#why is everything hard and why is it so hard for me in particular for some reason bcs I know the majority of people deal w this just fine

[aka-indulgence]

Soundwave fic? Yes. I love him. I want him to kidnap me. What who said that

Anyway here’s a fic where tfp Soundwave kidnaps you because he likes you and you’re alone on the Nemesis with him for the first time kdsjlfjds

(Soundwave x F!Human Reader)

—————

As soon as he arrives on the ship, Soundwave transforms, shifting you from the cockpit into his hands as he does so. You make a small cry, bracing on his thumb and holding on for dear life as you wildly look around like a frightened animal.

The door behind him closing and the sunlight disappearing from its cracks only furthered your panic- Soundwave could hear the sound of your little frightened breaths, quick and shallow. It was unbearably cute.

He walks with calm, even steps through the hallways. As much as he adored your mannerisms, he didn’t want your (permanent) stay on the Nemesis to be unpleasant. He scrolls through the camera feed on his visor and finds Megatron on the bridge and heads his way.

It was quiet. Even though Soundwave had quite literally stolen you in broad daylight in front of the Autobots that could do nothing but watch him fly away with you, you still found reassurance from him. You looked up at him from time to time; furrowed brows, watery eyes. He can’t stand it. He was the only thing on this ship that was familiar to you, and so he was the only person you would seek comfort from.

A few vehicons saw him on his way to the bridge. All have balked on the sight, but they deserve credit. They were smart enough not to interfere with him, nor to question his new ‘girlfriend’.

“Commander Soundwave,” one nodded as he passed. Only someone like Soundwave could hear the slight shake in his voice.

It must be so hard for someone as small as you. Everyone and everything was so much bigger than you, even the vehicons. Even Laserbeak.

So cute…

He reaches the bridge and the doors slide open. Megatron stands ever vigilant, watching the skies.

“Soundwave. You’ve returned.” His master angles his head before fully turning around, “have you acquired the data I have asked of you?”

Soundwave nods and his screen blinks, displaying pictures of artefacts and text. Megatron’s eyes brighten and a dastardly grin widens.

“Cybertronian artefacts the humans uncovered? Excellent Soundwave. I’m surprised the humans had the forethought to store them in different places, but they won’t stay in their vaults for long…”

Coordinates show on his face of their locations, before he shows one particular artefact.

“A magnetic destabilizer. Did you retrieve it?”

His screen changes to a video of multiple army men shooting at him before the autobots arrived.

“Humans.” He sneered. “For such small creatures, their little guns can feel like scraplets when they are numerous. Even more reason to terminate these pests,”

Soundwave feels a twitch in his hand.

“Which begs the question… why have you brought one back with you?”

His liege sounded curious rather than chastising. His head dips down to where you sat. Poor thing- you were shaking now, your lips parted and gripping his finger tighter than before, unable to speak, wide-eyed staring back at Megatron.

He wraps his fingers around you in the hopes of comforting you, but it only makes you gasp in alarm, swinging your head to look back at him. You’re anxious. He pets your head and prods your cheeks for a moment before turning back to his master. To Megatron, he simply goes over pictures and footage of his encounters with you he managed to capture, then he holds you closer to his chest.

“I see…” Megatron nods. “Very well. I trust you can keep it in check. Although you were unable to retrieve the artefact, the data you brought was most valuable- we will certainly retrieve the rest. You are dismissed, Soundwave.”

Soundwave nods, and both he and Megatron turn to their next objectives; which, for Soundwave, was to have a private moment with you.

*****

Your heart is beating a mile a minute. You’re still having trouble wrapping your head around it. You were going on a human mission to meet with Fowler’s guys one moment, then taken aboard the Decepticon warship the next. And you still don’t understand why Soundwave took you in the first place, when you assume he already took all the information he needed from the unidentified objects database. Now you find out not only did Megatron not ask him to bring back a human, he specifically targeted you. What could he possibly want from you?

A door opens to an empty, barren room with a single shelf-like desk and a huge window that spans from the floor to the ceiling. Oh, and there was a bed on the desk too. Pillows, blankets, white linens and all. It looked rather plush and high quality.

So that’s what happened. You manage to think in the middle of your fear induced paralysis. Everyone had been so confused when Agent Fowler came in with the reports of Decepticon activity at a mattress store, of all places. And after a thorough checking with Ratchet, you’d found nothing else sinister has happened with mattresses. Until now, of course.

You’re placed gently on the table, far gentler than you’d expect a Decepticon to be capable of. Soundwave doesn’t look to be expecting anything from you right now, so you look around. You walk to the bed and feel the sheets; soft, slightly cold, and crisp compared to the beat up bedding you had back home. It reminds you of a hotel bed. You lift your head to look out the window: the perfect view of earth above the stratosphere. It was still day, clear from the bright blue the earth was practically glowing with- but you were so high above ground that there wasn’t enough atmosphere to scatter the light. You could even see the earth’s curvature.

