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fashionteahouse · 5 days ago

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i wonder - edward cullen x reader

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As you tossed and turned you thought you were going crazy.

It was normal to think of someone, but you’ve never experienced someone taking up your entire mind.

You hadn’t touched your keyboard. You only stared at it. You haven’t played since your fingers knew what the Cullen’s grand piano had felt like. You look down at your fingers before closing them into fists. You wonder how much things had changed.

Walking outside, bundled up, you slightly jump from the sight of Edward, once again leaning against his car.

Waiting for you.

“Oh! Hello.” your parent greets beside you.

“Hello. Do you mind if I take Y/N to school today?” he asks politely. You watch the scene unfold without saying anything.

“I don’t mind.” they reply as they look at you, look at him.

“Are you ready?” Edward takes his eye contact and puts it in your direction. You just nod.

Your parent tells you they will see you later before adding, “Young man you shouldn’t stand outside in the cold like that. You will get sick.”

“I have a very strong immune system.” he says with a grin and your parent does nothing but shake their head and mutter, “You kids.”

Edward opened and closed your passenger door for you.

You silently just hold your hands to the hot air that flowed out of the vents. He didn’t say anything either.

You slowly would take looks from the corner of your eye before watching the snowy road in front of you.

No words were said, but he still walked you to your locker to put your coat away.

You tried very hard to focus. You looked down on your eraser covered quiz that the teacher had issued. You sigh to yourself as you brushed the eraser crumbs away.

Lab day.

You looked next to you, your lab partner was absent.

“Y/N?”

You look up to your teacher after you had collected the necessary materials for the day’s lab.

“Yes?”

“Your partner isn’t here. Do you want to work by yourself or do you want to join a group? It’s up to you.”

“Um…” you say and slowly take in your options. Other partners started to already get to work, the small chatter swirled in the science environment.

“By myself.” you say.

“Okay.” they reply with a soft touch to your shoulder and walk to another group, checking up on what they’re doing.

You write your name on the worksheet.

“Can we work together?” you hear and you immediately look up.

Edward’s eyes weren’t shy as he peered down at you.

“S-sure.” you say. You watch his body move to sit in the spot your partner usually sits in.

He then takes control, doing most of the work as he lowly tells you the answers.

“I could’ve helped. I’m not entirely useless.” you whispered as the teacher told a group to stop goofing off.

A small chuckle comes out and he says, “I know. I just want to get done faster.”

“What’s the rush?”

He shrugged before looking at you and you look down.

“Is something wrong?”

You shake your head.

“Then what is it?”

“It’s nothing..Am I..Acting like something’s wrong?” you ask as you write down the answers that he pushed in your direction.

“It’s just…You aren’t your talkative self.”

You just nod silently.

“I have a lot on my mind.” you say.

“What is it?” he immediately asks.

“Nonsense. Things that aren’t really all that important.” you brush off.

“I have a lot on my mind as well.” he says after you both looked at the scale and write down the ounces.

“What is it?” you ask.

He sighed softly, only a bit before looking at you with a soft grin, “Why did you really stop playing yesterday?”

You sit back in your chair a bit, “Because..” you say with a shrug, “I wasn’t trying to make it seem like I was a show off or anything.”

“That was your moment to be a show off.”

“Well..It’s over now.”

“It doesn’t have to be.”

You look at him in question just as the bell for the first half of class ending, rings.

As students went to their lockers and used the bathrooms, you and Edward stayed seated at the lab table.

“What are you doing after school?”

“I have a piano lesson today.” you tell him.

It seemed as though Edward tried to think of something else to say.

“After that?”

“Going home…” you say with a slight shrug.

The class resumed after the small break. The teacher closed the door back.

“Are..Are we finished?” you ask as Edward takes both of your completed worksheets in his hand.

He nods and placed the sheets in the bin. The teacher grins a bit and goes back to typing on their open laptop.

You then pull out homework.

“Where did you move from?”

You tell him.

“That’s not far…” he mused and you nod.

“Has it always been one parent?”

“Divorce.” you answer in a small voice as you fly through the homework. You just did not feel like doing it later.

“Where are you going to college?”

You pause your writing and look up at him with a pitiful expression. He’s amused by this.

“I really don’t want to talk about all of that right now.”

You’ve heard enough of it at home.

“May I ask why?” he asks.

“It’s just..Not my priority right now, alright? I…” you say and look down to the pencil that’s clutched in your hand, “I don’t even know what I’m going to major in, let alone choose a school.”

“Music.” he says as if it’s very obvious.

“I’m afraid it’s not a safe career option.” you say.

His eyebrows furrowed a bit, “Why isn’t it?”

“I guess my lovely parent has nightmares of me being a homeless but talented musician.” you mutter. This makes him laugh a bit.

Walking side by side in the halls, he stops before the cafeteria is in view.

“Skip your lesson.”

You whip around at him as if he was crazy. He just plainly stared at you.

“Why on Earth would you ask me to do that?” you ask.

“We can work on your song for your competition recording.”

“That’s why I going to my lessons.” you say and nudge his arm.

“I can teach you superb notes to play. Something that isn’t repetitive.” he insisted.

“You don’t even know the song I’m playing.” you say.

The people you sit with at lunch walks past, questions that you know you will have to answer to at the table, is painted on their faces.

“Tell me.”

You tell him.

He shakes his head slightly, showing disapprovement.

“Come on..That’s elementary for your skill level.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’m not skipping my lesson. Plus, I don’t want to get trouble when I’m supposed to be there and I don’t show up because I was getting my own special lesson from you.” you say and you walk away at that.

They did ask what you two were talking about.

“We had to work together in science today. It’s nothing.” you wave off.

A new chapter was taught in history. In the dark room that was lit up from the teacher’s screen, showing what needed to be wrote down, the class took notes. Jasper was back in his seat in the back of the class.

You slid your coat on and watched as Edward stood in front of you. He did something that surprised you.

He extends his arms and zips your coat up for you. You blinked.

“Thanks.”

He only nods.

“Here to convince me?” you poke at him.

“It seems you have your mind made up.” he says.

He tells you goodbye as you walk to the car that your parent was in.

As they drive, you notice that you’re going in the direction of your home, not to the place where the lesson was held.

“Where are you going?” you ask.

“We have to talk.” they tell you.

“Okay..”

“I feel like we should pull back from lessons-“

“What?”

“Y/N, sit back.” they say as they take a glance at you.

“No.” you say. They give you a look. You sit back.

“Why? Why are you doing this to me?” you ask desperately.

“You need to be more focused on what you’re going to do with your life.”

You cross your arms as you felt like you were going to cry.

“I know what I’m going to do with my life…Just please don’t take this away from me. Please!” you beg.

“What are you majoring in?” they ask as you both come to a stop at a red light.

You didn’t have an answer. You couldn’t blurt out an answer because they will hold you to it.

“See? Maybe this summer we can put you back in but for right now-“

“This summer?! That’s like…” you quickly count on your fingers, “Five months from now! What am I going to do until then?”

“Study. Really get down into what you are going to go to school for. If you’re going in my profession, I can start pulling some strings now but otherwise, get some letters of recommendations ready so you’re not scrambling all around last minute. Then, we gotta start doing tours of schools. There’s a lot to be done Y/N and now’s the time to start getting prepared. You can always tinker around with your piano once your business is taken care of.”

You slump back in your seat and let the rest of the lecture go in one ear and out the other. It was completely unfair.

You press down on your keyboard sadly as you couldn’t think of giving it up.

You barely spoke in the morning as you got dropped off at school. Your parent still wished you a good day. You were planning to have the most terrible day.

“How was your lesson?” Edward asks as you shoved your belongings in the locker and slam it shut.

“No more lessons until the summer. Yay me.” you say and storm off. He keeps up.

“Why?”

“Because.” you huff out angrily, “Because..Apparently it’s only pleasure and not at all business.”

“I’m sorry..” he says.

You give him a quizzical look, “Why are you apologizing?”

He opens and closes his mouth and opens it again, “It’s unfortunate..”

You nod and start to go inside of the classroom but his hand touches the hand that was at your side. You look at him.

“We can practice after school.”

You shake your head.

“Nah..”

“Why not? Isn’t that what you want?” he asks.

“It is but…You’ve done enough as it is.” you tell him.

You felt his eyes watch as you walk to your seat and sit down.

Quizzes were passed back. You read the score.

“6/10”

Your teacher leans down to quietly speak to you, “I know you can do better than that.”

You nod.

Your acting skills were then put to the test when your lab partner gushed to you about why they missed the day before. A college tour.

The teacher walks in and everybody has a seat and new notes on the new lesson were taken.

Edward walked to the spot you two always sit, in the back of the library but you walked in another direction.

You needed time to think. You sat by yourself as you stuck your headphones in and listened to music quietly.

You felt a hand touch your shoulder.

Taking them out, you look up to find Edward.

“Study hall is over.”

You rise and he actually waits as you gather your things.

“Kind of sucks you are a year below me. You have more time to figure things out, if you haven’t already.” you say. A small grin appears on his face, “What makes you think I might have things figured out?”

You take a quick look at him as you both walk in the halls, “You just look it.”

“Look it?”

“Yeah. Like…You have yourself together.”

“Like I have myself together.” he mused.

“Correct.”

“What else do I look like?”

You chuckle a bit, “You just…I don’t know you just seem mature. Especially for your age.”

“I’m mature for my age?”

“Are you just gonna repeat everything I say?” you ask with a smile.

“Maybe..” he says and the brunette that you have seen around, looks in both of your direction. She prolongs her eye contact before books slide out of her hands.

You watch as a boy eagerly picks them up. You look to see that Edward was watching the scene unfold right with you.

You then continue walking.

“She’s not my friend.”

That’s what played in your head. You don’t know why it stuck out to you but it kept replaying as you ate your lunch.

“I wonder if he’s lying.” you thought in your head but you then wondered why you even cared if he was or not. It’s not like you liked him or anything. You just thought he had a good looking face.

“Is Edward Cullen dating Bella Swan?” you couldn’t help but blurt out at the table.

A girl next to you looks at you with a snigger, “As if. I’m surprised a Cullen is even talking to you.”

“Why?” you ask.

“They talk to no one. They would be freaks if they were ugly. That’s what makes them so interesting. Rich, smart, good looking, good family, but they never talked to anyone here.”

“Edward talked to Bella.” you point out.

“Yeah for like a second. Then, it went back to him being to himself.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. She almost got crushed by some van and apparently he was there beside her when it happened.”

So, that’s why they were both at the hospital. That’s why the nurses commented on it being hectic that day.

“Huh.” you replied in thought.

“Yup. Some kid named Tyler who couldn’t control his own van. The van was skidding down ice and everything. She’s so lucky she didn’t get crushed. The paramedics came and everything.”

“Wow. I came right after all of the excitement.” you comment and laughs circled around the table.

You felt a nudge after you walked out of the cafeteria.

You look and display a grin.

“Hey, Alice.”

“Hey, you.” she says and she’s skipping at your side, linking her arm with yours.

“Wanna come over after school?”

You sigh a bit, “I really wish I could. I got a lot of work to do.”

“You do? It was a pretty relaxed day, at least for me.” she says.

It felt like she caught you in a lie.

“It-Its not homework. Honestly..Can I be honest?” you ask. She nods as she encouraged you. You wanted to say what was on your mind but you couldn’t form the words. You opted for something else instead.

“I don’t think I can come over today. I have to start researching for schools. I don’t feel like hearing another lecture.” you say in a tone that screamed pity.

She smiles a bit, “Why don’t we do so together? I might need ideas.”

“Darn you.” you say with a slight point, “Why do you have to have an answer for anything?”

She laughs as Jasper says hello to you. You both walk into the classroom together after you greet him back.

In your last class of the day, you let your parent know that you won’t be needing a ride home.

Edward was there when you came out of the classroom. You nod a greeting.

“Alice told me you’re coming over.” he says as you both walk to your locker.

“Yeah.”

“What changed your mind?”

You open your locker and don’t say anything.

“She asked me. We are researching schools together.”

He snorts. You look at him.

“Alice had her school picked out since forever.”

“So she lied?” you deadpanned.

“I wouldn’t say she lied. You said you wanted to research schools. She offered to do so together. She can still research schools with you even with her own picked out.”

You shrug on your coat and your coat is zipped up from him. He opens his hand. You look at it. You watch as it moves towards your backpack and he eventually holds it in his hand.

You place your hands in your pocket.

“You never wear one.” you observed.

He doesn’t say anything.

Sitting at the family computer, you were bored. You were more interested in Alice’s conversation than the descriptions of what a school was offering on the big screen.

“Fashion?”

She nods.

“You’re so lucky your parents are letting you major in that.” you say.

Her eyebrows furrowed a bit, “You have your music.”

“Yeah but..” you then shake your head, “Not to go get a degree for. I’ve been told, it’s pretty much useless.”

“Nonsense!” she says.

“Exactly.” you sigh out.

“She can’t take lessons anymore.” you hear Edward’s voice speaks out.

“What?!”

You giggle at her outburst.

“Y/N, I’m sorry.” she says.

“You weren’t the one who took it away from me. I will be okay.” you say.

Jasper comes into the computer room, peeking his head in.

“Alice are you ready?”

“Coming.” she says and turns back to you and gives you a quick hug before following him out.

“Where are you going?” you ask.

“We’re visiting a..Family member. Edward..Are you coming?”

You watch him shake his head.

“See you.” Alice says and grabs Jasper’s hand.

The room was silent and you scroll a bit before looking at Edward who was watching you.

“Why didn’t you go?” you ask.

“Didn’t want to.” he says. You nod and look back at the screen.

“You said you wanted to hear me play.” he says.

“Uh huh.” you say.

“Come on.” he says and you see that he’s leaving out. You exit out of the browser and follow him.

He pats the spot next to him on the bench. You sit as you concentrate on his fingers.

It was like an orgasm for your ears. Your eyes were stuck to his fingers. His fingers moved with such speed and precision. The music that produced from him and his piano was the most loveliest sound that your ears had ever heard.

When the song was over, he played around with some notes. It reminded you of a hotel lobby.

“I’m not ready at all.” you whisper.

“What?” he asks with a small chuckle.

“There’s definitely going to be people who play like that.”

“I doubt it.” he quietly but confidently says.

You don’t say anything and you press on the weighted key with one finger.

“Do you want me to teach you that song?” he asks.

You look at him with wide eyes.

“What song?” you ask. He chuckles again.

“The song I just played.”

“Yeah, right.”

“It is a competition. It’s about being the best.” he says.

You shrug a bit.

“When’s the deadline?”

“Next month.”

He nods, “Okay. That should give us enough time.”

“I didn’t say yes.”

“But you want to.”

You retract your hand from the keys.

“How did you get so good?” you question.

