakashi seeing this gently push on his chest and mutter a ‘stay’ so quiet Gai barely discern it.

“I don’t want the position.”

“Too late you took it.” Kakashi chuckles,

“I know. Everybody tells me the same. Now I have to wait until Naruto is ready to take it from me.” They pause. “You should have been the one taking the post.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m serious, you would have made a wonderful Hokage.. ”

“No, not anymore.”

“What ?”

“I can’t protect the village anymore if need be. I would make a pitiful Hokage.”

“Gai.. ”

“I’m.. Useless now.” Kakashi frown.

“Ah yes, as if the one who killed Madara could ever be useless.” Gai stare at him. “I mean it. And if you think I’m not gonna make you useful, you’re mistaken. There is more you can offer than your fighting. But for that you have to stop being so kin on reaching your grave early. Don’t get me wrong I’m glad you came to see me, but I’m the one supposed to die first.”

“Since when you’re supposed to be the one dying first ?”

“Since always.”

“As if I will let it happen.”

“I’m serious, stop scaring me by taking absurd risk.”

“It was not absurd risk.”

“It absolutely was. Nobody else would have managed that, one week out of the coma and with the injuries you have, yet you did. Nobody even knows how you managed not to die from the effort itself.” Gai scoff. “I want you by my side.” His tone changed, softer and bit hurt. He bends to him and slowly pull down his mask. “I need you by my side.” He gently presses his lips on Gai’s. He’s shaking and Gai only truly realize how worried he has been.

“I will.” Kakashi press his forehead against his. “I will always stay by your side as long as you have me.”

End.

[catharrington]

A fake dating Au but it’s with Robin and Billy.

They are at a party and some guy is hounding her. Saying shit like don’t be a prude don’t be a priss. You a virgin? Let me rock your world!

And Robin god love her says something like you are so not my type, lug head.

She almost outs herself, the guy is about to ask what she means by that. She can see it on his tongue- but then Billy fucking Hargrove mad dog but right then a angel in white! He slips his denim covered arm around Robin’s waist before growling out you ain’t her type, limp dick, because I’m her fuckin type. Leave my girl alone. He smells like cigarette smoke and cheep beer and Robin kinda wants to kiss him.

They watch the other guy scamper away. Then Robin’s alone with Billy. Oh god, she’s alone with Billy. He might actually want her to kiss him?

But then- he’s pulling away. Respectfully. Rearranged his jacket a little to whip out another smoke just to put it between his lips and make it dance unlit as he speaks. “Ryan’s an asshole, wouldn’t know how to please a lady even if they ever said yes.” He starts explaining. “Saved you one there. But I have a feeling, I’ve saved you a little more, tweety bird. I have a feeling.... Ryan ain’t the only one who’s looking to please some ladies?”

Robin doesn’t know if she wants to kiss him, throw a punch, or throw up. But she’s familiar with Billy’s asshole leer around school and this isn’t it. He’s leveling her with an actual heart to heart question. And she’s just inebriated enough to nod out a quiet yes.

Billy shrugs. She comes out to him and he just fucking shrugs. Whips out his zippo lighter and burns the tip of his smoke cherry red. He says then we’ve got a good thing goin on here, huh?. With a wink. And turns to leave.

Robin’s dumbfounded. It’s not until school Monday morning when Billy’s standing by her locker waiting for her hand on his belt buckle she fully gets it.

Oh, then they’ve got a good thing going on here.

Billy flashes a real smile the band weirdo. Walks her back and forth to each class. Holds her books. Makes the rumors about him simmer down to whispers as the other students assume he’s settled down his sinful ways.

Some girls send Robin glares in the hallways but it’s much better than gosship behind the back of their hands. Or being crowded against a girls bathroom stall wanting to know why she doesn’t have anyone. Is she gay? Is she looking at them? Stop being a creep Buckley.

Monday she eats lunch with Billy and pretends to laugh when he calls Tina’s new jacket hideous. He brushes her hair behind her ear and shoves his half eaten tray towards her before skipping out to smoke. Robin braces herself for the touch, but it’s not as unwanted as she imagined it to be. He’s nice in the most unexpected of ways. But still, she watches the table brushing her hair trying to get his ghost hands off when another tray slams down.

And she’s surprised it took him half the day to put his big nose into the plan.

“Tell me,” Steve’s wide eyes are cartoon wide, “everything,” he hisses.

She rolls her eyes and says later Steve, maybe.

He doesn’t let that fly. Insisting that they are friends now and he’s trying to flip a page in his shit life by being friends with a weirdo, no offense, and so he deserves to have just a little gossip still, he’s not going to judge much.

She frowns, groans as she gets up and leads them towards the parking lot. They lean against Steve’s red BMW for two whole seconds before he’s repeating the same questions: spill it, Robs.

Robin describes the party, everything that happened and everything that happened this morning at school.

Steve gets a weird look in his eyes, glances around and down. Worrying his bottom lip as he thinks and thinks under all his big brown hair.

Robin rolls her eyes at him. Says it’s a good thing. Billy’s being helpful!

What if this is a big ploy? A trick to get you to admit secrets and then twist it on you. Out you? Steve whispers. You don’t want to think but- people do shit like that in this school.

Robin follows Steve’s eyes to where Billy’s standing with Tommy and Carol around the Camaro. the sight of Carol’s fluffy red hair if familiar. She used to be his friend, Carol did. While at the same time she used to knock Robin’s books out her hands in the hallways of middle school just so she can look down her nose while Robin crawled around the floor to collect them.

