#why is his backstory so fucking tragic
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ssaraexposs · 7 months ago
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IS THIS EVEN ALLOWED?!
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piosplayhouse · 11 months ago
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"Oh dear," the unicorn thought. "I must've really mucked up the story beyond compare! The Red Bull Luo Binghe is protecting the last unicorn scum?! Unconscionable! He should have driven me off the cliff by now!!"
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cha-lii · 7 months ago
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i’m just gonna go ahead and say it - the jonathan/nancy hospital scene was the only thing stranger things 3 had going for it
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eebie · 8 months ago
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will be a hater for a second but i will be real. idgaf aboutkabru And 90% of the reason why is bc me n my friends watched the dub and couldnt stand how much he talked with the super breathy generic anime protag voice
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gu6chan · 9 months ago
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Sometimes I think about my very short-lived experience watching Happy Sugar Life and how the only real potent "message" i got from it was through the fanbase with the realisation "wow okay so we are NOT past the 'women can't be paedophiles' narrative huh" because i remember so gleefully checking the comments only to be hit with shit like "they didn't have sex so i don't think it's paedophilia" or "given her past i don't think she INTENDED paedophilia" or the time i saw an rp blog for the mc like "I interpret it as platonic :)))" like mc wasn't dressing an 8 year old up in a wedding dress, grooming her, doing vows, kissing her on the mouth and making plans for how they'd elope and marry each other
Like okay, you're entitled to your interpretations ofc but at what point does it stop being an interpretation and start turning into cope because this is NOT the topic you want to do that with!!!!!!
#gu6chan's musings#the rp blog in PARTICULAR pissed me off (perhaps personally speaking as a mun who tries to be as BLUNT with this as possible) bc its like#some of yall really want to rp fucked up and problematic characters until they get actually fucked up and problematic; huh#like i get it we ALL have limits but MAYBE before tackling a subject so sensitive you could just..... maybe think 'this muse isn't for me'#instead of TAKING OUT THE MAIN FOCUS OF HER CHARACTER AND WIDDLING IT DOWN TO 'PLATONIC'???? do u know how insensitive that is to actual#grooming and CSA victims. maybe im overreacting!!!!! but literally; when it comes to this: do it straight or dont do it at all#it was an experience and as painful as it is im glad in a way it IS two girls because for an otherwise trashy anime it sure did open my eye#to how how high the bar needs to be set before women can be considered 'paedophiles' and not just 'awww; she's so fond of kids :)'#ESPECIALLY given the mandatory anime tragic backstory!!!! because the amount of people using that as justification as for why she WASN'T#seeing shio romantically was.... *crumples*#like yeah; right!!! bc as we all know victims don't become abusers at all and when they do theyre 100% aware of it#im just saying#y'all would NEVER have pulled this shit if it was being done with two dudes and it shows#'leonard isn't in LOVE with seere; he just made out with him in SR because he was projecting his grief. he doesnt know how to show it :('#<- how some of these bitches sounded fr#anyways its happy sugar life it's not that serious 😭 yall are still stupid tho
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fionnaskyborn · 1 year ago
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i can be normal about videogames i promise
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daisies-on-a-cup · 1 year ago
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actually you know what if you make will's dad an abusive parent i cant say i trust you much
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globodamorte · 2 years ago
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chasing tails spoilers if anyone cares about that
can u imagine if Taeyeon was the killer and she was sooo fucking out of touch with reality and just wanted to be famous and rich so she murders her friends to try to ride on the tragedy to make money afterwards.
