#wilhelmina carstairs

[nocturnalmoonmind]

Just realised Mina’s second name, Yiqiang, translates to “remembrance”. If you connect it with her full given name “Wilhelmina”, it can be literally read as 'in remembrance of William’. I love how much Tessa and Jem actually love Will.

[vampire1diaries]

Rip Will Herondale, you would’ve loved Mina Carstairs

[rinadragomir]

𝐌𝐲 𝐅𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐊𝐞 𝐅𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐌𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬

𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝐾𝑒 ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑓𝑜𝑟 ℎ𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑟𝑒𝑑𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠, 𝑠𝑢𝑟𝑣𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑦𝑝ℎ𝑜𝑜𝑛𝑠, 𝑑𝑟𝑎𝑔𝑜𝑛𝑠, 𝑡𝑤𝑜 𝑠𝑒𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑖𝑛𝑣𝑎𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑏𝑦 ℎ𝑢𝑙𝑖 𝑗𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑟𝑖𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 17𝑡ℎ 𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑦’𝑠 𝐾𝑒 𝐿𝑖𝑗𝑖𝑛𝑔.

𝐋𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐝/𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝

@pleasantfoxchild @throughtthedarksworld @stupidbeautifulword @neo-lightchild-decafineator @darklingswhxore @livvyheronstairs @magnus-the-maqnificent @axoloteca @radisv @fortheloveofthecarstairs @eldestdaughterr @noah-herondale-lightwood @theresaherondalecarstairss @lescahiersdesable @my-archerboy @itsyourgirlathena @thestarkster1465 @fantasticcolorcloudflap @delightfullyterrible @elettralightwood @awecwightwood @megs-readstoomuch @dustandducks @notquitepunk-rock @min-unicorn @thewolfnephilim @cordelia-cardale @clarasmidnights @hotdog-frenchfries @shadowhuntingdemigod-blog @icycoolslushie  @starlight-in-my-eyes @literallytypogod @thelastfunctioningbraincell @raziyekroos @mxtthew-fxirchild-apologist @potato-jem @existential-crisis-grl @lily-chen-supremacy @larkace @lost-in-labyrinth @lenina-huntress @secretstryst @vashs-posts @you-drewstarsaroundmyscars @afloralrib @vierss-herondale @ninetthorn  @jaxlightstairs @stupidfuckindinosaur @fay-lans @lekawi @ipreferfictionoverreality @carelessflower

[4urum-4rgentum]

Some aged-up Wilhelmina carstairs fanart🙃

Mina, Max and Rafe

[scotianostra]

On November 9th 1847 in Edinburgh, Sir James Young Simpson delivered Wilhelmina Carstairs while chloroform was administered to the mother, the first child to be born with the aid of anaesthesia.

Earlier that year, Simpson started using ether to relieve the pains of childbirth, but he was dissatisfied with the smell, the large quantity needed, and the lung irritation it caused. Ether was also highly explosive, which made it dangerous to use in candlelit rooms heated by fireplaces. It was then that David Waldie, a chemist from Liverpool, recommended chloroform to Simpson.

After the recommendation, Simpson and his two friends experimented with it. At first, they felt very cheerful and talkative. After a short time, they passed out. Impressed with the drug's potency, Simpson began using chloroform as an anaesthetic. The following is an account of the birth I found on a blog about the street where she was born, Albany Street in the New Town.

Early in 1847 she (Jane Carstairs) did become pregnant and for the few days up to the birth lodged in Number 19 where, on 8 November, she began her labour. Dr Simpson was in attendance and after his patient had been in labour for three hours, the doctor decided to administer chloroform to see if it would assist in easing Jane’s labour.

Simpson recounted the historical moment: ‘(It was administered) by moistening, with 1/2 a teaspoonful of the liquid a pocket handkerchief rolled up into a funnel shape. In consequence of the evaporation of the liquid it was once more renewed in about 10 or 12 minutes. The child was born in about 25 minutes after the inhalation had begun. The mother subsequently remained longer stuporose than commonly happens after ether. The squalling of the child did not arouse her; and some minutes elapsed after the placenta was expelled, and after the child was removed by the nurse into another room, before the patient awoke. She then turned and observed to me that she had enjoyed a very comfortable sleep and indeed required it as she was so tired…. Shortly afterwards when the baby was brought in by the nurse from the adjoining room it was a matter of no small difficulty to convince the mother that the labour was entirely over and that the child presented to her was really "her own living infant".’ Thus, Mrs Carstair's daughter was the first child ever to be born with the aid of anaesthesia.

Two days later the drug was used four more times at Simpson’s Queen Street address to remove a tooth and for three surgical operations.

The first pic is of Wilhelmina Carstairs aged 18, there are articles around the net saying her name was actually called Anaesthesia, this is myth, although Anaesthesia” and “St. Anaesthesia” were affectionate nicknames Simpson had given the baby, so the story was obviously, borne out of this, the child was baptized Wilhelmina on Christmas day, 1847. Wilhelmina married in 1868 and died in 1910.