Robin shivers, but she shakes her head. Billy isn’t like that. Like them.

How do you know? Steve asks.

And Robin can remember how Steve’s face looked last year. How bruised and broken and how it was all Billy’s wild fists. But his skin is healed. And Billy didn’t leer at her at the party. This is different. She says to herself before she repeats it for Steve.

Billy’s different.

Steve doesn’t know what she means until Billy comes over and wraps his arm around Robin’s shoulders. He squeezes hard. Makes himself at home. Looks at Steve with a smile that’s way to gentle for sharp teeth and messy mustache.

Hey ya pretty boy, he greets, the words make Robin snap her head up, makes Steve scoff. You hear the good news? Billy says. And it’s code for do you know? Are you hip?

Steve looks at him dumbly, like he can’t be bothered. It was only a few short weeks ago he tried to confess to Robin, just to get set down the nicest way. It feels better though, in a way he didn’t expect, to have a friend who is so genuine to him in ways he hasn’t had before. From anyone. Robin scolds him and helps him and laughs with him where he would otherwise be alone. Outcasted. The least he can do is protect her from... from who he used to be.

But Steve knows Robin’s smarter than him. It’s one of the reasons he liked her so much. Likes her, he still likes her. Even if he doesn’t have a chance.

“I guess you guys have a... good thing goin on?” He pretends he doesn’t care. Haughty, practiced, the only flick of emotion the way his tongue wets his lips. And his hand nervously sliding though his long hair.

Billy replies to that by smiling wide and mean, sliding his tongue over his bottom lip like he does in basketball. Sends shivers up Steve’s back. Makes breath hard to get out his chest.

Robin shoves off Billy’s arm. She’s standing between them, looking left and right like she’s watching the ball in pong go back and forth on the screen. Reading the pixels. Then she smirks. Her lipstick red lips parting into a devious smirk.

Why does he call you pretty boy, Steve? She asks quickly, low, should I be jealous you’re flirting with my boyfriend?

Steve’s smug mask of annoyance cracks and slips between his fingers. He’s not quick enough to catch it. His jaw drops open. But his eyes don’t turn to Robin, he keeps watching Billy. Watches as that wild dog smirk fades and a cherry blush grows over his California sun kissed freckled cheeks.

The bells rings just then. Before either boys have a chance to reply. Robin has to stop herself from skipping into the school building.

[sierraraeck]

Some Things Do Change

BAU x OC Aundreya

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Summary: Aundreya loops the rest of the team in on DeLeon’s most recent threat, and receives a phone call with unexpected news. Story twenty-three.

Category: Just a normal case. I guess a little angst and a little fluff if you look for it.

Warnings: Cussing. Mentions of hate crimes as their case. Mentions of death and murder.

Word Count: 5.6k

A/N: I still know nothing about prison protocols.

I had a plan.

But this time, I was sure that it actually accounted for everything. Now that I knew DeLeon’s main motivations were to get back at me, to destroy my connection with everyone I care about, and above all take an eye for an eye, I felt better prepared.

I called and told Mateo that he needed to be on the lookout in case DeLeon came after him, and I told Deen to put some of our best people on him without him knowing. If Mateo knew I had our own people watching him, ready to step in and help protect him, he’d get mad and make sure to lose them, talking some shit about being able to take care of himself. I couldn’t have that, because as much as I trusted Mateo, I equally didn’t trust DeLeon. He could have anything in store for us.

On the other hand, I talked to Hotch about getting a protective detail for Spencer, without Spencer knowing, but he told me we would have to tell him. I really didn’t want that, having Spencer worrying about me and also about himself, so I offered to put more of my people on him, but he said no. Hotch insisted that we get the team involved this time.

Which I heavily opposed.

He didn’t care, and gracefully reminded me that it was no longer my call considering a fellow agent was in danger.

We filed into the round table room where a detail was waiting, and instead of Garcia, it was Hotch standing by the screen, ready to present everything to the group.

“What’s going on?” Spencer asked, gesturing between Aaron and the detail.

“Sit down,” Aaron commanded. We did as he said, waiting for him to continue. A couple of side eyes were passed my way, but I did my best to ignore them and appear neutral. ��As you know, a man by the name of Jamar DeLeon has recently crossed the BAU desk, and it has been brought to my attention that things have been getting more serious.”

It was getting harder to ignore the fiery glances thrown my way. “Knowing his motives with Chambers, and how things nearly ended last time, we’ve hired protective detail Clyde to-”

“What does Chambers need a detail for? Wouldn’t she just use her own people?” JJ jumped in, as if I wasn’t even there.

“Detail’s not for me,” I smoothly answered. Confusion flashed across her face before Hotch answered her unasked question.

“He’s here for Reid.”

“What?” Reid asked.

“Last time, DeLeon’s endgame was an eye for an eye,” Hotch stated. “He had his sights set on you, and we are sure that you are still the target.”

“An eye for an eye?” Derek confirmed. “Because she killed Xena, right?”

“Correct.”

“What about that other guy?” Emily stepped in, “Mateo?”

“It’s handled,” I assured. She gave me a look, but relented.

“What about Garcia?” Derek asked. “I mean, she actually got shot last time.”

“That’s true, but I don’t think he’s going to take the same approach as last time,” I said. “He already tried that and failed, so I think he’s going to go with a more personal touch this time, and as much as I love you, Penelope, you’re not his target.”

