#why is this making me emotional...

[verysium]

ive always imagined mrs itoshi to be a really energetic woman. you know those middle aged women that are just so youthful, you can feel her energy and aura when she's in the room. and she would definitely love saes gf. because sae has a personality totally opposite to hers but after committing to a relationship he learns a lot from you and you encourage him to to strengthen his family bonds. she would LOVE spending time with you, talk to you about fashion and gossip. she'd call you her daughter in lawww omg shut up i love her

🥲 *cries in heavily dysfunctional mommy issues* when will it finally be my turn to experience the kind and loving touch of a middle-aged woman? sae better treasure his mama or else i'm gonna steal her from him when he's not looking.

on a more realistic note, i do think mama itoshi would be the type of person who simply doesn't age. there is something irrevocably uplifting and youthful about her, and i think that has a lot to do with the adversity she's faced throughout her lifetime both as a woman and a mother. even though she's soft-spoken, she is firm and headstrong. definitely knows what she wants. she always tells sae that the strongest people are the ones who smile, no matter what life puts them through. (obviously, that lesson flew right over sae's head cus he looks perpetually depressed but whatever...)

i honestly don't think sae has a strong attachment with either parent, but he isn't averse to them either. it's the small things that you pick up about him. how he never lets anyone touch him but stays still when his mother to brush his bangs back. how he never buys those expensive lunch meals during practice because he prefers his mother's homemade bentos. how he doesn't like to show unnecessary emotion but cracks a small smile at his mama's kitchen antics.

idk if it's just me, but i also feel like his mother was the stricter of the two parents. both sae and rin were forced to become self-sufficient from a young age. walked themselves to practice. bought snacks with their own allowance. sae even took a train ride to tokyo by himself to find a representative agent. not saying their parents weren't supportive, but they definitely weren't a constant presence either.

i think what sae needs is time. time to process his youth and to reconcile with his family (both his parents and brother ofc). i feel like he went through a lot of parentification, and undoing that will require a lot of patience. this would probably happen in his late twenties to late thirties, once he's well-established or even retired from football. with so much time on his hands, he has nothing to do but reflect. emotionally mature sae will be very different from current sae.

mama itoshi does welcome you kindly. mostly because none of the itoshis ever fathomed sae getting involved with someone seriously. i just know she has good skincare, so you two probably have girls-only nights where you two do nothing except watch TV dramas and wear face masks. i don't think she's particularly physically affectionate, but she does show her love through cooking. always pinches your cheek fat and tells you that you aren't eating enough (typical asian parent thing to do lmao.) also cuts up random fruits and places it beside your desk lamp while you're working.

i feel like sae has a bit of a hard time coming to terms with the way you assimilate into his family. he already feels like a stranger in his own home, but when his mother treats you like her daughter-in-law, it really gets him thinking. can he be normal? is this what it's like to be normal? is it really okay to have this? long story short, he probably has to reason with himself for one thousand and one nights before he decides he's actually going to marry you.

[egophiliac]

queen of diamonds, upright + reversed 💎

I've redone this like eighty times, I have to just be done with it now and stop staring at all my mistakes oh no 🫠

[quiddie]

Just had a friend show me a conversation in a fan discord about Suvi as a Black American woman in the context of the fallout from the election. And honestly? Yeah. The blueprint is simple: Black women are expected to put their own priorities and emotions on hold to show up for everyone else's battles and hold endless space for everyone's feelings while simultaneously weathering attacks on our character (oh she's so angry/aggressive/violent/rude) and authority (she's a woke hire/affirmative action quota/nepobaby) without complaint. We're expected to save the day under nigh-impossible circumstance, and with fewer resources and support that is AT BEST, conditional.