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thedissociatives · 2 years ago
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illdothehotvoice · 2 years ago
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Dimentio's entire. Thing. dshjnfdgnmdfh Makes me go crazy go stupid and it's so annoying because I don't even LIKE Dimentio that much but I'm also tired of seeing his character butchered lmfao dshjkfdg
#I just find is very silly when people write him traumatic backstories#And don't get me wrong! I think it's really cool that people are able to take this character that doesn't seem like he has a lot going on#and like. Try to make him 3 dimensional and interesting and cool and explore his character! I think that's sick and admirable!#And like obviously even if I didn't#let people have their fun! It's not hurting anyone! Even if I don't agree with a lot of those takes BUT#*gestures to the Pixel Uprising lore and the Magician and the Magicians Son* Boy howdy do I have the content for you all dhfjkdnsgfdh#That's it that is why I find it silly not because it's cringey or bad let people enjoy things#It's just silly because Dimentio is hinted at having a tragic backstory in canon but it's buried so fucking deep in the game#that like most people just don't know about it sdhjgknffdh#Which cna be said about all the Minions' stuff! And even then Dimentio's entire thing is REALLY vague and there#there's really no way of knowing if it's actually related to him or not I just think it's not a stretch to assume it is#because why else would it be brought up#ANYWAYS I think every super paper mario fan should read Carson and Garson's dialogue because it's a really interesting read#and also it's pretty unlikely you'd come across it without thoroughly exploring boy flipside and flopside#which isn't gonna happen in most online playthroughs and probably won't happen in a blind playthrough either#that's my super paper mario ramble for the day goodbye qwq
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jaredthebc · 4 hours ago
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OKAY GAMERS Sorry for the delay I keep getting distracted (Undiagnosed ADHD moment) Tis time for me to infodump about my Three Houses N AU teehee. AKA me mashing hyperfixations together like dolls because I’m insane and love crossover bullshit. Stuff isn’t completely set in stone since I need to likely review the timeline and stuff but yee :D
I’m putting everything under a read more, both because of general spoilers for the game and because I won’t lie, Three Houses can be a *tad bit* bleak and I try to write any fandom stuff about it in a similar tone. Content warnings for N’s story include child experimentation, child death, general childhood abuse (mainly from a cult and a man acting like a father figure), a lot of talks about mortality and fantasy chronic illness, and some mentions of emeto/coughing up blood
If any of that would be triggering for you then please scroll past, remember the phrase “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat”
If you want a link to what N looks like pre and post time skip, click here!
-For setup. N (Or “Natural” at the start) doesn’t remember his birth parents, and originally grew up in a small orphanage with his older sisters, Athena and Concordia, both of whom are biologically related to Natural in this AU, rather than adopted siblings. The orphanage itself wasn’t bad, maybe a bit underfunded but meant well, but Natural always felt isolated from his peers, not really understanding human connections well unless it was with his sisters. Due to his mostly solo and antisocial behavior, he spent a lot of his childhood feeling isolated and struggled to get himself and his sisters adopted
-However, things started to look up when an older man dawning a black cape and a cane started frequenting the orphanage, looking to adopt. Immediately, the “kind” older gentleman seemed attached to Natural, stating he had “great potential for the future” and was “A bright young man destined to be one of the greatest figures in Foldlan”. Natural, of course, wasn’t used to being directly treated so kindly despite his personality quirks, and within just a few days, papers were finalized for adoption. The only thing the two argued about during the adoption process was convincing the old man to adopt his siblings, but after some convincing, the old man would (reluctantly) allow Natural’s sisters to come with to live with him
-Of course, no one can have nice things. This man was Ghetsis, a powerful sage within The Cult lurking underneath the belly of Foldlan, regularly referred to as “Those Who Slither In The Dark”. What I neglected to mention, was that Natural has something valuable to The Cult. A Crest, AKA a token from The Goddess herself given to warriors generations ago, and have been passed down from heir to heir granting them various powers. Though Natural wasn’t even aware of his status, considering his lack of blood parents to inform him, he was the only one out of his siblings to gain The Crest of Beasts (though not the only one to possess it, I’ll get to that later). Ghetsis needed a child bearing any Crest, so one being so available for easy access was convenient for the man
-When indoctrinating Natural into The Cult, Ghetsis was very peculiar about specific things, making sure his health was always monitored, being selective as to how often he interacted with the fellow children The Cult had access to, and barely even letting Natural see his own sisters without permission. Most notably, however, is the name change. Ghetsis had it so Natural were to only be referred to the first letter of his name, simply referring to the child as N. N didn’t understand these changes, but his rose tinted glasses of finally having a “complete family” made him unaware of the horrors to come
-Eventually, like most children with Crests The Cult got their hands on, N eventually experienced a gruesome experimentation in his early teenage years, in which the goal was to artificially implant a second Crest into his body, making him a super human of sorts, with the goal of creating a perfect figure to be used to take down both The Kingdom of Fargus, and The Church of Serios, both of which controlled Foldlan, and with the two of them out of the way, The Cult could rule the region. Ghetsis in particular wanted his “son” to be the first true success, so he can use him to propel himself to the top of the food chain within The Cult
-While many died during this brutal process, N thankfully was one of the few to directly survive the process, gaining a second Crest. It seemed like a perfect success, that he looked completely the same and likely would hold the key’s to Ghetsis’s plans of domination. However, after only a few weeks, N’s fate was sealed for the worse
-N’s hair started whitening at the tips, already a clear indicator of Double Crests. Though that itself didn’t confirm anything, his fate came when chronic pain started flaring up through N’s body. It would feel like the nerves in his body were actively stabbing him through his limbs, and would sometimes be bad enough to either make it hard to move, or even cause him to randomly cough up blood. This was the key sign that the experiment was a failure, and that N wouldn’t be of any use to either Ghetsis or The Cult.
