#wild time but such a good experience to have

[multiheadcanons]

TF2 MERCS AND FAMILY

scout: he loves his ma. he loves his ma so much if you even think about thinking about making a your mom joke he is genuinely on the verge of losing his shit. his ma is not a joke. she was a wonderful lady who did the best she could at all times and everyone better respect it before he respectfully shoves his foot so far up their asses they’ll be tasting his toes until christmas. he didn’t know his dad, so he doesn’t care. insult the fact he doesn’t have a dad all you want. but keep his ma’s name out your fuckin mouth. i know people like to think he’s got brothers, frankly i think he’s got cousins. all boys, from his ma’s side. about four of them. the genes are very strong on his ma’s side, so they look like they could be brothers. they were hellions. couple of them have chilled out at this point, and scout respects them for it. even if it is weird with them being dads and shit. couple of them haven’t, and he respects that too. at least they didn’t bother to lie about it.

soldier: soldier had decent parents. his dad was a drunk, and was pretty emotionally distant, but as far as he knows was never a mean or violent person. his mom was a nice old lady. no nonsense, no coddling. she was a woman with a good head on her shoulders surrounded by fools. they had both passed by the time he took the job in teufort. he misses them sometimes, but he’s glad his parents are able to rest. comforted snipes when he heard about his parents. he knows snipes really loved them. only child; his parents had fertility issues and didn’t try again after they succeeded with him. they just didn’t have the heart for it. he sees the team as his brothers. he fights with those guys (and pyro), sometimes he actively fights those guys (and pyro), and frankly is that not what brothers do?

pyro: pyro doesn’t really remember their mom or dad, but they remember their older sister! about twelve years older than them, they did most of the parenting. it wasn’t good parenting, and they argued and physically fought a lot with their sister, but as pyro grew up pyro came to understand that their parents… probably weren’t good people if their sister had to raise them. they don’t know where their sister is, but they did take the time to locate their parents, with the support of the team behind them, helping lead the charge. it was a disheartening, frankly frightening experience to see them withering away in a nursing home, but they barely knew them. they don’t know why it aches so much. they don’t know why they’re so scared. they see the team as their family. those are the people who have shown pyro they will always be there. they don’t think the team would just leave them somewhere to die. the team loves them for who they are. and they love the team. most of the team. no, no, all of the team, all of them. they just love some of them more than others.

demo: demo’s dad passed about a decade before he took the job. a jolly man. a drunk. easygoing. down for anything. demo realized after he passed he was the one who kept his mom from imploding with neuroticism. but he loves his mom. the firecracker she is. he remembers her when he was really young. she was a woman who was simply always on the ball. intelligent, creative, brutal. a giantess of a woman, though she stands five feet two. they’re on good terms as long as he’s got a job. most of the degroots are chemists of the explosive subvariety; few made it to retirement. so he cherishes his mom. he’s glad to have her around. he had a lover at one point. genevieve. a wild woman, sporadic in her time in his life and explosive when she was in it. she brought life into him, more than he thought he could contain. any day with her was a total mindset shift for tavish. quite a few years his senior; one of the brightest chemists he grew to know in his higher educational, perhaps his professional life in general. a flame he could not stay away from. she was magnetic. she passed at 30, cutting their budding romance short. breast cancer. he couldn’t make it to her hometown to attend the funeral. he sent flowers to the next of kin. it floored him. he didn’t know how she would go, but he never thought it would be from something so mundane. thinks of her often.

heavy: heavy loved his dad, he supposes. very quiet man. it was hard when he passed. it was hard being the only man in a sudden matriarchy. and in a way, he was almost blinded. he didn’t see how well his mother actually had a handle on things as he grew to fill his father’s role. so as he matured, and took the job in teufort, he was constantly worried about them. he loves his mother. he honors his mother, prays the lord blesses her every step so she may leave nothing but life and light in her wake. he will actually fucking kill you if you even speak about his mother without his express permission. and his sisters… god help them. it has taken him a very long time to accept his sisters’ absolute abysmal tastes in men. he can’t even think about it he starts to gag. he loves his niece and nephew though.

engineer: engie comes from a big family of bright and creative minds. his mama had her masters in music theory, his dad had been an engineer, as his father before him, as his father before him. middle child of four. two boys, two girls. his younger brother became a hotshot doctor, his baby sister’s a vet; his older sister does underwater welding, and family reunions are hell to plan. he’s very proud of the family he comes from. he just wishes he wasn’t the one who got roped into the mann business. but he wouldn’t wish this on his siblings either. the siblings do a conference call every couple of months to make sure everyone’s still alive. they last maybe 30 minutes before someone is called away. his mom passed about three years into the job, and they cremated her because nobody could get the time to go to the funeral. their father followed shortly after; which they understood. he wasn’t the same man without her around.