[culiehua]

so if jem's mom added carstairs to her name her full name would have been Wen Yu Ke Carstairs

and minas full name is Wilhelmina Yiqiang Ke Carstairs

giving them both the same initials and suddenly i am not ok and craving grandma Ke content. Violently

[celias]

Herondale-Carstairs siblings, The Shadowhunter Chronicles

“James’s always been so quiet, so studious. Lucie was the impetuous one. Wilhelmina is adventurous. While Christopher is persuading. But all four of them are kind, good-hearted children.”

[secretsdeblackthornhall]

De Jem et Tessa à Alec

Memo à l’attention du Consul Alec Lightwood

Re : Relations avec les elfes sauvages

Après plusieurs jours de tensions, nous sommes soulagés d’annoncer que les menaces à l’encontre de Christopher Herondale et Wilhelmina Carstairs semblent avoir été éliminées. Nous sommes entrés en contact avec Gwyn ap Nudd, de la Chasse Sauvage, qui nous confirme que la fée n’ayant prêté aucun serment connue sous le nom de Mère Hawthorn a été déplacée dans un lieu isolé, où elle sera détenue à l’avenir par la Chasse Sauvage.

Malheureusement, la sécurité de Christopher Herondale n’est toujours pas assurée sur le long terme. Je vous prie de trouver ci-joint, à loisir, de la correspondance personnelle contenant davantage de remarques et questions informelles.

Nous soussignés,

James Carstairs

Tessa Herondale-Carstairs

Cher Alec,

J’ai demandé à Jem d’écrire la partie formelle de ce rapport parce que ça me donne la migraine. Je m’en voulais de lui demander, mais il a balayé mes inquiétudes d’un revers de la main : apparemment aucun d’entre nous ne croirait la quantité de documents administratifs que les Frères Silencieux doivent remplir. J’en ai été étonnée parce que j’ai du mal à associer « administratif » et « Cité Silencieuse », mais bon.

Bref, le rapport est exact. Julian Blackthorn, intelligent comme il est, a contacté Gwyn, qui a accepté de s’occuper de Mère Hawthorn. (Julian n’en avait parlé à personne, évidemment, parce qu’il aime ses révélations spectaculaires, comme nous nous en souvenons tous très bien.) Après avoir eu si peur, c’était vraiment magnifique quand la Chasse Sauvage est apparue, a saisi Mère Hawthorn et nous a ramené Mina.

D’ailleurs, Mina est heureuse, en bonne santé et absolument pas bouleversée, contrairement à ses parents. Elle était ravie au plus au point de voir la Chasse Sauvage, et depuis elle n’arrête pas de nous dire avec enthousiasme qu’elle a rencontré beaucoup de chevaux et que les chevaux sont ses amis. Kit, bien sûr, est au moins aussi bouleversé que nous, si ce n’est plus. Il l’a à peine quittée des yeux depuis son retour. Il dormait même par terre dans sa chambre. (Nous y avons installé un clic-clac après les deux premières nuits). Ça l’a fortement ébranlé. Il n’a pas beaucoup souhaité en parler, mais c’est évidemment très pesant pour lui. Depuis l’incident, il a ce regard inquiet que nous lui connaissons bien. Nous craignons qu’il ne commence à comprendre ce que son héritage peut réellement signifier, même si nous avons tout fait pour l’en protéger.

Malgré l’aide de Gwyn, ni Julian ni nous ne savons ce qu’il s’est passé exactement entre la Chasse Sauvage et Mère Hawthorn, et nous sommes peu disposés à le demander. Nous savons que le Royaume des Fées peut être cruel, qu’il est le plus cruel envers son propre peuple, et qu’il a un sens de la justice et de la discipline particulier, qui semble parfois très… inhumain. Ceci dit, nous faisons confiance à Gwyn, notamment parce que nous faisons confiance à Diana Wrayburn. S’il dit que Mère Hawthorn n’embêtera plus Kit, nous le croyons.

Nous ne savons toujours pas parfaitement ce que Mère Hawthorn a dit à Kit pendant qu’ils étaient seuls – quand nous pouvions les voir, et Mina aussi, mais pas les entendre. D’après Kit, c’était seulement ce à quoi nous pouvions nous attendre, mais quand il est revenu vers nous, il avait les yeux hagards. Je voudrais pouvoir exiger de savoir ce qu’elle a dit, ou quelles étaient ses menaces ou révélations, mais je sais que je ne peux pas. Il nous parlera quand il sera prêt.

