#why is she controlling everything about this character when there's like 5 other people who own him too

[sufferu]

Your fantastic writing skills gave me angst I demand compensation. Lol. You gave me a lot to think about and I have to say, in my nearly 9 years of being an avid fanfic reader. A writer never made me THIS invested.

After being abandoned by everyone, do you think subaru will go to Priscilla? She was the only one who saw his side.

I have to say tho I get Subaru's side more. He can't control RBD. If anyone had the power to bring back loved ones they would. I'm sure Ferris wouldn't hesitate to save crush. I think everybody is so upset that they tunnel visioned and didn't do right by him. Everything is outside of his control. He doesn't choose to come back. But he is, so he tries to save more people everytime.

Subaru obviously has issues. And I don't like the way the re zero narrative punishes him for using RBD. Meanwhile, Al is over here spaming reset with no consequences.

The world hates Subaru and the rest of the cast blame him. He is trying harder then ANYONE to LIVE, but they call him a suicidal monster.

I’m so glad that you’re enjoying my fic! That is some high praise right there, lol: I do hope to meet those expectations going forward ;)

Though I will say…I am approaching this from a slightly different angle. For starters — this will be a lot clearer in the actual chapter than it was in this ficlet, but Arc 5 does not go the same way it does in canon, hence how Subaru managed to save EVERYONE and capture/kill literally every attacking Archbishop in Priestella. This is the main reason why everyone is so angry and devastated. If it were canon Arc 5, things might have gone differently. …Then again, Arc 8 DOES exist. So maybe we would have ended up in this situation someday regardless.

But also…well.

Return By Death isn’t JUST a powerful ability that Subaru has access to: it is the epitome of weaponized self-destruction, in which he can literally sacrifice himself over and over again for the sake of those around him whether they like it or not. He is fully capable of taking all their pain on himself, of placing himself in unimaginably horrible situations on other people’s behalf, and doing it for…maybe even all of eternity, depending on how things go. If you’ve ever read The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas by Ursula K Le Guin — Subaru has the potential to basically become That for the entirety of Lugunica. And even worse: if he’s employed as a knight, it is arguably his sworn duty to do exactly that, because a knight is a profession in which one lays down their life for the people they want to protect. What does that turn into when the knight can do that again and again, indefinitely?

The cast of Re:Zero shows every sign that they would absolutely fucking hate the idea of being reliant on something that disgusting. Julius sacrifices his reputation to try and keep Subaru alive, Tivey and Hetaro declare that throwing away one’s life for a cause is a fucking joke, Ferris has this whole thing about valuing life to the point where just a hint of Subaru being suicidal sends him into an actual nervous breakdown, Vincent is raked through the coals for his attempt to sacrifice himself for his country just that one time by both the narrative and the people around him, Arc 4 exists — there’s A Lot that points to most of these characters finding the idea of this cycle of repeated sacrifice bring just AWFUL, and even to the idea that they’d actively take offense to someone attempting to do such a thing on their behalf.

There is one exception to this rule, however, and that is Priscilla Barielle — who actively praises subjects that sacrifice themselves for her, who forces Aldebaran to reset whenever he does something she doesn’t like, who praised Subaru as a brilliant knight when he was (narratively speaking) at his very worst, who symbolizes the mechanisms of fate itself, who’s final moment involved her sacrificing herself for her homeland, and who is in every way the pinnacle of the Sword Wolf that Vollachia praises as the ideal subject (VOLLACHIA, mind you, which is a nation that has the whole Muspel contract going on). Priscilla is an actual monster, an awful personality, and the antithesis of the themes of Re:Zero. So her siding with Subaru in this instance is — completely in character, but it’s one of the most damning things I feel I could have done.

(I am glad that someone was able to actually connect with her though — was afraid that I made her too cartoonishly evil lmao)

As for what’s happening to Subaru now…well, you’re right about the end of that duel being the rock bottom of his character’s state in this fic. But — just because he was fired from his post doesn’t mean he’s being ABANDONED. They can’t afford to abandon a time traveler to be left to his own devices, first of all. But also, even in they’re all Very Angry with him right now…all these people still love him an awful lot. There’s a reason Wilhelm decided to duel him for the position and take the blame for his removal all upon himself, instead of doing something that would leave Subaru more at the mercy of public opinion. And there’s a reason Crusch’s idea of “suicide watch” was basically, “Hey, Wilhelm, do you want a new grandchild?” instead of something like “Let’s imprison him in the catacombs of the Kingdom.” They DO care about him. That’s the problem.

[buggitino]

more headcanons about sebastian solace from the hit game pressure roblox

back on my bullshit and i promise i only talk about The Situation a little bit

☆ his third arm is more sensitive than the other two (i'm thinking that either the USHD doctors fucked something up during the operation OR it grew in wrong, nerve endings closer to the epidermis and whatnot, something like that)

☆ just hates being touched in general, he’d rather initiate that contact (need an update where he gently —> not very gently shakes expendables off (depending on whether and how much they’ve annoyed/flashbanged him) when they climb him) ☆☆ part of this is due to trauma, he cant trust anyone to touch him without hurting him ☆☆ the other part is that he’s got that fucking dawg in him (i’ll get to this in a second)

☆ unlike what his new voice lines are starting to suggest about his character (i’m not gonna talk about zerum again because i think everyone knows what's happening at this point and ive already thrown in my two cents) he does NOT hate the expendables. literally his first line upon meeting him in his shop has him calling himself your friend (as strained of a connection as it may be, he could very easily not offer items, not share documentation/info, and just take the expendables data and hoard anything he picks up to make it harder for them to get to the crystal) (like yes, it's a mutually beneficial relationship but if sebastian didn't care about or sympathize with the expendables to some extent, it wouldn't be). i really do think he just has a short fuse (i'm not going to bring up trauma again, however-) and says things he doesn't mean (e.g. “they deserved it. and frankly so do the rest of you.” (im coping with the mischaracterization of these new lines leave me alone)) as a means of protecting himself and pushing the expendables further away (both physically and emotionally)

☆ he’ll act like a brat once they’re done, but he lets younger expendables sleep in his shop (he cares about them but would never in a million years let them know that) ☆☆ if a younger one comes in with a bunch of adult expendables, he’ll treat them all the same but will secretly slip the younger one some extra batteries, gauze, something unnoticeable (he feels especially responsible for the younger male expendables cause they remind him of his little brother)

☆ sometimes he thinks he can hear his family's voices on the radio, just under all the static, calling out for him like a search party would. he used to cry over this but he almost got caught once by an expendable coming into the shop so he does his best to tune it out. it’s hard. guilt pulls at his stomach every time he hears a clip of his family, begging for him to come home, to respond, something, anything, and he ignores it.

☆ autism (cause i said so) - i'm including this one for the sole reason that he does the dinosaur thing with his third arm and generally keeps his hands clasped together in the secret dinosaur position (he just like me fr) ☆☆ hates bright lights (the only light he uses/allows in his shop is the one he emits) (its a very soft/warm hue as opposed to the bright fluorescents throughout the rest of the facility) (not to bring up the flash beacon, obviously nobody likes getting flashbanged and he's got angler eyes but sTILL)

☆ he used to hate eating fish (pre-op) and now he’s pissed cause it’s all he has available and the DNA changes made it so fish is the yummiest tastiest thing in the world (i like imagining him actively fighting the urge to eat whatever fish he’s cooked in one bite cause he refuses to acknowledge that he's changed on a level that isn't physical/appearance-based)

☆ calls grown adults “kiddo” (even the ones that are older than him) ☆☆ he gets a certain kind of joy from seeing the 40/50/60 year old expendables try to figure out just how old he is after they get called “kiddo”. it’s extra fun for him when they’ve clearly already heard the rumors and/or gotten a glimpse of his file

☆ the ring is just an accessory, a bracelet on the floor or in a locker he found and liked. assumed nobody was gonna claim it and kept it (shoutout to @/lotus.eaterr on tik tok for this one!!!!)

[thesirencult]

Your Shadow. Messages from the darkest part of your soul.

a reading by @thesirencult

Sidenote: Personal readings are now open! One question for $11.

Pile 1

4 Of Cups, 5 Of Cups, Justice

You are not that familiar with your shadow, on the other hand, she knows everything about you. She knows how you get pessimistic at times and doubt your own power and God's ability to create a powerful being, you. She knows that you refuse to try hard enough and then blame the law of attraction and all those bloggers and tarot readers for filling your head up with positive bullsh*t. She also knows that you don't want to know her. You cry over spilt milk and the same old stories, never looking around to see that the world has changed and evolved, yet, you refuse to change.

I want you to remember this: Thoughts=Perception=Vision=Action. Your thoughts create a web, behind which you look at the world and that becomes your vision. According to your perception and vision for the future you take action. If your perception is fragmented and your thoughts troubled, then the vision will be blurred and you won't take action or the action you will be taking could further harm you. Doubting that you can transmute negativity to positivity will keep you stuck and it does you no justice. It offends your shadow, how could you think that you are weak when you have such a powerful shadow. Our shadow is analogous to our potential light.

I know that you're feeling jaded. At times you think "Why am I even trying?" Your shadow is the part of you that feels overlooked by the Universe and by Fate. Life has been unjust to you. At the same time, you are well equipped as the Higher Forces wouldn't be sending you all those challenges if you didn't have all the skills and the strength to sail through the rough seas. Don't take for granted your abilities, it's like taking for granted absolute gold. Stop being passive and not taking action then being sad you never see results. Stop sticking with something long enough to see the first waves crushing your spirit and then bailing out, hurting your self esteem and reinforcing the idea that you'll never make it through, thus satisfying your ego! Sweetness, how could you make it through if you don't try to ride the waves?

Facing regret and coming to terms with the fact that what is lost is lost will help you. Taking responsibility for your actions and doing the best you can with what you have will also build your character and show you how capable you are at withstanding storms. Cause and effect is everywhere in the Universe, we can not expect to avoid it, we can only hope that we learn how to work with the energies to make the most out of it.

Pile 2

Queen Of Pentacles, 8 Of Cups, The Tower

Aha! I caught you sneaky little shadow! Be honest Pile 2, how much fun are you having with your Shadow, because you guys are basically eachother's soulmates. You are one of those rare people who have no issues with their shadow. It has made her sympathize with you and actually side with you. At times you let her consume you and that can scare you.

Your shadow, is beautiful. It thrives in chaos and unpredictability. There are times that those cracks in your personal matrix let you see something brighter than what you thought was behind the curtain. It scares you that even though you are tired of shifting and surviving through crises, at the same time you crave the beauty of the deconstruction. You like the pandemonium and the darkness. You like it when your shadow takes the wheel and lets you sit back and relax while enjoying the embers of the wildfire. These type of events let you display your creative potential.

Your shadowy side is the one who craves control and abundance. Wealth and status, while at the same time despises order and surface level interactions. She doesn't like to kiss up to anyone. She is independent and powerful. She doesn't care what others say. She wants to help you see that these parts can be intergrated with your lighter side to make you unstoppable.

Inner voices, echoing your parental figures' limiting beliefs stop you from reaching your true potential. Your shadow feels rage. She wants to burn everything to the ground and rebuilt it again. She wants to be independent cause, duh! there is no one to rely on. You are the parentified child, aren't you? The one stuck in survival, never feeling quite at home, yet craving safety, no, desperately needing safety and hanging on to what's left off from the fire. This is your soul, a master at thriving through chaos destined to crave stability.

Something else I'm seeing is that you think taht you don't deserve to rise up and hold a certain status or position socially or professionally. You say "This is not meant for someone like me." You rush through interactions and the pleasures of life. Never stopping to smell the flowers and regulate your nervous system and root chakra. A warm and charitable soul, made to feel not enough and made to think that they have to enable others' ugly behaviour to be accepted, that they have to mother everyone and excuse all offending words, because "hurt people hurt people, but I'm not hurting, I'm strong enough!"

Strength doesn't have to equal suffering. You don't have to suffer to prove how strong you are. You need to realize that what will help you evolve is to invest in your own self and take a chance to spoil the little kid inside of you.

Self imposed fears are blocking your momentum. You tend to avoid anyone who shows they appreciate you and shed light to your brilliance, while at the same time you hang around those who reinforce the belief you are not enough. You have the potential to be am abundant person in all aspects, don't le your potential fo to waste.

At this moment, you are more empowered than ever before. You deserve much more than what you've been settling for. Your shadow trait is that you want to feel appreciated, seen and spoiled by someone and that's more than okay! You are able to transmute weakness into power. Realize that wanting love is not a weakness, it's a strangth. We live in a world where it's considered a weakness to crave partnership and appreciation. We shame the need for external validation, yet your safety cushion it's just that: your internal validation system is "broken", as you are a high achiever with big goals and objectively better at reaching those heights than others, yet you are less satisfied by your results. This enables you to work more on yourself, your shadow and towards your desires but at the same time you are your own harshest critic. This goes against many self-help books you will come across but, please, focus on how others see you, especially those that shower you with compliments, as they see the real you and your brilliance, while you only see the shadow!

Another thing that you do is that your prefered method of escapism is that you take more time than it is necessary to reach goals, work on yourself or isolate, thinking that you have not done enough and you do not trust yourself and your brilliance. This happens because you are prone to falling for a cognitive bias something similar to the "anchoring effect": you rely too heavily on the first piece of information, in your case feedback, you have received. You have anchored yourself to old stories and you make subsequent jidgements and decisions based on those first experiences. This is a slippery slope and it also leads me to a form of moral disengagement you might have notice din yourself. You let yourself dissolve your boundaries more and more when it comes to others and you let your negative thoughts and self-image influence more and more your decisions through this negative loop.

Give yourself some grace. I want to help you open a positive loop, so I will leave you with this: You deserve love, beauty, nice things and walks with your soulmate at sunset. You deserve the last piece of cake and the first spoonful of ice-cream. You deserve kisses in the rain and smiling until your cheeks hurt by the fire with the love of your life. Cheers to a new era, where you don't let old stories dictate your future.

