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linkspooky · 1 year ago

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Hi I really love ur metas your jjk ones really made me appreciate the story even more. I was curious about ur analysis on why Gojo is important to Geto.

It's obvious as to why Geto is important to Gojo and how Geto effected him but I don't think it's talked about enough of the reversal

That's a good observation anon, the story makes it less obvious what Geto needs Gojo for, while spending a long time lingering on the tragedy of Geto's loss and what the loss of his only real friend meant for Gojo.

I think part of this is because Geto is a character of deep self-reflection so a lot of his internal narration is about his feelings towards his self and thinking through his own ideals and what that means. Whereas Gojo doesn't really self reflect but he does observe other people. We don't know what Gojo's opinions on a lot of things are, but we know what Geto meant to him because he's much clearer on how he felt towards Geto. Geto's staring into himself trying to figure what he feels personally, Gojo is always staring at other people trying to figure out what they feel.

As for why Gojo means so much to Geto, it's important to remember that they are a duo. They're the same idiot in different fonts. Geto's a much more human character and we are inside his head more often so it's easy to forget that when they were young Geto had the same kind of god / superiority complex that Gojo did.

Geto is associated with religious imagery over and over again, the same way that Gojo is associated with budhist ideals of enlightenment and escaping karma. They are both people who were in their teenage years more powerful than everyone around them, and because of that looked down on everyone.

Even Geto's stated ideals of "protecting the weak" come from a place of superiority. He still divides people mentally into the weak and the strong. The special ones and the common rabble. He sees people the same way Gojo does, he just believes that the strong like him and Gojo have a moral obligation to use their powers responsibly in service of others.

Geto's not more humble than Gojo. Their moral disagreement comes from how they should use the power they've been given, but they both feel that the power they have puts them in a position above other people.

All of this to illustrate the fact that if Gojo felt isolated as a teenager because all the power he had made him feel lonely and unable to connect with others, then so Geto probably felt isolated in the same way too. They each found in each other someone they could finally call their equal. Because of it they gained someone they could be vulnerable around and someone they could trust to watch their back.

The things Geto does for Gojo (check on his feelings when no one else would, go out of his way to reassure him), Gojo does for Geto in return. It's not Geto always taking care of Goo it's a partnership between the two of them where they lean on each other.

When Kuroi is kindapped and Geto immediately falls into a funk and starts to blame himself for his mistake, it's Gojo who reassures him by hurrying him along and telling him they need to focus on planning what they should do next. Gojo knows Geto well enough to know his tendency to get trapped in his own thoughts and gives him the kick in the pants he needs.

In the same scene where Geto checks on Gojo's well-being to make sure he's not overusing his power, Gojo returns the sentiment by reassuring Geto not to worry about him because he won't push himself too hard and that he's not in this alone Geto's here too.

That's probably a big part of it for Geto. Yes, Geto tends to naturally slide into the caretaker role, watching out for Gojo and checking in on him but at the same time Geto probably likes that there is someone who needs him in that way. If Gojo's defined by his lack of connection with other people, Geto's defined by the way he goes out to make connections. It's nice to be needed as they say. The fact that someone as seemingly self-sufficient as Gojo not only relies on Geto a great deal, but lets Geto take care of him is probably a big part of their bond.

Which is probably why Gojo's awakening post Toji is a big part in why they started to grow apart from each other. If Geto likes to live in service to other people, and defines himself by his connection to others he probably interpreted Gojo no longer needing his support on missions and suddenly doing everything by himself as Gojo pulling away from him.

I think a big part in Geto's downfall was the hit he took when one he was defeated by Toji someone without Jujutsu and too, Gojo suddenly became out of his reach. Gojo himself never said that they were no longer the strongest duo, or that they were no longer the strongest together it's all Geto. As I said Geto has as much of a god complex as Gojo does.

He thought they were on the top together, and not only is he suddenly confronted with his own weakness at the exact same time Gojo's become so strong it appears on the surface that he no longer needs anyone's support, especially not Geto's.

Nanami says it out loud, but Geto probably echoes the sentiment. If Gojo is now strong enough to handle every mission on his own then what need does he have for other sorcerers - and Geto in particular? Geto goes from feeling needed in a lot of ways by Gojo who was just as important a friend to him as he was to Gojo to watch Gojo suddenly handle everything alone. In a lot of ways it probably felt like Geto lost Gojo far before the KFC breakup and his defection from Jujutsu High. From Geto's perspective their relationship was over, their partnership broken and Gojo just did not realize it until after the village massacre.

At first Geto had as big of an ego with Gojo, and connected in a special way with him because the two of them were on top together. However, he came to believe that the only reason their partnerhsip worked was because they were both the strongest. When Gojo became the strongest alone Geto believed incorrectly that what they once had was lost and Gojo no longer needed him when Gojo's emotional reaction to Geto's defection shows that's anything but true.

In Geto's mind it is though because he's kind of got the same messed up way of dividing people into strong and weak that Gojo does, he probably just realized that he was one of the weak ones and feared Gojo thinking the same way.

During Geto and Gojo's final confrontation he almost has an inferiority complex about it when he talks about how if he had the limitless he'd easily be able to accomplish what he set out to do.

Until that moment Geto always thought they were equals, but now Geto's suddenly talking like he covets Gojo's power. He suddenly wants to be Gojo, probably because he incorrectly believes that their partnership is base don being equals in power when it's really just a normal friendship.

Which is why the loss of Gojo's friendship affects Geto just as badly as the other way around. Everyone wants to be equals with their friends, especially to a friend as important as Gojo was to Geto.

There's almost a tragic irony in how when speaking of his friendship to Nanako and Mimiko, Geto acts like their friendship ended when Gojo left Jujutsu High. It's their in his death scene too, Geto is surprised by the fact that Gojo has any feelings left for him.

Geto's so insecure over his connection to Gojo he didn't understand that in Gojo's mind they were still friends right up until the very end, and perhaps if he were just a bit more secure they would have been able to reach one another instead of falling apart.

#jjk meta #geto suguru #suguru geto #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #satosugu #metasks

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autistic-robin · 6 months ago

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more dynamics i need to see in st5 for my mental wellbeing

1. el and dustin. that’s it send post. they were genuinely so sweet in season 1 and i miss their mad scientist/test subject vibe immensely. i know el and lucas are going to be paired up this season because of their shared connection (polyamory) to max, but i would love to see more scenes between dustin and el— maybe some lighthearted bonding over their matching leg injuries or daddy issues.

2. mike and robin. i don’t think you understand i need this like i need air. will has already had his gay awakening he doesn’t need a queer life coach!! mike on the other hand is out here in the TRENCHES. this man is down critically horrendously morifyingly BAD for will but is convinced el needs him and that will could never reciprocate his feelings. he needs robin’s gay intuition and advice if anyone does.

3. steve and jonathan. HELLO??? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELLO???? i know this is pretty much guaranteed to happen in st5 because full-circle character development and hammering in themes and blah blah blah but i’m still gonna talk about it because listen. steve got his shit rocked by jonathan one (1) time and immediately decided “fuck my idiot friends” developed a moral conscience and SHOWED UP AT HIS HOUSE to apologize. he wasn’t there for nancy he had no idea nancy was there!!! he bought jonathan a new camera!!! he was so respectful of nancy and jon even when nancy dumped his ass a season later!!! yet we never get closure between him and jonathan or even a conversation and i’m PISSED about it. matt and ross duffer rectify this or else.

4. hopper and jonathan and will. you see the vision. these kids have never had a stable father figure who truly understands them (i love bob but he was only there for st2 and was sweet but naive) and everything they’ve been through. jonathan DESPERATELY needs to be de-parentified and released from the emotional burden of constantly putting will and joyce before his own needs and dreams, and hopper desperately needs to feel like he can protect his family instead of “cursing” them. will needs a loving father figure who supports his queer identity, and hopper only had a fire lit under him in s1 when joyce mentioned it could have been a hate crime. this is like textbook recipe for healing and closure for these characters.

5. joyce and karen? i just think it would be neat. we know karen’s getting more involved this season and i think she should get to be a little gay for joyce as a treat. we had crumbs of their dynamic in s1 and on a more sincere note i honestly think joyce could help give karen the courage to leave ted or demand better from him moving forward.

6. nancy and mike. if they don’t have a genuine conversation i’ll actually be fuming raging pulling my hair out. i get it i get that they’re both emotionally repressed but GOD i wish we had more moments with them talking about their trauma or empathizing with each other’s survivor’s guilt and crippling savior complexes. all the “max and mike are the same character in a different font” business is very valid and i agree madwheeler is like ten shots of espresso injected directly into the bloodstream HOWEVER, nancy and mike’s traumas and emotional issues are so so similar please let them talk about it!!!!

7. steve and robin???? please for the love of god????? literally what the fuck was happening in s4 they were NOT given enough screentime together. not cool. i want them BACK on their queerplatonic bullshit in s5, fully codependent disgustingly clingy like god intended.

8. jonathan and el. i just want them to be siblings together!!! we got a lot of willel sibling vibes in s4 and some sweet jon-and-will moments, but i would love for them to delve into jonathan and el’s dynamic. this girl is a big reason why will was saved in s1 and we just… never really see the byerses address that? jonathan has a lottt of self-blaming tendencies when it comes to will and i’d love for el to help remind him he isn’t responsible for protecting and saving his brother all the time. conversely, i’d love for jonathan to remind el that she’s just a kid and that the weight of the world shouldn’t be on her shoulders. they’re both really soft-spoken and sweet characters with hard veneers and i feel like they’d pair well together for more emotional scenes.

9. literally the entire byers-hopper family they are the heart and soul of the show and i will never forgive the duffer brothers for losing that in s3-4 in favor of expanding the scope of the story. i miss them.

10. steve and el. i would maim and kill for this dynamic actually. both of them are involved in love triangles and have arcs centered around independency and platonic/found familial love, and steve has his whole mom-of-the-group shtick that could be really endearing paired with el’s plucky weird-little-girl vibe. idk i just think they would be a cute team, maybe paired with dustin or lucas.

11. stoncy and robin. literally give me this team or give me death. i miss stoncy’s iconic end-of-season-1 monster-hunting trio dynamic SO MUCH i would give anything for them to go on a sidequest and really just hash it all out with each other. and robin could offer steve moral support and comic relief— while we’re on the subject i would also kill to see her and jonathan interact!! like they are so similar in that brooding-noncomformist way and i feel like they would either immediately gravitate toward each other based on values OR immediately clash due to their personality differences. jonathan is all quiet and avoidant and robin can be… A Lot (said with love) when she’s not masking like s3. i just think they’d be funny together.

12. this is devolving quickly so scott clarke and the party. no i will not elaborate. thank you for your time

#stranger things #st5 #mike wheeler #will byers #el hopper #st the party #willel #jonathan byers #steve harrington #stonathan #stoncy #byler #< target audience

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miraculouslbcnreactions · 1 year ago

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There was no Redemption or Damnation. Chloe Doesn't Actually Have an Arc at All

Does Chloe have an abandoned redemption arc?

No. Absolutely not. She also doesn't have a “damnation” arc or really any arc at all. She is a font of wasted potential for both redemption and damnation who never gets a true chance at either path. To explain what I mean, I have to first discuss the two types of redemption arcs and also how damnation arcs work. I’ll be doing this by discussing the guy who started the redemption arc trend, Zuko, and why his story doesn’t work for people like Chloe.

The Two Types of Redemption + Some Bonus Damnation

There are two general paths to redemption: redemption through a change in worldview (the easy path) and redemption through a change in self (the hard path).

Redemption through a change in worldview is what happens when you take a character who is a fundamentally good person and give them a messed up worldview, usually through their upbringing. The story will see that worldview challenged, resulting in the character changing how they view the world, but that’s about it. They don’t really have to make major changes to themselves at a fundamental level.

This is Zuko’s path. He’s born in the Fire Nation and raised to think that the Fire Nation is good. He also has a strong sense of honor and wants to do right by his people. When he’s included in a war council and told that the army leaders are going to willingly sacrifice Fire Nation troops, he stands up and says that’s wrong. This act results in him getting banished. During his banishment, he gets to see the rest of the world and learn that the Fire Nation is, in fact, NOT good. This ultimately leads to him switching sides because he has a strong sense of honor and wants to do right by his people. Who he is and how he acts never really changes.

Chloe is not like Zuko. She is a selfish, egotistical, petty, spoiled brat. For her to be redeemed, she has to accept that fundamental aspects of her character are deeply flawed. This might involve some changes to her worldview, but that’s only a tiny piece of what needs to change and I’m honestly not sure that she really has a messed up worldview. There are multiple instances where it’s clear that she knows that she’s being mean or bad and just doesn’t care.