Cela dit, nous ne savons pas si Mère Hawthorn a des alliés qui pourraient aussi connaitre le secret de Kit. Peu importe comment elle a essayé d’amadouer Kit, nous savons qu’elle a des intentions hostiles. Nous l’avions rencontré à Buenos Aires, avant même de savoir que Kit existait, et elle était très claire. Ses mots me sont restés en tête : « Un Premier Héritier existe encore dans ce monde. Quand le Premier Héritier émergera, dans toute la terrible gloire née du sang de la Cour des Lumières, de celui de la Cour des Ténèbres et de celui des Nephilim, j’espère qu’il détruira les Chasseurs d’Ombres ainsi que le Royaume des Fées. J’espère que le monde entier sera perdu. »

Je ne peux pas regarder Kit – étendu sur le clic-clac dans la chambre de Mina, la main serrée autour d’une des lattes de son berceau, même quand il dort – et penser « terrible gloire ». Il est comme n’importe quel autre Chasseur d’Ombres, une sorte d’ordinaire peu ordinaire. Il aime les films et les soirées spaghetti et il se ronge les ongles. Il n’est qu’une personne, pas un destin.

Pour l’instant, très peu de gens connaissent l’héritage de Kit. Emma et Julian, bien sûr, toi et Magnus, Jace et Clary… même les frères et sœurs de Julian ne savent pas, ou connaissent seulement un vague semblant de vérité. Mais à qui d’autre Mère Hawthorn a pu en parler ? Pas à la Cour des Lumières, certainement : nous sommes tous les deux sûrs que la Reine aurait déjà pris des mesures pour s’emparer de Kit si elle savait. Kieran sait, évidemment, mais nous ne savons à quels membres de la Cour il a pu en parler (d’après Emma, Mark et Cristina connaissent la situation en partie seulement). Kieran est clairement un allié, et sa Cour lui est fidèle. Mais il est facile d’imaginer qu’un courtisan audacieux (ou un elfe sauvage) ait pu découvrir cette histoire et cherche à en tirer profit.

Nous ne pouvons pas ignorer la réalité : les secrets comme celui de Kit finissent par être découverts et ne peuvent pas être protégés indéfiniment. Le garder au sein d’un petit cercle d’amis de confiance, rien qu’entre les Chasseurs d’Ombres, ça fait quand même une douzaine de personnes.

Ce qui nous amène à notre première véritable demande : Magnus pourrait-il venir à Cirenworth rapidement, pour renforcer les sortilèges de protection contre les incursions de ceux qui pourraient vouloir du mal à Kit ? Nous devons reconnaitre que ce n’est qu’une solution temporaire, mais pour l’instant c’est le mieux que nous puissions faire.

Pendant ce temps, nous sommes d’avis (et nous sommes certains que tu seras d’accord) que nous devons essayer de devancer cette menace. Nous avons sollicité Kieran pour que ses espions prêtent attention aux possibles rumeurs au sujet de Kit qui circuleraient dans le Royaume. Serais-tu disposé à faire la même chose, via l’Alliance ? Nous savons que ce n’est absolument pas le bon moment pour toi. Si nous avions pu, nous aurions tout à fait choisi un moment moins politiquement précaire pour présenter ce problème à l’Enclave. Sache que nous te soutenons et serons toujours à tes côtés. Nous nous sommes peut-être retirés de la vie active des Chasseurs d’Ombres, mais nous serons toujours présents si tu as besoin de nous.

Tu as assumé toutes ces responsabilités à un si jeune âge. Ne semble-t-il pas que les responsabilités se présentent toujours à nous Chasseurs d’Ombres trop tôt à l’aube de notre vie ? Je regarde mon cher Kit et je sais. Nous savons tous ce qui se prépare, comme lorsque l’on sait que le soleil va se coucher sur une journée que l’on souhaiterait infinie. La longue journée ensoleillée de l’enfance de Kit est presque terminée. Je tremble à l’idée de ce qu’il va devoir affronter à la tombée de la nuit.

Avec toute notre amitié,

Jem et Tessa.

Texte original de Cassandra Clare ©

Traduction d’Eurydice Bluenight ©

Le texte original est à lire ici : https://secretsofblackthornhall.tumblr.com/post/697286698428694528/jem-and-tessa-to-alec

[charlenasaxen]

Forever Fallen Quotes

“The mermaid glared at Kit, and Kit laughed”

“a second eyelid sliding in sideways and making the blink rather impressive”

“I saw you once, about eight years ago, when you were still . . . I only got one glimpse, but you seemed so hauntingly sad. And so hauntingly attractive.”

“Come on, Brother Hauntingly Attractive.”

“There’s no need to mention this to Tessa.”

“And yet,” said Kit, “I’m gonna.”

“One was being pursued by a werewolf, who was yelling that the faerie had unfairly snatched the last hat in her size”

“winged shadow darkened a golden head and broad shoulders that struck Jem as familiar.

“Isn’t that Jace? I think that’s—”

“Herondales were always flames, he thought. They loved and suffered as if they would burn away with the sheer force of their own fire.”

“The man, who had never had the chance to be Jace Herondale and who was no longer Jace at all”

“My father gave me a classical education,” Janus told her. “To go with my classical good looks.”

That had made the Queen laugh. “I see some things do not change, no matter the world.”

“Nobody in this world could know what he had been forced to become”

“let them think that the Jace of this world made a regular practice of haunting the Shadow Market. He had nothing invested in protecting that Jace’s reputation.”