“Years and years of practice.”

“You…Not to give you a big head, but you play very good. Like, better than some composers I’ve heard.”

He smiles as he looked at the keys.

“You let me teach you, you’ll win. What’s the prize? Money? Scholarship? What?”

“Money but, I don’t really care about it. I just wanted to be able to have the experience of winning something like that…I want to be able to say, well hopefully say, ‘I won that.’” you admit. He doesn’t say anything but you can tell he soaked in your words. You look away from his gaze.

“You do that a lot.”

“Do what?” you ask and glide your finger across the keys one time.

“You don’t like looking at me.” he says.

You pause your movements.

“What do you mean?” you ask quietly.

“I mean that you don’t like looking at me. You look away from me all the time.”

You shrug, “I’ve never noticed.”

“You’re not even looking at me now.”

You breathe of a small laugh but you still don’t meet his eyes.

“That doesn’t mean I don’t like looking at you.”

“Do you like looking at me?”

“I don’t…Know.” you answer honestly.

“I like looking at you when I’m talking to you.”

You don’t say anything. You instead shift a bit in your bench. You slowly look to him and his expression is warm but he took in your face. His eyes moved about subtly as you both blinked at each other.

You look away with a small but breathy chuckle.

“You did it again.” he says.

“We didn’t talk.” you reply.

“We’re talking right now.”

“You’re intense..” you comment.

“Is that bad?”

“I don’t know.” you answer honestly.

He taught you the beginning part. He made you do it over and over and advised you to practice when you got home. It definitely was a challenge.

“Thank you teacher Edward.” you joke.

He zipped your coat up and smiled, “You’re a very good student.”

You walk out of his house and you look to him, “You zip my coat up but you never thought to zip yours up?”

“I’m not cold.”

“Edward, are you sick in the head or something?”

He laughs. Laughs as if it was a joke made by a comedian.

He opens the car door up and you sit in the car.

He drops you off and before you get out, “Can I pick you up tomorrow?”

Your backpack is in your lap and you say, “It’s fine. You and your siblings have been good to me. I won’t ask you to do too much.”

“It’s not too much on my part, Y/N.” he says and the look on his face was sincere. You just nod.

Over dinner, you had to explain yourself.

“We were studying.”

“Did you study for schools?”

You groan as you set your fork down.

“Yes. I did.”

“Okay. What school?”

“I want to major in music.”

Their own fork clatters as they look at you.

“Y/N. We are not having this talk again.”

“It’s my passion.” you say.

“I know that-“

“Do you? I don’t want to work a job where I’m unhappy.” you say as you poke at your food.

“I don’t think you should hang around that boy anymore.”

“Really?” you ask.

“It’s like you’re distracted.”

“How? My homework’s done, I’m doing what you’re asking, please don’t strip my entire life from me.”

They don’t say anything.

You worked your fingers with your keyboard with your headphones plugged in.

Newfound determination came out as you practiced.

So that’s how it went.

He would pick you up from school, walk you to your classes, you would look up in science as you worked with your lab partner and catch him staring, and he would walk you to his car after school.

You both worked together on the song he was teaching you. He was mature with his criticism. It felt like you were in an actual lesson and he was an actual teacher. He knew his stuff.

You felt yourself improve each day. Your time at the Cullens lengthened to the point, you wondered how come you never seen them eat dinner.

The sky was darkened, mostly due to the ending of daylight savings time and you sat quiet in the passenger seat.

“What’s wrong?”

You look to him focused on the road and you shake your head, “Nothing’s wrong.”

“You haven’t said anything since we left my house.” he says.

“Just…I’m just…Do you and your family eat?” you blurt out.

You watch as his lip curled up in amusement.

“Yes. We eat.”

“You guys must eat really late.”

“Yeah.”

“What’s your favorite food?” you ask.

“You wouldn’t like it…I’m a vegetarian.”

You eyed him but didn’t say anything else.

You reach for the door but he calls your name.

“Yeah?” you answer.

He’s hesitant, but he forces it out, “Next week, after we record your solo, can I take you to dinner?”’

“As…Friends?” you ask.

“Whatever you want.”

“I’ll think about it.” you say with a smile. He formed his own as he watched you walk inside your home.

It was surprising. You dreamed about playing the piano. You dreamed about playing the piano with Edward.

You yawned a little as you felt him put an arm around you as you both walked the halls.

“You didn’t get sleep?”

“Not really.” you say quietly and looked at his limp hand that was attached to the arm that was around you.

At lunch, the question was dropped like a bomb.

“Are you and Edward dating?”

“No. We’re just friends.” you say casually as you bit into your lunch.

Giggles circled and you furrowed your eyebrows, “What?”

It was a study hall day, you and Edward sat really close to each other in the back of the library.

“People are thinking we are dating.” you say with a straight face.

He slowly grinned.

“I heard that too.” he says.

“I don’t want you to think I’m trying to make our friendship weird. I really appreciate all that you’re doing for me. Same with Alice and everyone else.” you say.

“So, have you thought about what I asked you?” he asks and you look down from his eyes.

“Um..Not really. I’ve been too tired…To really think.” you say.

“If you don’t want to, just say no.” he says.

“When I say I don’t know, it means I’m not sure if I want to or not.”

“What makes you so unsure?”

You just stare at your hands.

“Why did you give me that song out of all songs?” you ask, changing the subject.

He notices but goes along with it, “It reminds me of you. It fits you.”

“Whatever that means.” you say with a slight chuckle.

“It’s true.” he answered.

The week went by fast. Too fast.

It was the weekend. He waited outside of your home as you got into his car on an early afternoon.

You aimed the camera at you as it stood up tall on the camera stand.

You wring your fingers a bit before looking at him. His hands are in his pockets as he looked at you.

“I’m..Kinda nervous. This never happened before.” you admit.

“Just pretend you’re in your room by yourself.”

You nod and walk to the piano.

He stands by, ready to hit record.

You roll your shoulder back before positioning yourself and gave him a slight nod to let him know that you were ready.

He gave you a small thumbs up and you play with determination.

You surprised yourself as you owned the keys on the grand piano. You were thankful that he let you use his. The weighted keys were pressed down as the musical sounds filled the room. Your eyes followed your fingers and you were focused. The nervousness that you felt earlier rolled off of you by each second.

When you were finished, you look up to see a small smile and a small clap.

“You hit it right on the nose.”

“Thanks.” you say as you scratch the back of your neck.

Nothing was said as you scooted off of the bench and walk to the camera that was currently in his hands.

“I thought about it.” you say. He meets your eyes.

“Thought about what?”

“We can…Sit down for dinner. Thank you for letting me use your piano.”

“I told you, you were free to use it.” he says but his smile didn’t fade as he broke down the camera stand.

You nod and sit on the sofa as you watch the video of you.

“Are you proud of yourself?” he asks.

A small smile formed, “Yes.”

The rest of the Cullens made conversation with you as you lounged in their home.

You found out that they had traveled to different cities. They had great stories to tell.

You noticed they all had the same eye color. Questions ran deep.

Edward reached and opened the door for you as you walk in.

“Table for two.” he holds up two fingers.

You stare at his glass of water, untouched.

“This smells really good.” you say as the waiter sets your plate down. “Are you sure you’re not ordering anything?” you ask.

“I’m okay. I ate a big breakfast.”

As you chewed slowly, you began to think.

You swallow.

“Edward…Do you…Have an eating disorder?” you ask quietly.

“No.” he says with a smile. A bit of relief forms in you but you’re still confused.

“I’ve been with you almost all day and not once have I seen you eat. Or your family.”

“We just…Have a special diet is all. But really, I’m okay. I ate right before I picked you up.”

You nod.

Valentine’s day rolled around. People walked the halls with small teddy bears and candy from their own relationships.

You open your locker with your coat in hand.

The teddy bear was as big as the space in your locker. You look to Edward. He looks to you.

“This from you?” you ask. He nods.

You hold it up with two hands. The smile stretched across your face.

You set it back in your locker. You hug him. He hugged you back.

“You shouldn’t have.” you say to him with a grin.

“Do you like it?”

“Yes. I love it. Thank you.” you say. Your eyes then look about and you see people are walking past and staring.

“Is there something on me?” you ask in a whisper. You don’t remember dropping toothpaste on your clothes that morning.

“No.” he says with a slight chuckle.

You close your locker after making sure the bear was safe.

“Then, why are people staring?” you ask in another whisper.

You both start to walk and he puts his hand around your back and places his hand on your arm to pull you close, “They’re just curious. You have nothing to worry about.”

A dance was coming up in May.

You had no plans of going. That’s all your lunch table talked about.

“It’s girls ask guys. Are you asking Edward?”

“No. I don’t even want to go.”

“What?!” the entire table asks.

You shrug.

“You’re just going to do nothing but sit in your room?”

“Whatever.” you say as you playfully roll your eyes.

“We have no lessons today.” you say as Edward wasn’t going in the direction of your home.

“I know.” he says. You sit back in your seat.

You sat next to him on his couch in your room after you both finished homework.

“You don’t have a bed?” you ask as you noticed something missing.

He looked around.

You looked around with him.

“Are you going to the dance?” he asks changing the subject.

You look to him and shake your head.

“Why not?” he genuinely asks. You shrug, “We’re just going to be seeing the same people that we see everyday but just in different clothes.”

He chuckles at that.

“It’s your high school experience.”

“If you want me to ask you, just say that.” you say with a grin.

The look that displayed on his face make your heart thump, making you almost retract your statement due to nervousness.

“I want you to ask me.”

“Do we…Go as friends?” you ask.

“We could.”

“Okay.”

He gets up and holds out his hands.

You eyed him as you get up as well, placing your hands in his cool ones.

“Does it bother you that your hands are cold?” you ask.

He shakes his head, “I’m used to it.”

His thumbs brush the back of your hands that made you let out a small breath, you look up to him. He was looking down at your hands but slowly looks up into your eyes.

Soon, he keeps one of your hands in his and placed one of his hands on your back.

“What are you doing?” you ask as you grinned.

He twirled you as if you both had done this time and time again.

“We should practice.”

You both slow danced and you both were amused.

He gave you a hug when you were about to unlock your front door.

“You should get in your car. You will get sick.”

“I’ll be okay.” he says near your neck.

Weeks rolled by slowly. Your dreams were consisting of more and more of Edward. You seen him basically everyday. Even on weekends.

You sat up late in the night. Your heart thudded.

You dreamed that you both kissed. Your mind was distracted.

You stopped raising your hand in class. It was as if he infected your mind to only think of him.

The teachers took notice.

At lunch, your friends invite you to Port Angeles for clothes shopping for the dance.

As you waited for one friend to get out of the dressing room, you thought about changing your mind.

It was to the point where your heart started to race when you were near him. Even when you thought of him.

Your first acceptance letter that came in the mail made your parent let off of your back.

“See? This is a great school too.” they say with a pat on your back. You nod.

You received an email. Stating that you won. You blinked at it.

You gasp and run to your parent.

“I won!”

“Won what? A scholarship?” they ask.

“No. The piano competition. I won.”

“Oh. That’s nice.” they say.

“I’m getting a check in the mail soon.”

“Good. You can put it towards your schooling to get the things that you need.” they start to stay on that topic. You tuned them out.

You nervously pace as you clicked on his contact. One ring.

“Hello?”

“Thank you. Thank you so much.” you just say.

“You’re welcome….What did I do?”

“I won.” you say with a smile. He congratulated you, telling you that he knew you had it in you.

“I’m not coming to school tomorrow.” he tells you.

“Oh. Why?”

“Family emergency. I’ll see you after though.”

“Okay.”

It was like you were in a daze. The entire family did not show up. The teacher’s words morphed together. It was as if you were in a time warp.

You hugged the large teddy bear that he had given you when you got home. You didn’t know if you were going crazy but it freshly smelled like him. The bear rested right under your nose.

The weekend came and he calls you.

“I want to take you somewhere.”

“Okay.” you tell him.

The meadow was beautiful. You had to tell yourself to breathe. You felt his cool hand interlaced with yours and you let him tug you.

“How do you find something like this?” you ask.

“I like to explore.” he says quietly.

He pulled you to him as he took both of your hands. He looked down at you.

He brings you in closer with both arms around your shoulders, you look up to him.

“I have to tell you something.” he says quietly. You nod.

His gaze burns into yours, “I don’t want to go to the dance as friends.”

“That’s okay…I didn’t really want to go anyway.” you say. He chuckles softly before shaking his head. He then straighten out his facial expression.

“I still want to go with you. Together.” he confirmed.

“As in…?”

He only blinked as he peered down at you. You look away as you notice that you two were in a tight embrace.

The next day, he knocked on your door.

You let him in with a grin.

You both hug. You then take his hand and your parent allowed you to go with him and his family to play baseball.

“Isn’t it going to rain?” they ask him as Edward zipped your coat up.

“We’re trying to stick a game in before it does.” he answered. He takes your hand and you’re following him to his car.

In the clearing area, the sounds of thunder was from the sky.

Alice grins, “It’s time.”

You thought that you were dreaming. There was just no way an average person could leap that high or run that fast. You had no words. You were very impressed and entertained.

The soft drizzle of rain dropped down as Alice threw the ball with a fast whizz. You heard thunder but instead of quick flashes of lightening strikes, you look up in the sky and see Edward and Emmett slam into each other. They’re on the ground laughing.

Alice throws, Rosalie is at the plate and cracks the ball with the bat. Once again, the loud struck of thunder surrounds the field but you knew it came from them.

“Y-you’re out.” you tell Rosalie. She gets up and whispered, “You could’ve let me slide with that one.”

“Cheating! You’re out!” Emmett says with a joyous grin. She flashed him an annoyed look.

“It’s just a game, babe!” he says.

You shrug with a soft smile as you help her brush the dirt off of her pants.

Jasper steps to the plate next and flips his bat impressively. Alice throws the ball and Jasper hits it and you watch as her eyes suddenly grow big.

Alice yells a time out that captured everyone’s attention. Before you knew it, your arm was grabbed by Edward as the family circled around you. It was as if they were hiding you.

“Let’s go.” Edward says to you.

“It’s too late. They were leaving when they heard us.” Alice whispered in slight panic.

You heard Alice hiss out in a whisper, “Cover Y/N’s scent.”

“Scent?” you wondered in your mind.

“You’re okay. Just stay quiet, okay?” he whispered to you, to calm you down. You nod slowly.

You look up to Edward looking at you out of the corner of his eye as he glued his hand into yours. You look down, his foot taps a steady rhythm. You wondered why he did it.

You hear Carlisle speak.

“Thank you.”

You peek and see three figures standing in front of the Cullens.

“I’m Laurent, this is Victoria and this is James.”

“I’m Carlisle and this is my family.” Carlisle says as gestures with his hands.