This brings us to the topic of damnation arcs. For something to be a damnation arc, a person has to be presented with a choice between good and evil and they have to choose evil. Zuko actually has one of these. At the end of the second season of Avatar, Zuko is given the choice to join the good guys or to join his sister and be accepted back into his family.

He chooses his sister.

That’s a damnation arc because Zuko truly had a chance to change sides. The scene would play very differently if Zuko had to choose between staying in exile and joining his sister. Joining his sister would still be the wrong move, but it’s no longer damnation. It’s just doing a bad thing vs doing nothing (though it can be argued to be somewhat damning since Zuko is going against his own morals). Along similar lines, Zuko is redeemed when he chooses to abandon his family to do what’s right even though it costs him everything he wanted: his family, his girlfriend, and his home.

This is where Chloe’s “damnation” and redemption arcs fall apart. There is no point in the series where she’s actively given a choice between good and evil. She only ever makes choices between inaction and evil or inaction and good. Does that make her a good person? Hell no! But it does make the argument that she had an arc fall very flat. She never gets better, but it's hard to say that she gets worse.

Chloe’s Choices: The Good and The Bad

Chloe becomes Queen Bee without anyone saying she was fit for the role. She just finds a miraculous and uses it. The way she uses it is selfish, egotistical, and petty. In other words, it’s just Chloe being Chloe. While the actions she takes are horrible and definitely deserve punishment, they’re in character. She’s not acting worse than normal, she’s just being herself, but with superpowers. If she’d been given the miraculous and been charged to be a hero, then her actions would be damning because she would be choosing to go against her charge. But she’s not. She has no charge.

To really assess if Chloe has potential to change, you have to look at what she does when she’s given the choice to be good and this is where things get messy.

This is how Chloe’s first encounter with her miraculous ends:

Ladybug: I have to get the Miraculous back, Chloé. (in the background, Nadja's van arrives) Chloé: Give me a second chance, please! Nadja: (holding a tablet with Audrey on it) Audrey Bourgeois, tell us live how you feel about what just happened. Audrey: (on the tablet) According to me, Chloé just clearly demonstrated that there is nothing exceptional about her. Cat Noir: (puts a hand on Chloé's shoulder) I know that you did the things you did to impress your mother. Ladybug: Anyone can make mistakes, even a superhero. What matters is how you fix them. I personally made one by losing that Miraculous. Don't make the mistake of not giving it back. Act like a hero. Cat Noir: And show everyone how exceptional you can be. (Chloé hands Ladybug the Miraculous) Ladybug: Thank you. Chloé: (the duo are about to run off) Ladybug? Cat Noir? (the cameraman moves closer) I'm sorry.

Chloe doesn't fight to keep her miraculous. A few quick lines are all it takes for her to hand it over. When Ladybug gives Chloe the chance to act like a hero would, Chloe acts like a hero. The same can be said of every subsequent time when Ladybug gives Chloe the bee miraculous. Every time Chloe is called upon to be Queen Bee, she does the job to the best of her abilities and acts as a functional member of the team. She's not incompetent. She doesn't put the team in danger so that she can be in the spotlight. Heck, the very next time she gets it, Chloe willingly admits that her father’s akumatization was her fault.

Chloé: It— it was me. I hurt my daddy's feelings. Because I want to leave Paris, forever. Ladybug: Because of what happened in school? I'm sure Marinette probably didn't exactly mean what she said. Chloé: Oh, it's not just her— actually, I don't even care about her— it's because I have no reason to be here: nobody likes me; I have no friends. I'm… useless. Ladybug: (remembering what Adrien told Marinette earlier at school about Chloé) A friend once told me: nobody is useless, Chloé. Chloé: It's easy for you to say that. You're Ladybug, a superhero. You serve a purpose. Ladybug: Yes, I can fix up all the messes. You said it yourself in your documentary. Chloé: (gasps) You saw it?! Ladybug: (nods) Mm-hmm. Chloé: Oh! I'm so embarrassed. That film's ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. I realize that now. Ladybug: Don't worry Chloé. You can fix your own messes, if that's what you want. You, too, can serve a purpose, but you have to want to. Chloé: (sniffles) I do want to.

When Ladybug asks Chloe to be a better person, Chloe is a better person.

This is why I say that Chloe has a perfectly functional view of the world. She knows when she’s doing something wrong and is able to do good when challenged to do so. Even on the civilian side, we see that Chloe is willing to be a little better when given the proper motivation. In Despair Bear, Adrien says he’ll end their friendship and so Chloe actively tries to save that friendship even if she hates every minute of it. Similarly, in Zombiezoo, Chloe sacrifices herself so that Ladybug can win.

Now, none of this is a redemption. It is, at best, the foundation for a redemption. We see that Chloe has the potential to be good when challenged to do so by the right person or circumstance, but she’s not trying to be better outside of those moments when she’s challenged. For her redemption to really start, she has to choose good over evil. She has to start improving when Ladybug isn’t watching or when Adrien isn’t threatening their friendship. For it to be a damnation, she has to choose evil over good.

She is never truly given that choice.

The two big scenes where Chloe gets “worse” are at the end of Queen Wasp and at the end of Hearthunter. However, in both of those scenes, no one gives her a choice to be better even though she’s primed and ready to make that choice.

Queen Wasp: When the Civilian Moment Should Have Happened

At the tail end of Queen Wasp, Marinette has the choice to go to New York with Audrey or stay in Paris. She chooses Paris, but brings Chloe with her to try and repair the relationship between mother and daughter. Here, Marinette gets to really see just how little Audrey cares for Chloe.

In a show where Chloe has a character arc, this should be the moment when she’s given a choice. She’s just spent the whole episode trying to get her mom to love her and it’s gone nowhere. Marinette, our hero, is standing right there, fully capable of saying, “You know what Chloe, your mom sucks and you don't need her validation. I know some people who already think that you're awesome. Come on, let’s get you back home and I’ll call Adrien and Sabrina to meet us there.”

Instead, this is what happens:

Marinette: I think you're wrong. A huge part of your life is here in Paris, too! (she steps aside, showing Chloé and Butler Jean) Audrey: Chlorene? Uh— Chloé? Chloé: (looks at her mother, then at Marinette in a guilty manner, then back at her mom) Why don't you love me, Mom? Audrey: But… Uh— Of course I l-l-love you. Marinette: (groans) You're also wrong about your daughter not being exceptional. In fact, Chloé is exceptionally mean. She's the worst person I've ever met. She may be more heinous, pompous and selfish than you. Compared to both of you, even a rock seems more capable of love. (Audrey and Chloé are furious with Marinette for telling mean things to them.) Chloé and Audrey: (shouting) How dare you⁈ (gasp and look surprised at each other) Marinette: See? You're both much more alike than you think. (walks off; humming)

…our hero, Ladies and Gentlemen.

I’m not saying that Chloe’s poor behavior is Marinette’s fault. Chloe’s choices are her own, but it’s hard to say, “why didn’t she change?” when even Ladybug doesn’t seem to want her to. If no one is actively encouraging Chloe whenever she does better, then it's 1000x harder for her to get better. Fake it til you make it is a huge part of self improvement. Being a better person for validation or selfish reasons often leads to meaningful change and is a legitimate way to start a self-driven redemption arc. (Go watch The Good Place if you want a prime example of this.)

Hearthunter: When the Hero Moment Should Have Happened

Hearthunter and Miracle Queen are supposedly the end of Chloe’s “damnation” arc. The moment where she makes the wrong choice and, to be clear, Chloe does the wrong thing here. Helping Hawkmoth is a bad move and she deserved to face some consequences. However, the choice to help Hawkmoth has the weirdest setup for a “damnation” arc that I’ve ever seen.

In Miraculer, we get this line from Gabriel: all I need is for [Chloe] to lose all hope in Ladybug. To become angry enough so I can akumatize her.

This is also the episode where Chloe rejects an akuma (Chloé: No, Hawk Moth! I am a superheroine! I am Queen Bee! Ladybug will come and get me when she needs me! I WILL NEVER JOIN YOU!), the episode where Lila helps manipulate Chloe into doubting Ladybug, and the episode where Ladybug tell’s Chloe that she’ll never be Queen Bee again, setting up the tension for the season final.

However, even though that tension is set, the thing that turns Chloe to the dark side is… her parents being akumatized. Not some random akuma that Chloe wants to help with. Not Hawkmoth just randomly showing up with the bee. No, we have both of Chloe's parents as the victim of the day and Ladybug actively chooses Ryuuko over Queen Bee, making Chloe the first and only hero who doesn’t get called in when a loved one is in trouble.

All of that leads to this:

Hawk Moth: Chloé Bourgeois, rejections hurt! (Chloé turns to face him) Your talents deserve to be recognized! Ladybug and Cat Noir's reign has gone on long enough. It's time for Paris to have a new queen, and the Queen Bee on my chessboard is you. Chloé: You've akumatized my parents! If I had my Miraculous I'd- Hawk Moth: (puts up his hand and interrupts) You're right, but I did it for one reason only. So that you would finally realize that Ladybug will never give you the Bee Miraculous again. I, however, always keep my promises. (shows her the Bee Miraculous in his hand) Chloé: This isn't real! How do you have it? Hawk Moth: Try it and see for yourself. You're Ladybug's greatest fan. You've helped her, you've trusted her, and what has she done for you in return? Chloé: (gets angry) Nothing! She couldn't care less about me! I'm done with her. She's irrelevant, utterly irrelevant! (reaches out to grap the Miraculous, stops) I want you to deakumatize has my parents first!

Just like with Queen Wasp, Chloe does the wrong thing. She didn’t have to take the bee. She didn't have to stay selfish, egotistical, and petty. But at the same time, this isn’t really a damning act. It's an act that makes her unsuitable to be Queen Bee again, but she wasn't going to be Queen Bee anyway. She wasn't choosing to be a villain over a hero. She was just choosing to be selfish at a time when she's been actively manipulated and when her parents are in danger.

In other words, this is just Chloe being Chloe. She’s acting the same way she did when she first got her miraculous. If no one is going to believe in her, then why should she be a better person? Why shouldn't she just stay the same? She's arguably no worse than she was in Queen Wasp, the consequences are just greater because of Hawkmoth's plan and the powers he gives her. The only real change is that she no longer idolizes Ladybug so Ladybug no longer has a chance to encourage Chloe to be a better person, but Ladybug never did that anyway, so what does it really matter?

Once again, none of this is to blame Marinette. She doesn't have to try and make her bully a better person. That's a huge ask. But with no one actively trying to make Chloe better even when she shows that she can be better when given the right motivation, it's silly to say that Chloe had a damnation arc or really any arc at all. She ended where she started and, if that's all they wanted to do with her, then they should have just left her as a one-dimensional mean girl instead of making her one of the most developed characters in this bloated mess of a show.

Personally, I would have liked to see a redemption arc because I enjoy morally grey characters and it would have been nice to have someone on the team who wasn't a kind, sweet, goody-goody (for a team with 18 freaking members, there's really no moral diversity, which is boring). It also would have stopped Chloe and Lila filling the same basic role for 3 seasons, which was stupid. (Why do you think Lila showed up so little? It's because Chloe could do almost everything she could do and do it better.) Second choice would be don't develop Chloe, leave her as a petty mean girl and give her focused screen time to Nino and Adrien. Their relationship is barely a thing and that's disappointing considering its strong setup. Cutting Lila and giving Chloe a true damnation arc would have also been far more satisfying.

#chloe burgeois #chloé bourgeois #miraculous salt #ml writing salt #ml writing critical #queen bee #If you read this then thanks! I mostly just wanted to stop thinking about this and writing it down got it out of my brain #I don't love Chloe but the current lineup is just so bleh and I miss having her to shake things up #ml salt #chloe deserves better #or worse #worse works too

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my-mt-heart · 1 year ago

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Where's Daryl?

This was very difficult to write. It opened up a lot of old wounds for me, so if you read this, thank you. If my thoughts on this show haven’t been your cup of tea, that’ll most definitely be the case here as well, so maybe just move along. ***Trigger warning for discussion of childhood abuse***

For about a year and a half, Caryl fans asked Where's Carol? as a pointed reminder that the spinoff was always meant to be hers just as much as it was Daryl’s. Even though she's back now, her fans didn't always know she would be (nor did the EP's 🙄) so her absence during filming and promotion of the first season was a heavy burden to bear. The irony is, though “Daryl Dixon” sticks out like a sore thumb in that ridiculous font, he's the one who feels absent sometimes, as if important parts of his character development were lost when he washed ashore while other parts come and go as the plot demands.

