#why is everything always a reference to ten's season with rose

[bittybuttersliceontoast]

every day i pray for doctor who to stop neglecting companions other than rose and doctors other than ten and every day RTD spits in my face and says "more Rose angst"

I just want Martha or Bill or Rory or, god forbid, 11-13 to be treated with respect 😭

[undescribed1mage]

breaking down my doctor who playlist by what from the show they remind me of the most <3

As The World Caves In by Matt Maltese — The Doctor & The Master, more specifically in The End of Time Part One & Two & Last Of The Time Lords. but also. just. vibes (vibes about the doctor holding the saxon master after he was shot).

Happy Xmas (War Is Over) by John Lennon — All of the Christmas specials but mainly, again, The End of Time part one & two. & . everything about that.

Two Birds by Regina Spektor — The Master and The Doctor, again (they're awful), but also twelve & clara with the bird symbolism and clara leaving when he tried to save her, clara being brave and letting go, and Jack & Torchwood &. everything with that (i've never seen Torchwood but I still know like. most of what happens)

Memories by Conan Gray — Martha Jones, specifically in the episodes after her season (also Jack in seasons 3 & 4). With 'It's been a couple months / that's just about enough time / for me to stop crying when I look at all the pictures / now i kinda smile / i haven't felt that in awhile'. 'You see / it's hard to find an end to something that you keep beginning / over and over again.'

I Know The End by Phoebe Bridgers — Ten's era, with different companions for different parts like — "When I get back I'll lay around / then i'll get up and lay back down / romanticize a quiet life / there's no place like my room." with Donna at the end of Journey's end, and "Out in the park we watch the sunset / talking on a rusty swing set / after awhile you got quiet / and i got mean / always pushing you away from me / but you come back with gravity / and when I call / you come home / a bird in your teeth." (the last line specifically with the fact that Jack was Supposed to be in a good man goes to war). I also think it works very well with The End Of Time Part One & Two & just. the world almost ending at the end of s4

Your Sister Was Right by Wilbur Soot — You know how like. every mother during the RTD (pt1) era slapped the doctor at some point? yeah. just. the doctor in reference 2 rose, martha, & donna & their mothers. as well as the doctor thinking that they're bad news which is something that comes up quite a bit with these songs.

Why Didn't You Stop Me? by Mitski — I don't really know how to explain this one it just. gives me ex-companion vibes, specifically with 'I look for a picture of you / to keep in my pocket / but i can't seem to find one / where you look how I remember'.

Long Live by Taylor Swift — In reference to a companion departure, from the Doctor's pov with 'will you take a moment? / promise me this / that you'll stand by me forever / but if, god forbid, fate should step in / and force us into a goodbye / if you have children someday / when they point to the pictures / please tell them my name.' & 'i had the time of my life fighting dragons with you.' I think, if we're going for a specific companion, it's very the Doctor & Donna coded.

Walking All Day by Graham Coxon — something about how multiple companions have followed the Doctor to the end of the universe (specifically martha & jack but I think it could also work with clara) & how devoted companions are to them, especially the ones that are interested in him romantically (that one rory quote that's him talking about how the doctor makes people want to impress them).

Never Love An Anchor by The Crane Wives — Part of my interpretation with this when it comes to Doctor Who is how the Doctor, after losing a companion, is always 'i will never love again this is the end for me...' & then he meets the next companion & does it all over again (& in specific situations, such as Donna & Amy & Susan & Vicki, they're very similar to the person he just lost), and also how awful ten was to Martha (& Jack) & oblivious to most of it because of the loss of Rose (it's a secret i keep tucked inside my chest / with this heart of mine that's guilty not remorseful / there is love that doesn't have a place to rest / but it would've buried you if it had settled on your shoulders). The Doctor just also (as seen in the Church On Ruby Road) just thinks they're bad news in general (no comment from my end on this) &. yeah

Two paragraphs for this one! The second interpretation I have is specifically the first doctor after the loss of Susan, and how he was (for the end of their time together, which was what we saw in Susans serials) very hard on her especially for her last two serials. Also, him leaving her behind & 'so I did the only thing that I could / and severed the rope that set you sailing from my harbor'. I don't have a lot to say about this but. the doctor & susan make me so :(

Be Safe, Be Good (For Rachel) from Ride The Cyclone — do you ever think about how many deaths (companions or otherwise) (no spoilers please i'm on series ten for nuwho & season two (soon to be three!) of classic who so) the doctor has caused. indirectly or directly. do you ever think about clara & how her family and her students will likely never know what happened to her. do you ever think

Blue Lips by Regina Spektor — originally when i added this to the playlist (back when i was first making it, probably around me watching series five) i had intended it to be about the doctor but now i think it's more about ashildr / lady me and how much she's seen and how much she's lost. she forgets anything she hasn't written down (and rips pages of things she wants to forget out) and she's seen the world in most of it's phases, she's seen societies crumble and rise &. yeah

The Main Character by Will Wood — I have so much 2 say about this one. buckle in. i'm that first person they talk about in all the books.' him being referenced in literally the first episode of torchwood (for valid reasons he is a very important part of jacks story). & 'imagine if protagonists just died in the first scene.' cut to jacks death in everything changes. & 'I loot plot armor from NPCs / well they are to me.' again. the amount of people that have tried to help him & died. specifically one off ones. & 'Villains are everywhere / that's how I know that I'm a hero.' yhe battle of canary wharf. enough said. & 'Her majesty says the royal we demand a stander of loyalty / an agreement to be reverent / link the emperor's new boots' something about tooth & claw. + so much more that i don't feel like elaborating on rn !!!! they even mention daleks in the song <3

Right Where You Left Me by Taylor Swift — SARAH. JANE. SMITH. It is so her coded. The way the doctor left her, and how in School Reunion she talked about how the Doctor was her life (such a good episode btw). & . she was just waiting. for him 2 come back. & . godddd. i'd break down these lyrics too but i'd be saying the same thing (basically just what i've already said) about all of them so. just listen 2 it or look up the lyrics & you'll see.

Thinking About A Potentially Awkward Interaction With An Old Friend by Crywank — another ex-companion song !!! I don't have any in particular for this but i feel like whenever past companions return for an episode or two it's never nearly as awkward as it should've been, especially with Martha & Sarah Jane, especially how much the tenth doctor had grown (& how much Martha had grown !!!) in between s3 & s4 Alone !!!! 'Well memories sure / they're precious / that's true / but I don't want to make any new ones with you' is sooo Martha. & 'It would be nice to underline it / but i know we're both doing fine without the other in our life.' & ESPECIALLY 'yes / time away has taught me that I like this distance from you'.

River Like You by Maya Hawke — the riverdoctorjack polycule is insane. man. & this is on here for them <3 i think a lot about how jack's other male love interests at least vaguely resemble the ninth doctor in some ways, and how he & river are both immortals so they'd be the perfect people to travel with. & how the doctor tries, at times, to separate himself from both of them (much more severe with jack). 'i've loved a river like you before / i'm a river too'.

Motion Sickness by Phoebe Bridgers — Martha Jones deserves to be SO bitter about how the doctor treated her. SO bitter. 'you said when you met me you were bored.' & 'i have emotional motion sickness / i try to stay clean and live without.' & . yeah. martha jones you will always be famous. also 'and while you're bleeding on your back in the glass / i'll be glad that i made it out / & i'm sorry that it all went down like it did.' in reference to the end of time part two.

Smoke and Mirrors by Emily Rohm — certain parts of it. are kind've the like traditional backstory for a companion (with nuwho) like. 19-25 year old girl who lives with her parents & is bored of everyday life & still waiting for her life to begin & then the doctor comes along & she's swept away into time & space & now she's sosososo important !! + 'She walks alone every morning / down the same old street / and wonders how she let her days get stuck on this endless repeat / she wants that movie life / a hero comes to sweep her off her feet / they'll run away'. & there's other parts that could fit but generally. just the same idea

Black Sheep from Scott Pilgrim — 'Hello again, friend of a friend / knew you when / our common goal was waiting for the world to end / now that the truth is just a rule that you can bend / you crack the whip, shape-shift and trick the past again.' literally no other part of this song matters in reference to this playlist. it is just that & the fact that it reminds me of the master <3

The Lucky One by Taylor Swift — companions drive me so crazy btw. specifically companions after leaving the doctor. 'It was a few years later, I showed up here / and they still tell the legend of how you disappeared / how you took the money and your dignity and got the hell out / they say you bought a bunch of land somewhere / chose the Rose Garden over Madison Square / and it took some time, but I understand it now.' with a current companion thinking about a past companion. & just. idk. something about bad wolf & the girl who walked the earth & the most important woman in all of creation & the girl who waited & the impossible girl & so on. the lucky ones.

Mr. Perfectly Fine by Taylor Swift — I've realized that from this playlist it makes me seem like a swiftie but i'm not i just enjoy some of her music & mr perfectly fine is the most tenjack coded song in all of existence. nine being at the very least interested in jack, traveling with him & flirting with him & kissing him & then ten turning around & running away from him & calling him wrong ('mr change of heart'). 'oh he's so smug / mr always wins'. 'hello / mr casually cruel'. 'always at the right place at the right time'. 'he goes about his day / forgets he ever even heard my name' . & last. but oh so definitely not least. ''cause I hear he's got his arm 'round a brand-new girl / i've been pickin' up my heart, he's been pickin' up her / and I never got past what you put me through / but it's wonderful to see that it never phased you'. I am so emotional about doctorjack can you tell.

Viva La Vida by Coldplay (Covered by Annapantsu) — don't ask me why i didn't add the original version on here i just didn't feel like it. anyways. it reminds me a lot of elevens era, with a good man goes to war & rory's line about how he (the doctor) doesn't make people brave, he makes them want to impress him (SO TRUE KING !!!) & the day of the doctor. i think it could also work with the time war & eight & the war doctor (i've only listened 2 some of eighths audios, working my way through them rn). & Maybe the battle of Canary Wharf. just generally. the doctor. & war. & how he is respected. oh & also him being the PRESIDENT OF THE WORLD IN CRISIS ???

Soldier Poet King by The Oh Hellos — saw a post about this in relation 2 ninejackrose & it got me thinking. rory soldier eleven poet amy king. i think if you tried hard enough this template could fit a lpt of the tardis teams. that's all <3

Little Soldiers by The Crane Wives — the master & the doctor. again. 'on the broken backs of all the words we spared / like little soldiers in the trenches' we're gonna take the metaphors a little seriously here & i'm gonna mention how the doctor has a habit of turning companions into soldiers and fighters. & . again. he makes people want to impress him. i think the rest of the song is still very them but that's the only part that i really have anything to talk about (besides 'i swear that you loved me / i swear that i loved you).

Not Strong Enough by Boygenius — 'Always an angel, never a god / Aways an angel, never a god /Always an angel, never a god / Always an angel, never a god / Always an angel, never a god / Always an angel, never a god / Always an angel, never a god / Always an angel, never a god / Always an angel, never a god / Always an angel, never a god / Always an angel, never a god / Always an angel, never a god' is so. companions in general coded. why can't they just have a nice time :(

Nowhere Man by The Beatles — I think this may be one of the only songs on here that portrays the doctor in a semi positive light :-) !!! — oh wait nvm forgot the lyrics. sorry we're criticising the doctor again (i adore them i swear. what a guy) 'He's as blind as he can be / just sees what he wants to see' @ ten. sorry buddy. you're really being attacked in this post aren't you. 'Doesn't have a point of view / knows not where he's going to.' do you ever think about how the doctor just sort've. wanders aimlessly in between companions. like. sir how'd you end up in victorian london wearing amy's glasses. 'Nowhere man / the world is at your command.' They are PRESIDENT OF THE WORLD IN EMERGENCIES. UNIT why would you let them have this power.

Interplanet Janet from Schoolhouse Rock — Added as a joke . for the sillies of it <3

Partner in Crime by Madilyn Mei — another Jack song (can you tell he's my favorite companion) but only like. a certain part of it (i have not listened 2 it all the way through but i heard a clip from it & went oh my god jack harkness... & here we are). 'Run for it / I'll keep 'em occupied for you / 'cause i love you / i love you so / left me hangin' at the station / but you'll be back for me soon / i'm 'bout to die / yet the only thing i'm worried about is you / something tells me you aren't coming / i guess i'm truly doomed.' it is so INSANELY PARTING OF THE WAYS CODED !!! Me when he sacrificed himself for the doctor & rose me when he was so ready to die for them. me when he woke up from DEATH to the tardis dematerializing and leaving him surrounded by dead bodies so far away from his home (which is the tardis. but yk). he was about to die and the only thing he was worried about was them. something tells him they aren't coming. he guesses he's truly doomed. j just. raigdhdjdhhdjd. he drives me crazy.

Don't Look Back in Anger by Oasis — 'Please don't put your life in the hands of a rock 'n roll band / who'll throw it all away.' so. many. fatalities, tumblr. that's all.

Oh Distant You by Wilbur Soot — okay i've already written this specific part out but tumblr deleted it when i switched from the page that i had the next songs lyrics in so i'm just gonna take a photo of the lyrics that are SO ten post rose coded & hope you read them

am i the biggest tenrose fan? no :( not on their own, at least, however i will accept that he loved & adored her. he loved her So Much. she was the first face that face saw !!!! & there are other companions that this song could work with but in my head. it's a them song. (this would probably be like. at the end of the end of time part two. him thinking about this.)

The Ballad of Lucy Gray from The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes — i've never seen the ballad of songbirds and snakes (or consumed any hungergames media) however i do think that this song is clara coded <3 i can't really explain it but. amelia pond i love you dearly. i think that specifically 'it's sooner than later that I'm six feet under / it's sooner than later that you'll be alone / so who will you turn to tomorrow, I wonder? / for when the bell rings, lover, you're on your own'. her talking about how twelve needs to be on his own in face the raven. & how she needs him 2 understand that he cannot keep her from dying & that it's her time (he's already lost her at least twice, and that's just when we see her in the show). ''cause I am the one who looks out when you're leaping / I am the one who knows how you were brave / and I am the one who heard what you said sleeping / i'll take that and more when I go to my grave' i think this is more twelve or ashildr about her. & how she said 'let me be brave' before she died, and how she slowly became more daring after spending time with the doctor because that's just what he does (not gonna quote rory again but. yk) & how the original clara oswald (not oswin oswald or clara oswin oswald)s first appearance in the show was her standing over her own grave !!! 'Well, all right, I'm bad, but then, you're no prize either / Al right, I'm bad, but then, that's nothing new / You say you won't love me, I won't love you neither / Just let me remind you what I am to you.' clara, you are exactly what he deserves. & vice versa. they are both so awful & it is so insane. the doctorification of clara is so much worse than the other companions.

No One Lives Forever by Oingo Boingo — i . cannot explain this one. it is PURE vibes.

All My Little Words by The Magnetic Fields — last song (as of rn! there may have been more added by the time you're reading this) & surprise surprise. it's a doctorjack song. 'I could make you fly away / but i could never make you stay.' imagine you're jack harkness & the man you loved (& the only other immortal you know) is REPULSED by you. he keeps running away. 'You said you were in love with me / both of us know that that's impossible' i think this is from the doctors pov. it just seems like something he'd think. 'Now that you've made me want to die / you tell me that you're unboyfriendable' the tenth doctor after flirting by asking jack if he wants 2 die & then holding the man that tortured jack in his arms as he died in a similar fashion to jacks first death (being shot in some way). his ass Is Unboyfriendable

[my-mt-heart]

hi mt.

i’ve been reading your posts recently and you’ve been pretty critical towards zabel. as someone who’s watching the show i can’t disagree, there is much i don’t like, but you seem absolutely sure he isn’t acquainted with the original show (and even more so with caryl’s story), but whilst that’s true in terms of daryl’s character, i can’t really say about caryl.

what i mean is, he seems to have done his homework, or at least a part of it: the daryl we see in the spin-off reminds me of the way he was in the first seasons, when he didn’t really trust the group or anyone around him. sure it feels real far from the character he’s grown into during the last seasons, but maybe they thought it’d make sense for him to act the same way in this somehow similar context?

and this brings me to the next point, caryl. if you watch carefully, the hints are all there: episode 1, the flashback, episode 2 daryl blows up some tanks of gas in a way that any diehard twd fan will immediately associate with carol’s terminus scene. and we know there’s another more important flashback of carol and sophia coming up, and for that they even had to do specific casting and everything. Daryl now even carries a knife identical to carol’s signature weapon.

so maybe zabel did do his research? and if not, who do you think is responsible for these tiny details inserted here and there? is it all some sort of shipbaiting to keep caryl fans interested despite all the shit they’ve had thrown their way?

We can assume Zabel read scripts from the first few seasons because on the page, Daryl's scars are first described as cigarette burns and when asked about them in the spinoff, Daryl says his "daddy was a smoker." But that makes me wonder if Zabel only realized when the time came to look at reference photos that the burns never actually made it on screen in the main show, and that's why they're suddenly plain as day in the pilot. Why doesn’t Daryl have the bullet scar on his chest? We see it in 10x07, so did Zabel not watch that far? Does he not know Daryl got shot in S6/S7? Does he not realize Norman’s newer tattoos were visible in S11 and didn’t need covering up? (Side note: if you are going to make the choice to cover them up, make sure they’re consistently covered up 🤦‍♀️)

If the intention was for Daryl to revert back to the "fish out of water" he was in the early seasons, then yes, Zabel would probably have to watch at least parts of those seasons to get a sense of his voice. Fwiw, I think that’s an odd decision because that's not the version of Daryl most fans were drawn to. It was the nuances he started to show during and after the Cherokee rose scene with Carol. I suspect Zabel was following the mandate to “reset” the character, but at the same time, he still should’ve been 💯familiar with the source material. That’s doing the bare minimum, so I don’t excuse him for cutting corners if that’s what he did, and there seem to be too many inconsistencies to prove otherwise.

