#why you do this to me nintendo

[syrospit]

Its my beautiful wife’s birthday today so thought I’d crank out something before his special day ends

[gay-jesus-probably]

Seeing as the Gerudo turned on Ganon, he might not have been that much better of a ruler.

First of all, we literally have no idea, because the only ancient Gerudo that we actually get to interact with is Ganondorf himself, and he has nothing to say about his own people. The ancient Gerudo sage doesn't count btw, she doesn't have a name, we never even see her face, and she has literally nothing to say except repeating the exact same dialogue as the sages for the other races. The narrative does not treat the ancient sages as people; they are four completely interchangable weapons that are owned by the royal family.

And secondly, I don't care how Ganon ruled them; the Gerudo only get one man every century, if their king sucks, they've obviously got their own system of government to fall back on. I have no idea what kind of authority the sages had among their own people, but honestly I'd say if the four of them were in charge of their respective people, then they were just puppet rulers appointed by Rauru, given that all four of them happily agreed that to sell their entire race into servitude the second Zelda asked them. Say what you will about Ganondorf, but I fucking know that if he was told the Gerudo people existed for the sole purpose of serving the glory of Hyrule, he'd drop kick Zelda into the fucking sun.

And don't get me started on the implications of the cultural differences we see between the independent Gerudo and the annexed Gerudo. The background Gerudo characters all have their own models, and we can clearly see that the ones siding with Ganon have their own unique looks - for example, the amazing lady with the mohawk that summons the molduga swarm in that one flashback. And men are never mentioned in these flashbacks at all, which implies that the Gerudo genuinely didn't care about settling down. Ganon even speaks derisively about marriage, implying that it's very rare for Gerudo women to make serious romantic commitments with men. It implies that their culture is more along the same line as their portrayal in OOT - they are a closed culture. Men trying to force their way into their areas are arrested, and mocked for being entitled dumbasses. Outsiders are only welcome if they can prove that they respect the Gerudo as people, and aren't just there to try and pick up chicks. It's never outright said, but OOT also makes it pretty clear that the Gerudo women just aren't interested in marrying outsiders - close relationships occur with other Gerudo, Hylian men are only considered useful for making babies.

Meanwhile the Gerudo we see serving Hyrule are all trying to measure up to Hylian beauty standards, and appeal to their men. Their one goal in life is to meet a man and get married. Men are welcome in their lands, and only kept out of the town itself... and even then, there's a small army of guys trying to force their way into the town anyways, which is brushed off as just haha, boys will be boys. No men allowed isn't even about independence, it's just a silly romantic tradition.

Of course this is just a fictional culture in a game world, but it's still really fucking uncomfortable that the 'evil' Gerudo are the ones that have independence, both politically and socially, and display a unique culture that refuses to tolerate disrespect from outsiders. Meanwhile the 'good' Gerudo are the ones that canonically exist to serve a kingdom where 95% of the population is light skinned (even setting aside the unfortunate implications, just saying one race exists to serve a different one is super fucked up), they have classes on how to be more appealing to Hylian's, and their entire social structure is built around finding a Hylian man to marry, making them all inherently dependent on the goodwill of outsiders. Even their biggest value of 'women only' is treated as a joke; men trying to trespass in BOTW are just shoved back out the door, letting them keep trying all day if they want. The crowds of men plotting to force their way in are laughed off as a joke. Nobody cares that there's a guy running laps around their city walls and trying to trick women into being alone with him. I mean for fucks sake, in TOTK we find that the creepy guy trying to lure women away has taken advantage of a massive disaster to get into the town, and he's still there once things return to normal. You can't kick him out, or alert anyone to his presence. And the Gerudo just tolerate Hylians blatantly ignoring their boundaries. For fucks sake, TOTK even reveals that the seven legendary heroines they've been revering the whole time were actually completely useless and unable to achieve anything... because they needed the eighth hero, a Hylian man to teach them basic tactics and do all the heavy lifting.

TOTK does not respect the Gerudo people in the slightest. It doesn't respect anyone who isn't Hylian or Zonai.

...This got a little off track, but the point I'm trying to make is, no, I don't consider the Gerudo turning on Ganon to mean anything. The entire game does not feel like the real story of what happened, it feels like the propaganda version of history meant to make Hyrule look as good as possible. I genuinely cannot believe that we're being told the real story about the Imprisoning War, because none of it feels real, and we don't get to know any details that might have made Hyrule look even slightly imperfect. We're told that Ganondorf is evil because he hates Hyrule, and he hates Hyrule because he's evil. The Gerudo people followed Ganondorf and saw him as a hero of their people, then suddenly he was their worst enemy. Hyrule is a perfect kingdom that has strong, equal alliances with the other races, but also all of the non-Hylian races exist for the sole purpose of serving Hyrule, and their leaders are expected to swear eternal loyalty and submission to the Hylian royal family. King Rauru and Queen Sonia united all of the races in peace and equality, which is why they're sitting on the world's supply of magical nuclear missiles, and every member of the Hylian royal family is allowed to walk around wearing them as cute accessories, but everyone else only gets them at the last second, and they all need to outright swear to only use that power to benefit Rauru and his descendants.