The gravity of the situation, how far away you were from everything, how crazy this situation was that it didn’t feel real- it finally hits you like a ton of bricks and you were broken out of your disconnected paralysis. You were alive again. Your head feels hot, your heart is thumping, and it didn’t feel like you could breathe deeply enough. Fear and uncertainty rises in you like bile.

It’s too much.

Overwhelmed, you hiccup, and the tears start flowing.

You jump at feeling something on your side, and you’re turned around to face the one who captured you. Your hands are shaking, your lips are trembling, sobbing uncontrollably despite your attempts to hide them. You didn’t want him to see you cry, you knew Decepticons were cruel creatures. You wish you knew what he was thinking about, his emotions impossible to read considering that he’s faceless. He simply looks at you, in the silent way Soundwave always did, head tilted slightly down.

Was he judging you? Was he showing disdain? Did he think you were a pathetic, crying thing?

You couldn’t move again, with his hand bracing your back, watching his other hand approach, fingers extended. You sniffle and squeak as it gets closer but- then, very precisely for someone as enormous as he was, he wipes your tears away with his fingers.

“Huh..?”

As he caresses your head, he leans in closer, and you’re suddenly reminded of when children played with their dolls. Coddling them, playing with their hair, that unwavering stare. It makes you nervous, and you squish into his hand more trying to make space from him. You’re confronted with your own reflection in his visor, your eyes reddish and wet.

“Wh-what,” you swallow, mouth dry. “What is it that you want from me,”

Your voice was small and pitiful, shaking with the sobs that still racked your body. He tilts his head, as if he was asking isn’t it obvious?

One slender, extended finger pokes the center of your chest, on your sternum.

Static sounds from his face, and the voice you hear is yours.

“You.”

Me? What do you mean you ‘want me’?? You thought in distress. You’re not sure if that’s a good thing, or if you liked that answer.

“I still don’t… know what you mean by that. Do you want me so y-you can hurt me? Torture me? Put me through some Decepticon experiment? Wh–?!”

The last word turns into a high-pitched squeal as Soundwave lifts you off the ground and brings you close to his face. He isn’t viewing you like he did before, instead steadily bringing you closer and closer. His faceless appearance frightens you, and with alarm you feel like he’s about to squash you against his face- like he was trying to eat you, if he had a mouth. Your panicked breaths turn into a yelp, covering your face and your body seizing up.

You jolt when you feel his visor pressing to the entire side of your body, keenly aware of how much you’re trembling when you’re pressed against this wall that was his face. You kept your eyes shut, feeling him press you further into him, whimpers escaping you.

… But nothing happens. Instead, Soundwave starts moving his face against you, up and down in a rhythmic motion. It’s gentle, careful- he isn’t trying to hurt you. The pressure his hand is putting on you is only just enough to slightly squish you against him, and you feel like a plush toy with your cheek smooshed on his visor. A soft, smooth, deep sound emits from within him, strong enough that it shakes you, but low enough that it isn’t overwhelming. Like an engine revving.

Is he. Nuzzling you?

You open one eye, the other shut from the decepticon’s face rubbing. “Whuh- what’s happening,”

You try to push off his face to make room for yourself, but this only makes Soundwave press you back into his face, this time nuzzling you from left to right.

You sputter, your nose and mouth pressing against him from his motion, before he finally pulls his face away from you, his shoulders bouncing with what might’ve been laughter.

Your puzzled face was clear on his visor.

“I like you.” He says. “I like - Y/n.”

Now that really confused you. You could accept him wanting you for nefarious reasons, even for personal ones but- was Soundwave liking you the reason he took you? You can’t believe it, even as the man in question has his fingers on your cheek again, tickling you and making you close your eyes again from his obsessive petting.

You get a moment to speak when his petting finally stops. You could feel the redness and heat radiating from your cheek from where Soundwave pressed his face on you.

“S-so… you don’t want to hurt me,” you clarify. You had to make sure.

Soundwave shakes his head. “No.”

Phew. That was a relief. You were still on the Decepticon warship of course- but at least your kidnapper wasn’t here to harm you.

There were others on the ship though, who you’re sure aren’t fond of humans.

You simmer in that thought, looking away from Soundwave, who patiently waits for you to say something. You let him thumb you, stroking your hair down placatingly. You have to admit to yourself, it was working more than you thought it would.

You sigh out the heaviness in your chest, and turn back to Soundwave. You open your mouth, hesitating for a second.

“Promise,” you say, “promise you won’t hurt me? Promise you won’t let anyone hurt me,”

You knew there was no way you could really demand something from a Decepticon, your difference in size astronomical, not to mention in strength. But you hoped Soundwave liked you enough that he would honor your request.