-Keeping a caring facade still, Ghetsis decides the best way to rid of his failure is to send N off with some other adults whom are apart of The Cult to The Church of Serios, neglecting to tell him that said members were being sent in an attempt to assassinate Lady Rhea. Ghetsis figures that this attempt wouldn’t be successful, so he’s using this to his own convince to cut his losses and not need to dirty his own hands with disposing his son himself
-Ghetsis is correct in the fact that this assassination attempt goes poorly, as every member apart of the coup is captured, including N. While most were executed by the Church for nearly killing its figure head, N receives a good amount of sympathy from the Church staff. Considering the fact he cannot be older than 13 by this point, Rhea and the others figure he didn’t have as much of a choice in this as an adult would. Plus, him bearing two Crests would make him worth keeping him alive so Professor Hanneman can get direct exposure studying
As such, N is allowed a choice for his fate. Either he lets himself be executed, or he is sent down to The Abyss under The Church and occasionally gets checked in on by Hanneman for research purposes. Obviously, a scared teenager like N in this situation would choose life over death, so he agrees
-From here, N fully intends to live out the rest of his days in the Church’s sewers with the rest of the outcasts, pretty much the same as where he started, but without access to grander society, his sisters likely assuming him dead, and grappling with the fact his “Father” likely sent him out on that mission to die. He also discovers from Hanneman that his double crests very likely do more than just give him chronic pain and slowly whitening hair. The double Crests experiment severely reduced his life expectancy, and he’d be likely to make it past his mid thirties at most. Sooooo yeah this kid is fucking going through it
-Despite everything, N is still a kind man who wants to make an impact on others lives. Even while his mental health goes through it during his years in The Abyss, he still manages to bond with the members of the Ashen Wolves, the unofficial forth house of the Church. He’s practically their fifth member, though I picture he’s likely to stray off and isn’t super loyal to the made up house (trust issues and all that). He *does* leave The Abyss by the time he’s around 17 but also around then is when the war begins so this poor guy can’t catch a damn bREAK-
I know this all sounds super depressing, but I love this take I made on N’s story to fit within one of my current hyperfixations, so he does get plenty of different endings that are happy and give him a chance to heal, even if his time on this world isn’t long. I didn’t even get to mention stuff like his comically large sweet tooth, his intense hyperfixation on ghosts and Wyverns, or the fact that Reshiram also exists in this universe as a fluffy Wyvern N bonds with and uses during the war. Maybe later I’ll make another post but this one is so comically long I’m sorry bout that, call me the yapper 💀
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cetoddle · 2 months ago
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i’m starting to think i’m the only person who doesn’t like fruits basket
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reanimatedgh0ul · 10 months ago
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trying to nail down eli's character rn (aka my fanon version of danielle)
so here are some characters i can see her taking after
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#i'm considering rolling youngblood's character into hers since i'll be honest as a character he rlly isn't THAT#distinct or unique enough where i don't think much would be lost if i were just axe him and fold him into eli's character#him and dani are both child characters who show up have 2 eps where they're plot relevant#again they're not like SUPER well defined as characters#they both just kinda act like your standard child character in a cartoon would imo#so the backstory i'm currently brainstorming for her is that instead of being danny's clone she's a girl that went missing a couple yrs ago#and was never found she's basically a runaway who tragically died and likes to play pretend/read books as a form of escapism#from the crappy life she had when she was still alive and living w her parents#ig if you're wondering as to why she's not a clone here is bc imo i think valerie could've served danielle's role in the narrative just fin#had the writers actually fleshed out her mentee/mentor relationship w vlad actually#so in my eyes it's not necessarily plus why have vlad idk like try to actually emotionally manipulate danny after bitter reunions#and get him back into his good graces instead having him yk make clones or w/e#like i think it's funny how vlad's like 'man i rlly want danny to abandon his father and be my son'#(proceeds to do literally NOTHING to make that happen bc he continues to just be an asshole to his nephew once he knows the truth lol)#also for as much as i extend sympathy to maddie/jack bc to me they're brown immigrant parents who are clearly flawed but trying#i don't want eli to get adopted by them simply bc yeah no offense maddie/jack but you guys literally fucked up the 2 kids you did have#so maybe let's not add a 3rd one to the mix ok#also i should mention that eli's name is a nickname (her given name is elizabeth but doesn't rlly like going by it anymore)#robi rambles
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britcision · 4 months ago
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Every single time Caleb talks about how the things he did were awful and irredeemable Astrid is internally screaming
Caleb failed on their graduation day
He made it through training, and yeah, did awful things
Astrid and Wulf passed that graduation, finished training, and spent 17 years in the real world doing the actual job
The parts too hard, too bloody, too dangerous, to trust to teenagers
Caleb knows Trent is awful and all of the terrible things he put children through, and every dreadful thing he is capable of, no question
But Astrid and Wulf, looking at him after the Mighty Nein? Not when he was in the Sanitarium, broken by Feeblemind, but a whole, complete person?