medic: medic has been surrounded by intelligent, wild, wonderful women his entire life. he is the result of a teenage pregnancy, and he is his moms best friend. she had him when she was 16. with all credit to the man, his father did stick around. he struggled for them. but they did pretty okay as medic grew up. normally went with his mom to university and was cooed over. his dad died when he was 16 from a work accident. it rocked the home. he and his mother leaned on each other heavily in the grief, and he entered adulthood with a dear friend instead of a mother. but that’s okay, because he truly needed that. he loves his mother to death. and she is very proud of her son. she’s a zany woman, with a wild imagination. fully aware of what her son has become, and is simply happy that he found a place for himself that treats him well and isn’t jail. they call each other all the time to chat, and normally will entirely halt what they’re doing to spend time with each other. heavy’s met the woman. they have the same smile. he married his childhood best friend young. another pathologically high spirited, highly gifted woman. a chemist. genevieve. something about it never felt right (he’s gay.) but nobody could deny he loved that woman with every fiber of his being that he could spare. they were two peas in a pod. you couldn’t see one without seeing the other. the first person he came out to. she passed at 30. breast cancer. it destroyed him. he didn’t think he would survive to find someone he truly loved like her. keeps their wedding photo in his wallet.

snipes: oh man. ohhhhh man. do we have to go into it. he loves his stepparents so much. he loves them so much it hurts. he just wants to do right by them. the idea he’s failing them or has failed them or will fail them genuinely eats away at his soul. he knew he wasn’t gonna have long with them, that they were on the older side when he fell into their lap, and he was grateful for every moment he got with them. it wrecked him when they passed. and nobody was there to comfort him through it. as far as he knew, nobody tried to reach out. his real parents can get fucked though. he doesn’t hate them, but he does wish he didn’t spend so much time thinking about them either.

spy: youngest of two sons. came from a decent home. both parents were hard working and supportive. he and his brother were just brutes. they argued all the time, and his parents didn’t know how to even begin pacifying them both. his mother was a schoolteacher, and his father did paperwork for a nearby firm. they were fine, honorable jobs. made enough to live comfortably. it just wasn’t enough for him. for either of them. it wasn’t enough for one of them alone. his parents passed shortly after he reached adulthood, and he hasn’t spoken to his brother since the funeral. in a way, the team is his family. he has nothing left to go back to, that he knows of. he wouldn’t know who else to even turn to if he needed some backup muscle, or a medication, or a differing perspective, or a soundboard, or entertainment, or company, or support. the team has taken care of him, and in a way loved him, truly, for years. even if they weren’t explicitly in the room, they’ve seen him at his absolute worst. they’ve seen him at his absolute best! and stayed. and even if they don’t think it’s true, spy would be there for them if they needed him.

[thelivingautomaton]

MANNNNNNNNN ok. not to get my SEVERANCE brainworms all over the place but i literally cannot stop thinking about this show. also i keep reading theories on reddit and some of them are really good and some are unbelievably stupid/media-illiterate. so i am dumping my wild predictions/theorizing/thoughts on season 2 here. Please Enjoy Every Bullet Point Equally(TM)

OKAY let's get the big one out of the way: it seems pretty apparent now that cold harbor (and maybe all of the datasets mdr is given to "refine") is binning memories/experiences/brainwaves into severance chips, likely in order to reformat or rebuild someone's personality from the ground up.

this reddit post sums a lot of the evidence up but tl;dr you see an electron microscopy image of neural axons, as well as an etCO2 statistic, which is typically used to monitor respiration of someone who's in a coma or on ventilation

MOREOVER, the four aspects of mdr's data line up with kier eagan's four tempers (woe, frolic, dread, malice -- i've also seen it pointed out that this aligns with the four mdr workers, and in the original pilot script there's a reference to "needing" four workers, but iirc they all work on separate files??), and apparently one of his Whole Things(TM) was the idea that you can neatly sort a person's entire personality into those four boxes

the numbers provoke an emotional response in the refiner based on their interpretation of the data, which we can surmise is likely neural/electrical signals of some kind, specifically from brains that have been frozen or cryogenically preserved and are slowly being thawed. hence all the stress over "finishing" files on time, before they "expire" (i.e. brain thaws too much)

the opening credits for season 2 places a HUGE emphasis on big swollen misshapen heads, on brains, and also on ice...including a blink-and-you-miss-it glimpse of a crashed car sinking into the ice, which takes us into our next big point:

gemma obviously didn't die in the car crash BUT!!! lumon taking her and (presumably) replacing her body with a double (mark says he identified her but that she was also "burned" so that's obviously questionable) was actually something of a random fluke. for whatever reason the circumstances of her death made it so that she was ideal to use as a guinea pig for "part-time employment"

again, kind of going off the s2 opening credits here and the image of the car sinking into the ice -- obvs mark visited the tree where she crashed, but i feel like i remember he had to drive on a bridge overlooking a body of water to get there? maybe gemma and the car both fell in and were frozen (since everything in SEVERANCE apparently happens in the wintertime, lol)

i mean, it wouldn't surprise me if we learn that the car accident was "arranged" by lumon??? (either purely to harvest bodies or potentially if gemma turns out to have been involved in anti-eagan stuff on the DL) but idk, i don't love the idea cos i don't like it when shows try to tie LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE THING together into the big overarching mystery, y'know? like, some things are really just down to dumb luck and chance

i also don't think miss casey herself is a clone of gemma, so either her body was WAY less fucked up by the car crash physically than we might otherwise think, or lumon has some top-secret super-healing tech on the testing floor. maybe both!