[scarlethexelove]

can you please write Y/N and Wanda also Natasha is not dead here (up to you thooooo) , and Y/N pretty much replaced Vision. But before these events Natasha has always been there for Wanda, (after Endgame) so she didn’t make a hex but still griefed about Y/N and Wanda making a big move for Y/N’s reincarnation but in a good way. After Y/N being back from the dead. She learns that her soon to be wife has already fallen for Natasha and her reincarnation just meant nothing and Y/N didn’t go on with her life and ended it just there.

Wands regretted everything until she lost herself and made a big mess with the universe (pretty much MoM) and overall Wanda regretting everything, and when she gets us back (it can be Wanda taking another one of us in an another universe) or her just making us alive from the dead *this all can be up to you author*

I love your stories 🖤

I'm Sorry

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Word Count: 3590

Warnings: Cheating (Allusions to it but really it is there), Angst, Major character death, Mentions of Murdering innocent people, Angry Wanda, Suicide by others, Not really a happy ending, tiny bit of fluff like very little.

A/n: This one was fun. I hope I did it justice. I may have changed a little bit of it but I hope you still like it.

NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN

Everything hurts. You have a splitting headache and it feels like you got run over by a MACK truck. Your face scrunches up in pain, the lights too bright even with your eyes closed. Sensory overload has you curling in on yourself. Hands come up to clamp on your ears when you hear a voice, but it’s so loud and muffled that you don’t even know who is talking to you. All you want is for all of it to stop. You had been an experiment but that experience doesn’t compare to what you are feeling right now. 

“Nat turn the lights off.” Wanda orders the older woman in the room. Nat flicks the light off as she watches Wanda brush some hairs back. You let out a whimper at the contact. It breaks her heart seeing you like this. When her hand brushes against your skin she can feel you. She feels your pain. Red whisps leave her fingers slowly seeping into your skin. Soon enough the pain starts to dissipate. 

Wanda crawls in the bed behind you wrapping herself around your frame. You feel a body pressed against yours and you immediately know who it is. “Wanda.” You whisper. You turn around in her hold and nuzzle into her neck. “I’m here sweetheart.” Wanda combs her fingers through your hair. You're so tired and she feels like home. You fight to stay awake but her ministrations have your eyes closing. “It’s ok detka get some rest.” Wanda whispers and kisses the top of your head. You finally let yourself drift off to sleep. 

A little over 5 years ago the team was fighting Thanos. Your powers let you see brief points into the future. You saw that if you died that Wanda would be safe. Thanos needed you gone to get what he wants but you also saw that in the end the Avengers would win. The event that sets that in motion was your death. So as much as it pained you you let it happen. To save Wanda, to save the world. Wanda could move on but the fate of the universe was in your hands. 

“Wanda.” Nat says softly from the corner of the room. She looks at you curled into Wanda’s arms. A sight she had hoped to never see again. “Natty, she needs this.” Wanda says softly, still stroking your hair as you sleep. Nat just nods. It hurts but she knows it is something that Wanda had to do. 

Your mind races. Your dreams are of your last memories. The fight with Thanos and how you let him kill you just in order to save everyone else. Your body shoots straight up as your chest heaves from the memories. You feel a hand rubbing up and down your back but you haven’t quite gained control. You mind questioning how you are here. Why are you alive? You should be dead. That was all your mind could see and you had accepted that fact but here you are. Tears stream down your face. “Why?” You're not sure what you are asking, who you are asking the question of. You feel so small. “Why what detka?” Wanda asks you with concern on her face. “Why am I here? I should be dead.” Your voice breaks and Wanda’s heart hurts seeing you like this. 

Wanda starts explaining everything that had happened while you were gone. Excluding some details. They had worked tirelessly to bring back those that were snapped away. Wanda and Nat become the de facto leaders of the Avengers. It took 5 years but they finally did. Once that was done they set out to bring you back. It took some time but somehow when Bruce had snapped his fingers he was able to bring you back. But somehow you ended up in a pocket universe in a deep sleep. They were finally able to get you back safely. All the information flooding into your mind is a lot to handle but eventually you understand. Somehow the universe had different plans for you. 

It’s been a few months since you came back. Most things are the same but something seems off. Wanda hasn’t been as loving towards you. Before she was always so touchy and wanting nothing more than to crawl under the sheets cuddling while watching some sitcoms. But now she barely even gives you a hug. Sleeping in the same bed has you feeling like she isn’t even there. She is a million miles away even if she is only right beside you. Your heart hurts not understanding, is she still mad at you for letting Thanos kill you. Anytime you try to talk to her she just brushes you off and says nothing is wrong. So you're left alone to your thoughts and worries.

Nat had moved into your shared home while you were away. The two women grew closer at the loss of so many others. You want to be angry and jealous that Nat gets more attention than you but you still trust Wanda hoping that she will come around eventually. 

You’re walking towards the kitchen when you can hear a hushed discussion between Wanda and Nat. You stop just shy of the door frame listening in when you hear your name mentioned. “Wanda you need to tell Y/n.” Nat says her body leaning on the counter and arms crossed against her chest. “Tell her what Nat?” Wanda counters. She sits at the table with a sad look adorning her face. “You know what Wands.” Wanda lets out a sigh. “I can’t do that to her Nat.” Wanda’s voice is low. “You can’t keep lying to her. You can’t keep lying to me. I love you Wanda.” There is a pause in the conversation before Wanda speaks up. “I love you too.” Your heart drops the moment the words spill from Wanda’s mouth. 

You’re quick to turn on your heels as the tears start to stream down your face. Holding in a sob as it all makes sense now. In your absence the two had fallen in love. You’ve somehow become the other woman in Wanda’s life. You don’t know how you didn’t see this coming. Your powers should have felt this but they hadn’t and now you’re left heartbroken. You push into your shared room focusing on pulling yourself back together. You can’t let them know that you know until you figure out what to do. 

The buzzing of your phone pulls you out of your despair for the moment. You see Fury’s name flash on the screen. You quickly wipe your tears and answer the phone. “Sir.” You say masking the waver in your voice. “Y/l/n I have a mission for you. Since you have been cleared for duty I would like you to head out tonight with Barton and Barnes. I have sent over the reports for you to go over. Good luck out there and glad to have you back.” The phone line goes dead as the man hangs up the phone. You open the report sent to your phone. You now see the flashes in your mind of how the mission will go. And that is where you see it. What you’re going to do. 

That night you enter the Quinjet greeted by the two men. Hugs and joy at your return. Your powers are always a significant help to missions. You three go over the plans for the mission. You lay out what you had seen in your vision, excluding one crucial part that the men don’t need to know. You know if they did they would try and stop you. But your heart aches and you put on a fake smile so that no one would expect a thing. 

Everything was set to go. A long message meant to play for Wanda after it was already too late. This would be your last mission. Wanda and Nat would have all that they could ever want. You wouldn’t be the burden that you know you are. They should have just left you dead if they were going to do this to you. So you made that decision for them. You weren’t going to come back from this mission alive. 

The mission was going perfectly. Playing out exactly as you had seen it. Bucky and Clint were together and far away from you. You snuck into the building off the side. It held some hostages that had been taken by Hydra. You snuck in taking out every agent that you passed. It didn’t take long for you to make it to the hostages. You were able to release them from their binds and get them out of the building safely. But you knew it wasn’t over yet. Bucky and Clint were waiting exactly where you told them too. Having each hostage run towards them for safety while you stood with your back towards the open area. 

You waited knowing what was to come soon. You could change the outcome but you didn’t want to. You didn’t want to be in a world where Wanda loved someone else. You waited with bated breath as the last hostage ran towards your teammates. You exhale the air in your lungs before a sharp pain in your stomach is felt. You grit your teeth turning around firing off a few rounds, but you're hit with another round to the shoulder. You can hear the muffled sounds of Bucky and Clint calling out for you but you push through. Another shot to the leg sends you kneeling on the ground. You push through the pain as you stand. A few steps forward as you unload your mag into the man. Another man appears with his finger on the trigger of his gun. You watch as an arrow sores through the air and hits the man directly in the chest. His finger squeezes the trigger as he falls. You’re hit with the array of bullets. Your body sways before falling to your knees then falling to the ground. The ground below you stains red as your body goes cold. 

Wanda felt a change in the universe. She cries out causing Nat to panic next to her. Wanda clutches her chest in pain. She felt this twice before. Once when Pietro died, the second when you died fighting Thanos. She had never wanted to feel that pain again but here she is feeling it. The world stops turning at that moment. Not again she thinks tears streaming down her face. 

The doorbell rings but Wanda doesn’t hear it. Nat tries to console the younger woman pleading for her to tell her what is going on. It continues to ring when no one answers until Nat gets up and finds out what is going on. Wanda sits sobbing on the couch. Nat walks back in with a folded paper with your hand writing on it. Wanda scribbled on the top. 

Wanda sees this snatching the paper from her hands and quickly opening it before reading the words delicately written across the page. 

My dearest Wanda,

You’re reading this because I’m gone. I’m sorry to do this to you

but I can’t live life like this. I know that you no longer love me.

I see the way you look at Natasha and I know she is now

the love of your life. I want you to be happy. I saw this coming

and I could have changed it but who am I to keep you from the 

one you love. Don’t mourn for me, just live your life. You don’t

have to worry about me anymore and you can be happy, that 

is all I have ever wanted for you. But my love I can’t live in

a world where you love someone else. So this is goodbye.

Love,

Y/N

Tears hit the paper blurring the words in front of her. Wanda’s heart shatters into a million pieces. How could this have happened? How could she have thrown away all that you two have? She is absolutely disgusted with herself and with Nat. This isn’t how it was supposed to go but she was blinded and now her eyes are finally open but now it could be too late.

Through the tears Wanda gets up making her way out the door and immediately taking off towards the compound. Her magic lifts her into the sky as she flies as fast as she possibly can to the one place she knows you would be. Praying that maybe it was all wrong, maybe you can be saved. Nat calls out for her as she leaves her alone standing in the yard. 

The ground cracks below Wanda’s feet as she lands hard on the ground. Anger and guilt pumping through her veins as she walks towards the building. Her magic slamming doors open as she makes her way to the med bay. Your body is already lying there. Bucky and Clint talking outside the room. Windows lining the wall as they keep looking back at your body. Wondering what they would tell the angry redhead but they didn’t have to wait too long. They spot Wanda fear and sorrow on their faces. “Wanda we can -” Clint is cut off. “Save it.” 

Wanda makes her way into the room. The boys walked away looking like kicked puppies. Wanda’s breath picks up as she sees your still body encased in a black bag. The top half of it unzipped revealing your pale skin and blood staining your suit. You look so peaceful like you could be sleeping. Wanda cups your cheek, a light jerk of her hand when she feels how cold you are. She lets her magic slip out the ends of her fingers going into your head. Fresh tears streaming down her face. “I can’t feel you.” A sob wracking her body. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry love you never deserved any of this.”

Wanda silently sobs as she sits next to you. Your hand in hers as she just stares blankly at your body. The door clicks open a while later. Wanda doesn’t turn to look. “Go away.” Her voice is hoarse from all the crying but she doesn’t care. “Wands.” Nat whispers. “I said leave.” Wanda’s voice raises as her head snaps towards the door red swirling in her eyes. Nat knows she is just upset so she doesn’t back down. “Detka.” She whispers. “Don’t you dare detka me.” Wanda stands letting your hand drop off the side of the bed. “This is all your fault. She is fucking dead because of you.” Wanda seethes. “Don’t put that blame on me Wanda. You're just as much the problem.” Wanda stalks towards Nat red surrounding her body and slamming her into the window, a crack forming behind her body. “Don’t you fucking dare blame me. It should have been you. You should have died back then. I would still have her. She is more of a woman than you will ever be. I let myself be blinded by you. Blinded by the love you gave but I didn’t love you. I don’t fucking love you.” As hard as Nat can be, Wanda's words cut deep. Tears shine in her eyes as she holds back a sob. Wanda sends Nat’s body flying through walls until she lands outside. Wanda follows as she does so. Releasing Nat’s body which is now battered and bruised. She then flies off into the night. 

It’s been months since anyone has seen Wanda, held up in a small cabin in the middle of nowhere surrounded by mountains. Some have tried but they always get blasted out so they stopped trying. She has been lost to the Avengers and they aren’t sure they could ever get her back. The day they lost you they also lost her. 

Wanda’s black tipped fingers comb through a book. A very dangerous book. The more she searches the darkness in her soul grows and the blacked tips grow. She has tried everything in the book to bring you back to life but none of it works. She had another attempt today, something new, something hopeful but it ends with a magical outburst throwing everything in the cabin. She continues to comb through the pages ignoring the disarray around her. She closes her eyes and lets her magic do the work. It’s not long before she finds something new. She thought she had seen all that this book had to offer. All that the Darkhold had to offer to the Scarlet Witch. 

You are sitting in your living room, two small boys cuddled into each of your sides as you watch a movie. Empty bowls of ice cream sitting on the coffee table that you have your feet propped up on. You laugh as your son Tommy tries to mimic you. You other son Billy giggling along. Tommy huffs and crosses his arms. “Not funny.” He mumbles. You can’t help but ruffle his hair which makes him swat at your hand causing you to chuckle. “One day buddy you will reach it.” You kiss the top of his head. All of you falling back into the silence, the only sound is the movie playing. 

Your mind flashes to a vision of Wanda but not your Wanda standing in the middle of your living room. Her face twisted into something you can’t even imagine in your wildest dreams from the woman you loved. The pain that she has caused to get to this point. As your world comes back to you you are met with a star shaped portal in the middle of your living room. What was once an image in your head now in front of you. 

Wanda’s hand wraps around the young girl's throat in front of you. “What did you do?” She seethes. The two boys next to you are terrified. You quickly stand and tell them to run but Wanda’s head snaps towards you. The couch you were once on is now thrown at the stairs blocking the way. You push your boys behind you in a protective manner. Wanda’s eyes trailing the boys curiously, a small warm spot forming in her heart seeing your protective nature. She didn’t expect to find you with kids but she always wanted a family with you so it can’t hurt. 