Soundwave stares silently, it was impossible to tell what he was thinking. But you notice his head tilting imperceptibly downwards. You aren’t sure if it was a nod, or just a small movement indicating he was thinking about it.

For now, it was enough.

[bronx-bomber87]

I know we’re all struggling with this endless hiatus and the lack of new content, so I thought it would be fun to resurrect the #chenfordchats that were circling around the fandom earlier this year. We previously did a question on favorite Tim Bradford quotes, so this time let’s do Lucy! What are your favorite 3-5 (or more if you want) Lucy Chen quotes from the entire series 😊

This does feel endless doesn't it? Not sure why this hiatus has felt longer than when we had the writers strike. That didn't have an end date for a long time. We have one for this one and it's felt worse. Probably because of all the BTS being withheld for now. We're all starving for content of any kind they'll give us. They've been restricted from sharing much of anything. So we're going little stir crazy. 47 days to go LOL We can do it.

This was not easy because these asks never are but always fun. Appreciate the challenge of them. Here we go. These aren't in any particular order BTW. Except by season cause I can't help but organize it. So maybe they are in a specific order ha But not one of ranking by any means. Also I'm not so good at staying within the numbers lmao I suck at it really. So I just did ones I love and I'm probably forgetting some I love but hopefully not.

If I am missing any feel free to do this as well or let me know your favs in the comments. Also these come with commentary cause I am me after all ahaha Was hard to find quotes I love that aren't just Chenford related but Lucy too if that makes sense. That's real hard cause they're so intertwined lol Anyways this is my crack at it please enjoy and don't hesitate to comment should you like to. Also feel free to participate as well more fun when people join in :)

1x01-What's not to love about her opening line as a character? So confident and ready to go. Look at her. Love everything about this line. Confidence rolling off her as she says. Hasn't been squashed yet by her future soulmate....

1x03-I LOVE this line for how it lands with Tim. But mainly we get to see the early sparks of confident Lucy putting Tim in his place. Standing up for herself. Because if she doesn't her career is going up in flames along with Tim's epic flameout. Telling him like it is and I love her for it.

1x07-Another amazing line that lands so well. This is an iconic scene but this line right here. This IMO is what keeps Tim from crossing that line. It's so spot on. She went out on a major limb and it pays off. Just love this line in particular.

2x01-Are we sensing a theme? LOL It was accidental. But I do love Lucy putting my boy in his place when warranted. Standing up for herself in the process. Straight up owns his ass in this argument with dem fighting words. Love her for it.

2x08-Always love watching her fierce loyalty come out despite rank. heh I love this line. Because once again calling someone out on their crap. Why we love our girl so much isn't it? So many reasons but this is definitely one of them.

2x10-Our poor girl so very frustrated with dating especially as a cop. This is an epic line that I don't think gets enough love. Cracks me up so much.

2x11-Love me some BAMF Lucy. It's one of my favs. The fierceness she shows not only saying this line. But making sure she makes eye contact with Caleb when she delivers it. I love her so much. We all know how true this statement ended up.

3x05-This seems like two quotes in one cause it kinda is. Already breaking the rules as is so here we are haha Fiercely protective Lucy reporting for duty with this quote. Loved it so much. She gonna beat your ass Stanton.

3x07-This line will never cease to crack me up. She owns his ass this entire episode really. It's one giant mic drop for her. This one is one of my all time favs of that ep and in general. I dare you to watch that scene let alone that ep and not be laughing.

4x16-Her reply to Tim's reaction makes me cackle. Her comedic timing is perfection. She is fed up with her hubby at this point and it makes me laugh so much. Goes from playful to over it immediately.

4x22-Lucy's reaction to Juicy is an all time fav. She was having fun messing with Tim over Dim till then. Her replies are so funny I love this quote for how much it makes me laugh every time. She is disturbed and not having fun anymore. LOL

5x12-Such an iconic way to drive her point home with this epic line. No more needed to be explained after this line. I adore this quote and the way she delivers it to Tim.

Lucy Chen is me when i'm prepping for anything with my anxiety. This cracked me up so very hard. Also couldn't find a gif of this glorious line. So just edited down a gif I did ha but I adore this line for how much I related with it LOL She is me when I am prepping.

That's all folks. Hope you enjoyed my rambles. Feel free to comment or do your own that would be fun to see others do it as well. Best part of fandom doing stuff like this. Seeing what everyone loves.

[scar-lie]

Crazy Love {Natasha}

Summary : Your love from a certain redhead leads you to something unpleasant

Pairing : Natasha Romanoff x Fem ! Raeder

Warning : Blood Torture, Bad writing

Word Count : 2,568

Crazy Love Pt. 2

Crazy Love Pt. 3 Ver. 1

Crazy Love Pt. 3 Ver. 2

Cherrylemontober

NO one has permission to repost my work anywhere, if you see it please let me know.