A wizard powerful enough to stand toe to toe with their master, and what did he do that they didn’t to get there?
He ate pastries. Wore bread as mittens. Made dick jokes and found love and forgiveness and people who may not understand, but who don’t care that they don’t understand and accept him anyway
People who looked at this sad, broken man with up to seven years of guilt and terrible deeds weighing him down (depending on when you think Trent started scourging ‘em, seemed young in the campaign but much later in the comic)
Knowing that they spent every one of the years he was in the Sanitarium and then after he escaped still under Trent’s thumb, still doing everything they’d done as kids and more, doing it with higher stakes, higher costs
And he talks about those childhood sins as unforgivable
He tells them that they too can be redeemed, as if nothing and no one could be worse than he was
But Astrid and Caleb are the same person
So you know she’s just as convinced that her sins were actually the worst, and there’s hope for anyone else but her
And she has the resume to back it up
And no matter how much she wishes she could have what he has, be free and redeem herself and maybe admit she shouldn’t have had to do any of it…
If Caleb doesn’t believe he can be redeemed, how could there be hope for her?
(And absolutely none of it will stop Jester Lavorre from scooping up another two formerly evil wizards and tucking them gently into her pocket and woobie-ing them to death with sprinkles and muffins and love)
look me in the eyeballs. astrid and caleb (imo wulf is a slightly different story but that's another post) are textually, canonically narrative foils. i think a better, less literary term-y way to put it is that they're variations on the same person. like. canonically. astrid is caleb if he didn't fail the training. caleb is astrid if she got out. they're like if you took one person and laid out two seperate options on how they would react to a major life-changing incident (hmm. i wonder what that might be in this context). astrid. caleb. they look at each other and see themselves. caleb is alright with this. astrid was holding on for her life for a little bit, trying not to lose her shit, because. he is who she would be if she was free and she figures that out during c2 yknow. caleb always knew that he was almost astrid so he just had to. like. look at this woman he loves dearly and fucking. wretchedly. and cope with the fact that 1. he loves her 2. she's awful 3. she could be so much better than she is 4. she's too far gone for that. but he's been coping for a long time, and she's not unreachable she's just. she's never gonna be him. meanwhile she has to grapple with the fact that she will never be as free as him- i don't know if she really wants to be, but he's proof that her life didn't need to go the way that it did and that's brutal. anyway. they're the same guy. it is so so important to consider that in relation to the dynamic they have going on. is this mic on
#critical role#critical role meta#c2#caleb widogast#astrid becke#my babygirls okay#you don’t understand i am feral for them#also wulf we love wulf but he learned to work out his muscles too and snuck some himbo energy#like yeah yeah essek and caleb are narrative foils we all know#which. means. astrid and essek are foils-in-law#and i think they both know that and they would both be much happier to admit how much they have in common with each other#because they both think caleb is better and closer to redemption#and the secret is the dick jokes it’s the only thing astrid and essek didn’t do it’s why they stayed evil for sure /j#(the secret is jester specifically liam didn’t think caleb would warm up to anyone until laura Assassinated Him)#(the others woulda got him eventually but laura grabbed him by the throat first session and said#‘HEY LOVE THE NEW EDGY CHARACTER WITH THE TRAGIC BACKSTORY LIAM#BE A SHAME IF SOMEONE… DREW DICKS IN HIS SPELLBOOK’#and liam lost his goddamn mind because he is also a chaos gremlin at heart)#trent can do all the scary traumatising training he wants jester can undo it with 3 texts and a dream#cuz she literally doesn’t fit in his worldview. like. fundamentally incompatible. she shouldn’t exist.#if trent was right and the world was as bad as he thought and all of his bs was actually necessary… jester woulda died in nicodranas#her just bopping around happy and carefree and It Works proves every single thing trent ever told them wrong#‘oh we must ruthlessly train you and destroy all empathy and torture you for magical power’#‘orrrrr have you considered loving your friend so hard he becomes a god nd just gives you cool magic?✨✨✨hey now watch me raise the dead!’#caleb and astrid are the same person and this is why jester fucking broke them both#jester lives in a different world to everyone else cuz until they meet her everyone assumes her world couldn’t work#but it does#cuz she had no reason to think it wouldn’t so she tried it anyway
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thegempage · 2 years ago
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i'm gonna ramble in the tags real quick lmao
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sp0o0kylights · 12 days ago
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Knight Commander Stephan Harrington, Champion of Light, right hand to the newly crowned (and very young) Queen Elaine, was tied up on the floor. 