“Wanda!” You yell at her. Wanda is startled by the anger in your voice. You have never yelled at her like that. “Let the girl go.” You demand of her. Her hand slips from the girl's neck as she coughs on the ground holding her throat. Wanda starts stalking towards you but you back up with your boys behind you. 

Billy tugs on your shirt a little trying to get your attention and you quickly look back at him. “Is that Mama?” His voice sounds so small. Your attention quickly turns back to the woman in front of you who has stopped. You can see tears in her eyes at Billy’s words. “That is not your Mama.” You shake your head. You can see the hurt on Wanda’s face as she gets closer to you. “I can be.” She says a crack in her voice. 

You start to walk towards the woman but your boys try to stop you. You motion that you will be ok as you stand in front of Wanda. “You could never be my Wanda.” She falls to her knees, her hand on her chest as she looks up at you. “I can see your hurt and your pain but you have caused so much more and for what.” Tears rolled down her cheeks. “I did it for you.” She whispers. “I would never want you to do this for me. Wanda you murdered people. Good people.” Wanda stands back up and moves towards you, her hand reaching out to cup your cheek. You back up away from her touch. “I wanted you back.” You scoff and shake your head. “After seeing what you did I could never want you. I miss my Wanda but you are not her and could never be.” 

Wanda’s face twists in anger. You try to back up again but she is quicker this time. She grabs your wrist in her hands. “Wanda that hurts.” You whimper as she digs her nails in. “Too bad. I’ll make you love me just you see. Now that I have you back I will never let you go again.” There is a panic that rises in you. “We will have the perfect little family.” She looks behind you. “Won’t we boys?” They are too scared to say or do anything just holding onto each other for comfort. 

Wanda keeps one hand on you as she turns around. Her wrist flicking as America is thrown back through the portal. It dissipates from the middle of the room before she turns back to you. You struggle to get free but she is stronger than you remember. She clicks her tongue and looks at you, her hand finally reaching to cup your cheek. Red whisps leave her fingers as they sink into your mind. “All mine now.” She replaces every memory and thought of your Wanda with her. Changes the fear to love. You’re hers now and no one will change that. Her magic soon flowed into the boys having the perfect little family. She would tear the world in two to keep you and the boys forever. 

[coffeegnomee]

have you seen the conversation between kab & zam from yesterday yet :? i'd be so curious to hear your take on the whole thing. i like that kab is someone who will have a conversation like that in the first place, and i'm really interested in the potential of her interacting with zam in ways that might force her to confront the assumptions she's made about lifesteal (both in a roleplay-style way and an understanding the people on the server way, but admittedly i mostly want meta-conflict...) so i was kinda delighted by it. and her revealing so much about said assumptions, her own thought processes, her blind spots, in an attempt to reveal very little actual information. bacon's "training" as a little microcosm of how she reacts to problems she can't predict or control. all in all she frustrates me but in a fun way here, i like being frustrated.

I got so invested and stayed up so late taking notes. I'm writing this before watching the rest of Zam's stream and Kab's stream from yesterday, basically just looking at the conversation itself. Because oh boy that was fascinating. What a creature. 

Overall, what I’ve gathered from Kab, is a massive tendency to radically prioritize her own personal experiences with a person (one on one, face to face) over observing them through other people’s eyes and seeing how they act to other people (like through watching streams s4 and 5 or just through yt videos) and especially over what other people’s opinions are of other people. 

So it was super fascinating for her to get so excited about Zam being a wealth of information, because she observed with her own eyes that he understands people. So she now can categorize Zam in this way.  

But idk how much of what Zam said about like Mapicc and Spoke will matter in her future interactions with them, given how she accepted it, but then minutes later would not take correction when she had her own opinions on Bacon that differed from Zam’s observations. 

So like, she only, practically, gained insight on Zam. That is the only flask she is filling rn. 

I saw a bunch of people wonder what Kab exactly learned from that conversation and idk how much any of yall have been keeping up with her streams, but Kab learned A LOT from that conversation. (I might pull everything she learned in a different post. It’s not super relevant here)

Like you don't understand how little she knows about Lifestealers. I know, it’s shocking given we all saw her in chat all of s4 and most of s5.

She went on Bacon’s stream (and her’s ig) a bit ago the day they turned the field purple and said she only followed Eclipse, it was the only arc she actually followed as it came out, and then she kind of stopped paying attention. Which is why she would not realize how wild it was to say “princezam! You could create world peace on lifesteal!” as if she didn’t understand the Joker arc was PrinceZam objecting to pb&j trying to bring world peace to lifesteal. No Clowpierce needed.

And like if she ONLY saw Zam in the Eclipse arc, lowkey she could conclude that he is spineless. She just never saw the shift we’ve been watching since Eclipse.

Now I have another theory, but I might be totally wrong in this, but in a potentially 2% chance universe Kab is playing around with the concept of player knowledge vs character knowledge. Like everything she knew from before Lifesteal is off limits and she can only use knowledge she gains since being in the discord and on the server itself. 

And in this case she would be embracing the purity of rp content to the max. 

In which case she would need Zam to spell out how the Joker arc influenced his pacifism arc or she can’t use that info. 

It is a completely overly charitable concept I think, but nonetheless interesting. I could go into a full on Kenadian joking that Omziscool has dementia arc. But instead of dementia she is secretly incredible at acting. Or I could conclude that it is what it looks like, and Kab simply doesn’t remember anything she learned before Lifesteal/never bothered to pay attention bc she was never going to get on this server anyway.

And anyway, she clearly is using previous knowledge about Clown, Ash, and Squiddo, and she uses OOC knowledge all the time, getting in discord vcs and asking questions about server plans and using that knowledge for herself (mane in her video, red and woogie being teamed in this convo, etc). So I don’t think it can be concluded to be character knowledge vs player. But I find the thought interesting. 

But that brings me back to my point about prioritizing the knowledge she gains through person to person interactions: she only can analyze Clown, Ash and Squiddo so well because she knows them in person so well. 

And she doesn’t have that with literally anyone else on the server. Not even Zam or Red. I can’t remember if she talked to anyone else for any meaningful period of time other than them before joining. But clearly, CAS are only the three she knows well enough to have a good take on their personalities. 

And it is a good take, she does analyze CAS in ways I would approve of. She does genuinely have a good understanding of their motivations and personalities. So she is capable of having good takes.

But as we saw in the convo, it doesn’t yet extend past them. 

So what this means is (rn imo) I think more conversations with Zam will prove extremely interesting, but unfortunately only realistically in terms of her understanding of him and not in her learning and growing in understanding of how lifesteal works and how other members work.

Like I would love to see a Spoke and Kab conversation. I have soo many theories on how Spoke would react. But she would not learn (and therefore agree with Zam's take) that he is the master manipulator until the arc was well past and done. He does nawt spill his secrets at all. Zam spills that. So (imo rn) even if she did have a convo with Spoke, that would give her one-on-one info but she would conclude that he is a bumbling moron who has no motivations and doesn't think past the present moment. Because that’s who he pretends to be. And she takes people for their literal words until they say otherwise.

BUT! Interestingly enough she does learn well. Something I noticed through her pov of the Bacon jumpings is that she was super caught up in how unfair it was and getting pissed off at Bacon because he didn't explain why he was jumping her randomly. Because she needs someone to say word for word why they are doing something in order for her to understand.

And I think we saw this in this convo, the more Zam told her word-for-word his mentality, the more she noted it and she asked follow up questions and clarifying questions and I think noted them down rightly (maybe not tho I haven’t watched yesterday’s stream) 

And earlier, if you watched her/bacon streams that day, that was the first time Bacon said word for word the difference between practicing on pvp legacy and why it differs from fights on lifesteal and why that matters. And so therefore why him jumping her is helpful, not pointless, as she kept saying over and over. And she acquiesced to his analysis. And could only reiterate that she asks he doesn't do it when she’s lagging. 

She didn’t sound like that to Zam in the convo, but that’s bc she was trying to hide that for manipulation purposes. Even if... Whatever. It doesn't matter that it was silly and didn’t do anything meaningful, that was her using manipulation and secrecy. 

Anyway, her main sticking point the first day Bacon jumped her was (9/21 ~1:00:00)  “This feels like the most inefficient way of training though. Cause he didn't tell me what to do he just started attacking me” She wants to be told what to do first so she can internalize it. She doesn't logic out a reason based on input, she needs to be told. 

This is why I think she will ultimately be okay, she just needs a shit load of conversations like this one with Zam. Though we will need to wait and see what she actually learns (like after the season is over), but in the meantime interesting conversations for sure. 

What she will hopefully learn is that Zam freely gives out general server information all the damn time, and is always willing to talk about people’s past seasons mentalities. He loves yapping analysis.

So if she ever tries to go into a conversation withOUT obvious sus and pointed questions like she keeps doing with Zam, maybe she'll lean that she doesn't need them for him. It’s like she’s trying so hard to sound so casual about asking questions but that is just NOT necessary with Zam. He will just tell you shit, that's who he is. 

But, she did pick up on that if she asks too much about Zam’s inner mentality about current arcs he clams right up. (even though, again, if she watched his streams in the past she should understand him.) But that doesn't stop her from pushing to learn

But he is sooo uncomfortable about talking about why he does stuff in the moment. Like Planet had to work so hard s4 to get Zam’s trust and he almost got to know Zam’s wormhole day motivations about making everyone hate him, and in hating him the server members would bond together which was a good thing. But Spoke interrupted and Planet never got to know. It is a workout to get Zam to actually leak his mentality, and his mentality is the only thing he really truly cares about. Everything else is just whatever. 

But she incorrectly thinks that flattery and apology will be the way to get him to open up.

But either way it is great bc Zam, and Bacon too tbh, freely give out advice about other server members and how lifesteal works. Because they understand that it is in everyone’s best interests if they learn how this server does work and how the players think because that can only help smooth things over and get good interactions. She just doesn’t realize how /genuine they are being in that moment and takes it more as them leaking super secret information. When they’re just like, 'please learn, i beg.'

In terms of confronting role-play style and how the server lives and exists. Kab made HUGE progress.

If you didn't watch until the end of her stream, Kab had initially planned to murder Zam at the end of that convo but changed her mind bc of what happened. 

Like she said in the flower field that she wanted to “do lore” with Zam to do before session and make him not trust her anymore. And in the end she reveals that "lore" was just murdering him.

She tends, like she did with the consequences arc, to plan shit out and then execute that plan. Bc she’s a scripted lore server girl. 

But in this conversation she, in real time, adjusted her plan based on the unscripted conversation that flowed from it. Which is huge news for lifesteal enjoyers. If she can learn to embrace this we will be eating well. And that can only come through practice.

From a PrinceZam analysis, we got to see him go to work and try to get information from Kab. She leaked a lot, but he really does need the practice on extracting info, he's been talking about it a lot, and she’s a great subject to practice on. 

So I am very excited for him to get that practice in future conversations. 

And Zam does try several different approaches, feigned indifference, just asking, comforting lie that he wont tell anyone the secret is safe with him, pretending to only be interested in one thing instead of everything, asking direct questions that she must confirm or deny which should give him info either way, asking for the favor out of friendship, asking for the favor out of the continued exchange of information, asking for the favor out of her not having given as much as he had given, playing for the ego that if it’s so bad you can’t tell me it must be really bad so you want to tell me, asking over and over.

She for her part only knows flattery, apology, and the placation of emotions to make you think you don’t want to know the information anyway or because you react too strongly and it wouldn't be healthy for you to know. 

The most interesting analysis is how at the very very end of her stream she said “I’ve giving him a warning that I’m going to fuck with some stuff so he shouldn’t.. He shouldn’t label that as me betraying him” 

Whichhhhhhh is hilarious because we all know ends only in one way. But that is shocking bc this was his fundamental reason for betraying Eclipse was bc they thought this way?? Like Vi and Subz thought if they were subtle and slow and give him warning about the wormhole, that he wouldn’t take that as a betrayal. But he did. So he betrayed outright. To like, oversimplify it. But basically, warning Zam does absolutely nothing to protect yourself from him ending the relationship when you do something new that is not aligned with his morals/thoughts/desires. 

So so so interesting how she has that viewpoint if she did watch Eclipse.

Oh! Final thought that might go more into the meta-conflict side of things. I think we don’t get that much meta-conflict in a similar way to how it was with Vi or Minute and Jumper and Pentar last season. Idk hot to describe it exactly.

It might not be quite what meta-conflict means, but like how Kab stops all lore to cause conflict based on what conflict was presented to her.

Kab has a massive tendency to use embarrassment and shame as an attack when she feels unsafe or embarrassed. Like she will instantaneously go for causing you embarrassment and making you feel bad for your choices whenever she feels threatened in order to make you back off. 

Like when she said: “and zam, this is the person you’re friends with?”

But she goes for the throat like this a ton, like with Bacon this stream going towards a consent argument to make him feel incredibly awkward and that he will back off from jumping her instead of risking saying 'no does not mean no'.  

There were other times in earlier streams that idk if I can remember them, but it’s happened a lot with Woogie and Bacon whenever they imply that they have doubts that her plan will work, she takes it almost as them saying they think she’s stupid. And she reacts very aggressively and makes it about meta stuff instead of on the server stuff.

What I do find fascinating is how Bacon, in three streams or so, has already learned how to give her critiques on her plans so that she doesn’t get offended and that she instead learns his thought process and is the one to back down. He is learning quickly.

Also I just realized JUST how much analyzing lifestealers feels like completing those logic puzzels where you have to figure out who has what item and what location or whatever and you get like five clues. No wonder I love this shit so much.

