#why that cover specifically? idk
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“Good Luck, Babe!”
#parkour civilization#pkciv#evbo#seawatt gaming#clownpierce#seavbo#mcyt#comic#croudjay draws#this comic took years off my life#((i regret coloring this orz))#anyway this comic was inspired by rain paris' cover of good luck babe#why that cover specifically? idk
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I got bored.
For those occasions when the straights can't fathom why you ship The Gays™
#i was inspired#mostly i just saw deadpool vs wolverine but it got me thinking#made because my sister didn't completely understand why we all thought the honda scene was gay#and because the few times we share a fandom she doesn't always understand why i ship something#ill use this to make her understand now#also considering making some specifically for yuri polycules asexuals and various genders lol#but for now its just the gays™#“why do you think they're gay?” bingo#shipping#crack shipping#gay ships#gay shipping#yaoi#fujoshi#i dont consider myself that last one but i feel like they'd appreciate this <3#uhhh and other tags idk#aml speaks#bingo card#bingo#this was made at like 7am idc if it looks good or not it was just for fun#ship bingo#shipping bingo#gay ship bingo#gay ships bingo#gay shipping bingo#listen im just trying to cover all my bases here ok#and yk what only cause i mentioned it in the tags#poolverine#aml memes#forgot about that one lol
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aventurine pl. Plea s e . PLLEEEEEEASE
#★ arin rambles#‘here we go again’ you think everytime you see my ramble tag. I dont blame you#AVENTURINE AVENTURINE PLEASE SAVE ME WHITE BOY#OH MY LORD#OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS OH MY GOODNESS.#MY JSOE IS RUNNING HES RUINNING MY LIFE I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE IM SO ILL PLEASE I#AVENTURINE. im so serious i can talk about this man all day. and more specifically this video#‘it was just posted 30 minutes ago arin youre scaring the kids’ SILENCE. I NEED SPACE#I NEED A. A MOMENT. EVERYBODY PLEAS GETA WAY FROM ME IM GOING TO GET SO SCARY#Please. Im so sorry. Im begging you . I love this man oh my gish please hes so cute#HES SO CUTE. HES SO CUTE IM SO SICK OF HIM WHY???????? WHY IS HE SO PRETTY HES SO PRETTY HES GOREGOUS HES SO STUNNING. HELLO. HELLO.#Im going to. Slam my head against the wall im overwhelmed with joy and happiness hes everything ive ever wanted ever#any minute not spent talking about him is a moment wasted i promise you MY PRINCESS IM COMING TO SAVE YOU#IM HIS KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR EXCEPT ITS NOT SHINY#IM COVERED IN DIRT#IM STILL COMING FOR YOU AVENTURINE RUN#oh goodness me oh my#im so happy hes so prettu im so happy i cant do rhis im sweating geniumnly i feel so sick#Im cant . Do this anymore. I CANT TAKE IT. I HAVE TO… AAUGH… AAAHH… I HAVE TO…. DANCE!#guys…. he my favorriet…#my slinky….. my krimpet… my teacup i think. My doc mc stuffins doctor playset. My dishwasher. My italian coldsteel cinquedea . atp anything#hes my EVERYTHING. MY EVERYTHING…!!!!!!!! *MY TELEKENISIS THROWS EVERYTTHING ACROSS THE ROOM*#yall i dont think ive had a hyperfixation this horribly bad since. Since the. Since. MAN I DONT KNOW#IM COOKED. HE WOMT LEAVE ME ALONE. I LITERALLY DREAMT OF HIM LAST NIGHT LIKE IM SO DOOMED? ACTUALLY?#oh to be medicated and focus on . Things like cooking. Or idk. Getting a job. No i just think about some messed up blonde all day im absolut#ly DOOMED#yes im still yapping i got 30 tags u gon stick through them all. Every single one of them. Dont leave me please i want to talk about him ton#TO SOMEONE. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM TO SOMEONE ALL DAY. ALL MY FRIENDS ARE TESTING. IM LEFT ALONE ALL DAY I JUST WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY WIFE#i womder how crazy i look right now#Sighs lovingly at him..