ANYWAY, remember "allentown"? mark s's first-day fluke, where he completed a file in one day? that was him refining gemma into miss casey the first time around. YADDA YADDA LOVE TRANSCENDS SEVERANCE he literally put the splintered icy fragments of his dead wife back together again because she LIVES IN HIS VEINS guys. and now he's doing it AGAIN with cold harbor. this is why lumon was so desperate to keep him around even while they fired irving and dylan at the drop of a hat: they know he can get the job done, ESPECIALLY when it comes to working on gemma/miss casey. (see also: mark w commenting about how his team from the branch that shut down never made quota)

i've seen the idea tossed around that all the refiners are assigned to someone who was emotionally close to their outie (e.g. irving's deceased father) but i really don't think that's the case -- like, dylan says mark's freshman fluke let lumon devise new techniques for refining to cut down on the time it takes to finish a file, and istg i can see it perfectly in my head: cobel asking mark s how the FUCK he managed to do that and him just being like "i don't know, the numbers looked...scary??????" and her just. rolling with it.

(also i feel like that's why dylan's generally a good refiner -- he can read people! his outie knew what to say and how to act to impress the door factory guy in s2e2!)

so lumon really really needs cold harbor to work. if it's not because they care about gemma SPECIFICALLY for some secret reason, it must be that they care about the technique. lumon (i.e. the board and/or the eagan family), like so many corporate overlords before them, are selling immortality.

i'm on the fence about whether they're trying to resurrect/immortalize kier eagan specifically -- like it would make the most thematic sense, and they have a ton of material FROM his life certainly to work with, but he's supposed to have died in 1939 and cryonics tech just wasn't advanced enough at the time. but also the world of SEVERANCE is pretty distinct from our own so i guess it's plausible

i feel much more confident in saying they're trying to get the technique working specifically for the sake of current ceo jame eagan, who is an old decrepit fart. imo the "revolving" he mentions to helly in the s1 finale is key to this -- like, it kind of sounds like eagan-speak for rotating through/swapping into a new body???

this MIGHT be where the idea of cloning becomes involved, which i can see supported by the emphasis in the s2 opening credits on babies (including baby kier at the end ofc), but i also just had the even more fucked up thought that what if the end goal is to upload the eagans' personalities (and those of their chosen cronies) into the bodies of severed workers. hence the continued necessity for a severed working underclass as well as their ruling higher-ups -- it's a body farm, an endless cycle of severed workers toiling away to let the rich live on and then having their bodies/minds/souls co-opted when they've lost their other utility. oh my god helly was right THEY LITERALLY ARE LIVESTOCK

guys holy shit what if the season ends with jame (or KIER) eagan's personality getting uploaded into miss casey's chip and overwriting miss casey (and also gemma?? idk i feel like mark scout/mark s are both going to have to come to terms with the idea that gemma as she was is capital-g Gone, even if her body and brain are still sort of alive). and then season 3 has dichen lachman chewing the scenery as creepy old man eagan. I THINK IT WOULD BE FUN AND ALSO FUCKED UP

okay so what about cobel, right? like, obviously she's been drinking the eagan kool-aid, she is All In on immortalizing kier (or jame or whoever). but there's more to it than that!!! she's the one harping on about reintegration being real and possible, AND she's desperate seeking for any signs of it during mark s and miss casey's wellness sessions. why? cobel wants to revive her mother charlotte (we see her medical tag on cobel's eagan shrine), but she wants HER MOTHER, not a blank slate -- in other words she's rooting for the chips to not function properly in order to truly resurrect someone who's been dead

in particular i think this is why she flipped her lid on mark at the end of s2e2 when he asked what she knew about gemma -- like, idk maybe it's confirmation bias at play but to me her primal scream felt like it was coming from a place of...jealousy? like, "how DARE you ask me that, how are YOU the one who's allowed to get your loved one back and I'M being promoted up the ladder so lumon can get me out of the way even though MY motivations are pure". that kind of thing

cobel's attitude towards lumon and helena in s2e2 is SUUUUUUPER ambiguous -- i think she's going to turn from outright enemy into kind of a weird "enemy of my enemy is my friend" thing this season?? especially since i got the feeling that she really did kind of care about mark and devon in her own supremely weird, fucked-up way

oh god you guys. what if her "mrs selvig" persona was cobel imitating her own mother, mid-atlantic accent and corny outdated references to clark gable and all. FUCK

also the fact that she's looking for miss casey and mark s to remember each other implies that reintegration is possible even without outside interference with the chip itself (i.e. however reghabi reintegrated petey). and you know what?

i think she's right.

THE BIG BOY THEORY: MARK SCOUT AND MARK S WILL START TO SPONTANEOUSLY REINTEGRATE THIS SEASON

i will live and die on this hill, ben stiller i swear to FUCK

what's the overriding symbolism in the season 1 opening credits?? the line between innie and outie is porous (or "mushy", if you will). black sludge seeping from the trash cans that's made of all your other selves (also reflecting how irving dreams of his outie's black paint). mark's innie and outie selves constantly chasing circles around one another until at the end they both collapse on the bed...and then collapse together as a single person.

what's the overriding symbolism in the season 2 opening credits???? not just "mark scout, i.e. mark in red pajamas, delving into lumon's mysteries", not just "mushy confusion of innie and outie feelings re: helly and miss casey" -- mark's innie and outie selves working together. innie mark pulling outie mark out of the severance chip. innie mark hoisting up the curtain dividing outer and inner worlds to let outie mark through. innie mark CARRYING OUTIE MARK IN HIS ARMS. do you see the fucking vision.