[notannascribbles]

to preface: i AM IN FACT aware that kind people with good intentions can make bad choices, and that those choices don’t define them. especially fourteen year old people under intense, unfathomable levels of stress. i do not think marinette is a “bad” person, and i don’t “blame” her for choosing to lie to adrien. it makes sense for her character to do that. it’s very easy for us to sympathize with her in this situation.

that being said, i do believe that what she chose to do in the season 5 finale is unforgivable (by adrien). and i think that must be where i diverge from a lot of other viewers. i assume that the viewers who are engaging with this plotline with excitement and interest as a complicated new development must still envision a scenario where this gets resolved and adrien and marinette get together, right?? i think that has to be the point of disconnection here. that’s where i can’t follow. i can’t envision a resolution anymore. i think that what marinette has done to adrien is too bad—i don’t see us coming back from this one.

and it’s not even that i don’t think adrien will forgive her. i think that if the truth does come out, he probably will say he forgives her and will do whatever he can to keep marinette (and all the others who lied to him) in his life. i think his love for marinette and his fear of being alone will outweigh everything else. it’s just that that scenario doesn’t resolve the conflict, at least to me. it really just perpetuates the cycle of abuse that started with adrien’s parents.

adrien’s whole story has always been oriented around being trapped/breaking free. adrien is constantly struggling against threats to his agency—whether that’s being physically trapped, being lied to about his own life, being stuck in cycles of emotional abuse—and his response, when he is able, is to break free. adrien wants out of that house. he wants out of the abuse. he wants to be in charge of his own life. the first time we ever see adrien, he is running away.

we cheer when he destroys the prison bars. we cheer when he breaks free. the natural conclusion of adrien’s arc was always pointing toward him finally breaking free from the traumatic cycle of abuse that his father kept him in—a triumph that was perfectly set up to span both his superhero and civilian identities. there’s a reason why no one in the fandom ever envisioned a realistic scenario where chat noir was completely absent from the hawkmoth takedown. it’s because the story was never, ever pointed in that direction. it always made the most sense for adrien to be there, because actively breaking free from his father’s control was the only feasible resolution for adrien’s story.

but the writers had different priorities when crafting this plotline, and now adrien’s arc will never have the opportunity to be resolved like that. instead, now marinette is being used as an extended instrument of gabriel’s abuse, which means that now adrien will never be able to break free from this cycle until he breaks free from marinette. it’s not about intentions or “blame” or whether or not that’s what marinette deserves. it’s literally just about how adrien’s arc at this point could possibly be resolved.

if adrien forgives marinette (as i’m confident he will), their relationship at that point no longer feels like the light at the end of adrien’s tunnel. it just feels like an extension of the cycle adrien was already trapped in, where the people he loves violate his autonomy out of a warped sense of protection, and then he forgives them because he is terrified of being left alone. being with marinette no longer offers the prospect of a fresh new start after a lifetime of abuse. it’s always going to be tainted now, because she chose to use her power to perpetuate gabriel’s control over adrien’s life. she’s tied herself into the cycle now, on gabriel’s side. marinette’s actions are understandable and sympathetic, but they still have consequences. this is the story now.

it’s possible that the show will surprise me—it often does—and they will find a way to resolve adrien’s arc in a way that feels satisfying to me. i’m just not really banking on it. i think the writers’ priorities are elsewhere, which is fine. they can write the story they want to write. it’s just disappointing, as someone who has found adrien’s arc to be incredibly compelling. it’s also just soured the lovesquare for me now—i don’t like seeing adrien and marinette together anymore, which is disorienting and sad.

for what it’s worth, i do hope i’m wrong! i hope it does all get resolved, and i hope i love this story again. it was really really fun to love this story. i love adrien and marinette a whole lot.

[radioactive-earthshine]

Legionnaires #77 & #61

Random Jenni Ognats facts to give her more depth in your fics.

Every Flash fan loves Jenni, but regrettably I have found very few people have actually read the comics which she is from and spends most of her development in, and as such most of her characterization and character fundamentals comes from her appearances in Impulse, Young Justice (1998) or The Flash (1987). While people do get her 'cinnamon roll' personality correct, as she is lover above everything, there is a lot people miss out on that is important to her character and your creativity/understanding of her. She is much more than just Bart Allen's favorite cousin.

So here are some "lesser known" facts about Jenni that may assist you in how you approach her in transformative works, or just on your perception of her as The Lonely Speedster.

The Basics

1.) She is older than Bart - According to the The Flash: Secret Files & Origins #1 published in 1997 she is supposed to be 2 years older than Bart. Other sources are rather ambiguous when it comes to her age in relation to Bart, and some lead you to believe that she may be the same age (or younger) but in reading her comics and order of events her being 2 years older fits the narrative more.

The Flash: Secret Files & Origins #1 (1997)

2.) She was born without speed, and only got her powers through a trauma response and (possible) experimentation** at the hands of The Dominators. This is generally known and is not a lesser known fact per-se, but the situation surrounding her powerlessness is generally not understood fully.

Legion of Super-Heroes (1989) Annual 5

The Dominators at this time for Jenni really are the biggest boogeyman to Speedsters as they were (to her knowledge) the reason why her mother and uncle died, they had kidnapped Bart when he was an infant and experimented on him which may have been why he was rapidly aging in the first place, and now they have come back for her again. Jeven fled Earth to Arrok specifically to flee Earthgov, President Thawne, the U.P. and the Dominators who had an express interest in speedsters - so when they caught up to her this situation had to have been nothing short of terrifying.

In the end, after resigning herself that she was going to die there, she gains access to her speed in order to save her father who is the only known blood family she even connects with 30th century.

From then on she spent time with scientists on Arrok to control her speed until she was drafted to serve in the Legionnaires.

** we don't know if whatever tests the Dominators performed on her contributed to her eventual gaining speed powers.

3.) We're not sure how Jeven found out about Bart and Iris evacuated to the past, but she knew they were there. All her knowledge of the Flash Family comes directly from her father as it is unlikely she spent any time with her great-grandparents who were alive at least when she was 4.

4.) Likely because of Jeven fleeing governments to keep Jenni safe, Jenni has an acute understanding of interstellar political boundaries.

Legion of Super-Heroes (1989) Annual #6

5.) She is a great pilot and has knowledge of interstellar communication - how she learned how to fly or to recognize various means of communication is unknown.

Legionnaires #39

Legion of Super-Heroes (1989) #106

6.) She almost draft-dodged being a Legionnaire because she was too afraid of what may happen - death is her family legacy and she knows, possibly better than all of them, how perilous they all are and how dangerous doing the types of things they are doing are. As a result of this, she very nearly fled which likely would have resulted in her being on the run - which is ironic considering Jeven was on the run with her when she was a small child. She likely knew very well what running would entail and it was worth it to her at the time.

Legion of Super-Heroes (1989) #62

Legionnaires #19

7.) Scaredy Cat to Guerrilla Solider. When Jenni first begins her journey as XS she is absolutely terrified of what may happen and is easily frightened even by innocuous things- but as the story progresses she becomes a fierce Legionnaire that fights against tyranny over and over again - most notably spending nearly a whole year on Xanthu undertaking guerrilla war tactics against assailing Robotica.

Legion Worlds #4

8.) Lori Morning, the little sister figure. When Jenni travels to the 1990s she meets 10 year old Lori Morning who is slingshot through time to the 30th century as a long-term character. Jenni feels extremely close to Lori as a big sister and is frequently protective of her.

Legionnaires #62

9.) Many crushes. Jenni has had many crushes during her run, the most notable one being Rokk (which the writers were considering making a canon couple but dropped).

Legion of Super-Heroes (1989) ##75 Rokk was her first known major crush and love interest and he was her biggest inspiration to stay as a Legionnaire when she considered leaving (see point #6). Because she believed in him, because he believed in her, she was able to use him as inspiration and a weapon against her anxiety. As the series progressed her affection for him deepened and thanks to The Emerald Eye she got her wish for a kiss from him, but because it was all fake it was the starting point for her to let him go and move on.

Legionnaires #44

Mon El "M'onel" was her second biggest crush which she admired from a distance. Mon El was always friendly with her and enjoyed her company, but nothing ever developed beyond them just being friends.

Legionnaires #43

Dyrk Magz was her third and final main crush, but at first it was one-sided from Dyrk to her. Dyrk was a Legionnaire with the code name Magno, however he lost his powers and instead of being retired from duty he instead took up a position as the Monitor Officer in the Outpost. At first, Jenni does not even notice that Dyrk is into her as she rants to him about other boys and awkwardly pushes him away inadvertently. Despite this, and we don't see the development, they do grow closer as Jenni and Dyrk are seen embracing every now and then and even go on a small date. Unfortunately, after the Time Rift incident which closes the main series' titles we can assume they 'broke up' as Dyrk is written out of the story entirely to live on his home planet Braal as a Science Police Officer.

Legionnaires #77

Honorable Mention: Kyle Rayner. This is more of an infatuation stemming from stories she was told about Barry and Hal being close, and Jay and Alan being close. Because she was a speedster, and he was a Green Lantern she let herself become enthralled with him due to tradition and 'destiny'. Naturally, it didn't last and Kyle was not about it.

Green Lantern (1990) #98

10.) Fast rides and thrills don't do it for her. She prefers slower rides and attractions mostly because going fast is her 'job' and she has the added history of spending most of her life as a normal girl who grew to appreciate slower things.

Legionnaires #77

11.) Time Trapper's meddling. It is never revealed but a Time Trapper (this character changes and morphs) once had a hidden plot that involved her and a cosmic destiny she was to fulfill.

Legionnaires Annual #3

12.) Legion is her family. Despite multiple invites to live in the M2 era with Bart and company - she has rejected this in favor of staying with her team and her father. The only exception to this is at the end of Final Crisis: Legion of Three Worlds when she decides to break from her team "The Wanderers" to live in Earth Prime because Geoff, king of Retcons, decided to change everything about Jenni's place of birth and powers origin.

Legionnaires #37

13.) She learned how to play the saxophone in the 20th century with Bart, and she continued to play it even in the 31st century.

Impulse (1995) #12

14.) Red lips - makeup or permanent stain? We're not sure but there are very few instances after she becomes a Legionnaire where she is not without those iconic red red lips.

Now you know her a little better. Go forth.

Legionnaires #39

[firegirl888101]

Insatiable Madness (5)

|Sagau Yandere Fatui Harbingers x Reader|

Don't you just love it when things don't go your way...?~

Reader is Gender Neutral!

"How pathetic!" You felt a punch, your head beginning to grow foggy with colours slowly dimming to grey.

"Please... no more..." You heard yourself beg.

Was that even you? You've never heard yourself so demoted before.

"Begging? Pfah! I haven't even broken a bone!" He scoffed in disgust, dropping your mess of a body on the floor.

"Balladeer? Lord Pierro says you're taking too-" "Oh."

"Tell him I've got my hands full at the moment, I've been itching for a punching bag all day!"

"You're aware of the plan, yes? The deal is to check everyone before shedding blood."

That's... strangely close to Arlecchino's voice. Has she come to save you? No, more importantly, why do both Arlecchino and Scaramouche's cosplayers sound like the real voice actor?

You heard the Scaramouche cosplayer sigh, then step away from your body. "Fine. Follow me, mortal. I'm being merciful."

"'Follow me'? You've beaten them half to death." She scoffed.

He rolled his eyes as he left the room.

"I apologise on his behalf, we're supposed to kill those who aren't 'The Decider' quick and painlessly."

You didn't reply, you felt an intense pain as she picked you up.

"Comfortable? This could be the last time you'll ever experience such a thing."

"I don't know how many of you there are, but every one of you should feel guilt."

"Guilt? I suppose you would think of it like that." She smiled to herself, shaking her head.

"I'm feeling quite merciful," She began. "If I were to describe a particular mortal to you, would you tell me all you know? Do not try to lie to me. I can assure you that if what you tell me is useful, I shall find a way to sneak you out."

You looked at her curiously, not daring to give an answer.

This is your chance, maybe you could give her what she wants then run to the police station yourself?

"The Tsaritsa has been searching for someone who can control what can't be seen for awhile now. I thought she was crazy, pining after someone like that."

"Do you know of someone who can easily be controlled? Such as a 'Blond-Haired-Traveller'?

Is she referring to the actual game? She's talking about Aether? Maybe Lumine? Agh, I don't know! You scrambled your head, trying to think of an answer.

"W-What has the main game got to do with you killing innocent people?" You quietly asked in fear.

"So you do know something..." She spoke to herself. "For what other reason would you ask your own question following my own?"

"..."

You didn't reply. You didn't know how to answer this psychopath dressed as one of your favourite characters.

"I'm still waiting. You'll run out of time if I walk through that door." She threatened, slowly moving towards the door which presumably has the rest of her harbinger friends.

"Are you talking about Aether or Lumine!?" You spoke quickly.

Arlecchino stopped in her tracks, and smiled sweetly at you. "That's much more like it." She laughed gently.

"I have no idea who 'Lumine' is. However, I appreciate you opening your heart and soul to me. You'll explain everything else to the others."

You paled.

"But I did what you asked!--"

"And I said I would 'find a way to sneak you out' if your information was useful. I never said when I would sneak you out. If luck is on your side, death will sneak you out before I have the chance to."

She then slammed the unisex bathroom door open, and presented you to the harbingers. Some covered in blood, while others clean as a priest.

"Ah, it seems we missed one." Dottore chuckled to himself, looking at you.

"P-Please! I won't say anything, let me leave I beg of you!" The man in front of him begged, his body in a crumpled mess.

Dottore was quick to slit his throat, the man's body falling to the ground and gradually becoming covered in his own blood.

He just... He really just killed him with no remorse...

"They're the one." Childe breathed out, dispelling his hydro weapons efficiently.

"You said that to three other mutts." Signora scoffed, sitting on one of the stools.

"I feel a familiar aura with this one!" He argued back to the woman.

"If they aren't 'The Decider', we'll have to assume they managed to escape." Capitano sighed to himself, kicking the body away from Dottore's feet.

Again with that title, who could that possibly--

Hold on a minute, do they think you're this supposed 'Decider'?

Is that what this is all about? They killed everyone in the entire building just because they were looking for you?

It's not even guaranteed that you're the person they want!

Arlecchino set you on your feet and held your arms behind your back. Your body immediately collapsed due to Scaramouche's beatings from earlier.