Zabel talks about swapping Daryl's iconic vest for "old man" suspenders as a matter of pragmaticism i.e. they were the only clean clothes available. Norman says it was a choice he wanted for some unclear reason, but neither of them seem to consider the intelligence of their audience, particularly Carylers, to see it more symbolically. The costume change is our visual reminder that Daryl isn't himself. In some scenes he's chattier than he should be, far more trusting of strangers with personal details, and far more theatrical. Then in others, the differences are even more alarming. He calls a child cruel names, puts his hands on him, and feels conflicted about returning home to his family, to the woman he said he loved.

I mentally prepared myself for retcons, but the one I'm struggling with a lot right now, which I haven't seen anyone bring up yet, is the retcon of Daryl’s childhood abuse. Daryl tells Isabelle that he and Merle had to take apart engines and if they couldn't put them back together, their dad wouldn't let them have dinner. It's a milder version of the stories the scars on his back tell us, though I can buy Daryl omitting the worst of it like he did in the pilot. What I can't buy is Daryl saying his dad was "hardly ever" around and emphasizing it as the main source of his pain growing up. It feels contradictory for one thing. When we see Daryl's scars for the first time in S3 of the flagship show, it's implied Daryl was trapped in an environment that enabled his dad to physically hurt him often. Presumably that's why Merle felt guilty about leaving him behind. The revelation also seems like it's only intended to highlight the consequences of an absent father figure, explaining Daryl's fear of not making it home, but also justifying his "close" bond with Laurent. The best stories allow a character's emotions to drive the plot, but this just does the opposite, twisting Daryl's backstory to fit the current narrative.

Daryl's backstory made so many people root for him in the first place. It allowed Carol to see him when nobody else in the group could. It helped me process my own childhood trauma. The ways I got to watch him overcome his violent past gave me hope that masculinity could mean more than what I grew up around—more than anger, shouting, and swinging fists. Daryl taught me that men could still be tender, kind, and loving even if those closest to them in their childhood never showed them how. I imagine Daryl's representation has been important to boys and men too, specifically to those who were afraid to speak up about their abuse because of the stigma around it. The implications of this scene may not be easily noticeable to some, but they are to me, and I'm deeply offended by it.

I’ve talked at length on this blog about how it takes a village to make or break a show, though it’s usually the showrunner who has to answer for it. I've already mentioned that I do blame Zabel. His knowledge of French history has no value when he obviously didn’t bother to study Daryl’s history aside from reading old scripts and (maybe) watching the first couple seasons. That's incredibly irresponsible and terrifying for S2. I also blame AMC for their short-sightedness and their determination to save face no matter how much it costs them. I blame Gimple for his pettiness. I blame Greg Nicotero for his insensitivity to Melissa and her fans.

As for Norman, he's hinted very loudly that he wants credit for the show being "different," so in theory he should be prepared to take some of the blame too. I can't name all of the decisions he specifically made, but no matter what they were, I can blame him for not speaking up about the shipbaiting, Daryl's wavering loyalty, and the childhood abuse retcon, all things that hurt his character and hurt the fans. I genuinely don't know what else to think other than Norman didn't give either the consideration they deserve. The show has been treated like nothing more than a vanity project, and it’s unfortunate when you think about what he and AMC had to gain from the original Caryl spinoff.

I love the version of Daryl I knew before this whole mess, I love Carol, and I love the relationship between them. I want them to have the story they deserve in S2. At the moment, I don’t know how to reconcile that with the agony I feel over the damages to half of my two favorite characters. If Carol is going to cross the Atlantic ocean to find Daryl, I want him to be the man who threatened to punch holes in all the boats so she couldn’t leave and the man who told her he loved her before—ironically—leaving himself. I need to hear Daryl admit he hasn't been completely honest with the French characters, not because he was afraid of getting too close to them, but because he didn't want to face the pain of potentially living without Carol and TF. I need to hear him say that he can't be Laurent's father, which is okay because the kid has plenty of other family to take care of him. I need to hear him say, out loud, that he could never love another woman romantically because he's already in love with Carol. That's what I need to feel better about this story. That's where my investment is. I feel like Carol is safe in Melissa's hands, but I don't feel like I have anyone to rely on for Daryl. That’s a big problem because their stories are so intertwined. There’s no Daryl without Carol nor Carol without Daryl. If you ruin one of them, you risk ruining both of them, and that’s a possibility I really can’t bear.

#caryl #carol peletier #melissa mcbride #darylneedscarol #the book of carol #twd caryl

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maddys-nerd-blog · 9 months ago

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Maddy’s Top Five Favorite TMNT Episodes from Every Series!

Welcome to my ranking list! My first of many, hopefully! I even spiced things up and made it all fancy with the different font! 😂 god I’m getting old.

A while ago I made a PowerPoint presentation for fun about the history of the TMNT and the franchise. From that point it led to me gaining a spot in a YouTube video series discussing the movies leading up to the premier of Mutant Mayhem, and it’s been one of the best things to happen to me despite the terrible stuff I’ve gone through.

TMNT really saved me at the lowest point of my life in the winter of 2022. It inspired me to go back to Tumblr. I met and befriended incredibly talented people in this fandom. And I’ve found a reason to be happy again because of it. The pain of losing my big sister still aches, and I miss her more each passing day, but I know she’d tell me to get off my ass and do what made me happy.

So for my birthday this weekend, I’ll share this with you guys to celebrate something that brought me joy through all this pain. ❤️‍🩹

Let’s talk turtles! 💙💜❤️🧡

Lemme explain the criteria for this real fast;

The episode had to have come from a current/ up to date show. It has to be fully completed!

The episodes have to catch my interest and the plot needs to be gripping! The angstier the better!

Any of the series episodes are candidates for a win! Except for certain ones that I’d rather not watch 🤣

SPOILERS BEWARE! Cuz… well, I dunno who’s finished the shows and I don’t wanna ruin the surprise for others!

Also, this never would have been possible without @jadethest0ne for inspiring me! Thank you for all you do in the TMNT fandom, your art/ analyses are wonderful!!! Please go give them support!!

Onto the list proper! Starting with the series that started it all: 1987!

The Maltese Hamster ( Season 3 Ep. 4 ) An excellent Donatello solo episode that takes the tone of a detective noir movie, but keeping the fun vibe of the show! Donnie gets to take center stage for once, April gets to use a laser gun, and the shift in tone sets the mood really well! It’s downright harrowing to watch a building collapse on Donnie and see him limping away from the scene in agony, passing out at Irma’s feet, trying to save his brothers despite the odds. Donnie’s my favorite turtle for a reason!

Raphael Meets His Match ( Season 4 Ep. 17 ) The first appearance of Mona Lisa, and I can see why the fans adore this ship so much! The chemistry between Mona and Raph throughout this one episode is really telling of how impactful one character can be to a franchise! Mona is really fun! She’s not just a token ‘girl character’ trope or an archetype, she can handle herself and kick ass alongside the turtles, plus she and Raph have some pretty witty banter together!

Beware The Lotus ( Season 3 Ep. 28 ) The introduction of Lotus Blossom! It’s speculated that the inspiration for Karai came from Lotus! Lotus and Leo had great chemistry together, it's a shame we only got two episodes to spend with her. She really is an interesting character with loads of story potential about finding your place in the world, discovering who you are, changing your destiny to make it what you want. This is me basically saying I am now part of the Lotus Blossom Fan Club.

Cowabunga, Shredhead! ( Season 3 Ep. 18 ) This is one of the fan favorite episodes, and after I watched it for the first time I could not stop laughing. James Avery does his best Mikey impression while playing the over the top Shredder, and everyone just accepts it??? It’s downright genius! The meme material from this one is plentiful!

Michelangelo Meets Mondo Gecko ( Season 5 Ep. 4 ) The introduction of Mondo himself, and he’s got a really cool design! On first viewing I was pleasantly surprised by his unique color scheme and his character! He’s a bad guy that gets a redemption arc by the end of the episode! I was rooting for him the whole time! It was this debut that made me adore Mondo, and he’s since become my favorite mutant character of the franchise!

Honorable Mentions are Donatello’s Duplicate and Turtlemaniac!

Next up is a controversial one, but I gotta be honest… ‘03 isn’t my favorite series for a lot of reasons, but I will admit! When this series had fantastic episodes, they were AMAZING. So I gotta give credit when due and give kudos to these wins!

The Shredder Strikes Back Parts One and Two ( Season 1 Episodes 17-18 ) Nothing really tops how good this show was in the first season, and these episodes take the comic storyline of Leo’s beatdown and bring it to life masterfully. For Leo’s segments of part one it’s spent mostly with no dialogue— the animation and music carrying how serious the scene is as Leo has to fight for his life against the Foot and how desperate he becomes as he grows weaker and weaker. The second episode is non-stop action as the rest of the turtles, Splinter, April and Casey have to fend off the Foot and Shredder as they fight for their lives in the antique shop. This is one of Michael Sinterniklass’s BEST performances as Leo in these episodes. The stakes are higher than ever before, the animation is gorgeous, and everyone gives it their all for this epic mid-season finale.

Same As It Never Was ( Season 3 Ep. 21 ) This is the episode I would tell people to watch if they think TMNT is just kiddie trash.

Bad Blood ( Season 6 Ep. 12 ) Probably the Fast Forward concept I wish got expanded on instead of giving it two standalone stories and dropping it entirely. It’s a cool idea that I wish got touched upon more often because, yeah, what would evil clones of the turtles look like? What kind of abilities could they have? There’s infinite possibilities! I could live without the new catchphrase ‘It's Ninja Time’ though. While Fast Forward is flawed, this episode was the one I thoroughly liked!

Insane in the Membrane ( Season 4 Ep. 19 ) The infamously banned episode, and all I have to say about it is two words. Holy. Shit.

The Real World Part One ( Season 3 Ep. 22 ) Any team-up with Usagi Yojimbo is a good one, and this was such a delight! It’s loosely based on one of the Usagi stories from the comics, and I loved how badass they made both Usagi and Tomoe! Leo and Usagi have great chemistry as always, and you can tell they have a strong bond with one another as warriors! Or boyfriends depending on how you interpret their relationship but honestly I totally see where everyone is coming from, THESE TWO ARE ADORABLE DORKS.

Next up is my all-time favorite incarnation of the franchise, 2012!! I have A LOT to say about so many of the episodes but alas, I could only choose five to discuss. One day… one day I shall make a thesis about it 🤣 for now however, here’s my top five faves from this series!

The Yojimbo Trilogy ( Season 5 Episodes 7-9 ) Oh. My. God. YES. The love letter to Stan Sakai’s comics, the beautiful homage to vintage Japanese cinema with the camera framework and action, and OH MY LORD, THE COLORS AND SHADING DURING USAGI’S FIGHT WITH JAY IN THE FINALE???? THAT’S CINEMA! Excellent voice acting by Yuki Matsuzaki, which was his first English speaking role and personally chosen by Sakai himself to play the ronin rabbit! My only complaint is that I wish we’d gotten more of the Yojimbo characters in here, like Tomoe or Gen! Otherwise I can watch all three of these episodes on repeat and always get excited!

Lone Rat and Cubs ( Season 5 Ep. 10 ) The final appearance of Splinter, the episode Kevin Eastman wrote, and a beautiful send-off to this character. It’s a flashback, yes, but this is the episode we get to see Yoshi adapting to his mutation as a rat, raising his boys, trying to be a good father and struggling to survive from the Krang. It’s a part of his life we rarely ever get to see, and this episode shows us why he was a great father. Basically it's a try not to cry challenge. For me, THIS episode is the series finale because it’s just a perfect conclusion to Splinter and his story.

Requiem/Owari ( Season 4 Episodes 25-26 ) The finale to the overall series, the finale to this overarching story, and it’s just as heartbreaking and suspenseful as you’d expect. The writers don't hold back their punches, and it shows that the gloves have finally come off. The characters we’ve come to love and care for are at their breaking point, the Shredder is the most threatening he’s ever been, and the team decides it’s time to put the monster down for good. Whoever thinks this show was just ‘kiddie trash’ needs to be sat down and shown this two-parter, because GODDAMN. Ciro Nieli treated this with so much care and respect. I cannot help but adore the team who put this together because the stakes have been raised to an all-time high, and the final showdown between Shredder and the turtles here is hair-raising, all reaching its climax when Leonardo finishes Oroku Saki by beheading him. It’s powerful, it’s devastating, and it’s a damn excellent showcase of why this series was the best iteration of the franchise to date.