She let out an audible sigh.

“But I am?” Spencer confirmed.

“Yes.”

“How’d you get him off the first time?” JJ asked. “Couldn’t you do that again?”

Aaron and I exchanged a look, which everyone caught, before he answered for me, “That option will no longer work.”

“And why’s that?” JJ pressed.

“It was a one time offer, and is off the table,” Hotch sternly continued, giving JJ a pointed look.

“What are you not telling us?” Derek probed.

Hotch was about to say something more when I cut him off, “It’s okay.” I looked at him, and I could tell he was silently asking me if it really was okay, and I just nodded. “My one time offer was with Agent Howard Archer.”

“So you killed him to save Spencer?” Emily quickly concluded.

I shook my head, “Not exactly. Before I joined your team, I was hiding out within my own ring. I’d just escaped from prison and was trying to stay as under the radar as I could. Somehow, Archer found me, and he wasn’t there to arrest me. He hired me to infiltrate the BAU, get rid of the vice president, and pin it on Hotch. So, I-”

“Hold on. You were working with Archer and you killed him?” Emily interjected.

“Yes, I’m getting there,” I confirmed. Hotch was staring holes into me, because while he had figured out it was me who killed Archer, he didn’t know about all of this, specifically the part where I was supposed to get him charged with murder. “After getting to know you guys, I did everything I could to stall, and Archer was about to expose me when I got put in prison, which was actually a small blessing, giving me a legitimate excuse not to follow through. He visited me in prison and slipped up, letting me know that he was in contact with, and most likely hired, Xena and DeLeon to do what I couldn’t. I wasn’t about to let that happen, so when I was given the perfect opportunity to run, I took it. I was hopeful that I could keep them off your backs long enough for me to figure out what to do. The ring and I had a plan to get Xena on our side and then take down DeLeon, but when that didn’t work-”

“You killed her,” Rossi finished. “Without a single trace.”

“Right,” I nodded.

I was about to keep going when he asked, “How did you pull that off anyway?”

“I didn’t,” I smirked slightly, not answering his question. “I was pretty beat up though, so I went to Madden’s place, the doctor. DeLeon grabbed me from there and took me to wherever it was and started live streaming. I was able to get Reid out of that because I offered him more than what he wanted.”

“Which was..?” Rossi prompted.

“He could get an eye for an eye by killing Spencer or Mateo, but what he really wanted was for me to feel as hurt as he did. I told him that I’d carry out my deal with Archer, wrecking my relationships with all of you and most likely the ring along with it.”

“That was actually pretty clever,” Emily admitted.

I shrugged, “Not clever enough. The last loose end in all of this besides DeLeon himself was Archer. He was panicking because he’d hired three of the biggest criminals in the nation to do his dirty work, and we weren’t exactly playing nice with one another. I had people following him and they told me that he was on edge and having weird phone conversations. Plus, I thought he hired people to come after me and was worried that he was in contact with DeLeon to carry out the deal and get me caught in the process. He was unreliable, so…” I didn’t need to continue. “But now, DeLeon is going to be extra pissed that I played him and I’m sure he’ll be taking a more direct course of action, hence Clyde.” I gestured toward him. They were all silent, shifting their eyes between me, Hotch, and the protective detail.

“Holy shit, Chambers,” Tara spoke up first. “What’s your plan now?”

“That’s what we brought you in to talk about,” Hotch said, gaining back control of the conversation. “We will have Clyde with Reid and will then have to wait.”

“Wait for what?” Derek asked, the discomfort apparent in his voice.

“Wait for DeLeon to make a move. We may know that he’s one of the biggest criminals, but we don’t have any proof that will hold up in court, so yes. We wait.”

“You’re just gonna let him take Reid and kill him for evidence?” Derek raised his voice.

I shook my head, “He won’t kill him. At least, not when he first grabs him. He’ll want me watching, and preferably in person.”

“We’ll give him that,” Hotch assured. “Once Chambers is in with him, we can track her and arrest him.”

“And I can handle him until you guys show up,” I said.

“I, for one, do not think this is a good plan,” JJ chimed in. “It’s super unpredictable, and-”

“I’ll do it,” Spencer casually said.

“Spencer, come on, it’s-” JJ tried again, brows knit together.

“I said I’ll do it.” His voice was strong and exuded more confidence than I’d heard in a while. I was surprised he was so willing to do it, trusting that we’d get there in time.

“Good,” Hotch said, leaving no more room for argument, “Until then, we continue with business as usual. To not raise suspicion, Clyde will be acting as a NAT who is shadowing us. Garcia, you may present the case.”

“Yes, sir,” Garcia said, making her way up to the screen. “Five men within the last two months have gone missing, their last known locations being a gay bar in downtown New Orleans.”

“So we’re thinking hate crime?” Tara asked.

“That’s what it looks like,” Rossi agreed, “Do they all match the same description?”

“Do they ever,” Garcia said, pressing buttons to bring up all five men’s faces. “Mid-thirties, white, blonde hair, and around six feet tall.”

“Wow,” Emily commented, “That screams surrogate.”

“Now we have to figure out who for. Wheels up in 30.”

The team dispersed, but I hung back to talk to Penelope. She tried to force a smile and walk past me, but I called, “Penelope?” She stopped and slowly turned around to face me. “I-I wanted to apologize. On that video, I know I said some pretty terrible things and I just-”

“No need,” she quietly stopped me. “I know you were just doing what you needed to.” She then rushed out of the room, leaving me alone. I threw my head back, and sighed as I looked up at the ceiling. That went well.