"Scaramouche I think you treated them a little too roughly..." Columbina giggled in her hands, watching you groan in pain as Arlecchino kept her hold on your body.

"I treated them how I treat everyone else, they're not special in any way."

That's uncalled for.

Dottore pressed the compass in his hands and watched as the light trail pointed at your heart.

"Good work, Knave and Balladeer, this is them." Dottore started, pocketing the compass as it is no longer needed.

"However... Scaramouche, your behaviour will be reported to The Tsaritsa. When she finds out you almost killed them..."

"How was I supposed to know this was them!?" He argued back.

"You use patience." Pantalone scolded, a calm smile present on his face.

Scaramouche stayed silent, and retreated.

"Well then, anything to say? You really thought you could hide from us?" Dottore turned to you, watching you slowly lift your head up.

"You're actually talking to me now?"

"Well, it was overdue." He coughed. "This world feels unstable, the elements are all over the place."

"What of it?"

"Her Majesty has ordered us to retrieve you and bring you to her palace. It would be wise to proceed with absolute mercy and peace."

You simply turned away.

"You killed my family just to 'take me away from my world'!?" You screamed.

"This is horrible, disgusting even! You all look around my age... well, except for the Pulcinella-poser over there..." You started.

"Did you all get so fucking high on those vapes that you can't think straight? You'll all regret what you've done when you come up from your supposed fantasy!"

"Fantasy?" Arlecchino questioned, ignoring your tantrum. "Vapes?" Sandrone muttered.

"We had to kill just to find you. You should be lucky we kept you alive." Capitano scolded.

"Oh, yeah, sure! I am sooooo thankful that not only a bunch of lunatics killed lots of people, but I'm also happy they did it just for me!" You sarcastically replied.

Now, all you have to do is keep them in here until the police arrive. You told them your exact location, the only thing that can go wrong is you dying in the process.

"They're acting like a child." Signora scoffed.

"Let them behave this way. They clearly know who Aether is, this adds onto the proof of the compass that they are the one." Arlecchino explained, eyeing you.

"Hey! So, I know you're probably not in the mood to talk to me, but..." The Childe cosplayer poked at you, your response hissing as he touches your wounds.

"Sorry!"

"Go away."

"No can do! There's a rumour that the one controlling the traveller knows the future... is that true? If so, do I become the strongest and take over the world?" He asked, a grin on his face.

Is this guy serious?

Sorry, I decided to pick Aether as the traveller in this since I think he's been confirmed to be the canon protaganist of the game?

Do let me know if I'm wrong and I'll change it.

Please don't expect too many happy, nice and generally fluffy scenes.

This is Yandere, a genre which should never, under any circumstance be considered normal. It's abusive, unhealthy and leads to a lot of victims facing awful conditions which they never should or ever have to endure no matter who they are.

This is fiction that I'm writing, meaning it's all taken light-heartedly IN A FICTIONAL SENSE.

If anyone, by chance, is currently in conditions where a loved-one or yourself has suddenly become distant and/or being hurt when away from eyes please get help. Talk to them, or if it's you, talk to someone you know you can trust.

If you can't talk to anyone, find authorities who can help you. Call 999, as it is in the U.K, or your local emergency service. They will always help you, and will never deny your rights or freedom.

Thanks for reading this, I hope all who's reading knows this information already, but I thought I'd include it since who knows when it comes to where you are in the world and whether your education programs taught critical information like this.

✨Elusive✨ Taglist!:

@valeriele3 @pale-value @pix-stuff @yumi-genshin-writer @yuii-v @itz-luna @annoying-mary @etherisy @khalhaimdad @haikyuusboringassmanager @magica-ren @sweatyexpertdeputyduck @booksandteaplusart @9140 @whatamidoing89 @raesleepyhead @nasidibakar @shikanosn @purpleamethystsblog @chihawari @esthelily @stuffyfrenchflowers

Quick Reminder Here! If you no longer want to be on the taglist that's completely fine; I take no offence whatsoever so please don't hesitate to tell me. ^^

[whateversawesome]

SxF Chapter 91: Perspective, History, Empathy

Let me start by saying that I didn't think this chapter would make me so emotional. Was it the same for you?

A small side character like Millie, who we saw only as one of Yor's annoying co-workers, turned out to have a very sad backstory and gave us a glimpse of how things are for young people in Ostania.

This chapter talks a lot about people understanding and misunderstanding each other. Millie was just talking about her own experience and feelings, she was explaining why it was so difficult for her to help during an event like this, and that lady felt personally attacked because she saw things from her own point of view and her sufferings.

In no way the story discards any of those ladies' sufferings; what they went through during the war was very difficult, I'm sure. Nevertheless, comparing their sufferings and demanding Millie to act the same way just because they were able to do it, it's not right.

They both had different experiences because their circumstances were different, so they face life in their own way. That's exactly Yor's point.

Here, Yor demonstrates her best quality (and one of the many reasons why her husband fell in love with her): Emotional strength.

I've said it before and I'll say it again; Yor is a very emotionally intelligent character. The way she stood up for Millie displayed all her emotional strength. She called out that woman in such a smart way!! She wasn't rude but her words were true and very wise.

One of the most important things Yor mentions is that we cannot bear the same load because we're different. And I couldn't agree more👏

Also, if we take it as a metaphor, Yor is such a strong person because she carried a very heavy load: as a child and an orphan, she had to take care of her brother. Because of this, a naturally kind person like her had to learn to murder in order to survive.

It was a beautiful chapter. On top of everything, we learned a few important things:

1.Yor did lose her parents during the war and because of the war.

2.Donovan Desmond did NOT start the war. But plenty of young people like Millie don't know that, so it's possible that since he was Prime Minister during most of the war, he gets blamed for starting it.

3.Donovan Desmond is hated by many. That's probably the reason why he's no longer in office. And it also wouldn't be surprising that the majority of people in Ostania who voted against him want to move on from the war.

3.Melinda still wears her wedding ring and, even though she's separated from her husband, she still counts him as an important person for her. I guess, you can hate a person's actions and opinions, hate what they have become, but care about them at the same time...their marriage is complicated.

4.Not only Yor and Twilight fear the SSS because of their jobs. The general population do too because they know rich and powerful people can make them disappear regardless whether they are spies or not. That means arrests and disappearences of innocent people are common.

5.There was a repression during war time. This means the state controls and restricts certain rights of its citizens. When war happens, the state may determine it's necessary to protect their country and citizens. Chances are that policing of others started then and Ostanians got used to living like that.

And now some questions:

Was Melinda being sincere? In my opinion yes (for the most part). Melinda is no longer campaigning for her husband. In fact, she's going there incognito. Since her husband is no longer the Prime Minister and they don't have any elections to win, she doesn't have to support this types of events. If you think about it, once a politician retires from the public eye, their spouse generally goes back to their normal life.

Something that caught my attention was that it was mentioned Melinda has a lot of enemies; probably because her husband has a lot of enemies too. If that's the case, it would be easier for Melinda to move abroad, where she could have a care-free life, yet, she has chosen to stay in Ostania. Why?

Melinda is still a very mysterious character. We don't know her plans or intentions. We don't know why she separated from her husband. My only guess is that she's suffered a great deal and that's why she's able to empathize with Millie, even though their experiences are different.

What do you think?

Bonus (to end on a light note):

This is the Sxf when we see Yor 😄

[liesmyth]

did john decide which of his friends would be the necromancer and which would be the cavs when he brought them back from the dead, or was that random?

I wish we knew for sure! John's friends ending up 50/50 adepts vs. non-necromancers is obviously one of TM's premises and was done for doylistic reasons first and foremost, but I don't think we have enough elements to conclusively interpret it as intentional in-universe.

Putting aside any kind of authorial intentions, this is what we know:

» The rate of necromancers as part of the population hovers around 30%. John's core group being 50% adepts is way off from that, and could point to manipulation, but also we're working with a very small sample size. Think about how it's very possible to get head five times in a row when flipping coins; probabilities are much less accurate on a smaller scale. I don't believe it's out of the realm of possibilities that a group of 10 people had exactly 5 necromancers in it.

» Harrow's birth. The Reverend Parents made sure she would be a necromancer by manipulating the embryo with thanergy. It's clearly not a known practice among the Houses at large, and John calls it "a sort of Resurrection" — implying that he could be able to do the same with thalergy. However, this doesn't confirm that he actually DID.

In the same conversation, John says, "This was all different before we discovered the scientific principles," which I think is also worth noting. The fact that he understands NOW how you could get an embryo to grow into a necromancer doesn't mean that he had that knowledge at the time of the Resurrection. It also doesn't mean that the same identical process would apply to making formerly-dead-people into necromancers as they got brought back to life.

It could very well be that necromancy was a generalised side-effect of the Resurrection that affected some people more than others; or it could be that John DID do something different when bringing back some people that conferred them necromantic aptitude. Even if it's the latter, I don't think we can take for granted that 1) it was intentional and 2) he fully knew what the side effects would be.

» Ulysses and Titania. Counterpoint! It's also worth noting that John's "test cases" turned out to be one (1) adept and one (1) non-adept. Like I said above, this could still be a random bi-product of the Resurrection... but given Ulysses and Titania's whole everything, their dichotomy reeks of control group. They are a big point in favour of the "John did it on purpose" column.

Still: I still don't think we can tell for sure that John knew from the moment of Resurrection that he was giving some people death powers, and how that'd turn out in the long run. Like I said above, he could have done something different when resurrecting Ulysses vs. Titania, but it doesn't mean that he knew what would happen.

(Obviously, this argument only makes sense if we assume that Ulysses and Titania were among the very first batch of resurrected. I personally think they were, but obviously it's not confirmed)

» The inner circle. From NtN

I could only trust the inner circle. My scientists, my engineer, my detective, my lawyer, my artist, my nun, my hedge fund manager. My diehards. The ones keeping the lights on.

Putting aside the fact that Lyctors exist the way they are because Tamsyn needed them to exist, and looking at the Canaan House necro/cav pairings from John's point of view: why not give ALL his friends magical powers? That's something I struggle to wrap my head around, for about half a dozen different reasons.

Mind, I don't think John picking and choosing who gets to be a necromancer is that far-fetched, but from a #character point I find it less likely than the alternative (he didn't do it on purpose but turned it to his own advantage). IF it turns out to be canon, I'd be really curious about what the watsonian reasoning for it, beyond "this needed to happen."

Most meta posts I've seen that take for granted John picked and chose his future necromancers ascribe him a level of foresight, knowledge, and long-term planning that I simply don't think he'd have had at the time (not to mention the mental lucidity). To quote HtN John again, "[he] had never been God" before. I truly think he was winging it at least 60% of the time.

[marsprincess889]

ANALYZING "THE TWILIGHT SAGA" WITH VEDIC ASTROLOGY

Fall is here and I've decided to rewatch Twilight, all 5 movies. The franchise is a phenomenon that most can't explain. We all know that it's very bad but also excellent and no one can deny the cultural impact it had. I was 10 when the last movie came out and I remember how everything was saturated with it. The movies serve as a time capsule and when I first watched all the movies last year, even though I've never seen them before, Breaking Dawn p.2 still catapulted me back to 2012. It's a really good way to learn recent history 😅.

Whether you like it or not, Twilight is an important part in pop history. You've obviously heard of the "still a better love story than Twilight" joke, at the very least.

Anyways, I want to analyze the movies via vedic astrology, specifically, nakshatras. We'll start with the author of the books, Stephenie Meyer.

Stephenie Myer has Sun-Moon-Rahu conjunction in Mula nakshatra.

Mula deals with everything abnormal, with horrors hidden in plain sight. It has a strong connection to animals and creatures that are considered dangerous. Overall, Twilight is still about Bella finding out about the supernatural and even falling in love with and becoming such a creature. The gloomy atmosphere of the first movie really suits Mula because of its Ketu rulership and the city of Forks really suits Ardra- Mula's yoni consort, but I'll talk about that in a second. First, let's begin with the characters.

Bella Swan

Kristen Stewart - Hasta moon (Revati sun, Rohini ascendant)

The modern myth of Persephone

In many ways, Twilight mirrors the myth of Persephone. Kristen's moon nakshatra- Hasta being tied to this goddess, she plays a convincing transition from innocence and inexperience into reaching your full potential through transformation. Hasta nakshatra is in the middle of Virgo- the most material sign, connected to the 6th house of everyday worldly matters. It's female at her most independent and untainted, either completely shutting off male influence or completely embracing it.

So, Hasta is Persephone, Queen of the dead who was abducted by the God of the dead and underwold- Hades while she was still just an innocent maiden, picking flowers with her friends.

We see Bella being defined by her surroundings and relationships, which is a common complaint that people have while watching this movie, but that's precisely why she's the modern Persephone. Persephone was loved by her mother - Demeter, but she was also rarely, if ever mentioned without her mother in mythologies as Kore, the maiden, before she became Persephone- Queen of the Dead. Bella manages to stand out with her awkwardness and uniqueness even though, by stereotypical standards, she "has no personality". Eventually, her romance with Edward triggers a deep and fast transformation, symbolized in the movies by Bella becoming a vampire, and what a vampire she became.

Bella's transformation and power

We see that Bella as a newborn vampire has impressive self control and nice skills. She also gained a power to shield. Now, Hasta in females often manifests as extreme defensiveness. It's the nakshatra of the female being closed off or completely open, and we see Bella opening up completely to Edward, his family her own family and Jacob while shutting off any other influence, thus, protecting herself and those who she opened up to from anything.

Hades is connected to Bharani nakshatra. Let's move over to the Hades in Twilight.