The Fourfold Trap ( Season 3 Ep. 23 ) Yet another homage to a horror movie, only this time it’s a lot more intense. Based on Saw, this episode makes you sit on the edge of your seat as you can only hope that the turtles will escape the traps Karai’s put them in. It’s all nerve wracking to watch on a first viewing experience, POOR DONNIE OH MY GOD, CAN WE STOP PUTTING THIS BOY IN ELECTROCUTION DEVICES???? He still manages to create a plan to save his brothers even while he’s being electrocuted! Also, SPLINTER IS BEST RAT DAD. This episode will teach you the meaning of ‘angsty dread’ and ‘overwhelming anxiety.’

Trans-Dimensional Turtles ( Season 4 Ep. 10 ) THE TURTLES FOREVER WE DESERVED BUT WE DIDN'T GET UNTIL CIRO NIELI HOOKED US UP WITH THE BEST CROSSOVER WE’VE EVER BEEN BLESSED WITH! The OG turtles are all so much fun to see again both in and out of 2D, Gilbert Godfried is always a delight, the 2012 turtles in traditional 2D animation is awesome, and ALL THE OG VOICE ACTORS ARE HERE AND CLEARLY HAVING THE TIMES OF THEIR LIVES. THE ROB PAULSEN JOKE IS LITERALLY A BLESSING XD I only wish it had been longer!

Honorable Mentions are Slash and Destroy, Pizza-Face, Within the Woods and Mutant Gangland!

And rounding it off is the last— but certainly not least— series, Rise!! I adore this one!! It’s right behind 2012 as my favorite TMNT series just for the stellar animation!! It’s such a shame that this one had to end so unfairly, but today I’m giving it the love it deserves!! Please note that I have yet to complete season two of ROTTMNT cuz my life has been crazy hectic and I haven’t had the time, but once I do, I’ll go back and update this section if I find more episodes I liked!

Raph’s Ride Along ( Season 2 Ep. 8A ) Ummmmmm the 2012 VA’s playing parody versions of their turtles as yokai criminals??? HELL YEAH. If only they got Astin to play a character though! Then we would’ve had a reverse Turtles Forever reunion! I came out of this episode really loving the Mud Dogz as characters and wanting more, especially Dastardly Danny cuz Rob Paulsen is always a win! Too bad this show got canned before we could really get to know these guys. BUT HEY! That’s what the fandom is for! 🤣

Insane in the Mama Train ( Season 1 Episode 25 ) When I watched this series blind, this episode blew my mind. Seeing something so well done had me screaming in joy with how expertly this episode was crafted. The stellar action choreography, the great comedic elements splashed in to lighten the tense mood, the ANIMATION OH MY LORD. Disney, take notes. And that ending leaves a pit in my stomach every time, like OOOOF, those expressions! That sudden tonal swap!

Mystic Library ( Season 1, Ep. 20A ) Probably my favorite comedy episode! The timing for the jokes in this one specifically is so well done, and every single one had me in tears. I’ve been trying to commit Donnie’s library rap to memory but alas, I’ve been failing.

The Clothes Don’t Make The Turtle ( Season 2 Episode 10B ) THIS. MORE OF THIS PRETTY PLEASE. It's just SO MUCH FUN. I really don’t have anything else to say other than this one is a great treat, also, the reanimated fan cut of this is spectacular!!

Snow Day ( Season 1 Ep. 23B ) This, for me, is the Christmas special of the series even though it’s in no way related to the holiday or has anything to do with it BUT I DON’T CARE LET ME DREAM. I love this one for the adorable interactions and the bonding! Seeing the characters goofing off and having fun, enjoying the weather and spending time together outside of the angst? I CRAVE FLUFF LIKE THIS.

And Tada! There it is! I hope you liked this!! It was tons of fun to compile all my favorite episodes into one project and share my thoughts! This fandom has been nothing but fantastic and I’m proud to be in it!

Thank you to all who have inspired me to keep going and pursue my dreams. You guys are great! @queen-with-the-quill @tending-the-hearth @wasted-and-ready @tmnt-tychou @mermmarie @figuringitoutasigoalong @lameboobah @zandiiangelspit @pumpkinpie59 @indieyuugure @angelicdavinci @imagine4000

And thank you to my IRL friends who have pulled me to my feet and supported me. Not only are you guys the best people I know, but I consider you guys family. You really saved me last year. I’m honored to call you my friends 💓

What are your favorite episodes?? Lemme know!! 😁 Maybe I’ll do a movie ranking next!

Cowabunga!! Have a great day!! 💚💚

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 1987 #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2012 #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #maddys ramblings #tmnt analysis

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teacup-tyrant · 2 years ago

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Shadow & Bone Season 2 Wishlist:

More very subtle blink-and-you'll-miss-it Do Not Touch Kaz moments. Avoiding contact. Edging away from people. With no explanation about any of it, he just does it.

So I wasn't a big fan of the Jesper sex scene. It felt very much like a 'hey look this character is not straight!' moment. And there could have been a better way. I want to see more of that but creatively. I want awkward flirting with Wylan. And I want to see Nina flirting with a girl!

I hope Tamar and Tolya's religious devotion is taken seriously. Especially in regards to how they become protective of Alina.

I want to see Vasily being a dickhead.

I want to see Mal being less of a dickhead. And we've already established that Show Mal is very different from Book Mal and I'm forever grateful.

Nikolai being snarky and quippy and super smart and inventive. He was the only character that made the trilogy (almost) bearable to read so I hope the actor sells me on him.

...I would also love to see almost the same characteristics applied to Kaz, just in a darker font. The show has already established him as mostly just dark and broody, which is a shame. I'd like more layers.

I'm excited to see SOME part of Kaz's backstory but I hope we don't get ALL of it. There's an actor cast as Jordie so we're obviously getting some kind of flashback, and we're getting that scene of Kaz falling back into water which might either be used as a ~metaphor~ or as some kind of narrative arc conclusion. (I like it better as a metaphor or dream and not something that's actually happening tbh. Why's he facing the camera directly on? If someone's pushing him or he's falling, why would he be T-posing backwards???) Anyway, I hope there's more of his backstory left for future seasons.

Last note on Kaz, we all want him more brutal and murdery. Of course.

LASTLY, I want to see some goddamn canals in Ketterdam. Please, I am begging. Ketterdam is one of the best characters in Six of Crows and I feel like we haven't actually met her yet. Maybe it's another issue of saving more for later seasons.

That's it for now. Feel free to add on to this list in tags or whatever. Most of these are SoC related instead of S&B, simply because I am biased.

#six of crows #shadow and bone #shadow and bone season 2 #S&B #kaz brekker #of COURSE half of these are about Kaz

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robbinggoodfellows · 1 year ago

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A very angry rant / personal essay about Wes Anderson parodies and the reduction of his style to just simple visual aesthetic

Recently, I became very invested in a show on Apple Tv called The Afterparty. That investment in it only grew when I learned that season 2 would be promising a “Wes Anderson style episode.” Naturally, as someone who takes a lot of inspiration from Anderson’s films I was excited to see what this episode would be like. I am no longer invested in The Afterparty and it is entirely because of this episode.

We’ve seen this before, the reduction of Wes Anderson’s entire style to just quirky characters and pastel colors. Anyone who participated in the Tiktok trend of recreating this style knows this. Of course, this is done with utter disregard for everything else that makes up his style.

This brings me to my detailed review of The Afterparty, season 2 episode 4. I believe my exact words were “I'm so disappointed.” I was legitimately infuriated with this episode, to the point where I can no longer watch The Afterparty.

First of all, just straight up copying exact things from Wes Anderson movies isn’t cool. This episode literally did the exact same montage from the beginning of Rushmore. I was pissed. Furthermore, this episode copies the easy parts of Wes Anderson without acknowledging the work the actually goes into his films. Just color grading your shots and putting text on the screen in a quirky font isn’t enough. There’s a certain cadence that Wes’ screenplays have, a certain way of speaking that this episode simply did not have. Actually I think the only character who had the line delivery down was Ulysses in his scene with Hannah. His short amount of screen time was the highlight of this episode for me.

Another thing that pissed me off is that Wes would never write lesbians like that (he would write them so much better.) Every analysis of Wes Andersons style as a whole has pointed out one thing in common between his films, they are all about relationships. Wether those relationships are platonic or romantic, maybe even familial relationships, they focus in how people interact with people. And that’s another place where I feel this episode fell short. Hannah and Grace’s relationship felt like it was on the back burner, like it wasn’t important. Of course maybe it wasn’t meant to be important, maybe the main relationship of the episode was supposed to be Hannah and Edgar. But then maybe they could have given the two more than five minutes of screen time together. It felt like they missed the mark on any of the relationships in the episode, even having Hannah be extremely manipulative towards Grace for no reason.

The part that makes the the angriest is, why didn’t they consult with Wes Anderson about his style? For non-fans of The Afterparty, you may not know that every episode is told in a different genre. This episode is actually the first one to describe its genre with the name of a specific director. That’s a big undertaking, even with a director whose style isn’t as bold as Anderson’s. The least the show could have done would be to ask Wes how he does it. Or just not make the episode.

I am very interested to know if Wes even knows about the episode or if he had any opinions on it. Especially now, with the release of Asteroid City which is now reaffirming for newer fans that Wes Anderson is not just a visual aesthetic or a quirky character. Rather, his films have deep stylistic choices that cannot be replacated . Wes is doing things that no other director is doing, and while I understand why that may make people more interested in copying his style, it is not the right thing to do. I truly don’t believe anyone except for Wes Anderson knows what Wes Anderson is doing. And that is okay. I just wish modern media would leave it alone.

#wes anderson #the afterparty #asteroid city

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solipsistful · 6 months ago

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director’s cut on automatisms? 👀👀

this took a while to figure out what to even say, but i think i'll go chapter by chapter and say something interesting about each of them

but i'll first say that the very first unfinished draft of Automatisms was actually a NaNo project by Serpent, which i (ace) then took over and rewrote into its current form. so i'll be making this post and seeing if he wants to chime in (not that anyone except me has been particularly talkative lately rip)

XX01: Re-entry

i love that the fic starts (after the pretentious epigraph, im sorry) with a canon line. not only does it temporally set Automatisms as essentially an alternate Acceptance, but i think highlights how it really does follow from Control's canon experiences. like, i could absolutely see an argument that Control canonically just has a dissociative disorder (Authority begins with a dissociative episode, his guides…).

funnily, it wasn't actually any of our idea to go "what if him plural". that was a friend lol.

XX02: Breaching

Finally, a conclusion. Denouement. Control let out the breath he hadn’t intended to hold.

my desire to copy canon's style means hooray narrative (and ghost) metaphors.

XX03: Returning

this chapter has the big freaking problem of being extremely important in canon but not at all changed by Control getting some Lowry commentary. i know one answer would be to just… not follow canon so closely, but shh.

what this means is that it's basically best to read this fic with a very good memory for what happens in Acceptance, which probably isn't great. (i fall into the exact same problem with Doubled)

XX04: Waking

ive mentioned this before, but isn't it fun that Lowry's first time fronting alone occurs off-screen and is never really discussed explicitly? something with Narrative there. (it's also fun how canonically that's just Control having a freeze reaction to the biologist anyway, "playing dead to keep his head")

XX05: The lighthouse

god we had the HARDEST TIME deciding what person and tense Lowry's sections should be in. there's several version of this chapter trying to figure out first vs second vs maybe just third? and present vs past. first person present eventually won out as Special enough, even if i struggle to write it (even more than second person). it also leaves second person for the voice of Area X-as-narrator later, which is probably better.

and then Absolution is just gonna be plain old third person past, boo.

XX06: Somewhere else

just some Control reckoning with wtf is Lowry even doing in his head. i mean, it's an important question, like the most important thing in the world for Control right now, but it's sorta hard coming up with scenes where he can both think/talk about that without just going in circles about how unanswerable it is.

XX07: The tower

i hope this chapter feels as Significant as i intend it to be. this is, after all, the real moment of divergence from canon: Control never goes down the tower!

there are, like chapter 5, versions of this chapter where the "beckoning" is in the first person vs second person, italicized or different fonts or right-aligned or not set apart from the rest of the text at all, etccc. i Care about this formatting stuff okay. (had to go digging into how AO3 work skins work at all in order to get the chapter numbers right, for instance, lol)

XX08: The border

it really strikes me, given what we've seen of Absolution, that Lowry should be way more over-the-top in his reactions here lol. he's not a quiet shut down type like Control; he's over the top and angry and should have, i dunno, punched a tree or something. oh well. maybe he's just relying on not being in the body to give him some distance from basically the worst thing imaginable that could happen to him in this moment.

