#terijanelle

[teripharaoh]

I was only a chapter in your book of love stories to be told

And you were……..

The library to mine a love story of endless pages I often read

[teripharaoh]

I wish you were a little more broken

So I’d be the reason your fixed now

Wish I was a little more put together

So I wouldn’t feel like I only count when I’m needed

[teripharaoh]

Falling start

I hope the trauma you’ve endured releases you from its grasp

I hope the heartache you’ve felt melts like ice under the Sun rays of your growth

I hope for the loneliness clinging to you like lint on your favorite top washing away

And if all my hope fall on deaf ears tomorrow I want you to become stronger I want you to fight relentlessly for your freedom of depression

I want you to go to war for your peace

I need to see the fire in you soul as you heal the missing pieces of what was & whats to come

[teripharaoh]

Save a prayer for me

I usually stay up wide awake at night cuz I can’t sleep tunnel vision of the life I live & the ones who scream rules of street NIGGA keep your heart solid don’t you ever let ‘em think you soft

stay hungry young nigga eat up or get knocked off & too much ambition too quickly is how you take a loss

Save a prayer for me

Save a prayer for me please

pick your weight up & weight up & don’t wait up that’s how you fall behind cuz it’s always another lil nigga who think he hungrier than you but this spot is mine

Save a prayer for me please

Save a prayer for me

I aint been living right

I don’t sleep at night I got them night sweats and burden on my chest my mother raised a gangster the street light was my cradle now I’m wishing for forgiveness on my soul but I Dnt know if my prayers alone can save it

Save a prayer for me please

Lately I been wonder what’s down the street My feet been on the corner so long but this how I eat mama showed me the game experience made me grab that blick faulty courage made em try me & fear was like a father who told how to click

You was a dead nigga tryna playing grave digger this ain’t the movies I dnt freeze when I pull it triggers

Save a prayer for me please

Save a prayer for me

I aint been living right

I don’t sleep at night I got them night sweats and burden on my chest my mother raised a gangster the street light was my cradle now I’m wishing for forgiveness on my soul but I Dnt know if my prayers alone can save it

Save a prayer for me please

IF I can kick the habit of being reckless & so savage then maybe karma won’t try to buck me frenemies act like they really love me all the while lookn for a way to take it all from me the streets being on my mind but I don’t wanna leaving my mind on the street the same corner that once kept me feed shackles me with fear that it won’t let me leave

Save a prayer for me please

I ain’t been living right

So I don’t sleep at night

I got them night sweats &

a burden in my chest

Street life raised a gangster

Street lights was my cradle

But I been wishing for redemption on my soul

But I don’t think my prayers alone can save it

Save a prayer for me please

If I move my feet a little & make it down the street maybe there’s some hope for me

Or just relief either way

save a prayer for me please

[teripharaoh]

Stop Me

He walked into the room and for some reason I felt like my breath is at a red light I felt like all the doors around me were sealed tight

Get the fuck out of here

He laughed ask me to stop

it seemed as if I was locked inside of a jar waiting for slow sleep to take me and then he touched me

Just go away

let me know when to stop

You need to leave I said as he continued to Slide a hand down the nap of my neck wrapping it into my the back of my head & tangled into my locs

Get off of me

He said tell me to stop

I watched the hunger in his eyes that devoured my will his lips burned my mouth like a fine liquor the taste of Addiction & forbidding sliding off his tongue numbing my senses to the alarm and ringing in my body begging for a end

Please leave I whined

Tell me to stop

I Choked on the words that wanted to but won’t escape. Close my eyes begin to blur with the high that wet my cheeks

Stop doing this to me

Make me stop

The closure I felt I had my undoing unravels and his tongue travels down the curves of my breast

The way he grips me my heart clenching between my thighs as my insides began to shatter

Why wouldn’t you just leave me be

I won’t stop till you tell me too

[teripharaoh]

I hope you learn that everything I write isn’t influenced by you…

So stop asking if I’m alright

I don’t need to make you feel guilty

You do that yourself every time you read my notes & think … maybe I did that …….

Or maybe I didn’t do that enough…..

[teripharaoh]

She doesn���t look like me

I’m not sure why my mind is wrapped around the thoughts of you Reasons trailing down the front of my panties Wetness coating my skin with night sweats

I think I know when your around my body Alarms ringing heat waves to hate you & have you at once my focus not to peer into the nothingness of your dark orbs that Mock my movements or the sly smirk of an overachiever know it all that pisses me off

I wanna mush you & get slammed into the wall by the weight of you body at once

the toxic smell of lust & dreaming mixed in the air

it’s an infatuation urging my ego to take what it wants if it’s meant to be then it will & if it’s not I’m prepared too take it anyway & learn my hash lesson of playing with my own emotions later

It’s not even love I’m after just a strong need to tame a untamable beast to make sense of a mystery to find out his secrets & take notes with my body

Then I see it this little light flicker with images of embracing & pillow talks dream walks & hold me just to hold me Bonnie & Clyde bonds shacked to the wrist

was that love?

But then there she is smiling in your face & you show a kindness I’ll never see

you share a laughter I’ll never hear

you share a kiss I’ll never feel

you share a bed I’ll never have

I wonder is it because she didn’t look like me?