Laurent greets everyone.

You watch as Edward glared at someone. You didn’t want to look who it was.

“So…Could you use more players?”

There was hesitance and Laurent smiles, “Just one game.” he says with one finger up.

“Oh, alright. A few of us were leaving so you can take their spot.” Carlisle says and throws the ball back to Laurent. The girl however, Victoria, caught it with such insane reflex, you held back a gasp.

Slowly, Edward tugs you away. The family moved with his movements. Carlisle kept them talking. The rain started to pour more heavily.

Edward practically threw you in the car and he was already starting the engine before you could click your seatbelt in. You watch as the others form into a game.

He drives in silence.

“I shouldn’t have brought you here. I’m sorry.”

You do nothing but stare at him.

He dropped you back off at home.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” he says again as the rain poured down behind him. You both stood in front of the front door.

“We have to talk.”

“Okay.” he says with a nod.

You give him one last look before shutting the door behind you. The rain poured much heavier. You stare out of the window.

Hours went by. Your phone rings. You answer.

“Do you want to talk?”

You watch your wall, “Yes.”

“Okay.”

“Just tell me the truth Edward…Your family are like…Superheroes or something. They jump really high, run really fast, super fast reflexes, and you all have the same eye color. Those people..In the field, their eyes were red.”

There was silence before he spoke again, “You’re right.”

“What are you?” you ask. You felt like crying. It felt scary in a way.

“I don’t want to tell you over the phone. I want to see you when I tell you.” he whispered.

You set the phone down and cover your eyes with your hand.

“Y/N? Are you there?”

“Yes.” you say after you pick your phone back up.

He doesn’t say anything else.

“Edward….We can’t see each other anymore.” you say softly.

“Y/N..I promise to tell you everything…Just not now. Please?”

“How long do you want me to wait? I just want the truth. I’ve been truthful to you.”

“You have. I just don’t want to mess this up…Us up..I really like you.”

“I like you too….But..I’m afraid all things that we like might not be good for us.”

“Y/N.” he begged.

His tone made you breathe in.

“What did Alice mean by my scent? Why were you hiding me from the red eyed people? Are they dangerous?”

“Yes. They’re very dangerous. Your scent would’ve enticed them.”

“What does that mean?” you ask softly, trying to gain understanding.

He lets out a frustrated sigh, “I want to tell you everything in person.”

“But we will be at school. Our time will be limited.”

“Can I come over?”

“What?” you ask as you never snuck in a boy before. It was almost midnight.

“I’ll sneak through your window. I won’t make a sound. I will answer everything truthfully. I promise. I…Just don’t want us to be apart.”

You think for a moment. You wondered what could go wrong. He’s patient on the line. As long as you’re on the line, he was okay.

“You promise you will answer everything?” you ask.

“Cross my heart, hope to die.”

The statement made you chuckle a bit before he joins you.

You hang up with your head spinning. In a way, you thought back to things and how things used to be. You didn’t know if things were ever going to be the same. You were a bit scared of the soon to be answers to your soon to be questions. Not knowing what to expect, you just unlock your window without opening it. You then have a seat on your bed and hug the teddy bear that he had given you tight to your chest.

#edward cullen #edward cullen x reader #edward cullen x you #twilight saga #y/n #twilight #cullen x reader #x reader #twilight x you #twilight x reader #twilight fanfiction #fanfiction #twilight fandom #fanfic #x you

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metallicames · 30 days ago

Text

I needed to vent my dirty thoughts about late 80's James(AJFA) so I wrote this.

Thanks as always for your help @nausicaamusiclover20 ❣️

Nothing Else Matters

Description: you and James are best friends and practically inseparable but something changes when one day he invites you into the band's studio to listen to some new tracks.

WARNINGS: smut, explicit content, sex, oral sex, dirty talking.

It’s a warm mid-May afternoon when I step off the plane at LAX. The New York shoot had been nonstop—flashbulbs, stylists, chaos—but the familiar California air feels like a balm on my skin. As I wheel my bag through the arrivals terminal, I spot him immediately. James is leaning against his black Mustang, arms crossed, his aviators glinting in the sun. Lars is there too, animated as always, gesturing wildly while James listens with an amused smirk. The sight of them makes something in my chest loosen, something that’s been knotted tight for weeks.

I drop my bag and rush toward them, my smile widening. Lars is first, scooping me into a quick, playful hug, his energy infectious as always. Then I turn to James. His arms open, and the second he pulls me in, I feel it—the weight of the past month without him falls away.

“You’ve been missed, Y/N,” he murmurs, his voice soft but steady, his breath warm against my hair.

“So have you,” I reply, my voice quieter than I mean it to be. It’s the truth. James isn’t just my best friend he's also my family since I don't have one.

The Mustang roars to life as James merges onto the freeway, the sound of the engine almost drowning out Lars’ running commentary from the backseat. Almost. The stereo is turned all the way up, blasting rock and metal that James drums along to on the steering wheel. When Harvester of Sorrow comes on, it’s over for all of us. Lars grabs an invisible pair of drumsticks, attacking the back of my seat in time with the beat. I throw myself into the vocals, headbanging until my hair flies into my face, laughing through the lyrics.

James glances at me, his grin widening as he belts out the chorus, his voice gravelly and loud. His energy is magnetic, the kind of presence that pulls you in until you forget everything else. I’m laughing so hard my stomach aches, and for the first time in weeks, the world feels… light. Free.

This is what life is supposed to be, I think. Loud, messy, and completely perfect.

As the city melts away behind us, the horizon stretches out in golden waves, sunlight streaking across the dashboard. I lean my arm out the open window, fingers slicing through the warm breeze, and let myself relax into the rhythm of the road. James glances over, the corners of his mouth tugging into a small smile.

“So,” he starts, his voice casual but curious, “how was New York?”

I launch into stories about the shoot—grueling hours, impossible expectations, the occasional flashes of brilliance that made it worth it. He listens the way he always does, his attention steady, his face lit with interest. When I finally stop to take a breath, he nods, his expression softening.

“I’m proud of you,” he says simply.

The words hit harder than I expect, leaving a warm ache in my chest. Before I can respond, we pull up to Lars’ place. I hug Lars goodbye, watching him disappear, and then James turns to me.

“Feel like coming to the studio?” he asks, one hand draped casually over the wheel. “The others aren’t around, but I’ve got some stuff I’d love for you to hear.”

I hesitate for a moment, the exhaustion from the flight catching up with me. But the way he looks at me—hopeful, expectant—makes it impossible to say no.

“Let’s do it,” I say, and the way his grin widens makes me glad I did.

The studio smells like it always does: wood polish, leather, and the faint tang of old metal strings. It’s familiar, grounding, like stepping into a place that’s half museum, half home. Instruments are scattered everywhere—guitars leaning against amps, Lars’ drumsticks on the floor, a pair of headphones abandoned on the mixer table. I trail my fingers along the edge of the console as James hands me a cold beer.

“Hungry?” he asks, holding up a takeout bag.

“Starving,” I admit, cracking open the bottle and taking a sip. He grins and sets out the food, motioning for me to sit.

“Listen to this and relax,” he says, pressing play on the mixer. “It’s new. Just an idea we’ve been messing with.”

The track that fills the room is raw and heavy, a mix of blistering riffs and experimental rhythm changes. I kick off my shoes, curling up on the couch, and let myself get lost in the sound. My fingers drum against my knees, my feet tapping out the beat. For a moment, I close my eyes, letting the music wrap around me like a warm blanket. When I open them again, James is standing a few feet away, watching me with a curious intensity.

“I love seeing you like this,” he says, his voice low but clear. “You’re always honest with us. You’ve got great taste.”

I laugh, brushing off the compliment, but something about the way he says it sticks with me. We sit side by side on the couch, devouring our burgers and swapping stories until James suddenly gets up and grabs an acoustic guitar.

The melody he plays next is soft, haunting, and completely unexpected.

“What’s this?” I ask, my voice hushed.

He doesn’t look up, his fingers gliding effortlessly over the strings. “Just something I’ve been playing around with,” he says. “You’re the first to hear it.”

I don’t respond. I’m too busy watching him—his focus, the way his body moves with the music, the sunlight catching in his messy blond hair. James has always been good-looking, but right now, he’s something else. His tanned skin glows in the fading light, and there’s a calmness to him that takes my breath away.

It’s dangerous, the way my thoughts start to drift. I quickly look away, forcing myself to focus on the music.

When he finishes, I clap, my cheeks warm and my chest tight. “That was incredible,” I say, my voice thick with emotion. “Seriously, Jamie. It gave me chills.” He sets the guitar aside, his gaze softening. “Come here,” he says, opening his arms.

I hesitate for a second before leaning into him, his arms wrapping around me and pulling me close. His chin rests on the top of my head, the warmth of his chest against my back reassures me like a blanket.

“Are you tired?” he murmurs, his hands moving to my shoulders. His thumbs begin to knead the tension there, slow and deliberate.

“A little,” I admit “But this is nice.”

Minutes pass like this, his hands drifting lower, skimming along my sides and back up again. His breath brushes against my ear, warm and steady, and I can’t help the shiver that runs through me. My heart races, a mix of confusion and something I can’t quite name.

James’s lips trail gently along the curve of my neck, his breath warm against my skin. His hands move with deliberate care, resting against me, their strength both grounding and exhilarating. My heartbeat races, the rhythm wild and unsteady as I try to catch my breath, The idea that James had these intentions had never crossed my mind and right now I feel overwhelmed.

“James… we shouldn’t…” The words slip from me in a breathy whisper, barely audible over the pounding in my chest.

“Why not?” he murmurs, his voice low and soothing, a subtle edge of desire beneath his usual calm. “Just… relax. Enjoy the moment.”

His lips find the hollow of my collarbone, pressing there with soft insistence, and I shiver. Slowly, I turn to face him. His eyes meet mine, and there’s something different in them—a quiet intensity that takes my breath away. Before I can overthink it, I lean in, closing the distance.

The kiss starts slow, almost hesitant, but the moment his lips part against mine, it’s as if every inhibitory brake has fades. The taste of him is familiar and yet intoxicating, a heady mix of his cologne and the faint bitterness of beer. Our movements sync instinctively, like this was always meant to happen, as if some unspoken rhythm has finally been realized.

His hand then lower on my womb and lit my mini skirt and insticively I spread my legs letting his hand touching me. His fingertips caress the soft fabric of my panties and he lets out a low growl. I stop kissing him, resting my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes desperate of wanting more. I felt James’ other hand slips under the sweatshirt snd then touching my naked breast. He starts touching my nipple in a circular way that made me gasp. He let out another moan, closer to my ear this time louder, which makes my weak knowing that he craves more. I know that this isn’t right, he is my best friend, but his touch is like a drug and I want more. As he said, I let myself enjoy the moment. With a determined movement I lower my panties, kicking them with my feet. James takes his hand closer to his mouth and spit on it and he reaches my clit, starting rubbing it wiht his movements that made me lose my mind. “Fuck, he’s so damn good” I think as he continues to stimulate me. I let out a soft moan, I open my eyes and the scene hit me: the sun outside is setting leaving the sky with beautiful colors making the studio magical. The blurred light create a sensual atmoshpere while James' muscular arms envelop my excited body.

“Show me what you like…” James whispers, his voice low and laced with a quiet urgency. His lips brush against my ear before he catches the lobe gently between his teeth, sending a shiver down my spine. His hand rests against my breast, warm and steady, until I guide it to my groin, my fingers trembling slightly as I lead him in my entrance, where I need him most while the other hand is taking care of my clit. The delicate movements he enters make me gasp, my body arches into him, my back pressing against his firm chest as his rhythm finds something instinctual, something perfect.

I can feel his erection against my lower back. I also feel the tension in him too, is evident in the way he moves, the way his breath grows heavier with every reaction he draws from me. His fingers’ movements start being faster and I couldn’t help but moan and sigh.

“James…” I gasp, his name spilling from my lips unbidden, a desperate prayer in the heat of the moment.

“Let me take care of you” he murmurs, his voice low and velvet-smooth, sending another wave of heat coursing through me.

His hands are everywhere I want them to be, skilled and unrelenting, drawing sensations so intense that I can hardly keep up. The way his fingers enter and exit from my entrance make me feel dizzy. My head tilts back against his shoulder, and I close my eyes, losing myself in the moment, in him. Every nerve feels alive, every touch igniting something deeper.

I know I'm going to cum. I feel a rush building inside me, a warm wave starting deep within, growing stronger with every passing second. I hold onto James' ankle tightly, the connection between us feeling more intense with each movement. My breath becomes shallow, harder to control, and I can’t help but let out soft sounds as my body responds instinctively, moving in sync with him. Every touch, every gesture seems to amplify the moment, making my hips move a little in time with his fingers. He’s damns fucking me with his fingers and he fuck knows how to do it.

"Come for me, Y/n, let me feel how much you enjoy this..." His voice, thick with desire, is the spark that sends a wave of intense pleasure coursing through me. I cum in his hands followed by a strong orgasm. A rush of sensations floods over me, overwhelming and almost indescribable, as I give in to the moment.

"Fuck..." I gasp, my voice trembling with the intensity of the moment. I can feel the satisfaction in his smile against my skin as he continues to touch me, his movements slowing down. I instinctively close my legs, holding onto his wrist, and he pauses for a moment, gently slapping my clit.

He pulls his hands away, and I take a deep breath, trying to regain my composure. His gaze lingers on me as he brings his fingers to his lips, savoring the cum with a satisfied hum.

I'm breathless, overwhelmed by the sensations, feeling a deep sense of peace wash over me, still caught in the aftermath of what we just shared. I'm trying to make my breath regular but then James comes closer to my ear. “Now, I need to lick it” With his husky voice that makes my heart skip a beat.

I don't know how to react. The orgasm I had earlier was the best I ever had. It left me breathless, and the thought of him taking me to that peak again sends a shiver through my spine, both startling and thrilling me.

I shift, allowing him to move in front of me, not saying a word but watching his every movement, completely captivated by his presence, his scent, the way he moves with such confidence.

He gently pulls at my skirt, his voice low as he commands, "Take it off... I want to see your body." His gaze, filled with intent and admiration, sends a rush of excitement through me. I pull off my sweatshirt, and the skirt locking eyes with him as he kneels on the couch, fully dressed, and I can feel the intensity of his attention on me.

I bite my lip instinctively, heart racing as he watches me. While I lay back on the pillow behind me, he gently spreads my legs, and his gaze falls on me, lowering on my pussy, slow and deliberate, as if he’s memorizing every detail of me.

"I think I just fell in love," he says, his gaze never leaving my cunt. He moves closer, his hands gently gripping my buttocks, parting them just enough to bring his head between my legs. I grip the pillow behind me with one hand, the fingers of the other one running through his hair, as he starts to lick my clit, each lick sending waves of pleasure through me.