So yeah, relistening to Suvi's speech in The Witness hurts now. Because that's exactly the feeling I'm wrestling with, and what I see mirrored in the Black women around me. We are exhausted and angry and sad. Those voter percentages are a betrayal of "we" that was promised by other marginalized groups when speaking of the interconnectedness of our liberation. And the unexamined expectation that we immediately rise from the depths of our despair to prepare for the next fight is a cruelty. Suvi isn't real, but if this helps lend empathy toward actual Black women in the world, then I'm glad.

[griffin-ktb]

Their pages in the Book of Bill make me physically ill I can’t 😭🙏

[deathricedrawn]

i'm ready to try

[inkskinned]

today i love the red metal crane in her long neck arching her body over the boston skyline, which means i am okay for a moment. when i am unwell, everything is a little ugly. i always tell myself look for the beauty but when it is bad, i will look at birds and sunsets and little ducklings and feel absolutely nothing.

when my brother got his puppy, i was in a deep depression. what kind of monster isn't affected by a puppy. i was gentle and kind to her - i just didn't have an emotional reaction. she's five now and i feel like i spend all of our interactions apologizing to her - i don't know why. i just didn't feel anything. how embarrassing. i feel like if i admit that, i'll seem cruel and jaded. it comes in waves. like, two months ago when i went out into the world - it was like that. life behind a pane of stormglass. a firework could go off over your head - nothing. like dead skin, no reaction. not to ice cream or rainbows or baby chickens. life foggy and uninteresting.

i love goslings again. i love their little webbed feet splayed over grass. i love good food and live music and long walks. i like puppies. i feel like some kind of my soul has been starved - i keep staring at everything with wide eyes, trying to burrow the sensation into my stomach. it's real. beauty is real. when it's bad again, remember this. i stop and smell the flowers, feeling cliche in the moment. i like the white-to-red ombre of my neighbor's roses. i like colorcoding and yoga and cold drinks. i try to pass my hands over every moment, feeling like i'm squeezing joy out of every instant. remember this. for the love of god, it's real - just remember this.

[bixels]

tarpit site.

[bloodydeanwinchester]

the thing about destiel that hits so hard for me is that cas is thee number one dean understander. no one in dean’s life has EVER gotten dean the way that cas does. no one has ever even tried to. dean takes care of everyone he loves. but cas…cas is the only one who takes care of dean back

[vaguely-concerned]

sometimes I think of all the on-the-surface warm, well-meaning but deeply ineffectual advice and attention john gives harrow through harrow the ninth (make some soup and get some sleep! get a hobby! don't be so hard on yourself! self care harrow! as long as I need take no actual responsibility in this relationship whatsoever I would have loved to be your dad!) set up against the stark truth that with his other hand he has been staging her attempted horrific murder again and again and again like a living nightmare on the logic that it will 'put her down or fix her'. and then I find that I wish there is a hell. a special hell where twitch streamers turned necromantic death emperors go

[fridgrave2-0]

hehe ghost-turbo haunting felix au

turbo is connected to the last piece of his code in the whole arcade - a trophy he gifted to felix in mid 80s as a symbol of him genuinely caring about their relationships on par with being the best racer. felix also gave him one of his medals and both kept their gifts next to other rewards, but when roadblasters and turbotime were unplugged, the medal was gone with everything else

now, after burning in cola-lava turbo is basically dead, but scraps of his code still were intertwined with the trophy (after all, it was his first winner's cup, but felix never knew about it), giving turbo an opportunity to exist as a shadow incapable of interacting with anything and anyone besides felix, who kept the trophy even after the roadblasters incident

also I went crazy in tags, feel free to check them out

[akiacia]

some of the right words

[taxkha]

Happy to report that 1) I'm still in love with Iwaizumi and 2) I can still draw him from memory

[bunnieswithknives]

I feel bad for neglecting Hazel so much, I do have many thoughts about her.. and also a mermaid au that im probably not going to do anything with

[kristoffs-lullaby]

Jealousy, Jealousy

[blossoms-phan]

i just noticed his belt omgggggg that’s so fucking cute??? my starboy forever 💫💫💫

[chaoticpositvty]

Why is this literally them??