I also don't doubt he and/or the other writers watched pivotal Caryl scenes because, yes, the parallels are there like you said. Whether they were always intended to set up Caryl’s arc or initially just evoke the same emotions for another character/relationship, well 😒 Keep in mind that contrary to what will inevitably be spun, it was not known from the start that Melissa would come back. Yeah, there's the flashback in the pilot, and Daryl looking at the photo of the Irish man with his wife and daughter, and the Irish man's V.O., but those may not have ever been in the script, they could've just been decided on in post. I can’t be sure, but the point I’m driving at is, if Zabel didn't know he had to set up Carol's return for a good long while, honoring her character and Caryl’s relationship wouldn’t have been his first priority. His fist priority would’ve been the characters he could actually write for. I’m not suggesting he maliciously gave away Caryl’s arc. AMC on the other hand tends to assume women are interchangeable and if one character mirrors our favorite, we'll grow to like that character for the same reasons. Remember Maggie’s jacket that we all said looked like Carol’s? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Obviously we know that Carol is coming back now and at some point Zabel would’ve had to start writing to that which he could’ve done by retroactively adding small bread crumbs in the first half like the flashback, maybe some lines of dialogue, or anything else that wouldn’t have required massive rewrites (or more rewrites than there already were). So if something feels shoehorned in or contradictory (I know people were talking about the scene where Daryl tells Laurent he has “nothing like” a wife and kids), that could definitely be why. Not saying all of this to rain on anyone’s parade. If the small moments bring you comfort, please do take them. After all the “parallels” throughout the Leah arc went absolutely nowhere though, I would personally much rather wait until we get the real deal i.e. an explicit Caryl arc before I bother to watch.

I’ve definitely written too much for someone who’s not watching and I’m trying to wait a few more weeks before I elaborate on anything, but since you asked, I hope this gives you a better sense of where my head is at right now.

[whoslaurapalmer]

okay many many giggle thoughts many spoilers omg

-WE'VE ENTERED THE ERA OF DOCTOR ON DOCTOR LOVE -i do love doctor on doctor hate but they've grown up so much!!!!!!! the doctor has changed so much!!!!!! the joy!!!!!! the love!!!!!!!! THE HUGGING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 💖💖💖💖💖 -'i love you. get out. <3' :)))))))))) god what a delight oh my god :))))))) -fifteen comes out of such......acceptance and peace. grace! fourteen's lack of ego, all his understanding. and fifteen has such immediate bright joy and delight and thrill and!!!! oh my god!!!!!!!!! gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!! -AND ZERO PANTS!!!!! -NO PANTS TO SPEAK OF!!!!

-MEANWHILE. i swear to GOD rtd is dying to bring back the master in the worst way holy fucking shit -the archangel network reference. the master being brought up at all and in the toymaker's tooth. a little dancey number. FOURTEEN SAYING ALMOST THE EXACT SAME THING TEN SAID TO SIMM!MASTER BACK IN THE SOUND OF DRUMS!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!! I SHOUTED -THE HAND PICKING UP THE TOOTH LIKE THE HAND PICKED UP THE RING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -he's got plans. he's. got. plans -i thought 100% the master was just gonna. come out of the tooth somehow. not really enough time left in the ep for that though. but oh my goddddddddddddddddddddddd (-could the master hear the doctor offer someone else everything the master ever wanted but also continually turned down.) (okay i will stop now. but i am eyeing the future.)

-what a series of bizarre events. what a time!!!! oh my god. like.......... -it's a lot. it's a lot of things -it's rtd calling back to what he did with the metacrisis doctor. it's the doctor being allowed to stop and have a life. sort of becoming the metacrisis doctor, but also, being the doctor???? being allowed to STAY.........making the CHOICE to do it -ROSE IS HIS FAVORITE NIECE.................HIS NIECE <3 -MOTHER OF GODDDDDDD -it's closure for ten, yeah? ten who was so unable to have a family, to have what humans are capable of and how that hounded him, who had to watch the metacrisis doctor get rose, who couldn't slow down -and bringing up how a normal human life would drive him crazy!! hilarious bc i did just watch the power of three last week -but the doctor is capable of it now!!!! god look at fourteen............ -'that's the adventure.' aaaaaaa!!!!!!!! -godddd just! having just got back into my eleven watch and how eleven had the most heartbreaking struggle between the exciting and the mundane and what a life is made of, what eleven's was, what amy's was!!!!!!!!! oh it felt. healing in a way -and splitting the tardis like the piece of coral the metacrisis and rose got!!!!!!!!!! -even with all the little references throughout the ep i still wish fourteen had gotten to sit down and talk though. but still!!! -staggering along.......wearing himself out........... -and he gets to be with his best friend in the whole entire universe :) -and her family! and mel! think of all the other companions he could chill with!!!! THAT COMPANION SUPPORT GROUP FROM THE POWER OF THE DOCTOR!!!!!!!!!!! -BRINGING UP ADRIC!!!!!!!!!! -ADMITTING HE LOVED SARAH JANE!!!!!!!! YEAH YOU DID!!!!!!! -AND FIFTEEN SAYING IT TOO!!!!

-is it, perhaps, though, also a disservice to the doctor, to not quite.........move on through the next incarnation completely? yknow? idk. not sure. maybe not, in the end. -i see why the upcoming season will be back to being called 'series one' though. i see!!!!! -he's a new era!!!!! for real!!!!!!!! the doctor can say, 'okay!' about themself, to their past!!!!!!! god!!!!!!!! he's so bright and shiny and excited..........and he's got a JUKEBOX!!!!!!!!! -i love the jukebox -god.................time moves on........doctor grows up...... :) characterization, as it always does, marches onwards.... :) and it feels good here. -although i'm sure fifteen will have his own events to go through too. as ever!

(-i do think everyone should sit down and talk though. and show the talking. but! that's just me.)

-many other thoughts!!! -it was scary! it was terrifying!!!!! it was so fun!!!! it was so many things!!!!!! -mel!!!!!! MEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh mel was here!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -donna going 'oh, so i'm not the first redhead?'

-seeing shirley again!!! oh i hope we see more of shirley, always -tardis has a ramp now :)

-KATE OFFERING DONNA A JOB AT UNIT????? -'125 a year and 5 weeks holiday.' 'done.' '??????? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

-bringing back someone from one was so tasty! i mean! it really did feel grand and 60th anniversary!

-very little comments about nph. i'm neutral to dislike about nph in general, so. he was sure in this episode, huh

-THAT PUPPET SHOW???????? -'OH WELL THAT'S ALRIGHT THEN!!!' aaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!! god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -terrible things happened BUT. but is there really a but? could there be? -could've even hit harder though. no rory!!!! no river!!! no master!!!

-'my name's donna. and i warn you now if this is a trick i'll kill you.' and she does :) i love her :)

-the one who waits..........i wonder who that is.....

-'to get my reward.' vs 'you won the game!!!! you get a prize, honey!!!!!' -!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ✨✨✨✨✨🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹💞💞💞💞💞

[lilacerull0]

Been doing some spring-cleaning on my Amy playlist and driving myself insane thinking about Amy/11 as a sun and moon dynamic (obviously, who's who switches constantly, but always tied together, yet can never permanently be that way), so now I'm dead-set (see: deluding myself) on When The Day Met The Night being an Amy/11 song.

Because, and this is going to be a mini-essay, the song doesn't make it clear who's who between the sun and the moon + she and he, I think it's largely read as he being the moon and she being the moon but it can be read both ways -> Amy and 11 never really fitting neatly into one box.

And the song (and the album as a whole) has very overt fairy tale influences -> like a name in a fairy tale

As a bonus, the album this is on, but not this song sadly, has quite a few references to Rimbaud's A Season In Hell

But onto the song itself:

The links to the many gardens, especially the idea that the gardens are where he comes back to her (S5, the big bang Dr finding her asleep in her garden, S6, Amy finding out that he didn't die while she's in her background, S7, the scene with the convo with Rory where the TARDIS can be heard arriving)

Thinking about how 10's regen to 11 going roughly, collapsing and bleeding energy everywhere, literally just hanging on

But also Amy's "why did you say five minutes" in the garden and the look on her face when she says that -> the idea that she spent a lot of her 12 years barely hanging on to a sense of normality and sanity

Thinking about both of them making promises not to leave the other, textually or implied, and both of them breaking said promises....

To end this insane ramble, I'll leave you with the knowledge that if you queue Little Amy (the murray gold track) before When The Day Met The Night and then set the spotify crossfade to 3secs, the two tracks sync really nicely <3

This is an EXCELLENT match (thank you for the rant :")))) Keeping the reply under the cut because things got messy and deranged :/

Just... thinking about Night/Day imagery in general and how 11 and Amy meet during the night and each one of them thinks of the other as the sun while perceiving themselves as the moon. Considering how 10 felt about regenerating and how that predestined 11 to have his actual identity constantly creep up on him which he isn't  thrilled about because he's preoccupied with holding on to everything 10 was. (INSANE how Ten has to deal with Rose's ghost, the ghost of a living person and eventually ends up as one himself. He lives because Eleven wants to keep him alive, but it's not quite him... never a proper ghost, never a proper person...) it's only at the end of his arc that 11 acknowledges 10's vanity of all things. And then regarding Amy, there's the otherness she experiences in every timeline, even in the one where she remembers the Doctor, her drawings and artworks of him exist in her bedroom still. What a crooked solar system! The Moon chasing The Sun, 11 not allowing 10 to go, Amy waiting for 11.

Back to the Night/Day thing (the stuff above was a prelude, I guess), 11 comes back to Amy during the night (5x01) and leaves her during the day. (The God Complex) Key motif of The Romantic Period!!!! But also reminiscent of Symbolism. (Romanticism and Modernism as Amy's Art Movements Agenda is going strong) Actually your analysis here SCREAMS Verlaine's À La Promenade to me. ("and dying, like a sunshine of a dream" it says + mentions of costumes and vows, but again it's so much better in french dbdjdjjdjdjr modernism is freaky translated, but not the freaky that was originally intended to be portrayed bdjdjdjdjd)

Ooooooh the gardens, it gets even crazier with the gardens. The symbolism is ANCIENT, they are beauty and innocence and life, but are also wilderness and escapism and a ticket to nowhere. But for Amy, each reading of the garden kind of starts to exist with all these qualities exaggerated depending on the narrative moment, to the point of all of it becoming unbearable. She waits for the Doctor as a child and the green enveloping her house is too messy, she marries Rory and her new garden is too neat. Too messy and too perfect constantly being presented as the only two options Amy has, they only two ways in which she's allowed to be perceived. Truly haunted by her own dichotomy-defined presence. (never really fitting neatly into one box!!!!!!) "You could really spend a lifetime in here - not that I'm going to." on one hand she's been spending lifetimes in gardens like the TGWW one. On the other hand the TGWW garden is everything she wants, but Amy won't even consider it because she craves the Big Dramatic Moment, the feeling of having something happen to her even and especially if it's unpleasant ("kind of a good hurt") because she's been stuck in the in-between since forever and she doesn't want her dreams handed to her without the journey, without a sense of achievement. Wish fulfilment isn't appealing to her at all.

AAAAAAAND I wandered off here and this is INSANE and incoherent, but YAY for the Rimbaud cameos in music, I LOVE to see it.

[theheartsmistakes]

Any Other Name

.Chapter 1.

The London Institute hadn’t changed in the five years since Cordelia had last seen it. Its pointed rooftops disappeared into the alloy colored clouds that perpetually covered the sky of London making Cordelia sometimes wonder if underneath the constant precipitation the sky was purple or grey rather than blue. The arched glossy windows reflected the view of the city with the billowing smoke from the factories, the lines from the bridges, and the diamond-like flecks that glittered off of the Thames.

It rivaled the Institute in Tehran in size alone, but otherwise, the cold, steel gray of the stones had nothing on the warmth and light of the sand-colored building that she had been living in for the past five years. Already she missed the way the sun warmed the inside of the building and filled the rooms with its light that sent fractals of color off of the beads that adorned the bright colored drapes in her bedroom. She missed the smells of spices, burning applewood, and whatever flower bloomed wildly in that season as she walked the crowded merchant-lined streets.

She’d only been in London all of ten minutes and already she wanted to climb back through the portal and take her grandmother up on her offer to let her live there with her in her small one-bedroom flat.

“We are a family,” said her father proudly when he informed them at the dinner table only a week before that they (he) were offered the position to be head of the London Institute after the removal of William and Tessa Herondale. “This is a family decision. No one is staying behind. We are moving as a family.”

It didn’t feel like a family decision when he removed her bedroom door after she’d locked herself in for twenty-four hours in protest.

One year, she told herself. One measly little year in the dreary, desolate wasteland that was London, and then she would be eighteen and free to make her own decisions including where she wanted to live.

Her older brother Alastair, the bastard, had turned eighteen only a month ago and had opted to remain in Tehran to help oversee the Institute until the Clave found a family to take over. Cordelia bristled at the idea of someone else living in her room which she’d just managed to decorate according to her taste. What if they turned it into a boring old office or Angel forbid a crafts room.

Never, in her seventeen years, did she hate her parents. Not for any reason for they were quite good parents. They let her go out with her friends any night of the week she wanted, they supported her in whatever protest or interest she happened to be on even if it pertained to mundane issues, and she rather liked spending time with them when she wasn’t training or out in the city with her small, but loyal group of friends.

Her friends.

They’d only said goodbye a few hours ago, but she’d at least hoped for one fire message of encouragement to help her through these trying times.

She’d scold them for it later.

When she’d come to London as a child during her parent's annual Clave meetings, the only enjoyable part of being here visiting with the ever eccentric Lucie Herondale. They’d become fast friends when they first met at ten years old and remained in touch either through fire messages, the occasional visits, or annual Clave meetings. Until about six months, when all correspondence stopped. Cordelia sent her dozens of messages, but none of them were answered. When she attempted to call from a city payphone on the landline she knew Lucie kept, the automated message said the phone number had been disconnected.

Cordelia wondered if it was something that she had done or said that upset Lucie. That was until a week ago when her parents sat down with her and her brother and told them of the Clave’s decision to exile the Herondale’s for their demon blood.

“That’s the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard!” Cordelia yelled when her parents informed both her and Alastair. “They’re exiled? What does that even mean?”

“It means they’re no longer considered Shadowhunters,” said Alastair from where he sat across from her at the dining room table. He was rather unperturbed by the situation which didn’t surprise Cordelia in the least. He never liked the Herondale’s; least of all James Herondale, Lucie’s older brother.

“I know what it means, Alastair, I’m being dramatic,” snapped Cordelia. “What did they do to deserve this? Will has always been an esteemed member of the Clave and Tessa as well. They can’t do this to them!”

Elias, Cordelia’s traitorous father looked to her mother Sona for assistance but her mother looked just as angry as Cordelia felt.

“It’s all to do with their blood,” said Elias carefully.

“Their blood?” Cordelia said as if he’d just announced he was infected with some virulent disease.

“Bigotry, darling,” said Sona and glanced at him over the edge of the purple scarf that concealed her hair. “I think the word you are looking for is ‘bigotry’.”

“No,” said Elias. “That’s not what I’m saying.”

“Why not,” said Sona, flippantly. “It’s not as if the Clave is here to hear you. We’ve always been honest with the children, it won’t do to stop now.”

“Sona, please.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. This was an argument that they have had before and did not side with one another. “We agreed to be a unified front.”

“I agreed to no such thing,” said Sona and turned her gaze to Cordelia. “The Clave upon hearing that Tessa’s father is the greater demon Belial, has decided that despite her angelic heritage, her blood is tainted and we cannot allow tainted blood into the community in fear that her demon-side will eventually take over and she— or her children— will be responsible for something horrendous which is the nature of their kind.”

Cordelia gapped like a landlocked fish. “That’s the most idiotic thing I have ever heard!”

Sona nodded.

“Tessa is one of the kindest, sweetest, most good-natured people that I have ever met!” Her voice inched up an octave that had Alastair grimacing. She didn’t care. This was criminal. This went against everything she’d ever believed. Tessa was someone as close to an aunt as Cordelia would ever have. “Doesn’t the angelic blood dominate the demon side anyway!”

Sona nodded. “The Clave claims they do not have enough evidence of this and therefore cannot risk it.”

“You keep saying the Clave,” said Cordelia vehemently. “Who exactly are you referring to?”

“It’s all of them, darling,” said Elias.

Sona rolled her eyes. “Inquisitor Bridgetstock, the toad, is who I am referring to and the hoard of Clave members that he has fear-mongered into following after him. This is what we deserve for establishing a democracy.”

“You’d prefer totalitarianism?” said Elias.

Sona just shrugged again. “If it meant avoiding this lunacy, then yes, I suppose I do.”

Cordelia felt like screaming to release some of the frustration building in her chest. “What about Will?”

“His mother was a mundane,” said Elias.

“Oh.” Cordelia felt her cheeks fill with heat. “So the Clave has something against Mundanes, as well. So was Sophie Lightwood, are they going to exile her too?”

“The Clave is trying to keep the Shadowhunter bloodline pure,” said Elias, carefully, but there was a note of distaste in the last word. “Sophie ascended so therefore she is for all intents and purposes a Shadowhunter. Also, Will wouldn’t abandon Tessa or his children even if it meant keeping his marks. He was very adamant about that part.”

Cordelia slumped back against her chair and crossed her arms in a way she hadn’t done since she was a child. “So what, we’re just meant to pretend like they never existed? Is that what you’re saying?”

Both of her parents averted their eyes. Sona looked down at her hands resting in her lap and Elias stared at the plate of food he hadn’t touched in front of him. “Yes,” he finally said. “The punishment for fraternizing with ‘the exiled’ or any Downworlder unless it is for official Clave business is deemed punishable.”