of course that's also coupled with the final image of the credits: mark bursting through and out of his own head. which i think emphasizes that there's going to be conflict as well as cooperation between mark's disparate selves (especially when it comes to everything involving the helly/mark/casey love triangle)

why did mark look like he was having a goddamn seizure when he was coming down the elevator. why did he glimpse a mysterious figure following him in the hallway. WHY THE FUCK WAS HIS VERY FIRST INSTINCT TO BOLT FOR WELLNESS AND LOOK FOR MISS CASEY!!!!! (okay this could also conceivably be due to him yelling to devon that she was alive literally one second ago but still)

i think mark's "spontaneous reintegration" is also more or less an insane fluke, basically a product of the fact that he's now working on gemma/miss casey's refinement data AGAIN and both his innie and outie selves are starting to blur together regarding their shock and turmoil over the realization that gemma is alive (and probably loads of other stuff too while we're at it).

but idk, maybe spontaneous reintegration also occurs naturally over time? irving is also having some bleed-through and iirc he's been at lumon the longest of all of them

shit dude. what if outie burt ALSO has bleed-through and that's why he followed irving and was crying. honestly what the fuck was even the deal with that, i don't know!!!!

anyway i imagine that "spontaneous reintegration" would really put a kibosh in lumon's plans to permanently rewire and wipe the brains of severed folks in order to pave the way for an immortal ruling class. also i thought the way they did petey's hallucinatory flip-flopping between his lives/selves was awesome and i would like more of that, please. (also: i miss petey, y'all)

i think if they do end up going this route it's gonna be spoonfed to us pretty slowly though -- like, s2 will slowly build up the mystery of "what the fuck's going on with mark reintegrating", then s3 is his two selves coming to terms with...All Of That

those are all of my big idea theories but i also have some smaller bullet points to address:

dylan's gonna visit his family in the """visitation suite""" and it 100% is going to be paid lumon actors. and the giveaway is gonna come at the end of the episode when we cut back to outie dylan's life and his wife (or one of his other kids, who knows) is terminally sick (maybe wheelchair- or bed-bound?), hence outie dylan's desperation to find another job post-firing

that is one million percent helena eagan down on the severed floor (although i can see the argument for it being helly r and she's just not comfortable sharing her real experience on the outside). her shady story aside, i think britt lower is CRUSHING IT as "helena pretending to be helly but it's kind of off-putting and fake because it's helena's idea of how helly would behave". like, it's giving me the same vibes as in FRINGE when fauxlivia pretends to be olivia and then seduces/sleeps with peter. real ones know

RICKEN IS NOT A FUCKING SECRET EAGAN!!!!!! DEVON IS NOT SECRETLY IN ON ANYTHING (besides keeping her brother safe)!!!!!! HIS FRIENDS ARE JUST PRETENTIOUS SHITHEELS!!!!!!!!!!!!

as much as i would literally chew glass (positive) for mark s and miss casey to be A Thing, i feel like narratively and thematically it's not gonna work with the show's overarching themes of like, struggling to process grief and selfhood and figuring out what makes you you (or someone else their own independent self). gemma is Gone and you can't bring her back and you can't cut yourself off from the grief and the pain. mark has to reintegrate (literally and metaphorically/emotionally) in order to resolve his issues and move on

this show is so!!!!!! OOOOOUUUUGGGGHHGHGHH

[velvet-n-lace]

NSFW Alphabet (Asmodeus Edition)

Series: Obey Me!

Genre: Smut/Headcanon

Word Count: 2k words

Pairing(s): Asmodeus x Female MC

Original Template by @/the-coldest-goodbye 

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Asmo is an absolute sweetie. He will make sure you are comfortable and cleaned up with a warm bath in his candle-lit bathroom. His soft kisses on your rose-scented body and sweet pillow talk will make you melt until you fall asleep in his arms.

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners)

He loves every part of himself, so there is no part he dislikes or hates. Asmo just knows that every part of him is worth drooling over, so he loves every part of you, too. Canonically, he is an ass man and often fixates on yours. While he can love the parts of you that turn him on, Asmo is especially fixated on your eyes. It’s most likely because he can see his reflection in them, and to him, that’s a sign you were meant to be his~

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)

By far the sweetest cum in the Devildom, it’s an aphrodisiac that will leave your senses heightened and your body in heat. Asmo especially loves watching it leak out your pussy after he creampies you. Sometimes, he fingers it back inside you; other times, he lets it stain his sheets. He loves it so much he can't help but also have a taste of himself when it gets all over his fingers.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Asmodeus is the motherfucking Avatar of Lust; hardly anything is a secret anymore unless you count this one time when he almost fed you aphrodisiacs back when his charm didn’t work on you. He had to stop himself before going through with it, but eventually, once the two of you were finally fucking each other, those aphrodisiacs were put to good use~ Also, maybe he keeps other wild kinks a secret just for your sake ;)

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Oh, he’s had experiences: he’s fucked a bunch of demons before meeting you. Asmodeus claims that he has tried everything, maybe even things you’ve never thought of in your life. He would be happy to share them with you if you like~

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)

Whether you want to top him or not, Asmodeus is fine with any position that makes you feel comfortable. His preference, though, is when he fucks you from behind with your ass in the air or having you straddle him. Doggystyle, prone bone, or fucking you cowgirl style are just a few positions where he can whisper dirty things in your ear while he spanks your ass.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

He’s sweet and sensual in the moment. Depending on the mood, it can be humorous if it's just sweet love-making, but he can also be serious when the fucking gets brutal. Asmo can adapt to any situation, and all you gotta do is look pretty for him (in other words, just exist).

