#why the fuck am i so unlucky
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I fucking hate people with supportive parents I fucking hate you
#what the fuck did i do in a past life to get me stuck with a southern baptist mother and an indifferent father#why the fuck do i have to see christian hate groups and feel sick because i know my own mother would choose them over me#to have a mother that cries and begs me to be more evangelical and to hate people she doesnt know im one of#my mother has nightmares in which im not a cishet evangelical#she begs me to stand for jesus 'as the world gets more confused by the devil' when shes the one confused#and i cant do anything. i just have to keep my head down and listen#i cant protest because my future depends on her financial support#as depeche mode said i think god has a sick sense of humor#i see parents and gransparents with their kids at pride and i could throw up. it should be mine. i should have that.#why the fuck am i so unlucky
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the fact that i immediately landed an awesome job right out from graduation but then got covid in august and now my brain doesn't work right and i might lose my job because of it . there's a funny joke in here somewhere maybe
#txt#haha. like. how lucky was i to get this job. and unlucky to get sick and have my brain fucked over#also a loss of time perception. time does not move for me it feels like 7am still and its 10am#i feel like i got lobotomized. brainfog and much less of a filter of what i say/do and fatigue etc#shortness of breath when im stressed too. fucking annoying#i keep fucking up on the simplest tasks at work. literally filled out a simple form wrong that i've been doing right since day 1#and my supervisor is patient and i tried explaining brainfog but idt she takes it seriously and she gets more annoyed the more i screw up#and like. i need this job!!!!!!!!!!! it pays disgustingly well!!!!!! but if i cant do simple tasks right anymore then what am i even doing#ive had this stuff since late august but its so much worse suddenly and i dont know why :((#to be deleted /#<- if i can even remember i made this post at all LOL someone shoot me
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god i so wish my film cameras worked properly, i need to sell them and find a simple point and shoot that i can take anywhere but can't find any🥲
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Actually we r at 6 months now without any major deaths in my life, which is great! That's the longest I've gone without any major deaths since last May! The second longest was 4 months between July and November last year. Wow !
#speculation nation#negative/#i mean not exactly but also. ya kno.#really i dealt with death after death in may july november and the biggest in february#actually i think my great grandma died within the span between july and november. but i wasnt close with her & dont remember when#so idk if id count that. if i did then the longest would be 3 months. between november and february.#all this is to say. wow what a Fucking year last year was huh#i still dont rly feel like i have much trust in people staying alive in my life.#but maybe im a bit less scared of even more people in my life suddenly dropping dead.#... then again now i apparently have something wrong with my liver. which i am still not happy about.#the only reason why im not dying of anxiety is bc i still feel relatively normal overall.#but i also just remembered how. well. 28 has Long been my unlucky number. and im turning 28 next year.#so ive been half convinced im just gonna die when im 28. bc thatd be just my luck wouldnt it#and like overall theres no real reason why i Would die at that age. but now theres something wrong with my liver.#and like ok i dont think it's liver failure. i dont have any real symptoms for it#and if it was an emergency my doctor wouldve told me to go to the hospital. probably.#but idk. my truest anxiety about it is that it could be something cancerous. or something.#and really i have no reason to suspect that specifically. it's just one of the potential causes for the enzyme abnormality we found#but bc it's not entirely off the table. well now my mind has latched onto it. and is like 'What If'#and ok i just now looked into possible liver diseases to try to calm my anxiety. with mixed success.#bc i found all sorts of liver diseases. including cirrhosis. which is irreversible damage.#im just clinging to the hope of the fact that my readings werent Too high... just.#every single one associated with the liver was high. which means theres Definitely something wrong with my liver.#and im kind of scared it's bc of my prior alcohol use. i wasnt an alcoholic but i did drink pretty regularly for a bit.#but also how unfair would it be for me to get a liver disease from that??? the most i ever drank at one time was 8 shots#which is a lot but there are some people doing that kind of thing Regularly. and they dont get liver disease???#regardless this has been extra persuasion to stay off the alcohol. especially until i know what's up with it.#heyyyy mr liver inside me i prommy i will take good care of u from now on. pls dont die on me 😭😭😭#see ok this is what happens whem i start to think. i get anxious. i just need to keep not thinking.#it's 10 pm i think thats a good time for sleepies