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Interesting thing about the Big Dipper is it’s part of a larger constellation, Ursa Major, and the Little Dipper is Ursa Minor. The moles on the Yoshiki face are like the moles on his dad’s except his dad has more. Just kind of further visually connecting Yoshiki to his father with constellations.
#The myth of the Ursas is that woman had kid with Zeus and got turned into a bear. Her kid went bear hunting and didn’t realize it was her#So Zeus turned them both into constellations to stop him from killing her#Yoshiki tries to kill his dad when?#Would be iconic of him#Ig this is a loose connection because they specifically say big dipper#And it’d make more sense for Yoshiki to be the Little Dipper since he’s the jr but I just thought it was interesting#Yoshiki has a bit of a thing with stars. Curtain-like bangs for his face to hide the moles#Idk makes me think of how in big cities they have light pollution that covers up the night sky and stars#Just more of Yoshiki emulating the big city in an attempt to reject the countryside#The kenshiro thing is a reference to the fist of the north star#And the North Star is a part of Ursa Minor which really makes you wonder why they said Big Dipper here#Don’t they know I’m trying to pull symbolism out of my ass 🙄 work with me here#hikaru ga shinda natsu#the summer hikaru died#hgsn#Real post in the tags#My hgsn shit
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I've had a dream in which someone made a cover of "the last supper"/"gethsemane" from jesus christ superstar, but the lyrics were changed to fit viktor and jayce and it was AMAZING. SPECTACULAR. i wish it was real sdfghjkl
#i was dizzy the entire day AND had a very upset stomach (idk why; i guess it's a cold or smth?)#and therefore i didn't catch much sleep and i've barely eaten anything#so when I've finally fell asleep my brain gave me this most amazing vision#......it's worth noting the ''someone'' in question was studio accantus (and more specifically marcin franc and kuba jurzyk ofc)#(they made AMAZING polish versions of jesus christ superstar's songs. y'all should check them out. seriously.)#tbh marcin franc could play viktor in a live adaptation; he has the perfect kind of a beautiful tired eastern european face sdfghjkl#NOW THAT I'M LISTENING TO THE STUDIO ACCANTUS COVERS I THINK I COULD ACTUALLY. turn this dream into reality and make it into a fanvid???...#idk i need to think about it some more and then maybeee??.......#arcane#jayce#viktor#jayvik#jesus christ superstar#studio accantus
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I'm in shambles today. my mini fridge melted some of the ice in its little freezer compartment and I didn't realize until now and now my rug that's sitting there (almost underneath it) is soaked on the corner 🥲🫠
#its like. an eighth of the rug?? idk. it still pisses me off tho 😭#like WHY why did you melt. youre so annoying. im so annoyed ahsjsjsj#i cant even move it out atm because i have so much fucking shit covering it UGH 😕 i hate. depression. and depression rooms (specif. mine).#im just hoping itll dry out by itself. i do NOT want mold jfc.#ill prolly check it in a couple hours (so long as i dont fall asleep for a millenia 🧍♂️)#yapping
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Post: gender identity is complicated and everyone has their own unique relationship with it. Presentation does not equal gender and not everyone likes strict labels!