“She’s just hurting.” His voice brought my eyes to his in an instant. Spencer quirked his mouth to one side. “It’ll just take some time.”

“I hate that I was the one who did that to her,” I confided, “And on top of that, I couldn’t even prevent her from getting shot. Looks like she got the best of both worlds.”

“Yes, but she knows you were trying to save her life. It’s a twisted sort of compliment that you almost couldn’t.”

“If you wanna look at it that way,” I shrugged. He was about to respond to me when my phone started buzzing.

“I’ll let you take that. Meet you by the jet in ten?”

“Sure,” I agreed, answering my phone. “Hello?”

A man’s voice came over the line. “Ms. Spade?”

I paused for a moment. Who is calling and why did they refer to me by my given last name? I contemplated answering when the man asked again, “Is this Ms. Spade?”

“Um, yes, this is she,” I replied.

“Hello, this is Todd Joseph with the DC correctional facility in Washington DC. I regret to inform you that your father, Joe Spade, has died as of 3:13 am this morning. I am very sorry for your loss. We recommend that you come down to the facility to make a decision on-”

“Any decisions can be made over the phone,” I interrupted. Under no circumstances did I want to visit a prison when I did not have to, and definitely not for my father.

“Of course, Ms. Spade. I guess my first question should be if you plan on holding a ceremony?”

Did I plan on holding a ceremony? I didn’t even think I was the right person to be asking. But there was no one else in his life, which made me the sole decision maker. “I do not.”

“Is there anything specific you would like us to do with his body? Any belongings you may want to search through?” His voice sounded calm, like this was the only thing he had to do all day, like nothing else was more important than calling Joe Spade’s estranged daughter that was the one who put him in prison in the first place to ask what she wanted to do with his dead body.

“No. Do whatever you need, but I will not be taking part in anything regarding Joe Spade,” I replied, a bit too harshly. I then hung up the phone, and hoped that he got the message and wouldn’t call me back. I leaned back against the table, feeling empty. I wasn’t sad that he was gone. He’d done nothing for me except try to kill some of the only people I care about and ruin my childhood. As messed up as it sounds, I always imagined what it would be like, the day he died. I knew that I wouldn’t care, but somewhere in my head I had the image of me feeling happy. Relieved. But he’d been so far out of my mind, that I really didn’t feel anything. It would be like if some random person called you up and told you that a complete stranger across the city died and you were supposed to make a decision about what to do next.

I felt nothing. The only thought swimming through my head was that I was officially the last Spade standing. I was it. My grandparents had died of old age, not like I knew them well, my mother was an only child and my father had a younger sister who had taken another last name and I’d never met her anyways. I am it. I officially have no family left. And I wouldn’t even consider myself a Spade.

I was drawn from my thoughts by the sound of footsteps running toward me. “Aundreya!” Spencer called. “We have to go. I thought you were going to meet me in ten?”

Have I really just been standing here for over ten minutes? “Yeah, sorry, I got distracted.”

“By that phone call?”

“I guess,” I tried to play it off, “Let’s go.” I brushed past him, grabbed my go-bag, and started jogging toward the jet.

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

The case was actually pretty standard. We’d found the perp in under four days, and just had to interrogate him before we could officially arrest him.

Spencer had been eyeing me for the past couple days, and just recently, so had Emily. I wasn’t sure what was going on, but neither said anything to me, and no one else was acting off, so I let it go. Spencer and I were assigned to go in and interrogate a man by the name of Chase Terry who fit the profile to a T.

We casually walked into the room, Spencer taking the seat across from him, me standing in the corner with my back against the wall, hands in my pockets.

“Chase Terry?” Spencer started in a conversational tone. No response. “What were you doing two nights ago when Liam Parish went missing?”

“I don’t have to talk to you,” Chase stated, crossing his arms.

“You probably should,” Spencer sympathetically said, “We’re just trying to cross you off our suspect list so we can find the guy who did this.”

“And I’m supposed to believe that?” Chase asked. “You put me in handcuffs and dragged me here. You think I did it.”

“You’re right. Some of my colleagues do,” he admitted, voice still soft, “But I don’t. See, I don’t think you match the profile of an out of control, spiteful, bipolar man with daddy issues and internalized homophobia. I think you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

Chase shifted in his chair and locked his jaw, “I’m not gay.”

“I didn’t say you were. So just tell me where you were two nights ago, and I’ll let you go,” Spencer offered. Chase just sat there. Then, Spencer decided to turn up the heat, voice getting a bit more frustrated, enunciating each word carefully. “Where were you two nights ago?”

Still nothing, so Spencer pushed harder. “Where were you? At home with your boyfriend?”

“I’m not gay!”

“Then why was your phone pinging off of three cell towers around the same gay bar that Liam Parish was last seen at?” Spencer had leaned in on the table, getting very close to Chase. “You were there, we know you were. What were you doing at a gay bar if you’re not gay? Answer me!” There was fire in Spencer’s eyes as Chase still had nothing to give us.

I decided to cool things down a bit, my voice skating across like ice, “Careful, because if you piss him off so much he decides to leave,” I clicked my tongue, “I’ll be the one in charge.”

“Who are you?” Chase asked, finally acknowledging my presence.

I nodded my head toward Spencer, “He asked you a question first. What were you doing at that bar?”