Edward Cullen

Robert Pattinson- Ardra Moon (Krittika sun, Bharani ascendant)

Ardra- the yoni consort of Mula (dog yonis) is known as "the moist one". It almost always rains in the city of Forks (at least in the movie version of it, lol) and it's almost always gloomy. Mula and Ardra being yoni consorts, it makes sense why Stephenie Meyer wrote about the Ardra archetype. Ardra (and rahu nakshatras in general) are connected to inherited wealth, and we see that Edward's family is most likely the richest one in town. Wealth doesn't substitute for happiness, though, and Ardras are almost always tortured souls who struggle a lot internally but maintain a cold exterior, that cracks sometimes to unleash all the angst and anger that has been held inside. Edward is definitely a tortured soul who makes things a lot more complicated then they are. He doesn't even believe he has a soul for most of the franchise. Ardra men are also frequently seen as extremely attractive by women, especially because they always have hidden depths.

Besides that Ardra archetype, Edward serves as a Hades figure who falls in love with the innocent Persephone- Bella, who, like Persephone, eventually becomes a force to be reckoned with. Robert Pattinson has Bharani ascendant, the nakshatra connected to that God and the underworld.

All the ways Kristen and Robert's nakshatras connect mythologically

Hasta and Bharani - Persephone and Hades

Rohini and Krittika - Eve and Adam

Hasta/Rohini and Krittika - The Moon and The Sun

Revati and Bharani - yoni consorts (!!)

The love triangle and enemy yonis

Jacob Black

Taylor Lautner - Krittika moon, Dhanishta sun, Krittika ascendant

The wolves in Twilight are depicted as complete opposites of the vampires. They're impulsive, forward, outwardly aggressive and temperamental, whereas vampires are characterised by more self-control, coldness and refinment.

Besides both of them being Krittika, Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson have enemy yoni nakshatras: Taylor's Dhanishta sun_ mars ruled and lion yoni, outwardly aggressive and more forward and Robert's Bharani ascendant_ venus ruled, elephant yoni, internally very selective and outwardly more compliant and refined, more subtle. None of them are better than the other, but since Bella is the protagonist, vampires and Edward in particular are more frquently painted in the positive light.

I've also seen more movies where enemies are actually played by actors or actresses with enemy yoni nakshatras. It's one of the most common patterns I've observed.

So, Jacobs's lion yoni, martian demeanor frequently clashed with Bella's and Edward's elephant yoni nakshatras. It's interesting that both of those yonis are kings of the jungle and fight for authority. Traditionally, elephant yonis are associated with authority and lion yonis are their disruptors and these films certainly showcase that in the form of the love triangle.

Renesmee Cullen

Mackenzie Foy - Bharani moon (Vishakha sun, Krittika ascendant)

I always associated Bharani females with the archetype of being born into a family where they play the role of a sort of "princess" who adopts her family's ways from an early age (I hope this made sense). You know, the chiefdan's daughter or the headstrong capricious princess in fairy tales, those are all tropes I associate with Bharani.

Besides that, Bharani is another nakshatra associated with Persephone and seeing as Jacob imprints on her WHEN SHE'S A LITERAL NEWBORN, I think we have a repetition of the Persephone- Hades myth. Also, Jacob is double Krittika and Renesmee is Bharani and the female Bharani- male Krittika dynamic is the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice. Jacob being assigned to protect Renesmee and saving her life is definitely connected to that myth. Also, we have a lot of Krittikas in this franchise.

Bonus: The Volturi

Two out of the 3 rulers of Volturi have Venus nakshatra moons:

Michael Sheen as Aro - Purva Phalguni moon

Jamie Campbell Bower as Caius - Bharani moon

Makes sense since they're considered the elite and Venus is tied with elitism.

So, this is pretty much all I wanted to say. If you liked this post please interact with me, like, comment, reblog or even message me. Happy fall equinox and take care 🤍🧛🏻👩🐺

[bonefall]

Since the ask box commands to vote Bumble in that tourament (which I did, cuz she was SCREWED over to the extreme) could you talk a whole lot about BB!Bumble's dyspraxia? Since we are talking about the *everything in canon* she got for the High Crime of being a fat foreigner woman and abuse victm in warrior cats, let's talk about the universe where we add disabled to her list of High Crimes but she isnt done dirty as balls(sorry if all this is worded weird)

Plus, I'm personally having issues writing a dyspraxic character (mostly because i kinda suck at absorbing information about things like disability when not using characters as exemples) and you've really helped me in the past with making characters with BPD, so it would be personally useful in character making

(Sorry if I'm rude, I deeply respect your work and it greatly inspires me, especially Clanmew)

All righty! BB!Bumble's dyspraxia!

First off, for newcomers;

WHY I ADDED DYSPRAXIA TO BUMBLE

In canon, Bumble is called a fat, useless kittypet, before being dragged back to her domestic abuser. She then dies while trying to survive on her own, starved to the point of emaciation before Clear Sky murders her.

A very common fandom response to this is essentially, "shes NOT useless! She could hunt/fight if you taught her!" And a lot of AUs will have her survive, learning how to be Truly Useful with all the same skills as everyone else.

I won't lie; I think that's very disappointing.

You're not refuting the rotten heart of this ideology, you're just doing what DOTC already does with Jagged Peak. You're AGREEING. You're saying she WOULD be useless if she couldn't hunt or fight like a wild cat, giving her Coolgirl Badass moments to haha embarass her bigots, and Actually the only problem here is that they didn't give her a chance.

What if they GAVE her that chance, and she COULDN'T hunt or fight like them? Would it be okay to send the battered housewife back to her domestic abuser? Hopefully fucking not!

Let's be frank; None of the groups in DOTC are starving. Not even after the prey sickness pandemic.

"Starvation Rhetoric" is an excuse, only ever rolled out by monsters like Clear Sky as justification for stealing land, murder, and throwing out cats the groups deem unworthy of life.

Yet, this gets rolled out for Bumble specifically, by the MOOR CATS, who are supposed to be opposing his ideology.

And that's where I'm starting from.

Okay. What if she couldn't perform physically like other cats?

What if she was part of a group that DID have real concerns about not having enough food?

How does Bumble herself cope with her feelings, and her desire to help her friends and contribute to a group that loves her?

Let's go through all that, and attack the heart of the idea. In fact, we're going to be doing a lot of it, with a significant portion of early ThunderClan being disabled cats.

(Thunder Storm has three legs. Bright Storm has asthma. Sunlit Frost loses the use of both front paws and ends up with chronic pain.)

Bumble's Dyspraxia

The first thing to know about dyspraxia (or DCD, Developmental Coordination Disorder) is that it comes in a LOT of different forms. The next thing to know is that it's RIDICULOUSLY common. Some estimates say 5% of the population has it-- 1 in 20 people.

It's heavily associated with autism and ADHD. The "classic" symptoms are general clumsiness and motor control issues, like having a hard time tying shoes. But these are also symptoms of dyspraxia;

Short-term memory issues, but not long-term

Being constantly covered in bumps and bruises

Having a hard time telling lefts and rights

Difficulties holding pencils or writing in general

"Wobbliness" including tripping mid-step or tripping over your own feet

Issues in the acquisition of "muscle memories," being slow to acquire physical skills.

Stuttering and taking long pauses before responding to someone else speaking

Most dyspraxics won't have all of these, these are symptoms. Not a checklist.

My partner describes theirs as like "constantly working with cold hands through a layer of gloves." The stiffness of being in a freezer, paired with the general delay of having a cover over your skin.

Mine is more focused on the mental side, acquiring new skills is unnaturally difficult, my reaction time is delayed, and I stumble into things.

Every person with dyspraxia is different, but what links us is that we're uncoordinated. We can't help it, telling us to try harder or pay more attention doesn't work. We aren't being careless-- our brains don't send signals to our bodies properly.

I'm basing Bumble's off my own. Her mate, Turtle Heart, shows her over and over how to hunt. It never sticks. She tries to pick up battle moves from Thunder Storm to help defend herself from Clear Sky's goons. It doesn't work.

She's really trying, she really is. The Moor group quickly loses patience with her, and Bumble is well aware that she's only tolerated on Turtle Heart's vouch. Her worst fears come true when Tom steals their children, and her mate is killed trying to retreive them.

That messes with her, and makes her believe that she really is worthless and a burden.

ThunderClan was FOUNDED on Thunder Storm's fury, breaking off his supporters to retreive her from exile, and Bumble's struggle with self-worth begins in earnest.

There's one thing she's confident about, and really loves. Bumble is trilingual, outgoing, and confident in her ability to talk to others. That's what she can add, and what she wants to do.

ThunderClan is different. It works with every strength and weakness of its members, and values diplomacy to keep it afloat against the odds. Bumble really is needed, but eventually even her translation work becomes less special as more kits grow up bilingual. Eventually, this too feels taken from her.

And then it's back to square one. Her mate is gone, one of her kits betrayed her, Owl Eyes is a big strong man who doesn't need his mum anymore. She's left with her fumbling paws, taking more from the pile than she puts in.

One can only hope she realizes that ThunderClan was born out of love for her. That it was never about what she could add. She didn't have to confront it in the main story because so much was happening, but as peace settles over the forest, it's time for her to start to unpack that idea.

[swaps55]

I lost my friend to cancer yesterday.

I’d really like to tell you about her.

We meet people throughout our lives who change it, in big ways and small ways, and ways we will never forget. Sara/ @dearophelia was one of those people for me.

I met her here, on tumblr, about 10 years ago. I wish I could remember what piece of writing I stumbled onto first, but she was such a gifted writer that I immediately wanted to see more. I somehow wound up following her live blog of a road trip, which was full of uproariously snarky jokes about Ohio. I had the courage to reach out and tell her how funny I thought she was, and how great her username was to this fellow Mass Effect fan who lived right down the road in Kentucky and got all the Ohio jokes.

We talked. We chatted. I introduced her to a group of people I played Mass Effect 3’s multiplayer with. She grew from a level one first-timer to a total badass who could carry a team and taught other people how to do the same thing.

And then my life fell apart.

Everything fell apart for me. Turning to my family wound up being a catastrophe, and I didn’t have local “real world” friends I could turn to.

So I texted Sara. Told her I needed somewhere to go, and asked if I could stay with her that weekend.

She texted back, “Yes.” Sent me her address, and said to ping me when I got there. She didn’t hesitate. She didn’t ask why. She just gave me shelter. So I showed up on her doorstep, and she listened while I told her everything. She didn’t judge me. She didn’t think I was insane. She had every right to think both things. Instead, she gave me safe harbor at a time when I had no control over my life and didn’t know what was going to happen to me.

For the next several months, I made frequent trips up I-75 to Ohio. She kept an air mattress out for me. We played multiplayer. We talked about Mass Effect. We talked about life. We bitched about all the people who hated on one of our favorite characters. She introduced me to Babylon 5. I have so many memories of sitting on the couch in her apartment, with her cat Odo crawling around behind my head. When I eventually pieced myself together enough to leave Kentucky and start the work of starting over, it meant leaving behind that sanctuary with her in her apartment, and it was something I had to grieve along with everything else.

And now I am grieving it again, and so much more. I am so lucky I was able to fly back to Ohio a few weeks ago while I had the chance. Hugging someone goodbye, knowing it’s the last hug you’re going to get….well, it sucks.

But I got that hug.

Sara was so many things. She was a gifted storyteller with entire worlds in her head. One of the weekends I stayed with her, she had recreated the Mass Effect galaxy map on her wall with notecards and string to help her tell a story. She could create a character and make you fall in love with them in a matter of sentences. Because of her stories, I binge watched all ten seasons of Stargate SG-1.

She was also not afraid to unapologetically be herself. I had a lot of things to learn and unlearn about the world, feminism, gender, and sexuality, especially in those days. Listening to her fight for her space in the world and refuse to be told she was anything less than who she wanted to be helped me learn some of the things I needed to learn, and embrace the things I discovered about myself.   

She loved music. She made the best fucking playlists. She taped inspirational notes around her condo. She sent me a set of coasters that say, “Fuck It,” and “Nah,” and I use them every single day. Her smile was gorgeous. She lit up a room.  

And now she’s gone. I won’t see her in my tumblr notes anymore. I won’t see her on my dash. I won’t get pinged with new Odo photos. She won’t get to hear the new music I listen to that shows up in our Spotify blend. I won’t get to talk about the next Mass Effect game with her. I won’t get any more Ao3 updates in my inbox.

I wanted you to know about her – this pocket friend of mine who impacted my life in ways that I won’t ever forget.

I hope you will read her stories. Listen to her playlists. She was a brilliant human being. She should still be here. She isn’t.

And I miss her.  

[bijouxcarys]

𝑻𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑩𝒊𝒏𝒅 (𝑹𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝑹𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒏𝒔 𝒙 𝑶𝑪) - 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑭𝒐𝒖𝒓

Masterlist

Character Profiles/Face Claims

Playlist

A/N: We're starting to pick up the pace now. Let me know your thoughts, and any predictions ;) And thank you for all the love on this so far, it warms my cold lil heart.

Tags: @trippinsorrows @empressdede @thetribalqueen @heauxvibez @bigsimperika

@cyberdejos2 @keyaho @headoftheetable @jstarr86 @southerngirl41

@tshepisho @cry1nwhileimcumm1n @maeb99 @thedesireds @dzdndcnfsd

@expert-texpert @niknakbucks92 @sillyteecup

(let me know if you want to be tagged in future Roman fics)

Nate stormed down the hallway of the Volkov mansion, her footsteps a rapid staccato against the polished marble floors. Her pulse pounded in her ears, a furious drumbeat driving her forward. She didn’t bother to knock when she reached Dimitri’s office, throwing the heavy oak doors open with a force that sent them crashing against the walls.

Dimitri looked up from his desk, his piercing blue eyes narrowing as he took in his daughter’s fiery expression. The cigar in his hand smoldered, casting a thin wisp of smoke into the dimly-lit room.

“What’s all this about ‘the merch is gone’?” Nate demanded sharply. “It can’t be just gone, it’s heavy-duty shit!”

Dimitri leaned back in his chair, controlled anger plastered over his features. “Privet to you too, Natalka.”

“Don’t sugar-coat it, dad, what happened last night?!”

“I don’t know! Believe me, I’m as furious as you are.”

