#pursuing a phd wouldnt be helping anyone

[adhdphilosopher]

im so full of anger every day that it makes it hard to function. what do i do

[linguistich]

Langblr, help!

Hi okay so I don’t usually talk about my stuff on here & I really don’t know if anyone will even see this post, but I currently have a big life decision to make and you are the people I need to help me!

So I will try to keep this as short as possible. I have struggled my entire college career to commit to anything. I’ve changed colleges now twice and changed majors many more than that. I’ve stayed in the realm of people, culture, brains, and language and I know that that’s the stuff I care about, but finding a specific academic path to lead me into a career has been challenging. I’m currently taking things slow and transfered to a community college to boost my gpa and finish up some basic credits that I still need, which is okay for now, but I really need a game plan here soon.

My original idea with transferring to this school was to do a Neurodiagnostic Technology (NDT) program. It has the brain and the people that I like to study, has a secure job on the other side of it, and is only a two year program, so I wouldn’t have to worry about school for too long. Still, I need to get into it first. Before, I was double majoring in Anthropology and Communication Sciences and Disorders. I love anthropogy and I’m actually not too far from getting my B.A. but the DCOM wasn’t exactly taking me the direction I wanted. The classes were only tending to Speech Pathology purposes and that isn’t what I want to do. I took years of speech therapy when I was younger and I know that isn’t the path for me.

If I could do absolutely anything, I would want to study Anthropology and Linguistics (neurolinguistics, sociolinguistics, language acquisition, evolution of languages, etc. - all stuff my other school didn’t have), participate in research studies, go on to earn a PhD. The ultimate goal would be to work as a Professor at a university. I want to be someone who inspires students, who can give a young person a reason to keep going, who can make a difference in someone’s life. I want to be able to teach people, preferably not just about linguistics but about life.

A lot of you on here seem to be pursuing a similar path. My problem with it currently is my debilitating social anxiety. It is the reason I dropped out from two schools. It is the reason my gpa lowered. It has been the thing that has kept me from becoming involved in any extracurriculars. In order to do what I would love to do, I need to be able to show up. I need to be able to be involved. Being around people, having to talk, even just the anxiety of taking up space in a room has been something I’ve had to overcome. I’ve come a long way, especially this past year, but I still struggle sometimes and I’m terrified of regression. I’m terrified that in the middle of this linguistics journey I’m going to break down, not be able to complete it, and have no options. Nothing useful under my belt, no career paths, wasted investments.

So, I guess what I’m asking is: What is it like? What am I really up against? Has anyone gone through anything similar? If so, how do you deal with your mental health + university? I have this strong feeling that every venture I’ve taken with school hasn’t worked out because it hasn’t been what I was actually passionate about. I fear that this NDT program will be just like that and I’ll fail that too. Maybe I should just go for the thing I really care about even with all the obstacles? Would it be worth it? What if I get my B.A. but can’t go on from there, what kind of jobs would be available?

I know the narrative is usually “follow your dreams!! work hard and you can achieve anything!! if it’s your passion then it’s what you should be doing!!” but let’s be realistic here. Sometimes people just aren’t made for it. Some dreams are just dreams. Education is an expensive risk to take. I’ve already messed up a lot. I need some real advice from people who are in it and know it. So please, if anyone has any advice, pleeeease message me, reply, reblog, anything. I value your experiences and knowledge!!

[nisitime]

university asks

How far along are you in your studies? Finally finished

How far do you plan on pursuing academia? Finished bitch

What made you want to attend university? Get a Job

What do you study? restoration of patrimony

What do you wish to accomplish by studying at university? Money

What do you want to do with your degree? Get money

What’s your dream job? Illustrator

Has university been what you expected it to be? nop

What’s the most important thing you have learned about yourself at university? you get fucked, u need to get up by yourself

What surprised you the most about university? no one gives a fuck

What classes are you taking this/next semester? NONE

What has been the most interesting class you’ve taken? Art History

What has been your favourite class you’ve taken? Drawing Comics

What is your favourite professor like? HUGE geek but super sweet and supportive.

If you have to write a thesis, what are you going to write it on? I WONT

What is your weird academic niche? drugs

What’s your favourite thing about academia? aesthetics

What’s your least favourite thing about academia? everything is broken

Would you go to a different university if you had to choose again? no

Would you choose a different subject if you had to choose again? YES

If you couldn’t study the subject you study now, what would you study? Drawing

What is your favourite course style? when the teacher is actually caring and teaches us

Theoretical or practical? YEs

Best book you’ve had to read for a course? cant remember cause i had to read loads

Worst book you’ve had to read for a course? same as last one

Favourite online resource? google is my best friend

The topic of the best essay you’ve written? i wrote about a show called ''a girl from nowhere'' TWICE ON DIFFERENT ESSAYS AND I GOT 16/20 ON BOTH

Would you ever consider getting a phd? no

Who is doing the most interesting research in your field at the moment? dono

Do you have any minors? i didnt had those

What is subject you wish your university taught but doesn’t? how to get a job in this field

What is an area of your subject you wish your university taught but doesn’t? same as 31

The best advice anyone has ever given you about university? You do You Fuck the teacher but lick their boots.

Do you care about your grades? YES

Do you think you study enough? when i have to

How did your attitude towards studying and school change between high school and university? ALOT

What do you do to rewind? think about the fact that i finished

Best tip for making friends at university? i didnt had friends

Are you involved in any clubs/societies/extracurriculars? no

Have you done or are you planning on doing any internships? yes

What is an interesting subject that you would never study yourself? if its interesting why wouldnt i study?

What has been your favourite thing about university so far? GETTING OUT OF IT

What is your plan B career? there should be a plan B?

Do you ever regret your choice of subject or university? yes

Do you ever regret going to university? sometimes

How do you study? i copy my notes and make diagrams and audio record the classes to take the extra notes i couldnt at the time

What do you wish you’d done differently in your first year? putting more effort into talking with ppl with contacts

What things do you think you did right in your first year? i met an AMAZING class (we still hang out) and we all helped eachother with notes and study groups, it was nice. we even did a secret santa

What are your thoughts on Academia? its cool but be safe, there are alot of sharks out there

Strangest university tip you have? Drink alot of water during class and dont wear bright yellow cause it stands out alot, and follow your intuition. If the teacher says its wrong u Get your shit together and ''man up'' and get the talk to the point where he/she will actually agree on your project.