“slapped the first werewolf upside the head.

“Do you know who you’re talking to?” he demanded. “That’s Jace Herondale, the head of the Institute.”

“Please forgive him. He’s from a horrible desert wasteland and he doesn’t know what’s going on,” said the other werewolf.

“I’m from Ohio!”

“That’s what I said.”

“He’s also the Consul’s parabatai,” said the werewolf. “You know, Alec Lightwood.”

Janus felt something twist deep in his gut.”

“he’d imagined them unchanged. Alec as Consul. He couldn’t imagine it.”

“she quailed when his eyes fell on her, but he paid the price she and the warlock demanded. It was exorbitant. He would have paid more.”

“Clary was the bravest person he knew.

The illusions were never convincing enough. No illusion could love you back.”

“He fooled himself for another moment, pressing his lips against her forehead, then her cheek, then burying his face in the cloud of her bright hair.”

“Oh, my darling,” he murmured, reaching for his knife as her eyes widened in realization and fear. “My darling. Why did you have to die?”

“Wilhelmina Yiqiang Ke Carstairs. For their lost Will”

“more surely he believed that life was a wheel, coming full circle, and bringing you to those you were meant to love”

“But—she’s so beautiful,” Jem said helplessly.

“And where might she get that from?”

“You’re not Jace,” said the vampire girl. “What are you?”

“I am Jace Herondale,” he told her. It was a relief to say it to someone. “A stronger, better Jace Herondale than you have”

“You’re the girl Raphael Santiago started a war for.”

Lily abruptly and entirely ceased fighting.”

“Janus said slowly, lost to memory, to the time when Clary fell and the world broke”

“he led every vampire he could, and some of the werewolves, out of the talks. He set the building on fire as he went. I had to pull Sebastian out from the burning rubble.”

“He’s alive?” Lily’s voice was sharp”

“Raphael’s alive?”

The words burst out of her mouth. “Take me to him.”

“Her hands were no longer shoving at him, but clinging to him, almost pleading”

“She liked Jace, Janus realized. She trusted him. Some part of her still thought Janus was her friend.”

“Would it help if I told you that you were still hot?”

“Probably not,” Janus said.

“Don’t repeat that to the other Jace,” said Lily. “He shouldn’t be encouraged.”

“I think some people might find you more hot. Little less of a pretty boy, little more rugged thing going on.”

“I’m not hitting on you, by the way, I’m just making observations”

“Still a one-woman man, huh?”

“Still,” Janus said very quietly.”

“she was wild and clawing and frantic to believe him. Hope made everybody a fool.”

“all you had to do was first make sure they were desperate. Janus should know that well enough. He’d been desperate for years.”

“As if Janus was planning to have any conversations with the other Jace, the one from this world, the one who’d gotten lucky”

“Then he would kill this world’s version of himself and take his place. Beside Clary.”

“Hey,” Kit said to the baby, speaking seriously as if to a teammate”

“promptly looked horrified and belatedly tried to cover one of Mina’s ears.

“Please don’t tell Jem and Tessa I said that word in front of you!”

“Kit patted her on the back.

“There we go,” Kit murmured, sounding proud of himself. “It’s our secret.”

“crept back to his room, letting Kit return to his own bed believing he’d helped Jem and Tessa to rest”

“Janus kept thinking of that word, “Consul,” and Alec”

“He couldn’t pass himself off as Alec’s parabatai if he didn’t know about Alec’s life”

“It took Janus a moment to realize the strangest thing. Alec’s chest and shoulders were broader than they had been in his world. Alec had died when he was still a boy”

“Consul, thought Janus. You must be so proud.”

“watched him come with nervous delight.

“It’s our Consul!” said the werewolf girl.”

“Alec smiled crookedly into their silence and offered, “Hey, here for the festival?”

The faerie boy gasped out, “Yes!”

“My boyfriend, Clary had called Janus, a few times, and it had made him so happy to finally be hers, to think she might be proud he was hers.”

“He’d been embarrassed to show how happy he was. He remembered the emotions now and they prickled”

“You’re Jace Herondale,” breathed the werewolf girl, obviously thrilled. “Jace Herondale and Alec Lightwood. This is literally the best day of my life.”

“He made sure to close their eyes and clasp the girl’s hand safe in the boy’s before he smoothed the soil over them, so they were sleeping peacefully together. He gave them the death he would have wanted for himself.”

“Mina waved at the trees in loose uncoordinated movements, like a tiny queen accepting tribute”

“Mina and I journeyed far, and have returned bearing love and baked goods.”

“Kit beamed. “Really? Did someone really say that? Who said that?”

“Oh, is that good?” asked Jem.

“I have been working out,” said Kit happily”

“You want the other kids to think you’re cool, right, Min?” he asked her as she burbled agreement. “You’re lucky I’m here.”