Unfortunately, so was Eddie.
Which wasn’t intentional--it certainly had not been the plan (not that kidnapping two royal knights had been the plan either)--but it was the outcome that had happened and so, Eddie had to deal. 
Now if only he could get the damn bespelled ropes from entangling him…
“You are incredibly bad at this.” The knight informed him in an amused tone. “Like, insanely bad. You should be ashamed levels of bad.” 
…which would be a lot easier if he wasn’t being heckled. 
“I am not!” Eddie defended, as he finally managed to free himself, throwing the offending, wiggling ropes across the room. Never again would he buy from the cheap spell stall in the market. 
“This is a clear and obvious ploy to get you to feel like I am in over my head and you--both of you!--are falling for it!” 
He leapt to his feet, spinning around and staring down at his captives with a look he hoped was threatening.
(It wasn’t.) 
“We've been kidnapped a handful of times, you know.” Knight First Class Robin Buckley spoke up from her position tied next to her commander. “People tend to put way more thought into it than this.” 
She’d adjusted her position sometime between her initial capture (a spell he'd purchased that Eddie had intended to hit the royal carriage and not the knights escorting it) to sit cross legged, hands bound behind her back.
“At least one thought, anyway. You gotta admit this feels pretty desperate.” Stephan piled on. He’d been more entertained than pissed ever since Eddie had taken himself down with his own tools, and the wisecracks were getting worse. 
“Thank you, Sir Stephan--”
“You can just call me Steve, man.” 
“—but some of us are on a tight deadline here. And for your information,” He brought himself to his full height, trying to loom over them menacingly, “nobody goes around kidnapping royalty unless they’re absolutely desperate.”
Not that he’d succeeded in the “royalty” department, but he’d gotten close enough. 
“Oh that reeks of a tragic backstory.” Robin said, like she was seated at a dinner party and not on the floor. “Did you get cursed?” 
“He looks like the type of guy to get cursed.” Steve agreed, head tilting like a faithful dogs as he examined his captor. 
Frustration overwhelmed him in a wave and Eddie went to angrily yank on his hair before catching himself in the act. As good as it would feel in the moment, it would not help him convince the idiots before him that this was serious, dammit! 
The result was that he flung his hands around wildly for a moment, before storming off across the room of the little abandoned cabin he’d found, face burning a brilliant, obvious red. 
“I didn’t get cursed, I got accused of--oh. Oh, no, I will not be caught monologuing, fuck you!”
He whirled on his heels, pointing a finger at their stupid faces. “Why I did it doesn’t even matter!” 
(Or rather, it did matter—a lot, actually—but not right now. Not to them.
Stupid fucking royal employees and their stupid fucking charmed lives.) 
He wasn’t shrieking, he wasn’t--except he was, and both knights traded a look behind his back as he paced wildly about. “I caught you, and I am going to use you to get what I want!” 
“Right, sure.” Steve said, nonplussed. “Say, did you maybe touch a weird looking, possibly magical item by chance? Or gave your name to a weirdly attractive looking lady who seems to love yapping about royal court band practices and who definitely wasn't one of the Fae?” 
He cast a sly look at his companion with that last line, and was rewarded when her mouth popped open in instant offense. 
“You swore you’d stop bringing that up!” Robin said, snapping a leg out in a kick, nailing her companion in the thigh with one thick boot. 