His eyes meet mine occasionally, filled with desire, and I couldn’t help but move my hips toward him, drawn to him, making him licking deeper, lost in the sensation. I felt completely overwhelmed, consumed by the moment, as he continues, never slowing down, his focus unwavering. "You taste amazing… You’re perfect" he murmurs, his voice thick with passion. And I couldn’t deny it—every part of me craves him, every second more intense than the last. I find myself wanting more, needing to feel him even closer, my heart racing as I whisper, "I need you, James... now." He pulls back slightly, giving me a teasing smile as he raises an eyebrow. With surprising speed, he removes his pants the subtle line of his tan and the hint of blonde hair just below his stomach catch my attention, causing me to let out a soft sigh.

When he removes his boxers I couldn’t help but stare, I was surprised, I had never seen such a big cock. He looks at me with a smirk. Then he comes closer to me, kissing me with such passion and pressing his dick’s tip toward my entrace. I'm wet and excited, but I'm tight, so fucking tight for his dick. I take off his t-shirt and rest my hand on his ass guiding him to my entrace. He opens his mouth letting out a little sight as he penetrates me, stopping halfway. “Fuck, you’re so tight” he says, his breath quick and uneven. I try to relax, feeling the warmth of the moment and knowing that soon it will transform into pure pleasure. I gently touch his chest, feeling the strength and warmth of his body. His gaze meets mine, eyes wide, and I could tell he's losing control.

He moves slowly, making sure I adjust to him, and I gasp, my eyes fluttering shut from the growing sensation.

"James, it’s too big.. my god," I whisper.

"Take your time," he says softly, leaning down to kiss my forehead gently.

He moves with a natural sensuality, gradually increasing the pace, his breaths becoming deeper and blending with mine. The sensations intensified, overwhelming me in the best way, as I felt chills running through my body, drawing me closer to him. It’s as if the connection between us both is growing stronger with every moment.

At one point, he shifts, adjusting my position gently, but without losing his rhythm. He places my leg over his shoulder, his touch tender yet firm as he continues, while his lips travel down to kiss and caress my foot. I marvel at how he seems to know exactly what I need, responding to every shift and movement, almost as if he can read my thoughts.

In this new position, everything feels deeper. His thrusts became stronger, more powerful, and the pace quickens, building the tension between us both. Every touch, every breath, seems perfectly timed.

“Am I hurting you?” He asks, sensing my moans growing louder with every passing moment.

“Fucking not, please continue… don’t stop” I cry out, my voice trembling with anticipation, as I feel the intensity build even more.

The situation starts to spiral, and he moves deeper, relentlessly, his thrusts becoming more powerful. His hand rests on my lower abdomen, intensifying the sensation with every thrust.

“Shit, I’m… I’m about to...” he breathes out, his voice strained. My vision blurs as I press my hands to my face, unable to control the gasps escaping me. Eventually, I feel a rush of sensation, waves of heat spreading through me. And I feel my hot cum coming out little by little.

“Jesus Christ!” I exclaim, trembling. Shortly after, he thrusts deeper, his grip tightening as he slows, his body shuddering with a low, almost animalistic groan.

We both look at each other, still processing the overwhelming intensity of the moment.

“What just happened?” he asks, laughing in disbelief, wiping the sweat from his forehead with his hand.

He slowly pulls away from me, and we both let out a soft gasp. He lies down beside me, his head resting gently in my hair. We stay there in silence, our breathing slowly returning to normal.

I feel a deep sense of well-being, completely content and at peace in the moment. I don’t want anything more right now—I’m fully satisfied and happy. Before I even realize it, I fall asleep.

I wake up after a while, feeling a blanket draped over me, but underneath, I’m still naked. My body feels warm, and I blink a few times, trying to focus. I glance ahead and see James sitting with his back to me on a stool, the guitar resting on his lap, he’s focused, writing something in a notebook. The room is dark, and I can't quite tell how long I've been asleep.

“How long did I sleep?” I ask, my voice hoarse and still thick with sleep. He turns to look at me, a soft smile playing on his lips.

“Hey, welcome back,” he says, his voice warm and easy. “I think about an hour.”

I slowly sit up, the blanket still wrapped around me. It’s not cold, but I feel exposed without clothes, even though James has already seen everything of my body.

I get up and walk over to him. "How long are you planning to stay here working?" I ask, curious but not in a rush.

He grins, his goofy, wide smile taking over his face: “I could stay and sleep here, you know I’m like a homeless guy” he says, leaning back on the stool. It’s the same old James—the carefree, easygoing guy I know so well. I had feared that things would be different after everything that happened, but here he is, still the same funny, spontaneous guy I’ve always known.

"Do you want me to take you home?" he asks, his eyes still focused on the notebook.

“Mmm, no, if I’m not bothering you, I’ll stay here. I’ve got my suitcase. Maybe I’ll freshen up,” I say, not feeling like leaving just yet. James and I are both free spirits—neither of us has roots. Sometimes it’s painful, but it also connects us in a way. We don’t owe anyone anything, and we’re each other’s family in this unpredictable world.

He smiles, his eyes lighting up with a playful gleam. I want to kiss him, but I hesitate, unsure if it's the right moment. Still, seeing him smile like that makes my chest feel lighter.

"You can take a shower if you want… if you’re not grossed out by the pubic hair and are brave enough" he says, with that usual nonchalant tone of his.

I laugh softly, shaking my head, rolling my eyes at his cheekiness. I walk past him toward my suitcase, covering myself with the blanket. “Why are you walking around like a native american? Didn’t seem like you were shy an hour ago.”

I feel the heat rise in my cheeks, a blush creeping up as I turn slightly away from him. I glance at him quickly, a little embarrassed, before grabbing my bathrobe and the shower gel.

After the shower, I feel like a new person—refreshed, recharged, and ready for whatever. I step out of the bathroom, my bathrobe wrapped tightly around me, my hair still damp. James is half-lying on the couch, a beer in hand, staring at the ceiling with a relaxed expression. His fingers lightly tap the pillow, keeping time with the music that’s playing in his head.

He stretches his arm out, offering me the beer bottle. I sit beside him and take a sip, the cold bottle feeling comforting in my hand.

"What are you thinking about?" I ask, curious.

“Everything and nothing,” he says, his smile playful, resting his head in his hand and making a goofy face. The warmth of the moment makes me feel at ease, like nothing has changed between us.

“Want to listen to some music?” I suggest, and he nods, clearly eager. After a brief debate, we agree on Lynyrd Skynyrd, the perfect background music for the night. He gets up to grab yet another beer, and I lean back on the couch, content in the quietness that fills the space between us.

We talk about everything—what’s coming up with the tour, how my work has been lately, Lars' latest antic (as usual), and just about life in general. Our conversation flows effortlessly, like it always does, and I lose track of time.

Before I know it, it’s already 10 p.m. I glance at the clock—still in my bathrobe, not really caring. We’ve lost count of how many beers we’ve had. I feel a little disoriented from the drinks and the lack of food, but I don’t mind. Our dinner had been a bag of chips we shared, and it felt perfect in the moment.

“Let me get comfortable,” James says, his voice light, and I chuckle, not sure if he’s joking or being serious.

He pulls off his pants and t-shirt, leaving just his boxers, while Jimi Hendrix plays softly in the background. Without even realizing it, I find myself staring at him. Just a few moments pass, and I instinctively drop the bathrobe, now fully exposed. I catch a flicker of excitement in his eyes.

I move closer, crawling onto the couch, and he shifts to give me more room, spreading his legs to make space.

“Round two?” I ask, my voice teasing but confident.

“You don’t even need to ask,” he responds, his tone firm, pulling me gently toward him.

This time, I took control. I kiss him passionately, my lips meeting his with a hunger that surprises me. I bite his lower lip softly, and he responds, our movements slow and purposeful as we connect deeply.

I reach toward him, my hand brushing against the fabric of his boxers, feeling the tension in his body. He keeps his gaze locked with mine, and I can sense the energy between us. He gently places a finger to my mouth, a silent request. I sucked it sofly but with determination and shortly after he slowly reaches my nipple, playing with it.

I lower his boxers slowly, the anticipation in the air thickening. I start stroking his cock. It's the first time I touch it, and my hand compared to it it's rather little. With the other hand, I start to massage his testicles. He closes his eyes and gasping he let his head fall on the couch. “Fuck..” He moans, letting the beer fall on the ground but we don’t even notice it and I start to stroke him with both my hands increasing the pace.

"Do you like this?" I ask, my voice low and soft, the question hanging between us.

He lets out a breath, his fingers tightening on the leather of the couch. His voice is almost a whisper, yet filled with intensity. "Isn't it obvious?" he murmurs, his answer sending a ripple of heat through me.

Watching him react to my touch, the way his body moves and shudders with each breath, heightens the desire building inside me. His chest rises and falls in a rhythmic pattern, each inhale and exhale deep and uneven, a sign of the pleasure he’s experiencing. The intensity of the moment is overwhelming, and I can feel my own heart racing in response.

There’s a certain power in the way he surrenders to the moment, his vulnerability making him even more alluring. I let the quiet tension build between us, each passing second drawing us closer, before I decide to take the next step.

I start licking the shiny and swollen tip of it's length with my tongue with circular movements until I slowly reach the base of his cock. He’s in ectasy, he takes a slow, steady breath, but there's a slight quiver in it, a subtle sign of how much the sensation is affecting him. His pulse quickens, and his chest rises and falls with each breath, as though he's trying to steady himself against the growing feeling.

“I'm losing my mind” he says, his voice low and strained, his hand gripping the edge of the couch as he tries to steady himself. His body tenses, the intensity of the moment washing over him.

I continued for a bit, but I didn’t want to make him cum yet, so at some point I stopped. His eyes open, slightly dazed, and he looks at me with a mixture of surprise and desire.

I shift slightly, turning around and positioning myself on top of him, my back facing him. I took his member and I push it gently against my entrance making me gasp for his size. His hands rest gently on my hips, guiding my movements with a quiet intensity.

We both move together, the rhythm of our bodies in sync, each moment more intense than the last. He starts touching my ass with force and sometimes slapping it making me flinch.

“Lean forward, I wanna see everything.” He said, his voice low, full of intent. I comply, and leaning down I rest my clit on his testicles and the rubbing made me wail.

“You’re so damn sexy...I’m about to come” He says moaning louder. I feel that he's close so I rest my hand on his leg and with the other I touch my clit, I want so desperately cum with him. I squeeze around his dick to increase the stimulation while rolling my hips just enough to feel his entire length inside me. The sensation is so good and I moan so loudly that I bet they would be heard even outside the studio, but I couldn't care less, the only thing that matters is this.

“Fuck, Fuck…. I’m cumming” He cries, lifting his hips, pushing me down, squeezing my waist tightly making me feel his dick even more deeper. His voice becomes lower, breathier, each word strained as if he's barely able to hold back. His member pulsing inside my walls as he releases his hot seed inside me while my hand moving to my clit made me cum insticively.

"Oh my god!" I gasp, breathless and overwhelmed. The waves of sensation course through me, making my body tremble for a few seconds as the intensity of the moment lingers.

“I love fucking with you..You have no idea” James gasps, his breath uneven as he tries to steady himself, his body still vibrating from the intensity of the moment. He closed his eyes for a second, taking a deep breath, as he attempted to regain his composure.

As I finally catch my breath, I settle beside him, feeling the warmth of his skin against mine. We don’t need words; our bodies have already said everything we need to hear. The silence is peaceful, comforting, and I can feel the steady rhythm of his breathing next to me. He kisses my forehead gently and his hand brushes softly over my shoulder, sending a wave of calm through me. I wish I could freeze this moment, feeling so deeply grateful for everything between us. The music plays softly in the background, a peaceful melody that lulls us both. We fall asleep together, entwined, naked and safe in each other’s arms.

#james hetfield #james hetfield smut #james hetfield fanfiction #james hetfield x reader #metallica #metallica x reader #metallica fanfiction #metallica smut #fanfiction #fanfic #smut #writers on tumblr

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swee7dream · 7 months ago

Note

how would the dreamies react to their s/o regressing for the first time in front of them after being super stressed and not being able to be a little ? ^^

it’s been a long time caregiver!nct dream x gender-neutral!regressor!reader

genres sfw age regression content, established relationship, hurt / comfort, angst in some, bits of fluff in all warnings involuntary / vent regression, regression block, negative self-talk, haechan's is long sry dni if you sexualize age regression. not only blocking but also reporting.

author’s note i'm SO sorry this took so long for me to get out. i promise i didn't forget about you, nonnie! i might've geared a little bit ( a lot ) off the prompt at times but i still hope you like it ! thx 4 requesting !

mark lee (ᓀ‸ᓂ) wc 642

With all your responsibilities lately, Mark finds it logical that you don’t regress as often as you used to. The last time he remembers was over three months ago. He misses taking care of you, hearing your sweet voice call out for your 'Mack!'. But he doesn’t want to burden you even more with any expectations to do anything you weren’t feeling up to do. He wasn’t planning to bring it up. Honest.

That was until you started coming home to avoid his kisses and go straight to bed. That moment left a pang in his heart.

In the silence and tension of your apartment, Mark finds himself in your little corner of tiny things, picking up your toys and dusting off your coloring books with longing. He misses his baby, so he’s going to get his baby back, he decides, no matter what it takes.

“Oh look, that new Disney movie came out you said you wanted to go see it, right?”

“I’m tired, Mark.”

“…okay.” He bites the inside of his cheek.

Just keep trying, Mark. You got this.

“Babe, I’m doing laundry. You want me to wash Cheese Doodle?” He knocks at your office door.

“Huh?” You raise your head as if you were a fish out of water. “Uh, yeah. That’s fine. Thank you.”

Hmph.

“What is that?” You give the box in Mark’s hand a look.

“It’s a game. Picked it up at the store. It’s like… Twister? But there’s something different about it. I dunno, I didn’t pay attention to the label and just bought it. Chenle asked that we bring some kind of board game for his party on Saturday.”

“Oh. Well, I have a thing on Saturday so tell him I can’t go but I hope everyone has fun.”

As the saying goes, the fourth time’s a charm.

“You’re not going to bed?” You rub your eyes, already in your night clothes and under the sheets.

“Not really tired,” he replies with a shrug as he makes his way out into the kitchen. “I think I’m gonna make myself some angel milk to get the sleeping juices going. That always worked for you. You want some?”

You’re already pretty tired, the events of the day had sucked every last drop of potential energy from you. Still, some angel milk in all its sweet, vanilla-tasting glory makes you lick your lips.

“…yeah. Please,” you answer.

When he comes back from the kitchen, he has your warm drink in one hand and Cheese Doodle—your orange puppy stuffie—in the other.