Me: Yeah! True! This is great so far please don't turn this into-
Post: I will now use this as an excuse to obsessively list every possible way in which a lesbian ends up with a man. I will equate butches and gnc women to men, completely missing my own point when I said presentation doesn't equal gender. Also being transmasc is always the same as being male aligned btw. I'm going to find a way to fit dissociative identity disorder into this for some reason. I'm also going to be really condescending and talk like no lesbian has ever understood the concept of gender noncomformity, ambiguity and complex relationships to gender. No, I never talk this way about gay men and nblm why do you ask
#it's like. idk. for a certain niche group of people ''complex gender identity'' just means ''maleness included''#yeah nonbinary bigender and genderfluid people can be lesbians obviously and a lot of relationship nuance will depend...#... on the specific people involved. But also gender can be complex and nuanced and strange without involving maleness#why does non standard gender expression always seem to mean proximity to manhood for a certain group of people and why are they obsessed...#with attaching lesbians to men but never the inverse?#also do we forget that unaligned people exist. Like did we forget there are people who are attached to neither#or do we just have 4 genders now. boy girl nb(boy) and nb(girl)#really frustrating to genuinely consider no longer calling myself transmasc bc people point and go MAN! BOY!#even though part of the reason the terms transmasc and transfem exist as terms is to cover folks transitioning in a specific direction...#...without necessarily being the opposing binary gender#like idk. you can be cool with complex gender without also being gross towards lesbians who set reasonable boundaries regarding men#yes including trans men#Obligatory disclaimer this is a specific niche kind of post no I don't think everyone talking about nonstandard gender expression is doing.#... secret anti-lesbian dogwhistle posting there's just a specific brand of weirdo who are always strange about this
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christ it hits me a lot how shit I was treated by lull and how much I thought that was normal. Lev set up a study room in my house, and... he said I can come in because I was sort of obviously asking the question without even knowing I was asking, like I wanted to ask the question but knew it'd be a no. Why did I know itd be a no? Well a study space is a serious space for actual academic and general people who do work to use, full of books and journals that both aren't my business and will be easily messed up if I touch them, and there's no reason for me to be in there anyway because I don't do work, a study is only a space for normal people and not people who mess everything up and - how do i know this? Oh I mean because lull - yeah
#It drives me up the wall how lull constantly pulled ''Black is abusive and that's why I'm fucked up and if he tells me off it's actually#abuse'' when like. Lull was out there hunting down Black's lives and Black just goes ''oh fuck I trust you idk why you'd lie about#something serious like that I guess I AM abusive'' lull is the abuse in the room with us now. or is it that I touched your books#and messed up the cleanliness of the desk and now you're having a minor breakdown because I ruined your image in front of others#It was literally just a fucking cover because lull did fucked up things and when Black went hold on. Did you do that? Lull would be like#No and you're so fucking mean to me you're horrible you're fucking abusive you're controlling you're -#One of us is here trying to live and give you both space and everything we have. The other one... Is trying to literally get in bed#and marry unknowing unawakened lives of the other before they can wake up to who they are and grooming and manipulating#and fucking them up. Bruh. You wouldn't let me do things like be an equal to you and go near you stuff without mental punishment#and I said oh god OK I'm sorry. I won't do that. And yet somehow I'm abusive and controlling and... I mean I said it already that was a#cover. it wasn't meant to make sense lmfao it was a specific tactic tailor made for us like all the tactics are tailor made for each victim#But anyway. Seriously. I'm scared to go into Lev's study. I'm standing in here anyway bc I need to get over it but like#It's wild to me - oh. I was sitting asking why I'm so trained about not going near his study like ''man why this though why#was this such a bad thing to do when it's not that serious'' because /all his fucking notes and diaries and records of the fucked up shit#he was up to/. I wasn't allowed to see his books and records on manipulation#The fuckin Dossiers he kept detailing specific manipulation tactics and experiments done on people's results and shit#I wasn't allowed to see all the papers and shit he had on psychological torture and shit#Bruh. It always makes sense in the fucking end doesn't it#ramblings //#astral diary //#Diary //
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Bought a stupid amount of black leather that almost certainly used to be part of a sofa for a quid and now im fighting for my life trying to paint swirly celtic bird wings because i have zero self control
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im so full of anger every day that it makes it hard to function. what do i do