“I swore I’d stop bringing up the incident with Nancy.” Steve fired back, taking her kicks with ease. “And all those archery lessons you swore you needed, because you apparently hit your head in battle and forgot how a bow worked--”
“Shut up, Dingus!” Robin growled, in tandem with Eddie’s mounting panic. 
This was not, at all, going how this was supposed to. Not that anything had as it was supposed to, since shit went sideways, but the knights were at least could have the decency to be somewhat afraid of him! 
Or angry.
Eddie could work with angry!
This two bit comedy routine he was being subjected to instead of any rational reaction was just the icing on top of the weird cake of his life and he was this close to having a full blown mental breakdown about it. 
Which, of course, was exactly when they had to go and make things worse.
Robin stopped kicking her commander and turned back to Eddie, eyes narrowing with the sharpness of someone who had just put something big together. “Hey, hold on—aren’t you that bard half the kingdom won’t shut up about? Eddie the Balladeer?”
Because naturally, the first time anyone recognized him since his life went to hell, it had to be the people he’d just kidnapped.
(He should have listened to his uncle and become a woodworker.) 
“I was.” Eddie grumped. “More like fuckin’ Eddie the Banished now. But again,” He stressed the word with a harsh flick of both hands, “that doesn’t matter.” 
“Why not?” Steve pressed him. “Pretty sure Dustin is planning on you playing at his birthday party. He’s obsessed with that weird song you do. The one with the bed spring noises.” 
Eddie did not know who Dustin was, but after the chaos of the past two weeks, it was only a matter of time before word of his so-called crimes reached the capitol and shredded whatever remained of his reputation.
“Considering I’ve been accused of murder and my entire damn hometown thinks I’m leading satanic rituals, I seriously doubt that,” he sneered, aiming for something haughty and menacing—anything that would make them start taking this whole thing seriously. 
Steve and Robin exchanged another look, the kind only two people sharing a single brain cell could, the unspoken agreement loud and clear on their faces: ‘Do Not Laugh Right Now.
Which was, frankly, insulting, given the sheer level of trauma that came with being branded a murderer.
“Who accused you of satanic worship?” Steve managed to ask, clearly struggling to keep his words giggle free. “You look like one of those wobbly baby deer. You know, with the big, cute eyes.”
Eddie glowered at him. “Are you deaf? I just said it was the entire town!” 
(He determinedly ignored the fact that Steve had just compared him to a damn woodland creature—and called him cute, on top of it.)
“Is this one of those things wrong place wrong time things?” Robin tacked on, like this was a fun puzzle and not Eddie’s life spiraling wildly out of control. “Like, ‘there’s a dead body on the floor and I’m holding a knife but I swear I just walked in here right before the constable did’ type of situations?” 
“I bet the person he apparently murdered isn’t even dead.” Steve fake-whispered to Robin conspiratorially, eyes never leaving Eddie’s. They were crinkled at the edges in a smile, like this entire thing was getting better by the second. “Money says he helped a fair maiden get out of an awful marriage and the shitty fiancé accused him of killing her.” 
Which is exactly what happened, the fucking dick. 
Jaw swimming with his attempts to get out too many words at once, Eddie sputtered. “Of course she isn’t dea--I mean, I, no!” 
“Ha! Steve you totally nailed it.” Robin said, leaning back in triumph. “Which means Dongus here was trying to kidnap one of the Princes to get someone to listen to you. God that’s so cliche.” 
“It’s not like I asked for it to happen!” Eddie shrilled, tone hitting notes he hadn’t been aware his throat could make. 
“Man, I'm good.” Steve said, ignoring Eddie entirely. "I should've been a detective."
“Please, you’re much better at looking intimidating than actually being intimidating. Why do you think Hopper made you Champion, Mr. Model?” 
Eddie’s hands were in his hair again, and this time, he gave up all pretenses of looking cool and evil and let himself tear at it. 
“Why I’m doing this doesn’t matter because it’s not like you two can fucking help me!” 
That, at least, cut through the good cheer, succeeding in finally getting both knights to shut up. 
“I’m dead if I don’t fix this, but worse is if they go on and target Wayne, or Gareth or the rest of the band, or--” He wasn’t exactly hyperventilating, but he was breathing awfully fast. “I can’t let that fucknut Carver go on a whole rampage and hurt everyone who ever associated with me!” 
Wayne was fairly talented at talking the village down, but that had always been when Eddie had been accused of selling fake potions or replacing the town flag with Jason’s undergarments. 
He was not going to be able to fight off an angry mob, should they decide to make the trek to him. 
“Hey.” Steve said, his voice losing all the humor it had before. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay!”