You were sitting in the bar drinking whiskey while watching Natasha across from the room, She was having fun talking with Mr. America, Captain Steve Rogers, while getting handsy, it makes your blood boiled

Steve and Natasha have been dating for a year and a month now, but you love her, you're crazy in love to her, that you can kill anyone or everyone just for her nor yourself, you can do that in order for her to love you

But the thing is she's not into you, you already confess to her 2 years ago but she rejected you, saying that she didn't love you and she just see you as a friend and that's it

You try to make her fall in love with you but her heart is already for Steve, at first it was ok for you, saying that it's better to be friends rather than to lose her, so you just let it and try to move on

But the thing is, the more your with her, spending time together and the day passes the more your falling in love to her, that it made you crazy, crazier more than what you think

You already kill mens before for her, because you to are still best friends and she thinks that you already moved on, she always ranting about everything that happened to her life and what she want in the future

That lead to her telling you that a particular men are trying to get to her pants and just disrespect her, you always comfort her and and be there for her, until the ranting about mens hitting on her and harassing her happened frequently that it mess with your head

But the most mess with your head and made you even crazier is when she rant about a particular men raping her, not once nor twice, it's more than thrice

So what you did is asked her about the names of other mens she didn't tell you, once you got it you hunt them down and kill them, in a hard way

You torture them before killing them, you will tied them down in a metal bed or just in pole and you start to hit them, punch, kick, slit them, stab and twist the knife in their flesh, carving words in their skin, use electric shock, puddle them etc. but the worst it, you cutting what's between their legs

Making them beg for your forgiveness of what they did that they didn't know at why you were doing it to them, seeing them in that kind of situation makes a relief on you, telling your self that they will never ever touch your girl 

After your finished them them you clear thing up, leaving no evidence that your the one who made those and just throw them somewhere and them a few days, they will on the news where all your team watch

You always make sure that you carved a words in their skin like, Rapist, harassing or any word that what they did to my girl, letting other people know what they did once they already found

"Hello, earth to Y/N!" You snap out of your thoughts when Wanda your bestfriend snap her fingers in front of your face

"Yes?" you asked looking at her

"I said are you ok? your lost in your thoughts!" she said drinking her Pina colada, you just send her a small smile

"Yeah I'm ok, just minding my business!" you said and gulp your whiskey then order a new one, but it was Gin tonic

"Penny of it?' she asked chuckling and you chuckled to it while shaking your head

"No thank you Wands, but it's better to keep it only on me" she nod sipping her drink with a smile

"Whatever you say, I know you can handle that you're Y/n Y/L/n for God sake, you can do everything" she compliment you and the bartender slide your drink in front of you

You smile and nod humming then sip on your drink, what she didn't know how dark is in your mind, recalling what you did to those mens with a smile on

"Anyways, I have to go, Vis and I will get out of here" she said and Tap your cheeks and hug you, you return the hug and smile at her, then she leave with a wave

So now you're alone again in the bar but you don't care, you just watch your girl until you see she was heading out so when she got out you follow her behind, not to close for her to notice but not to far for you to slip her out of your sight

Until she go outside and answer a phone call, you just watch her talking in the phone until she's finished, she just stay there for a minute until a guy come to her and getting handsy

The guy is clearly drunk and Natasha try to get him off of her until he's harassing her, putting more force and it makes your blood boiled so you step in on the two and pull Natasha in your embrace

"Get the fuck off of her!" you hissed in pure anger and give him a glare, Natasha got behind you hiding, sure you're smaller than her but you're capable of everything, even beath this guy who's 6 flat tall

"And what are you gonna do, kid? beat me? your noth-" you cut him immediately and punched him in the stomach that make him crouched down and you punched his nose pretty hard that it dislocate and bleed

"What are you saying!?!? you hissed and kick him making him lay in the ground then you start to kick him over and over again

You just stop when Natasha stop you, she pull you off of him and make you look at her, she cup your face and caressed your cheeks with her thumb

"Hey, hey calm down, I'm fine..........let's just............let's just got inside ok?" she said softly and all your anger wash away once you look at her emerald eyes

"Ok.." you said and you both got inside but you take one last look on him and you see her laying in the ground unconscious, you smirk at it thinking you will got him later

once you both in the party again you just again watch her in Steve embrace, if you can rip Steve's head you will just to get your girl but you can't, Natasha loves him so much that you can't just take her happiness away, sure you're crazy for her but you still want her to be happy 

The team and other people just there partying so when you know that the team are so engage to the party you quickly get out and see he's still there unconscious, so you pick him up over your shoulder and go to the forest near the compound where you always kill every men lay who lay their fingers on your girl

