#why won't they let me sleep | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

parchmentleaves · 8 months ago

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Arrival on Damaris (Books, Fine Wine and Infinite Terrors, Part 2)

It has been a while, but we finally had another session of Rogue Trader. There were many shenanigans with our utter himbo of a captain, but Lady Essiala is a decorous lady and would never record that in her logs.

She just has audio files of it saved for when she needs some amusement or the family needs a little blackmail :3

#rogue trader #rogue trader ttrpg #ttrpg campaign #rpg stories #warhammer 40k #warhammer 40000 #anxious introvert is haunted by demons #why won't they let me sleep #why do I have to be in a gravity well #its too bright and too heavy and the stims are making me loopy

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astrolavas · 1 year ago

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my art style is too simple for this but just know that when i draw post-ttt hunter, in my mind he has central pink-brown heterochromia. like this, kinda:

#just..... so neat to me #i love the brown but sometimes i miss the pink + it being a visible grimwalker feature so THIS is how i cope #also To Me his eyes also absolutely reflect pink in the dark still #the owl house #hunter toh #toh hunter #my art #?#my sketches #my doodles #hunter #my toh talk #headcanon #nicole talks #there's also the quite popular complete heterochromia headcanons where his right eye is brown and left magenta #but i can't FULLY commit to those cuz ig the logistics of it depends on what fully happened and WHY hunter's eye color changed. magic-wise #and we don't knowwww! and i'm not sure what to go with and it's gonna bother me if my headcanon is not Air-Tight XNSKSJK #and even if it's “he gets flapjack's eyes thus only the right one” it also won't let me sleep at night cuz #there's the fact that we've SEEN flapjack's left eye open! which might've been an animation error but AUYGHGHHH.....#also . 2 different eye colors make color palettes harder LMAO i make them slightly different when i draw him with brown eyes vs pink. so!#but central heterochromia....... oh my mind is SET on this. like it's canon To Me

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knightwhoisni · 3 months ago

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concept: unromanced eleanor as drifter's romantic advisor and wingwoman. how successful she actually is at this depends on how serious she's feeling.

#ni blabs #warframe #warframe spoilers #warframe 1999 #eleanor nightingale #[lettie is letting you hold a rat. as far as i'm concerned you two are basically engaged now.]#[that radio thing- somachord. see if you can't bring that back for aoi. listen to something with her.#because honestly if i have to hear her loop that boyband song through her mind one more time-]#[...what? don't look to me for advice on talking games with amir.#just because i can read his mind doesn't mean i understand what an iframe is.]#[...maybe if you pretend that you don't know what a gun is hard enough quincy'll do that thing where he stands behind you #while teaching you how to shoot? i don't know i'm just spitballing here.]#[good luck trying to get my brother to focus on anything but all the impending doom. you're going to need it.]#idk if any of this is super ooc for her it's 4 in the morning #...i need to stop making these posts during the witching hour and get more sleep #tumblr WHY are you fucking up my tags.#fine i won't use quotation marks. Are You Happy Now.

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brionnnne · 7 months ago

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note that i will only ever call mithrun "stupid" jokingly. by "stupid", i only mean "frustrating behavior that i am immensely familar with". seeing him do something that makes me groan aloud, closing my eyes, sighing "stupid (affectionate, mournful)". like when he fucking... his dumbass "i don't want to [use the bathroom] right now, so it's fine." oughh. i know you! i know you! that's not how that works!!! and he's smart!!! he's so smart... but god, god... he's kind of an absent professor. he's kind of a cloudcuckoolander. i love him dearly. he gets called a dummy, a little idiot, and i flick his forehead, a little bonk of hard-heads, like "try again, idiot. that's not how bodies work." and "ooh, 'that's not going to work'. yes it is. shut up, stoopid. stubborn little man, my god." rolling my eyes forever.