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Man oni can't do this to me I'm supposed to be preparing for artfight but all I can think abt is Them™ from the second I wake up to the moment I go to bed how am I supposed to prepare in these circumstances 😔
#rat rambles#oni posting#and dude the beta is probably still going to be going during that time klei how could you do this to me#like I will still be participating in artfight but I fear Ill be on oni lockdown for the first week or smth dhskdhkdh#Ill try to at least sketch some stuff out but god if I can get my hands onto any amount of lore its so jover#now thats not a guarantee this is a beta after all but god man. fuck.#also I need to know the new dupes name right now its important#mostly because I want confirmation that I got z on the cypher right lol#chances are theyll just have another a name or smth#who knows maybe theyll have a w name and be the second ever contender for being sent to the constant#although for all we know there could be plenty more w names in the cast that are just hidden in the full names like with nails#I am in such agony rn with seemingly every place ppl post abt oni being dead silent still hello is anyone there#I thought Id at least see some more speculative stuff on the gameplay side of things but Ive seen like 2 things where ppl even bring it up#tbf some of the new stuff seems pretty obvious to deduce to me like there's no way the new fox deers dont produce lumber#and we already know the bunny guys (or the big one at least) provides reed fiber at least#the plants are mostly more mysterious tho#we have the obvious one being our new bestie the oxylite plant and the lil puffball tree thats probably the new decor plant#and the crystal grapes are probably going to be a new muckroot equivalent and at least one of the new plants probably produces smth edible#as for what recourses they need we know that at least 2 of them need watered in some way#Im currently betting theyll need ethanol but thats not based on a lot#honestly if any of them use plain ol water or even any water variants Ill be surprised#I wouldn't be surprised if most of them take ethanol or some liquid gas or smth#I still am holding out on a plant that consumed liquid carbon dioxide but Im not too hopeful#one thing Im very curious on is just everything abt how the oxylite plant grows I wanna know how good itll be so bad#because I am a proud member of the desperately wants more viable oxygen production option in oni gang and I wanna see this baby flourish#but based on how seemingly abundant it is Im afraid itll just join the squad of early game oxygen options that become too much of a hassle#to sustain late game so you're usually just going to switch to exlectroliszers each time#I hope Im wrong but I wont be surprised if Im not#they already took one oxygen plant out back and shot it dead so this guy might just be a corpse on arival if we're unlucky#well hey thats why there's a beta ig gotta make sure things are balanced or whatever
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I loved this movie about nami and her ex situationship reconciling and also anti capitalism
#i have one question are the episode 0 of movies just fanservice am i reding this right. also zoro looks jealous and petty#can they in like love action make zoro chastize sanji bc he is an ally and not just letting him sound jealous and petty like i enjoy both#but clarificaiton sometimes you know. like sanji stop that its dehumanizing and disrespectful also i want you#why are they worried about money when they are in a casino. nami was great at playing cards wasnt she#franky and luffy bonding sumo time.... nami gets the title hell yeah lmao i have been saying she is the strongest#omg the children sellong flowers... dont tell me luffy is going to defeat capitalism in this movie. hell yeah#i was gonna say cant believe they let luffy bet but he does have good luck tho. the stomach ache lmao#sanji is so stupid akdjsksks the guy who likes pain also....don't let sanji think too much about it omg the golden dust....#zoro is going to be executed sanji and luffy are unlucky and all of them are broke and in debt. damn. how are you broke as a pirate even#nami and carina ex situationship talking about trusting each other again looking at the sunset... exactly#that was such a nasty betrayal and nami trusting her again so easily and fast like damn.#also what is the cp0 koala and sabo doing there like damn. jesus even#also what is absalom doing there....#and WHO let luffy infiltrate. FRANKY GOT IMPALED!! gold is really malleable and not resistant and strong like this is getting me out of it#sanji got a cleaning man fit instead of a cleaning lady fit so why is usopp wearing one ajdjaka.... i mean he is the crews babygirl....