“Sit up for me, baby,” he says softly as he sits down on the edge of the bed, not wanting to spill anything from your favorite mug.

“Unicorn…!” You notice, taking the pink and rainbow cup in your two sleeve-clad hands. “Thank you.”

“Mhm.” Mark smiles. “and I just took cheese doodle out of the laundry too. Used the fabric softener that you like. Wanna feel?”

“Oh.” In a second, you’re like a cat rubbing your cheek against Cheese Doodle’s fur. “Smells good, Markie. Thank you.”

”Of course, baby. Feeling tiny?” He asks only now that he’s 95% sure you are.

”Little bit,” you admit into your mug, slurping quietly to not burn yourself.

”Aw.” He pouts. “That’s good. You know, Markie missed you, baby. I haven’t held my baby in such a long time.”

”Missed Markie too.” You blink at him with sleepy eyes and a milk mustache. “Lot.”

”Wanna cuddle for a little then?”

”Just for a lil' bit.” You nod, placing your angel milk on the bedside table.

Mark knows the mug will be forgotten by the morning but he'd rather make and waste a million angel milks than for you to forget him and Cheese Doodle again.

huang renjun ૮ ˙Ⱉ˙ ა wc 594

“Oh that’s a nice painting, Jun,” you praise, resting your chin on his shoulder as he sits on a stool. “Very pretty.”

“I feel like it’s missing something, though,” he says with a frown. “Here. You paint something.”

“On your canvas?” You look at him. “No way, love. I’ll ruin it.”

“You won’t. Now take the brush.”

“I won’t.” You step back and cross your arms. “I’m not gonna mess up this painting you’ve been working so hard on with my clumsiness.”

“What are you talking about? You always add something to my paintings.” Renjun gives you a look. The look that makes you want to roll your eyes.

“And they’re always so much better before me.”

“You don’t think that.”

“I do.”

“Why are you talking about yourself in this way all of a sudden?”

“Because it’s true!” You explode. There’s a burning in the backs of your eyes as you keep talking. “All I’ve been doing lately is messing up stuff for other people. I’m no good, Renjun.”

“…”

“My boss thinks it, my team members think it. I know you think it too!” You sob.

“Darling-”

“Stop it, Jun.”

“Darling,” he repeats, taking your hand in his. “come here.”

He pulls you in with one hand and wipes your tears with another, so careful he almost makes you think you are glass.

“What’s in that green binder in the bookshelf over there?” he asks.

“What?” You furrow your brows. “I don’t know.”

“Go check.”

You give him a look but make your way to the oak bookshelf; filled with sketchbooks, novels, and a singular green binder. You look at Renjun when your fingers touch the spine and take it out only after he nods. Your knees wobble as you flip through the pages so you let your bottom hit the floor.

In the binder are the handwritten notes from back before the two of you even started dating; flirtatious exchanges recorded on coffee shop napkins, gum wrappers, and ripped-up bits of college notes. The next stage of your relationship is at the flip of a page; rushed post-it notes of domestic living with 'I love you!'s and 'Don't forget to eat!'s kept safe in the plastic sheets.

You look up at him with surprise but he only nods his head for you to keep flipping pages. You flip through empty slips until you almost reach the back cover and find all the drawings you’ve made for Renjun over the years while in regression. Each and every one. Even the ones where you're mad at him and have him eaten by monsters.

“You kept them…” You pass a finger over a drawing you made of the two of you, your stickmen-selves holding hands and smiling in a rocket ship.

“Of course I did, baby. How could I throw away something so perfect?” You hear his voice next to you, having gotten up from his seat to crouch next to you on the floor. He gently pulls your head into his chest and his lips drop to kiss the top of your head. “I don’t think you mess up things, my love. Ever. You simply change their direction. My Lovebug is the most creative, innovative person in the whole wide world, didn’t you know?”

“Junnie…” You sob, the dam of pent-up emotions finally seeking release.

“Hi there, babybug.” He whispers. “I’m right here, lovey. Right here. Let it all out.”

lee jeno ૮ .◜◡◝ა wc 655

“Babe, the ice is melting and your coke is turning into gross, brown, sweet-tasting water,” Jeno warns.

“One second, baby. I just need to finish this assignment real quick,” you mutter with your bottom lip bit in place.

It seems you’re still in the same clothes from three days ago, the same amount of time Jeno’s seen you stay in bed studying. He’s beginning to think your butt might be attached permanently to the mattress at this point. When it comes to your bedside table, your 5-hour energy from lunchtime being the latest addition to the food trash and empty water bottle pile doesn’t fill him with any more positive thoughts.

“When’s it for?” He sighs. “Your assignment.”

“…what?” You turn your head to him but your eyes stay on the screen. “Oh, um, Friday.”

“It’s Monday. Come on.” Jeno pulls at your arm like a spoiled child. “I’m not even making you shower or anything. I just wanna hang out with my hermit, stinky, computer nerd. Will you grant me my wish please?”

You look up with a half-offended, half-amused expression and your jaw dropped.

“I’m not stinky!” You fail to shake off your arm from his hold. “I told you I’m coming! I just really need to finish this.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Ye- ah!” You squeal as Jeno pulls at your arm, throwing you over his shoulder. “Jeno! I’m serious!”

“I’m serious too. Monday to Friday is five days-”

“Four days!”

“-and that’s more than enough time to finish your assignment.” He refuses to acknowledge your interruption. “You are going to eat a proper dinner with me on the couch as we watch TV and you’re gonna like it, you got that?”

“Augh…!” You groan, going limp on him.

“Oh, I know.” Jeno pouts as he sets you on the couch, covering you in your train-print fleece blanket. “I’m so mean, aren’t I? Asking you to take a break when all you wanna do is work, work, work.”

You just stare at him, squinting your eyes as you fail to hide a smile.

“Well unfortunately for you, gumdrop, babies don’t work! So I’m afraid I can’t let you do that. The police will come after me if I do. Child labor laws or something like that.”

He leaves a quick kiss on your forehead right before speeding to the kitchen. Jeno’s eyebrows wiggle in a wave when he returns with your food; apple slices, chicken nuggets, and fries all in their respective spots in your divided plate.

The original pasta and movie date night plan being scrapped for a Nono-Gumdrop night doesn’t phase Jeno. In fact, it excites him. Your projects and exams and assignments and professors... he tries so hard not to hold resentment against them all as they pull his baby away from him. But tonight? Tonight is different, and for once in his life, caregiver Jeno is triumphant.

“Thank you…” Your fingers wrap around the blue silicone and Jeno engulfs you in a bear hug when he sits down. Tight but not so tight it obstructs your arms when eating. “What are we watching, Nono?”

“Max and Ruby.” He smiles when you gasp.

“Love Max and Ruby!” You gush with a mouthful of apples.

“Do you?” Jeno drops his head to the side. “You do? You do? Nuh-uh. I do. It’s my favorite show in the whole wide world.”

“Well, ’s my favorite show in the whole galaxy!”

“Yeah? Well-”

You squeal, feeling ticklish when he nuzzles his stubble on your face.

“Nono, stop!” You giggle.

“Eat up, gumdrop.” He sighs, the feeling of his baby in his arms and eating a proper meal for the first time in days is an incomparable joy. “Two episodes and then it’s bathtime.”

“Ah, boo, Nono!” you whine but it turns back to giggles when he compresses you in his arms.

lee donghyuck ʕ˙Ⱉ˙‧:ʔ wc 994

“You there, Angel?”

You shake your head.

It feels strange, like your body isn’t yours, as you hold on tight to your dolls in your hands and see none of the lively sparkle in their eyes you usually do when you’re small.

“I’m broken, Hyuck,” you say with such a lack of emotions that you can’t tell if it’s actually you who is speaking. “I did everything right. I got dressed, I put on the music box, I’m trying to play for God’s sake. And nothing is working still. I feel ridiculous. A grown adult trying to act like a child.” You scoff.

“Hey, stop.” Donghyuck’s firm tone sends a shiver down your spine and you pull away. His shoulders drop when he notices; you’re scared and he’s only making it worse.

“That’s my baby you’re talking about, you know?” He tries again, with a softer tone this time. “Don’t talk about yourself like that. You are not broken.” He holds your cheek.

“I’m just so tired, Hyuck.” Tears come up and blur your vision. “Everything has been going on for so long at the exact same time and I just- I can’t anymore. I need to just step away from reality for a little bit but I can’t even do that. My brain is just locking me in here in this state of suffering for who knows how long and I have no way of getting out. Not even for an hour.” You sob.

“I know, lovely.” He wraps his arms around you, letting you in turn wrap your arms around his legs from your seat on the floor. “It’s been so much for so long. You deserve a little break. Take a deep breath. Let’s try to let go of all these grownup worries, okay? We can pick them back up later. Come on, Angel, breathe.”

Angel.

Channie called you Angel and you still don’t feel small. The realization makes for more tears to come up but you refuse to let another defeated cry leave you. The denim of his jeans is rough on your face but not rough enough to make you stop using it as a tissue for your tears.

“…okay,” you creak out. “Breathe in. Breathing in…”

“There we go.” Haechan passes a hand over your head, the sensation soothing you somewhat. “And out. one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Good job, Angel. Nice long deep breaths.”

You repeat the action several times, following his counts and pushing yourself to feel his jeans under your fingertips and smell the woodsy notes of his cologne to ground yourself.

“Everything sucks,” you say after some moments of silence. “Everything sucks. I didn’t even ask for any of this. I just want to be small,” your voice breaks.

“And you will be.” Donghyuck’s touch is gentle, encouraging you without words to look up at him. The pad of his thumb is warm when it wipes the tears from your face, brushing against your damp lashes. “You will be. I promise.”

“I don’t know what to do, Hyuck. I’m all out of ideas at this point,” you admit.

“How about just trying to feel not sucky?” He scrunches his nose, the most tender of smiles painted on his face. “How about… just drawing a picture? Just one. Doesn’t have to be with crayon or marker like when you’re feeling tiny. It can be whatever you want it to be. Don’t think about being small, just about drawing.”

“…draw what?”

“Hm… what about your dolls?”

When you unwrap yourself from his legs to look at said dolls, it gives Donghyuck the chance to go grab your art supplies. Your dolls don’t have that lively aura you see them with when you’re small but you can almost feel a sort of pity and empathy from them. It reminds you of the type of support your friends give you in their messages despite the country lines separating you.

“And I’ll draw… a car. Jeno’s been getting me into Formula One.” Donghyuck pulls you out of your thoughts when his voice is so close it makes you turn to see he’s taken a seat next to you on the floor. He opens a pencil case right in front of you two and takes a black pencil for himself to begin sketching on some paper.

“Really?” You opt a red pencil.

“Yeah. It’s pretty interesting.” He shrugs.

“But ’s so boring.” You sniffle up some snot from your lightning-fast crying session. You didn’t even cry for that long, how come you can feel your eyes swelling? So annoying. “They just go around in circles.”

“It’s not just that though. There’s—pass me the red? Oh, you have it. No, it’s okay. I can wait—there’s like a ton of beef between them. I like watching the interviews and stuff. It’s like watching basketball or football.” Haechan lets out a groan as he lays on his stomach, resting a cheek on his fist. “That’s really pretty, baby.”

“Y’like it?” You move to mirror him, turning your drawing for him to see better. “Think I’m gonna add some other stuff too.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know yet,” you admit. “Probably you. I always like drawing you. And then… your red car. You can take me and the dollies on a road trip. I like it when we have fun together.”

Affection floods out of Donghyuck, letting out an adoring ‘aw’ as he hugs you, leaving kisses on all the spots he knows won’t lead to a tickle fight.

“So cute! I always have fun with you. My Angel...” he hums into your temple.

“My Channie…” you mutter under your breath, sketching his head four times bigger than the rest.

na jaemin ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭ wc 664

“I’m okay.” You rub your nose. “Just a couple sneezes, Jaem. It’s not a big deal. I can keep studying for a little while longer.”

“You sneezed four times in a row.” Jaemin stands next to your desk chair with his arms crossed. “Do you know what that means?”

“What?” You sigh, knowing he won’t leave until you entertain him.

“You have the plague.”

“The what?”

“The plague.”

“Baby, I don’t have the-” Achoo! “the-” Achoo! “the plague…”

You move your mouse around your screen and click away at it but it doesn’t hide the reflection of Jaemin’s intense stare into your skull. He’s not amused. You spin your chair around.

“I don’t have the plague,” you repeat with a clogged nose, not even convincing yourself this time. “…I just have a little cold.”

“I wonder where you could have gotten that from, hm?” He turns you toward him by the chair’s arms and traps you by holding onto both of them and leaning in until your foreheads almost touch. “Maybe from studying a little too much? From stretching yourself too thin? Pushing yourself past your limits? Hm? Hm? hm?” He turns his head at an angle with each question, being obnoxious about his accurate statements.

“Five minutes.”

“No.”

“I just need to email this professor.”

“No.”

“I have a group project.”

“Good thing you have groupmates, huh? Come on, get off your pretty little butt.” He grabs you from under the armpits, placing your feet on the ground as if you were merely a bag of rice. “We’re playing hospital.”

“No…” you whine with dragging feet the whole time Jaemin guides you to the kitchen, his gentlemanly hand giving you no chance to run as it rests on the small of your back.

“Yes…” He pouts at you as he fills up the syringe with orange medicinal syrup. “Babies need be good and take their medicine when they are sick, okay?”

“Jaemin-” You pull your head the other way, holding his wrist away from you.

“Baby…” he sings, dodging your attempts. “Say ‘ah’, pumpkin.”

Pressing your lips tight doesn’t do anything, the plastic tip of the syringe still slipping in and filling your mouth with bitter medicine that makes a lame attempt at orange flavoring. You shake your head, still rejecting the cold syrup as it goes down, but it does regardless, chilling your throat when it does.

“Bleh!”

“Drink some water, baby.” Jaemin holds up a cup (when did he fill that up?) and you take it as if it were the key to eternal life.

“Taste so icky,” you say with your face scrunched up like a raisin. “Hate it!”

You’re sick and suffering from forced consumption of medicine. Jaemin knows this. Jaemin shouldn’t smile. But he just can’t help it! His baby is finally back after such a long, long time. he thought he was gonna die from BWS (Baby Withdrawal Symptoms).

“Aw…” His hands reach out to hold your face and squish your cheeks together. “Baby doesn’t like medicine? Babies don’t like yucky bitter things. Babies like… sweet yummy things! How about some hot chocolate, lovey-dovey?”

“Chocwate?” you ask with raised eyebrows.

“Hot chocwate.” His nose scrunches as he pinches your cheeks. “Does that sound good?”

“Yeah!” You hop free of his crab claws. “Hot chocolate! Wanna, wanna, wanna!”