“not before Jem saw his face flush, pleased and shy”

“Janus remembered when they were kids, how whenever he or Isabelle wasn’t as good as Alec was, Alec would practice with them endlessly”

“Eventually he seemed to become concerned Alec might win, and he picked up the ball and ran away with it”

“Janus had forgotten how much more Alec had begun to smile”

“Alec hadn’t lived long enough to learn how to do that, not in the confident way he was now”

“Even in death, there seemed no way to break Alec’s grip”

“information Sebastian craved and that Alec had died to hide”

“The desolate lack where the parabatai bond had been screamed. It was one of the few times Janus was able to think, Kill him.”

“What’re you doing, Uncle Jace?” asked the warlock boy, clutching his ball and clearly pleased at making a much greater discovery. His round face was smiling and curious.”

“put his arms around Janus’s leg. Janus’s hand tightened on his knife.

“I love you, Uncle Jace,” the boy whispered”

“It would be a quick, clean kill, and better for Alec, in the end.

“Max!” Alec shouted. He didn’t sound concerned now, but if there was no response, he would be.”

“Max, thought Janus. Long ago, the youngest Lightwood”

“He let go of the boy. His hands were shaking too much to hold on to either.”

“Janus did not follow them out of the park. He stayed by the gates and watched them go.”

“The words of Janus’s parabatai oath echoed in his head, worse than a death sentence. Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried. He had not kept his oath”

“he’d wanted to. Death would have been welcome. Death would have meant being with Clary.”

“in the other world, when Sebastian was sleeping, Janus had gone back for Alec, but the bodies had vanished”

“He hoped Maryse had burned Alec and Magnus both. He wished that a kind wind had carried their ashes away, and let them stay together.”

“they collected up everything they could think of and placed all their most prized possessions in Kit’s room, lining them up on tables and windowsills”

“we wanted to show you something. We want you to know there is nothing in this house more precious to us than you.”

Kit had stayed.”

“Ash was draped over a sofa, long legs stretched”

“Black silk, green velvet. Nothing but the finest for her boy.”

“When he looked in Ash’s eyes, green as springtime, green as new beginning, he thought of someone else entirely”

“He didn’t like it much in Faerie, but Ash was here. He’d needed a secure place for Ash. Ash was going to change everything. Ash was the key. Nothing bad could happen to him.”

“For a while Sebastian played with Ash, tried to teach him, but Sebastian grew tired of his toys quickly and broke them”

“Once Sebastian had been training Ash, and Ash had made a mistake. Sebastian had gone for Ash with a whip.”

“Sebastian’s face was startled and offended when Janus moved between them and caught the lash”

“Ash’s face changed when he transferred his gaze from Sebastian to Janus, lingering on Janus’s bloody hands. When Ash’s eyes were not so hard and guarded, he reminded Janus of Clary.”

“You’ll see. I’ll make you proud.”

“Sebastian and Janus both leaned forward, Janus sick with a pain he did not understand”

“Janus’s hands itched.

He had beaten Sebastian once, long ago, when he was someone else.”

“But I tried harder, because I loved my father and I wanted to please him”

“Then there was Robert and Maryse and Isabelle and Alec, always Alec”

“so I could protect myself. Because they loved me. I was better than Sebastian. I was better.”

“Janus could teach him everything, so Ash would always be safe. He did not know why, but it was important that Ash always be safe.”

“he thought that when Ash was grown, he might beat Sebastian too”

“he couldn’t help smiling a small smile down at Ash”

“his green eyes passed with total withering indifference over Sebastian, and caught on Janus. Ash smiled up at him.

Janus went cold.”

“My father, my sister, my son. They were all mine. And yet they all wanted you more. Valentine’s sweet boy. Clary’s golden prince. Ash’s guardian angel.”

“This was why. This was why. Nothing Janus felt for Ash was real.”

“He thought of that later, when he bound Ash’s wounds”

“If Ash had power over him, Janus thought, he didn’t use it. He never ordered Janus to do anything he didn’t want to do.”

“He couldn’t say: He wants to hurt you, and I don’t. That would be impossible. Janus and Sebastian only wanted the same things.”

“Janus ended up on his knees in the ashes, trying to choke out the words. Ash did what his father had never done, and went on his knees too. He’d put his arms around Janus.”

“Come with me,” he said.

“I can’t,” Janus gasped through waves of agony. “You know I can’t.”

He screamed then.”

“Ash hates Sebastian now, Janus realized, and he knew that he’d made everything worse”

“Sebastian had died instead, and now Janus and Ash were in another world”

“It had not been easy to get here. But it was worth it. Everything could be different here.”

“It always made him feel steadier, in this world and the other, to look at Ash. Sebastian’s son, with Clary’s green eyes. The only thing besides Sebastian Janus was allowed to love.”

“Ash, who was all Janus had.

For now.”

“Once Sebastian had told Janus that Sebastian was always burning, but it was better when he had Janus, when they were burning together. Now Sebastian was dead, and Janus was still burning. Ash laid a cool hand on Janus’s shoulder.”

“Janus lifted his head, for Ash’s sake. “I will be,” he promised. “Soon.”