XX09: The teeth

ok i told myself i wouldn't say this about all the chapters, but i think this chapter in particular should've been longer lol. i mean, it's a Good Chapter, but that's why it should've been longer! there's a lot of implications of things that probably should've been explored more. i'm thinking in particular of Lowry wanting to go retrieve the videos. this is the guy who retrieved the videos from the first expedition, as awful as that must have been. he's abandoning all that and the first expedition overall by leaving the SR building.

ah well.

XX10: The throat

i think im so clever for the "are you real" repeat

XX11: Humanity

after all that kerfuffle over whether Lowry would be in the first/second/third person, we actually hadn't considered what that would look like when Lowry and Control were blurring, whoops. so, good thing that we decided on the first person, because that makes blurring into "we" instead of like. "yall" lmao.

XX12: Exorcism

how do you write hypnosis (especially from the point of view of the hypnotized)

i mean the real point of this chapter is just "look at my theory/interpretation that Lowry's hypnosis is linked to Area X's narrative control and isn't that fun"

XX13: Memory

i don't know what to say about this one. character discussions!

XX14: Disposition

this is simultaneously a filler chapter and also i should've spent longer dealing with things like Lowry having food issues (which is something i had sorta drawn from Acceptance but here is influenced by all the Absolution tidbits in which he's obsessing over eating animals in Area X lol).

but mostly it's a filler chapter because by this point, i knew that the second half of the fic would use all the same chapter titles in reverse, and i have Disposition2 already written so Disposition1 has to exist.

Bonus Sneak Preview: XX15: Escape

obviously a lot of my fic-writing efforts have been spent towards WOE.BEGONE lately, but i think another reason why Automatisms has been going slowly is that this next chapter includes a large change in time and context. so, i'm sorta wanting to think through whether there's anything in the old context that I still want to do before i decide on A Change. but really i should probably just go ahead and do the Change. as hinted above, i have a lot of post-Change stuff written. :>

- ace and no Serpent as it turns out whoops

#automatisms

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jmflowers · 7 months ago

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Would you want to do a recap of Stefania's amazing episode? I'd love to hear your perspective from a technical standpoint!

We’re doing it my sweet, enabling anon! Apologies for how long it has taken for me to truly organize myself and my thoughts with this.

There's gonna be two versions of this, because my jot noted, unhinged version is much more on brand for tumblr fandom space. But I only really realized that after writing out 3500 words of thoughtful film-school style analysis.

Below the cut, please find that version. And I'll post the fangirl edition that breaks down my thoughts scene-by-scene later.

The goal of Station 19’s 7x04 ‘Trouble Man’ was, put simply, to just fucking break everyone. Each one of the characters on screen needed to, or at least appear to, reach rock bottom by the time the credits rolled. Which is, honestly, why I love that they chose Stefania Spampinato as the director for this one. If you’ve seen any of Stefania’s directing work (you can view Zita Sempri here), you know that her strength (and interest) lies in emotional storytelling. I think, because Peter Paige and Stefania have clearly had a mentorship/friendship relationship, that he recognized this episode would be the type of story she would and could excel with.

(This differs greatly from what they chose for Danielle Savre last season, whom we know describes herself as organized and a Type A sort of person. They played to her strengths, as well, and gave her a challenge with an episode that would require a lot of technical organization and strong leadership for such a large on-location scene with so much additional equipment.)

As fans, we all lucked out with Stefania’s episode because it didn’t harbour the additional technical challenges that Danielle’s did and so the showrunners didn’t decide to lighten Stefania’s load by writing her out of most of the episode. (I’d wager, too, that all of her scenes being strictly with Danielle and their rapport with each other also supported that case.) I’m honestly so proud and happy for her (and Danielle) that she was able to have the best of both and experience the feeling of directing herself on screen, alongside an acting partner that she trusts and has worked with for so long.

So, the story is set up as a version of the 7-Point Plot structure (or maybe a Save the Cat, if you’re fancy) and we begin with Andy at what we will later discover is her rock bottom moment. Because we already know the formula of first images in the show is a lot of quick cuts, Stefania made a really excellent choice here in how she shot this specific moment to keep on brand. What she could’ve done is a bunch of different angles of Andy and hoped that when they got to the editing room, there was enough there to avoid the dreaded jumpcut – or enough to lean into a purposeful jumpcut.

[A jumpcut is when a final edit showcases two shots back-to-back that are not precisely the same but are similar enough to cause a jarring effect for viewers. For example, a shot of a person’s face head-on, followed immediately by another shot of that person’s face at the same level with both of their eyes still visible. To make that not jarring, you would want the next shot to be from a lot lower or higher, or directly from the side or behind. Jumpcuts can be used effectively to show the passage of time, for example, such as in Vic’s hospital room scenes or in the bunk room after Andy’s assault, but they need to be proven purposeful by happening at least three times or more in a row.]

Instead, this moment was shot several times with a dolly around Andy. As the momentum of the start of the episode builds, so does the speed with which the shots cut between each other. This was such a cool, smart way to create tension right off the bat and I think it worked really effectively as a hook for the episode.

Truthfully, I think this choice was the biggest faux pas of the episode. Hear me out; this doesn’t match the Station 19 font. It doesn’t lend to the theme that’s already been set on the show regarding text on screen. There are no other episodes in this season (thus far) that have text on screen as part of the storytelling… it was just all off for me.

In my ideal world, this would’ve been exactly the same text style as the show’s logo (perhaps even underlined in the red) and they would’ve pulled something a la Alias, where the scene appears through the text. (Or just stuck it over a shot without the black, like they did with the rest of the time updates???)

This will just forever feel like it was tossed in during editing as a placeholder and then accidentally left there. Maybe they didn’t have enough money for someone to come in and do text editing? I don’t know. I need to stop thinking about it eventually or I’ll drive myself crazy.

But moving on! There were a lot of fascinating and technically challenging moments right from the beginning of this episode. I love that Stefania chose to visibly have the trucks returning to the barn (something she spoke about here) because it isn’t something we’ve really seen before, as it would be challenging to shoot. I’d love to know how they balanced how much ND filter would be needed to block out the light coming in through those open doors without losing visibility on the trucks and the characters. This would’ve been a full team effort to set up this sequence, especially considering it’s (nearly) a oner from this moment until 30 seconds later, when Vic tells Theo she doesn’t care that he kissed Kate. (There is a tiny cut while Beckett is walking across with his axe that they hid really well in their editing, but is still technically a jumpcut.)

[A oner or one-shot is a term to describe a scene filmed in a single shot. They are very, very difficult and time-consuming to do as everything must be synchronized and rehearsed and one little mistake can send you all the way back to the very beginning of the scene. The first one I ever remember seeing was Miley Cyrus’ music video for Start All Over in 2007. Director Mike Flanagan has killed it with two incredible/epically long ones in The Haunting of Hill House episode 6 and Midnight Mass episode 2. There’s also a great one in season 19, episode 12 of Grey’s Anatomy, which was directed by Kevin McKidd, and which Stefania herself was in. If you wanna know more about oners, hit me up as I have a plethora of links and behind-the-scenes information regarding how they’re done because I think they are sooooooo cool.]

I just gotta say, I laughed out loud at this moment. Solid editing aligned the whip of Travis’ head with the end of the backing music that was hilarious and so on brand for the show. Something like that wouldn’t have been planned on set, most likely, and would’ve occurred instead in the editing suite. But I so dig that the choice was made because it’s perfect. Kudos to Stefania if she had any involvement with it other than saying ‘keep it’. (I’m presuming the editor, Eli Nilsen, is who I have to thank for it.)

Also, the movement of this scene was gold, which is entirely up to Stefania’s direction. I loved the switch of Travis from the chair to the couch beside Vic. There was so much great coverage, the pans from outside the room were beautiful; all-in-all I thought it was a really excellently executed scene, from a purely technical standpoint.

In Stefania’s directing interview with Shondaland, she spoke about starting with more wide shots at the beginning of this episode and gradually getting closer and closer. Which I love, of course, as an artistic choice. What I found most consistently, however, was a subversion of the TV formula of establishing shot to character shot.

To break that down, most shows setup new scenes with a wide, establishing shot of the new location (think Friends, where you see the outside of their apartment building before any scene with the characters in their apartments – this is very sitcom) before going to the characters.

A lot of the scenes in this episode, though, start with a closeup of the characters before moving to a wider shot of where they are. The scene with Maya and the drill, for instance: we start on that drill and the window frame before we pull back to see its her, that she’s in the nursery, that there are boxes stacked up, that Carina is trying to change Liam’s diaper, etc, etc. I think that choice lends a lot to the emotionality of the episode and is really intelligent editing, but also really intelligent coverage of each section of the story on set.

Specifically, my notes said: “It keeps you pulled into where the character is at mentally, emotionally, versus where they are physically.”

As we move into Maya and Carina’s house, I have so much to say about colour. This shot is a great spot to dive into all the tiny little details. I will say, I don’t know if Stefania would’ve had as much say regarding colour and set design or dressing on a singular episode as she would if she were directing a film. But! Whoever made choices for this was so, so on.

Just… look at this for a moment. Carina goes with this house. Everything in this shot blends cohesively. The yellow of the counter and backsplash is balanced with the yellow clothes in the basket atop the dryer. The blue of Carina’s jeans pulls the blue stripe from the dish towels hanging on the stove. The pink of her shirt goes with her shoes and the pink flowers on the wallpaper around the window. Everything belongs here. Even the stripes of Carina’s shirt are reminiscent of the Carina we first met in Grey’s Anatomy six years ago.

For me, this lends so much to the dynamic occurring between Maya and Carina in all these scenes. While Carina fits visually, Maya still appears just slightly off – the red of her sweater doesn’t quite match anything, her jeans are darker. As she talks in the kitchen with Carina, she’s cast more into shadow than Carina is.

My inner film theory geek was rejoicing at all of these choices, simply because they’re a prime example of the importance of all departments involved in film and television production. Big ups and shoutouts to the production designer (Sandy Getzler) and art department on this episode (Carissa E. Mitchell, Jorge Rodriguez, Alisha Rothman, and Kennedy Taylor) and the costume department (Meesh Daranyi, Veronica Teong, and Cleo Trifonidis).

There’s a lot of really, really strong framing choices in this episode. I could (and might) rant for a bit about all that. But this scene struck me, both from a writing standpoint and the execution.

Choosing to do this call with voiceovers not only saves so much money and time, it also builds a ton on the emotionality of this moment for all of these characters. I love that Stefania brought in a bit of that constant moving energy we know and recognize from Grey’s Anatomy here, too.

I screenshot this specific frame because we have this moment where we see so much of what we know of Chief Ross – her power, her importance, how put-together she is. And then the shot pans up to her face, as we’re listening to these awful things happening on the other end of the radio and it’s her breaking point. This scene is her rock bottom – her inciting incident where she has to, ultimately, decide to act or react. I’m hopeful, as a viewer, that this is telling of her story for the rest of the season being a battle with the mayor for funding.

Anyways, I love Stefania for this framing. I love the panning. I love the movement. I love the cuts and all the angles. I love that she chose the lenses she did, cause girl clearly loves a short depth of field. Just, she knows what she’s doing and I am here for it.

Let it be said that the pan shot of Andy and Beckett in the front seat of the truck, which is the start of this scene, is probably my favourite shot of the episode. It made my breath catch the first time I saw it. Toss in the exquisite, gut-wrenching coverage of the bloody boot print and the pan over Herrera written on Andy’s turnouts and it’s all chef’s kiss. Directing Queen Stefania is coming for the jugulars with the emotionality of the episode by this point.

Especially considering, this boot print is not important to the story at all – this is entirely stylistic. There is one shot, however, where she covered the Jaws of Life being placed in the truck after a call and that was very important to the story.

I wrote a lot about this shot, so I’m going to talk about it, too. I think it was a cool choice to start this scene with a head-on closeup of Theo. From a technical standpoint, a shot like this is challenging to do because you want to see more of the bathroom behind him, to help establish the location, but the lens needed to make that possible distorts faces a bit when it’s too close.

As a viewer, I found that here and when you notice it, it’s a little off-putting. Especially considering everything else in the show is shot true to reality. (One other great example of a time when shot angle/framing/lens didn’t align correctly for my eyes is in season 3, when Maya and Carina are on vacation together and they kiss before going to the pool.)