“Be careful, sugarplum!” Jaemin laughs, twirling you with such ease it feels as if you were in a dance. “Why don’t you go put something on the TV while I make us the chocolate? Whatever you want, baby,” he says, but you’re already out of the kitchen and looking under blankets and cushions for the remote.

“Spongebob!” You hold it up to the ceiling like it were the sword in the stone.

“Except Spongebob. You know that shrinks your brain.”

“Aw!” You slump but quickly straighten up like a ruler. “Ah- Ah- Achoo!”

zhong chenle (ᯟ︿ᯏ) wc 622

“I’m so proud of you.” Chenle pecks your head as you hold his waist from behind. The smells coming from the stove you two stand in front of are nothing if not heavenly. “Pretty, funny, kind, graduated. How’d I bag you?”

“Mmm, I dunno.” You shrug smugly, as you look out the window. A content sigh leaves you as your eyes follow the raindrops that slide down your window. “Must’ve done something good in your past life.”

“Must have,” he hums. “Set the table for me? I’m basically almost done.”

“You got it.” You peck his cheek. “Smells delicious. Jaemin give you cooking lessons while I was gone?”

“I’ll have you know I’m a great cook. I don’t need any cooking lessons. Never have.”

“Ah…” You roll out the placemats with a sarcastic nod.

“But if I did, I would go to Donghyuck.”

“If you did, I would approve. His soups are good.”

“Mine are better.”

“…”

“Right?”

“Sure.”

The music playing from the speakers and lights in the apartment all shut off at once, not even the hum of the refrigerator sounding in the silence, the darkness. The thunder is so close it feels like footsteps. Heavy, angry footsteps coming close. Closer and closer to you.

The power comes back as soon as it left but you can’t seem to recover as fast. You don’t even remember dropping down to hold your knees, and in the dark you didn’t see how many tears came up to overflow from your eyes. Chenle calls out your name but it sounds so distant it doesn’t even register. It feels like you’re running out of oxygen like a deep sea diver falling hopelessly down to the ocean floor.

“Hey,” you take a sharp inhale at Chenle’s warm hands holding your cheeks ground you back to reality. “Hey, the power went out. Everything’s fine. You’re okay. You’re home, you’re with me. Nothing is gonna hurt you here, you hear me? You are safe.”

You almost knock Chenle over from his crouching position when you throw yourself on him, but he reads your body language just in time to catch you. His lips press into your hair, your temples, your shoulders, the softest of touches as you wail into his shirt. His heart breaks at how fragile you seem in the moment, like a porcelain doll with a chip. You sob and babble to the point that Chenle can’t understand what you’re saying. All he can catch is one word.

“Daddy…”

There’s nothing for you to do but cry, Chenle’s learned with time, so he lets you do just that. He lets you cry in his arms there on the floor and when you’re finally willing he attaches you to his hip as he walks around. He wipes your tears with a paper towel and makes sure you get a bottle of water to drink from to rehydrate.

His eyebrows furrow when you turn your head to dodge his spoon, rejecting the meal you were so looking forward to less than twenty minutes ago. This meal which was meant to be a celebration of not just the end of your education but of all your life up to this point. Of your growth, your endurance; of all the stress you put yourself through to come out victorious in the end.

You’re still victorious, he thinks. Even now as you fill up the apartment with tears, he’s so proud of you. His partner, his baby, the strongest person he’s ever met.

“Come on, dollface. Just one spoonful, yeah? Need you to eat,” he tries again.

park jisung (∩˃o˂∩) wc 668

“What’s that giant box?”

“What giant box?” He looks at you on the couch. “...I thought you were napping.”

“I woke up. What’s with that giant box you’re pushing into our house?”

“Oh, this?” Jisung looks down. “It's… a box.”

You blink, irritation in your tight-lipped smile at your boyfriend’s lack of cooperation.

“I know it’s a box, Ji. I'm asking what’s inside the box?”

“Box… stuff…”

“Jisung!”

“That’s not my name!” He whines as he shuts the front door. “My name to you is Ji! Or Baby! Not Jisung! It’s so scary when you call me that...” He sighs. “It was supposed to come before you started your vacation time, while you were at work.”

“Why?” Your eyebrows come together into a questioning frown.

“Because- just- you’ll see soon. Pass me the scissors? Thanks.” He pecks your lips, taking the scissors from your hands and pushing your back away with little force. “Now go. Get! Your surprise will be ready in a minute. Go… brush your dolls’ hair or something. It’ll be super quick.”

“Doll hairs? is it a Little gift?”

“Shoot.” Jisung bites his fist. “...can you just go in the bedroom already? It’s not a Little gift. It’s not.”

The instructions that came in the box of the not-Little gift said construction would only take thirty minutes. Not to fear, with super handyman Park Jisung to the rescue it only took three hours and two people.

“We’re done!” You clap, looking in awe at your brand new play kitchen, pink and wooden and creaky and yours. “Jiji, finish!”

“Yeah.” He sits back on the floor, wiping the sweat from his brow. “We’re finished. D’you like it?”

“It’s so pretty, jiji!” You beam, hugging his head and squeezing the brains out of him.

“I’m glad you like it, bub.” He nods at his work in approval. “You deserve it. Worked so hard recently.”

“Thankie!” You get up quickly, running barefoot into the bedroom to come back with a box of play food in all colors and sizes.

“Make you a lenonade, bubby!” You begin adding ice to a cup and add a lemon to it. “Ice cold lenonade.”

“Oh, I love your lenonade. Thanks, baby.” He takes the cup, making gulping noises and finishing it off with a loud and satisfied ‘ah!’. “Actually, are we playing restaurant right now?”

“Um… yeah!” you decide. “Welcome to my rest’rant! What would you like to order?”

“I would kill for a good burger.” Jisung pats his stomach like a starved man. “I hear you guys have some good ones, is that true?”

“The truest!” You smile. “One burger, comin’ up!”

You turn back to your kitchen and hum to yourself as you place a burger patty on the stove.

“No pans for that?”

“No pans!” You shake your head. “Special burger.”

“Ah, must be.” He mutters behind you.

When it comes to building time, Jisung acts like a to-be-blacklisted customer.

“Could I have no onions in my burger? I’m allergic.”

“No, you’re not.”

“It’s just play pretend, honey.”

“Oh. Then, yes you can, sir! No onions.”

“And no tomatoes please. I don’t like how the seeds get stuck between my teeth.”

“No tomatoes!”

“And could you cut the cheese? It kind of sends me to the bathroom.”

“Ew… okay, no cheese, either!” You toss the slice of play cheese to the side.

“…could you also remove the meat? I’m vegetarian.”

That’s the final straw. No meat? You look down at his ‘burger’: bread, lettuce, bread.

“This is what you want?” You turn to show him his order.

“Oh yes.” He smiles, clasping his hands together in anticipation. “That’s my burger! So tasty. Thank you, shop owner.”

“You’re welcome…” You give him a look. “Ketchup?”

“No thanks.”

“Mayo?”

“Bleh! Pass.”

“…barbeque sauce?”

“Oh, that’s my favorite! Lettuce and barbeque sauce burger, my favorite.” He licks his lips.

“Jiji, ew!” you whine.

tag list ( ask / comment to join ! ) @mystarsohee @cupofwyn @iwontlettheselittlethingsslip @aeriaeri

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bloody-peach · 7 months ago

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Penny for Your Sins: A BNHA League Of Villains x F!Reader series - Shigaraki

~~~♡♡♡~~~

Goodie Bag: bondage, groping, vaginal fingering, drugging (aphrodisiac), nipple teasing, oral sex (m receiving), dom Shiggy, dirty talk, masturbation, vaginal sex, creampie, hair tugging, deepthroating, cum swallowing, he has his thumb on your tongue at one point, corruption [let me know if i miss anything!]

Now Playing: Closer by Nine Inch Nails, Lesser Key by Pale Horse, Eat Me Drink Me by Marilyn Manson,

Chapters (not in any order, except intro/outro):

START: Intro

• Shigaraki (you are here)

• Dabi

• Twice

• Mr. Compress

• Spinner

• Toga

END: Outro

A/N: No notes. Just enjoy!

~~~♡♡♡~~~

You looked at the calendar and saw it had been a few weeks since you got the ‘job’ of being the League of Villains’ stress reliever. Luckily, you’ve been following everyone’s orders when made and been doing a good job comforting everyone. You wondered when you’d meet their leader...

One night, you were in bed reading a book when you heard something rustling. You walked over and saw that someone slipped an envelope under the door. You got up and walked over to the door, bent down and grabbed the envelope, opening it. Inside was a single tea bag and a note. 'Drink me,' the note read. You smelled the tea bag and could smell peppermint and lavender. It smelled so good, you immediately got your hot water dispenser out and prepared the tea. Once the tea was finished brewing, you got a cup and poured some inside. You took a sip and smiled, loving the taste. You walked back to bed and got back to reading, sipping the tea occasionally. Not long after you finished your drink, you noticed that something was off... Tea wasn’t supposed to make you this relaxed and dizzy, was it? The words on the page were starting to swirl and warp as you tried to keep reading, but the effects were too strong. You wondered if someone spiked the tea bag before you fell back on the bed, blacking out.

You start to wake up, your body still feeling relaxed and warm, but you could feel you weren’t in your bed anymore. You felt your arms held up in the air, something cold and hard wrapping around your wrists, and your feet barely touching the floor. You opened your eyes and you saw you were chained by your wrists, dangling from the ceiling. You looked at yourself and noticed you only had your panties and bra on. “W..what...what’s going on..?” you asked, your speech slightly slurred. You saw something from the corner of your eye and turned your head. There was someone sitting in an armchair, hidden in the shadows. You heard them chuckle as they stood up and came out from the shade. It was a man, with white hair and piercing red eyes. You noticed he was much taller than you and he had a fit, muscular body, your blush growing as you look at him. He smirked, enjoying your gaze. “My, my.. You’re a real pretty thing, aren’t you?” he finally said, his voice a bit raspy.

“Who are you...?” you asked. He smiled and responded as he walked to stand in front of you, “Who am I? I’m Shigaraki Tomura, I’m in charge of the League. And you are our new plaything.” He bent forward, his face close to yours as he said, “Consider yourself lucky you caught our attention.” You were still a bit woozy from the tea, but you asked, “W..Why me?” He gently grabbed your jaw with his hand and he said in a voice laced with desire, “Why you? Oh, it’s quite simple. You see, I have a love for chaos and destruction, and what better way to indulge myself then by taking someone like you captive? Destroying your world by ripping you out of it was a great pleasure. Sure, the League needs some way to vent our frustrations, but...I’ve been craving something more... Oh yes, especially from you... Your beauty, your vulnerability, your surrender...It’s an exhilirating combination that I long for..” He let go of your jaw and he said as he walked behind you, “But don’t you worry.. I have no plan to harm you, and I won’t let anyone else do so.” He gently gripped your sides and leaned into your neck, his hot breath brushing along your skin, making you blush and gasp softly due to your body’s sensitivity. “Besides...I think you’ll enjoy yourself here...You’d be surprised what can be found in places like this.”

You gulped, unsure how to feel exactly, but there was one thing you knew. “Well....if I’m gonna be staying here for a while...I should tell you my name...My name is Y/N.” “Y/N... What a lovely name. Fits you perfectly.” His hands then slid up to your covered breasts, his hands groping each one, the size of his hands engulfing them. “Now, Y/N, let’s have a little fun, shall we? After all, you’re here to entertain me tonight..” He started to massage your breasts as his body pressed against your back. You could feel something hard pressing against your ass, making your body grow warmer. He kissed your neck and shoulder, the sensation causing shivers down your spine. Your head was still swimming, and everything Tomura was doing felt so good...

He leaned to your ear and whispered, “Tell me, Y/N... Do you enjoy pain..? Does the idea of me leaving marks on you make you tremble..?” “N..No...I’m..not a fan of pain...I..If I could choose between pleasure and pain...I..I’d choose pleasure..” You heard him chuckle then respond, “Is that so..? Then you’ll receive that in abundance..” He undid your bra then let the garment fall to the floor. Once that was off, he put one hand back on your breast, teasing your nipple as he massaged it. The sensation made you gasp softly, which made Tomura smile deviously. His other hand slid down your side and teased the band of your panties. “Now tell me this, Y/N...Have you ever been touched intimately before..?” “Well...not in this position, at least..” His lips trailed your neck again as he said softly, “Well, Y/N, this is your lucky day. I’m going to show you how pleasurable it is when my hands explore your body..Would you like that, Y/N?” His offer was so tempting, you only had one answer. “Yes...” He smiled, saying, “Good girl. Just relax and let me take care of everything..”

He then slowly trailed his fingers under your panties and down to your pussy. He started to gently caress your clit as he kissed and licked your neck. The pleasure was like a firework shooting through your body, causing you to moan and making you crave more. Tomura whispered, “Does that feel good, Y/N?” As you moaned, you said, “Y..Yeah...” “That’s it, Y/N. Embrace the feeling..let yourself be consumed by it.” He started to pinch and tug at your nipple as he kept rubbing your pussy. Thanks to the effects of the tea, you couldn’t really resist anything he was doing, and in all honesty, you didn’t want to. It all just felt too good... Tomura noticed your surrender and smiled as he whispered in your ear, his voice dripping with lust, “I want to hear you moan more for me, Y/N..Let the pleasure escape your lips..” With that, he slowly slid a finger inside you and started to pump at a slow yet steady pace. The pleasure was too much, and you started to moan louder. Soon, you wanted more pleasure, so you started to gently buck your hips. Tomura let out a deep chuckle from his throat and said, “Oh, eager, aren’t you? Such a keen and responsive little plaything you are, Y/N...” You found your head turned, facing Tomura. Your lips were so close to his and you wanted to kiss him so bad, it was almost torture. You couldn’t take it anymore and you leaned your head a bit forward and kissed him.

It was a surprise to Tomura, but he quickly kissed you back. He savored the taste of your desire on his lips, his touch becoming rougher in response to the growing intensity between you. The sounds of your moans mixed with this own, building and consuming you both. Breaking the kiss momentarily, he whispered huskily against your lips, “You’re a bold one, Y/N. But be careful...I can’t promise to be gentle with you.” With that, he kissed you again and slid two more fingers inside you, making your eyes turn wide as he curled his fingers inside you, his movements becoming rougher and more demanding, pushing you closer to the edge. It’s not too long before you cum hard, moaning in his mouth. Tomura groaned into the kiss, feeling your climax wash over you through his fingers. He eagerly swallowed your moans, grinning to himself as he does. As your release subsided, he pulled away from the kiss, a satisfied smile playing on his lips. His fingers still buried inside you, he continued to gently move them, prolonging the pleasure as he watched you recover from your intense orgasm. “Doesn't that feel good, Y/N?” he murmured, his voice filled with seduction. “But we’re far from done here. I have so much more in store for you.”