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He is very well-groomed; it’s pretty obvious. He’s probably the most groomed out of all his brothers. He’s got make-up on, his nails are done, his perfume and lotion smell divine, and he has a rather time-consuming self-care routine. The perfume he wears is your favorite fragrance, and he is always searching for a compliment from you. His drapes match his carpet: peach-colored, trimmed constantly, and smooth like his skin.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.)

Very intimate. His smooth hands constantly graze your skin and make it more sensitive. His heavenly, seductive voice adds to his alluring presence, making you almost worship him. With his lips and tongue on your most sensitive spots, he would whisper all the things he would do to you. Asmo knows damn well what he’s doing, and seeing you melt in his touch gets him so hard.

J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon)

Asmo can do wonders with his body; not only does he have many sex toys to play with, but he often bends himself over to suck his own cock. Usually, he loves to stare at himself in the mirror when he masturbates; either that or he films himself so he can post it online later. Sometimes he fucks a fleshlight while he’s fucking himself with a dildo. As his soft silicone toys milk his cock and prostate, his sheets will be stained with cum.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Asmodeus has so many kinks (some would say all of them): Asmodeus loves being worshipped and praised for his body and abilities. Body worship, especially in front of his mirror, is on a whole other level; the many positions he can put you in can surprise you, especially when you’re watching yourself get fucked by the lustful demon himself. Sometimes there is porn playing in the background while you make love to him, and if you’re feeling freaky, he can take you to a sex club (he could even invite Solomon over). Asmo especially loves ass-play and wouldn’t mind fucking your backdoor or giving it a sloppy rim job (and he can receive it with ease. It’s obvious he’s into getting pegged too). Asmo isn’t afraid to switch positions or try something new for you, and all of this just scratches the surface. (AN: i could go on and on, anyway)

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Definitely, his room, where he can use all his toys on you. He can bring some over to your room too, and if you are feeling freaky, both of you can go to a club and bring in some horny demons to play with (kof kof… Solomon can come too). If both of you can find an empty classroom to make out in, that’d be exciting.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Pretty much everything you do instantly motivates Asmo, especially if you are teasing and flirting back at him. Seeing you dressed up all cute and sexy, wearing matching accessories with him, or wearing some lingerie underneath your school uniform makes his heartbeat go fast. Any form of affection you give could lead to even more arousal by the end of the day.

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

There are very few no-nos, but he’s fine with you setting boundaries. He would respect your turn-offs and not even question them for a second. Asmo also prefers his praise kink, so degradation towards him is off the table.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Asmo loves giving and receiving; he’s practically a god at them. His tongue is skilled and will leave you begging for more. He often suckles on your clit and fingers your pussy, or he eats you out in rhythmic patterns while he jacks himself off. His moans are heavenly when he feels your tongue around his dick. He’s always so surprised when you worship his needy cock by shoving it down your throat or jacking it off while you plant kisses down his shaft. Massaging his balls while you suck him off or giving them a soft suckle drives him wild.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

It depends on the mood and how horny both of you are. No matter what, you will always be pleased in some way. He grips you tightly and often teases you with his pace so he can hear you moan the words “faster~” or “harder~.”

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Quickies are definitely a must for Asmo; he often has to take some during classes, especially if he’s distracted by something arousing you wore that day. All he needs is an empty classroom or a clean bathroom stall to do it in.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Of course, he’s down to get risky. If he can handle quickies, he will for sure get away with the craziest things. The wildest kinks don't scare him, and he will make out with you in random places or touch you during class. He may even show you how hard his dick is when he hugs you from behind.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

Oh baby, he can go for many. He’s got the stamina of a bunny in heat, and he will show it with each round. Of course, he will stop when you’ve had enough; he doesn’t want to push you too hard, but when he embraces his sin, it’ll be difficult for him to slow down.

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Asmo has all of them… in fact, there may be too many to count. He keeps them underneath his bed and neatly aligned at his disposal. His favorites would probably be some dildos made of smooth glass or fleshlights with very lifelike material. He always used them on himself, but he lets you choose one that intrigues you the most. Handcuffs, blindfolds, vibrators, gags, buttplugs, just so many are on display, but he also owns toys that you’ve never seen before in the human world. You often have to wonder if what you’re seeing is a demonic sex toy or just some cursed object Asmo accidentally fucked or shoved up his ass one day.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

He’s a big tease; if you think the flirting is enough, he will edge you so hard you will be begging him to fuck you then and there. It’s playful teasing though; he’s not that heartless. You can always tease him as payback, but Asmo is always the best at it in bed.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

All kinds of moans and groans come out of his mouth, and they will be loud; there is no questioning about it (unless you make him wear a gag or something). He moans like a pornstar, and he will make a melodic sound each time you toy with his body. He loves it when you let out all your moans with no remorse, and he always thought they sounded beautiful alongside his~

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character)

Like Mammon, Asmo also has a Devildom version of OnlyFans, except it’s not really a secret. Everyone knows he has one since he unapologetically flaunts it in his social circle. He always finds ways to make his content entertaining and worth replaying, plus his subscriptions skyrocketed once you entered the picture. Filming porn with him brings out a more performative side to his fucking, but it’s still filled with that same passion and love when the cameras are off.