“We can help make it okay.” Robin said gently and it become abruptly clear that his kidnapping victims were now trying to comfort him, because life just had to kick him while he was down. “We’re Knights of the Kingdom, after all.” 
“Oh and I suppose I’m just supposed to untie you and you’ll--what?” Eddie glared at them, hands pulling hard at his hair. “Just let the whole kidnapping thing go? Help me out of the goodness of your hearts instead of arresting me and throwing me in the stockades?” 
Steve shrugged. “I mean, yeah.” 
“I don’t believe you.” Eddie said flatly. 
“Does it help if we tell you this isn’t a contender for the top ten weirdest situations we’ve been in?” Robin asked. “Like, it’s not even close.” 
“No. No it does not.”
“Okay.” Steve said, in a ‘thinking aloud’ sort of voice. “How about this? We give you our words as knights that we’ll help clear your name, and you can stick with us so no one else tries anything until we do.” 
Like Eddie was dumb enough to fall for that bullshit. 
“And why would you do that? What's in it for you to help clear my name?” He challenged them. “We both know the second I untie either of you, you’re going to overwhelm me and take me in. I’m not taking that chance.”
Not with Wayne on the line. 
“Has anyone ever told you you have trust issues?” Steve asked, pushing Eddie right over the edge. 
“I was convicted!” He dropped his hands in a crazed movement, only to smack the back of one against the other's palm in time with his shrieking. “Of! Murder!” 
He must have hit another shrill note, because Steve and Robin both winced. 
“Easy.” Steve soothed. “You know who I am, right?”
Eddie snorted. Sir Stephan’s face was plastered across a shitload of banners all over the kingdom. You couldn’t go anywhere without knowing who the Queen’s Champion was, and Robin was nearly just as famous.
“Yes.” He grit out. 
“Then you know that while I myself don’t have any kind of magic or power, I am tied directly into the Kingdom’s power.” 
In an impressive display of athleticism, Steve maneuvered himself up into a proper kneel, hands still tied behind his back with softly glowing ropes. 
He looked up at Eddie through thick lashes, expression earnest. “If you want, I will tap into it to make you an unbreakable oath. That way I can’t betray you.” 
Stunned into stillness, Eddie stared at him, before his eyes swept to his companion, trying to check if this was some kind of trick or trap or--something else he was too stupid to catch.
Instead of an answer, Robin looked just as shocked as Eddie, her jaw dropping.
“Dingus, you can’t be serious,” She protested, while Eddie finally found his voice to choke out;
“Why would you do that?”
“Because we’re the good guys,” Steve replied, with a smile so bright it could probably power the sun. “and the good guys help people.” 
That was said a little oddly--like he was quoting someone who’d said it many, many times before. 
Eddie opened his mouth, struggling to form the words. 
“How,” he started, his voice cracking on the word. He paused, biting his lip before finally gathering the strength to ask, “How do you know I’m not just lying to you?”
“You?” Steve echoed, the word practically a challenge, but he was still looking up at Eddie through those damn eyelashes, his expression calm, like they'd known each other for a hundred years and would know each other for a hundred more. “No way.” 
They stared at each other for a long, drawn out moment. Eddie didn’t know what Robin was doing, didn’t have room in his brain to even recall her presence in the room. It felt like he and Steve were connected, his entire life was teetering and this moment would decide the outcome. 
Steve had been right. Eddie did have trust issues. Big ones, and this entire situation had only made them worse, but somehow, in that moment, he felt like he could do the impossible.
He could trust Steve.
“Okay.” He said quietly, all his bluster and wild hand movements gone. 
Steve beamed at him.
“Kneel down in front of me.” The knight instructed, and as if drawn by an invisible thread, Eddie did so, dropping down so his face was level with Steve’s. 
“Come closer.” Steve ordered, and waited as Eddie shuffled, closer and closer, until they were barely a breaths width apart, so close he could see the streaks of gold in Steve’s warm, brown eyes. 
“I,” Steve started, in a voice that was both powerful and intimate, “Sir Stephan, Knight Commander of the Kingdom of Light, Queen’s Champion and head of House Harrington, call upon the bonds that make me and that I have made in turn, to hereby swear to you,”
He paused, waiting, and it took Eddie a moment to realize he had never given the man his name.
“Edward Munson, of Town Hawkins.” He muttered, bespelled entirely by the warmth in Steve's eyes. 
