#why is it so angsty?

[voidheartkisses]

they share a braincell

[hinamie]

all i have left

[yiyuss]

i'm spreading about this because i'm so tired of the misinfo about him being a flirty playboy just because he likes to give compliments

[luvley-axii]

"Everyone in my life changed, promise me you won't change"

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Which version is better?

Personally, I couldn't decide which version I liked more, so here's a simple colored and rendered one.

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ig: hamartiaina

x: hamartia_ina

[major-comet]

the biggest problem with tos’ episodic format is that the episode usually ends pretty quickly after the conflict resolves and then they never really talk about it again - no matter how intense or harrowing it was

which means that we don’t get to actually *see* the interpersonal fallout of bones being diagnosed with and cured from a previously-incurable terminal illness (that he didn’t even want to tell jim and spock he had), and then just four episodes later drugging them so that he can go be tortured (and likely die) instead of spock, and so jim doesn’t have to make the choice between them.

did they talk about it? beyond just a standard debrief and a “never fucking do that again bones i swear to god i mean it this time”? did they make it the captains’ quarters for the debrief, only for mccoy to be pulled into a crushing, trembling hug as soon as the door shut while jim tried to assure himself that bones was still here, was still breathing? spock hovering nearby - a hand gently coming to rest on his shoulder?

why didn’t mccoy want to tell them about the xenopolycythemia, anyways? to try and hold onto a few more normal-ish months before every time they looked at him their eyes would be filled with grief - mourning a man they hadn’t yet lost? the same reason he ran away; to spare them what he went through with his father?

only for him to immediately turn around and throw himself back to the wolves to (almost) die right in front of them anyways

i don’t really know how they handled it. whether they talked about it and attempted to soothe the hurt, or just resolutely tried to bottle it up.

but i do know this: spock eventually came back from gol because jim simply (though accidentally) called out for him in a moment of need. bones only came back because jim personally drafted him back into starfleet

[sunderwight]

Liushen AU where SY transmigrates into SJ's older brother, and subsequently nopes them right out of the slavery backstory by using his general knowledge of the story and actually being an adult in a kid's body to just leave (basically) with SJ and YQ.

SY carts them both up to Cang Qiong for the next sect trials. It's actually not all that hard, the trickiest part is getting enough to eat and finding safe places to sleep between leaving the slavers and taking the trials (SY manages just barely, with considerable help from his new little brothers.) Nobody bothers to go after them because it's before Qiu Jianluo and this style of human traffickers mostly operate by virtue of their merchandise having nowhere else to go. Chasing down runaways is an expense not worth indulging, given that most of them either come straight back or die of exposure.

Anyway, they take the trials, and as expected YQY gets chosen to become a personal disciple for the sect leader, and SJ gets chosen by the Qing Jing Peak Lord, but also as (kind of) expected (by SY alone) nobody wants SY. He's older the Yue Qi, so too old, and unlike YQ and SJ his cultivation potential isn't striking enough to make any exceptions for him.

SY, however, can't leave it at that. He's spent more than five minutes with the street kid codependency gang, so he's gotten attached to both of them. And he knows what will happen if they're left to their own devices and The Plot proceeds accordingly. (Also, they keep threatening to not stay at the sect if SY doesn't stay too, for some reason.) So with a heavy heart and internal candle lit for himself, SY heads to Bai Zhan Peak. Which is the only peak that accepts disciples by way of them turning up and refusing to leave.

SY's not much of a fighter. He actually really hates the atmosphere on BZP, he's not bad at physical cultivation (his health's pretty good in this life, ironic considering how much worse his situation was) but the random ambushes and survival-of-the-fittest stuff is just not his brand. But that's okay, because it turns out that BZP actually DESPERATELY needs disciples on the actual peak who are interested in things other than fighting and cultivating their own strength. Stuff like, filling out requisition requests for An Ding every time things break, apologizing to An Ding every time things break again, organizing schedules, browbeating senior disciples into actually teaching, educating disciples on virtually any artistic or social skill, hosting lectures on how to beat vicious beasts without just overpowering them, and etc.