#also second movie where zoro gets kidnapped. the peoples princess.#omg they are in the pipes. also why is there pipe for the entry of seawater in a boat. maybe i don't know enough about boats#franky getting luffy out of the fan.... cradled like baby jesus for an instant#omg they have been bamboozled BY CARINA?????? OMG AGAIN??? NAMI!!!! OH NVM!!! WHAT???#luffy didnt know they were doing all this cause he would have fucked it up akshaua him being thrown half dead out of the tower ahsuakaia#this reminds me of super mario wii where bowser turns into a bigger bowser when you kill it. damn#also another good guy turned villain because of tragedy. two in a row#the kid with the metal pipe omg... sabo is coming#i heard hikken and the voice was so similar i wondered why ace was there.... for a millisecond he was there..... 😞#the red hawk and everything..... should we all kill ourselves.... omg carina didnt betray her actually#tesoro dumb asf for taking nami look how he is going down after that lmao didnt expect gear fourth tho. damn#still thinking about how gold isnt that strong so this shouldn't be necessary but alas shonen be shonen. luffy saving namis gf too <3#talking tag#watching one piece#watching one piece movies
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i hate you stellar warp, i hate you i hate you i hate you i fucking HATE you
#YELLS WITH FRUSTRATION#now up to 70 pity#271/300 so 29 more pulls until choosing#just...all i've gotten from this fucking warp the ENTIRE time i've played this game is a bronya himeko and one 5* lc#i want other peoples' luck SO BADLY i want to cry#like all i got from the starter warp was bronya and then those 3 things from regular/stellar and like#why am i so fucking unlucky why is my rng so bad#every time it's the same thing just one shitty 4* thing and that's it#and yet there's people who're like wow i got two 5* and three 4* and i got it at 35 pity lol#like here's the spots for gepard and bailu or even welt or yanqing or clara in my roster IF I EVER FUCKING WON THIS WARP#/sigh#all i wanted for fucking month after month after month for what 3/4 of a year has been gepard (or now him or bailu)#and nothing just jack shit nothing#and none of the other 5*s either like there's fucking seven of them i've gotten two there are FIVE others it could give#but it never does#if i finally win one to pity and it's a duplicate himeko or bronya i am going to literally learn chinese to yell at their entire staff#now to wait another 3-4 weeks until i can scrape together another 10 passes to see how it screws me over next time#please ignore my sr bs
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i might have chickenpox...
#👉🤡💀👈#WHY AM I SO UNLUCKY#FIRST PNEUMONIA NOW THIS#I'M SO FUCKING ITCHY#IT MAKES ME WANNA TEAR MY SKIN OFF AND KILL EVERYONE NEARBY GRRRRRR
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RRAR
#guess whos unlucky ass got classes with the single person from this semester who i didnt like. again. for next semester#not a bad person. not a bad person no not at all. in fact they are very kind and friendly and inclusive.#i. do not like being included. in fact i like when people respect that i like being left alone. i love when people respect that#THIS ONE DOES NOT RESPECT THAT#remember that post i made? about how being a fujoshi is a bad thing? i made that post. because this person. used that term. at me.#i am. a gay PERON. yes i STILL LOOK VERY FEMALE YES I GET THAT NO I DONT HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHY IM NOT A FUJOSHI OR EVEN A WOMAN#nearly every time this person interacts with me (none of them initiated by yours truly) something fucking uncomfortable happens.#and i know. i know in my heart of hearts. that theyre trying their best. but i get so tired of overly nice people i know thats my own issue#another thing i hate is fake compliments. i really hate them. i never give shallow compliments to peoples work like a LOOKS GOOD not even#i ALWAYS take the time to consume the work and think about it before i give MEANINGFUL compliments. always#many MANY TIMES this person has like passed by my computer or whatever and WITHIN SECONDS said ‟woah that looks really good!‟#wh. n. you#you looked at it for nary a minute. id rather you said nothing at all#again. i KNOW im being dramatic you should know that i know this. i know theyre being polite and im being a baby#but. another. fucking semester. with this person#i really fucking cant#i was looking forward to the next semester because there would be new people since i didnt vibe with my class from this semester#lo and FUCKING behold. the worst person from this semester is going to be my classmate AGAIN#fuck fuck fuck i am so whiny i know i know i know i am. but FUCK dude college is stressful enough.#(... it helps that their art... doesnt look good aksjdhf but you didnt hear me say that)#weasel speaks#asks!