Right as Chase leaned back in his chair, clearly closed off to answering any questions, Spencer stood up and walked out of the room, but not before giving me a small eyebrow raise and a smirk.

My turn. I stayed leaning against the wall in the darkest corner, waiting for Chase to speak first. With the help of a perfect set up from Spencer, he did. “What’s his problem?”

“I’ve been asking myself that for years,” I feigned annoyance. “But tell me about you. Raised by a single mom, no siblings, absent father. Me too, actually.” I slowly sauntered toward the table, resting my hands on the back of the chair Spencer had just been sitting in. “He used to yell at us a lot, when he was home, which he wasn’t often. My mom finally divorced him after finding out that he was cheating on her.”

It was close enough to the truth that I could be convincing, but close enough to his truth to get his wheels turning and hopefully lips flapping.

“Your father cheated on your mother?” Chase asked, a bit skeptical.

“Yeah, and for some pretty young bitch like half his age,” I lied, allowing my voice to sound a bit more angry. “He’d been lying to us for essentially my entire life and then left us for her. God, I just wanted to tell him how much I hated him for that.”

“What a dick. Mine left us for some guy he claimed to be in love with. Can you believe that there are so many men that do that?” Chase asked, leaning back in from his seat.

“The percentages are ridiculous,” I sat down as I continued talking, “Apparently 70 percent of all marriages see at least one incident of cheating. It’s unbelievable how these people, especially men, are willing to just throw their family away for some fun one night.”

“Yeah that, or like for you and I, an entire secret life,” Chase agreed.

“I know! It just makes you so angry, doesn’t it?”

“Absolutely.”

“I wanted to become an FBI agent so that I could track down my father and tell him to his face how much I hated him,” I gave a single laugh, “The look he gave me…” I pretended to revel in the feeling.

“It must’ve been nice. I haven’t been able to track down my father and do the same.” He looked like he was zoning out a little, probably imagining what he’d imagined doing a thousand times to his father, what he’d already done to men like Liam.

“I hope you get to one day. It’s an amazing feeling. But for now I guess you’ll just have to keep using men at bars instead,” I casually added, then held my breath.

He sighed. “I guess. It’ll never be as good as the real thing, though.”

“No, hurting them will never be as satisfying as digging your nails into your own father’s throat,” I snarled.

He flashed a wicked smile at the thought, clenching his fists, “Not even close,” and I knew we had him for sure. There wasn’t a single jury that wouldn’t convict him after seeing that smile and that essential confession.

“Come on, I’ll take you to our tech guru and she can help you find your father.”

“Really?” he asked, standing up. I nodded and we made our way to the exit. I motioned for him to go ahead of me, but before he could grab the handle, I shoved him up against the door. I already had the cuffs halfway around his wrists by the time he yelled, “Hey! What the hell!”

“We don’t make it a habit of helping people going to prison find their final target. Sorry.” I led him out the door while he struggled against me, practically throwing him in the precinct holding cell until he could be transferred to a more permanent one.

“Nice job,” Emily complimented. “Way to connect with his anger towards his father.”

“Thanks,” was all I offered as I walked away, barely catching the shared look between her and Spencer.

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

By the time we boarded the jet, it was the middle of the afternoon and we were on schedule to get home before dinner. I was about to pull out a book in hopes that it would make me tired enough for a plane ride cat nap, but I was stopped shy by the tapping sound of wood on wood.

Spencer sat down happily across from me, setting the folded, portable chess set in the middle of us. “Want to play a game of chess?”

I looked at him with a blank face. “Why?”

“Because you enjoy playing,” Spencer answered, a bit of a question in his voice. He must’ve assumed that I would immediately say yes.

“You always beat me,” I slightly pouted.

“But you never back down from a challenge,” he reminded me.

I quickly glanced around at everyone else on the jet, and the seat Spencer used to be occupying at the opposite end. I cocked an eyebrow, “Everyone else said no, didn’t they?”

“Well, I, I uh … No? No. That’s not what-” he floundered.

I smiled. “Just set up the board.”

He happily obliged. We went through three games, and before we started our fourth, Rossi called over, “You just don’t know when to quit, do you?”

“Well, someone’s got to keep his genius brain occupied, and we all know it’s not gonna be you,” I joked, eyebrows raised.

“Okay, I see how it is,” Rossi smugly said, tossing his hands up in surrender, “Either way, I’m just glad I’m not you.” I rolled my eyes, and we set up for our fourth game.

And then the unthinkable happened.

I beat him. For real. I really, truely, beat him.

I couldn’t believe it, and clearly neither could Spencer because he hadn’t moved from his position, hands under his chin, elbows on the table, eyes staring at the board, so I confirmed, “Did I do it?” He slowly looked up at me, lips pressed together, confusion in his eyes and I knew. “Oh my god, I did it!”

My mouth fell open and I clapped my hands together. I reached my hand over the board, and he reluctantly took it. “Good game.”

“It really was, wasn’t it?” I rhetorically asked, staring at the board with wonder. Reid started laughing, and I had to laugh with him. We’d played so many games of chess over the years we’d known each other, and I started to give up on my promise that one day I’d beat him. “What game number is this?”

“203.”

“Holy shit,” I said. “No wonder everyone on this plane thinks I’m fucking insane.”

“That’s because you are,” Rossi called over again.

“True,” I agreed, “But it paid off. Bet now you wish you were me.”

He just playfully shook his head.