#blah blah blah#i generally try to not tamp down my thoughts and feelings but at what point is it 'being open' and at what point is it 'stewing'#i miss doing therapy but my medicaid doesnt cover psychiatric care#and my workplace is likely to schedule me back down at 20h/week once our new manager begins here#im so mad . he starts next week but idk if that means sunday (tomorrow) or monday#and why was only next week's schedule posted. why not the whole month#i have another job trying to schedule me and that one is easier to move around than the main one#full timers work 30h or more#and ive been working at least 35 every week for the past month since weve not had a manager#i want healthcare#i know im in a privileged position where i can even try to demand these things#but i am worried about the nextg year bc i dont know what my hours will look like yet#so i can't reliably predict my income for the year to select my own plan through the state service??#luckily open enrollment is nov and dec and it's only the start of nov now#i don't have a third recommender for phd programs so i can't fully submit those applications yet#im just so full of anger i feel unable to move#and the anger is of course about the odd time trying to balance my two part time jobs and rent and health#but it's also about! gestures at the globe full of things happening!#i am immobilized by anger and it's putting a big strain on my relationship with my partner and my family!#i don't know that going back to therapy would fix these things but if i could at least have a person to talk to once a week#specifically dedicated to talking about Problems#idk#maybe it would lessen the amount im dumping on everyone else#it feels so privileged and selfish and evil of me to have desires and feeling like i am the world's center of evil isnt helping anyone#pursuing a phd wouldnt be helping anyone#being unable to move for how full of emotions i am isnt helping anyone#maybe i should just . remembers suicide jokes are bad etc. join the circus
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been thinking some more about Klapollo and I think the only way I’d like it is if it’s like “could’ve happened if they were on the same page about it for like five fucking seconds but they never were it’s tragic really”
because like that leads to nonsense in my brain of like [texting] Klavier: Yeah so I got this new lipbalm Apollo: Cool what’s it called? Klavier: Passion crush or something idk Apollo: What’s it taste like? Klavier: Why don’t you come over and try it yourself? Apollo: Ew that’s super unhygienic don’t share your make up products with others. Klavier, aloud, at his phone: WHY DOES NOTHING I DO WORK ON YOU OH MEIN GOTT
#klavier gavin#apollo justice#give me more Klavier being absolutely completely flabbergasted that nothing in his flirting database does anything#plz its the funniest fucking thing to me#sorry im shipper [nonpracticing] idk why im like this either#canonxcanon so rarely does anything for me its not an AA specific problem trust#me wow the enterkey interrupted me#IDK WHAT ELSE TO TELL YOU ITS COOL I GUESS I JUST DONT GO OUT OF MY WAY TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT#y'all got it covered you dont need my input on anything
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@e-22912 Ricks give me brainrot. So here’s me practicing more dynamic poses on CSP by sketching their Bloodshower Rick.
#rick and morty#rick sanchez#for some reason when I was contemplating how to draw him#I couldn’t stop thinking about goop#black sludge specifically#idk why but I ended up sketching him like a feral cryptid#it just happened#he looks like something from the backrooms#he would definitely run at me on all fours in an empty parking lot just to fuck with me#anyways here he is covered in sludge bc I’m in the mood to draw eerie things#but also bc I’m not skilled enough to draw clothes in such dynamic poses yet#Bloodshower Rick#my art#practice#sketch
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ive been switching lanes waaay too fast this week. Anyway having some mini identity crisises over how little i actually understood about nuclear fusion
#me#a shitpost can be blue#physics#i guess#tis about how i knew so little about quarks#like okay i know their names i like knew they had like charges that were colours#thatw e call colours. but id uh missed the part where that leads tp actually looking how they interact and also waves#this came from me helping my best friends little syster#with a presentation on nuclear energy#and so i was just like huh i know it works like that but like why exactly does that give off energy as a byproduct?#and then i. and then i had to sit there like. ah#its been so long since ive actually looked at physics#like interesting physics not explaining basic concepts to a kid for school#cuz i have. highschool physics at best at this point and#uh my grandfather was a phycisist and he was writhing a book on some theories when i was 2 to 3ish#and he was babysitting me and we stayed close till my early teen years#so ive actually always known just tht bit much more about particles specifically then my peers#idk its always been interesting to me#but now im coming over here like oh ive lost the#constant building of knowedge over the years that id gotten used to#because like we would cover some material in school i kinda new#id get curious and look a bunch of atuff up#but ive actively been forgetting physics for a few years now and it idk it hit#im just not keeping up with my sciences#which is a terrible blow to my little curious ass#like ive been keeping up with literary education and fashion history and phylosophy#but ive been missing the biology and physics and chemistry actually#but i dont tend to hyperfocus on theese topics so im jot sure how to keep at it#cuz i like learning stuff like that and sometimes ill go on binges of learning about curves#but idk ive been missing my dose of i guess the harder sciences part of it
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Yknow it's quite funny to me that the weather that makes me feel the best is also somehow the weather that makes me derealize/dissociate the most.