Cordelia scoffed, but it was Alastair who asked, “Punishable, how?”

“It depends on the severity,” said Elias and meant to leave it at that.

“Meaning,” inquired Cordelia.

“Meaning,” said Elias in a tone that implied he was finished with this conversation. “They are not our friends, colleagues, or otherwise. They are our enemies and we are to treat them as such. They are working on making this into a new law and if broken, it could mean the stripping of your marks.”

Even Alastair’s eyebrows rose at that. “It seems the Inquisitor is finally getting what he wanted after all, a cease and desist on any camaraderie with Downworlders. He always did see them as a vile group.”

Elias nodded but reached over to put his hand on Cordelia’s arm. “I know Lucie was a dear friend.”

Cordelia’s eyes swam with tears at the mention of Lucie’s name. She couldn’t imagine what Lucie was going through now. Was she afraid, angry, lonely, feeling everything all at once? At least she had her family, but was it enough? Would it be enough for Cordelia?

“I cannot stress how important it is that you obey these laws until we can come up with a way to have them disbanded,” said Elias. “I know your heart, Layla, I see its fire at any signs of adversity and I don’t want to be the one to temper it, but I need you to be careful and believe me when I saw, I will do everything within my capabilities to fix this.” He looked at each person sitting at the table with him. “I may not agree with the Clave’s decision, but for our own protection, we must comply. Do you understand?”

“You want us to be silent,” said Cordelia.

Elias’s hand slipped from his daughter’s arm.

“Sometimes words are not enough,” said Sona on the other end of the table. “Sometimes we can speak louder with our action. We have raised you to be free-thinkers, to defend the innocent, and protect the ones that need protecting. We trust that you will use your best judgement on how to do just that.”

Cordelia uncross her arms and dropped her hands into her lap. She wanted more than anything to go to her room and try to send another fire message to Lucie; to rage about how ridiculous this all was, and let her friend know that she wasn’t alone. That not for one moment would she, Cordelia Carstairs, who once painted herself red and marched through the streets of Tehran as a message to their mundane government that she did not agree with the patriarchal rules placed on women, would go along with these laws.

She thought of the Blackthorn family motto: Lex malla, lex nulla.

A bad law is no law and how she wished she could claim it is her own.

But she couldn’t message Lucie. She didn’t even have a way to reach her and maybe Lucie didn’t want to speak to her anyway if she hadn’t even attempted to contact her in some other way.

“I hate this,” she said quietly.

“I know, Layla,” said her mother. “I know.”

“What of the Fairchilds?” asked Alastair, stirring his mashed potatoes around with his fork. “How did the Clave get Charlotte to agree to this? They’re practically family. Isn’t the blond one parabatai with the eldest of the Herondales?”

Elias sighed and nodded. “He is— was. He is being stripped of his mark this week.”

Cordelia gasped and felt as if she might vomit. “Matthew would never!”

“He didn’t have a choice,” said Elias. “It was either have his parabatai mark removed or be exiled.”

“He’d choose to be exiled.” Cordelia didn’t know Matthew Fairchild all that well, but she knew he wouldn’t abandon his dearest and oldest friend. The friend he chose to tie his own life.

“He’s not yet eighteen,” said Elias. “He cannot make that choice.”

“Charlotte is allowing this?”

“Charlotte has been removed from her place as Consul for not agreeing to any of this and is being replaced by Marcus Pounceby.”

“Marcus Pounceby!” said Alastair and Cordelia together.

Their father just nodded though his expression had grown increasingly tired. “Yes, it appears that if one just bends every which way for the Clave one can achieve a lot.”

Cordelia had to physically restrain herself from flipping the table. “This is bullshit!”

“Cordelia!” Her mother hissed. “I know you’re upset, but I won’t hear that sort of language at the table.”

“I’m sorry.” She wasn’t, and saying ‘this is crap’ just didn’t justify how she felt. “I can’t believe this is happening. I thought we were supposed to be better than mundanes. This feels like its been torn directly out of one of their history books. Next they’ll have use hunting Downworlders and demons.” She couldn’t sit there any longer. She couldn’t handle any more information that made her want to portal directly to Alicante and demand they strip her of her marks. What was stopping them from exiling her family next? What if they stopped liking her hair color or decided she wasn’t fit to be a Shadowhunter because she was a woman? “May I be excused?”

“You haven’t eaten anything,” said her mother.

“I’ve lost my appetite.”

“Your mother worked—“ Elias started but Sona shook her head and said, “Yes, just clear your plate and you can go.”

——————

In the week that followed that conversation things progressively got worse. It helped that she was in Tehran with her friends, battling demons that terrorized the night and training during the day, until that fateful night when her father declared that they were moving to the London Institute.

The inside seemed as dark and cold as the outside. She didn’t remember it being this way when she visited as a girl. It used to be so full of light, but perhaps it was the people that occupied it that made it that way. Now, it seemed as lonely and depressed by their absence as Cordelia felt.

She dragged her suitcase up the flight of stairs to the second story and shuffled down the hall at a glacial pace as if every step was a concession to agreeing to live here. The hallway had holes in it where pictures were once hung by Tessa of her family and their lives there. Cordelia could remember a few: one of Tessa and Will on their wedding day, another of Tessa heavily pregnant while hanging a Christmas ornament on the tree, one of Will holding a baby, and one of all four of them together underneath the Eiffel Tower. Lucie was only six in the picture and resting her tired head on her father’s shoulder. James stood in front of his mum with a half-smile on his face and a baguette in each of his hands.

The barren walls seemed to groan and sigh as she walked past.

The door she knew to be hers was already opened, a dull strip of light came out into the hallway. Cordelia stood in front of the dark red wood of the door and nudged it open with the toe of her boot. It squeaked on its hinges as it slowly revealed the bedroom inside.

Memories of laughter crashed into her like a blast of icy, winter wind. Two little girls sitting on the massive bed, the covers were thrown over their heads with a witch light glowing between them, as they brought their collection of dolls to life in elaborate stories.

It still smelled like her— like Lucie. A mixture of Damascus roses, ink, and freshly printed papers.

Cordelia sighed and dropped her bag at her feet.

The bed was the only thing that remained of what used to be Lucie’s old bedroom. Stripped of the colorful coverlet and sheets that Lucie had chosen, it was just an old mattress with a plush, lavender velvet headboard. The only sign of there ever having been any more furniture were the marks in the wooden floorboard where Lucie’s writing desk sat and piles of dust in the corners.

“It’s not much now,” said her mother whom she hadn’t heard come up behind her. “But you can make it your own.”

Cordelia scoffed. “I don’t want to make it my own.” It was Lucie’s. It would always be Lucie’s.

She felt her mother’s hand on her waist. “I know this is difficult for you, Layla, but we must make the best of it. It’s what Lucie would have wanted.”

Cordelia turned. “Please don’t talk about her as if she’s dead. I did what you asked, I moved here, please don’t expect me to be happy about it. It’s not enough that I have to stay in this house, but I have to live in her room and make it my own. I won’t. My stuff may be stored in here, but it’s not mine. My room is in Tehran.” She turned back around and glared at the large space before her as if it’d done her some great wrong.

Sona patted her daughter on the waist before releasing her. “I didn’t come up here to upset you more, but I feel I should warn you. The Inquisitor and the Consul are coming by in an hour to meet us. They want to discuss a few things with your father over dinner. I was told to tell you to please be on your absolute best behavior.”

“So you’re asking me to sit there and look pretty?”

Sona’s eyebrows quirked. “We need to support your father. He is the only one in the Clave that has any semblance of reason. They trust him, we need to help strengthen that trust if he is to help make sense of some of this nonsense. Do you understand?”

Cordelia hugged herself. “I hate them.”

“Hate them all you like,” said Sona. “You don’t even have to speak to them if you don’t want to, but you do need to be present. The Consul’s son will be there.”

“Augustus?” said Cordelia with distaste. “Can’t you tell them I’m ill or tired from our travels. Jet lag is still a thing even if you portal.”

Sona tapped her wrist where a watch should be. “Dinner is at seven. Dress respectably.”

Cordelia looked down at the black bike shorts she had under the oversized gray sweatshirt she’d thrown on that morning while she finished all her last-minute packing. By respectable, she knew her mother meant nice, pretty, clean. Look how they want you to look so we can attempt to impress Inquisitor Bridgestock and Consul Pounceby because even though we don’t agree with their decisions, we still have to abide by their laws.

It made her want to punch a hole in the wall or throw something out the window.

She pulled the strap for the scabbard holding Cortana, her beloved sword, over her neck and rested her blade against the wall beside the closet door, and walked across the room to sit on the edge of the mattress.

Never once in her life was she ever not proud to be a Shadowhunter. It was as much a part of her as the color of skin, her name, or the distinct tone of her voice. The angelic blood sang in her veins and powered her limbs to protect those who could not protect themselves against the darkness and evil that threatened it. Never once did she consider that darkness and evil could ever touch or harm her community; that it would never be found there. Now, she came to realize, it was not so far away.

How could she fight her government? She couldn’t, not without consequences, but how could she stay silent either about what she knew to be wrong and unjust.

Her whole existence felt like the inside of a snow globe after it was turned upside down and shaken. Now, she just had to wait for the dust to settle, and perhaps things would not look so different then.

———————

The Consul was the first to arrive.

Cordelia stood in the bathroom mirror smoothing out the dress she’d thrown in the bag she packed while they waited for the rest of their things to arrive from Tehran. The white of the soft fabric warmed her skin and brought out the flecks of copper in her red hair that she left down and curled at the ends. Her mother would scoff at the length of the hem, falling to the middle of her thighs. It wasn’t exactly what Cordelia would have chosen to wear to this dinner either, but she’d left her Fuck the Patriarchy t-shirt and ripped jeans in the box with all of her clothes in Tehran. It may be written in Persian, but the look on her parents’ face would have been worth it, and who knows, perhaps it could have been a conversation starter.

She was pulling on a pair of dark leather sandals when she heard the sound of voices fill the foray. Her mother’s warm, but fake laughter sent a pinch across Cordelia’s spine. She knew it wasn’t sincere, but she still would rather hear the sound of her mother kicking them out of her house rather than welcoming them in.

I am not being complicit, she told herself as she turned towards the bedroom door. I am infiltrating the enemy. I will find their weakness. I will attempt to understand them so I can use the knowledge later to destroy them… And I will spit in their water glasses and lick their bread rolls.

With a practiced smile, she marched towards the door when she felt the give and heard the groan from a floorboard beneath her foot. She looked down and carefully lifted her right foot and watched as the board rose back up.

Interesting. None of the other boards did that.

Carefully, she got down onto her knees and dug her nails into the crack around the board. The perimeters showed markings of being dug out before. She pried it up enough to get her fingers underneath and it popped up with ease. She slid it away and beneath was a white sheet of paper with a garden stone sitting on top of it and Cordelia’s name written on the front.

Cordelia looked up to make sure no one was coming. The voices could still be heard from the foray and dinner didn’t technically start for five more minutes.

She reached down into the hole and slid the paper out from underneath the rock.

Sitting back on her hip, she unfolded it and read:

50 Ernest St, Bethnal Green, London

The Old Clock Tower

February 3, at 10 P.M.

Cielu Rhonelade

Cielu Rhonelade. Cordelia smiled as she mentally rearranged the letters to read Lucie Herondale. It was her nom de plume for a time when they were kids and Lucie wanted to be like the author George Eliot and claim her work under a different name.

But it was Lucie, of that Cordelia was sure, and she wanted to meet with Cordelia tonight.

A/N:

This story can also be found on AO3 if you would prefer to read it there.

Likes, comments, and reblog are always appreciated!

Next update: Friday, 5/14

[mxxnspells]

Pick a Card - Spring 2021

Hello! I hope you’re doing well. Today, I bring you a new pick a card, this one focused on Spring! There are three rows, each one referring to something different:

Life: Where I get the general energy for this season and how it connects to your past, present and future. Any message that doesn’t fit in the next two categories will appear here. Love: Where I read your love energy for the season. Remember that love can come and be in many forms. Money (finances): Everything related with money, your job, career will have its message here. It is also related with practicality and tangibility. If money can buy it or acquire it, then its message fits this category.

I will use Tarot to get the messages, my intuition and the language of flowers (in the life reading) as well since it fits with the spring theme!

How to make your pick: Firstly, take a deep breath. Close your eyes and become aware of your body and ground yourself in the question “What can I expect from this year’s Spring?”. When you are ready, open your eyes and look at the different images. Select the one in each row that sparks a memory in you.

Disclaimer: As always, these readings are for fun. Take what resonates, leave the rest. I am not qualified to give any legal, medical advice. Any major decisions should be consulted by a professional. This reading should not replace any of that.

Feel free to let me know if this resonates with you or not! I’d love to hear your thoughts about this so that I can improve and give you more quality pick a cards in the future! Any suggestions you may have, feel free to leave them in my inbox!

🦋Life #1

Tarot: VII (Seven) of Pentacles (Reversed), The Empress (Reversed), VI (Six) of Pentacles

I feel like you have been holding on to something and you don’t want to let go. I sense this can be someone, rather than something, and for some reason, it has to do with the idea you have of this person, not necessarily them. This has caused you to be extremely confused about where to go and what to do. I feel like you don’t feel capable of letting go of this and in a way, you feel trapped. However, with the VI (Six of Pentacles), help is on the way. I feel like this help will come in form of a conversation. I am getting the strong message that you need to open up. That’s what you need to let go of. These thoughts, ideas, whatever it is... you need to open up to someone about them.

Flowers: White Rose (Worthiness), Sweet William (Gallantry), Rosemary (Remembrance)

This is an advice from the universe to you. Somewhere along the way, you lost yourself. You don’t recognise who you are anymore and that is taking a toll on you. However, you must stay brave and remember you are capable of taking the next step. Remember that by finding yourself, by remembering who you were, you are acknowledging that change can be made. So allow yourself to grow this Spring.

🦋Life #2

Tarot: III (Three) of Swords, Queen of Cups, The Devil

This past year hasn’t been easy on you, has it? I feel like you keep blaming yourself for things that you had no control over, you couldn’t have possibly change that. People come and people go. And someone you loved dearly has left you. It wasn’t your fault, though. I don’t know if this is someone who has passed on or someone who broke your heart. Take what resonates. This Spring, you’ll be walking towards a more compassionate version of yourself. You will accept things, recognise that what is done is done and that the past cannot be changed. This is a different message but this Spring you might be asked to make a choice? Between ending something which you know will break your heart and something that on the surface seems like everything you ever wanted but deep down there’s not a lot of substance. You are the Queen of Cups in this situation. Between a promised white lie and a heartbreaking truth. Remember that whatever ends up happening, you have everything you need to deal with it. Just allow yourself to feel for once.

Flowers: Lilac (First Emotions of Love), Honeysuckle (Generous and Devoted attention), White Rose (Worthiness)

This can be two things. Either you are slowly coming to terms with who you are, learning to love yourself or someone else or this is someone else finally giving into their feelings for you. Just remember your value and self-worth. Remember that above anything else, you are the most important and precious thing in your life. You are worthy of love. And it all begins with your own.

🦋Life #3

Tarot: V (Five) of Pentacles (Reversed), The Sun, Queen of Pentacles

Look, I’m just going to say it, good for you! I don’t know exactly why but good for you! I feel like you have been in this semi-hermit stage recovering or planning something and this Spring, you are going to finally show the world your creation. I don’t know what it is but good for you. I am ecstatic, you feel euphoric or extremely happy, don’t you? I want to laugh, giggle, jump up and down in excitement. You are happy and you should be! Whatever it is that is happening at this time, seems to be providing you with stability for the long run. I have a feeling that because we’ve got the Queen of Pentacles, this will take some time to be noticed. I feel like by the end of Spring the fruits of your labour will start to show up. Just allow yourself to fully feel comfortable and then step out of the shadows and into the sun. It will shine on you.

Flowers: Petunia (Soothing Presence), Red Rose (Fidelity and Love), Lilac (First Emotions of Love)

This is a similar message from my teacup reading so maybe you also read that and now you’re here again. This to me, screams commitment. Commitment to someone, commitment to yourself, commitment to something. Whatever you are committing to, it brings you peace. It’s like that feeling “I am where I’m supposed to be,”. It is also something or someone you love with all your heart and you are ready to have it/them in your life for the long run.

🐝 Love #1

Tarot: III (Three) of Pentacles (Reversed), VIII (Eight) of Pentacles, V (Five) of Swords (Reversed)

If you picked this pile, then you are either in a relationship or you have been trying to fix a connection. I sense this is a love connection and I guess there has been a lot of fights, lack of communication, something related to one of you not understanding the other. I get that one of the people involved wants to either go back to studying or do something different but the other party is like “What for? You won’t need it,” which is leaving a big portion of you upset and devastated. You feel like there needs to be better communication and you want to put in the work to fix this. However, you are not sure how the other party feels. Do it. They are also ready to work on this. You need to honest and practical too. Maybe one of you is too idealistic and the other too practical/realistic. Just meet in the middle. And like the card in the middle of your spread, you have both to put in the work.

🐝 Love #2

Tarot: II (Two) of Swords, Knight of Swords, The Magician

This Spring, you will most likely meet someone. I feel like there will be a lot of chemistry between you two and it will come out of nowhere. However, I feel like you are blocking yourself to this connection. It’s not that you don’t want love, it’s just that you don’t know where to find it. But this person will come in quickly and swoop you away. You are not sure whether or not you should give into this connection. “Are they the one?”, “Am I ready for this relationship?”. I feel like these are questions that have crossed your mind at some point in time and you are letting them blind you. The thing is darling, you are the magician. You have everything you need for this connection to work. You may not have all the answers just yet but allow yourself to give in this time. It will feel magical. 