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

When we landed, it was almost 4pm and we decided we’d spend the next hour getting a jump start on our paperwork. We decided to go and eat together (which I somehow got invited to?), but right as we were about to leave, Spencer and Emily awkwardly stood in front of me. They didn’t make a move to get out of the way, so I just stared at them knowing damn well they were about to address the awkwardness I’d been sensing.

“Hey, is everything okay?” Emily asked.

I furrowed my brow, “Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”

“I don’t know you just seem … not yourself,” Emily observed.

“I’m okay,” I told her with certainty.

“You’ve just been acting … I don’t know actually, you’ve been acting pretty normal,” Emily struggled, sounding a bit frustrated.

I gave her a look. “I’m confused.”

“Dull?” Spencer intervened, “Like you’re you, and you’re acting like you, but something about you seems duller than usual.”

I cocked my head to the side. There was only one thing that made this week different from all of the other weeks, which was, “My dad died.” My voice was very steady and neutral, which there was no reason for it to sound otherwise.

“What, really?” Emily was shocked, eyes going wide.

I shrugged. “Yeah, I guess it happened Tuesday night, well I mean Wednesday morning.”

She looked over at Spencer who was trying to hide the fact that he was gawking at me, and she cautiously asked, “Should we be doing anything?”

“I don’t think so.”

“No celebration?”

“Emily!” Spencer turned on her.

“What? He was a terrible guy,” Emily defended, shrugging with her palms up.

As Derek walked out of the bullpen to join the party, he added, “I’d toast to that.”

“Derek!” Spencer screeched, wide eyes trained on him.

“She’s right, though,” he replied, “Dude sucked.”

“He was still her father,” Spencer hissed.

I decided to step in, “Not really. He was more like a stranger, I didn’t know him. You know I always thought I’d be happy when this day came, but I really just don’t feel anything one way or the other about it.”

“That makes sense,” Emily nodded, “So if you’re feeling normal, does that mean we can go out for normal drinks?”

Spencer elbowed Emily, and she glared right back at him. “Yeah. Just normal, after-case drinks.”

“Fantastic, first round is on me,” Emily smiled.

“Ooh, first round of what?” Penelope asked, as she joined us in the hallway outside the elevator.

“Ask Chambers, she gets to choose,” Emily declared.

“Ugh, not fair,” Penelope whined.

“Well, her dad died, so…” Derek explained.

“Oh, seriously?” JJ asked with a little pep in her voice, joining the rest of us with Tara, Hotch, and Rossi on her trail. “Uh, congratulations?”

“Not you too, JJ,” Spencer complained. I pressed my lips together to hold back a smile. It was kind of endearing that he thought the team should be more sensitive about my feelings or whatever.

“What? I thought you hated your dad,” JJ looked to me for confirmation.

“I did,” I told her, “But I don’t really feel anything about it.”

“That must be nice,” Tara added. I nodded and couldn’t contain the small smile that pulled on my lips.

I leaned over to where Spencer was still tensely standing next to me. I whispered, “It’s okay, they’re just trying to lighten the mood. Plus, they’re kinda right.”

“I just want to make sure they’re not being insensitive,” he softened his eyes as he looked at me.

“They’re not,” I assured.

When we got to the bar and diner, Emily followed through and bought us all a round of tequila shots. Four rounds later and a few other drinks in, she announced, “I know you said normal, but I think we should go around and share our favorite memory of Joe Spade.”

I laughed in her face, “You met the man once!”

“Exactly. I’ll start,” she smiled. “My favorite moment was when we found out he’d been stalking you for months because he just wanted you to talk to him.”

“Wait, what the hell?” Tara asked.

No one answered her because JJ’s turn was next. “My favorite moment was when she calmly stared him down while he was holding on to Spencer.”

“What the actual hell?” Tara intervened again, “How am I just now hearing about this?”

She was ignored yet again when Derek said, “My favorite moment was when Aundreya kicked his ass and told him off!”

There was some hooting and hollering at that, and I just shook my head with amusement. Hey, at least they know me well enough to know I can joke about anything, especially the weird and bad things that happen to me, and feel comfortable enough to actually do it. Granted, they are kinda tipsy. “You people are truely demented.”

“Especially when you’re drunk,” Tara added.

“Like you’re so much better,” Penelope slurred, sticking her tongue out.

“Maybe not,” Tara said with a smirk, “But I bet I could still kick all of your asses on the dance floor.” Quickly, all five of them scurried in that direction, leaving Spencer talking with Hotch, like they had since the beginning, and me with Rossi. I rested my chin on my fist as I looked down the bar toward Spencer, who was gesturing with his hands and smiling at something Hotch was telling him, probably about Jack.

I’d been trying to control myself, but ever since he kissed me, and I knew that things weren’t perfect with Maeve, I found my mind wandering to him. Especially knowing everything Hotch told me about him when I was gone, and how I needed to stop running from emotionally difficult things, I just couldn’t suppress the urges to look and think about him anymore. I gave in. I gave myself hope. Which was one of the most dangerous things I’d ever done.

“So what’s with you and the kid?” Rossi said, sitting down in between me and my staring. I gave him a look and he asked, “What, you said act normal.”

“I did say that,” I grudgingly admitted.

“So… what’s with you and Reid these days?”

“Who said there was anything with me and Reid these days?” I fired back.

“Oh Chambers,” he faked disappointment, “You know you can’t lie to profilers.”

I sighed, “I’m not going to be a homewrecker.”