He pulled his fingers out of you and licked up the juices dripping from them, savoring the taste of you. With a wicked glimmer in his eyes, he leaned in to capture your lips once again. You could taste yourself in the kiss, the sweetness coating your tongue. You watch as he removed his clothes, then he undid your chain, making you fall to the ground. He picked you up so you were on your knees. You see his hard and throbbing cock in front of you, already starting to drip pre-cum down the shaft. You could feel your mouth water as you kept staring at it, feeling your inner core tighten as you wondered how it’d feel stuffed inside your holes. You looked up at him, wordlessly asking for permission to please him. Tomura’s eyes darkened with raw desire as he saw your hunger. He reached out, his fingers running through your hair as he pets your head, his touch possessive and commanding. “You want me, don’t you, Y/N?” he asked, his voice husky with anticipation. “I can see it in your eyes. Go ahead.” His hand tightened in your hair, applying enough pressure to assert his dominance. You may have been pleasuring him, but he was still in control. With a firm grip, he guided your head closer to his hardened cock, wordlessly granting your unspoken request. “Now, show me just how good you can be.”

You gently held his cock and you started to lick up the shaft and swirled your tongue around the head, moaning as you did. Soon, you let it slide into your mouth and you started to suck on it as you bobbed your head. Tomura grunted in pleasure as you took his cock in your mouth, the wet warmth sending waves of pleasure through his body. He watched you with a predatory gaze, relishing in the sight of your lips wrapped around him. “Such a good little cock-sucker, Y/N,” he groaned, his voice filled with desire. His hand remained firmly gripping your hair, guiding your movements as you bobbed your head, taking more of him into your mouth. As you continued to suck and tease him, Tomura couldn’t help but let out a series of low moans, the pleasure building steadily. His hips involuntarily bucked, seeking more contact with the wet heat between your lips. “Deeper,” he growled, his grip on your hair tightening. “Take all of it, Y/N. Show me how much you crave it.”

You did as he said and took more of his cock deeper into your mouth. Eventually, you were able to take his entire length and suck on it, letting your tongue rub against any sensitive spots. Tomura hissed in pleasure, feeling the tightness of your throat as you took his entire length. He watched you with a mix of admiration and dominance, his grip on your hair guiding your movements. “That’s it, Y/N,” he groaned. “You’re doing such a good job. Keep sucking, don’t stop.” He bucked his hips gently, setting a rhythm that matched the movements of your mouth. Your tongue worked wonders against his sensitive flesh, adding to the overwhelming pleasure. With every suck and every flick of your tongue, Tomura’s moans grew louder, his body tensing with the growing desire for release. He could feel himself reaching his edge, his breathing becoming ragged. “Keep going, Y/N,” he gasped, his voice strained. “I’m close...Do you want me to cum in your mouth? Show me how badly you want it.”

You put your hand on the back of his thigh to keep his cock in your mouth and you gently fondled his balls, encouraging them to let him cum in your mouth. Tomura’s breath hitched as he felt that, adding an extra layer of stimulation to his throbbing cock. The pressure and the pleasure building within him intensified, and he could feel his orgasm approaching rapidly. His grip on your hair tightened further as he looked down at you with a fierce desire, his eyes burning with intensity. “Yes, Y/N,” he growled. “Drain me. Take every drop.” With a final thrust of his hips, Tomura couldn’t hold back any longer. A gutteral moan escaped his lips as he released his hot cum into your mouth. He watched intently as you took every drop, savoring the sight of your submission and the pleasure you brought him. “You certainly know how to please, Y/N,” he said, his voice filled with lust. “But this is only the beginning. There’s so much more I have planned for us.”

As his orgasm subsided, he gently pulled you away, a satisfied smirk on his lips. When he pulled out of your mouth, you licked up every visible drop of his cum, even going so far as to lick up the drops that fell onto the hard floor. Tomura watched with a mixture of fascination and lust as you obediently licked up every visible drop of his cum. The intensity of your submission and addiction thrilled him, fueling his desire for further exploration. “You’re quite the eager little slut, aren’t you, Y/N?” he said, his voice filled with a dark amusement. “But there’s no need to waste a drop. You’re so devoted, so desperate for my pleasure.” His words, laced with dominance, sent a shiver down your spine as his hand gently cupped your cheek. His thumb brushed against your lips, coated with the remnants of his release. He pushed his thumb inside, pressing it onto your tongue, to see your reaction. When you start to pant and gently massage his thumb with your tongue, he smirked devilishly. Tomura knelt down and leaned in, his eyes dark with desire as he observed the remnants of his release still lingering on your tongue. A low chuckle rumbled in his chest as he felt the wet warmth of your tongue sliding along his thumb. He held it there for a moment, savoring the sensation before slowly pulling it out, a predatory glint in his eyes. “You’re so obedient, Y/N,” he murmured, his voice thick with satisfaction. “Such a good little pet. I think we’re going to enjoy each other’s company very much.”

He leaned in to you, his mouth close to your ear. “Now, Y/N, I want you to touch yourself for me. Show me how much pleasure you can endure,” he whispered, his voice dripping with promises of even more intense experiences to come. He stood up, his gaze locked onto yours, filled with anticipation. You nodded and you sat on the floor. You started to rub your pussy, his gaze never leaving you. You moaned as you rubbed your clit and slid your fingers inside you. You pumped your fingers inside you at a steady pace as your hips matched the tempo of your fingers. Tomura’s eyes were fixated on your intimate display, a hunger evident in his gaze. He leaned back against the wall, his cock fully erect again and throbbing with arousal. The sight of you pleasuring yourself ignited a primal desire within him. He watched intently as your fingers expertly worked your pussy, your moans filling the room. The sound of your pleasure only fueled his own, and he couldn’t resist the urge to stroke his cock in response. “All those lovely sounds you make, Y/N,” he said, his voice filled with a dark desire. “You’re a sight to behold, giving in to your own desires. But remember, the true pleasure comes from me.”

He stroked his cock with long, slow motions, matching the rhythm of your hand. The anticipation of joining you, of bringing you to even greater heights of pleasure, pulsed through his veins. “Keep going, my little whore,” he murmured. “Bring yourself to the edge. I want to see you unravel, to hear you scream my name.” You moaned and slid more fingers inside, watching Tomura jack off making you even more aroused. You couldn’t help but moan out, “Ahh..yes... Ohh...Tomura... Please... I.. I need you so bad... I need you to fuck me.. Tomura, please fuck me as much as you want... I don’t care... I..I want you to fill me with your cum... Please..!” Tomura’s eyes glinted with a mixture of satisfaction and hunger as he heard your desperate pleas. The intensity of your desire matched his own, driving him to fulfill your carnal cravings. Without hesitation, he closed the distance between you in a swift motion, kneeling on the floor in front of you. His hands firmly grasped your hips, pulling you closer to him. The head of his cock pressed against your entrance, teasingly rubbing your wet folds. He leaned in close, his lips grazing your ear as he whispered in a low, seductive tone, “Oh, Y/N, you’re so eager, so ready to be filled. I’ll give you what you want, but remember, I’ll take you as roughly as I please.”

With a powerful thrust, he impaled you on his cock, filling you completely. The sensation of his hardness inside you sent electric shocks of pleasure through your body. His grip tightened on your hips as he began to move, setting a relentless pace. With every thrust, Tomura’s groans mingled with yours, creating a symphony of raw desire. His hips met yours with an unyielding force, the sound of skin slapping against skin and the orchestra of your moans filling the room. He provided the pleasure you craved, taking you to new heights of ecstasy. “Goddamn, Y/N,” he grunted, his voice strained as he bit his lower lip. “You’re so tight, so fucking wet. We’re just getting started. I'm going to take you over and over, until you can’t even think straight.” You moaned loud and threw your head back in pleasure. Oh god, it felt so much better than you could’ve ever imagined. A smile grew on your face as the pleasure surged through your body. “Ahh..! Yes..! Use me..! Break me..!”

Tomura’s eyes burned with a primal hunger as he watched you surrender to the pleasure coursing through you. He could feel the raw intensity of your desire, matching his own in ferocity. He gripped your hips tightly, anchoring himself as he continued to thrust into you with unrelenting force. Each movement was filled with dominance, his cock delving within you, hitting every sensitive area. “You want to be used, Y/N?” he growled, his voice laced with the darkest satisfaction. “I’ll give you everything you crave. Every ounce of pleasure. Every moment of ecstasy. You’re mine to break, to ravish, to mark as mine.” As his pace quickened, the sound of your moans and the slap of skin echoed through the room, a symphony of desire. Tomura reveled in the power he held over you, the primal satisfaction that came from claiming you as his. “Let go, Y/N,” he urged, his voice strained and desperate. “Cum for me. Give in to the pleasure. Surrender yourself completely.”

It wasn’t too long until you were able to fulfill his wish, cumming hard on his cock and giving in to the pleasure, your mind swimming in the purest of bliss. Tomura’s eyes burned with satisfaction as he felt your walls clench around him, your release washing over you. The tightness and pulsing sensation intensified his own pleasure, pushing him closer to the edge. He continued to thrust into you, riding out your orgasm, the friction and heat between you both driving him towards his own climax. With a final, desperate thrust, he let out a primal groan as his own release tore through him, spilling his hot cum deep inside you. As he rode out the waves of pleasure, he looked into your eyes, his gaze filled with a mixture of possessiveness and satisfaction. He leaned in close, his voice a low rasp against your ear. “You’re mine now, Y/N,” he whispered, his voice filled with a possessive edge. “You belong to me. And I’ll keep using you, breaking you, until there’s nothing left.” With that final declaration, he pressed his lips against yours in a possessive kiss, claiming you as his own.