Once you got in there you tie his ankle in the floor and tie his both wrist, once he's already tied up, you take off the blazer of your suit and rest it in the chair in the corner, you smirk at him and take a bucket of cold water with come cube ice then pour it om him making him jolt awake, gasping for air

"Well, well well, look like I gonna have some fun tonight" you said and crouched down to his level

All his drunkenness wah away and look in your eyes with confusion, you smirk at him and he start to get free, he look down and see he's all tied up, he look back up to you with confusion and fear on his eyes

"Wh-what is this about?" you stand up and go to the wall and table where all your weapons are, you chuckled at him and take a pocket knife, your favorite pocket knife off of the table

"To entertain myself?" you said with a question and turn around to look at him with a smirk and you twirl your pocket knife in your hand

"Wh-what are gonna do to me?" he asked scared of you, you chuckled darkly and slowly walk towards him

He became to shake his head and his body shaking, once you're in front of him you just slice his right cheek, it bleed down to his cheeks to his neck that make him scream

You just continue to torture him, and him begging for you to stop and forgiveness of whatever he did but you didn't buy it you just continue to torture him

In the other side Natasha is looking for you but she can't find you, she noticed your sudden action few months ago, so she's observing you for over 3 months now, she noticed some changes on you

So tonight she put a tracker on your suit before you got in the party, she and Wanda is planning to find out what's up with you, and tonight is the night they will find out

"Where's Y/N?" Wanda asked to Nat, Natasha just shrug and bring her phone out to see where are you

"I don't know, she just vanished again!" Natasha said and they go out and look where you at

Once they see where you are in Nat's phone they frown at where you at, in the middle of the forest near at the compound, they look at each other with confusion

"What is she doing in the middle of the forest at this hour?" Wanda asked, Nat just shook her head

"I don't know but I have a bad feeling of this one!" Nat said looking at what direction your at

"Well, there's only one way to find out!" Nat mumbled but Wanda can still hear it

"Well, let's go!" Wanda said and Nat nod and they start to go where you are

Once they already found an old house, she take a deep breath and look at the house, they look at each other, wondering why are you here

"Are you sure this is where she is?" Wanda asked looking at the old house, Nat not and look at her phone to confirm this is the destination

"Yeah, this is the place Wands" Wanda nod and they start to go in the house

"This is scary Nat" Wanda mumbled

"Don't worry, W-" Nat stop with a loud scream coming from the underground

"AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" they heard an agonizing scream

There face got paled and they quickly run in the underground but still careful, once they at the door they stop

"Are you sure about this?" Wanda whisper asked and Nat look at her and nod

"We need to go in ok, in count to 3!" Nat whisper and Wanda nod

"1...........2..........3" Nat said and slowly open the door and they come in

Then there you are full of blood, your white suit are now full of blood, Wanda and Nat eyes winded when they see you

"Y/-Y/N?" and mumbled and you turn your head to them with a smile still holding a knife

Nat stay her eyes on you and Wanda look at the man in front of you who was dead and cuts all over his body, with a word carved in his left thigh, 'Harassing'

"What is this about Y/n?" Nat asked and put Wanda behind her, scared of what will you do to them

"This is for you, my love!" you said and start to walk towards her but Nat stop you

"No, stay where you are!" Nat said holding Wanda's wrist in her back

"Ok" you obligate and just stay where you are

"Why did you killed him?" Wanda asked and Nat look at the guy, once she saw the carved word it click to her, it click everything

"For Nat" you just simply said and drop the knife on the floor

Nat look at you again with fear and disbelief, she shook her head not wanting to believe what she think, she bite her lips and find a courage to asked you

"Are you the one who killed those mens in the news?" She whisper asked but you can still heard it, you smile at the thought of it and nod

"Yeah, I did all of it just for you!" you said, Nat shook her head and tears stream down her cheeks, she can't believe it

"Why?" she asked with a shaky voice, you chuckled at it

"Because they lay a hand on you, they are the one who harassed you, raped you, and everything, they deserved it, no one can lay a hand on my love!" you said an walk towards them

They hold their breath until your in front of them, they get a better look on your face, your eyes are soft and warm, your whole face are full of blood, Nat and Wanda shook their head of what they see

"Don't cry my love, no one can hurt, I promised that!" you whisper and caress her cheek and wipe her tears with your bloody hands, Nat shook her head at it and close her eyes

"Ge-get away from us!" she whisper and you obligate you step a few backwards, then they look at you again

"I told you, I don't love you like that, I just see you as a friend, please stop this please!" Nat said and beg for you to stop this, You shook your head at it