“I have news for you. You can’t be a homewrecker if there is no home to wreck,” he pointed out.

“Does everyone forget about Maeve?” I asked.

“He doesn’t talk about her,” Rossi waved it off.

“He’s a private person,” I acknowledged.

“Yeah, but you don’t understand,” he said, “He used to talk about her. Then you came back, and he stopped talking about her.”

We sat in silence for a while longer before I felt the need to voice a fear of mine since this all started again. “Do you think he’s only showing interest in me because he’s been to prison?”

“What gave you that impression?” Rossi’s voice was a mixture of confusion and what sounded like it could be boredom. Fed up, maybe?

“Come on we all know he can’t accept the good things that happen to him, so what if he's just accepting the bad ones instead? I mean he thinks Maeve deserves better, so what if settling for second place is some weird form of self punishment?” The moment I said it, Rossi narrowed his eyes at me and shook his head.

He sighed, “You’re crazy, I don’t know how you got there.”

“Exactly!” I pointed out, “I am crazy, that’s why I can’t figure out why, under any circumstance, he’d be interested in me.”

“Does it matter?” he asked, dragging the words out as he shook his head slightly. I just looked at him. “Seriously, does it matter why he’s interested in you? The reasons don’t change anything. You care about each other, so just go for it, there’s really nothing standing in your way.” I was about to protest when he repeated, “Nothing. At least, there’s nothing from his end. Is there something from yours?”

“I mean-” I struggled to voice my thoughts.

“Look, I don’t know how you act around that Mateo character,” he said and I sighed. Of course he knows that’s something I’m thinking about. “But I know how you act around him, and I know how he acts around you. Think about what you really want, Aundreya, and then just go for it, but don’t keep putting yourself, and Spencer, through this.” With that, he got up, leaving me alone with a perfect view of Spencer’s glowing face.

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

When the night came to a close, we all had to get back to our places. Hotch, Rossi, and Spencer left early, Derek and Penelope got a cab, Will came to get JJ, and I drove Emily and Tara home. They said they could get a ride home like Derek and Penelope, but I insisted. Plus, I really didn’t want to go home already. It’d become a place I dreaded being at.

I opened my door to the usual sight of red on the opposite wall, and had to do a double take to actually notice.

Underneath “This isn’t over” was another three word phrase in brilliant red:

I have Spencer.

I dialed Aaron at lightning speed, “DeLeon has Spencer.”

“Get to the office now. I’ll call everyone else.” That was all he said before hanging up. I turned around to head right back out the door, and saw that someone was blocking my way. I bitterly smiled to myself as I set down my phone and started taking off my jacket.

“Haven’t you people given up yet?” I patronized. “You lose every single time.”

“It’ll work eventually,” a low, booming voice responded.

“Maybe, but,” I narrowed my eyes. He took a step toward me as I delivered a single spin kick to the side of his head, locating two more guys in my peripheral vision, “Not this time.”

Series Taglist

@justanothetfangirl @kris-stuff @blameitonthenight21 @wooya1224 @unded-bride @swiftingday @dezzxmx

[shigarakis-fifth-hand]

Mha Scenarios

@drbumpkin said:

May I have separate headcanons for being the sibling of Bakugo, Todoroki and Midoriya? 🙏 They can be younger or older 

Bakugo

You’re his older sister, so of course you two fight a lot

It’s not because you two have stuff to argue about, but because you two are so different

You’re this beautiful, calm, confident young lady who managed to become a hero by 20 and have your own hero agency by 30

All your parents can talk about is how amazing you are

It’s fair to say that you’re a lot more like your father than mother

Bakugo hates talking about you to his friends, since you’re all his parents talk about

It’s honestly where a lot of his confidence issues come from

You are kind though, so it’s hard for him to be mad at you for that

When you come home from college, he stays far away

He hates how happier your parents are with you than him

He’s not jealous though, he knows you deserve it more

He doesn’t talk to you for awhile when he’s in middle school, until you get hurt from a villain attack

You’re in a 3 week coma, and he comes everyday

EVERY

SINGLE

DAY

Since you can’t respond, he tells you about everything going on in his life

“I went out running today and I saw Deku training on that dumpy beach.”

“Mom is getting on my nerves about my grades, it’s not my fault I can’t get all A’s like you.”

“UA is having their test, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to get out of bed for it.”

“I’m just so nervous, I literally feel like I’ll kill myself if I don’t make it in, I almost don’t want to go and just avoid the rejection.”

“I think Deku cleaned up an entire beach but I might be crazy.”

“Why can’t I be calm like you? I yelled at a girl for tripping in front of me and almost making me trip. She started crying and then I yelled at her for crying.”

“I got suspended for punching a kid. How come I’m not good like you?”

“I got into UA, so why do I still feel like a nobody?”

“I want to jump off the roof of UA, but you might come back. I miss you so much.”

“I met this kid named Kirishima. He’s different from anybody else. He makes me feel like maybe life is worth living.”

“Y/n, I think I’m gay.”

“Kiri and I went on a date, he wants to meet you. You could maybe meet him when you wake up.”

“Please wake up, I can’t do this much longer.”

“Life is just awful, I’m such a jerk to everyone.”

“Please come back, I miss my study buddy. My grades are dropping fast.”

“You went to UA right? Aizawa talked about you a lot in class today, I started crying. Fuck, damn Deku tried to comfort me.”