🐝 Love #3

Tarot: Queen of Pentacles (Reversed), X (Ten) of Swords, Queen of Cups

I assume your work has been taking a big toll on you. I feel like you work long hours or spend a lot of time away from the one you love which is causing you and them pain. I also sense that the X (Ten) of Swords here represent your thoughts but also how you are seeing this. I assume you have made up your mind: they will leave me. I will be alone. Or you feel alone. Either way, the Queen of Cups is your partner in this situation. They understand you and they care about you. They are giving you space, that’s what I’m sensing. They know you are busy but they also know how much you value your relationship with them. And they know that right now, you need to prioritise your work. Just tell them you are thankful to have them by your side. They will appreciate it.

🌷Money #1

Tarot: VI (Six) of Swords (Reversed), The Fool (Reversed), V (Five) of Swords

There’s a lot of things you need to deal with but since this has to do with finances, be careful where you put your money in. I feel like you see this opportunity and think “this is great!” and probably invest with not enough knowledge which is not good. I feel like you are trying to get into the stock market or investments and you think you are ready but you aren’t yet. You want financial freedom so you are trying to find ways to make it happen at all costs. Just because something looks appealing, doesn’t mean it is. Remember the long run. 

🌷Money #2

Tarot: King of Wands, The Emperor (Reversed), X (Ten) of Cups (Reversed)

In this scenario, you are the King of Wands. You are passionate, imaginative, you love what you do. Not only that, you are also a great leader. And I feel like you have been looking for a promotion at your job or a job offer for that matter. For some reason, I also sense that even though you are represented by the King of Wands, you are not in that energy yet. That is where you want to be. The leader, the one calling the shots, the one guiding and inspiring. But there’s someone on your way, The Emperor. This is someone who is above you. Someone with more power that doesn’t want to share it with you. The thing is, they know the value you bring but they don’t want others to see it. You are also not easily manipulated which they don’t like. I sense this promotion or whatever you desire will go to someone else. It will be shocking, devastating, heartbreaking. But remember, as I said, you are walking towards that King of Wands energy. You are not there just yet. But soon enough, you’ll get your chance to shine. Just don’t let this get in the way of the big picture.

🌷Money #3

Tarot: The Hanged Man, Death, V (Five) of Swords

Do not be scared by the Death card. I feel like this is something you have seen coming. I sense you want to quit your job? Or have a change of scenery, at least. I sense you have been weighing the pros and the cons and for sure you have come to the realisation that quitting will come with certain sacrifices: financial freedom you currently have. However, this step will lead to a new path and you know you need to do this, even if those around you don’t understand it. I feel like your colleagues will be resentful of you. Either because you left them without a notice or because you are jumping ship (which I don’t think it’s the case, this is how they see it). They don’t see you as a quitter, though. Quite the opposite. And that’s why they are resentful, because you were able to take that step whereas they are too afraid to do so. It costs you your financial freedom but I don’t sense you overspend. Maybe you even have some savings which have allowed you to come to this decision. Whatever it is, it has been a long time coming. And you need to leave the old to receive the new.

[eloura]

Appreciation for the 13th Doctor, why I love Jodie Whittaker’s Doctor

This has taken me forever to write, so I hope at least I few people read it. Granted, once I start talking I can’t shut up. I’ve seen an array of hate towards Jodie Whittaker as the Doctor, and I thought it would be nice to write a post on why I personally love her and why she’s my favourite doctor. And no, it’s not because she’s a woman. Though, it was one factor. And for context, I’ve been watching doctor who since I was a child, and my old favourite used to be the tenth doctor, so it’s not because I haven’t seen previous seasons either.

I’ll get this one out the way, the thirteenth doctor is a woman. This is a big deal for me, in a positive way- I’ve always looked up to the Doctor, always wanted to be like him, for years I wanted to cosplay him as well but as a feminine lady I wasn’t comfortable with cosplaying a man. Then Jodie comes along, she’s everything I wanted in a female doctor, I never through in a million years we would ever have a female doctor. When I first watched The Woman Who Fell To Earth, I just started tearing up,

This. This moment. Because in this moment I though, yes. This is the Doctor. And she’s wonderful and brilliant. What I love most, is her personality didn’t change because she’s a woman now, she doesn’t really wear makeup, she still wears a tux, she’s not bothered about the way she looks, it’s just nice to have a female characters who’s so heroic, kind, and intelligent. It just hit differently for me watching her. She doesn’t forget.

Now, one can argue there’s not much continuity and 13 doesn’t mention her past, which I can understand why you would think that but I disagree.

Here, you can see she still remembers her past, and is still hurting from the ones she lost, from Rose, Martha, Donna, the Ponds, Clara, Bill, etc etc. And with the fez reference, and little lines like “Talking about wasps, have I ever told you about me and Agatha Christie?” Or “Half an hour ago I was a white-haired Scotsman!” Keep long term viewers happy, while not completely alienating new fans, as I feel with series 11+ it’s like a blank slate for new viewers to get into the show, which in my opinion is a good idea. 

Another thing I really love about the thirteenth doctor, is how positive and hopeful she is.

I feel like each doctor symbolises different things, and to me I feel like she’s represents hope and positivity. I really love this about her because I have a lot of personal issues where it leads me to feeling a bit down, but when I watch her Doctor I always feel a lot more happier, positive and hopeful, and for me I really appreciate that.

I also really love how witty she is. Now, I know every Doctor is a little bit quirky and funny, but I find 13 one of the best. She’s a little bit childish, excitable, cute. I love the running gag of her forgetting that she’s a woman now, it’s a nice touch that’s unique to her Doctor.

The Doctor’s speeches are always spine chilling. and for 13, it’s no exception. I love how protective she is of Earth and humans, as previous Doctors have been. A lot of people say the writing isn’t all there, I get where you’re coming from but I personally like it, especially moments like:

She’s confident, she’s protective, she’s loving. It’s just something I really love and appreciate with her Doctor. I  feel like she always wants to do the right thing and will always put everyone first before her own safety.

Talking more recently, I like how she interacts with The Master, she’s not trying to reason with him, convince him to travel with her, mend their friendship, she’s just done. She is sick of him at this point,

She’s rolling her eyes, she’s taking no chances. It’s different, as with Ten, he was doing anything he could to convince the Master to see the universe with him. With Twelve, he wanted Missy to stand with him. with Thirteen and the Master, she isn’t interested. She just wants to save humanity.

I also love the family dynamic. I know we’ve had that before with Rose and the Ponds, but having the entire ‘fam’ as she would say, in the TARDIS with her, idk I find it really cosy and nice. A lonely traveller finding a family to show them the universe with is just really nice, and in my opinion a lot better than having one companion where they /usually/ fall for the Doctor.

Finally, I want to talk about Jodie Whittaker’s acting. I’ve been hate for her online saying she can’t act, which I disagree with, have you seen Broadchurch? Anyway, for this, it’s not fair to blame Jodie for what is the writer’s fault. I like series 11 but its undeniable that Jodie doesn’t have many chances to truly shine as an actress. However, I feel like this is changing in series 12, I especially liked her acting when seeing the destroyed Gallifrey, and how angry she looked when listening to the Master admit her did it. With hope, public opinion of her will change after this series.

Right, well, I think I've babbled on for enough about Doctor Who. If you’ve made it this far, I am surprised with your patience! And if you disagree with me, that’s fine of course! We won’t always agree or like the same characters and that’s completely fine, as long as it’s respectful. 

[springday-aus]

SVT’s Jeonghan: Love, War and Everything Between || part one

—

Fic Piece Written by: Admin Grandma of @springday-aus​

Moodboard Link: Created by Admin Grandpa

Character Pairing: Y/N [fem. reader] and Seventeen’s Yoon Jeonghan

Other Characters: Nu’est’s Baekho [known as Dongho], Seventeen [Seungcheol and Jisoo, along with idiot squad!Soonyoung, Seokmin, and Seungkwan], and more to be added along the way!

Genre: historical, romance, drama, royal!au, arranged marriage!au + gender role reversal 

None of this is even remotely historically accurate. This is all purely fiction!

Type: series 

prologue || part 01 || part 02 || part 03 → to be available! check the progress on our upcoming page! 

Word Count: approx. 2.6k 

Plot Summary: Korea’s most distinguished military general arrives home, carrying back glory and honor from the war. However, the general has been revealed to be a woman! Due to the prominent military accomplishments you have made as the highest ranking general, by orders of the Empress, you are arranged to be married to the second-eldest prince, Yoon Jeonghan. Only one problem lies between you two: your reputation as a ruthless killing machine, which scares the living daylights out of your new husband. 

→ Inspired by: the Chinese drama, Oh My General (also known as The General Above I Am Below)

Warnings: graphic violence, glorified war, murder, sexual harassment, sex discrimination (mainly against women), poly-relationships (i.e. concubines), political corruption, and homosexual tendencies

It had taken six months for the final battle to commence, and three full years of ruthless war, before they finally conceded. Needless to say, the new recruits were lucky to be under your jurisdiction. Had they not, the body count would have been much higher. 

Your grip tightens on the rein of your horse, feeling the guilt and anguish wash over you once more of those who have fallen. While it is inevitable to lose soldiers in war, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt any less. 

You take a small breath in, calming yourself once more and settling back into the reality. 

The war had begun in the fall, whereas now, it is well into the summer season. You close your eyes, feeling the sun shine warmly on your skin. Taking another breath in, you open your eyes once more to take in the sights. 

White butterflies dance over the grass, teasing flowers as they move along. The flowers are in full bloom; even the dirt path, which was once wet and muddy, has patches of grass that pop out from the cracks. While you have traveled to many areas, you were never able to take in the sights—well, at least, the less violent ones. 

Ah, war. Politicians may declare war as much as they please, but they have yet to have seen how it destroys the average person—even a general as distinguished as yourself. 

“General?” 

“Yes,” you say. “What’s wrong, Dongho?” 

You don’t look back at him, but you can hear his horse’s footsteps catch up to yours—slowing down to remain a couple of paces behind. 

“How are you feeling?” he asks. 

You smile to yourself. “Rather sentimental.” You turn to him. “When was the last time we ever allowed ourselves to take in nature like this?” 

His smile reflects yours. “I believe it was the last time we had been called to fulfill our duty.” 

You click your tongue, with a disapproved shake of your head. “We need to go on these outings more often.” 

“Well,” Dongho starts. “It’s hard to go on leisurely walks as one of the nation’s most notable figures.” 

“And this is why you’re my second-in-command.” You let out another sigh, a bit longer than the previous one. “It’s hard to roam around with such a large target on your back.” 

“In hindsight, you are very skilled in many areas. Whether it’s swordsmanship, archery, or taekkyon, only a suicidal fool would challenge you.” 

“A suicidal fool, such as yourself?” 

“Yes, General,” he says with a chuckle. “I’m a suicidal fool, who has yet to have learned his lesson.” 

Dongho has been by your side for as long as you can remember. The two of you lived as neighbors, and evidently best friends, for ten years. When your father and brothers died, there was a brief separation period until you turned fourteen—in which you had met again, when you were starting your military training on request of your grandfather. 

Since then, you two trained together, side-by-side in combat for the next twelve years. You rose the ranks together—you as the General and he as the military counselor. 

You hear a groan from your left side. “Are we there yet?” 

“Kim Jisoo,” you call. “You should know by now how long these journeys are.” 

Your bodyguard playfully scowls at you. “Pardon me for being used to having company on these trips.” 

From beside her, Namjoo, your other bodyguard, directs a punch to her sister’s arm. “You speak as if I’m dead.” She makes eye contact with you, before rolling her eyes at her sisters antics. “Father would be upset had he heard your inauspicious words.” 

Lieutenant Kim worked alongside your father and you’re lucky enough to have him by yours as well. He’s like another family member—practically a close uncle, who is more than aware of your peculiar situation. Along with Lieutenant Kim came his two daughters, Jisoo and Namjoo.

Because he spent all of his time in the military, so did they. They learned as he taught and trained the other soldiers, including yourself and Dongho. Then, when the time came, you gave the both of them the bodyguard positions.

Of course there was protest, especially from their male counterparts who wanted their positions. While the Kims had a good laugh, there were also rumors that spread on your part—you had become known as a playboy, who became desperate for female attention while serving in the military.

Eventually, those rumors had been shut down, considering how your military contributions outweighed the gossip that spread due to envious soldiers. Your status easily overpowered theirs (lack thereof) and you dealt with them... accordingly. 

(No one died, but it didn’t mean you didn’t cause some emotional trauma for them. You were nicknamed the Devil for a reason).

But, alas, this is also the root of your predicament. 

“You aren’t the company I was referring to,” Jisoo says. 

“If you’re referring to those pretty boys back at the capitol,” Namjoo says. “You might as well be the dead one.” 

You chuckle at their banter. Jisoo is right (although you would never tell her): it would be nice to have a pretty boy by your side. But, with the current conditions, you know it would only be difficult for him. 

Granted, this would be made a burdensome situation for you as well—the only difference being that you’re made of the tougher materials in life and will not hesitate to kill a man when crossed against. 

Their banter fades into the background, with Dongho attempting to separate the two before the duo of sisters suddenly becomes solo. 

You look up at the bright and clear sky once more, enjoying the moment of peace before the storm strikes. 

It’s been about three days before you determined a stopping point, in order to set up camp for the evening. Your soldiers have been on rotation since then; you figure that they should get a well-needed break. 

You smirk to yourself. The joke’s on them, considering how the lower ranks are the ones who actually set up: the tents, the cots, the fires. 

The sun has already set for the day; the moon shines brightly and the stars twinkle against the evening sky. It’s truly the countryside; in the city, you don’t get sights like these. Too much pollution and such. It only means you and your soldiers still have a long road back to the capitol. 

A long sigh escapes you as you stand outside your tent—naturally, with Namjoo on one side and Jisoo on the other. 

“What’s wrong, General?” Namjoo asks. 

Jisoo turns to you. “Is something bothering you?” 

You let out another sigh. “It’s less of a bother and more of a concern.” 

“What kinds of concerns?” Jisoo asks. “Could we be of any help to you?” 

“Considering we are your protectors,” Namjoo adds with a pointed look. 

“And your best friends,” Jisoo says. 

“Female best friends.” 

You crack a small smile—one that rarely showed during this period. “When do you think…” Your words trail off, trying to find the correct words. “When do you think this charade should be over and done with?” 

Namjoo blinks wordlessly, not seeming to understand your question. 

“What do you mean, General?” Jisoo asks. “Are you referring to…? Possibly…?” 

“When can I fully become (Y/N) rather than just a general?”

“You’re not just a general,” Namjoo says. “You have risen up to become the General. The one who serves and protects your kingdom best.” 

“It’s not that I’m dissatisfied with my accomplishments. I’m proud of them, but I would prefer them to be my own rather than the son of the (Y/L/N) family.” You laugh inwardly at your own words. 

Son. What a joke. 

You did what you’ve had to, but, what was the real cost? The countless men you have killed? The women and children who were left with no one to care for them in this patriarchal society? 

What about your own life? What would life had been like, had your father and brothers not been killed? Would you have been married off to a family as well? Or would you still be in the military, serving with the other soldiers like now? 

There’s a moment of silence and the two struggle to find their words—whereas you’re left again to your own thoughts. 

It’s Jisoo who speaks first. “I want to tell you it would all be okay and things would remain the same.”

“But?” 

“But it won’t.” She tilts her head up, the stars shimmering in her eyes. “Things will be hard and things will be difficult. And, whenever you make that decision, we’ll be right here by your side.” 

Namjoo elbows you with a mischievous smile. “Just as we have always done. We pride yourselves as your protector.” 

Your smile grows. “That’s a relief to hear.” You turn away from them, taking a step back to push back the fabric of your tent to take a step in. “It’s too late to back out anyways.” 

“Too late for what, General?” Jisoo asks. 

Your head turns to her and your smile doesn’t waver. “The letter has already been sent.”

“Your majesty,” the Vice Premier says. “What do you advise us to do now?” 

The King sits at this throne, setting down the newly passed message from General (Y/L/N)—only to come in view with the court. 

While he may not be downright angry, he is well aware of how the court may feel. He is also unsure of what will result in his best military general, especially since the war is not exactly over and done with—considering how King Wu may still hold resentments due to the aftermath. 

He glances at the letter once again, feeling his head throb. Why did you have to choose now of all times? 

Just moments ago, the second messenger from your troops arrived—announcing his arrival and reading the letter aloud for the rest of the court to hear. Upon the King’s request, he had left the letter to the King, still in shock with the present state of affairs. 

General (Y/L/N) is a woman. 

“Your majesty,” Official Chun says, stepping out from his spot. 

“Accepted, proceed.” 

“It is unacceptable for a woman to be of such a high position, nevertheless a man’s rightful position. I propose we remove and replace the General.” 

Official Lee steps out. “Your majesty.” 

“Accepted, proceed.” 

“If I may remind some of us here that we are forever indebted to the General. We continue to be so, considering the current circumstances. While he—” He pauses, before correcting himself. “While she may be a woman, she is of the (Y/L/N) family. Not only have they been loyal to the throne, serving our country for many years, they have made many great sacrifices.” 

“Your majesty,” Official Kwon says. 

“Accepted, proceed.” 

“Official Lee is correct. We cannot just remove the General.” He pauses, not before glancing at Official Chun and his followers. “The war might be over but we still have to be alert. Allowing her removal is the equivalent of death for our country.” 

Sensing Chun’s anger from the indirect remarks, Official Mae steps out. “Your majesty.” 

“Accepted, proceed.” 

“General (Y/L/N) is a woman. A woman with too much power shall be the root our demise.” He glances at the other side, spotting those behind the Vice Premier. “She must be put into her place before she gets too ambitious.” 