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I knew it existed
the fact that alfred was the one to put up jason's memorial is so important to me
#this thing was my holy grail#how does it feel to be my indiana jones??#also im thinking those tags are being way to nice to alfred#because (and this is fairly canonical) alfred has never been shown to understand how bruce grieves#in fact he and jason are pretty similar in that they do not understand bruces emotional responses to things#and because they do not understand it they do not respect it as being the correct or right response#and i dont think i need to explain why thats bullshit#do i#anyways i think society needs to acknowledge that alfred is one of those grandparents#who’s own children have to grieve the relationship they never had before they accept the relationship they have with their own children#and bruce is lucky in that while Alfred never considered himself bruce father or father figure and made that clear to bruce#and hes unlucky because alfred was still acting as a father figure#and thats gonna fuck you up#also ‘my son is disassociating from his son’s traumatic death so i will force him to acknowledge the ways in which he may believe himself to#be responsible for his death with a memorial that emphasizes how he put him in danger 24/7’ is a fucked up move. thats hugo strange levels#of malpractice right there#and it made bruce *worse* so like. bullshit. i call bullshit on the whole endeavor alfred meet me in a parking lot im going to deck you#alfred pennyworth#bruce wayne#comic#reference#i am not losing this again
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Just me always yelling at my brain lol
#i need a new cord for my drawing tablet. the current one keeps disconnecting in the middle of me drawing:/#anyway this is a common thing i yell @ my brain thanks#if i'm allowed to drop que and max. other people are allowed to do the same to me.#i am not immune to consequences#its been easier to solidify this lesson since i had to remove que & max from my life tho.#prior to the both of them i just couldn't understand why you'd ever block someone you supposedly love#mostly bc my parents are outright abusive towards each other & are still together so my child brain was like HEY THATS NORMAL#i know better now.#BOUNDARIES PEOPLE. BOUNDARIES.#posted here only bc i wanted it on my main but its technically art ig lol#my bpd go brrr but i am reminding myself why i am not sending a message!#i wanna make better art but my drawing tablet is nooooot working well enough so i'll have to do traditional#my one method of venting is very difficult to achieve rn#i'm so unlucky with wires. i sit weird so i always end up fucking up cords bc they get bent weird#but i need to do SOMETHING so i can make my brain STOP going brrr
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The numerically-related spell I recited and wrote down incessantly in high school is kicking my ass and also may literally break my bones at some point in the near future.
