teripharaoh

[teripharaoh]

Stop looking at me like that

As if I’m the most precious thing in the world

When we both know come night fall

Your hands lay on another woman’s body

And I am nothing more than a unattainable

Desire for your bed

I’d be a foolish woman to believe your words carry any weight

They are nothing more than empty promises & illusions

Good day

Sir.John

[teripharaoh]

The minds love

In my mind we’ve had thousand nights of lovemaking many nights of not speaking

some nights of notetaking and wondering why I’m here any emotions flowing through my body arguments slamming into the walls as words fist fight each other ego

in my mind we’ve had many mornings regrets silent treatment awkward conversation around the elephant in the room  too stubborn to open The door and wave the white flag

 in my mind we’ve had many laughter‘s times when you touch me so gentle times when I just can’t say no times when I just need you so close

in my mind Id never leave you I’d ride through the thick of chaos pleasures and dreams with you

in my mind you held me so close I felt your heart dance underneath the skin for me

in my mind you looked at me with such fire that burned to the touch as you handled my body so fragile it would burst into 1000 Suns at the slightest stroke

in my mind my legs would shake My back would arch voice with shriek my hands would caress

In my mind I would’ve had you for 1 million years I would’ve had your time countless I would’ve had your body effortlessly craving your attention without fault I would’ve devoured your love with hunger & challenged your anger with fierce i would’ve melted under your touch I would’ve been caged you around my leg as your need stripped me whole 

In my mind we would’ve had a strange love affair and then my eyes open and I realized you were never there just countless times how I loved fought fucked you deep in my mind

[teripharaoh]

To the man I’ve yet to love

To the man I've yet to meet and love I miss you The world can be a isolating place and I often wish we by Chance be in the same space right moment and love just happens so I'll have my own safe place that's more than protected by my own defense that the hug I receive is more than just the heavy blanket that cuddles me to bed & the support I feel is more than my own ambition but of one with admiration & respect to the man I’ve yet to love

[teripharaoh]

You said

sed you big meech but u April fools sed u dropping body but ain't shyte made the news sed u wrapping bricks like everyday but when it's time to lay yo head down u got no pillow to lay say it with you chest Twitter fleet say always beefn with niggas but scared when it's time to eat

[teripharaoh]

More than friends less than lovers

[teripharaoh]

Did we

Did you save the pictures I sent you or was it a slight glance in your wake of many and my efforts didn't make the cut

Was there ever moment you wanted to freeze time so the memory could replay like your favorite song that tugs a smile to your lips

Was there evidence of my presence that lingered on the sheets & settled into the skin with a fragrance that made you crave it again

[teripharaoh]

Hear me

I never sleep cuz I hate waking up sweaty & screaming thats me at war with my all demons I got these bags under my eyes & my eye on the money dnt ask me to hold something cus I’m gone look at you funny

Did you hear me calling did you fix my problems did you heal my pain did you help me stop it I needed someone to talk too any body just to listen I had that tool in my hand & I was full of that conviction my anxiety feeding into all of my depression real badly I thought maybe less of me was probably better for the family

Then a sound in my head like a gun it went off

Said not everybody in your corner but don’t take it as a loss get back on my bullshit ain’t no such thing as you quitting put heat on em make it bleed on em ain’t no standing up we gone lean on em till it’s off my chest i need that outta body experience before I can rest

Did you hear me calling did you fix my problems did you heal my pain did you help me stop it ain’t no more reaching out & asking how I been so fuck you & fuck them ain’t nun of y’all prove to be friends whn I was stuck n the dirt wouldn’t even leaned a nigga a shovel crazy how the people who claim to love you be the first to pray for your struggle

[teripharaoh]

I was only a chapter in your book of love stories to be told

And you were……..

The library to mine a love story of endless pages I often read

[teripharaoh]

[teripharaoh]

Falling start

I hope the trauma you’ve endured releases you from its grasp

I hope the heartache you’ve felt melts like ice under the Sun rays of your growth

I hope for the loneliness clinging to you like lint on your favorite top washing away

And if all my hope fall on deaf ears tomorrow I want you to become stronger I want you to fight relentlessly for your freedom of depression

I want you to go to war for your peace

I need to see the fire in you soul as you heal the missing pieces of what was & whats to come

[teripharaoh]

My Tower Will Not Fall

You are so fucking selfish

You don’t want me

But you can’t let anyone else have me

You don’t love me

But it is unthinkable that somebody else could fucking love me back

You won’t give me what I need no you can’t give me what need

And it is beyond your comprehension that there is someone out there right now going to the end of the fuckn earth to give everything my mind,body my soul my sprite craves

And after everything Ive been drowned , drag & trampled through with you I am justified in being tired I deserve happiness I knew I was never gonna get it till I believe it

An now I do …… & I will not let you back in to destroy what I’ve built in me

GO HOME

[teripharaoh]

[teripharaoh]

You’ve been missed

Can you imagine fucking with your mouth and making love with your hands in the shower uncontrollable, thirsty, rushed slow, like watching it in slow motion, playing images in my head over again, getting that sensation tickles down into your best parts whether that be mental emotional or something more deviant

Being so exposed him cradled in the nest of my womanhood, creating the messiest meal and having a swim in my best fountain, I think his eagerness gave me comfortability I felt wanted felt needed felt lusted, after most of all felt taken care of

What he was demanding from my body I felt obliged to give with no questions, asked It gave me incentive to be on my worst. Best behavior.

Thrilled to have a man hungry enough to please you it felt consuming & powerful like in this spell, where I could have him do anything I wanted, and he would without hesitation,

That’s the kind of sex that will always be missed

[teripharaoh]

We all have that one somebody

That sits in the back of our minds

Where we’re all curious to know

what it feels like to be loved by them

And what it would feel like to love them back

[teripharaoh]

“You must write, and read, as if your life depends on it.”

— Adrienne Rich

[teripharaoh]

He really hoped you’d stay heartbroken

So he could convince himself you still cared

[teripharaoh]

I’m just saying

I find it funny how you played with me till I came to be who I ain’t wanna be

let’s just be honest

N u claim to be what I really need but I can’t feel nothing

Don’t put the blame on me I’m just a product of how you loved me

now my heart is numb I can’t even feel myself when I’m falling

Im just sayin

girl you really put me through something

how you played with me turned me into somebody I anit wanna

now you wanna give me your love back but babe

I’m just saying

i should be honest I can’t feel nothing