Official Song steps out. “Your majesty.” 

“Accepted, proceed.” 

“From what we are aware, the (Y/L/N) family does not have any male heirs. Considering the circumstances, we cannot afford to replace her when there are still repercussions of the war to be settled.” 

“Your majesty,” Official Chun starts to say. 

However, the King puts his hand up, pausing the conversation from continuing any further. He has already made his decision: you were to keep your position. Your accomplishments have stacked up, leaving the entire country indebted to you and your trained troops. Your reputation in the military is the most impressive—no one can be compared to you. 

Although, it might be too unsettling for the officials for you to remain in your position. There must be some punishment—some kind of way to appease the court while you can still maintain your position, but not harsh enough for you to refute. 

“General (Y/L/N) is to keep her position,” the King announces. He continues, shutting down any more possible verbal opposition. “Our country is indebted to the General. She has obtained previous territories that have been lost in previous battles and she has won countless wars, including the one we have just won. Replacing her would only lead to our doom and, even then, we have no suitable replacement.” 

Official Jeong steps out. “Your majesty.” 

“Accepted, proceed.”

“I believe that’s a wise decision, as expected from our King.” He swallows apprehensively. “However, we cannot leave her be. After all, she has deceived us—including you. What shall we do with her then?” 

The officials murmur and whispers are passed around. Removal is too drastic for the King, therefore an execution is already off the table. No one seems to have any ideas of a possible punishment. 

That is, anyone from the court. 

While the officials scramble for an idea, the Empress’ eunuch, Eunuch Hak, shuffles himself from her side to the King’s throne. 

There’s a hush that falls over the court officials. 

“The Empress requests an audience,” Eunuch Hak whispers to the King. 

“Accepted.” 

From behind her golden curtain, the Empress lifts herself from her spot and gracefully walks towards the court. Her head is held high with elegance and her footsteps are light—almost as if she’s gliding. The officials bow their heads as she walks between them, no one daring to look up at her. 

She stops in front of the throne, smiling as she looks up at the King. 

“Mother,” he says. “How do you suppose we deal with this predicament?”

“I am proposing a marriage.” 

The whispers start up again, unsure of what the Empress is trying to plan. 

“Your highness,” Official Kwon says. “To whom do you think the General shall be married to?” 

Her smile grows. “I believe that the second nephew is the most suitable candidate.” 

“Second nephew?” 

“She doesn’t mean—”

“The second prince?” 

The King straightens in his seat, intrigued with the idea. “You are proposing a marriage between the most distinguished figure in Korea and Yoon Jeonghan?” He takes a small breath in, leaning back with a cocked eyebrow as he contemplates the idea. 

Official Jeong speaks up once more. “Your highness, can you elaborate more as to how this is a suitable punishment?” 

“If you ask me, it’s explanatory,” Official Chun mumbles under his breath. 

Official Mae smirks at the comment, whispering back. “Prince Yoon is nothing more than a joke to the royal family.” 

The Empress lets out a small sigh, proceeding to pretend as if she didn’t hear the rude comments about her grandson. 

“It’s not about punishment.” she says. “It’s about balance.” Seeing the apprehensive look from the King, she continues. “Jeonghan is rather unorthodox. He spends much of his time dancing at the brothels and admiring artwork rather than martial arts or sports.” 

There’s a murmur of agreement amongst the officials. 

The Empress takes it as a sign to continue. “While he is a healthy man with three lovers, he is still uncommitted and unmarried. If the two were to be married, it can help solve the problems that are occurring for both parties.” 

The King nods silently, but awaits for the court. 

“Your majesty,” Official Kwon says.

“Accepted, proceed.” 

“Her highness makes a good argument. I agree.” He thinks for a moment. “Not only would the General be married off to produce a male heir, but the rumors of Prince Yoon could also settle down once he’s married.” 

“Your majesty,” Official Lee says. 

“Accepted, proceed.” 

“I agree with her highness and Official Kwon. This is more advantageous on our part,” he says. “I mean no offense when I say this, but Prince Yoon’s reputation is rather…” He pauses. “Unfavorable, at the moment. The General can help with that change and his with hers when the news spread in the villages.” 

“Your majesty,” the Vice Premier says. “Shall we proceed with the marriage then?” 

“Yes, we shall,” the King says with a nod. “From this day, we shall begin the wedding preparations. Once the General arrives back to the capital, Prince Yoon Jeonghan will become her husband.” 

The Empress moves herself to the sidelines as the King stands up, causing the officials to stop in their spots and lower their heads once more. He steps down from his throne, starting his descent down the stairs and onto the path laid out for him. 

The Vice Premier follows him from the right and his majesty’s eunuch, Eunuch Boo, follows him from the left—their conversation continuing in hushed tones. 

The Empress leaves shortly after the King’s departure with Eunuch Hak on one side and Court Lady Nam on the other, leaving the officials with themselves. 

“Court Lady Nam,” she says. “You shall inform Princess Consort Yoon.” 

“Yes, your highness.” 

She turns to her right. “Eunuch Hak.” 

“Yes, your highness?” 

“Begin the wedding preparations.” 

A/N: As always, thanks for reading! Please don��t ask for updates. If you would like status updates, check out the upcoming post we have with upcoming works that will be posted! 

[gingerteaonthetardis]

Why ginger tea is that a DW reference? ;)

Nine is my favourite. I love ten! But I feel nine is more soft than ten and more inlove with rose it appears. The closeness is everything. Why do you like nine best? If you don't mind me asking 

Btw thanks so much for your screencaps! Book town aesthetic is everything

-

hey, thanks for stopping by, thought i’d answer all of your asks in one! i’m putting them below a cut so people don’t have to wade through my rambling if they don’t want to.

the ‘ginger tea’ in my name is because i have red hair, but it’s also secondarily a doctor who reference, yeah!

and, yeah, don’t get me wrong... i do love ten. i just think he gets a lot of credit for things that nine also does. it’s all sort of moot anyway, because they’re “absolutely the same man,” and i do try to hold myself to that! still... nine deserves more love than he gets.

but then, i’m just sort of a sucker for the underrated ones, my other favorite is eight, lmao, so that really tells me all you need to know about me.

it’s hard to explain why i like nine so much... i think it can be really exemplified by this:

that’s his moral core. that’s his essence, distilled to a line. and i think nine holds to this more consistently than ten does. and i like that... this phenomenally powerful character who chooses, over and over again, to preserve life rather than pursue revenge. it’s this beautiful example of power not having a corruptive influence, something we rarely see on screen and almost never in reality.

i also think nine’s season just holds more nostalgia for me and that colors my perception! like, i’m just plain old biased!

watching series 2 onwards always makes me really bummed, because rose was absolutely my grounding point in the show. i love martha, i love donna, but the show doesn’t feel the same for me, and i don’t have as much fun as time goes on. that falls apart even more as we get into later seasons. i was briefly brought back in by twelve’s run with bill, because i feel like we got... some of that moral core back, as well as this fun father-daughter type dynamic... but i digress.

the point is, i got into the show loving rose and stopped finding anything plausible after she left, because, as many others have said, how are you supposed to actually let go of a character who would never leave the doctor?

rose is powerful, and i’m really just in it for her!! and i think some of her best moments are in series 1.

[plum-pudding-and-honey]

MONTHLY RANGE : Eight & Charley

Storm Warning - 3.5/5 : the plot is not the best thing I've ever seen but it's still a good introduction story for Eight on audio and to be fair it just made me want to drop everything and hop after him. I like Charley's background but I really just can't stand her. I don't hate her, she's interesting and I totally understand that people love her but I've never really warmed up to her. I also have a problem with the "classic" format : 4 episodes of 20-30 minutes which, sure, allows the writers to give the story and the characters more development, but which I find particularly long. I just find it very hard to focus for two hours, unless the story is very compelling

Sword of Orion - 3/5 : (god this is loooong) The atmosphere was interesting, so was Deeva (although I thought her being an android was quite obvious but wtv). The other side characters were all quite boring though and I couldn't bring myself to care about them. The android/human war was also an interesting point, it's a shame it didn't get developed more than that

The Stones of Venice - 1.5/5 : Oh my God do I hate this. Two hours which felt more like six hours of whining and complaining and "Estella, my beloved, forgive me here" and in the end, I'm not even sure whether I want to kill the Duke or myself. Just... zero empathy for this guy and Estella. Pietro was a bit more interesting although fish gondoliers who have evolved to survive the sinking of the city? Really? No. (Not just because evolution doesn't happen over a hundred years. Try a million.) Churchwell was equally annoying (I mean, as a librarian, I'm all for art preservation but have some decency here man) and the cult, well I've got no opinion whatsoever on them, that's how useless they are in all of this. The only thing that kinda made this thing worthwhile was this bit of conversation between the Doctor, Charley and that gondolier guy about the Duke waiting a hundred years for Estella and how Charley points out how long it is waiting for someone to return and how Eight DID wait a hundred years before seeing Fitz again and I'm not okay about this (and this was released shortly after Escape Velocity was published so I'm definitely gonna take this as a Fitz reference fight me on this)

Minuet in Hell - 3/5 : The Doctor being imprisoned and amnesiac for 3/4 of the episode was very looong. I liked the interactions with Gideon Crane but since the viewer already knows which one is the real Doctor, I really didn't see the point of making this last for so long. Also it robbed us of more Eight/Brig time and that's a shame. And those American accents are just horrible, I couldn't understand most of what Dale and the Senator were saying. The vilains and the Psi (psy?) machine were kinda interesting (although they also sounded pretty annoying) but in two hours and a half, they really could have been developed a bit more. Same goes for Becky Lee and her supernatural hunter gig that was way underused. The Brigadier is a huge asset, let's be honest. And the EDAs are canon in the BF universe, so that's that. (yes there was a Fitz reference in The Stones of Venice, I will not shut up)

Invaders from Mars - 2/5 : I love the idea behind this episode : the panic caused by Orson Welles' reading of the War of the Worlds, a false invasion in fact hiding a real invasion. It could have been great. But it's not. First, those accents and voices, again NO. For a medium that relies only on sounds, it's  really a big issue here (I mean how are you supposed to take the alien invaders seriously with those voices???). Mark Gatiss loves the Ice Warriors and we've seen with the Empress of Mars that he can write decent episodes with them so why didn't he use them here? It could have been so creepy (which, for a Halloween episode, would have been neat). Instead he gives us a cheap version of invaders, a nazi guy, Russians and an atomic bomb, and mobsters. And it's too much, it's too confusing, it's too many characters. It's a mess. The Doctor is adorable playing private detective but then he accidentally reveals his plan to the bad guys (I mean...) and the aliens are killed by the Russian guy everybody thought to be dead and his atomic bomb : no, that's bullshit. Also, bury your gays : totally gratuitous and unnecessary (what was even the point?). Yeah, huge disappointment.

The Chimes of Midnight - 6/5 : cHriStmAs wOuLdN't bE cHriStmAs wiThOuT oNe oF mY pLuM puDdiNgS (tfbgvfgtv) Finally something GOOD. Eight is at his best sassfull self, the different parts are well articulated, it's funny and creepy at the same time and the paradox surrounding Charley is well exploited. Robert Shearman even succeeded in making me care about Charley. Edith is touching, even the other characters are, and that ending is really nicely done and coherent. I also really like how Eight is depicted here, especially in his relationship to Charley (and his companions in general). He really cares about her and yet he doesn't tell her the truth, he's been lying to her ever since Storm Warning because he selfishly hopes that if he doesn't speak about it, it's all gonna go away, just like he will do later with Lucie and her auntie Pat and that's Eight in all his glory : he loves his companions but he's got this kind of superiority complex that makes him think he knows better than them and which makes him treat them like shit more often than not (and ok, Charley gets a lot of crap from him). They are all aware of that, as we are, and yet they still love him and we still love him and I don't even know why.

Seasons of Fear - 3.5/5 : The format was interesting, the change of scenery for each episode really helped to not lose interest in the story. I also liked Grayle, he's an interesting villain but the immortality thing could have been handled a bit better in my opinion, especially the losing your loved ones part. I actually liked Charley there and her varied suggestions to get rid of Grayle. The mystery around her thickens and I did not remember that ending! The Nimons were a bit unexpected but ok I guess. But I found the conclusion very disappointing, too easy.

Embrace the Darkness - 4/5 : I love the atmosphere of this one, especially the beginning : the "something touches you in the dark and you realise it's not your friend" trope is classic but the audio only aspect of the thing gives it something more (especially of you listen to it in the dark). Like the previous one, I liked the pace (it didn't feel like this thing would never end which is something worth mentioning). The fact that there aren't too many characters also helps a lot. And I can't help myself to compare it with Sword of Orion : the settings are similar, it's a huis-clos, and they're both written by Nick Briggs. I find Embrace the Darkness much better, the characters are actually likeable (and they all don't die at the end, quite the opposite) and interesting. The Cimmerians were also nicely done and I really liked how different senses are brought into focus here, how the viewer is brought closer to the characters because they can't see. Hearing becomes central then but taste and touch are also prominent (I especially liked the way the Cimmerians share their history with the Doctor and Charley). The Doctor is well-written (I love his "conversations" with Rosum) and this tendency to self pity himself every time he makes a mistake is very Eight (Orbis). 

The Time of the Daleks -  2.5/5 : The first part was good. And then it got so confusing, I actually lost the plot several times because my mind kept drifting away. There are way too many comings and goings through those portals, too many side characters that weren't interesting in the least. Learman's motivations as a villain are ridiculous (she wants to kill Shakespeare to be the only one who remembers him because everyone else is too stupid to understand his works... yeah, right).

Neverland -  4.5/5 : Zagreus sits inside your head, Zagreus lives among the dead, Zagreus sees you in your bed and eats you when you're sleeping (sorry I had to put it). So … yeah, that was breath-taking. That was an amazing conclusion for Charley's arc, the neverpeople are pretty cool and Romana and Rassillon are a nice little treat. The plot is coherent and the two hours and a half passed very quickly which is always worth mentioning. About Eight and Charley, now. As I said, I'm not a fan of Charley : I find her too perfect (and I just can't stand how she speaks, I know it's kinda shallow but when her voice is the only thing you get out of her, that becomes kind of a big deal) and I really don't ship her with Eight (although I recognise that they might be romantically involved, a lot like Ten and Rose, I simply choose to not see it). That being said, I liked how she stood up to the Doctor at the beginning, how she called him out on his bullshit ("Happy Birthday, Charley! Happy Birthday, he says. Only it isn't my birthday. It isn't my birthday because I'm not supposed to have any more birthdays") and used the TARDIS against him. I also liked her comparison with Peter Pan because, yeah, that's the Doctor, she gets it. I understand why she asked him to shoot her at the end but I don't think she was fair asking him to do it because she knows, everybody knows, that he won't do it. He won't do it for someone he despises, so Charley? Nope. And yeah, her dying was the obvious solution, I get that,  but that's the epitome of everything I don't like about her. Charley Pollard, always making the right decision even if it means sacrificing herself, Charley Pollard always nice and caring and clever and adventurous, and in a way she reminds me of Rose (although Rose was a jerk to Mickey) and I hate Rose. As for the Doctor... Finally he gets the consequences of his actions and yet you can't help but feel sorry for him. Because like Charley said he’s sweet and he truly thinks what he’s doing is good. And that cliff-hanger! I AM BECOME ZAGREUS! YES BABY. In conclusion, it’s a great episode, regardless of my feelings towards Charley

Zagreus -  4/5 : Let's be honest, the first time I listened to it, I hated it with all my guts (and I also fell asleep at some point in the middle), so I wasn't really looking forward to giving it another chance. But I'm glad I did. This time I really took the time to listen to it properly and knowing roughly where this was going, I loved it? I mean ok, this thing is more than three hours (not gonna lie, this was really difficult for me) and it's completely bonkers and WTF but there IS a certain coherence to the thing that I hadn't picked on the first time I listened to it. So, let's start with the obvious : Zagreus/the Doctor/Paul McGann giving us the performance of his life. He's GREAT and if I didn't already love him I would certainly after this. He's creepy and disturbing as Zagreus (he slapped Charley!!) and his voice when he's the Doctor, when he begs Charley to kill him ... yeah, I was dying inside there. By the way, I liked the parallel with Neverland and Charley begging the Doctor to kill her, except that she actually does it. The Brigadier/TARDIS was equally brilliant. I got a lot of the Doctor's Wife vibes here - except that the TARDIS is evil and HATES the companions, and her conversation with the Doctor, her fit of jealousy was brilliantly done. I also loved the bits with Five, Six and Seven (except it's not really them but it actually is) and they were hilarious when they're working together towards the end (Tweedledee, Tweedledum and Tweedle-ego). It was a nice hommage to Alice in Wonderland, coherent until the end (and let's be honest the bit with Schrodinger's cat only it's the Doctor who is in the box? Brilliant. Again.) And as an anniversary episode, it worked for me. I probably didn't get all the references but I picked up a few of them and it was nice to include the BF cast, even if it wasn't in their usual roles.

Overall opinion : This is not as bad as I remembered. I postponed relistening to these for a long time because I remembered it way worse than it actually is (in my defence, I listened to those episode some 8 years ago when my English wasn't so fluent). I still don't like the classic format because most of the episodes feel reaaaaally long and I'm not a fan of Charley. I did like her arc though, it was interesting to  explore the fixed in time events and the consequences of the Doctor kicking the laws of time in the nuts, way before Ten. The resolution of this arc was also brilliant in my opinion with the anti-time and the Time Lords/Rassillon mythology. The quality is fluctuant : the Stones of Venice, Invaders from Mars and the Time of the Daleks being the bottom of the barrel while the Chimes of Midnight, Embrace the Darkness and Neverland/Zagreus are amazing. And Eight changes so much through his life : he's so hopeful and sweet and utterly optimistic, a drastic difference from the Time War series (which I just finished before listening to this) where, although his core qualities are still there, deep down, he's lost so much and been through so much crap from everyone. I don't know if any other Doctor went through that much (War Doctor excluded) tbh. His relationship to his companions is also quite unique I think, maybe I'll write something about that one day. Now for the Divergent Universe arc, which I don't remember fondly either. Let's see if I change my mind as well.