"I know, you will learn to love me" I whisper and she hook her head

"I'm sorry Y/N but please, stop this, I can't love you like you wanted, I just love you as a friend!" it stings your heart so much, that you practically did everything for her but that's not enough to love you back and can't have the girl you wanted and love the most

"Just choose me, love me, I promise I'll give you the world jus-" you explained but your team barge in here

"What the fu-"Tony stop himself when he see the situation, all the team eyes winded and quickly get their weapons are and just be ready if you attack them

You chuckled at it and look at all of them, you see that all of them are looking at you in disbelief and they can't truly believe what they saw then there he is, Steve Rogers pulling Natasha behind him

"Just love me" you said looking at Nat's eyes and she shook her head and hide behind him

"Care to explained this madness Y/N?" Steve asked and you chuckled darkly, you didn't say anything so Wanda told them everything, at the end of it, they look at you shocked, they lower their weapons

"You don't have to do that Y/N, you can still changed!" Steve said and You shook your head 

"I don't think you!" you said with a chuckled

"Just let us help you, surrender yourself to us, we can help you!" Tony said but you just chuckled

"Please" Wanda beg but you shake your head

"I'm not stupid Stark, then what will happen if I surrender? gonna put me in the cell call fury them what? he will put guards on me and at the end of this you will kill me!" you said shaking your head with a chuckled

"No thank you!" you said looking at them and they already ready to attack you

"Then you leave us no choice!" Bucky said and they gonna attack you but you know every way in this house so you throw them a gas bomb and quickly get out there

You can't let them catch you, and you will never gonna get back to those hell cell, never in your life

[listleven]

Law of ASSUMPTION

Its YOU. Whatever YOU assume to be true. Manifesting is so natural. My favorite way to manifest is to deny, deny, deny, anything telling me otherwise. And you might think I’m being delusional or think this is a method I use to manifest. But why? You see from the moment I decided I had somethin then it became true. Me denying anything showing me otherwise, was just me knowing it happened and not giving power to anything else. It wasn’t me deluding myself. The 3d doesn’t matter. I can easily wave it off by saying it conforms instantly and I don’t care anyway bc I already have what I want. Because I quite literally do. Im not gaslighting myself. Im gaslighting my logic. I mean what part of manifestation is instant did we not understand?

The last of the logic tying us down. I quite literally do not care for the 3d or to even say that I’m manifesting, no I manifested. I mean I’m always manifesting but this particular thing already happened and if something already happened would you be worried about it not happening? Isn’t that ridiculous to you?

If you think you need to change subconscious beliefs, then you do. If you think you need to perform delta waves, then you do. If you think listening to that subliminal continuously will work for you then it will. But it comes down to what you assume. If you think you need to get rid of resistance then you do. If you think that paid service will help you it will. If you assume there is no difference in affirming to get and affirming to remind there isn’t.. If you think listening to subliminalinals while asleep will work then it will. If you think SATs will work then it will. BECAUSE U MADE IT WORK BY ASSUMINE IT WOULD.

The law is the only thing there is. It can counter anything if you assume it can.

The 3d not showing you what you want? Assume it is. It’s always showing you what you want. And you don’t care to hear otherwise.

Your limiting beliefs holding you back? Assume it’s not. You just created this concept to hold you back lol. You’re so powerful like that. Your beliefs don’t make any difference you always get what you want instantly.

Been affirming for a while and don’t feel fulfilled? Assume you are!! Girl please you and me both know that worked and because you are completely in control. Let’s be for real.

The law not clicking for you? Assume it did. It already clicked for you. You already accepted yourself as the creator of your life and manifest instantly.

Not seeing movement? Assume you are. What are we talking about right now. Everything is always conforming to us.

Our assumptions make our reality not our circumstances.

No matter what problem you have it can be solved by assuming it away because that is the law. Everything else we made up. Why try so hard for something that happens instantly. An assumption is a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof. The key to manifesting is accepting something as true or certain to happen without proof. Assuming. You accepted having your desire as true or certain to happen without proof. So it happened/is true.

Here is a little exercise for the next time you feel like it’s not going to work. Affirm “I assumed it would happen so of course it (did/will/is) my assumptions create reality, so (whatever is bothering you) doesn’t matter I don’t need any proof to know I (am right, have everything you want, or whatever it is you assumed). You are not saying this to insinuate the process you are saying this CAUSE ITS FUCKING TRUE.

An assumption is a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof.

An assumption is a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof.

An assumption is a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof.

An assumption is a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof.

An assumption is a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof.

An assumption is a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof.

An assumption is a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof.

DO U GET WHAT IM SAYING. YOU DONT NEED ANY PROOF FOR IT TO BE REAL YOU SAID IT WAS REAL AND SO IT WAS. Do understand how many loop holes you can create with this. We all have this power. To make anything real/true without proof. Just because we said it was. Your assumptions create reality just because they do. So anytime you panic and are like wait why isn’t happening remember that it already did. Something is true real as soon as you say it is and that’s it.