“Edward Munson, Bard of Town Hawkins,” Steve said, and oh, what the addition of the word ‘bard.’ did to Eddie’s stomach. The flips it made when he realized just how well Steve was continuing to read him, better than anyone else in his life ever had.
(It made him feel insane.)
“that I will aid in clearing your name, restoring your reputation, and ensuring your safe return to the life you were meant to live.” 
Something built up between them, humming with the buzz of magic. The weight felt tangible, the threads growing thick tying Eddie and Steve together.
“By the powers that be.” Steve whispered, leaning ever so slightly forward, eyelashes lowering. 
Eddie repeated the last line back to Steve, guided by the nudging insistence of the magic that circled them. 
For a second the oath become visible, strings of bright yellow magic surging about, and Eddie was almost drawn to look at it, had he not been distracted by Steve closing the distance between them.
“Wha--” Eddie started to ask, only for Steve to draw the word into his own mouth, sealing their oath with a kiss. 
In the songs Eddie sung, the world exploded when one experienced true love's kiss. Birds sang, and people cheered, fireworks rose to explode in the air. 
This kiss was nothing like that.
This kiss felt like coming home. 
Steve ended it as chastly as he started it, pulling back to smile at him. “And there you have it. One sworn Knight Commander, duty bound to clear your good name.” 
“Uh huh.” Eddie said, blinking rapidly, trying to come back into himself, trying not to look as dazed as he felt. “Right. My uh, name.” 
Steve beamed at him. Tentatively, Eddie smiled back, and if a moment could be warm then this one was the warmest thing Eddie had ever experienced, like a gentle blanket being draped across them both.
It was ruined entirely by the forced coughing that started up next to them. 
“If you two are done now, my arms are going numb.” Robin announced, making Eddie jerk back and Steve roll his eyes. 
“Sorry.” Eddie said automatically, face going red for the third time that day. “I’ll uh. I’ll do that now.”
In his mad scramble to get to his feet and hide how aroused he was, Eddie missed the smug look Steve gave Robin.
In his attempts at removing the spelled ropes from her wrists, he equally missed the sarcastically mouthed ‘Slut.’ Robin aimed back at him. 
He did, however, somehow understand that Robin came with Steve, and that he had just damned himself to their bantering.
Weirdly, it made him feel better instead of worse.
xXx
 “So out of curiosity, what name did you give yourself?” Steve asked a handful of hours later, as the three of them began their trek to Castle Hoosier.
Eddie frowned at him. “Name?”
“You know.” Steve nudged his shoulder against Eddie’s playfully, like they were buddies. “Your evil wizard name, or whatever.”
“I never said I was a wizard, Steve.” 
“You cannot tell me someone as dramatic as yourself didn’t immediately decide to change your name to something ridiculous.” The knight challenged, and Eddie hated how easily the guy had clocked him. “I bet it has evil in the title. Or Mean. Or--” 
“It was Dread Lord Munson.”  Robin interrupted. 
With a grin so wide it overtook her entire face, she turned a little leatherbound notebook to face Steve. There, in Eddie’s spidery scrawl, was the offending name taking up half the page. 
“Where did you get that!?” Eddie squawked, lunging for the book. Robin, in a show of skill he wouldn’t have thought her capable of, tossed it right over his head, into the waiting hands of Steve. 
Eddie spun, cursing wildly as Steve took a look at his personal (!) writings. 
(He hadn't even seen her grab it, dammit!)
He ducked out of the way once, then twice, laughing the entire time, before closing the book with a snap and holding it out to Eddie. 
“Come on, Dork Lord, let’s go get your name cleared.” He said, a fond grin on his face. 
“I hate you. Both of you.” Eddie whined, a blush dusting his cheeks as he snatched his book back, but followed Steve anyway. 
He had the worst feeling he was going to be doing that for a while, now. Even if his name got cleared.
Fucking knights.
Bonus:
“We both know that binding ritual does not involve a kiss, Steve.” Robin said, some time later, quiet enough for only her friend to hear. 
“Ah, shut up Robs. Let me have my fun.” Steve said. “Besides, it sets the tone. Now that he knows what kissing me is like, it's all he’s gonna be thinking about.” 
“Pretty sure all he’s thinking about is clearing his name, Dingus.”
“Okay, yeah.” Steve stressed the word, “but after we clear it? That little scatterbrained bard is gonna be fully focused on me.” He flicked a finger at his own chest, and gave what he thought was his best winning smile. 
Robin made gagging noises.
In retaliation. Steve tried to push her off her horse. 
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