Nate’s eyes flashed with indignation. “Well, you’d better start figuring out then, because this isn’t go–”

She was cut off by the older Volkov slamming his fist down onto the desk, rattling the intricately organised items on it. “I know this isn’t good, Natalka. You don’t think I am aware of that?!” He looked at her with narrowed eyebrows, the arch in them a menacing gesture. “So before you start ridiculing me, milyi, I suggest you hold your tongue.” Dimitri’s fist unclenched as he took a deep breath, straightening out the singular crease in his shirt. 

“I may not know where our merchandise is, Natalka, but I know who took it…”

Nate folded her arms, nodding her head to encourage him to continue. An outburst like that was normal in their household, always had been. She started to get used to it around… the age of 13, maybe earlier.

“The Samoans. The Bloodline. They took everything.”

Her eyes cast off to the side, feeling the anger at a boiling point, only now it wasn’t because she had no answers. It was a moment of furious realisation. “Fuck…”

“What?”

Nate sighed, shutting her eyes and rubbing at her temples. “I saw… Roman Reigns at the function the other night… Fuck!” She huffed to herself, running her hands through her hair. “Ya takoy glupyi,” she muttered under her breath.

“You’re not stupid, Natalka, that piece of shit is stealthy. Way too stealthy for my liking…” Dimitri rocked back in his chair, tapping the pen in his hand on the desk. “Grebanaya krysa…”

“He must have been listening in. That had to have been why he was there,” Nate laughed bitterly. “The Bloodline never show at functions like that.”

“Of course they don’t, they have no, uh… class.”

“You can say that again…” Nate agreed just as the office doors were once again pushed open, her two uncles making their presence known.

“Radi blady, why are so many people walking in and out of my office without knocking today?” Dimitri snapped, looking over at his younger brothers.

Nate looked over her shoulder, craning her neck almost just to meet the eyes of her oldest uncle, Sergei. Perhaps it was because she grew up around Dimitri that Sergei bristled her composure more than her father did. She instinctively took a step to the side to allow the 6ft 5” Slav to approach his brother’s desk with his trademark perpetual scowl.

“We have confirmation, Mitya,” he started. “Priest is definitely… pokoyny.”

Widening her eyes, Nate stepped over the figurative line placed between herself and Sergei. “Sorry, what?”

Dimitri gave Sergei a displeased leer, before looking over at his daughter. “I didn’t want to bring this up yet, Na–”

“So not only did we lose our money, and our shipment… But Damien Priest is dead, too? What next?”

“Drop the attitude–”

“Drop the attitude? I don’t care who it is, but if someone dies, you tell me, Papa. We don’t do secrets in this family, remember?”

Dimitri met her gaze with a hard glare. “And what would you have done with that information, Natalka? Run off half-cocked and gotten yourself killed?”

“Oh, so it was intentional, then, is what you’re telling me?”

“What else could it have fucking been, devochka? It was that bullet that started the whole thing!” Dimitri shot up out of his seat, shoving his hands into his pockets as he paced over to the window. “I don’t need you running off and creating a bigger mess for us.”

“This isn’t about me running off. It’s about trust. You can’t expect me to follow you if you keep me in the dark all the time.”

Sighing, the patriarch of the family ran his tongue over his teeth. His subtle way of conceding and admitting that she was right, and that she had a point. What, you thought Dimitri Volkov would verbally admit his wrongdoing? You poor peasant…

Sergei and Ivan exchanged uneasy glances but said nothing. They knew better than to get in between the boss and his daughter, even if they were family. Nate took a long, deep breath, trying to steady her racing heart. “We need to hit back, no? Hard. The Bloodline needs to know they can’t fuck with us and get away with it.”

“We will,” Dimitri nodded slowly, glancing to the side with the slightest glimmer of balanced pride. “But we do this my way. No rash decisions.”

“Well, do we have any idea on who the sniper was?”

“Could be anyone,” Ivan finally piped up, standing a few feet behind Sergei. “But given the timing, it’s too convenient to be a complete coincidence. Had to be someone close to the Samoans.”

“What a revelation,” Sergei berated.

The room fell silent for a second, and each of them knew that it was important to let it simmer. To let Dimitri simmer. He was coming up with something, thinking about all the evil fucking things he could do to make someone suffer. He was good at that. He was a Volkov.

“So…” Nate broke the silence gently, taking a step towards her father. “What is the plan, Papa?” she asked steadily.

Gaze focused outside, Dimitri sneered. “Obviously, our focus is The Bloodline. They think they can steal from us and get away with it? Nyet. We follow them, every step they take. I want eyes on Roman Reigns twenty-four seven.”

Sergei nodded, his lips curling into a smirk. “ He was pretty adamant that it was us who set up the hit. Like he couldn’t believe it could be anyone else.”

Nate scoffed. “That’s what a guilty person would say.”

Dimitri’s eyes narrowed, voice dripping with venom. “Roman Reigns… that arrogant son of a bitch. He thinks he’s untouchable.”

Fists clenched, Nate’s mind took her back to the function again. She knew then that it was strange for him to make an appearance. “He was definitely scoping the place out the other night…” she confirmed, mostly to herself, but also loud enough for her father to hear.

“Of course he was! That cowardly bastard. Probably planning this whole thing from the start. He thinks he’s clever,” he chuckled darkly. “But he’s nothing more than a rabid dog who needs to be… put down.”

Nate could see the eclipse in her father’s eyes, the depths of his hatred for Roman. She knew that when Dimitri was like this, in his own head, there was no stopping him.

“What do you want to do, Papa?” she asked him, her voice low.

The smile on his face was… chilling. “Oh, I have plans for Roman. First, we’ll break him. Take away everything he cares about. Family… empire… his pride. Then, when he has nothing left to lose…” He crushed his cigar onto the windowsill. 

“I’ll kill him myself.”

Sergei leaned against the wall, his arms crossed with a cruel grin on his face. “And we’ll start by hitting his operations. Make him bleed money. Make his men turn on him.”

Ivan nodded in agreement. “We’ll find his weak spots. Exploit them.”

Nate felt a shiver run down her spine at the promises being made around her; this talk always did make her heart pump hot blood a thousand gallons a minute, made her fingertips tingle, and the adrenaline in her system shoot to an all time high. “And if he fights back?” She already knew the answer, she just wanted to hear it.

Dimitri turned, finally, to look his daughter head-on, a euphoric glittering in his eyes. “Then we crush him. Completely. He won’t know what hit him until it’s much too late.”

With a small smirk of her own, Nate nodded. “I’ll do whatever it takes.”

He reached out and grabbed her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes. “I know you will, Nate. You are my daughter. We do not show weakness. We do not forgive. And we do not forget.”

Nate swallowed hard. “Yes, Papa.”

Releasing her, Dimitri turned to his younger brothers. “Get our best. I want updates on the hour. If Reigns so much as takes a piss, I want to know about it.”

Sergei and Ivan nodded, their faces set in grim determination. “It will be done, Mitya,” Sergei promised.

As the discussion died down, there was a knock on the office door. Dimitri’s secretary, Olga, poked her head in. “Mr Volkov, Mr Sokolov has arrived.”

Dimitri barely glanced her way. “Send him in and get out.”

Olga nodded quickly, slipping back out and closing the door softly behind her. Dimitri turned back to Sergei and Ivan. “Go. Start setting up surveillance on The Bloodline. I want no mistakes.”

The brothers nodded, heading for the door. As soon as she heard the click of the door closing, Nate whipped her head towards her father. 

“Why is Boris here?”

Dimitri didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he moved to his desk, straightening some papers before looking at her with a distant smile. “You two have much to discuss, dorogoy. We can’t make everyone wait for the wedding, can we?”

And just like that, Nate felt sick to her stomach. Unless the deal came with torturing the fucker before killing him immediately after saying “I do,” then she wanted no part of it.

“I hate him,” she spat in disgust. “The thought of being married to him makes me want to throw myself out of the fucking window.”

Smile ceasing to waver, Dimitri walked over to the large window in his office, and with a flourish, opened it wide. The cool breeze from outside rushed in, rustling papers on the desk. He gestured towards the open window. “Then do it. Go ahead.”

Nate stared at him, lips parting in slight shock. She knew her father was cruel, but this… This was new. She didn’t move, her eyes locking with his, trying to understand the depths of this malice, until he finally closed the window, hardening his expression.

“You will do as I say. You will be nice to Borislav. And you will talk to him. You will not embarrass me…” he practically gnarled with his jaw tightened. “Is that understood?”

With her own jaw clenching, her hands balled into fists at her sides. She hated Boris with every fibre of her being. He was a creep, a monster in his own right, and even the knowledge of being in the same vicinity as him made her skin crawl. But she knew better than to defy her father openly. Not here, not now.

“Yes,” he muttered through gritted teeth.

“Good,” he accepted coldly, heading over to sit back at his desk.

Nate remained in the centre of the room, in the uncomfortable silence. She took a deep breath, her resolve momentarily softening. Perhaps a change of topic to ease the tension would help her nerves about talking to Boris. Just a quick diversion… There was one thing she had been thinking about for days, something personal, something that she dreaded bring up but felt compelled to address.

“Dad,” she began softly, her voice almost a whisper. “Mum’s birthday is coming up. Do you think… do you think we could maybe… do something nice for her?”

Dimitri’s expression remained icy, but a flicker of annoyance crossed his face. “What for?” he snapped. “She’s dead, Nate. There’s no need to celebrate the birthday of a dead woman.”

Nate’s heart sank. She had expected this response, yet it didn’t make the sting any softer. Her mother’s absence was a wound that never healed, a constant ache in her chest. She knew better than to expect any warmth from Dimitri when it came to her mother, but she had hoped, just for a moment, that he might show a flicker of humanity.

“B-but,” she persisted, her voice trembling slightly, “It would mean a lot to me. And it would mean a lot to Katerina, too. She was… she was our mother.”

Her father’s eyes hardened, his patience wearing thin. “I got over it. So should you. You’re twenty-seven years old. There’s no point in dwelling on the past. The dead are gone, and we move on. That’s the way of the world.”

Nodding slowly, Nate couldn’t mistake the pain in her chest for anything else other than disappointment. “Okay…” she accepted quietly. She knew this would be the outcome, but the rejection always left a permanent infliction on her soul. Her mother’s memory deserved more, but in this house, sentimentality was a weakness.

“But it’s just… a small gesture, for her memory?” Nate tried to push the topic, even though she could feel her voice breaking.

“Enough,” he barked. “She’s dead, Natalka. And we don’t waste time on the dead. You want to honour her? Be fucking useful. Grow the fuck up.”

Nate clenched her fists, swallowing the lump in her throat. “Yes, Papa.” She turned away, hiding the tears that threatened to spill over; she had learned long ago that showing weakness in front of anybody, most prominently her father, only invited more pain.

Dimitri watched her for a moment, his expression unreadable. “Now, go,” he ordered. “You have more pressing matters.”

As Nate forced herself to move, walking towards the door, she couldn’t help but glance back at her father, hoping for some sign of understanding, some hint of compassion. But there was nothing. Dimitri Volkov was as cold and unyielding as ever, his heart as hard as the steel that surrounded them.

She left the office, closing the door behind her with a heavy thud. Conceding to endure this, just like she had to endure everything else. Including the arrogant little prick waiting for her downstairs.

Honestly, Nate wished Boris would have actually sat down and waited for her. It made her too nervous when he had the freedom to roam the estate, taking in every little inch of detail he could. After all, in Dimitri’s eyes, it was going to belong to Boris in the future. And the idea wasn’t the sweetest to digest.

She found him analysing a framed plaque of the Volkov family tree—something Nate generally took pride in, but became somewhat tainted by being leered at by Boris Sokolov. 

“Sokolov,” Nate greeted him neutrally. It was more of a strenuous call-out than anything else. 

Turning his head, Boris attempted to charm her with that signature smirk of his. Whilst it might have worked on a young woman less accustomed to his ways, Nate got over his forced charisma pretty quickly. As soon as she hit puberty, in fact, it was all Boris could seem to do. Her chest changed size, and it was like he’d never looked at a naked woman, or watched porn before. The Sokolovs weren’t exactly known to be prudish. 

In fact, Nate remembered very vividly the time Boris’ parents openly admitted that they wanted their son to lose his virginity as soon as he could. Something about it making him a “better man,” and more desirable when it came down to finding a wife. Nate just never imagined she would be the one expected to desire it.

“Natalka, privet,” he leaned in, going for a peck on her cheek. But with nobody being around, Nate took the opportunity to dodge the chapstick-lathered lips. 

Just a little damage to his little ego.

Clearing his throat, he stood up straight and held out his hand. “Shall we?”

Nate stared at his outstretched hand, every fibre of her being screaming at her to reject it—to break his fucking fingers, even. But she knew her defiance would only make things worse. Reluctantly, she placed her hand in his, feeling a chill run through her at his touch.

“Fine,” she said coldly. “Let’s get this over with.”

Boris’ smile widened, but it didn’t quite reflect in his eyes. “You’ll see, Natalka. This will be the best thing for both of us.”

She doubted that very much.

The corridors of the estate felt more like a labyrinth of lost dreams and broken promises that use to hang from the ceilings during her childhood like Christmas decorations. Nowadays, the only thing inhabiting the hallways were the rows of dull paintings that used to dazzle her innocent eyes, and synthetic plants in which she swore as a kid she could catch the sweet scent of patchouli from.

Nate followed Boris, mind relaying thoughts of escape, of finding a way to carve out her own path within the confines of her family’s expectations. But for now, she was trapped in a web of tradition and duty, with no clear road to freedom.

As they reached a secluded study, Boris closed the door behind them, turning to face her with a triumphant look. “So, my Natalka, let’s talk ab—”

“Mistake number one,” she swiftly interrupted. “Never… ever… call me yours. I am not yours to call dibs on, you pizda.”

“You will be one day. You know that family tree hanging in the hallway out there,” Boris pointed to the door. “One day your name will change. It will no longer be little Natalka Irina Volkov, Daddy’s printsessa. It’ll say…” 

He took a step closer to her, backing her into a wall. “Natalka Irina Volkov… Sokolov. Wife. And eventually,” he took a moment to give her body a once over. “A mother. Although, what a shame to waste such a beautiful body on a utroba demona, eh?”