[teripharaoh]

Breaking Focus

She stared at the white screen words painting confusion and ideals (scroll click click type) (click)Tingles in my hand started to react fuzziness somehow creeped along her back I feel you watching me with a quick glance up eyes magnetic I feel you’re storm flowing within you two rooms away(scroll click space) my ears poking out to the sounds of wrestling moving from another room getting closer to the frame of the door you shadow me with no words just observation which spoke louder it ringing in my ear and the hesitation to look at you once more

making its way around me no commentary hearing the weight of my bed sink in as my stomach follow suit(type type enter)

Curiosity eating its way into the center of my brain stealing images of you over my shoulder your eyes closed hands resting behind your head as if on cue you sense my distraction & open your mouth to say pay attention

Setting me to reread the same sentence I’ve read the last five minutes my mind not comprehending the words I’m drinking I continue to refilling my cup

And I feel the same uneasiness you hovering just above my head arms caging me his breath landing whispers just below my ear and around my throat (type scroll) I am flabbergasted your finger tips trace the outlines of my lips I begin to speak he says you should be writing his hands cling to the skin of my thighs like pants so I feel the feather touch as he begins to play gymnastics between the folds of my lady The tips of my toes performing at Nutcracker and I the leading lady (Scroll delete) attempting to fill the lines of my paper as he feels the lines of my passion with need (delete delete delete)

Replacing my seat with his lap are you finished he asked… me looking at the empty blank screen that ironically spelled Fantasy for this was just a womans dream around the forms of his hands that never left the paper or the mind of the the writer (ENTER & SEND)

[teripharaoh]

Somethings

Kinda wish it was worth it for a while

some things burn the brightest & die the quickest

Some moments make you feel everything & nothing all at once

Something are worth the wait even if it’s just for a while

-Teripharaoh

[teripharaoh]

Sounds of a broken mirror

Sometimes I wonder why we’re here maybe it’s because I’m delusional and you’re insane why am I a magnet for destruction and you’re a fixer-upper why do I attract everything bad you want to be the hero

Sometimes I feel like The universe is playing a cruel joke on me maybe the sound of my heart breaking is it’s favorite lullaby because it’s always on constant repeat

I could even be the Lois lane to your Superman cuz I’d cause you far more pain then any rock would ever

[teripharaoh]

I need that arm to hold me still while I’m cumming on your dick

I need those arms to sooth my shaker body as electricity springs from my caves

I need those hands to cradle my head as if floats on my high of you

[teripharaoh]

My pen

My pen has morning orgasms & nightly links oh my pen is a soft moaner & even louder freak that’s how these words were create a daily

My pen was a quick nutter when inspired and if you thought Ink was low give it a little shake watch your face this pen was A squirter 

Juices flowing from tip my pen is a slut One sheet of paper isn’t enough it’s signs off on anything I spread across every line Handel me & grip I am your favorite trip 

My pen was the bust down you ain’t gotta seduce me to get me wetter my pen was always green light on go slide me a sheet & it was whenever 

My pen is a disrespectful bitch building you up like its Play-dou knocking you down like it’s Legos you may have to see the movie

my pen was forever mood this bitch always stay groovy always with the shits quick to correct a nigga & educated his bitch 

This pen was a line leader it’s going to let you know your place this pen was a love maker have you feeling special an it ain’t even took you on a date my pen was gonna touch bases in your heart ain’t even know who is empty  my pen was a thief in the night slide down your chimney

My pen was a housekeeper for your mental sweeping up your insecurities  my pen is the best friend you could lean on my shoulder and tell me your stories and I promise to be your warrior my pen was the jeweler giving you your crown my pen was your fucking mama and if you was outta line I layed yo little ass down

My pen was the fucking rioter shout my injustice shouting my frustrations exposing my depression out in my tears standing tall words written down about my fears

My pen was The psychic scribbling out my love language and how this mental needs to be touched how my spirit longs to be fucked and how this body needs to be felt and how these emotions needs to be held my pen is overwhelming

My pen is loud and silly my pen anxious my & obnoxious ny pen is obsessive & anti-social

My pen is narcissistic my pen is sympathetic my pen is a sarcastic asshole Who knows no boundaries my pen is proud my pen is depressed my pen is the rule maker the law breaker

My pen is love & sometimes its angry

My pen is overjoyed

Because today somebody heard my pen

[teripharaoh]

Unfortunate flames

I don't think you understood this kind of tragedy screams escape my mouth in silent pause I wanted to crawl inside myself & hide in these walls but words will penetrate me like missiles in the sky My eyes painted red with no more tears to cry Feels like the weight of depression lays on my shoulders I try to push her off me but she just wants somebody to hold her I roll out of bed and trip over bipolar This close to losing my shit I push him in the closet & say we can hash this out later we had a verbal argument but he made me sign the paper I'd get dressed & sit in the mirror for hours painting my face all right take a pic just to go wash it off in the shower My lifes on auto repeat There's nothing special about it Only seems interesting when I'm talking about people that don't exist but between the pages of of my scripts the cracks in my mind the folder on my computer the pen and the line I don't have a romantic life shid unless you call a once every few months screw he comes over & only loves my body and I'm good for one month maybe two But I never complain because I'm more worried that I'll never be right it's unlikely that someone looking at me and see the light right So I rather wake up to wide windows facing the sea I wanna smell the wet cold air in the middle of the winter watch the leafs fall in the autumn rain Or drive out of the city and see the stars torch the night But as of right now I'm asking depression am I holding her tight as she weighs down on my spirit she snuggles me up I know what she likes Right now I'm in a physical argument with bipolar I've kicked the book shelves down and flipped the sofa I tore all my art off the walls and decorated my floors with shirt pants and drawers Because the outside world has push me to my edge when I've had enough of enough of misfortunate event I broke down and cried when my eyes are never wet when my heart is never rage this space was my forest & I was the flame

[teripharaoh]

I'd never lie to you she lied

[teripharaoh]

6:09am of you called me right now and said come over I'd cum for you just to slip back into my sweat and lay in my own bed like nothing ever happened with traces of you gripping my mind

[teripharaoh]

Letters to the moon but he never answers he just comes back every night to hear my secrets and run away with them or maybe he laughs about them with the sun and that's why she watches me so brightly