I will say, the unnervingness of this distort might have been intentional. Throwing viewers off-kilter is a great way to build emotionality and unease. It just sticks out here, because it doesn’t really occur anywhere else. (She used the same framing later in the episode for Vic, too. I think it was less unsettling there because Vic was moving, whereas Theo was just looking at himself.)

Gold star at the end of this scene for the continuity department – a department of one, Sharon Cingle on script supervision – for making sure the shower curtain was left open that little crack to make the closeup pan of Ben make sense. How many times can I say I loved a shot?

My first note for this scene says: “Can’t say Stefania doesn’t love an ECU and a rack focus… beautiful establishing for this scene from the hands to Beckett’s feet.”

[A rack focus is when the focus of a shot visibly shifts from one point in the frame to another, typically from closer to further away or vice versa. It is more obvious when done with a short depth-of-field, which means a smaller amount of space that is in focus at a time – such as in the shot above.]

This episode was a lot of fun for me because it felt like Stefania was playing with parts of the set we haven’t scene before. The communal bunk room, for starters. A different angle of the station, where you could see the balconies outside and houses behind the building. And this moment – with the sink and the back of the barn. I can’t even imagine how tricky it must’ve been to maneuver and set up shots in such a tight space.

But she did it, of course. We’ve got this gloriously tight angle of Beckett’s face, where we could watch the tears roll down his cheek. And that pinprick of light is visible in his pupil, which you want present when lighting human faces for on screen.

And I mean, the levels here are so interesting. There’s rule of thirds happening in these shots. There’s balance of characters in the framing. Most importantly, there’s something unspoken happening with the swap of power. This is Beckett’s breaking point in the episode – he’s literally sitting at rock bottom, the lowest he can get in the station. With Sullivan, who was once his lesser, above and looking down to him. That’s powerful body language – you’ll find a lot of people feel a need to stand when they’re asserting their authority in a situation, trying to gain the higher ground. (It’s almost like this thing burned into our DNA from years of building castles on hills and shit.)

But this is a turning point in the episode for Sullivan, too. He once tried to help Beckett and was refuted and now he’s being faced with a choice to either extend the offer again or turn away from the problem. I like that his decision is echoed in helping Beckett up off the floor. Kudos to Stefania for staging it this way.

Now’s probably a great time to dive into Stefania’s framing choices, cause she did some crazy beautiful stuff. My notes say: “Queen of the two-shot!” here. It’s fascinating to me how she used reflections in this episode – the first couple times we see Andy get out of the engine, we see a flash of her face in the side mirrors before we actually see her face-on. She also played with the mirror in the bathroom with Vic and Kate’s confrontation.

[A two-shot is when two characters are visible in the same frame.]

But, at least for me, the two shots and reflections work because she consistently picked lenses with a shorter depth of field. The rack focuses between characters make these shots so much more visually interesting. There were so many of them that I nabbed in my screenshotting that spoke to me or got me excited or were examples of a really good eye.

Exhibit a, b, c:

And while we’re talking about two- (and three-) shots, let’s discuss foreground. Because I was so struck by a few shots, specifically because of the choices of things Stefania kept in the shot in front of the characters.

From screenshots already above: the wall outside the kitchen in Maya and Carina’s house and the engine with Beckett’s feet behind it. Please see exhibit a, b, c, d for more that struck me:

I don’t know how to explain this really technically, my dudes, but it’s so visually pleasing. It’s so interesting. It kept my eyes so invested in what was going on. I love when directors give us a chance to really explore the set design and feel really immersed in the location with characters. There were so many times this episode where Stefania chose a framing through a window – from inside Maya and Carina’s house while they were outside, through the blinds into the gym and Andy’s office and the conference room, into the engine and the ladder truck through the windshield. I can’t sing enough praises about that.

Let’s wrap this up with Andy. There are two scenes in this episode where she’s having important, serious conversations with men that she holds authority over. And Jaina is short, especially when next to Boris and Carlos. A different director might have chosen to frame these scenes in a way that made Andy appear smaller than these men – but not Stefania.

There’s a really conscious effort here to keep Andy’s authority visually present – the shots pull in closer on her and the guys’ heads are cut off. She doesn’t look shadowed by them and their height because of this framing. It makes it very, very clear that this is her story and she is the most important character in the room.

And honestly, I think that’s a great example of this show – and Stefania’s direction – not being a male gaze interpretation. There is no passivity to the way she has shot the women in this episode. They are not presented as weak or small or not in control, even when the emotionality of a scene is overwhelming. Andy, Ross, Vic… they are very human in this episode, even when they’re crying. For me, that’s what makes the entirety of the work here so strong.

I am endlessly proud of her and this episode. One of the best of the show for me.

You go, Stefania Spampinato.

#janelle's asks #film and television production #film school analysis coming in hot #thank you for this anon... I had fun #station 19 #director stefania spampinato #station 19 spoilers #station 19 season 7 episode 4 #episode analysis

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respectthepetty · 2 years ago

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609 Bedtime Story: Ep. 4 - KH Edition

Theory Tracking - Introduction, Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3

The amount of times BLs have given us the blue + red = purple color scheme this year is wild!

But bringing the title cards into this is next level. Please let the episode where their worlds collide have the font in purple. PLEASE!

Timeline

We got an hourglass shot similar to the one we got in episode one in Mum's apartment.

We are STILL on the 8th in Mum’s universe, and the 21st in fantasy Dew’s universe, but now we see the 8th in Dew's universe.

We began the episode in Dew’s blue world from the 4th – 8th which we were shown the similar time period in Mum’s universe in the first episode. All Dew's friends were at a party including Mint.

Theory #0 – There is an unedited version ✔

Confirmed last week that they aren’t edited versions, but the scenes we're missing are part of the flash forwards/flashbacks.

The gaybors were not pleased about this ruckus in the hall.

Theory #1 – Mum is dying

Minimal Mum this week so no progress on this theory, and when we did see him HE DIDN’T LOOK AT THE PICTURE!

But that STOP sign in the background lingers too much for it to not be a warning.

Theory #2 – Dew is Mint’s boyfriend ✔

Not only does Mint want to date Dew in Mum’s universe, but also in Dew’s universe, and she is getting rejected in BOTH.

Baby girl, he's gay.

Theory #3 – Games knows something

He pulled Mum away right before Mum and Dew could see each other. He excused it away by stating Mint was there.

He said he already had a backup person, but why would he already have one if he didn't know something was going to happen?

Yet he still seemed freaked out being around Dew and called Dew “Dream.”

He sent the picture of Dew and Mint together to Mum.

I think that Games didn’t want Mum and Dew to meet alone. He is trying to make Mum aware of Mint and Dew’s relationship, and knows that Dew is the ones from the dreams. Games has to know SOMETHING! Maybe it's tied to his green love for Vee.

Theory #4 – They exist in each other’s world but are different ✔

Proven last week. The Mint and Dew in Dew’s universe aren’t speaking. The Mint and Dew in Mum’s universe are speaking.

Theory #5 (new entry) - Mint is the killer

Mum scribbled "Girlfriend" on the "Who Killed Dew?" chart without knowing that Mint is/wants to be Dew's girlfriend. We know from the flash forwards that she's crying about something, but could that something be that she shot Dew or that she found out about Mum and Dew and is so upset that she's willing to kill?

Theory Recap

Theories proven - 3-ish last week

Theories squashed - 0 squashed this week

Theories added - 1

Questions answered - We know Dew's friends are mad at him because they think he is playing with Mint's emotions, but we didn't find out who Jake is. Is that the uncle? I thought the uncle's name is Pratin because Mum circled the name on his "Who killed Dew?" chart. When Dew spoke about Jake with Mum, Mum said Jake was a bad friend not an uncle. But on the note of the uncle, who was that man he was talking to?

He could lurk in my shadows too.

#609 bedtime story #kimlock holmes is on the case #dew x mum #episode 4 #vee x games #I have theories for days #mint x dew #<- at least in her dreams #please let Mint be the murderer #And let Games me a universe traveler

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communitypoolswimlessons · 9 months ago

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last July I decided to record my thoughts on the miraculous ladybug movie

, here you go

(prepare for the most massive text block of your life)

Why is the lighting so harsh all the time????Marinette's speaking v singing voice is soooo. Different

AND WHY DID GABRIEL HAVE LONG HAIR AT ONE POINT BURN IT

And also? Why do they have a ginormous portrait of them in MOURNING CLOTHES.

careless whisper playing as chat takes ladybug's hand is the most correct ever

Also, Adrian is me coded fr

Chat is chaos incarnate

WHY TF DOES CHAT LEAP AWAY LIKE THAT

Adrian get your life together why does a girl make you smile this much you JUST met her

stHAP WHY DID THEY MAKE ADRIAN SO BBGGabriel????? Singing?????

STOP it right now (his whole villain song is sendingggggg meede)

You know what I love how Marinette loves her dad

Marinette's emo song goes hard

I know this is, like, a show about magical powers and whatnot but I really like how they show the destruction of the fight and how, even while helping, damage is done

DONT THINK I DIDNT SEE LUKA I DID I WAS CHEERING HIM ON IN ANY SCENE HE WAS IN

HEATHENS. ABSOLUTE HEATHENS. WHY MUST THEY BITE THEIR ICE CREAM

The banter as they fight is killing me oh my god

And before people ask who I ship in the weird love square, it's just the two of them with the banter ladybug and chat noir have.

IDK WHY IT GOT SO COMPLICATED BUT IT DID AND IM CONFUSED. they are LITERALLY the same people, different fonts.

*breath has been stolen from my body* THE WALL OTS LITERALLY FANFICTION WRITING ITSELF

Also, /gen, how old are they? Because I know in the series they're like 14-15, but in the movie the animation really does make them look younger idk. I think it's around the same?

GEEZE when Marinette claps back she does so brilliantly

$$$picture of dead spider, could have been spiderman$$$

If a) chat noir gets akumatized or b) they don't end up together I will riot I have seen both happen and I have already suffered!!!! I've paid my dues!!!

IM SORRY THE WHOLE HAND THING WHERE IT SHOWS THE PROGRESSION THROUGHOUT THE MOVIE I HAVE DIED DEAD OH MY GOODNESS I HAVE PASSED AWAY /VPOS

Chat is so goofy frOH MY GOD NO NOT THE DOIBLE DUMP SHUT UP AND SHOW YOUR SECRET IDENTITY ALREADY

Also the earbuds?? As a symbol for Adrian's mental state??? Pretty smart ngl

There's only half an hour left Marinette needs to stop singing and get this fixed!!!

Why is hawkmoth like that???? He went from some silly goofy villain with a dark past to me angst machine who only cares about joining his wife like, yes that's his motive in the series but it's much more sane? I guess?

NOOOOO CARLESS WHISPER IS HIS RINGTONE?????

adrian oh my god stop being angsty AND DO YOUR JOB

Plagg has my whole heart fr

Sad we didn't get to see a slow transformation for chat tho

the suspense oh my god stop it

THEYRE TOO YOUNG FOR THIS YOUR HONOR GET YOUR GRIMY LITTLE HANDS AWAY FROM MY BABIES

damn got them with the force

OH MY GOD THIS MAN KNOWS THAT THEY ARE CHILDREN AND DOES. NOT. CARE. LIKE SIR???

what the heck oh my god OH MY GOD THE REVEAL ITS TIME

literally only half of the mask is gone when he recognizes adrian this man needs to spend more time with his child.

If hawkmoth has a redemption arc I will be waiting in line to punch him. Take a number I will gladly do so. Just lemme at him.

How does his cat ears stay on?

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD THE REVEAL

why is the wife not in her glass case she's gonna decompose!!!!

#miraculous ladybug #Miraculous ladybug movie #adhd thoughts #I can't even remember the plot of the movie #chat notturne #ladybug and chat noir #tales of ladybug and cat noir #miraculous

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cryingoverspilledmilks-blog · 2 years ago

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Kismet

Fandom: The Glass Scientists

Current rating: T

Chapter: 1

Title: Fugue

A/N: This fic is sort of a canon-divergent, wish-fulfillment drabble piece that started as a lot of different fics i wrote that i discovered had scenes that would fit better together as a single fic, and so i took snippets from those and stuck them together and whittled the whole mess down into something more manageable. Lots of late night editing sessions for something I'm doing for free, but I was motivated to finish this by someone being so very enthusiastic in the tags on the WIP excerpts I posted, which was honestly such a delight to wake up to. Thank you so much btw @greedycanine I really appreciate that boost and I hope I meet your expectations in the full chapters :)

The comic has updated several times since I began writing this, and I did add some non-canon elements (for instance, that Lanyon Knows, which is a common enough trope in this fandom and one that I enjoy immensely.)