“Chert voz’mi, Borislav. Until that family tree out there says Sokolov, I remain a Volkov. And as a Volkov, an inhabitant of this estate, I suggest you get the fuck out of my face and step down before your jaw marries the carpets.” Her eyes shot lasers through him.

Boris’ smirk faltered for a brief moment, but he quickly recovered, slipping his hands into his pockets. “You always did have a… how you say, sharp tongue. It’s one of the many things I look forward to taming.”

Nate’s lip curled in disgust. “Keep dreaming, Boris. You might have Dad fooled, but you’ll never have your idealistic paradise with a servant wife with Sokolov carbon copies running around everywhere. I’d rather die than give you that.”

“Such fire,” Boris mused. “But don’t worry. Have your tantrum now, and you’ll come around soon enough. Not long now, Volkov,” he clicked his tongue.

Clenching her fists at her sides, her nails dug painfully into her palms. “And until then, you stay the fuck away from me. You so much as look at me wrong, and I’ll make sure you regret ever stepping foot into my circle.” She slowly looked him up and down, before grimacing.

“Especially in that hideous tweed…”

“I like when you’re feisty, detka. Makes me wonder if it translates t–”

“We’re done with this conversation,” her green eyes bore into his blue ones. Her nostrils threatened to flare. And she so badly wanted to spit in this fucker’s eye. But all she could do was brush past him, yanking the door open.

“Oh, another word of advice…” she added, turning in the doorway. “You so much as utter my mother’s name ever again… I’ll kill you.”

She left him with that very clear warning, heading towards the only place she could truly be alone. For the most part, anyways. Once inside her sanctuary, she slammed the door behind her, leaning against it as if to keep the entire world—and Boris—at bay.

Nate’s room was… complex. She liked seeing herself in the form of interior design. It made her realise just how fucked up she was.

The walls were a deep, moody burgundy, adorned with dark, intricate patterns. Heavy velvet drapes framed the windows, keeping the harsh daylight at bay and casting the room in a perpetual twilight. Her space was filled with relics of her past and symbols of her Russian heritage—mostly gifts from paternal grandparents, close family friends, etc… Ornate dolls lined the top shelves, and a large, intricately woven rug covered the wooden floor.

She began pacing back and forth, mind reeling with anger and frustration. Boris’ words were relentless in their echoing, his smug face lingering in her thoughts like a persistent shadow. She needed to calm down, to find the tiniest semblance of peace.

Usually, she would head down to the gym and make use of the punching bag that hung from the ceiling in the corner. Overtime, it had become her dedicated method of relief, as well as the occasional series of rounds in the shooting range. And no, she didn’t feel guilty for plastering a photo of Boris’ face in the target area from time to time.

But now, she needed complete privacy. Somewhere that requires a knock on the door and permission before entering. Somewhere that felt… safe. Where she could breathe, and just… be.

She ran her fingers through her hair, holding it back momentarily as she scanned the room for a distraction, until her eyes landed on the calendar hanging by her desk. One date was circled in red sharpie: her mother’s birthday.

A wave of grief washed over her for the millionth time that month, momentarily quenching the flames of her anger. Her mother had been the only source of genuine warmth and love in her life, the only person, excluding Katya, who had ever seen her as more than just a weapon in her father’s arsenal.

The memory of her gentle smile. Her comforting presence. It was all such a stark contrast to how Dimitri was.

Nate walked over to her desk and pulled open the bottom drawer, retrieving an old, worn photo album she had managed to swipe from Dimitri’s office a couple of years back. How she got away with it, she wasn’t sure, but the desperation to have something of her mother outweighed the potential repercussions of not only entering the office without permission, but also stealing from her father.

She flopped onto her bed, photo album in hand. The cover was faded, and the edges were frayed from years of handling. Opening it, she began to leaf through the pages, each photograph a window to a past that seemed both distant and immediate. Pictures of family gatherings, holidays, and simple everyday moments. 

Hindsight is a powerful thing. These photos all painted the perfect picture of what she, as a child, perceived life to be. Which was just that: perfect. But looking back, through wisdom and experience, she now knew what was going on behind the camera. What was going on whenever Irina tucked her into bed at night and left her with her nightlight on.

Deals, alliances, meetings, trade-offs, drop-offs, shipments… murder.

It all made the people looking back at her in each photo a mere mirage. Like mannequins in their clothing. It just wasn’t… real.

However, one photo in particular caught her eye, and unfortunately held more authenticity than she gave the previous photos credit for.

It was a family photo, taken at a function not unlike the one she was in attendance at the other night. Her mother stood in the centre, radiant and beautiful, with Katya and Nate on either side of her. Katya must have only been 12 at the time, making Nate 19. The photo captured a moment of pure happiness, a fleeting glimpse of the life Nate enjoyed before everything changed… a mere week after.

As she stared at the picture, her gaze drifted to the people standing around them. Familiar faces, family friends and associates who often attended such functions. Some of them, she hadn’t seen in a long time, which only meant they were either dead or retired. And then there, in the back corner, with that annoying fucking face… was Boris.

Boris and his little group of fucking friends. Friends she never met, and friends she doubted stayed around for longer than the night’s event. Free, unquestioned entry, free food, free drinks, free everything. Not uncommon for Boris to swing his metaphorical dick around, and it made her roll her eyes at how little he’d changed in 8 years.

On the next page lay a collage Nate herself had made when she first got her hands on the album. It was a collection of newspaper clippings and articles she’d stored away over the years, detailing the superficial nature of her mother’s death.

Volkov Matriarch Killed in Tragic Drive-By Shooting

Community Mourns Loss of Beloved Figure

Nate had read these articles countless times, each word practically etched in her memory.

It was like she enjoyed torturing herself reading them, as each time always brought on an overwhelming sense of injustice. Anger. Unease. Nausea. Then right back to anger again. 

No investigation into who the shooters were, not even a fucking enquiry. In fact, there had been very little talk about it at all. It was as if the whole incident had been swept under the rug, forgotten by everyone except her. Even Dimitri went out of his way to hire private investigators, call on his best men to find out who the fuck murdered his wife and why. He was beside himself for a year before one day a switch seemed to flip in his head and it wasn’t even a factor in their lives anymore.

Guess marrying a notorious mafia boss meant very little concern postmortem.

But still, even after 8 years, the question burned her mind, fuelled by the lack of closure. By the direction her life had taken. Boris. Dimitri. The attempted indoctrination of her baby sister. And then to be fucked over by the Samoans—you add that shit on top of it? 

Fuck it, she thought as she closed the album, returning it to its rightful place.

Dad wants me to be useful, I’ll be fucking useful… 

That night, she went to bed, turned on her side so she could manifest the words she’d written on the side of her bedside cabinet in black sharpie:

Break off things w/ Boris.

Justice for Irina Volkov.

DESTROY ROMAN REIGNS.

[queenoftheantz]

Top 5 Anime/Manga characters of all time and why?

oh wow hmmm....

Completely subjectively:

Oikawa Tooru (haikyuu!!)

Oikawa... he is just yknow. My Character. But I also often in my daily life have a little Oikawa in my head reminding me that my passion is my passion because it's fun and I love it. That talent and skill are intertwined but also not static or pre-determined, that I might not be as good as I think I should be, and I might never be, but if I don't try I definitely won't. Maybe I will reach my goal today, or tomorrow, or in 30 years. And I can do it at the pace and path that suits me. He speaks of all this AS WELL as the very bitter feelings that preceeds these revelations. I also really love his focus on facilitating others, of reaching potential together, of trust and faith in his team and their in him!

2. Marcille Donato (Dungeon Meshi)

Oh Marcille. (Manga spoilers here) Marcille started out so silly and to be honest? Annoying? Girly and anxious and squemish. But then you realise that these parts are absolutely true, but she is also determined and loyal and scared and unafraid and skilled. The firly and squemish becomes charming in contrast to her being excited to experience death and morally ambigious enough to use ancient magic or become a dungeon lord. And then you learn even more about her and her family, the way she grew up and how she probably is... pretty young, considering everything. The knowledge and life experience of someone being 40 maybe, but with the brain to handle it of a 19 year old... she is so afraid for everyone to die away and yet she cant help but love people! Isn't that lovely!? And as someone very afraid to lose my parents I really really feel for her relationship with her father. I think Marcille was a character who really illustrates the progression of tone in Dungeon meshi, represents the themes of the story so well, and really grew on me. Also gay. hi.

3. Shinji Ikari (Neon Genesis Evangelion)

I know people don't like this guy but he shaped me so much as a teen. I think his journey through lacking self-esteem and depression and self hatred is both fascinating, nuanced and in the end, encouraging! Imagine being offered to join humanity all as one, never feel rejected or alone again and then DESPITE all he has gone through, chosing to be yourself after all! And frankly I love that the show lets him be cowardly and weak and unsympathetic, it makes him more real and make his strong moments stronger. Also gay. hi

4. Mob (Mob psycho 100)

Mobs story is more low key, but I also enjoy a story about a young boy who FIRST has to find the motivation to improve himself, and THEN has to realise that improving yourself and being a good person does not necessarily mean to surpress any negative or strong emotions. Once again, a story about acceoting yourself, even the sides you have a hard time controlling and find off-putting or scary. And I think Mob gets to realise this in a silly and gently way!

5. Abe takaya (ookiku furikabutte)

Oh Abe. It's that one page. When he is explaining to Sakeaguchi his backstory with Haruna, and he is talking about it so casually, it's no big deal, but you can tell. "Everyone is afraid of pain". It makes my heart clench every time. It's his control-issues, his fast felling into caring about Mihashi as a person, but then slowly realising what that actually means. It's him being shocked by the smile, it's him doing anything to win, it's him not realising how mean he is. In a different story Abe would have been a bully. But fortunately for him Momoe and the team and Mihashi himself are not putting up with any of it and he slowly and also gently improves himself. I gotta catch up with oofuri. (also gay. hi)

Shout outs to: Hinata Shoyo (of course), Mihashi Ren (also of course), Edward Elric, Sophie (Howls moving castle movie), Reigen (im not immune), Tamaki (ohshc, sometimes i just think about him and hes so charming and fun and i relate), Kanamori (Keep your hands off Eizouken!, shes just. so cool. It's a fun show but every time shes on screen im blushing a bit shes just! Wow!), and the straight college student from one of my fave BL's who has to go on a personal journey to accept that he actually likes a man who's bigger and taller than him and has a big ass. Shoutouts to him too.

[ilikekidsshows]

I think it's wild how the show gaslight the audience into believing Marinette as the great leader, a caring partner, best love interest etc etc when she's not. The fandom also doesn't help in this matter since any reasonable criticism to her character means flame and people who doesn't like Marinette is misogynist incel who couldn't handle to see a strong female lead while I'm here be like : strong female lead, where? 🧐

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Time times Marinette didn’t act like the sole flawless hero protagonist she supposedly is until someone else gave her a proverbial kick in the butt or patted her on the head and called her a good girl first:

Pharaoh: The mere mention of other Ladybugs makes Marinette mope and Tikki has to shower her in praise to get her over it

Evillustrator: Cat Noir has to tell her that it's her job to protect Chloé from the super villain that wants to hurt her and she still abandons her duty

Rogercop: Accuses everyone else of being a thief to cover her own skin, and only realizes how bad that was when her dad pointed it out

Lady Wifi: Cat Noir has to help her focus on the job while he’s the one injured

Origins: Both her dad and Cat Noir comfort her after she felt like she failed

Antibug: Refuses to listen to the obvious clue Chloé gave to her about where her best friend’s Akuma would be, and when Cat Noir pointed this out, she gave excuses

Antibug (again): Antibug is threatening to kill Cat Noir, but she wouldn’t even try to save him because she wasn’t transformed until Tikki told her to

Volpina: Was instantly ready to give up her Miraculous to Volpina at the mere chance that she had the real Adrien as a hostage, even as Cat Noir was right next to her pointing out it was more likely to be an illusion

Zombizou: Cat Noir is busy holding off the zombie horde and still has to tell Ladybug to buck up and go do her job instead of standing around and getting mind controlled too

Chameleon: Tikki pep talks Marinette out of an Akumatization

Mayura: She’s is ready to pack up and go home until Cat Noir gives her a pep talk 

Miraculer: Cat Noir tells Ladybug that she has to tell Chloe she's off the team but she still won't do it

Gamer 2.0 Cat Noir gets Ladybug in the zone to actually beat Gamer in his own game 

Ladybug: Tikki comes up with the idea to clear Marinette's name

Heart Hunter: Luka comforting Marinette when she has a mental breakdown

Miracle Queen: Cat Noir gives Ladybug a pep talk after Fu gets captured to get her to save him

I have said it before and I will say it again: Ladybug has never managed to win the day on her own when there’s an extra tense situation / a season finale going on. Heck, season 5 showed us that, when she tried to, she lost and the world was destroyed. Ladybug is not a self-made hero who never needs support.

There's nothing wrong with needing other people’s help and support to do things; humans are incredibly social creatures and there’s evidence that taking care of each other is exactly why we’ve come so far as a species. However, when you write a protagonist who needs support every fifth time to even get her to attempt to accomplish her hero goals, you lose the right to claim she never needs help and always accomplishes everything on her own. The problem with Marinette isn’t that she needs help; it’s that she actively leans on other characters for support and then turns around and claims she never does that and always takes everything on alone.

Once again, the writers are lying about what happens in their own show. They can’t commit to depicting Marinette a certain way. They can’t decide if Marinette needs support or if she’s a lone girlboss who never needs anything from anybody. They want the projecting audience to view her as the latter in order to sell the power fantasy, but they also want her to get sympathy from the audience through making her vulnerable constantly. The end result is that it makes her come across as a lying showboat when her actual accomplishments don’t match her claims. 

Marinette is like a showrunner who goes on interviews to talk about how much she contributed to the creation process and never mentions anyone from the production crew by name, because she’s the leader and that means all the praise should go to her. Just like her dad, am I right?