X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Perfectly soft pink like his skin, and yet it’s textured and veiny like a brand-new dildo. His cock is sort of smaller than his other brothers, but size doesn’t matter, so he doesn’t care cuz he knows exactly how to use it. The shaft is slender and curves upward, while its head is smooth like it’s begging to be put inside you; it may even have a piercing~

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Super hiiiiigh~ The highest among his brothers. It’s not only difficult to control when you are around, but it’s also the source of his pleasure and the reason he constantly imagines you and him naked in bed. It distracts him greatly, so he always lets you know when he’s about to burst~

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward)

When the aftercare is done, he will cuddle up and fall asleep with you. The warmth of his body pressed against yours is comforting the more you drift off to sleep. Knowing that he’s sleeping with his love at the end of a thrilling night is something Asmo takes to heart, especially when you feel the same.

[ninthprime]

severance 2x02 thoughts (spoilers)

you all seemed to enjoy my thoughts last time. so. let’s keep doing this

not only did i accurately predict most of this episode in my last post (they let the others back because they need mark, dylan is back because he needs to support his family, etc) but i also used the phrase “occam’s razor” and devon uses the exact same term this episode. feeling like a real severance understander over here

fellow fans of the “outie irving used to have milchick’s job” theory- do we think his scene with milchick this episode disproves it? there’s nothing specific about the scene that would completely throw it away, but i doubt they’d fire irving so easily if they knew he had unsevered knowledge of the severed floor. maybe he was severed when he had the position, and they had to re-sever him/implant a new chip/whatever that would entail? and whatever went wrong there led to managers like milchick and cobel being required to be unsevered? we pretty much know that irving worked at lumon before being a severed member of MDR (he has an early ID number but has only been in MDR for three years), so it’s a matter of connecting the dots. maybe the wrongful assumption we’re making is that he’s painting the testing floor elevator from his own memories, rather than, say, a description from someone else (reintegrated petey?).

i agree with many that there’s a reason we didn’t see the immediate aftermath of the season 1 finale for irving and burt, but i’m not sure if it’s the reason a lot of people are predicting (that they know each other outside of being severed). i feel like it may be something stranger and more lore-heavy. kind of wondering if burt is reintegrated in some way or otherwise has knowledge of irving that irving wouldn’t know about. one of my questions about season 1 that i’ve never really seen anyone else ask is “why does optics & design need to be severed?” with MDR we now know it’s because their work contributes to some sort of strange experiment with testing floor subjects (ie. miss casey), which lumon would want to keep secret, but we don’t know why O&D’s work is also hidden. my inclination is that burt knows more than he’s saying.

that said if we’re supposed to get an old gay spies vibe from outie irving/burt then i think it should have the tone of chris fleming’s description of the film heat

similarly, i think they’re keeping gretchen hidden from us not because she’s someone we already know but to make us question things when dylan gets to go to that “visitation suite.” that way they can have a big reveal that the “wife” dylan gets to meet there is fake or, maybe even more interesting, that she’s in fact his wife with no tricks involved.

and one last thing that this episode purposefully keeps from us: miss huang being assigned to milchick’s old position! that’s hiding something.

i don’t think it’s important or anything but i would love to have elaboration on the lumon chain of command and on helena and milchick’s relationship. she’s his boss but he’s also the boss of her severed self? he has to answer to her outside of the severed floor but down there he can break room torment her as needed for the sake of lumon? fucking wild. really shows how much the lumon higher-ups have driven any idea that the innies are people out of their minds- milchick can do it with the heir to the company.

thought about why i’m generally enjoying mark/helly (and gemma/mark/helly) when it’s usually not what i’d be into and this episode led me to realize it’s because of how completely fucked up it could get. yeah, let’s get the outies in here, let’s make this even more potentially cursed. we ask if love can transcend severance. if that’s true, is it always a good thing? is it the way things should be? i’m excited for the answers to feel like a hammer blow.

one thing i haven’t seen people mention about the confirmation that lumon needs mark for The Miss Casey Experiment aka Cold Harbor is that it implicitly gives a time limit for this season. if mark finishes the cold harbor file and the experiment is a success, can they just fire him and the rest of the team at that point? would they feel the need to silence any of them further as outies? hell, devon tells milchick she spoke to innie mark in this episode- does that put devon and her family under threat? i imagine this may end up being the climax of the season, along with revealing whatever cold harbor is.

my loudest reaction while watching this one was a barking laugh at the first image of milchick with the pineapple on mark’s porch. incredible

“i ate your shitty fucking cookies” is an all-time adam scott line read. and it’s good to once again be reminded why david lynch’s nickname for patricia arquette was “solid gold”

[hmtaxidermy]

hi! what's your tip for someone wanting to get into taxidermy but not having the money for a course (yet)? what skills can i practice in preparation while i save up to learn?

Hello!

That’s a really good question! I’m sure I’ll forget something, but here’s some stuff off the top of my head:

•Learn how to sew. Personally I use the “blanket”/“locking” stitch on EVERYTHING! Try to get your stitches neat and all the same tension.

•Get a sample square of faux fur fabric and practice sewing up holes in it without catching any hair in the seam.