“Ash’s eyes were green ice. They didn’t look anything like Clary’s then.”

“his phone pressed between shoulder and ear.

“Yes, I got the cupcakes,” he added. “And you’re doing your job, right? Keep all the Lightwoods out of the kitchen!”

“Don’t tell her I said that! Are you telling her I said that literally while you are on the phone with me?”

“After a dazed moment, Janus realized who it was. Isabelle, alive. Isabelle, striking poses and laughing. Alec went to the window and gave her a hug, one-armed”

“Janus had been with Valentine, and then with Sebastian, longer than he had been with these, his family”

“it had seemed like a sentimental dream—more of your weakness, Jace—that he’d ever had the Lightwoods at all. Alec, Isabelle, Max, Maryse, Robert. His family.”

“There was brightness at the edge of Janus’s vision, as there often was, taunting and tormenting, never coalescing into anything real. Except this time, it did.”

“So many times since Clary died, Janus had swung around thinking he would see her, hoping desperately for a ghost, for a whisper, for anything but this endless darkness”

“He had to stop wishing for her, stop hoping for her, stop searching for her. He had to burn his heart out”

“No matter where he looked, she was never there.

Until now.”

“she did not fade away or go wrong. This time, she was real.”

“She’d died in his world when she was a girl, but here she was a woman”

“She glowed like a light. She was everything.

Wherever you are is where I want to be.”

“He was dizzy with the yearning to hold her, overwhelmed by the urge”

“He could see himself doing it: going to her, going to them. Telling Clary everything, and resting at last, with his head on her knee.

Then he came into the room”

“He was all in black, as Janus was, but he was smiling: looking around easily, casually”

“Alec smiled at him. Isabelle leaned over and poked him in the side”

“And Clary, Clary, his Clary—she lifted her beautiful face up to his and gave him a kiss.”

“Why should he have everything, when Janus had nothing?”

“The rain hit the windows and blurred those within from his sight. He strained to see a glimpse of Clary’s bright hair, and could not. She was lost to him again. He was bitterly tired of her being lost. He couldn’t breathe with the pain”

“he could scream out all the agony in his soul. He tried, but as in a nightmare, no sound came out.”

“Janus wanted to remember Clary’s face at the window. But he could not see hers without seeing Jace’s.”

“That smooth young face, the bright head held arrogantly high, the clear golden eyes that had never seen his parabatai dead, the hands that had never killed”

“That face had never known a world blackened and ruined after the loss of Clary. That was the boy who fought on the side of the angels, all grown up. Valentine’s sweet boy. Clary’s golden prince.”

“Janus understood the wretched, murderous jealousy in Sebastian’s voice now, the jealousy of all you could never be.

Janus could never be that boy again or the man he had become.”

“His shuddering breaths sounded almost like sobs, but he stopped breathing when he heard her voice”

“Janus crept to the mouth of the alleyway. It still seemed impossible to believe, but she was there.”

“Say no more! Simon the former Downworlder and his trusty parabatai are on their way”

“Clary half turned toward him”

“This was another world. There were still angels here.”

“She stepped closer to him. His hand tightened”

“He knew that to approach her in his current state was madness, but she was so close. . . .”

“I chased after you,” he said, his voice sounding strange to his own ears.”

“She lifted the umbrella so it sheltered him, too, and leaned slightly against him”

“No more fantasies, no more dreams. He knew then that none of the illusions he’d tried to fool himself with had ever even come close.”

“He’d been crawling across the scorching sand of the desert where her dead body lay for years, but now there was a shimmering oasis”

“She was here. She was alive again. She was with him, and he would have suffered through every long day of every hopeless year again to touch her for a moment more.”

“Clary was warm, and breathing. She was staying that way, no matter what he had to do or who he had to kill to keep her safe”

“She leaned against him with perfect trust.

A rain-bright curl brushed against Janus’s shoulder, and he felt blessed”

“her voice indescribably sweet in his ears”

“He wanted her to go on talking, to let him hold her and drink up every word”

“His voice cracked. “I—I missed you.”

She had to believe him. He had never meant any words so much.”

“Aw,” said Clary, her cheek against his shoulder. “Nobody but me would ever believe you’re as sweet as you are.”

His whisper was hoarse. “Nobody but you would ever believe I’m sweet at all.”

She laughed. He’d made her laugh. It had been so many silent years since he last heard that sound.”

“Janus breathed in the scent of her hair. “I’ll keep you safe.”

“Janus held on, crushing her against him. He would not let her leave him. Not again.

She lifted her head. He glimpsed her beautiful face in a flash of moonlight”

“No. No. You believe it’s me, you know it’s me, you know I’m the one who really belongs with you.

The words stuttered through Janus’s mind. He wanted to quiet the unease”

“He wanted her to lean against him again. Her touch made the world right.”

“You will come back. But not to me.”

“She smiled when he did, clearly puzzled”

“She knows, he thought in terror, but then he had his reward.

She stood on tiptoe and kissed him on his starving mouth.”