When you finally wake up, you make eye contact with him and he immediately knows you remember everything

But you just hug him, and he hugs back even tighter while silently crying

“I love you Bakugo.”

He mumbled back, but that’s more than you ever thought he would do

Todoroki

You’re his baby sister, and you two were close

The relationship of you two is not a common one, but Todoroki was never the talker

Whenever either one of you would be upset, Shoto would sit you in his lap and turn on his music in his room, simply hugging and rocking you back and forth

He’s six years older than you, and you’re the baby of the family

He was forced to watch your father abuse you when you were just a toddler, and he was a powerless teenager

Even though you were a girl, he did not go easier on you like he did to Fuyumi

You had a powerful quirk like Shoto, and he knew that you were the last child he would have a change to make the best

Endeavor had the habit of digging his nails into you whenever you stood next to him and he would get angry, as well as pushing you around whenever he got angry with someone else

Todoroki snapped at his father once when Endeavor threw a glass vase at you when he had gotten off an aggravating phone call with his hero agency and had put you in the hospital due to the extreme cuts over your body

The two guys had only stopped arguing when you fell to the floor unconscious, and forced them both to rush you to the hospital to avoid death

Todoroki lost all respect for his mother who did nothing, and took responsibility for you with his sister and brother

When Fuyumi and Natsuo left the household, and Shoto was about to leave for UA himself, the three of them were terrified for your safety

They knew that you simply weren’t safe, and your mother would not be any help for you

Fuyumi simply couldn’t take you due to her constant traveling around the world, and Natsuo knew that he was moving soon and you would be forced to switch schools

They needed a way to keep you at your school so reporters wouldn’t question it, and yet keep you away from your father

Finally, Todoroki managed up the courage to go to Aizawa, All Might, Midnight, and Present Mic

They insisted on meeting you, and immediately agreed, Midnight even wanting to take you under her wing

She was the mom you had never had, and never knew that you needed

You lived with Shoto in the dormitory, and the year he left UA was the year that you got into UA, due to the training you had done with Midnight

Your father and mother had insisted that Shoto bring you back, but that just caused Fuyumi, Natsuo, and Shoto to threaten to go to the police which shut them up

Deku

You are Deku’s twin sister, being the older one of course by two whole minutes

You guys are the best of friends and have been inseparable since birth

Yet you guys couldn't be more different. You got your amazing quirk when you were three. You claimed the ability to melt, reshape, and move items with your mind, a mix of your father and mother’s quirk that left you very strong

Even Bakugo was impressed, calling you his partner in crime whenever the kids at school would awe over both of the powerful quirks

Izuku, Katsuki and you are a big group of friends who do everything together, from exploring in the forest after every school day, and going into the city with your moms on the weekends

When Deku was announced to be quirkless for his entire life, you were heartbroken

You noticed how Bakugo slowly began to tease/bully Izuku more, and want to hang out with only you

“Who needs him?! Aren’t siblings supposed to have different friend groups after all? Plus, you and I will be the Dream Team when we’re older!”

It wasn’t until Izuku came home with a black eye and a cut on his lip when he confessed that Bakugo and a few of his followers had been chasing, punching, kicking, and bullying Izuku at school

The next morning in class, you stormed over to Bakugo’s desk in front of the entire class and hit him with your chemistry textbook

“You jerk! You say you’re my best friend and then you beat up my brother?! It’s not his fault he’s quirkless! It’s not anybody’s fault!”

Bakugo is standing up, embarrassed as everyone is watching and judging him from being yelled at by a girl, especially someone who everyone knew Bakugo liked

“So you’re telling me that you don’t see it?! He’s an emotional wreck of a person who is a waste of space and you know it! Just admit that we’re better than him and I’ll-”

You slap him across the face, shutting him up as he stands there, totally unknowing of what to do as you both have tears in your eyes

“I hope you hurt!! You can yourself a hero?! No, you’re a villain! I can’t believe I ever was your friend!! Forget the Dream Team Katsuki, I’m never talking to you again!”

You rip off the necklace Katsuki got you the weekend before when you guys went to a concert, and slam it into his desk before storming out, leaving him totally shocked and unaware of what to do

“Heyyy Bakugo, don’t let a girl get to you. That whore doesn’t-” One of Bakugo’s followers can’t finish his sentence as Bakugo slams his fist into his fist with all of his force, knocking out many teeth and earning Bakugo a week long suspension

Word spreads around the school quickly, and you are labeled as the boss bitch of the school, while Bakugo is somehow known as the jackass who doesn’t respect girls, Izuku going uninvolved in the gossip going around

When you meet up with Deku to walk home, you sees he’s been crying

You ask him who hurt him, ready to bitch-slap anyone, but it met by him hugging you tightly

“T-Thank you so much Y/n. I love you so much.” 

You two hug for awhile, before you walk home to be met by your loving mother

Inko never finds out about Izuku’s bullying, and you like it that way, so Izuku can forget about it when he’s home

Thanks to you, Izuku stops getting bullied and is left to be alone, everyone knowing that you’ll kill anyone who even looks at him weirdly

When your last year of high school is ending, it is announced that Bakugo, you and Izuku are the only ones who are trying to get into UA

People shoot Izuku sarcastic glances, but nobody is allowed to say anything

Izuku ends up getting his quirk from All Might, which he quickly tells you all about, and you are left to train with All Might and your brother throughout the Summer to become great for the UA entrance exam

“I promised that we’d be together forever. Even at UA, when it was thought to be impossible.”