•Learn to sculpt. You don’t have to make Michelangelo’s David, but get your hands on some cheap clay (or playdoh!) and learn to sculpt eyes. Use reference photos and try to get your faux eye to look as close to the reference as possible. Do this over and over until it’s second nature.

If I were you, I’d get a marble, sink it part way into a glob of clay, and sculpt your eye over it, that way you can mimic sculpting eyelids over a glass eye.

•Learn general knife safety if you don’t already.

•Learn to color match when mixing paints. A lot of finishing work is looking at photo references and trying to get the right color to mimic living tissue. A lot of taxidermy supply companies sell pre-mixed paints that are the right color, but a lot of the time the real thing will vary from what the store sells. It’s also a handy skill for when you accidentally scratch the paint on your work and need to fix it.

•It’s not really a skill, but go to your local library or Half Price Books and find some zoology anatomy books. The best taxidermy results come from knowing what goes on under the skin. Musculature and bone structure. How limbs move and what the limitations are. Your knowledge will be strengthened when you actually get hands-on experience skinning specimens, but these books will teach you what to look for and will help make sense of what you see.

•Again, not a skill but moreso just fun homework: watch some documentaries! Focus on observing how each animal moves. A coyote moves through the world a lot differently than a deer does. Also, documentaries are cool. I recommend watching some livestreams from the Brownville Deer Pantry YouTube channel. It’s a good way to study wild deer and how they interact with each other.

Other than that? Get handy with power tools. Taxidermy is half artistry, half construction. I use my drill as often as I use my airbrush. If you’ve never used one before, don’t feel bad, I was the same way lmao.

I know your budget is pretty tight, or you may just prefer to wait till you can get in a class, but I still want to recommend getting some tutorial dvds from McKenzie or Breakthrough Magazine. Unfortunately a lot of taxidermy skill is built up from…just doing taxidermy. I believe there are some free tutorial videos on YouTube? But I haven’t really checked.

Anywho, sewing, sculpting, and painting are really what’s needed when you boil it all down. Other things like skin placement, etc come from actually mounting taxidermy, and can’t really be mimicked unfortunately.

But always feel free to reach back out if you have anymore questions! Good luck!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The Charcuterie Board, as designed by your votes! Thank you to everyone who participated; this was a fun challenge!

[vaguely-concerned]

just for fun this time during 'sea of blood' I counted out all the venatori corpses I think we can be pretty sure were lucanis' handiwork before we show up (not including the ones he kills in his initial cutscene, and with an assumption that he's been at work mainly up and down in the areas we move through until we find him, not behind the locked door -- I think that's mostly the work of rampaging undead and other venatori-hoisted-by-their-own-petard suchlikes). can thus happily inform you lucanis has killed at least 32 venatori before rook and company get there. at least one of them he's impaled on their own weird crystal spike things the venatori mages cast as an AOE attack and that they're trying to keep him contained with when we find him. so he's clearly been keeping busy lol. that's my boy dispensing poetic justice and claiming some enrichment in his enclosure while he's at it good for him!

[add1ctedt0you]

Sucker for pain

That's for all the writers who look at jiang cheng and decide to put him through other unimaginable woes. <3 As if his life wasn't rough enough lol.

[theblehthatbloos]

"Toby Maguire... you don't have to try to trip me every time I flirt a little bit with someone like im an At-At. I still love you dawg, but please."

[abirddogmoment]

today's hot take for dog people: management is not the same thing as training.

[welcometogrouchland]

Batman #149 by chip zdarsky is mostly unremarkable, but I'm really fascinated by how it makes a great case for 'good' endings not saving 'bad' stories*. Because there's a lot of interesting concepts in this issue (bruce having to deal with his rapidly aging and decaying clone making him think about his own life, re-establishing a 'nest' so to speak for his family after pushing them away, etc) but bc of the OOC slog that came before it, almost every moment w/ the batfamily comes off as unearned and disingenuous imo.

Like, everything with Damian is the perfect example in this. Because in isolation it's...fine. admittedly it's a missed opportunity to not go deeper into how Damian would feel about a clone of his dad who tried to kill considering Damian's relationships with clones of himself (the heretic rejects and respawn) or with former enemies who wanted him dead but who were manipulated and/or brainwashed (like suren and maya).

Zdarsky doesn't go into any of this but you could maybe excuse it as the issue not being about Damian. However, coupled with the previous bizarre characterizations of Damian in 147 and 148, it ends up not being fine- instead it starts to feel...icky how Damian (who, despite often being drawn and written as white, will never have his connection to the non-white al ghuls forgotten and will always be effected by racism even when not portrayed as a poc) is constantly written as overly violent, uncaring and narrow minded in this run. Coupled w/ trying to recanonize the morrison origin for Damian it's like. OH this is badly written and laden with subtle bigotry, sick**

That's me going into detail on it with Damian but it's applicable to other things in this issue- the way Cass, Steph and Duke have all been ignored or turned into jobbers makes their inclusion in the 'family' here feel hollow instead of satisfying. Bruce proclaiming that Zur was still a part of him and he needs to accept responsibility for his actions (when it means taking in clone son) wrings hollow when just last issue zdarsky was bending over backwards to separate Bruce and Zur bc otherwise the Jason thing would get really awkward. Ends are achieved through means that feel hollow or strange. I'm at my destination but damn why'd the bus have to do all that???