“The memory of a thousand years ago came to him, kissing Clary in an alley full of rain, the feel of her wet skin, the scent of her sweat and perfume”

“Her arms were around him”

“He could scarcely breathe, but he would rather have her than air. The kiss painted every shadow gold.”

“She pressed her fingers to her lips. Her eyes searched his face, even as his heart beat unevenly in his chest.”

“I love you,” he told her. “So much. Someday you’ll know how much.”

“Jace,” she said”

“Janus crumpled as the van peeled away, falling to his knees on the drenched and dirty cement. He kissed the ground where Clary had stood.”

“He had barely been able to fool Clary for a few stolen moments in the dark”

“she might ask Jace why he’d been acting so strange. . . . Janus couldn’t bear to think of it. He could never fool them all”

“he was soaked to the skin, shaking with cold and rage”

“He hated and loved Clary in equal measure and it was like poison”

“For all these years he had been tortured and they had not noticed or cared or missed him”

“Read that book,” Tessa said with a faint smile.

“Saw that movie,” returned Kit.”

“But I wanted to tell you that your mother, the lost Herondale, the descendant of the First Heir—she loved you. She never wanted to leave you.”

“the happiest time for her was the time when she returned to your father, and they lived together”

“a melody that ran like a river beneath the bridge of his wife’s voice, the melody he loved best in all the world”

“It could all have been darkness for him, and silence, forever, until he lost hope even for what came after death”

“a girl who had traveled to him across the sea, impossible and magical and beautiful beyond stories or music, a girl who would live forever”

“Jem played a song for Will, for all those he loved on the farthest shore”

“One day they might be parted, but they could remember this moment and this melody”

“The story that I love you,” Tessa sang. “It has no end.”

Jem believed her.”

“He has the arrogance of luck and being loved”

“But would you really want all of them to love you and believe you were him? Or would you rather be loved as your own self?”

“The Queen had always wanted him to stay in the house of mirrors by the sea, he realized that now. She wanted him to be Ash’s guardian, Ash’s guard”

“The Queen was right.

This time Janus did not catch Ash by surprise.��

“there was a bright expectancy on Ash’s face that was almost like hope”

“Ash only had Janus, but Janus would not fail him as his parents had”

“I just sometimes look out to see if you might come. That’s all.”

“Janus didn’t think his shrug was as indifferent as Ash made it seem.

“I saw Clary,” Janus said quietly.”

“My last hope, Janus wanted to say. I will always love you and never leave you. I knew this world must be better than ours, because you come from this one.”

“What would you say if I said I would stay with you?”

“I thought that you—once you started traveling to the human world so often—”

“I didn’t know that”

“I don’t,” said Janus, a swell of warmth, like a small tide, lifting his heart. “I never felt any differently about you in the mundane world than I do when you’re right next to me. You’re mine.”

“Janus and Ash could both belong.

This was a second chance.”

“Janus could protect Clary. He could keep his family safe. Everybody he loved, starting with Ash.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” murmured Janus.

“I know,” said Ash. “That’s why it’s okay.”

“Janus still breathed. Sebastian was dead, and Janus and Ash were free.”

“Ash had been a captive most of his life, a winged thing in a golden cage”

“Janus shouldn’t have left Ash alone, but he’d make it up to him”

“Janus would do better than tell Ash hollow words. Ash must be defended. If he had to, Janus would deal with anyone who posed a threat to Ash”

“if they dared threaten Ash, if anyone ever dared threaten Ash again”

“The blue waves crashed against the stones, miles down from the cliff”

“Janus recall a poem about the ocean in Faerieland”

“It’s a beautiful world out there,” Janus answered. “I was thinking I’d wrap a bow around it and give it to you.”

“Janus would have Clary, and Ash would have the world. They only had to wait.”

“Jem could feel the cat’s purr reverberating through his chest, as if his heart and the cat’s contentment were combining to form the same song”

“I know how he likes to be petted,” said Kit. “By you and no one else.”

“I saw you running laps at dawn,” Jem observed.

“Wow, that’s a horrible thing to say about anybody.”

“I don’t think demons will be impressed by my card tricks. Though they are pretty excellent.”

“to find love like his parents’ love, transforming and sanctifying. He had to last, until love came.”

“If you’re asking whether I’m working out my emotional pain through a punishing physical regimen,” said Kit, “my answer is obviously a manly yes.”

“I was hoping time would speed up when I did, and a rock soundtrack would start up, and I would get buff via a montage”

“I said that to somebody once,” said Jem. “A long time ago. He did train with me. And now I’ll train you.”

“Do you still think about him a lot?”

“I loved him better than I love myself”

“I wasn’t enough. I’ve never been enough, not for anyone, and I’m trying, but I don’t know if I ever will be.”

“when people were wounded they hurt others. They were all very young, and Kit had not been with them long.”