Like spring and fall genuinely ARE better for my mental health (and physical but that's not what I'm talking abt lmao), I'm way less suicidal, way more relaxed and generally I finally feel mostly at peace. But also I will spend 90% of the entire season feeling like a stranger in my own brain, completely convinced that nothing is real and I don't even exist, that everything that's happened is just part of some hallucination or sick fever dream that started when I was 8 and I still haven't been able to wake up from.
... But the sun is warm and it calms my soul so who really cares amiright
#I still can't figure out why spring and fall specifically are guaranteed to trigger it tho#like. without fail the second it warms up/cools down. everything is fake and I don't exist#and it's hard to point out the difference bcuz#once it starts it feels like I've always felt this way but once it ends it's like it never happened at all#idk man it's weird#armchair speaks#tw suicide mention#suicide mention#tw derealization#derealization#dp/dr#hopefully that covers it?? if I need another tag lmk /g
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Feeling thoughts abt the pics of the Red Bulls covered in confetti post-Brazil(2010 & 2012)
#okay fine im being a carf*cker#my bff shamed me when i told her these pics made me feel like carf*cker#i will not be shamed for speaking my truth!#but okay like in all of my tags under posts abt seb brazil podiums ive commented abt how i like the confetti#i just think all the pics from Brazil(especially 2010/2012) look sooooo good like so insanely pleasing bcs of it#so i was looking around at all the brazil pics on motorsport and gettyimages and-#ALL THE PICTURES OF THE RBR COVERED IN CONFETTI MADE ME SO FERAL AHSJSKSKS#idk why???? but when i look at these pics im just so 😩#ugh theyre just so pretty like w the confetti stuck in the tire degradation and on the bull and on the driver number#anyways im feeling like a carf*cker bcs of these pics in specific#brazil podiums my absolute beloved but i think i should only post these car pics bcs otherwise id make like a 30 pic post hahaha#rb6-rb9 are sexy does anything else really need to be said?#f1#formula 1#red bull racing#rb6#rb8#we do a little bit of f1#catie.rambling.txt
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i remember sometime after wowaka died i avoided listening to unknown mother goose bc i assumed (correctly) that itd be p sad n emotional like. most of his songs had the reputation of being. and i simply wasnt in the right mindset to go thru all that but i ended up listening to it on accident bc i found a cover of it that was really Really good n was (still is) my favorite version even after listening to a bunch of others. like it did things that other covers just didnt seem to figure out how to do that just Felt right yknow. anyway a few years later i listened to a tribute mashup of wowaka doing a self cover of that song along with miku and i have yet to feel anything close to when i immediately recognized his voice as the one that sang the first version of the song i ever heard. and thats how i found out hitorie was wowakas band
#^ guy who just watched a bunch of live wowaka song performances n is feelings things abt it#idk what it is abt his cover of unknown mother goose specifically that just. is different#actually part of it is literally just that one high note . yknow the one. the way he does it is so ......#everyone else tries to mimic the miku version of that part bc. of course why wouldnt u obviously#so i guess it makes sense that hed know how to do it in a way that differs but is way less Like That#but yea when i fuckin Realized that was the same guy it was just. oh .
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