The flaws in this one might not be as glaring as my over-anxious mind anticipates, but if you notice them, I probably have too. It is likely best read as a self-contained hypothetical with hints of canon plot woven in. It's a bit messy, but I think it may be enjoyable nonetheless.

Here is the first part of this great beast. It consists mostly of a conversation, beginning with some emblematic Jekyll and Hyde mirror-bickering. I thought it would be interesting to explore one of those moments where Hyde has something insightful to say, even if it's something of a means to an end for him.

The font changes are something of a fanfic guilty pleasure for me, but they're also a tool I love to use to show who's speaking and how, without necessarily using a dialogue tag every other line, especially when we have two characters who have the ability to communicate both in ways only they can hear and in ways others can.

Hope all of that works for y'all. Happy reading :)

Chapter 1: Fugue

“Are you ready to let me back out yet? Believe it or not, hanging over your shoulder all day does get old.”

"Not now."

“Why not?”

"I don’t want you getting involved in this. We've just made it through into the thickest of this whole ordeal. There’s still too much at stake."

“Ugh. That’s how you see every situation you can’t directly micromanage. It’s like the whole of your world is always resting oh-so-precariously on the head of a pin, ready to be upset by the slightest deviation from your expectations. Lighten up just this once, won't you?"

Henry sighed heavily at that and slid his finished page to the far side of the desk, thinking better of his initial impulse to reply. Pulling a fresh sheet of paper into view and dipping his pen into the inkwell again, he continued to write, attempting to ignore the familiar but currently disembodied speaker.

“Don’t act like you can’t hear me all of a sudden," the voice grumbled impatiently. "You know, I’ve noticed something lately, Henry. You always insist on framing our situation as though you’re the most responsible party between the two of us, but you never seem to have any really substantial backup plans on hand, in case those delicate matters you like fussing over so much go awry. You never give yourself a real margin of error, despite the fact you're always angsting over what could go wrong.”

Ink pooled slightly on the page under Henry’s pen as he paused, scoffing at the insinuation that he’d been anything but diligent. “And you do?” he prodded back sarcastically, speaking aloud this time, his voice firm but quiet. He was rather aware of precisely how audible he was behind his office door. It was more risky to communicate this way, but he seemed to have an easier time filtering himself when he wasn’t trying to speak internally, and that was important when he was dealing with his incorporeal counterpart.

The lengthy mirror standing off to one side drew his eye when he heard the reply.

“Oh, I always figure something out, one way or another. Surely you know that better than anyone.”

Henry rolled his eyes at the hazy silhouette that suddenly could be glimpsed in the mirror’s reflection of the opposite wall. “Abandoning every situation that doesn’t go your way and playing hopscotch all over the city’s rooftops is not a backup plan,” he muttered bitterly, composing the end of a follow-up letter for a prospective sponsor before setting the page aside to let the ink dry.

“It can be, if you’re clever enough," the shadow replied. "Also, you're one to talk about giving up easy. Just a few weeks ago I watched you nearly forfeit your whole operation just because Lanyon told you he didn't think things looked sound after you passed out mid-speech. Face it, you’re all or nothing when it comes to solving problems. What is that about?”

Another exasperated sigh as Henry spared another glance at the shadow in the mirror. "Can we not do this right now? You only ask these questions because you already know what gets under my skin. You don't really care about the answers, do you?"

When the shadow spoke next, it was with a mockery of a hurt tone, the dark shape leaning back slightly. A silhouetted hand rested against an approximation of the chest, in a gesture best described as theatrically wounded.

"Why, you insult me, dear doctor. I'm only curious, for both of our sakes, being as close as we are," came the snidely-sweet reply.

Henry narrowed his eyes. “Do you honestly expect I could believe you truly care about what happens to me? After all you've put me through? You take such joy in my misfortune. Really, you can drop the saccharine nonsense, Hyde."

Letting the name slip from his mouth was a mistake, but wouldn’t be costly this time since they were alone- and he only uttered it the one time, Henry reasoned quickly. It was mostly to try to quell the dread in his stomach at the prospect of someone in the hall happening by as he said it out loud, in an otherwise perceptibly empty room.

Hyde vanished from the glass, only to reappear, more thoroughly illuminated, in the empty air near the desk, looking slightly more like a person than an apparition now, as well as irritated.

“I’m trying to tell you that you might actually benefit from trying things my way. Be a little more spontaneous. Roll over the bumps in the road, instead of just counting on things going the right way the first time, every time. It was funny to watch you flounder at first, I must admit, but honestly it's just getting old. I wonder what would happen if you switched things up and proved me right," he paused briefly, noting Henry's contemplative expression.

"And another thing!" Hyde exclaimed, pointing at the ceiling for emphasis. "You told me you'd let me out after the exhibition, then not at all, and now here you are again running yourself uselessly into the ground. The bourgeois types you find yourself groveling to yet again are notoriously hard to satisfy. Why should you have to rush if they already know what you and the others are capable of?"

Stretching a little as Hyde went on, Henry stopped a moment and glanced out the window with a pensive look in his eye.

“That's one of the few times you’ve been right about something, amongst all those snide remarks.”

“Hey!” Hyde sounded affronted at first, then did an almost comical double-take. "Wait, you agree with me?"

“I can certainly see what you mean, even if I can't abide by that advice in the same way you might,” Henry began. “We need everyone's projects to come together smoothly if we're to maintain what good standing we've managed to acquire with our sponsors. They have high hopes and even higher expectations after the splash everyone made at the exhibition. We would need to plan for every eventuality within reach of what we set out to do, but… I do miss things while trying to account for the unexpected, don’t I? Always, something unforeseen gets in my way.” Henry turned in his seat and reached into the cabinet above, pulling out a leather-bound notebook tucked behind a row of vials. Flipping to the first clean page, he dipped his pen into the inkwell once more. "Somehow the fact you managed to worm your way back to the front of our mind to pester me once again is not one such surprise.."

Hyde furrowed his brow in displeasure, rolling his eyes at Henry's little jab. “Of course it isn't. Did you really think I could be held down so easily? You made it harder for me to take over the body on my own, but I'm still here." he paused for a moment. "How long is this going to take?"

“Not quite as long as you seem to be concerned about. I just have to jot down some…alternatives so I remember them while the subject is fresh,” Henry spoke mildly, but his expression was disgruntled and contemplative.

Hyde rolled his eyes, and did not look at Henry's page, whose looping, slanted script looked far too dull for him to devote attention to at this hour, restless and bitter as he was.

Henry went on, "I'm still upset about that stunt you pulled on the stage, but I'm certain you figured that out already. It was cruel even by your usual standards."

“Cruelty is the very thing I'm made for, but now that you mention it, I actually did you a favor by dragging you down into the dark and the quiet," Hyde spat."You're just addicted to working until you pass out. It's a real fuckin' problem."

As he grew more impatient, the East-London drawl that Hyde had picked up since his creation was seeping further into his inflections. Beneath that, there was a slight but distinct lilt which gestured toward shared memories of Glasgow, making an uncommon cocktail of tones that were unmistakably signature to him. Like so many things about Hyde, Henry noticed, it produced a quality both familiar and foreign. It was, fittingly enough, a faintly haunting thing to witness, a reminder of just how right Hyde always was about the extent of their connection.

Henry squinted his eyes shut as if to abandon that train of thought, trying to remain bearably numb to the reality of being forever stuck arguing with a living distillate of the most confusing parts of himself. “If I'm doomed to be addicted to anything at all, as you say I am, I'd much rather it be something useful,” Henry replied coldly after a moment, the page under his pen nearly full.

Hyde paused, nose wrinkled in defensive chagrin. "I don't concern myself with counting the ways I can be used by others. At least my addictions don't rely on people telling me what to do," he muttered. "Are you done yet?"

Henry shook his head in stiff silence, much to Hyde’s dismay. He gave a frustrated groan. “You can pick this up tomorrow! It’s getting close to evening by now, and you always take so much longer with these things than you say you will."

Once the page was dry and flipped over, there was no reply but the continued, now noticeably forceful scratching of Henry’s pen. His brow was creased with irritation, a deepening frown on his face.

Hyde growled in frustration. “Jekyll!”

Henry grit his teeth, snapping a look over at Hyde that was a mixture of anger and anxiety. "Must you be so childish?! Don't think I don't know what you're doing by now, I am not as much of a fool as you seem to think. Why should I go out of my way to let you out again, when you have proven time and time again that you don't know how to keep your excursions from ruining everything I strive for?"

He could not stop the impatient edge from entering his voice, as much as he'd wanted to avoid raising it tonight. As he spoke, Hyde's features twisted into a mask of indignation and rage.

"You don't know the first thing about ruin! Try being in my position for a change- less than nothing, a ghost of a ghost! And for what? You have no idea how lucky you really are. My entire existence is eaten up by watching another man live a life I could do so much more with if I was given the chance!"

Jekyll shut the notebook with a forceful swipe of his hand down against the desk, eyes downcast. "I would love to see you try living my life for once," he replied flatly, "If perhaps you weren't so preoccupied with immediate gratification, maybe I'd even trust you with making an attempt."

"Perhaps if we had any more of that potion of ours made, I would be able to seriously debate if I wanted to take you up on that. But I am mostly stranded now, and it isn't my fault I wound up that way. You're the one who made that call." Hyde shot back, moving phantom-like toward the doorway that led to the other portion of the office, where many of their experiments had taken place.

Jekyll tucked the notebook into a drawer under his desk, slamming it closed in irritation. "Not your fault? I had to destroy it. You would have found some way to get your hands on it when I was needed most, because that is what you always do! You didn't give me another choice!"

Hyde's image distorted slightly for a moment, like smeared paint on canvas, before resolving itself, as if reacting physically to emotion. "There is always another choice! This is what I'm talking about. All or nothing. We are two parts of a whole, you know that. Or, at least you ought to by now."

His voice, as well, seemed faintly doubled, the translation of a will to be heard. "You need me around, you know you do, even if you can't admit it. How many times have you watched me indulge in what you couldn't? How many times have you deliberately sent me into the world to voice the thoughts you must otherwise claim to revile? How much benefit have you reaped from our cooperation? You can't keep me locked away forever. You will always need the outlet I provide."

Jekyll's head began to ache a bit the longer he considered Hyde's point. It was true, he knew, that he found a secret kind of fulfillment in watching things he could never partake in play out vicariously from behind Hyde's eyes. This was a fault, really, or at least he thought so. However, a fault that he had not managed to shake off, for the better part of fifteen years. It would take a lot of willpower to break a habit like that after so long. That was partly why he had destroyed the potion to begin with. He knew Hyde was probably right, that he was not really strong enough to resist the temptation of such freedom.

Technically, the potion could be recreated if it was necessary, though it was always an arduous process. They had needed to do that many times over a decade and a half. But Jekyll had cut himself off from that last ready-made batch as a last desperate bid for control, and had thought never to make it again.

Thinking about how much work still needed to be done before the lodgers' new project deadlines was a miserable uphill battle. Even now, deep down, he wanted to be somewhere else tonight, doing anything besides wearing himself out, cooped up in the office for the umpteenth time. Acknowledging that, even privately, felt like a betrayal of a higher caliber than even Hyde's, but the thought persisted even still.

He sighed. "Well...be that as it may, you are still an enormous liability. And, besides which- what do you even want me to do? What remained of that batch of the potion is gone now."

Hyde paused, and his expression shifted, from anger to mild disbelief, and finally into a smug, cheshire smile. "Well, I have been thinking about that, and I realized- it's not all gone," he moved toward the tall, solid wooden cabinet against the far wall of the office. It was the one Jekyll kept things that were risky to have visible behind glass (copies of the will written in his name, for instance.) It was also, Jekyll realized with dawning horror, where Hyde kept his physical set of clothing tucked away when Jekyll was in control.

Among them was a tattered overcoat, with two stolen vials of HJ-7 tucked into the inside pocket.

Enough for exactly one last night on the town before the potion would have to be remade entirely. A final obstacle in the way of true control. A pacifying bargaining chip to buy himself more time before the pair of them would argue like this again.

Hyde seemed to recognize the way Jekyll's eyes shifted in thinly-concealed conflict, bordering on panic, and if it was possible, his grin widened.

"You remember the night I went to Blackfog, don't you, Jekyll?"