#mithrun #i'm not devaluing his intelligence #i feel like both can be true - that someone can be really smart but also take really stupid actions conversely #i fucking KNOW i do all the time #and i don't think there's anything particularly wrong with the word #it's not that his intelligence is compromised in any sense or that i think he's incapable #and it is solely #the fact that he is a stubborn little guy who doesn't listen and just goes 'that won't work' / 'i don't want to' / etc.#like... BUDDY...#buddy BOY #dummy #you are NOT a good judge of this ok?#zip ya lip little man #i know what you are #and i ain't fuckin listening to ya!#god. 'that won't work'. blah blah blah. okay sleepy. see you next panel.#fuckin knew that was going to happen #'i'm not tired' (his body stops working and he doesn't know why)#oh. OH. you're NOT? buddy i KNOW what happened ok? you need some fuckin rest #like - i'm gonna kick your legs out from under you + you're going to fall gently into bed + i tuck you in and smooch you #but i also fucking complain because OF COURSE YOU'RE TIRED ! you bastard ! go sleepy bye #it's his poor decisions and i know why he does them - because he doesn't know - but by god #it's also a little like please... listen to yourself...#on the one hand he doesn't know and never will #on the other hand ... you have been awake for hours and hours without sleep... please get some rest...#but yeah as someone who forgets needs and has little sense of that it is like... objectively a stupid experience #and i don't say that with judgement in my heart but it feels REALLY stupid when your body does something and you don't know why #it's not the disability though that makes me say as much - it is fully the fact that he is SO STUBBORN! SO STUBBORN!!!!#you say you're not tired and fall down? hm? then maybe you are? i know you don't know but whatever. let's get you to bed boy. ok?#caring for him + shaking my head like i get it so much but you gotta sleep! 'this won't work'. ok liar... i already know it will.

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running-in-the-dark · 20 days ago

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ugh I was so happy I was going to bed at 2 am (thank you time change (the good one)) but it's 3:30 now and I just can not fucking sleep.

#dunno why it's so bad tonight but it feels very unfair #I was feeling good!! I want to get a lot done with tomorrow! but I cannot do that when this stupid brain won't let me sleep!!!#*get a lot done. where did that with come from #I'm so tired! let me sleep omg.#got a very bad headache from lying on my pillow now which is always a bad sign #personal #sleep is my nemesis

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coquelicoq · 1 year ago

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Natsume: You didn't sleep a wink last night. Why not go and grab a few now? Natori [sparkling]: I'm just fine. It takes more than sleep deprivation to dull my dazzling self, so don't you worry your fussy little head. Natsume [concerned]: Nonsense like that is exactly what someone suffering from sleep deprivation would say! Sensei: Oh really? Has he been sleep-deprived every day of his life?

so i've been watching the natsume dub -

#sensei referring to matoba as the 'pirate-princess-tightrope-walker'????? PLSSSS #sensei to natsume about matoba: your wussy little punches won't do jack #also yes sensei he probably has been sleep-deprived every day of his life. this man is a dumpster fire #thanks to qserasera (thank you qserasera!!!) i've been revisiting the natori and matoba episodes #i had started a rewatch earlier this year but got sidetracked early in season 2 so i'm picking up from there #so to refresh my memory i read through the episode summaries i had written for season 1/early season 2 #and got SO EMOTIONAL??? just from reading the summaries? what the fuck???#me earlier today: i can't reread le petit prince right now because my heart can't take it #also me: tra la la let's see what natsume is going to do to pulverize my soul into powder today #natsume's book of friends #natsume yuujinchou #natori shuuichi #my posts #anyway i probably would never have tried the dub except that someone put some clips of english dub matoba on here #and i was OBSESSED with the voice acting???#i'm so glad i decided to try it because so many of the line readings are just delightful #natsume and sensei's bickering especially #i don't love madara's youkai voice. and i like the japanese voice playing touko a lot better than the english voice #but it's nice to be able to listen and like do the dishes at the same time! i love subs but you can't really multitask #i guess since this is the dub i should be calling him master not sensei but i'm too used to sensei #i must say though that i'm really enjoying natsume calling him 'master kitty cat' in full earnestness #i don't speak japanese so i wasn't getting the full effect from 'nyanko-sensei'#i get now why tanuma was so embarrassed

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weareweirdpeople · 3 months ago

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Oh god why the physical discomfort is happening again. Why is it so tiring to walk or do anything. No matter how much I sleep, I'm still tired. I manage my diabetes well. Why does my body just make existing feel bad.