[casual-eumetazoa]

i was tagged in a fic interview by @neurtsy - thanks! i have literally no idea who to tag, idk if i’m actually mutuals with any fic writers... if i am forgetting someone i am so sorry, feel free to fill this out and say i tagged you 😶

edit: did remember at least one person askefhsdfg @clockworkcheetah hello lol

Name: Mattie

Fandoms: Doctor Who, Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency and Good Omens are the ones I have written for the most, but I have also written fics for Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Harry Potter, Sherlock BBC and hell knows what else I don’t remember off the top of my head

Where you post: man where don’t i post lol. probably have the most works on AO3 but i’ve also posted just on tumblr, on wattpad, royalroad, fanfiction net, fictionpress, and a bunch of other smaller websites. most of them are pretty dead tbh

Most popular one-shot: [both for this one and next question i assume popularity is counted by kudos and hits] “a lovely light” which is an ineffable husbands one-shot PWP (but it’s almost litfic by style and i am quite proud of how i managed to make like, Poetic Porn if you will). 

Most popular multi-chapter:  “when it’s time” which is another ineffable husbands one but this time it’s PG slow burn (basically remember the episode 3 cold open? it’s 20K of that plus post-canon happy ending) closely followed by “where fire and ice collide” which is a Good Omens / Doctor Who crossover in which Ten and Rose meet Aziraphale and Crowley and investigate A Weird Thing with some other GO characters 

Favourite story I’ve written so far: the one i am most proud of is “Enlightenment” which is one of my original sci-fi novels (i am hoping to actually get it published but one way you can read it is volunteer for beta-reading/proofreading it) but the favorite as in the one i am currently the most emotionally attached to is, unsurprisingly for my followers, my Season 3 DGHDA novel “one septendecillion brass doorknobs”

Fic you were nervous to post: uhhh idk, possibly the first time i ever posted smut which was a couple years ago i think, don’t know why cause actually E rated fics are my most popular lol

How do you choose your titles: i am boring/not creative with them, it’s almost always either a song lyric or a line from a poem or something like that, when it’s not that it is usually some sort of phrase or line that comes up in the actual work later on. i hate coming up with titles so i will gladly take any shortcut available 

Do you outline: almost never. i had to outline for OSBD cause it had a complicated mystery constructed from five different plots that had to come together eventually so i wrote like 10 pages of outlining before i ever sat down to write the first draft. but usually i am 100% a pantser, i have no idea what will happen in the book when i sit down to write it, i usually have a vague sort of understanding of the theme/mood/pace but the actual plot and dialogue and everything happens as it happens. basically i have to do a lot of editing lol

Complete: since it is the beginning of the year i’ll simply refer you to my 2020 year round-up for fics :D in short, i did a couple edits on an original novel, wrote/edited/completed OSBD, and wrote a bunch of shorter ones. in total i think it was around 200K words in a year which is less than i usually manage but hey, 2020 was hell, so all things considered it is a good result

In progress: getting ready to edit “Enlightenment”, again. i don’t want to start any other projects cause i want this novel done and get to querying it already. after that i will be re-writing another sci-fi novel i wrote when i was 18-19, also with the intention to query with it eventually

Coming soon: not much tbh? i’ve decided at some point last year that after i finish OSBD i will focus on original fiction only, not because i hate fanfic now or whatever, but just because i really, really want to be a published fiction author... so yeah, i might write some one shots here and there but i doubt i will take on any longer fanfic projects any time soon

Prompts: every time i take prompts i end up not writing them lmao so you are always welcomed to send them but whether i will write them or not is down to stars or gods or hell knows what tbh

and that’s it! that was fun actually... god i love writing,,,,

[douchebagbrainwaves]

STARTUPS AND WIRED

There is rarely a single brilliant hack that ensures success: I learnt never to bet on any one feature or deal or anything to bring you success. When we cook one up we're not always 100% sure which kind it is. The Web may not be. Some believe only business people can do this with YC itself. The floors are constantly being swept clean of any loose objects that might later get stuck in something. The really juicy new approaches are not the ones that matter anyway. Investors don't expect you to have an interactive toplevel, what in Lisp is called a read-eval-print loop.

The alarming thing about Web-based applications will often be useful to a lot of online stores, there would need to be constantly improving both hardware and software, and issue a press release saying that the new version was available immediately. Admissions to PhD programs in the hard sciences are fairly honest, for example. He said VCs told him this almost never happened. Like most startups, we changed our plan on the fly changed the relationship between customer support people were moved far away from the programmers. It's the same with other high-beta vocations, like being an actor or a novelist.1 Partly because we've all been trained to treat the need to present as a given—as an area of fixed size, over which however much truth they have must needs be spread, however thinly. Bootstrapping sounds great in principle, but this apparently verdant territory is one from which few startups emerge alive. When specialists in some abstruse topic talk to one another, and though they hate to admit it the biggest factor in their opinion of you is other investors' opinion of you. Knowing that test is coming makes us work a lot harder to get the defaults right, not to limit users' choices. Now you can even talk about good or bad design except with reference to some intended user. I can sense that.2 I don't know of anyone I've met.

How can this be? Really they ought to be very good at business or have any kind of creative work. And they're astoundingly successful. The Detroit News. In fact, it may not be the first time, with misgivings.3 The eminent, on the other hand, are weighed down by their eminence.4 And what I discovered was that business was no great mystery. Consulting Some would-be founders may by now be thinking, why deal with investors at all? Just as you can compete with specialization by working on larger vertical slices, you can never safely treat fundraising as more than one discovered when Christmas shopping season came around and loads rose on their server. Once a company shifts over into the model where everyone drives home to the suburbs for dinner, however late, you've lost something extraordinarily valuable.

Y Combinator and most of my time writing essays lately.5 It was only then I realized he hadn't said very much. Actually, there are projects that stretch them. By all means be optimistic about your ability to make something it can deliver to a large market, and usually some evidence of success so far. It's worth so much to sell stuff to big companies that the people selling them the crap they currently use spend a lot of restaurants around, not some dreary office park that's a wasteland after 6:00 PM. At Viaweb our whole site was like a bunch of people is the worst kind. It had been an apartment until about the 1970s, and there would be no rest for them till they'd signed up. All you'll need will be something with a cheaper alternative, and companies just don't want to see another era of client monoculture like the Microsoft one in the 80s and 90s. We can learn more about someone in the first place.6 If you try writing Web-based software will be less stressful. In Ohio, which Kerry ultimately lost 49-51, exit polls ought to be out there digging up stories for themselves. Be able to downshift into consulting if appropriate.

You wouldn't use vague, grandiose marketing-speak among yourselves. Focus on the ones that matter anyway. If they hadn't been, painting as a medium wouldn't have the prestige that it does. These are not early numbers. C: Perl, Python, and even have bad service, and people will keep coming. But angel investors like big successes too. If someone had launched a new, spam-free mail service, users would have flocked to it.

Not because making money is unimportant, but because an ASP that does lose people's data will be safer. In a startup, things seem great one moment and hopeless the next. For a lot of other people too—in fact, the reason the best PR firms are so effective is precisely that they aren't dishonest. You can shift into a different mode of working. Maybe they can, companies like to do but can't.7 Fortunately, I can fix the biggest danger right here. It was not until Hotmail was launched a year later that people started to get it. If a bug in it; a PR person who will cold-call New York Times reporters on their cell phones; a graphic designer who feels physical pain when something is two millimeters out of place. I wish I could say that force was more often used for good than ill, but I'm not sure. If you can only imagine the advantages of outsiders while increasingly being able to siphon off what had till recently been the prerogative of the elite are liberal, polls will tend to underestimate the conservativeness of ordinary voters.8

This was apparently too marginal even for Apple's PR people.9 These were the biggest. Give hackers an inch and they'll take you a mile. Be flexible. When did Google take the lead? But if you were using the software for them. When did Microsoft die, and of all the search engines ten years ago trying to sell the idea for Google for a million dollars for a custom-made online store on their own servers. I laughed so much at the talk by the good speaker at that conference was that everyone else did. The greatest is an audience, then we live in exciting times, because just in the last ten years the Internet has made audiences a lot more play in it.

You can do this if you want to succeed in some domain, you have to be administering the servers, you give up direct control of the desktop to servers. A few steps down from the top you're basically talking to bankers who've picked up a few new vocabulary words from reading Wired.10 There is a role for ideas of course. And that's who they should have been choosing all along. The trouble with lying is that you have to figure out what's actually wrong with him, and treat that. Lots of small companies flourished, and did it by making cool things. As Fred Brooks pointed out in The Mythical Man-Month, adding people to a project tends to slow it down.11 Every audience is an incipient mob, and a lot of compound bugs.

Notes

Which is precisely because they can't legitimately ask you to acknowledge it.

A great programmer might invent things an ordinary one?

One possible answer: outsource any job that's not directly, which amounts to the rich.

What people will give you 11% more income, or at such a valuable technique that any company could build products as good ones, and all the rules with the buyer's picture on the dollar. By this I mean forum in the Sunday paper. 1% a week for 4 years.

Whereas the activation energy required to switch. If Bush had been with us he would have. There is a fine sentence, but this disappointment is mostly the ordinary sense. 1323-82.

And for those interested in investing but doesn't want to live. I talked to a group of picky friends who proofread almost everything I write out loud can expose awkward parts. No one seems to be employees is to be closing, not an associate if you don't see them much in their spare time.

Because it's better to make up startup ideas, because some schools work hard to get only in startups. But you can't mess with the Supreme Court's 1982 decision in Edgar v.

Which helps explain why there are no misunderstandings. If you like the Segway and Google Wave. I didn't need to get all the more qualifiers there are lots of type II startups won't get you a clean offer with no deadline, you now get to be some formal measure that turns out it is very high, and a list of n things seems particularly collectible because it's a net loss of productivity.

If he's bad at it. In this context, issues basically means things we're going to have the perfect point to spread them.

A Plan for Spam I used thresholds of. Google's site.

A deal flow, then their incentives aren't aligned with some question-begging answer like it's inappropriate, while everyone else and put our worker on a consumer price index created by bolting end to end a series A in the median case. Possible exception: It's hard to say that it makes people dumber.

[obsessedwithbbandsuju]

Son Taeyeon Masterlist

*This is my default information on Taeyeon; however, most of it can change based on the scenario (AUs)

*Faceclaim is Kim Taeyeon of SNSD (quite obviously for anyone who’s into kpop)

*All of the ages in this timeline are in South-Korean reckoning, which generally means the people are two years older than they would be in western reckoning if the day of their birthday has not passed for the current year, and one year older than they would be in western reckoning of the day of their birthday has passed for that current year

*Last Updated: 7/19/20

Stage Name: Taeyeon (태연)

Birth Name: Son Taeyeon (손태연)

English Name: Aleah

Group: Pandora // Solo

Other Members: Park Soojin, Han Yuna, Lee Sunbin, Park Minhee

Subunit(s): Arcana (with G-Dragon), Vanitas (with Soojin)

Position: Leader, Main Rapper, Main Dancer, Center/Face of the Group, Vocalist

Agency: YG Entertainment

Birthdate: August 26th, 1993

Debut Date: October 17th, 2006

Zodiac Sign: Virgo

Height: 157 cm (5’3″)

Weight: 43 kg (94 lbs)

Blood Type: A

Nationality: South Korean

Father: Son Chiwon (deceased)

Mother: Lee Jiyu (deceased)

Brother: Son Taeyong [younger by one year]

Facts

Taeyeon was born in Seoul, South Korea and lived there until age 5, when her mother passed away from cardiac arrest, moving away to America (more specifically, Los Angeles) with her father, who was a neurologist, and her younger brother

During the time she was in Korea, she was childhood friends with G-Dragon of Bigbang, but they lost contact after she moved

Taeyeon wanted to be a criminal profiler during her childhood

Since she was young, her father instilled in her the idea of always doing her very best at everything, to the point of surpassing her limits

When she was ten, her father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and she began to worry about how she would care for herself and Taeyong if he died

With that worry in mind, Taeyeon in 2004 participated in a singing competition in which YG Entertainment executives were attending; winning first place, she was scouted by them and auditioned

She auditioned by singing Uhm Jung Hwa’s Rose of Betrayal, rapping to H.O.T.’s Warrior’s Descendant, and dancing to BoA’s Amazing Kiss, and passed

When she gave the news to her father, he disapproved and told her he was going nowhere so she’d have to stay, but Taeyeon responded that she would go on her own

In late 2004, Taeyeon moved to South Korea and lived in the dormitory that YG provided

She requested that half of the funding she received from YGE as a trainee went to her family in America as to make money for Taeyong and her father until her debut

She met Soojin in 2004, when they were both twelve years old (in South Korean age) and became friends with her; upon joining YGE, she found out that Soojin was under the company as well

Taeyeon and Soojin spent their trainee days together

As a trainee, Taeyeon reunited with GD and also met Taeyang, T.O.P, Daesung, and Seungri

She rekindled her friendship with GD soon after entering YGE and also became close with the other Bigbang members

She met Yuna, Sunbin, and Minhee in early 2006

Three months before her debut, her father passed away from his pancreatic cancer

After their father’s death, Taeyeon brought Taeyong to Korea, where he unexpectedly joined YG Entertainment as an actor trainee

Taeyeon lived in the dorms with her fellow members during her teenage years 

Taeyeon is a fan of BoA, Sechskies and Super Junior; she’s also a giant fan of actress Kim Seohyung 

Taeyeon is considered one of the youngest idols to ever debut since she was fourteen (in terms of South Korean age) when Pandora debuted

Taeyeon and Taeyong have a very close relationship due to their father being emotionally distant during their childhood; Taeyong once said that she was both an older sister and a mother figure to him

According to Taeyong, during their teen years, Taeyeon would walk him to school, make sure he ate and slept properly, and help him with his studies, no matter how busy she got; when they were younger she also told off his classmates for picking on him

Because she looked after Taeyong since a young age, Taeyeon is very used to taking care of others and is noted to be mature; Pandora’s other members agree that she is the “parent” of the group, GD stated that she’s great at taking care of others, and Heechul once remarked that despite being much younger than the SuJu members, when they meet she acts like an older sister sometimes

It was because she had to take care of Taeyong that Taeyeon was so determined to become an idol at such a young age; otherwise, she didn’t know how she could look after him, and their father’s death made her even more resolved to be successful

She had her first relationship was when she was sixteen, with a girl the same age as her named Yeon Hyunjung, who eventually broke up with her after about a year

(i) She featured in Bigbang’s Let’s Not Fall In Love MV as GD’s love interest; many people commented that their acting and chemistry were extremely natural, to the point where the dating rumors that had died down started again

(ii) She composed, wrote, and produced the title song for Super Junior’s Mamacita album, Mamacita, as well as the side tracks of the album: Hit Me Up, Islands, and Evanesce

Taeyeon was honored and flattered to compose for and worth with a senior group

(iii) She featured as the “devil” in Super Junior’s Devil MV; according to her, it was funny because by the time of the music video, she was friends with Leeteuk, Heechul, Eunhyuk, Donghae, Ryeowook, and Kyuhyun, but not particularly close with the other members, which made things somewhat awkward during the more touchy scenes

She was a member of the 2017-2018 reality TV show Borrow Trouble Season 2 and the 2018 reality TV show Why Not The Dancer

Taeyeon has worked as a director for Pandora’s concerts since 2015

In addition to being an idol, Taeyeon has starred in a few dramas and movies; (iv) her most well-known roles are Yeon Min-jung in the 2014 MBC drama Jang Bori Is Here, Lee Nayeon/Baek Dohui in the 2016 KBS drama The Promise, Min Chaerin in the 2018 MBC drama Hide and Seek, Yeo Dakyung in the 2020 JTBC drama The World of the Married, and Izumi Hideko in the 2016 film The Handmaiden

Taeyeon works as an emcee occasionally, although she doesn’t often take part in big or long-running shows 

She owns a clothing brand called D’apchier, which began as an online store to sell designs that she produces for fun, but it boomed in Korea, Japan, and China and developed it into a full brand

Taeyeon also owns a sushi restaurant on Jeju Island

She is a Chanel brand ambassador

Taeyeon is very comfortable sleeping in the same room or even on the same bed as close male friends because she always slept in the same bed as Taeyong to comfort him since they were young

The other members of Pandora are like sisters to her, because she’s known and worked with them for so long

Taeyeon says that if she could date any of her members, she would date Soojin; the other members also joke that the two of them are in love, which Taeyeon and Soojin like to playfully affirm by saying, “We’re desperate for each other.” 