“I could feel the poison coursing in my veins. And I remember lying curled in a cabin at the bottom of a boat, on my way to England”

“I thought I might die that way, that I couldn’t bear the torture of loving and losing someone, not ever again. But then . . . there was Will, and I loved him, and he loved me.”

“If your father’s heart was too little and wretched to love someone else after losing your mother, then I pity him, but I know it was his fault. None of yours.”

“The search for the lost Herondale, Jem refusing the Greater Demon Belial’s temptations, Jem being turned away and then called back by Rosemary Herondale, had all led to this.”

“Where there is love, Kit,” he murmured into the wild gold of his hair, “there is no need for gratitude. And I love you.”

“He held Kit until Church growled jealously and tried to squirm in between them”

“Let’s go be with our family.”

“think, Will, my Will. You would be so proud.”

“his long-awaited home”

“sunset had dyed the clouds a color darker than gold. This evening the whole sky was bronze, as though to summon wicked powers.”

[vickchan2]

Herongraystairs in a nutshell

[achaiapelides]

Kit's Diary

Chapter 11

Dear Ty,

do you sometimes also have those days when nothing works and you get reminded of your past mistakes no matter what you do? I have one of them today. Everything reminds me of you and the worst part is that it's not like I'm mourning somebody who died. You're very well alive, there's no reason for me to be sad. It's just that you don't feel the same I feel for you. It could be so much worse. I always keep telling myself that I shouldn't mourn someone who didn't even die, but that only makes it worse. Now I not only feel sad, but also frustrated that I cannot control my own emotions.

I tried to do my homework, but I get distracted, I even started tidying up my room - but somehow I ended up in my bed curled up in the sheets and crying.

I would have probably spend the whole day like this, if Mina didn't barge into my room and demanded, that I went to the store with her to buy her favourite cookies. Well actually it was just "Kit. Store. Cookie. Mamndad busy." That's all a one and a half year old toddler can say.

Since I couldn't say no to Mina, I went to the store with her to buy cookies and some other groceries. On the way there she asked: "Kit cry. Why sad?", so I told her all about you and what happened between us. I don't think she understood everything, but she kept chanting "Kit love Ty! Kit love Ty!" the whole way to the store and even told the cashier. It was so cute. When I returned home, I actually got enough motivation to get some of my homework done. Maybe I should spend more time with Mina when I get like this. She can cheer everyone up.

Now I'm in my bed again because it's night and I need to sleep. But here I am, yet again thinking about you. I really miss you. Sometimes I hope you can feel when I miss you, but of course that's nonsense. Maybe, if I imagine that you're lying next to me, I can fall asleep.

I hope you can sleep better than me.

Love, Kit

Hello everyone,

I know I just wanted to take a break in February to finish my term paper, but then I read Chain of Thorns and got so emotional afterwards, that I had to keep myself from making this fanfiction too sad. So I needed a Chain of Thorns-recovery month, but I have recovered now and will hopefully be able to update this story every Monday again.

Also, yes I know it's Tuesday today, I just forgot to post this yesterday. Oops.

Anyways, I have a question for you: Do you have any ideas what should definitely happen in this story? Because I'm lacking some new ideas. So if you want, please leave some ideas in the comments.

Thank you 😁

[cuebooks]

Alastair Carstairs 🤝 Kit Herondale

Being amazing big brothers to their little Carstairs sisters

[rinadragomir]

MINA CARSTAIRS HELLO THIS IS LITERALLY HER LOOK AT HER SHE'S JUST LIKE JEM BUT WITH TESSA'S VIBE 🤌🏻

[zoya-herondale]

[i-am-trying-my-best-okay]

I hope Kit just imagined it when Tessa stepped in front of Mina as if to protect her from Kit holding a gun, cause if not, I'm going to be furious. Like, he's already got a complex that everyone around him is in danger because of who he is, he does not need this extra layer right now.

[tessagrayfighter]

Some head canons: but this time it’s wholesome

Tessa definitely does the whole mommy trend of making her and Mina matching princess gowns and taking a bunch of photos (Kit and Jem have matching suit vests made from the same material)

On the same note,Tessa knows how to sew. First from not growing up with a lot of money before moving to London and needing to mend her own clothes, second form being a Shadowhunter and needing to mend gear and third for living with Magnus in Paris and helping him maintain the monstrous amounts of clothing he has acquired over the centuries.

Kit makes the whole family watch the entire library of the mcu.

Mina really isn’t really old enough to comprehend that both her parents are over 150 years old. It’s lead to some funny moments with mundanes. Like she’s two and doesn’t understand that it’s not a normal thing.

In that same note she’s picked up a lot of old fashioned idioms that Kit is trying his best to rectify ( like who does this two year old think she is talking like a Victorian baby ghost)

Jessamine is pissed when she is the last to know about Jem and Tessa having a kid ( even more so because she heard it from Jace, not Kit)

Emma and Jules visit and Emma likes to play fight Mina ( they use carrots as swords)

Mina hears about James and Lucie and refers to Lucie as the brave princess Lucie and Jamie as the cruel prince James to show solidarity to her older sister.