There's just so many fucked up contradictions, and so many hints of something more nuanced going on... but the story refuses to acknowledge any of it, and just keeps aggressively pushing the narrative that Hyrule is the ultimate good and couldn't possibly do anything wrong. I don't even believe that Ganon was a bad king honestly; we never hear why his people stopped following him. We also never even see if the Gerudo people turned on him at all; all we know is the ancient Gerudo sage wanted him dead, and given that she also happily sold her people into slavery, she's not exactly the most trustworthy source of information. All we know is that Ganondorf was a hero to his people, only one of his citizens is ever shown having an issue with him (and her motives are never explained), and then he lost the war and was sealed away, leaving his people open to be conquered by Zelda and annexed into Hyrule. By the time we see any Gerudo actually opposing Ganon (apart from the ancient sage), it's been ten thousand years since the war, and all anyone knows is the Hylian version of the story.

[codykinx]

toads

[timegears]

i promise my chatot defences don't even come from a place of genuine diehard love for chatot because while i think it's adorable as a pokemon species i don't have any strong opinions of the pmd character beyond thinking he's just alright. any mention of chatot hate just activates a sleeper agent in my brain because people are spreading misinformation about this game that i've been incredibly autistic about for coming up on two decades now

[great-tusk]

mutuals give me your favorite of your self-inserts. put them in my inbox or dms or somewhere please I wanna chew on them.

now closed until I finish the ones that I have, but I’ll probably open it back up when I’m done with them.

[black-and-yellow]

Friendship ended with Bradley. Now Louis is my best friend.

[roxannarambles]

Fam, I was so ready to defend Yona's honor (despite being a Sidlink shipper) because she seemed like a genuinely cute character but oh boy, seeing the backstory? It's making it so much harder to defend her, eurrghhhh. I hate the "we were childhood friends and basically siblings to each other, but now we've grown up and we're together!!" trope that anime and video games do sometimes. It just squicks me out big time.

Also, confirmation the marriage was arranged!

So yeah I'm just gonna conclude from this "Yona and Sidon are married bc royal duties yadda yadda, but they have An Understanding and Sidon gets to be w/ his Hylian BF while Yona hooks up with someone else (idk Zelda maybe)"

and ignore the whole gross "I basically married my sister" thing entirely

EDITED TO ADD: People coming at me claiming I'm a Yona hater need to chill tf out. I hate the trope, not Yona herself. This post was made immediately after my first exposure to her character, obviously it's going to be hard for me to divorce my view of Yona from that trope right away. I've since managed to do it, and I think fandom has worked hard to salvage her character from that stupid backstory and turn her into something actually enjoyable.

Also, nowhere in here did I claim Sidon x Yona is problematic. I specificially stated the trope squicks me out. That's it. I have a right to find a trope gross.

[kuhulua]

WHY

[unityrain24]

twilight princess for nintendo switch WHEN!!!!

[onefey]

monk maz koshia, shortly after botw: welp kids, my purpose has been fulfilled. the calamity is defeated for good. with that, i think its finally time i moved on to the afterlife.

monk maz koshia: oh, and just so you know, i'm taking most of my peoples' ancient technology with me. to heaven, or wherever. honestly these machines ended up doing more harm than good, what with how the calamity seized them.

monk maz koshia: i'll leave a few things behind so my descendants can build new, better machines, but the guardians and divine beasts and shrines and such... yeah, those have got to go. and yes that does mean i need you to give me back my motorcycle. sorry, i know you really liked that thing.

monk maz koshia: but i mean, i'm sure you guys will be fine for the foreseeable future, what with the evil defeated. you won't even need the giant death robots or laser pottery spiders!

princess zelda: so you're sure ganon is truly dead, and that there are no other evils lurking in the shadows, waiting to seize hyrule while it's vulnerable? we'll be safe while we rebuild?

monk maz koshia: positive!

monk maz koshia: i mean, it's not like the calamity was a manifestation of some slumbering evil guy's malice, or anything crazy like that.

monk maz koshia: because surely if that were the case, the royal family would have trusted their dedicated protectors - my people - with such vital information!

princess zelda: well, it does make a lot of sense when you put it that way...

princess zelda: ...alright! enjoy the afterlife!

later, during totk:

monk maz koshia, in heaven or wherever, pausing his sick motorcycle tricks to look out at hyrule: welp.

monk maz koshia: fuck.

[minijenn]

Yeah so Echoes of Wisdom is fun as hell papa bless

[thatone-churro]

chat. chat i have a question. i know ive always had guilt when it comes to getting things for myself, but like. would it be stupid to drop like $116 on the special editions of two games ive been wanting for a while (now because one of which is on sale)? i mean, ive been saving my money literally all summer to use for myself like i haven’t bought anything i didn’t need and i KNOW im not gonna blow through all of it in school because i don’t go anywhere & dont do shit and i know it’s my money and i can do what i want with it but. idk. it feels stupid. is it stupid or is my brain stupid??

(extra context in tags ig idk)

[richardsondavis]

The reason why some in the Devil May Cry fandom refer to the Switch ports as a travesty is because the dips in frames on handheld and the input lag (I'm assuming if docked and are using a Bluetooth controller) is a few frames then playing Devil May Cry, especially the third entry as how it's meant to be played i.e, like a fighting game, is very very bad when you're comboing till kingdom come and that's how it's meant to be played.

[enlichened]

ok im more confident in my theory that hylia is actually the evil one/antagonist in the overall legend of zelda structure bc my little brother who watches zelda theory videos went like :0 at me when i asked him about it

[marshmallow-castle]

The urge to buy Disney dreamlight valley is upon me once again- somebody come tell me why I shouldn’t buy it😭

[kathrynmjaneway]

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