The Bigbang members are like brothers to her

She sometimes jokingly calls T.O.P. and Taeyang “hyung”

Out of Bigbang, Taeyeon thinks Taeyang would be the best husband

Taeyeon and GD half-jokingly refer to the other as "my soulmate”

They call each other this and are partially serious about it because they consider each other to be the person who understands them best thanks to their many similarities

She is friends with all of Super Junior from working with them with the exception of Hangeng, Zhoumi, and Henry, but she’s especially close to Heechul, Leeteuk, Yesung, Eunhyuk, Donghae, Ryeowook, and Kyuhyun

She became friends with Heechul in 2009 when they emceed together during Inkigayo; Leeteuk, Shindong, Sungmin, Eunhyuk, Donghae, Siwon, Ryeowook, and Kyuhyun in 2014 when she worked with them for SJ’s MAMACITA album; Yesung in 2015 during her feature as the “devil” in SJ’s Devil MV

Because of how close they are, Heechul likes to jokingly ask her to marry him to which she jokingly responds that she’ll think about it

The two also like to link arms while walking and call each other “honey”, “my man”/”my woman”

Heechul has a signature nickname for Taeyeon – “devil” – because of how crafty she is, according to him, and Taeyeon has a signature nickname for Heechul – “nutcase” – for obvious reasons, she says

She is friends with Jessica Ho, better known as Jessi, a solo artist

Taeyeon is close with both 2NE1 and Blackpink, especially CL from the former and Rosé from the latter

Taeyeon is friendly with Sunny, Hyoyeon, and Sooyoung of SNSD, and former member Jessica; her shared name with SNSD’s Taeyeon is running joke

She’s also acquainted with all of SHINee’s members and friends with Key and Taemin

Taeyeon has been friends with Song Mino of Winner - also the same age as her - since he joined YGE, because both of them enjoy rap so much

She is also friends with the comedian Yoo Jaesuk

Taeyeon is rather friendly with Rihanna and Beyoncé, both of whom she met while working internationally

Taeyeon loves to write and compose songs, a shared passion that helped in re-establishing her friendship with GD

Taeyeon writes and composes her group’s tracks, sometimes with the other members’ help, and writes and composes all her solo discography; she also writes, composes, and produces other groups’ discography

She had a hand in the lyrics and production of 2NE1′s hit song I Am The Best

According to the other members of Pandora, Taeyeon guides the group, is the strictest one out of them all, has high expectations for her members and those that she works with, and is very meticulous; she also prefers to keep a distinct line between work and personal matters

This is why Taeyeon makes sure to clarify that she and the other members gathered together to work, although they love each other after so long together – therefore, internal or personal disagreements have no place interfering with or threatening their continued existence as a group

What complements and softens her strictness and natural exigence, however, the members and others around her say, is that she’s “warm-hearted” and takes good care of everyone that she works with; also, the results of her attention to detail are almost always very good, making the payoff worthwhile

Taeyeon is an excellent cook

She's an excellent driver and can adjust quickly to driving unfamiliar cars, as seen when she appeared on Running Man

In college, Taeyeon double-majored in neuroscience and anthropology

She and Soojin attended the same college

Taeyeon has a wide range of interests, but she admits that sometimes it’s not a good trait, since it often prevents her from focusing properly on any one topic 

By nature she loves to learn, even if what she knows never has any practical application, so she often tries random things for fun; it often annoyed her members when they lived together in their dorm

The other members of Pandora are at a consensus that the most apt way to describe Taeyeon is a ‘renaissance man’ (much to her chagrin)

Her most treasured possession is her wide collection of books

Some of Taeyeon’s favorite books are We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson, No Longer Human by Dazai Osamu, Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky, Demian by Hermann Hesse, Unfinished Tales by J.R.R. Tolkien, The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien, The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms by NK Jemison, Circe by Madeline Miller, The Devil Aspect by Craig Russell, The Silence of the Girls by Pat Barker, Fox Girl by Nora Okja Keller, and Paradise Lost by Milton

She also loves the webnovels Èr Hā Hé Tā De Bái Māo Shī Zūn by Meatbun Doesn’t Eat Meat and Tian Guan Ci Fu by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu

Taeyeon enjoys learning about mythology, particularly Greek and Norse mythology

Taeyeon has an IQ of 189, and consistently maintained the number one spot in her class during her time in university

Out of all the members of Pandora, Taeyeon is the worst at taking photos

She’s also the worst at doing makeup since she rarely wears it outside of work

A complete homebody, when Taeyeon isn’t at work, she’s usually in her house, either working or, according to Soojin, “learning about random new things that will never be relevant to her life”

She and Soojin both agree that extreme sports seem fun and love trying them when the opportunity comes on variety shows

She has played the piano, violin, and guitar since childhood, but has also picked up the cello and flute

Her favorite variety shows are Running Man, Radio Star, Knowing Bros, SNL Korea, and Super TV/Super TV2

She learns choreography the fastest of the Pandora members – about a few hours if she works nonstop

Taeyeon is introverted and has a “naturally calm” personality (according to Heechul); she’s more playful with people she trusts and is close to

The people close to her attest that she has excellent self-control and rarely ever loses her cool, to the point where it’s sometimes almost freaky, and that when she’s angry, she speaks calmly; in Yuna’s opinion, that makes it scarier

When a disagreement occurs, Taeyeon’s method of resolving is almost always to sit with the opponent and talk it out; because of this, she’s Pandora’s go-to problem solver

Taeyeon is agnostic

She believes in aliens because she thinks it’s unlikely that Earth is the only planet in the universe able to sustain life; she thinks ghosts might be real, but if they are, not all of them are malicious or looking to frighten people

She learned Muay Thai since a young age at her father’s strict commands, since he wanted her to be able to defend herself; that learning came in handy when, in 2010, a man tried to kidnap Sunbin and Taeyeon managed to delay him long enough for the bodyguards to restrain him

Her MBTI type is INTJ

Minhee once commented that it’s frustrating to get in an argument with her because of how relentlessly logical she is

She’s very openminded when it comes to differences of opinion, as long as those differences can be well-supported rationally

Taeyeon is bisexual and an LGBTQ+ supporter 

Taeyeon is known for being witty and having quick reactions during verbal banter, resulting in her popularity in variety shows; on top of this, she’s not afraid to make the hosts a victim of her wit, either

Heechul, GD, Soojin, and Minhee all attest that she’s also as witty off-screen

When she goes on variety shows with other Pandora members, she usually becomes less talkative because she likes watching what they do on screen, but she steps in when she feels like it could help her members

She doesn’t follow a strict diet due to her fast metabolism, but opts to avoid certain foods and exercise often for health reasons; because of this, she’s a fast runner and is also good at sit-ups

She’s the most flexible member of Pandora

Taeyeon has great lower-body strength, lifting Kim Gura on her back and walking for a few seconds in Radio Star, and lifting Eunhyuk on her back and walking for a few seconds in Strong Heart

Taeyeon is ambidextrous, but slightly favors her left hand

Her favorite food is jjampong, but soondae and kimchi japchae also come close

She can hold her alcohol well, but she doesn’t drink often because it’s bad for her health

She’s a night person and in fact states that she feels more alert when the sun is down

Her favorite animal is the leopard; she’s just been fascinated with them since childhood

As seen on variety shows, Taeyeon has an extremely competitive side because she genuinely enjoys challenges

She’s very good at holding in her laughter

Leeteuk compares her sense of humor to that of Ryeowook or Kyuhyun of Super Junior – teasing and sharp

She’s very firm when she’s talking about serious matters, which is why she’s Pandora’s main representative for negotiations with the company – leading to her nickname “Manager Taeyeon”

Taeyeon is generally a very straightforward person with regards to most things; for example, she’s not the type to hide it if she’s interested in someone else unless there are specific circumstances holding her back, despite the fact that she’s good at hiding her feelings

Sometimes, though, Taeyeon likes to make her feelings obvious as a way of flirting

She treats romantic relationships seriously and tends to meet the same person for a long time, but ironically, she’s good at casually flirting

According to Soojin, Taeyeon is the type to retain her independence and life even in the midst of a relationship, and not someone who obsesses over her partner

She can, however, be very protective of the people that she cares about, and holds intense grudges against anyone who hurts them

She’s prone to keeping her problems to herself, which can sometimes lead to misunderstandings between her and people who are close to her

Taeyeon since childhood has always been rather pessimistic and often imagines the worst-case scenario; as a result, she worried quite a lot, and can sometimes be draining to be around

Taeyeon suffers from depression, but no one would guess unless they knew her well because she makes sure to stay lively and witty unless she’s with people she’s really close to 

Taeyeon is and has been a perfectionist since childhood; she is known as a “complete workaholic”, since the majority of her time is spent working in any way that she can (writing lyrics, composing music, designing, etc.)

Her perfectionist nature was only exacerbated by both her father and aunt, who had very high expectations of everything she did

The people close to her attest that she works on one thing or another when any spare time presents itself – in the car, in the waiting room, during hair and makeup preparations, etc.

Because she is such a perfectionist, Taeyeon is somewhat of a control freak; it makes her intensely uncomfortable to lose control of things relevant in her life

This is part of the reason why she insists on participating in every aspect of Pandora’s or her solo discography, including writing, composing, producing, choreography, and directing; it’s still mainly because she has a passion for expressing herself through music, but she also feels anxious if she doesn’t touch on everything

Taeyeon isn’t one to be bothered by hate and likes to read anti comments to get ideas from them, saying that many she comes across are actually very witty

Taeyeon remembers a bit about her mother and thinks about her often; she wonders how her mother would feel to see where she is now, how her mother would feel about her still complicated feelings about her father, and how her life might have changed if her mother had lived

She thinks that her love for reading and writing came from her mother, who read to her every day when she was young

Publically, Taeyeon vaguely admitted that she “felt awkward” around her father up until his death; in truth, though, part of her resented and still resents him for never being there for either her or Taeyong

However, her father still occupies her thoughts, and the unresolved state of their relationship makes it even harder for her to forget him; (v) Her songs Fine and Time Lapse, which she wrote and had a hand in composing and producing, was largely based on her feelings toward him

In Taeyeon’s opinion, she inherited a lot of her father’s traits, namely his workaholic tendencies, perfectionist attitude, love for learning, and his pessimism and tendency to distance himself emotionally

Taeyeon is noted for having a wide variety of concepts when it comes to the songs she writes, composes, and performs; while YG is mainly known for its hip-hop and Taeyeon has gone that route several times, too, she also tends to experiment

Because of this tendency to be experimental, Taeyeon and the rest of Pandora have been noted for being “concept chameleons” by some

When asked if all the songs are from personal experience, Taeyeon replied: “No, not exactly. Some of them are, but others... I like to make up stories and characters in my head and experience things vicariously through those characters that I can’t experience in reality. Some of my compositions’ lyrics come from that, too. It’s kind of odd, but in the end I see it as another form of expression.”

Because of her interest in linguistics, Taeyeon enjoys learning new languages

Taeyeon can speak English (from growing up in America), Korean (from her time in Korea and taught to her extensively by her father), Mandarin (learned during work abroad), Japanese (learned during work abroad), and Spanish (learned in school and during work abroad) fluently; she’s good at Thai and French, and knows some German, Italian, Filipino, and Russian

Taeyeon firmly believes that men and women can be friends, since many of her good friends are male

She's had a lot of dating rumors because she has numerous male friends, although people have accepted now that many of them are just that - friends

When Arcana first debuted, there was an explosion of dating rumors about her and GD, thanks to their chemistry, close relationship, and numerous interactions on/off camera

She is also shipped frequently with the other Bigbang members, most often Daesung and Taeyang (until he got married), due to their interactions on variety shows and award shows

On top of this, Taeyeon is often shipped with Super Junior members –mostly Heechul, Leeteuk, and Eunhyuk – due to being especially close with them despite being under different companies; they are often seen interacting behind cameras or at music broadcasts, and enthusiastically enjoying each other’s performances

Taeyeon is a somewhat controversial figure in South Korea because she (and the rest of the Pandora members) is more outspoken about her concerns regarding the double standards against women in the industry as opposed to men, as well as South Korea’s sexism in general; she has also delved into topics such as LGBTQ rights and the stigma against idols dating

Taeyeon’s ideal type: “Honestly, I don’t really have one. My basic requirements for a relationship are that we love each other, respect each other, and enjoy each other’s company. I think things like ‘ideal type’ complicate matters. I do like humor in a partner, though.”

Kwon Jiyong/Son Taeyeon 

— General Information

— Scenarios  

Finally // Fluff+Smut

Friends, part i // Angst

Too Late for Regrets // Angst

Not Quite // Angst

You // Fluff+Smut

For You // Angst

Thanks // Fluff

Half of You // Angst+Fluff

Worth It // Angst+Fluff

Park Jungsoo/Son Taeyeon

— Scenarios  

I’m With You // Angst+Fluff+Smut

Friends, part i // Angst

No Strings Attached // Smut (preview)

In Love, part i, part ii // Angst+Fluff

In The Night // Fluff

Forever // Fluff

Faker [Mafia!AU], prologue // Angst+Fluff+Smut

Lee Hyukjae/Son Taeyeon

— Scenarios

Growing Pains, part i // Angst

Love Scenario, part i // Angst

Kim Heechul/Son Taeyeon

— Scenarios

Ignore Them // Fluff

No Strings Attached // Smut+Fluff (preview here)

The Two of Us // Fluff

_________________

(i) Obviously not true, since Son Taeyeon isn’t real. The actress who played GD’s love interest in the MV for Let’s Not Fall In Love is Seo Yejin

(ii) Credits to the real people who worked on and created Mamacita, Hit Me Up, Islands, Midnight Blues, and Evanesce, which are: 

Lyrics: 유영진 Composer: Teddy Riley, 유영진, DOM,이현승, J.SOL (Jason J Lopez) Arranger: Teddy Riley, DOM, 이현승

Lyrics: 이채윤 Composer: Teddy Riley, DOM, 이현승 for (TRX), Daniel “Obi” Klein, Mage Arranger: Teddy Riley, DOM, 이현승 for (TRX),

Lyrics: 서지음, 이유진, 조윤경 Composer: Ricky Hanley, Alex Holmgren, Andreas Stone Johansson Arranger: 돈스파이크

Lyrics: 신진혜, 이유진 Composer: Jason Gill, Curtis Richa, Emanuel Olsson Arranger: Jason Gill, Curtis Richa, Emanuel Olsson

Lyrics: Misfit Composer: Teddy Riley, DOM, 김태성, ���드류 최 Arranger: Teddy Riley, DOM, 김태성, 앤드류 최

(iii) The actress in Super Junior’s Devil MV is a model named Angelina

(iv) The first three roles mentioned were played by the actress Lee Yoo-ri, the fourth role mentioned were played by the actress Han Sohee, while the last role mentioned was played by the actress Kim Minhee

(v) The songs Fine and Time Lapse are sung by none other than King Taeyeon of SNSD, and credits to the real people who worked on and created it, which are:

Lyrics/작사: 진리 Composer/작곡: Michael Woods, Kevin White, Andrew Bazzi, Shaylen Carroll, MZMC Arranger/편곡: Rice n` Peas

[dansiere]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm. tagged by: @breselin, & @citialiin; thank you for the tag! I was planning on stealing it. tagging: @rosiqe, @noirtux, @goldgliitters, @ndeavor,  @reminiscentsky, @battleshell, @ettards & whoever else wants to do this. Just steal it & tag me. -- go wild.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated [loosely affiliated mainly due to the fandom’s size. I am quite open to crossovers of any kind, really even if it takes me a while to open up.]

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. [she is one of the deuteragonists; has been around since the pilot & while she has been sidelined during the epilogue, she was usually at least around with her story arc / actions having a huge impact on the overall story as such.]

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. [I guess so? Then again, that’s an objective statement so I am just? Assuming? I personally find her general aesthetics to be quite amazing; she is a dance battler, graceful & elegant; a ballerina with a classical theme that runs through her design & attitude like a red threat. I have a weak spot for stuff like that.]

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. [surprisingly, Pearl is considered to be the strongest non-fusion Crystal Gem according to the show (until Lapis Lazuli comes around). -- I assume prowess wise Pearl is high up next to Garnet & Rose whenever she can actually get her crap together due to having fought countless battles &, most importantly, survived the war in which she fought & shattered opponents thrice her size.]

Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK. [partially yes, partially no. She is controversial for sure but just as popular. At some point, the show delved deeper into her issues & actually had her mess up quite severely; the fandom’s reaction was so harsh that the showrunners had to interfere by “apologizing for making her human”. Pearl has always been a target for extreme criticism; some of it justified, some just straight down ridiculous.  -- It’s easy to forget what kind of complexity a character can offer when her resolution arc happens literally ten episodes before the show ends.]

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. [Pearl becomes Steven’s guardian / mentor after the death of his mother Rose Quartz & can later be considered his stand-in mother alongside Garnet. It is safe to say that her actions have influenced Steven the most, both negatively & positively.]

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO. [she earned herself the title ‘The Renegade’ during the war for being the first (& arguably only) pearl that broke out of her conditioning; she used to be a wanted criminal / traitor to her own kind for 5000 + years until her record was cleared upon the beginning of Era 3 (aka official end of the Gem War). She is still being referred to as ‘The Renegade’ now & then; while she used to be proud of the title she has grown to resent it a lot these days.]

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. [it depends on who you ask; Homeworld Soldiers? Well, they despise her; she is a defective Gem & a war criminal. She stands for all that is wrong with the rebellion; I mean a pearl who refuses to serve & calls herself an individual? a warrior? THE SCANDAL!! Some soldiers are afraid of her, call her ‘Rose Quartz’ terrifying renegade’, even. However, in her ranks aka the rebellion, she is being seen as a silent heroine. A celebrated war hero, Rose Quartz’s right hand & sole confidante (some even whisper that there is more between them).]

How strictly do you follow canon?  — uh... well. Not really but... kinda? Steven Universe’s canon is messy & occasionally QUITE inconsistent. -- while it gives you vague details, some lore can best be compared to a gaping void. Thus my reason for partial divergence isn’t lack of good character writing (because Pearl is very, very complex even on screen), but rather inconvenient lore holes & SU’s habit of leaving important facts uncommented, “unshown” or just stuck between the lines. While I don’t mind deep analysis, some of those “buried facts” fly other people’s heads which leads to terrible, terrible fanon takes. -- in order to distance myself from that, I usually take canon & expand it with my own headcanons & metas based on lore / show analysis. I often alter / cut what does not fit my narrative BUT I always root my stuff in actual canon occurrences.