I only really have opinions on this latest arc of zdarskys Batman bc it's the one I've read the closest (bc I'm a hater, masochist and avid follower of even the bad damian storylines) but it's not saying great things.

Bc zdarsky can do one thing good in this book, and it's write Bruce and Tim. And yet this entire story, whether of his own volition or editorial mandate, includes other characters who aren't Bruce and Tim, the fabric starts to unravel in very telling ways.

(p.s, I think pennyworth manor is an interesting idea but I feel like in execution it's just gonna be 'bruce living in a house haunted by the memory of the people he couldn't save' but with a different dead guy this time. Illusion of change and whatnot)

*whether or not the ending is good is up to you ofc, as is your opinion on the proceeding arc! I saw some ppl complain that the ending was too "WFA" for them, which I get even if I dont think it'll literally be the same premise. If anything it's probably a lead into the new tec run. Likewise many ppl who aren't in the weeds of Damian and Jason characterization liked the previous arc! But I have my opinions and rest my case before the bench

**disclaimer, I'm white and portrayals of bigotry in comics are complicated and subjective, but I am basing my point here off what other poc comic fans on socmed have been saying about 149. Also the "sick" is sarcasm incase that wasn't obvious

[yujeong]

Time was at a standstill. Vegas was holding his breath without noticing, and continued to hold it when he did - he was afraid of what would happen if he exhaled loudly enough to draw attention to himself. His gaze was shifting between Pete and the man who was standing before them in the doorway, blocking their entrance. Vegas had never seen him before, but even so, he recognized Pete in him enough to know who he was. A dangerous aura surrounded him. There was an edge to his presence that Vegas would only come across people of certain circles. He was a fighter. A muay khao. Pete's father. Shame coursed through Vegas' body, smearing his skin, settling in his lungs, rendering him speechless. I thought he was dead, he wanted to tell Pete if he could. He wanted to scream at him, I thought you killed him. Pete was the one who broke the stillness. As if awakened by something, he took a half-step back and made a motion with his arms, almost raising them to his chest, but not quite. In an instant, Pete reverted into the pet Vegas had been keeping at the safehouse, bound by handcuffs and afraid of his belt hitting flesh and drawing blood. A lump formed in Vegas' throat. "Have you stopped practicing? Your form is off." The uncanny similarities between Pete and his father appearance-wise didn't mean a thing when it came to their voices. Vegas shivered. Was this what Pete would sound like in a few decades? (Were these the condescending words he'd choose to spew? Was Pete going to embody his father? Was Vegas embodying his?) "What are you doing here?" Pete whispered. "They let me out for a few days, so I came here to collect some money. Imagine my surprise when I found out my offspring left the job someone found him worthy enough of doing to... do what exactly? Yaai didn't want to tell me." He crossed his arms, waiting for an answer. Vegas didn't know what he was allowed to say. If he was allowed to say anything at all. "It's none of your business." "I'd say it very much is my business, as well as yaai's business who was dependent on the money you were making being some rich asshole's human shield." A choked sound scratched Vegas' throat. He didn't like getting reminded of Pete being the main family's bodyguard, even though he stopped being one mere months ago. Especially like this. That was the first time Pete's father stopped looking at his son and turned his head to look at Vegas. For a moment, there seemed to be recognition in his eyes. Did he know who Vegas was? Did he care? A snort came out of his mouth. He leaned on the door. "Oh, I see how it is." He laughed, scratched his neck. "I never expected you to whore yourself out for money. Tell me, is it preferable to the path I carved out for you?" Vegas could sense the disgust in his voice. He could also see it on Pete's face. He was too astonished to share it, but not enough to be unable to speak. "Khun, there has been some misunderstanding-" "Don't bother. I can recognize a faggot when I see one." Pete's movements were too fast for Vegas to stop him. A direct jab to the nose; his father fell like a pack of cards, groaning like a wounded animal. Surprisingly, no blood - Pete held back. Vegas didn't know what to think about that. "That was a pathetic attack, even for you." "Get up." "We're not in the ring, son." Pete growled. Vegas could see his hands trembling as he was keeping them in the air, maintaining an offensive stance. "That never stopped you before." "You were too young to understand what I was doing back then. What I was preparing you for." Pete was silent. "The world isn't kind. It'll fuck you over one way or another." He got up, spat on the ground. "You still haven't learned a thing. You're too old to afford being naive." He turned around, and without sparing a look at Pete again, said: "Now get the fuck out of my house." (For @musictooth, whose posts about Pete's father have reignited my passion for this specific concept and for @wretchedamaranth, whose comments on my writing are always lovely and precious ❤️)

[varilien]

@azurecitrus OKAY THIS MOVIE ABSOLUTELY BROKE MY HEART AND I GOT CARRIED AWAY THANK YOU FOR THE REC LMAOOO

reminded me of a dream i had once, about vash and wolfwood being schoolkids together and wolfwood scaring off all of vash's bullies,,

[robottheodorlasso]

Since I’m already dumping a bunch of sketches, here are a few more for the generic light fantasy au that lives inside my head rent free (aka my poor excuse to give Trent a sword) (read the captions and tags for a little more context)

[sarastuss]

me every time i am forced to open tumblr on my laptop :

[bmpmp3]

post ankle-twisting clarity