*ahem ahem*

~with love, Jyspire

[songbird-and-her-fos]

My anxiety has been acting up today so here is Emmrich taking care of Rook when being the hero starts wearing them down.

The Weight of the World

Emmrich/NB!Rook

Rook is only mortal, and the weight of the world resting on their shoulders takes its toll, no matter how hard they try to hide it.

-

Evening fell over Thedas, at least as far as the inhabitants of the Lighthouse would be able to tell, and Emmrich had noticed Rook being suspiciously absent during the day. They never missed meals, or training, or the book club otherwise, so it was even more noticable, like there was a big, Rook-shaped hole whenever everyone got together. Even during days where they needed some solitude to recharge, they usually sought out Emmrich at least *once*.

He found his suspicion confirmed when Manfred came clattering into the room, looking as alarmed as someone without facial muscles could. “Rook. Not well.”

There was no answer when Emmrich knocked on the door to Rook’s room.

“Darling? Is everything alright?” Again, no reply.

He slowly pushed down the doorhandle and entered, finding Rook on the chaise they usually slept on, bundled up in several blankets. It took a moment for Emmrich to realize that they were doing the breathing exercises usually taught to young necromancers, to help the mind settle. Only that Rook didn’t look settled in the least; their face was ashen, with bloodshot, glossy eyes staring at nothing in particular.

Emmrich closed the door behind him and approached Rook. “Dearest?”

Rook flinched out of their exercise, and their eyes focused on him. “E-Emmrich. Did you knock? I didn’t hear you. Sorry, I’m a bit of a mess at the moment-” They were speaking so fast that they were stumbling over their words.

“Rook”, Emmrich said, voice firmer now. “Breathe.”

Their shoulders tensed. “I tried. It didn’t help. I’m not usually like this, I’ve never-” They gripped the blankets to pull them tighter around themself, and Emmrich noticed how badly their hands were shaking.

It was a woefully familiar state to Emmrich; ice-cold, unsoothable fear. He sat next to them, disentangling one of their hands from the fabric so he could hold it between his. It was cold and clammy with sweat, and shivering even now. “Tell me what happened, darling.”

“Nothing happened. It came out of nowhere last night, like I just now realized what’s happening and what could happen if I don’t do everything right. All of the ways everything could go wrong.”

Woefully familiar indeed.

“Is this why you have been hiding in here all day?”

Rook slumped against him, as if all the tension had suddenly left their body, leaving only a boneless pile of misery. “I can’t let the others see me like this. They trust me, they have to. And how could they if they saw me right now?”

“I don’t think they would judge you. I know I don’t.” His thumb stroked the back of their hand. “Just like you have never judged any of us for our troubles.” But as he spoke, Emmrich actually considered his words. Yes, none of their companions would judge Rook. But none of them had ever asked about their wellbeing, either, and to his shame, he had to include himself in that. And he also knew that no amount of talking or rationalising could drive away the terror Rook was feeling at the moment.

“Tell me that everything’s going to be okay”, Rook muttered. “Even if it’s a lie. Just tell me-”

“There is no guarantee for that”, he responded gently, wrapping one arm around their shoulders and pulling them close. “But everyone knows how hard you work. If things go wrong, it won’t be a failing on your part.”

Rook smiled shakily. “Somehow, that helps to know. Thank you.” A short moment of silence followed, before Rook spoke again:”Can you stay with me tonight?”

Emmrich pulled them closer, turning his torso so he could embrace them with both arms. “I wouldn’t dream of leaving you alone in this state, darling.”

[lylahammar]

(Feel the need to state this up front: I'm bisexual, afab, kinda cis but also kinda trans, nonbinary isn't the word I'd use for myself but... alas, it's the only one people recognize as a general consensus)

I've started to understand why the term sapphic is more appealing to some people, but it still really bothers me as a descriptor/category. When talking to a friend about it (she strongly prefers Sapphic as a term), I started to sus out why:

The vast majority of my initial exposure to the term was always attached to something... aesthetic? Stories or art or music, but of a specific *type*. To the point where it gained a hyperspecific meaning of a period or historical setting, "gay woman trapped in comphet marriage and needs to be saved by bold lesbian", young girls fooling around with girls with no need for commitment because everything is fleeting and nothing is permanent and choices dont matter... on their own, these are perfectly fine narrative choices and are fun to play in sometimes, but they sure start to just seem... repetitive and restrictive and borderline fetishizing. To me, it reads as a term specifying that the love women feel for other women is the only kind allowed, that it's true and pure in a way the love a woman feels for a man isnt, and that her true self can never be realized without admitting she was in love with women since the beginning and was always supposed to be. Achillean gives me the exact same vibe.