#So I have this spell… I made it with so much feeling and vibes behind it but couldn’t specify exactly why I felt that way#or what the purpose of the spell was despite knowing every reference and mostly every facet of the symbolism#All I knew was “yes this feels right and I know it will work so I’m going to say it over and over again to make it do whatever I want”#It is related to certain numbers which have followed me everywhere since — You guessed it! — FOUR years ago#when it was TWENTY-TWENTY and I was SIXTEEN#Now it’s APRIL and I am TWENTY and soon it will be APRIL TWENTY-FOURTH TWENTY-TWENTY-FOUR#And I woke up really fucking sick on APRIL FOURTH of this year#And I took Japanese for enough years to know “shi” (four) also means “death” and is a very unlucky number over there#but the spell itself is supposed to be good (but in a really really weird way that only I could possibly enjoy)#and the source material on which I based the spell has lots of Japanese elements to it#I think I know how to interpret it here but idk#Oh and also I included this spell and it’s imagery EVERYWHERE (including in all the diaries and sketchbooks my parents destroyed)#Hell I even made my own knot magic on it… also destroyed#You know what happens when you destroy spell-related materials right? They get released. Into the universe.#So idk if this is going to be very good or very bad#But I haven’t said the spell aloud or at all in four years except for one time in my mind#because I’m kind of afraid of it now
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My body is a disgusting wasteful nightmare and i hate every inch of it and want to fucking off myself.
#my posts#vent#im literally always so close to offing myself every time i see someone who actually got something out of HRT#why am i so fucking unlucky all the time
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i pulled for baizhu three times, and got Charlotte the three times
im gonna kms
#i hate genshin#i hate everything#i fucking hate gacha#fuck you hoyoverse#why am i so unlucky#i only got two five stars in two years of playing#this isnt fair#this is so stupid
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An important message to college students: Why you shouldn't use ChatGPT or other "AI" to write papers.
Here's the thing: Unlike plagiarism, where I can always find the exact source a student used, it's difficult to impossible to prove that a student used ChatGPT to write their paper. Which means I have to grade it as though the student wrote it.
So if your professor can't prove it, why shouldn't you use it?
Well, first off, it doesn't write good papers. Grading them as if the student did write it themself, so far I've given GPT-enhanced papers two Ds and an F.
If you're unlucky enough to get a professor like me, they've designed their assignments to be hard to plagiarize, which means they'll also be hard to get "AI" to write well. To get a good paper out of ChatGPT for my class, you'd have to write a prompt that's so long, with so many specifics, that you might as well just write the paper yourself.
ChatGPT absolutely loves to make broad, vague statements about, for example, what topics a book covers. Sadly for my students, I ask for specific examples from the book, and it's not so good at that. Nor is it good at explaining exactly why that example is connected to a concept from class. To get a good paper out of it, you'd have to have already identified the concepts you want to discuss and the relevant examples, and quite honestly if you can do that it'll be easier to write your own paper than to coax ChatGPT to write a decent paper.
The second reason you shouldn't do it?
IT WILL PUT YOUR PROFESSOR IN A REALLY FUCKING BAD MOOD. WHEN I'M IN A BAD MOOD I AM NOT GOING TO BE GENEROUS WITH MY GRADING.
I can't prove it's written by ChatGPT, but I can tell. It does not write like a college freshman. It writes like a professional copywriter churning out articles for a content farm. And much like a large language model, the more papers written by it I see, the better I get at identifying it, because it turns out there are certain phrases it really, really likes using.
Once I think you're using ChatGPT I will be extremely annoyed while I grade your paper. I will grade it as if you wrote it, but I will not grade it generously. I will not give you the benefit of the doubt if I'm not sure whether you understood a concept or not. I will not squint and try to understand how you thought two things are connected that I do not think are connected.
Moreover, I will continue to not feel generous when calculating your final grade for the class. Usually, if someone has been coming to class regularly all semester, turned things in on time, etc, then I might be willing to give them a tiny bit of help - round a 79.3% up to a B-, say. If you get a 79.3%, you will get your C+ and you'd better be thankful for it, because if you try to complain or claim you weren't using AI, I'll be letting the college's academic disciplinary committee decide what grade you should get.
Eventually my school will probably write actual guidelines for me to follow when I suspect use of AI, but for now, it's the wild west and it is in your best interest to avoid a showdown with me.
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this fucking place is offering jobs in every location on the planet except for the one i want
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