Okay so some of this stuff isn't and has never actually been on Bai Zhan's curriculum but Shen Yuan is going to make this place tolerable. And stop these children from needlessly getting acid burns or lyme disease or scurvy or whatever. He keeps internally chewing out Airplane for designing a sect system that means there are a lot of largely unsupervised 12-year-olds running around the wilderness on a mountain picking fights all the time. (When he actually meets Shang Qinghua and figures him out he switches to doing it in person, of course, in twice-monthly bitching sessions that look a lot like budding friendship.)

Of course one of the worst offenders is the Liu kid, who SY would suspect was actually raised by wolves if he didn't know for a fact that Liu Qingge has a younger sister, and also the kinds of nice clothing and letters from home that strongly imply not only does he have a family, but that the family is pretty well-off. Liu Qingge is at first deeply offended by SY being a BZP disciple. He rarely fights anyone, and uses tricks and evasion tactics whenever a fight can't be avoided. And he does other annoying stuff, like pestering him about meals and baths and lecturing him on identifying dangerous plants and the early signs of qi deviation. This is not what their peak is about! He should get with the program already! Just fight stuff until you're too tired to keep fighting stuff!

Also SY's younger brother, SJ, is pure evil (at least according to baby Liu Qingge) even though his other younger brother (?) is cool and nice.

Anyway, Liu Qingge stops complaining about SY after their first mission together, where Liu Qingge doesn't lose a fight but does get into a kind of pyrrhic victory situation where he's really badly hurt, and it's SY who helps him win (correctly identifying the monster and then pointing out its weakness) and takes care of him afterwards and gets him safely back to Cang Qiong. SY expresses surprise at LQG actually being polite to him, and LQG realizes that he's been a colossal ass if people think he wouldn't be grateful to someone who saved his life, so the usual Liushen dynamic proceeds from there. Liu Qingge starts bringing SY fans he leaves behind and hunts down animals that are supposed to be useful for bolstering weak cultivation, SY invites LQG to tea and keeps the critters as pets, etc etc.

SY doesn't get the Head Disciple position, because that's only acquired via beating the current peak lord in combat and lol no. Also he's not interested in stealing it from Liu Qingge, to whom it rightfully belongs (in his mind). But that's fine, because Liu Qingge takes the position when the next generation ascends and then he lets SY exclusively handle all the peak duties SY actually likes (mainly teaching). It's perfect -- Liu Qingge gets to focus on his War God antics and occasional administration/meetings without having to deal with students his has no patience for, but the disciples of BZP don't get neglected because SY is actually teaching and organizing classes and student care. BZP hasn't enjoyed a golden age like this since it was founded!

Things are pretty good overall, but Shen Yuan knows that it's only a matter of time before The Plot shows up, and so he can't rest completely easily.

Meanwhile, the will-they-or-won't-they bets on Liushen have been going strong for a while now. The thing is, most of their martial siblings are convinced that these two are already "together", and just being circumspect about it. Those who know SY well (like SJ, YQY, and SQH) know better but think that SY's romantic obtuseness is to blame, whereas those who know LQG well (LMY, WQW, and MQF) are pretty sure that it's actually LQG's obtuseness that's the problem. Of course it's actually both of them, so efforts to "fix" matters by getting through one of their thick skulls inevitably run afoul of the other's.

An additional complication is of course: SJ doesn't like LQG (mutual), and now that he's the leader of his own peak, he wants to poach SY to come and live there. Not only so he can have one of the 2 people he trusts actually close at hand, but also because SJ also hates actually teaching the atrocious little brats on his peak, and would like to have SY come and do it for him. YQY is still a total pushover for him too, and is also now the sect leader, so YQY agrees that SY can change peaks if SY and LQG both agree to it.

Liu Qingge, of course, is a no, but he's a variable "no". He's not going to hold Shen Yuan against his will or anything.