#I don't fuckong know who i am.#im so fucking tired #diabetes management #I guess #Woo hoo. I have a rare condition that I can't find shit about anywhere #And I have to convince fucking doctors that I know what I was diagnosed with as a child #No its not type 1. No its not type 2 either for fucks sake #Yes its chronic. No my fucking eating habits didn't cause my body to not work #Yes I am sure can you shut the fuck up about eating habits #No seriously fucking stop #I don't give a shit if you think that I could've prevented the chronic illness that is literally a GENETIC MUTATION FOR FUCKS SAKE #MY FUCKING EATING HABITS DIDNT DO SHIT TO CAUSE THIS.#WHAT VOULDVE CAUSED IT WAS MAYBE ALL THE CRAZY FUCK8NG STRESS I WENT THROUGH AS A CHILD. AND THE TRAUMA. AND THE FACT THAT DIABETES RUNS IN #MY FUCKING FAMOLY #why am i so angry #I hate feeling so bad #I just wanna colapse in bed and sleep #Im so fucking tired but I can't even blame it on diabetes management #Im getting enough sleep #I think #I didn't stay up last night #Why am I so tired #I just want to feel ok #I can't have caffine because my parents won't let me #Im just so fucking tired.#What the fuuuck

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feyriejane · 1 month ago

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yall don't know platonic yearning like I do 😤

#all i want is a friend i can build a life with #we'll sleep in separate beds but occasionally we'll both get up for a late night snack at the same time and giggle about it #we'll call each other husband or wife while also having our freedom to seek out sex or romance outside of our partnership #there will always be someone to come home to and i won't feel the stifling pressure to perform romance for them #i want my future kids to be raised in love and friendship #i want them to know that they don't have to be a certain way in order to be loved #i want someone to hold my hair when im sick and let me cry on their shoulder when things are hard and stick up for me when i need it #i may never have this and it hurts my heart #ive told myself that being a single parent would make me happy because ill be happy as long as im not in a romantic relationship #but i don't know if thats actually true #ive resigned myself to that as a possoble future for me because being a parent is improtant to me #but there's this loneliness inside of me that I don't know I'll ever be able to get rid of #i thought i had a chance at the life i want with my ex and thats why i held on so long as tried to ignore all of our incompatibilities #but at the end of the day #hes a hopeless romantic and will always want the intense romantic love i can never give him and i will always resent those expectations #i wish things were different #personal #vent #aro tag #aromantic #platonic yearning #queerplatonic relationship #feel free to ignore but if you see this and also feel this way I'd love to commiserate :')

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thedreadvampy · 10 months ago

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as soon as I got home I put all my smoky clothes immediately in the wash. showered. washed my hands like 20 times. literally remanicured my nails. tell me how my hands still REEK of smoke. it's just part of my body now I am become smoke.

#red said #Sam won't let me sleep in his bed tonight because i smell so smoky :((((((((#IF IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR A FANCY CHEESE WHY ISN'T IT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME????

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tardis--dreams · 11 months ago

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Everytime i pull an all nighter i tell myself it's fine it's nothing i haven't done before I'm an expert on sleep deprivation. and every single time i'm shocked that it's not actually fine

#like. rude #how dare my body let me down like this when i treat it with such love and kindness #no you don't get any sleep. here drink some more coffee. more coffee. more coffee. more cof #oh and no balanced diet you gotta live of the same food every single day until i say it's okay to move on #hey why are you shaking and having trouble doing the simplest tasks when we literally got 3 hours of sleep 25 hours ago #(*woke up from 3 hours of sleep)#alright I'm leaving for my horrible exam now #i won't keep almost falling asleep sitting up when I'm in uni #and i need to go through my study notes one more time and being in bed certainly doesn't help me staying concentrated #this will be fun #void screams

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comfortableinthesilence · 2 months ago

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I don't get my body and mind sometime! Been yawning my head off all evening! Come to when I actually try to sleep, my mind won't switch off! Been trying the last 2 hours to no luck 🫠🫠🫠 as usual it happens on a night where I’m up at 5am (so in 3 hours 25 mins) for work! Fuckkkkk me 😓🫠😅

Maybe its time to speak to a doctor and get some strong sleeping tabs! Ugh!