On the other hand, my friend feels the term is *less* specific, and to her it allows *more* room for people who don't identify strictly as feminine or as a lesbian, for her it just is a broad umbrella term that allows for any variation of girl-identifying-person who likes girl-identifying-people.

Ultimately, I don't think she's wrong, and I don't know that my interpretation is right. But I think I've been exposed to a.... imma call it a "hyper-aggressive romanticization" of a particular way of existing that just puts me on edge in a way that's hard to explain to people who don't feel the same way about it. I don't think there's anything wrong with romanticizing something like that it's just that... for me, who still identifies as a woman despite being om T, who is married to a cis woman, etc... it feels ironically exclusionary and fetishizing, and mostly feels fantastical and escapist, rather than grounded in anything real.

TL:DR, it feels like a book genre, not a usable term/identifier

Ohhhhh okay I see I wasn't sure if there was something actually problematic about the term that I wasn't aware of, that sounds like it's just a preference based off of the vibes of the way some people use it

honestly I prefer sapphic and achillean because the terms "wlw" and "mlm" are so clunky and hard to say and sound goofy in my brain lmao not to mention the fact that mlm has a separate negative meaning that gets mixed up a lot

and the term "lesbian" is very specific and doesn't apply to all women who are attracted to women

so like....... idk I guess it sucks that some people have given the term sapphic a bad association for some but I'm gonna keep usin it if that's the only reason why bc I don't really care about all that and if ppl know me then they'll be able to tell that I'm not being a weirdo about it lol

[justablah56]

they should invent a job that I can do and I don't have to drive super far to get to

[silusvesuius]

g*lmar rly has to be the best skajrim character on the real like even if you don't like him he just is . literally The best one i think......... on dat note i also imagine that he and ulfr*c despite being fairydust BFFs for lyfe genuinely have the worst communication skills ever seen

[icewindandboringhorror]

Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)

[gamebunny-advance]

Random Thought

So, a while back I posted a pic of all the Pokemon dudes that I like despite knowing basically nothing about Pokemon, and it's become a very shocking fact to me that despite their apparent popularity, the train dudes do basically nothing in their home game.

[chiropteracupola]

the amount of time I spend on tumblr dot com has given me quite the set of standards when it comes to artworks on the theme of 'Trans Angel', and actual museums are failing to meet those standards quite spectacularly.

[hauntingblue]

Choose your favourite reaction

[jon-withnoh]

There have been too many big life events in the past week. I am sleeping so badly. My brain is not processing.

[roylustang]

IM WRITING MY FIC AND ITS HURTING MY BRAIN

[vaguely-concerned]

that last scene in fatal journey where nie huaisang has to support nie mingjue for him to keep upright, harrowhark's arc in harrow the ninth*, and the 'O, let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heaven/Keep me in temper: I would not be mad' line from king lear all break my heart in exactly the same way. that precise thread of the ultimate, hopeless vulnerability and confusion that's at the heart of madness -- of realizing in glimpses that you won't even realize how far you've drifted from yourself and that you don't know how to stop it, you can't stop it. that's such a core part of nie mingjue to me, and I don't feel like I've seen a lot of real discussion around it considering how central I think it is to his character.

*also like harrow, nie mingjue is both 'mad' (im mentally ill. I'm reclaiming it. sometimes that does feel like exactly the right word for it) and also like. severely haunted. by a sword even lmao. they've even got the 'crushing weight of shouldering the responsibility of their entire house given to them at way too early an age under horrifically traumatizing circumstances' same hat/same hat! thing going on here. omg. nie mingjue is like if harrow was a big sensitive jock who cries at the drop of a hat and harrow is like if nie mingjue was a small wet ratwoman who does bones and catholic guilt. but the core is basically the same. I can't believe I'm right about this.

[sevicia]

It makes me upset to see people calling AI stupid or just straight up saying "fuck AI" (even though it's in an art context) because it's like... I know and understand that the hate is directed at how it's being used currently and that people maybe just don't care like I do about this but it's upsetting because that's WORK. Not in a monetary sense at all but what everyone knows as AI didn't just sprout from the ground one day, it's decades of dedication and learning and development and collaboration to make a tool with the intention of making life better regardless of any one individual's intentions and it just makes me sad that there's so much panic around it, both from the whole "being replaced" thing that comes from waaay way back and also the very real concerns regarding generative AI. Like I can't just go up to someone and say "hey, isn't this cool?!" and expect them to understand I'm talking about AI as a tool and a product of passion and collaboration over time rather than a quick easy fix for when you want to see yourself as an anime character without having to learn to respect art first. I don't knowww it just makes me so so sad that something so beautiful is viewed in such a negative and strange light because the entire world refuses to slow down for a single second