As for Shen Yuan, it's... complicated. He doesn't really like BZP, but it's gotten a lot better than it was at the start. These days he's actually pretty proud of his accomplishments, and it's more comfortable, but it's still a rough and rowdy place with fewer creature comforts, libraries, or other appealing points than QJP. Also, if he goes to Qing Jing to teach, he can personally ensure that SJ doesn't go around persecuting any of his students!

But... SJ never lived with the Qiu family in this AU, and even though SY's not totally clear on what the PIDW backstory for SJ was, he knows he's a better guy now than the scum villain in the book was. He has a reputation for making cutting remarks, not for being an abusive snake or a lecher. SY's honestly less worried about him doing anything bad at all, and there are other people on QJP who can teach. It might even be good for SJ to promote more people to fill out a social circle he can rely on! That guy needs more friends, seriously.

And QJP really doesn't need more layabout literary intellectual types who get into pointless arguments, which is all SY would be if he went there. Just yet another nerdy scholar for the rich kids with middling cultivation that the peak favors to ignore. At least on BZP he's filling a gap.

SY is clearly torn, and the fact that SY's considering it has LQG upset, and LQG doesn't handle being upset very well, so of course they have an argument about it. SY storms off to cool his head and LQG is like, this is it, he's gone to Qing Jing Peak, I've drive him off by being too aggressive and he's probably remembering all those times I told him he didn't belong here and oh no what have I done maybe if I build him a heated bath and get him books he will come back???

Turns out that SY just went to An Ding to vent at SQH while SQH was like "I think you would have fewer problems if you and Liu Qingge just got married and my disciples could call you Shigu to your face instead of behind your back" and SY threw melon seeds at him and sulked on his fainting couch (which is always cold for some reason...)

Thus begins the Liushen Divorce Arc where SY tries to be anywhere but BZP or QJP, Liu Qingge tries to figure out what thing he can punch to fix this not-punchable problem, SJ is like "I don't see what the big deal is they should break up Liu Qingge is awful and I want my brother to teach my classes for me" like the spoiled youngest sibling he's finally allowed to be, YQY is trying to moderate this Hades vs Demeter situation and is all "well maybe SY could spend half the year on QJP and half on BZP?", and Liu Mingyan is going "I know my brother if this doesn't work out he is going to die single and pining like an idiot" and so keeps conscripting other disciples to y'know, lock SY and LQG into storage closets together (ineffective: LQG can punch through walls) or at least get them in the same room (underestimating SY's willingness to yeet himself out of windows to avoid awkward social interactions.)

By the time Luo Binghe joins the sect (as a Qiong Ding disciple), the drama is in full swing and is the main topic of gossip across most of the peaks.

[froopa-coopa]

fear of the water 🖤 tma animatic

[avastazyana]

[oatmealdoodles]

Stolitz cheek touchies

[microwavebeeep]

of all deancas episodes which one is your personal roman empire? the one that you keep thinking about for some reason?

(the despair goes without saying)

[collophora]

Fics rec of the week, and especially if you like well-written Wrecker, is the entire work of @electrikworm on AO3 In order:

The Batch have a terrible day

Human Shield

A peaceful moment

(But go read the others too)

[evasive-anon]

Let Danny’s Parents Be Criminals

I hate the reveal gone wrong trope in the dpxdc fandom because we know Jack and Maddie end up supporting Danny and Dani in the end. His parents have some major flaws but wanting to torture their actual child isn’t one. What they are guilty of is going way too hard on any plan they cook up without thinking of the consequences.

If I were writing a dpxdc fic and I wanted Danny in adoptable status I’d just have Jack and Maddie in jail on charges of domestic terrorism after they killed off GIW agents and destroyed the GIW’s bases. They realized their ghost kids were in potential danger and went at the government the same way they went at ghosts, guns blazing and with reckless driving.

They end up in federal prison and they Vlad wins custody cause he’s rich and there is your runaway Danny plot starter.