#why won't you switch off and let me sleep #fuck you brain #personal #insomnia #no sleep squad #can't sleep #ugh #im so tired

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wolpatinga · 3 months ago

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#*beep* oh. hey. guess you're sleeping? maybe you're at work. or out with friends. i hope wherever you are it's good #or that it's getting better. i really do #i'm not good. but you knew that already. otherwise why would i be leaving this message?#sorry. i just need to talk for a bit i guess #cause it's like. every day i write a hundred posts and every day i delete most if not all of them #and i could not tell you why #this is my blog after all. my words and thoughts go here #but also. this is my third place. and i can't lose that #isn't that crazy? i can't lose the handful of notes from reblogging other people's posts #the idea that somehow i'm constructing myself in the cut and paste instead of doing something myself #and i do try to make posts of my own. but nothing's ever worth posting. i don't even let it rot in the drafts. it's just gone #and i try to think about what would stop me from doing this #which inevitably brought me here - what would i be doing if it were fifty years ago #and i think the answer is i'd be calling someone who used to care and blowing up their answering machine #and i think about old answering machines. the ones that need a tape to record the message #does dora just re-record over the tapes that harry fills?#does she trash them? i'm guessing she doesn't listen to them #i won't tell you what to do with this message. i'll spare you a call to action #it's not like a diary would fix this. i have a diary. i've been keeping one regularly for months now #i think i want to be perceived but i refuse to speak unless spoken to and i will not reach out on here unless i'm being a kindly anon #and when i talk irl it's all broken disjointed subjects without predicates #it takes such effort for me to talk that people stop asking me out of kindness. but there's still thoughts i haven't said #thoughts that don't need to be said. we don't *need* another person rambling on about whatever random fandom topic or half-assed scribbles #i tried making serious art and meta posts for like four years across different fandoms #it's all gone now. as is most of my poetry. lotta things i don't know or care to know #and i can't bring myself to do that again. esp if that's not why you're here. so like. it's easier just to remain quiet?#because. i know people *can* understand. but it takes effort #and i can't guarantee a return on investment. i don't know if the cost of teaching me how to talk again is worth it #god i want to infodump but that was beaten out of me. the need is still there but i can't. it hurts #idk. things are good and then things are bad and on the whole they're good and getting better

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ereborne · 9 months ago

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Song of the Day: February 17

“DYWTYLM” by Sleep Token

#song of the day #Sleep Token really saving my sanity as we navigate this dark and uncertain time without an upgraded sibling singalong playlist #had to go out into the snow on under two hours' sleep to get groceries #(the farmers' market gave me kefir cheese so any amount of suffering would've been worthwhile but I couldn't know that at the time)#and getting into Nick's car knowing there was music I could request that he could play loud as he wanted and I wouldn't want to cry #I mean blessing isn't even a strong enough term. baking a cake for the Sleep Token guy (his name is Vessel) as we speak #anyway this song sounds incredible in the original and then so odd sung acapella. like singing a bass line just a couple beats repeating #polar opposite of my lady indie covers. a song rendered fully unrecognizable when I wander the house mumbling it to myself #the verses do alright I suppose but the chorus is out of the question. the lyrics are so strong too real gut-punch lines #'and my reflection just won't smile back at me like I know it should / and I would turn into a stranger in an instant if I could #and there is something eating me alive I don't know what it is / maybe not that you conceal your feelings they just don't exist'#the whole song is like that it is so so so good. every new Sleep Token song I hear I'm like oh of course yes I see why these are fic titles #(Sleep Token catching up to Fall Out Boy and Hozier in terms of lines I've seen as fic titles. I mean we are really getting up there #and I am definitely not immune. if/when I put up those fanmixes y'all are gonna be seeing some Sleep Token let me tell you)#edit: it stands for 'Do You Wish That You Loved Me' I just realized I never said #didn't even pick lyrics that include it which is nuts when you realize that every verse does twice. whoops

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running-in-the-dark · 13 days ago

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my niece stayed with us last night. it was pretty fun this time, probably because I was feeling better (if I'm already in pain or exhausted, I can't handle it). after we dropped her off, we talked to my mother for a little bit, and then drove to my in-laws. we were there for a few hours and because the guys were busy outside, i ended up talking to my mother-in-law for most of that time. it was... kind of good? I don't know. she actually showed some real emotions, just a little bit, but hey that's more than ever before! I even gave her a weird little shoulder squeeze/side hug, it was so weird.

anyway, I almost fell asleep in the car on the way home because I was so tired, and actually did fall asleep immediately on the couch.