He lifted you into his arms and carried you to the bed, laying you in it before entering it himself, the room filled with the scent of sex and the sounds of your heavy breathing, as you both basked in the aftermath of your intense encounter. You had a look of pure bliss on your face as you laid there, unable to move. “Yes...I’m yours...I belong to you...” you softly said. Tomura’s dark satisfaction morphed into something softer as he observed the pleasured look on your face. ‘God, she’s so precious,’ he thought to himself. He held you close, his touch now gentle, his voice filled with a mix of tenderness and possessiveness. “Yes, Y/N,” he murmured, his voice a low rumble. “You belong to me, body and soul. I’ll protect you, I’ll ravish you, and I’ll cherish you in my own twisted way. You’re mine, and I’ll make sure you never forget it.” With those words, he gently caressed your cheek, his touch a stark contrast to the intensity of your recent encounter. The room remained cloaked in a hazy cloud of desire and peace as both of you savored the bond that had been formed, knowing that both pleasure and darkness awaited you in the future.

~~~♡♡♡~~~

#fanfiction #bnha league of villains #bnha #mha #shigaraki tomura #tomura shigaraki #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki x y/n #shigaraki x you #mha shigaraki #bnha shigaraki #my hero academia #boku no hero fic #boku no hero smut #bnha smut #mha smut #my hero fanfic

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underdark-dreams · 2 months ago

Note

Are you going to finish the Birds and the Bees fic anytime soon? 🥺

Hello anon!! 🖤 Thank you for expressing interest in that fic, first of all! I sat down to answer you and accidentally went off on a vent session tangent. But I have a few other asks about this, so I thought I should post anyway.

I’m really sorry that I haven’t finished Birds & Bees yet! I promise I haven’t abandoned it. I still have a lot of chapter 3 drafted up, and I revisit it often. I didn’t expect this many people to subscribe or follow it, and as a result went into it 100% pantsing with zero outline. (Learn from my mistakes!!) Basically, something about the last chapter just feels off. I get this itchy feeling like I wrote myself into a corner. I’ve never felt this way while working on my other fics, and it’s shaken my confidence in my instincts quite a lot, which just makes things harder. (And yes this is a WILDLY over-dramatic way to talk about a smut fic)

Anyway…that’s kind of where I’m at with it, I suppose. I’m afraid I don’t have a timeline for when I’ll post the last chapter. I wish I did. Should I just publish what I have to get it out the door? I don’t know. I’ve considered it. But I also really don’t want to disappoint people or put out something I don’t like. It’s hard to figure out what to do, but I want to give myself a bit more time. I’m sorry that that’s the answer I came up with! I hope you understand! 🖤

On a related note...you guys. Christ almighty. Work has destroyed my health this year. My department has been short since June, I’m working overtime every week with zero support from management, I feel so so drained not just creatively but emotionally and mentally. I take insomnia meds for the first time in my life because the anxiety keeps waking me up. 🙁 I’m looking hard for a new position, but it’s very much an employer’s market in my part of the US right now. Opening rejection emails at the end of the day is just an extra dose of discouragement. Writing should be easy, but unfortunately everything feels hard right now. I don't know if that makes sense.

But that’s part of why I love coming on here and seeing all the BG3 fandom joy and creativity! I know I’m not posting as regularly right now, but I hope you know that I still browse every day and read all your fics and look at your art and love it all. This fandom remains a lasting source of happiness and inspiration for me, and that’s not going away any time soon!

#underdark-dreams asks #i'm sorry for this non-answer!#i hate to keep people waiting #but i wanted to be as open as possible about where i'm at in the process #i don't post personal things too often #but whoo boy #this year has been shit #forgive the vent!

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justmejpg · 1 month ago

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Older lesbians, I need your guidance in how to handle this😞🙏

Wuh Luh Wuh / wlw rant

WLW SITUATIONSHIPS I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOODDDDDD

Context:

I have this friend, let’s call her Cherry. We’ve been friends since 6th grade—years of friendship. We were each other’s only friends (like literally everyone else ignored us in the school, so whole support system as well) when our larger friend group (8 other girls) dropped us. They claimed we were “too close.” Ironically, one of those girls (strawberry, I’m gonna rant about her in a different post) was a situationship of mine, even though she identified as “straight.” (Strawberry? She’s a lesbian now and said I was her “gay awakening”)

Cherry is into both girls and guys, while I’m only into girls. Cherry and I flirt daily, but she insists it’s “just friends.” For context, I’ve had casual lesbian friendships before—kissing and playful flirting were no big deal—but this isn’t that. Cherry flirts, listens to me, and even gets jealous when I talk to other girls or when I sent another girl nudes. But again, she swears up and down, side to fuckin side that it’s nothing more than friendship.

She’s jealous even when I casually talk to people—guys included. That’s right, just talking to people, NOT EVEN FLIRTING. For example, when I was trying (and failing) to be into a guy (internalized homophobia sucks, I was still accepting myself😞), I mentioned I thought he was cute. She ignored me for the rest of the day?!

I’ve tried to address this with her multiple times. I’ve texted, tried talking in person, and even openly admitted I’d be willing to try a relationship with her. She refuses to engage. How am I supposed to figure “us” out if she won’t even acknowledge the situation?

We’re completely dependent on each other, and I’ve realized how toxic that is, but she won’t admit it or discuss it. She’ll say things like, “You’re my soulmate” and then quickly add, “Platonically, of course.” Yet, she never shares anything serious about herself, leaving me feeling like I barely know her.

It’s exhausting. I’m walking on eggshells to avoid making her jealous, trying to keep her happy, giving her affection, and essentially acting like her stand-in girlfriend—but with no title or clarity. She’ll randomly ignore me or vent about her family (the most I know is that BPD runs in her family, and she’s scared of becoming like her mom, and like, that could add into why she’s like this?!).

I’ve asked her directly: Is this just a casual friendship? A talking stage? A relationship? Shit, am I just the bitch she keeps in the back corner? She won’t give me an answer, she WONT TALK ABOUT IT.

I’m done wasting time on some girls who’s not mine, and won’t FUCKING commit, especially when I could be out dating, meeting people, and having real experiences. Instead, I’m stuck in this limbo with Cherry, who clearly doesn’t want to define or deepen what we have.

What do I do? I wanna just drop her honestly, because it’s so draining, I’m so done.

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tsbs-darksun-confessions · 5 months ago

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🌤️ Why hello there everyone, welcome 🌤️

Yes, I know it’s surprising to see me here, I wouldn’t have done this initially, but I saw both Nexus and Ruin laughing in their corners over this

Decided there was no harm in trying it myself

There’s one mod, their pronouns are he/they if you want to talk to him specifically, just ask for J

Unless stated otherwise, the art credit goes to J’s friend, Z

—

A few rules you should all know of:

1. I’m not above speaking out loud on what I believe, so share your thoughts with the knowledge that I may answer with my own (including removing anything I find unsavory enough)

2. Do not attempt to harass or name drop or even start hate campaigns, I won’t even bother to acknowledge you

3. Treat others as you want to be treated, don’t like? don’t look- simple really, keep scrolling or block me, I do not care

4. You’re more than welcome to talk about heavy/mature topics, I’ll be trying my best to tag them properly, any minors I find interacting with such posts will be blocked

5. Similar to point 4, you can talk about ship hate or vent out frustrations and such, filtering opinions would go against the principle of a confession blog (legit the only exceptions would be outright bigotry/racist/sexist/homophobic crap-)

—

Others like me that I know well enough,I suppose:

Sun, Moon, Lunar, Earth, Solar, Eclipse, Nexus, Ruin, ….Hatsune Miku?, Flare, Puppet, Foxy, Fc, Killcode, oh goodie Bloodmoon, Little Red, Sunlo.

If you want the associated collective, visit The Computer.

—

Tags:

#foolish rambles: your confessions

#my answers: my thoughts/answers

#that’s a thing?: ship talk

#children be gone: mature/18+ confessions/talks

#my optics are off: hate confessions/neg talk

#mod talks: answers/posts by the mod, J, and NOT me

Lore Archive:

#sun and moon show #sams #lunar and earth show #laes #earth and lunar show #eals #monty and foxy show #mafs #mgafs #monty gator and foxy show #eclipse and puppet show #eaps #the security breach show #tsbs #confessions blog #I will answer asks in character #when i feel like it :)#pinned post #tsbs confessionverse

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mischiefmaker615 · 2 years ago

Text

To Better Use

Rating: R

Summary: Captured, you now find yourself doing anything to protect your comrades.

You claw at Baron’s wrist as he keeps a firm hand over your mouth while his other holds tight to your wrist pinned behind your back. Your struggling lessened the more you were sure he would break your arm whenever he yanked upon feeling you jerk. Of course you made yourself feel better by telling yourself you merely held back during your capture, he was your friend after all.. was. ‘’she managed to find our location sir, but we’re sure her capture took place before she had the chance to send out a signal.’’ Clint reported as your eyes lift up and widen to find Loki turning towards the both of you with an unreadable look on his face. Or at least, for a moment before what you could read was triumph and hunger as his eyes scanned over your body. Your SHIELD uniform did a good job hugging your figure, something you wished wasn’t existent right now as your struggles began again when he stalked towards you. You had indeed kept the chase up on your own after headquarters sunk into the ground when Loki escaped, and without working equipment, couldn’t risk staying behind with the rest and lose sight of them. Of course, a million of different results popped up in your head on how you could have gone about this differently so you didn’t find yourself before Loki now being held tightly by the friend you used to know and work with. ‘’using your natural blue orbs to blend in with the rest was indeed intelligent on your part, but coming alone was the most foolish thing you could have done.’’ Loki chuckled and flashed his eyes at Barton who understood and uncovered your mouth by relocating his arm across your throat in a hold but didn’t choke you. Taking a deep breath once your airway worked properly again, you dug your nails into Clint’s arm while your eyes glared back at Loki. ‘’you didn’t look much like a threat so I decided to take my chances.’’ You replied with sarcasm dripping in your voice as he merely smirked and placed a finger under your chin, his thumb stroking your skin as he admired your eyes. ‘’Don’t test me Y/N, I can make your life a living hell if I want to.’’ Loki replied, his voice rather calm as his eyes scanned you once more as he seemed to be thinking before his eyes switched to Clint. ‘’take her to the chamber, I shall deal with her myself.’’ Your body tensed at his words but kept your expression almost unreadable as Loki gave you one last smirk before he moved past you to the other fellow agents following under his orders. Before you could question anything, Clint moved forward, pushing his legs and chest against you so it moved you forward with his grip never faltering under your harsh nails you were sure was making him bleed. Dragging you down a few halls and around a handful of corners, he finally released you after shoving you into an extremely small and dimly lit room; with the only thing accompanying the lamp, was a bed. Spinning on your heel to face him, Clint slammed the door shut behind him before you could even try to talk him out of.. whatever spell Loki had him under. This was bad, very bad.. Your eyes scanned for a door other than the one you just came from- a window, a vent perhaps? Nothing.. the only thing you did have currently was the fight to survive and a million things going through your head; first one being, why were you still alive or mind controlled.. Your thoughts didn’t have much time for answers before the door was opened to reveal Loki who wasted no time shutting it behind him and his body noticeably relaxed itself. Trying to take over the world had its stressful moments probably.. “I’m surprised you didn’t try the door darling.’’ Loki smirked as he opened his eyes and turned to face you with a hand going directly to lock the door behind him. ‘’..it was unlocked?’’ you asked, a little surprised honestly as he smirked and took a step towards you in which you offered a step back. ‘’as soon as he left, unless you thought trying the door would be to obvious?’’ he smirked, his hands placed behind his back as if he were observing an unearthly creature. Your eyes flashed him a glare and your posture offered a position where you would try to defend yourself if he tried anything. ‘’did you just come here to make me feel stupid or are you just going to kill me now?’’ you snapped. Loki’s expression softened as he cocked his head to the side in curiosity ‘’kill a fine creature like you? Now wouldn’t that be a great waste of flesh.’’ He chuckled and proceeded to move forward. Your eyes side eyed him as you backed away, your body somehow forgetting your combat skills as you pressed yourself up against the wall before he found himself standing before you. You flinched when he raised his hands but he didn’t hit you, but merely rested his hands against the wall on either side of you, making your blue orbs move to his own questionably. ‘’Afraid I will try to pull something... ungentlemanly? Scandalous perhaps?" he seemed to mock and you gave a slight glare. ‘’why else would you be in my personal space..’’ ‘’you’ve come onto my hideaway, this is all my personal space darling.’’ He smirked and used a finger under your chin to keep you looking at him when you began to look away. Somehow, his gaze seemed to almost make you weak in the knees but.. he didn’t need to know that. ‘’this is not your planet.’’ ‘’ah, so an ambassador i have here’’ he chuckled. ‘’what do you want?’’ you demanded. ‘’oh darling, you know what I want.’’ He smirked. ‘’don’t think I didn’t notice you hiding upon my first arrival to earth. What amazes me the most is how you apparently survived my mild purge. I take it you are grateful he managed to survive.’’ The last part was laced with annoyance in his voice but your look of surprise changed his features. ‘’oh, didn’t stick around long enough to find out? So eager to keep up with me?’’ he smirked and your eyes widened in denial and confusion with your body suddenly feeling small before him. ‘’you.. you knew I was following you?’’ ‘’for quite some time darling, I just thought you’d arrive aster than you had, but I suppose your attempts to blend in took some time before my men finally picked you out.’’ He chuckled. ‘’w-why did you let me follow you?..’’ His chin tilted up slightly with his eyes glued to yours, the silence getting thick as he contemplated a moment before he simply grinned. ‘’It gets awfully lonely in almost an eternity of seclusion.. and a ravishing creature such as yourself needs to be shown the correct way of how to serve and not for these weak mortals..’’ Your back couldn’t have sunk farther into the wall by his words, nor could your eyes have gotten any wider as you came to the realization of what he meant. ‘’..don’t think for one second that I’d ever-‘’ Your words turned into a yelp when he snatched your jaw in his hand and tilted your head up, looking over your face with a mild-serious expression as if inspecting something. Your hands gripped his wrist, a move foolish on your part where he then noticed your trembling and he merely chuckled, eyes softened. ‘’you are shaking way to early darling, but do not fear. Behave and I shall be gentle with you.’’ He said softly and his hand switched to your hair, making you wince and your hands moved to his wrist once more. Once the thought of kicking him struck your mind, he had already shoved you down onto your knees before him, causing you to yelp. ‘’ah ah ah darling, I wouldn’t dare if I were you or I’ll go back on my promise n being gentle. You wouldn’t want your precious comrades getting hurt either would you?’’ he smirked and you glared up at him when he released your hair. ‘’now darling, I will give you a choice. You do it or I will.’’ The last part was a warning tone, somehow making a threat sounding sexy as you glanced in front of you with something catching your eye. His growing erection. Your eyes flashed up at him as he took a seat behind him on the bed, manspreading as you began feeling your limbs ach and shake. Why the hell did you come here alone.. why the hell in another life perhaps you could see yourself wanting this.. why the hell.. ‘’.. I’d rather be mind controlled then do it willingly.’’ You snapped and he merely chuckled as if you told a joke. ‘’you clearly don’t care about the well being of your fellow comrades do you? You saw- what? Dozens out there all under my control and you are telling me you’d carelessly sacrifice all of them all because you don’t wish to take it upon yourself to pleasure your king?’’ ‘’your no kin-‘’ ‘’ill start with Baron first. And I’ll be sure you watch. Every single drop of blood fall as a make his suffering last.’’ Loki said casually, his voice a sigh as if he had no choice but to do the simple chore and that’s what made you stop him. Clearly he showed no emotion or care in killing others, even when he first arrived he didn’t even hesitate.. there was no bluff. He would do it. ignoring the sick feeling in your stomach, you avoided his gaze and eyed his groin, crawling over to him in which you saw his erection twitch by the mere act in doing so. Sitting on the back of your heels, you raised your shaky hands and moved them over his lap to try to find an opening, a zipper, something. You could practically feel him smirk as he made you feel like a fool and in one simple motion, he pulled himself out of his complicated Asgardian attire. By the gods it was huge.. you’ve seen many men before in your lifetime but him.. you truly knew now the difference between a man and a god. Giving a quick glance up at his eyes was a mistake as he gave you a smug and knowing look. Ignoring his cockiness, your eyes moved back to his.. well, more than ready cock as it glistened with slight precum. There was no way you thought you could take it all the way in your mouth but you’d worry about it later as you just told yourself it was all to protect your team. You had to practically use both our hands as you gripped him, feeling his body almost flinch as he sucked in a breath by your touch and you almost seemed to be filled with a sense of power. Despite your situation here, the fact that he was hard because of you, the fact that his breathing and body reacted because of you, it almost made you want to return the smugness back at him. With a good grip on him, you used your hands to stroke him up and down while you leaned more forward to his tip. Taking one last breath, you ran your tongue across the tip and felt him shudder. Keeping your eyes glued to what you were doing, you bent and ran your tongue up his shaft before taking him into your mouth. You took as much as you knew you could handle and your hands cared for the rest and by how much that was, your mouth couldn’t even take half of him. That thought didn’t seem to bother you as it didn’t bother him as you took a quick peak and he was taking deep breaths, his head tilted back with his eyes closed. In that moment, he was the most beautiful being you had even seen.. it almost gave you the main motivation to get you to keep going as you began using your hands to stroke him while your head began to slowly bob up and down. It was hard to concentrate on the positives of why you were doing this in the first place when, to your demies, felt a pool formulate between your legs that almost made you pause. Were.. were you wet? ‘’this is obviously not your first time darling..’’ Loki breathed as he stroked your hair and you almost wanted to hate him. why couldn’t you? You used your tongue to run against him and your throat on the other side of his cock to be what gripped him. most girls you figured spent most of their time trying to be impressive by taking it all in rather than focus on the mere focus of making it feel good. Your knowledge seemed to work on Loki at least as you could hear him let out a breathy moan. Beginning to pick up the pace, you bobbed your head a bit faster while also doing your best to suck on him more. You could feel his leg muscles tighten and you figured he was doing his best not to buck. Hoping what you were doing was just enough, you kept at it before you jumped at the feeling of his fingers in our hair. Starting to pull back a little, his fingers tightened to stop you and took the initiative by pushing your head down more before pulling it back up repeatedly. Trying not to resist so he could understand he didn’t need to force you, it didn’t seem to come across him. hat, or he didn’t care anymore as he began bucking his hips up now to match your throat. With him guiding your head with his fingers in your hair and his hips snapping up, the face now began making your eyes water and your gag reflex to begin to trigger. You remembered a small trick to prevent your gag reflex which was to squeeze your thumb down but his harsh movement canceled that trick out. Panic began filling your chest as you tapped and pushed against his thighs to try to free himself but that just seemed to make him down faster as his heavy breathing and moans filled your ears. The thought of choking to breath flashed in your mind and before you could feel like you’d die if he kept going longer, you felt his cock twitch in your throat and his thrusts slowed. Your eyes widened as your body tensed, feeling hot liquid shooting and running down your throat. Releasing a small whimper, Loki kept your head down and stilled his movement. ‘’you will take all of me little one’’ he growled and didn’t release you until you swallowed every drop. Once you had, he finally released your hair and you fell back onto your rump, taking in generous amounts of air as your hand held your sore throat. ‘’f-fuck you..’’ you croaked, rubbing your neck as your eyes timidly glanced at him and he chuckled, standing up where his hands moved to properly undo his pants. ‘’well what did you think was going to happen next..’’

#loki #Thor and Loki #loki odinson #Loki Laufeyson #loki smut #loki x reader smut #loki x reader #loki god of mischief #loki fluff #loki imagine #loki is not a villain #lokifluff

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