[tealvenetianmask]

I was confused at first about why the writers chose "infester demon" as Rolando's identity, rather than something like "possessor" or . . . idk . . . anything else.

So let's see. An infestation takes over a place and often destroys it (think about termites in a house or an invasive species in a forest or a body of water).

Rolando's specialty is not just taking over his victims' bodies to use them. He moves in, explores all the dark crevices of their minds, and takes over all of it.

It starts small . . .

And quickly goes out of control.

Digging deeply into memories for ammunition, removing the host's connection with their present reality.

Rolando is portrayed as horrifically and physically invasive.

He goes right through Blitz, knocking him violently to the ground, and once in his mind, ties him up, licks his neck, holds his eyes open . . .

He brings forward the worst memories Blitz has and makes sure they consume him so that Blitz becomes completely engulfed and loses control of his mind and body. The possession is horrifying because Blitz's movement and fighting style change completely. The infester has moved in and completely overtaken the previous inhabitant.

Rolando infests his victims. And the way to get him out? Make the environment inhospitable to him (while thankfully the other inhabitant, Blitz, "can handle it."). Like putting down poison around the foundations of a house to get rid of termites.

It's an apt metaphor too: trauma can be like an infestation.

The adverse experiences come in and change neural pathways in our brains, intertwining themselves with our very ways of experiencing the world, with our senses of self.

We can fight trauma with all sorts of things, and it varies wildly person to person. In this situation for Blitz, a supportive friend who's able to tell him the reasons why he's so valuable to her, who's willing to physically beat the infester out of him. Who can help him build new, stronger connections in his brain, memories that strengthen him rather than break him down.

But while Rolando seems to be gone, Blitz's trauma isn't. Like many real infestations, it lurks in the shadows, weakened but ready to try again to take over when it gets another opportunity.

[hayaku14]

kuroba 'im traumatized by fire taking my loved ones away im never letting you near one' kaito vs kudou 'i let someone die in a fire and it haunts me to this day i'll never let that happen again' shinichi

[stanpineskisser]

Time for Stanley headcanons because why not!!

-He actually quit smoking a long time ago, his health problems were already catching up to him by the time he got in his 30s and having people in and out of the shack all the time meant a smoke break would be hard to come by. He stuck with the occasional cigar as a treat.

- He’s very much accustomed to recurring nightmares, but one time he had a dream that he became a father. He woke up in tears and felt an ache in his chest. His arms empty, yet yearning to hold something.

- Is MUCH kinder to Soos in private. Soos picks up on this and savors every moment they have alone together because Stan is almost a totally different person around him.

- Soos is a total Stan analysis NUT. He sees all his layers and it makes him love the guy more and more every day. Over time he’s tried to gently ask prying questions that get Stan to share about himself and Soos holds on to every nugget of information. Soos isn’t some dumb guy that follows Stan around. He’s completely aware that Stan underpays him and can be brash with his words, but he’s made it part of his life’s mission to support Stan and help him through things. Knowing bits and pieces of Stan’s past, Soos admires him dearly. And that admiration is only amplified after finding out about Ford.

- Stan makes himself out to be this non-committal type guy but he actually truly craves intimacy and someone who would accept his intense loyalty. He’s an all or nothing type of man at his core but he’s stopped believing that anyone would ever want his “all”.

- He just wants to be cuddled and cherished 🥺

- Sometimes when Stan was around Dipper and Mabel or taking them out somewhere he liked to pretend in his own mind for a split second that they were his own kids. He’d quickly shake the thought, thinking it’s dumb/weird and immediately go back to playing his “unbothered uncle” attitude.

- His pride in his crimes is a cover for how he really feels: completely out of control of his own actions and doomed to be a “bad guy”. He feels as though he’s already in too deep with the life he led and has just decided to double down and convince himself he’s proud of what he has done. He always wanted someone to come along and give him a real reason to live a less risky lifestyle but they never came. Why be careful when there’s no one for me to please or protect? By the time Dipper and Mabel came around it just became ingrained in him.

[jovieinramshackle]

"Worthless."

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