#it's pretty annoying because my mother-in-law of course asked me how applying for jobs is going. I haven't applied for a single one yet #bc dude I can barely get through the day. I sleep for 12-16 hours a day. and I'm almost always in some kind of pain. and I'm not doing so #good mentally either. come on! I interacted with a handful of people in one day and had to sleep for like 6 hours.#anyway so I said it's a bit difficult because I'm constantly tired - it felt like the only thing she might kind of understand?#annnd she said its probably a vitamin D deficiency and I should get that tested (I won't because I'd have to pay for that and also I think I #read that taking vitamin D supplements doesn't actually help? I can't remember now and I don't want to look it up bc I know it definitely is #not the only or even main reason I am always tired.#I took vitamin D tablets for several months last year (?) bc my previous GP recommended it and. it did absolutely nothing at all #plus. like. I can't sleep. I sleep like shit. always. so. idk? that definitely doesn't help #and I sleep more when I'm in pain and all that too. so.#and she knows I have a bunch of health issues but. nope it's vitamin D because that's one thing and it's simple and here take a pill you're #fine now! wait why aren't you fine now? oh I guess you're just lazy 🙄#< that's 100% how that would go #ugh. Just let me sleep for 5-10 years. maybe that'd fix me....#like. I'm trying to get myself back (?) to being an actual human person again. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with me. I'm trying to #live and not feel like I'm drowning every fucking day #finding a job is only gonna add more stress and exhaustion and everything. if I want to try to help myself this is the time to do it #okay rant over I'm going to sleep now #personal

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burningdragoncollector · 4 months ago

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How can people go back to sleep after waking for whatever reason

Can someone teach me too. please

#oh it's 2 am and i slept only for a couple hours after a very very busy and tiring day?#yeah sleep won't happen after you left the bed for 120 seconds to use the bathroom #why are doing this to me body #let be normal in just ONE (1) thing. just one 😭#p

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girlthativealwaysbeen · 4 months ago

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my best friend's MOTHER called me to scold me about being depressed and self isolating lol what has life even come to

#she was like. kya hua why won't you meet her she's saying you're busy do you have exams or something #and she knows too much about me so she's like beta exam toh agli saal hai na #it was more like pyaar se scolding ki mil liya karo usse acche lagega she's very sad she misses you #i was like. hmph. what??? she certainly hasn't said that to me #im kinda sick and tired of begging people to make me a priority pay attention to me tbh. i did ask to meet but she was like you come to my #house only i won't come to your house. even tho last few months ive been to her house soooo many times because of her parental drama #i don't want to go anymore im trying to study consistently and we don't sleep at all during nighout and i don't even want to waste a single #day. plus dad is being so weird and involved these days i can't even just sneak out. i mean if she came to my home atleast i wouldn't be so #tired that id waste the whole next day. but she doesn't wanna and she doesn't even have a reason so i just let it be i gave up #but aunty made me feel so guilty so whatever i texted like hey u wanna meet #tbh i don't want to sit and listen to her boyfriend drama all night. she never wants to do stuff together anymore we used to watch movies #we used to dance to songs we used to have so much fun. we were even planning on drinking but she keeps cancelling. now it's just endless #talk about how she feels so lonely and how she misses the guys so fuckinh much and howshe can't stop talking to them and how she needs them #to fill the gap the empty space #well fuck you!!! i feel the same and you don't give a fuck. you blow me off constantly don't hangout for a month even when we're in the #same city !! so we fuck you go to your boys and go your cousin ill be on my fucking own then always on my own desperately #trying everything to fix myself enough to move forward so my life doesn't fall apart and comes to a crashing halt #okay im definitely pmsing but whatever

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