     Sometimes, I just straight down change certain things that canon messed up in my pov. For example, in order to make it explicitly clear that she fell in love & rebelled on her own volition (even if it has been confirmed like ten times by now), my Pearl is around 1500 years older than the original & (in)directly served White Diamond before being handed to Pink (not the only reason for that change but well I will elude on it eventually). She was a default pearl with no customization & usually spent most of her time with organizing matters in the palace until Pink accidentally broke her customized pearl; Pearl was then 'poofed’ & handed over; she possessed a more sensible personality & a strict rule protocol that was supposed to help her “raise” Pink Diamond into the ranks of a ruler. Most other changes are rather minor but very important or essential to my portrayal (for example whenever “A Single Pale Rose” is concerned: Pearl suggesting the “sealing of the secret”, her not wearing the dress from the beginning, her not calling Pink “my diamond”, her arguing with Pink long before the fake-shattering took place, etc etc.); the epilogue series is another can of worms I will get to eventually but lemme just say I didn’t really like the way Pearl behaved / the plot-bound ooc-ness she sometimes yielded to & other stuff. 

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  well, she is a lesbian space rock from a strange universe; whose body is basically a manifestation of light? She is probably the most passionate being you will ever meet. -- if you are looking for a speedrun through human history, she is your gal. If you need someone to beat up some bullies, she will gladly come & smack sense into people; if you want to learn everything about Gemkind, sit down & listen because she won’t stop talking any time soon. 

     By definition, Pearl is a good person; the extreme loyal kind, absolutely & helplessly dedicated to a cause. She wears most of her emotions on her sleeve, comes off as genuinely caring, protective & trustworthy. She is empathetic & observant, she will always be there for you in one way or another. She is smart, loves to read & indulges in the higher arts such as (romantic) poetry, singing, painting, music (violin, piano, bass) & dance (predominately classic ballet / waltz but she has grown rather fond of jazz lately). Her knowledge about Earth & all that lays beyond is vast & if you ever want to see whatever is out there, she is the type to take you on a space tour with no questions asked. She fences, has learned to wield a lance, can engineer very well, has a very peculiar but... sorta adorable kind of humour that can either be hella obnoxious or super funny. There is no in-between. Pearl loves science, baking, housekeeping, ice-& roller-skating & is more than willing to take people along whenever she visits the rink. If you ask her for advice, she will gladly give it; if you need help, she will be the first to raise her hand. Pearl is orderly, has a strong sense of justice & a fierce, dedicated kind of resolve. 

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  Pearl. Is. A. Mess. No questions asked. She is an introverted, nervous, neurotic, grief-- & trauma riddled mess who loves to pretend & rationalize things to death. Her self-esteem is abysmal, she is extremely jealous, obsessive & possessive [to the point where she straight up murdered men just because they dared to be around her girlfriend]. Her mind is a compartmentalized mess of repressed memories & heavy, untreated cptsd woven into it; Pearl lives too much inside her head & gets overwhelmed by her emotions far too easily; she feels too much all at once & lets her temper get the best of her. 

     She is self-centred, does not seem to understand that words & reckless actions hurt people, believes that only she deserves to grieve Rose & willingly destroyed relationships just to soak in her own misery; self-destruction is her forte & she will indulge in it no matter the consequences. She is often high-strung, judgemental, always has to be right, overachieves & overdoes whenever a chance is given. -- she can be petty, arrogant & desperate for validation. --  Needless to say, Pearl is the kind of person that pretends to be fine for years but once she cracks she reveals that she is anything but. -- she cannot move on, hates men, & just is a lot to deal with. Getting in touch with her means you run the risk to get dragged into her mess, whenever you want it or not. 

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  first & foremost, my love for complex, purpose-driven female characters. I am a sucker for the “introvert, plagued lady” type & once parts of Pearl’s past were revealed during Season 1 I was sold. Pearl seemed relatable to me, extremely human & raw in her behaviour. While I love most of the SU cast equally, Pearl just wouldn’t let me go. Her aesthetic is amazing, her past intriguing. -- her connection to ballet & classical music, her elegant & graceful design just spoke to me. 

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  music. music. oh, and music. Poetry, long walks (I am not kidding), analysis, meta & hc writing, discussions with writing partners or my rl partner @rosiqe.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? [ despite my emo peculiar take on the character, I do hope that people hear her voice whenever they read my replies. ]

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / SORT OF? [ I wish I could post more but I am very, very slow & a perfectionist at heart. -- I try to compensate for my lack of actual hcs by rambling in my tags. Most part of the time said ramblings include personal headcanons or analyses of specific scenes that include personal takes on pivotal situations; while I gather & write them down eventually, it can take me a long time to get stuff done. -- it is easier for me to jus blabber on & on in the tags. ]

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO [ all my ask replies are drabbles, ngl. ]

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO / SORT OF? [... a sore topic. While I love my headcanons & have gotten quite proud of my writing over time, I constantly doubt myself regarding the “ic”-ness of my responses. I like to believe that I am doing rather well, but I am not confident, no. ]

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO. [ it took me a long time to develop my style; while I always struggle to believe in my portrayal I am quite confident in my writing as such. I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea but in general? I am proud of it. ]

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. / SORTA.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  Well, yes. As long as it is the constructive kind. I love receiving feedback, may it be negative or positive. I will most likely try to discuss criticism with you; aka if you (i.e) tell me that Pearl shouldn’t have (C)PTSD, I will deliver canon proof & state my reasoning for my decision to implement it in my canon, etc. What I will not do is tolerate character hate or unreasonable hate towards my writing. Be assured that I will never headcanon something that has no solid footing in canon.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  ABSOLUTELY. Send me random hc / meta asks, I beg you.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  sure. As stated above, I will probably discuss stuff with you. The chance of me dropping a headcanon however are rather low.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  Hm... it depends on what they don’t like. If it’s my writing, well, why are you following me to begin with?? If it is my take on things... well again, why are you following me? I stated in my rules what you should expect & that I will not water down specific aspects of a complex character. Disliking my portrayal is fine since I know that my kind of writing / analysis isn’t necessarily everyone’s tea but... again, why would you keep following me?

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  um. Not... well? While I will never excuse my muse’s actions, I dislike groundless bashing. In regard to Pearl... well. As stated above, I expected backlash the second I created this blog. Pearl is one of those characters the fandom either loves or hates; her canon relationship to Rose was branded toxic by a ton of people, people call her uncaring, salty, insane & straight up manic, she seemingly has no redeeming qualities, she is a bitch, too perfect (LOL) or arrogant & apparently has no character? I love it when people say stuff like that because... did we watch the same show? Is there a version of SU I don’t know? Please tell me, I wanna see it for myself! Some hot takes in this fandom are atrocious & make me want to commit a crime. 

     -- but I digress. I have spent too much time in her tag in 2014 + & I have seen quite the fights over the most ridiculous things; Pearl, in particular, got quite the flack for stuff that eventually got resolved in season 5 [which, again, was way too late but well]. In the end, clowns will be clowns, no matter what you do. I just don’t get why you would follow someone if you hate their character to begin with.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  yes, but please don’t be rude about it. I am German, English is my second language. I am currently learning Swedish / improving my Swedish so mistakes can always happen. Additionally, I am someone who posts her replies in the middle of the night & while I proofread a lot & most likely fix posts after I posted ‘em, some mistakes can still slip through. 

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  ... I like to believe I am but I know that I am overly passionate & I can come off as too strong or too fierce sometimes. I can be too much, I can be too excentric (I’m a Scorpio, Karen); I have strong opinions in regard to my characters & I will not hold them back. I criticise shows mercilessly & I will plough through canon as much as I please. Stans & I usually don’t get along. HOWEVER, I am a meme. I love lame jokes, I am awkward, & sometimes very, very insecure. In the end,  I just wanna talk about my favourite characters & develop sth wonderful. I keysmash unironically, I use old memes unironically. I mean I have been writing for ten + years & I am about to smooth sail post the 24 age border aka I will turn 25 soon which renders me old according to tumblr standards. I am just here to have fun before the staff comes to lock my account down due to my status as an rp-senior. -- yeah... that is the kind of stupid ass humor I mean. I digress but... please, I am an awkward, rambling mess, just hit me up via dms & you will see what I mean. 

[thanks--for--listening]

the pains of the past

why yes i DID binge AWAE in three days and then immediately write fanficiton for it. takes place during season 1 before Gilbert’s dad died. also on AO3

--

It was the smell this time. 

Usually it was sounds. Noises that brought memories from the depths of her mind up into the forefront, paralyzing her until the moment from time had passed. Despite their frequency, they always seemed to catch her by surprise, and afterwards she often spent hours trying to fully shake off their grasp. Still, she felt as if she knew how to handle them, knew how to bring herself back when a sound sent her reeling to houses she’d left behind. 

But smells, she’d discovered. Smells were much worse. 

She felt the world around her slip away. The storefronts, the horses, the shoppers and townsfolk rushing to escape the brisk winter air. All of it melted into nothing. The only thing that existed was the smell of burnt chocolate, surrounding her like a raging fire, taking time and air and Avonlea with it. 

Anne watched as the familiar walls of the Hammond house rose out of the ground around her. She felt herself turn back, shrink from her current thirteen years to just barely eleven. She could hear crying coming from somewhere behind her — she always heard crying when she went back to that house. The yelling always followed, with pain not far behind. 

They’d only had chocolate once. Mr. Hammond had been in a pleasant mood, a rare occurrence in itself, and had dropped the sweets on the kitchen table. “Bake these into something,” he’d told her. She’d tried to tell him that no one had taught her to bake before, that she only knew how to cook, but he’d acted as if her words had disappeared the minute they’d come out of her mouth, and had left whistling an unfamiliar tune. 

Staring at the dessert, she thought she might melt them. She’d read somewhere that those who had time and money often melted chocolate and dipped whatever they could find into it. She’d placed them in a pot, hung it over the fire, but one of the twins started crying, and when one cried the other always joined, and by the time she’d come back to the fire, the pot had turned black and smoke filled the room. The sweet smell had turned bitter, oppressive as it spread across every room of the too-small house.

Mr. Hammond’s mood soured quicker than the chocolate. She’d been thrown into the table, onto the ground, dragged outside before she’d even had the chance to take the pot off the heat. She’d lost count of how many times he whipped her that night. When he finished, he left her outside, locked the door before she could even drag herself off the tree stump. She spent the night there, staring at the stars, begging for sleep to take the pain away. It never did. 

A hand on her arm yanked her out of the yard and back into town. The sounds hit her all at once, and she closed her eyes, grimaced in pain. She instinctively reached to cover her ears, but an arm still held onto hers. She tried to turn, to open her eyes and see who it belonged to, but the memory’s grip relented, and she felt as if it was physically trying to pull her back, back into the cold and dark, into the pain of the past. 

She felt herself moving, the hand on her arm guiding her away from wherever she was. Eventually she felt a wall behind her back, felt another hand on her arm guiding her to the ground. 

It wasn’t until she was sitting down that she finally felt air flowing through her lungs, heart calming down just enough for her to open her eyes and see the boy standing in front of her.

“Gil,” She exhaled, not able to say more than the first syllable and not louder than a whisper. She saw his lips moving, but she couldn’t quite hear him yet. She closed her eyes again, let his words slip into focus. 

“—aren’t you saying anything? Anne? You’re scaring me, Anne.”

“Gil,” She said again, more to herself than to him. She used his name as an anchor, let it settle her back into the present, let it bring memories of Green Gables to the forefront of her mind, in place of the Hammond house. 

“Anne.” He sighed as he said her name, and sat down on the ground in front of her. “What happened? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she said, suddenly remembering where she was. When she was. Most importantly, who she was with. 

“Are you sure? Because a second ago you were...gone.”

“Gone?”

“I called your name. Stood right in front of you, and you didn’t move. It was like you were looking through me. Like you were frozen, or asleep with your eyes open. You were here, but you weren’t here.”

“Oh.”

“What was that? What happened to you?”

“Nothing happened, Gilbert. I’m fine.”

“If you’re fine, then why are you still shaking?”

She looked down, held her hand in front of her body, and silently cursed at the way it trembled. She quickly put it back down, placed her other hand over it. Willed her body to relax. 

“I’m fine now,” she insisted, “so if you don’t mind, I’ll just be on my way.”

“No, you won’t.”

“Excuse me?”

“You think I’m letting you walk home? After that?”

“You think you can stop me?”

“Oh, I know I can stop you.”

“I think you’ve gravely underestimated me, Gilbert Blythe,” She said, and she tried to stand up, to storm off and prove her point, but the minute she was upright the world seemed to spin, and only the wall behind her kept her on her feet. 

“Woah, easy,” he said, and she didn’t want to let him ease her back to the ground, but she didn’t have the strength to stop him. She closed her eyes again, let the world realign itself, before she looked back at him. 

“I didn’t ask for your help,” she told him, trying to put as much bite in the words as she could. 

“Well, you’re welcome,” he said, and she did her best to glare at him, but he just seemed amused instead of intimidated. 

“I’m serious,” she said. “I’ll be fine.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I’m always fine. It goes away after a while.”

“What does?” He asked, and she didn’t know why, but there was something in his voice that made her want to answer. 

“The memories.” 

“Is that what happened?” He asked, choosing his words carefully. “You...remembered something? About before?”

“It’s more than that.” She searched for the words to describe it, realizing that she’d never spoken about the sensation aloud before, not this directly and certainly not to another person. “It’s as if I’m truly in the moment again. As if I’ve traveled back in time. Usually it’s sounds that take me there.”

“What was it this time?”

“The smell of burnt chocolate coming from the bakery.” 

“Does it always...make you like this?”

“It usually isn’t this bad,” she insisted. “I know how to deal with sounds. I can snap myself out of it much faster that way, listen and talk my way back into time. The smell was harder to break away from. I’m not sure why.”

“Where…” he started to say, swallowing before he continued. “Where did the smell take you?”

Logic told her to leave it well alone, to shut her mouth before he stared at her like everyone else did when she reminded them of where she came from, but a feeling deep in her stomach told her to continue. “The house I worked at,” she said, “before I came here. The Hammonds.”

“You worked?” He asked, and she nodded. “Doing what?”

“Doing everything.” He made a face, and she sighed. “You know — I cleaned, cooked, took care of the children, chopped wood, helped keep up the land. Normal stuff.”

“How old were you when you started working there?”

She thought for a moment. “Around ten? Maybe eleven? They don’t care much for our birthdays in the asylum, so I lost track a few times.”

“Were they nice? The Hammonds?” He asked, and the way he asked it made her believe he already knew the answer, but wished he was wrong.

She shook her head anyway. “No. They were not nice.”

He looked down, and she could see him thinking of the question, and she knew him too well to believe that he wouldn’t ask it. Even if it looked as if he didn’t want to. 

“What was the memory?” His voice was dark and either sad or angry, Anne couldn’t quite tell. “The one of burnt chocolate?”

She felt it again, that feeling in her stomach that seemed to push the words up onto the tip of her tongue. So she told him. 

He ran a hand through his hair when she was finished, and Anne wondered whether he’d always had that nervous habit, and how she hadn’t noticed it until now. 

“Did that happen a lot?” He asked, but he wouldn’t look at her, and the way he spoke made her think just saying the words caused him pain. “What they did to you?”

“Yes,” she whispered. 

“How could you stand it?” She didn’t quite know what to do with the question. No one had ever asked her that before. Most people, despite their incessant reminders of her origins, seemed to only want to discuss her past in vague references. She’d learned quickly that details pushed people away, made them think about horrors they wished to ignore. 

Yet, here was Gilbert, asking straight out, and she found she wasn’t afraid to tell him the truth. She felt quite certain that he wouldn’t run away. 

“I disappeared into my own imagination. Anne Shirley may have had to feel pain and sorrow, but I could always become someone else, if only for a little while. Princess Cordelia never suffered under the hands of a whip, or felt the stomach pains of starvation, or the sorrow of truly being alone in life. So, as long as I was her, neither did I.”

She looked at him, waited for...for what she wasn’t quite sure. Some sort of reaction, surely. Everybody seemed to have some sort of reaction to her. 

He stayed silent, and she tried to read the look on his face, but it was one she had only seen a few times, and she had yet to identify it. Regardless, she knew what was buried underneath whatever face he currently wore, what was in the eyes of everyone who stared at Anne the orphan.

“I don’t need your pity, Gilbert.” She told him, her words sharper than she intended.

“You don’t have it.”

“Then what’s that look on your face?”

He shrugged. “Awe. I’m in awe of you, Anne Shirley-Cuthburt.”

He stood up, then offered her his hand. She took it, a curious look on her face. Anne decided that she didn’t quite understand Gilbert Blythe, and she was fairly certain there was nobody else like him. 

They walked, and Anne realized they’d been in an alley, hidden away from the prying eyes of neighborhood gossips. He kept his hand in hers, probably to make sure she didn’t fall again, but even when she knew she wouldn’t, she didn’t let go. 

“Please don’t tell anyone at school about this,” she said softly as they rejoined the crowd. “I don’t need to give everyone another reminder that I’m what I am.”

“I won’t,” He said, and they’d stopped walking, waiting to part ways, but his hand still lingered in here. “Will you tell me? If it happens again? I mean, if it’s bad like this one?”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t think you should have to go through that alone.” 

She didn’t say yes, but she also didn’t say no. Instead, she smiled at him. “Goodbye, Gilbert.”

“Goodbye, Anne.”

She turned to walk away, but paused. She stood frozen for an instant, before turning around. She was surprised to see he hadn’t moved, that his eyes were still on her. “And thank you!” She yelled, turning and running off before she could she the look on his face. Although, the more she thought of it, the more she was certain she didn’t need to — she knew well enough what kind of smile he’d worn when she turned her back.