#the glass scientists #fanfic #multichapter #Saying fuckit and just posting what i have bc yall waited so patiently #I have more on the way dont worry

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disney-forever-and-evermore · 1 year ago

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How I imagine an in-universe The Avengers musical

based on the comments from this pin

He starts the musical with the song "The Avengers Initiative" sung by the narrator Nick Fury featuring his speech

Loki has a ballad called "Kneel Before Me" during the scene where Tony and Steve catch him. This includes his theme from past movies (does he have one?) and his speech from the films, making this song one of the most dramatic solo songs from the musical. We get (hopefully) multiple reprises, each one getting more depressing and honest. (thanks @maddy_clough on Pinterest for the idea, I just expanded on it). Also, Loki dances quite gracefully and shows off a lot of his magic.

Nat is a mezzo and her solo/theme is the softest-sounding song (also @maddy_clough's idea). I honestly want it to be based on some sort of American children's rhyme (itsy bitsy spider?) to show how she is created by the red room since she was a child and was forced to watch many old (prob golden ages/wartime Walt Disney animation studios) Disney movies to learn American culture. Her fighting style is based on ballet and is the most graceful of them all. In her solo, she performs actual ballet, and fun fact, Nat is always played by an actor professionally trained in ballet.

The Chitauri has the most chaotic, hopefully unhinged dance ensemble, during the battle of new york. I just want it to be the craziest shit ever. But not disrespectful to the people lost in the battle of new york.

Steve actually doesn't have his own song/theme, it's the chorus girl song from the 40s. Fury did it to annoy tf out of Steve (and to please fanboy Coulson), but it is actually there to show you that since Steve became Captain America, Steve himself is just secondary. Most people don't want to know him because he's Steve but because he's Captain America. You'll think that Steve dances most with his shield but he's still Steve. He just punches every Chitauri he comes across using the shield as a surprise attack.

Look no one knows why the choreographer decided this but Clint never lets go of his bow & arrow when dancing. Like no one knows why, he just does. Hopefully, he does flips and cool moves, and he'll still be holding his fuckin bow & arrow. Oh and after the battle of new york, we get a bit where he lost his hearing aid so Nat & Clint sign to each other, and behind them, there's a little screen projection of each sign and what they mean. Considering how he isn't in any other MCU movies other than the avengers, I doubt that he has his own solo. like I wished he had a solo and confirmed that he does in fact spend most of his time in the vents but no one appreciates him in the mcu so...

Hulk has an actually good costume. Idk how they'll show the transformation but the Hulk costume is actually good. Bruce's solo is chaotic in a different sense cause Bruce and Hulk are fighting for the solo and their themes crash together. So the fight for control is also represented in the dance cause Bruce dances very small and it's controlled. Hulk is not as unhinged as the Chitauri but is out of control.

Thor's dance is based on Asgardian fighting techniques and how he fights in battle with his hammer. Unlike everyone else, he has an accent and in the script, the director used a whole different font like the comics to show that difference in accent and customs. I'm not sure how but I want Thor's solo and Loki's solo to be parallel in a sense, how you can see that they grew up together but there's a difference in outside respect that changes what they want.

Now Tony is very genius, billionaire, playboy, and philanthropist throughout the musical but when he fights? He's the least graceful. Not only is he wearing his Iron Man costume (which is also very good and realistic) but he and Bruce are the only ones without actual training so he's very... chaotic. He has a solo where he introduces himself to the Avengers in "Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist" which shows Tony as what the in-universe during 2012 portrays him as but in the reprise, it's from Tony's actual perspective which is heartbreaking as always but the catch is the narrator changes from fury to Peggy for this reprise to shows the connection between him and S.H.I.E.L.D.

Does Coulson die, yes sadly. I'm sorry I can't change that even in the musical

Sadly Maria Hills was removed from the musical because according to Secret Invasion, Marvel and the MCU doesn't appreciate her enough to keep to alive.

The musical concludes with now the Avengers singing "The Avengers Initiative" with everyone doing their superhero pose cause why tf not.

#marvel #avengers #natasha romanoff #tony stark #steve rogers #thor odinson #loki laufeyson #clint barton #bruce banner #disney-forever-and-evermore

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birdsinmywalls · 10 months ago

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Ok so I want to start by saying that I have not seen Top Gun and I truly don’t know who this guy is beyond random photos I catch on tumblr. Normally I wouldn’t read something for a character I don’t know because it’s hard to really get an idea of who they are or what they sound like without the context of the movie. HOWEVER, I have seen you and some other people I follow post so many things at “Bob-BrainRot hour” and “Big Dick Bob” and such that I thought I would give this fic a try when it came across my dash. I was NOT disappointed. I think it helps that I love your writing already but I loved how he had these two personalities coming out like he was all quiet in the beginning and pretending he didn’t notice all these things about her but then things got started and he couldn’t stop talking and was full of himself and knew he could make her feel good. I will be looking into more fics on this man because you have sold me on him. Here were my favorite lines and why:

“Promises or not, best friends shouldn’t be one another’s first kiss. Or make out practice partners. Or each other’s New Year's kiss when y'all were single. Or spend Valentine's Day together at the local dinner.” *evil laugh* I love when friends to lovers starts off with something like this. The more oblivious the better lol

“Bob raised an eyebrow, “You guess?” GIRL YOU GUESS?!? I’m on bobs side on this one. I’m flabbergasted

“So instead of eating you out, which would actually be enjoyable on your end, you're telling me they just stuck their hand down there and hoped they were rubbing your clit? You didn't ever ask them to do something else?” this is so funny to me I’m loving this guy

“Bob closed the difference between you and him on the couch, placing a hand on your bare knee.” ALERT: FIRST CONTACT

“You don't have to wait.” GIRL IM SHOOK

“Wouldn't be much different from what we’ve already done.” I meeeannnn I say go for it 🤷‍♀️

“Do you want it to be different?” OOOP

“Yeah, I do.” There was no teasing in his voice.” This man is GOING IN Reader!!! Take the plunge!

“Your body leaned towards him, hands gripping the soft fabric of his old Warped Tour T-shirt.” OMG WARPED TOUR?! I’m totally dead right now. That has me laughing. Fellow scene kids unite!

“I-fuck- yes they did, it just never took this long,” you grunted against his lips.” Is it weird to be excited for a fictional girl? Because her world is about to get rocked with real foreplay and getting ate out and I’m like a cheerleader mom being like “ITS GUNNA BE GREAT YOU GO GIRL”

“How could he do that so quickly?” That would be the foreplay girlie and your undying love for him helps too

“Slowly, he took his glasses off, placing them on the coffee table behind him, making a show of it. Won’t need those. I’m nearsighted after all.” Great detail and funny line!

“How was this the same guy who feared clowns as a kid?” 😂

“Betsey Thomas said you had a huge dick,” you confessed, wishing that you'd think before speaking for once.” Betsey clearly has a talent she should be capitalizing on lol I also think that would be such a funny thing to reach out to someone about “Hey betsey! I know I haven’t spoken to you since 10th grade gym class but I wanted to confirm that bob does indeed have a big dick” if I was Betsy I would eat that text up lol just girls being girls

“Memories of high school escaped your brain, the only thing you could focus on now was Bob and his huge dick.” The tiny crossed out font for “and his huge dick” is great

“I don't want you to go.” love that we are expressing how we feel instead of holding onto it for a miscommunication issue later! Lots of fics fall into that trap this is very refreshing!

“The Navy will be lucky to have his great ability to multitask.” Your writing is always so amazing and full of great humor

“Uh can I….eat you out again? Tomorrow obviously! Like before we go to the diner?” Where can one acquire this man because he’s great!

Ruin the Friendship- Bob Floyd

Warnings: Best friends to lovers trope, it’s so obvious they love each other they’re stupid, language, filth, some angst (why not?), unprotected sex, oral sex (f receiving), Bob being pussy drunk.

Words: 4.8K

This is for @attapullman's Bob Fucks celebration!

When you've been friends with someone since preschool, you get to know them like the back of your hand. Certain quirks and sayings that no longer surprise you.

“God, I wish that were me.”

It wasn't the first time Bob heard you say that. Usually there was a cute dog around, or a sushi boat being delivered at a restaurant when you said it.

But saying it during an oral sex scene in a movie was new.

It also brought up many questions.

Questions Bob shouldn't ask, considering he's known you since preschool. Questions Bob couldn't ask right now, because he was too preoccupied looking at you.

Your eyes were fixated on the screen, focused on the actress withering. Occasionally, they would dart to the other actor who was between the actress’ thighs. Bob noticed the increased rise and fall of your chest, how your front teeth dug into your bottom lip, how when you lean forward, the v-line cut of your shirt showed off the tops of your breasts. The soft glow of the lamps highlighted the beautiful features on your face.

All things he shouldn’t be noticing about his best friend. But then again, best friends shouldn’t be watching a French film together whose plot line focused on sexual liberation before he went off to Navy boot camp.

Granted, you and Bob haven’t had a conventional best friend relationship in a while, if at all, considering both sets of parents claimed you two promised to marry each other at the age of four.

Promises or not, best friends shouldn’t be one another’s first kiss. Or make out practice partners. Or each other’s New Year's kiss when y'all were single. Or spend Valentine's Day together at the local dinner.

The line between friends and something more was blurry, saved by a comment that ensured the other to think that the feelings that had been brewing weren't reciprocated.

“You’re a good kisser. Kelsey McCoy is going to think so too.”

“If Tommy Delaine doesn't like you, he's a dumbass.”

“I’m sure next year you’ll have someone.”

“If I had to spend it with anyone, I want it to be with my best friend.”

“You’re an amazing friend, you know that?”

Why say that if you harbor romantic feelings? Surely, all those kisses and talk of marriage meant nothing to them.

At least that's what the other thought.

It's because of this blurry line that Bob doesn't bite his tongue, doesn't throw away the comment to be forgotten. Instead, he speaks up.

“Been awhile?”

And because it's Bob, the guy you've known your whole life, the guy you tell everything to, your response rolls off your tongue without a second thought.

“Try never.”

It takes Bob a moment to process your words as the way your lips wrap around the beer bottle is far too distracting. But just like processing a car accident, once it registers, your words bring his brain to a screeching halt.

“Wait, never?” The shrug you give isn’t satisfactory. He grabs the remote to pause the movie, ignoring your cries of protest.

“Real talk; are you saying that no one has ever gone down on you?”

You sigh, regretting saying anything in the first place. One would think that after years of friendship, you’d know well enough that once Bob set his mind to something, he wouldn't relent until satisfied.

You down the remnants of your beer, mentally preparing for this conversation.

“No Robby. I've never had someone eat me out. Happy now?” Reaching for the remote was all in vain, as he just held it further away from you.

Darn those long limbs.

“But you've been with people…..so what did they do?” When you looked at him, there was no malice, just Bob looking genuinely baffled. His gentle blue eyes put you at ease, giving you the comfort to explain.

“They would touch me,” you motioned to the lower half of your body, “And like finger me. Enough to get me ready, I guess.”

Bob raised an eyebrow, “You guess?”

College was supposed to be a time for you to explore, to figure yourself out, to interact with new people.

And yet, when it came to the relationship aspect, everything had fizzled. You were now going into your junior year having yet to experience a meaningful romantic relationship.

Did you just have shit luck? Or was it because your mind would wander back to a bespectacled best friend when you were in bed with someone else?

Bob didn't have the pristine mouth that parents thought he possessed. You knew, and had known for a while. And yet, hearing him say the phrase your clit in his deep, slightly twangy voice felt different.

You rubbed your thighs together.

“Are you shaming the people I've been with or me?”

Bob closed the difference between you and him on the couch, placing a hand on your bare knee.

Have his hands always been so big and veiny?

Fuck, did you have a thing for hands?

“I'm not shaming you. I’m shaming the people you've been with because well,” he ran a hand up and down the back of his neck, “Well, I enjoy giving….I like doing it. So I guess I'm surprised other people don't?”

His statement was shocking because everyone else you had been with viewed it as a chore, as something to use every excuse in the book to avoid doing.

Too tired. Takes too long. Wet enough so what's the point?

“You…like doing it?”

The tops of his cheeks reddened, despite a smirk beginning to form, “Yeah. I like giving and I like making them feel good. It's also a confidence booster, being able to make someone fall apart with your mouth.”

It shouldn't come as a surprise, it was Bob after all. The same Bob who always brought an extra pencil with him to algebra, in case you forgot yours. The same Bob who shared his Dunkaroos because your mom refused to buy them. The same Bob who made his dream of serving his country finally come true after years of hard work.

He was selfless. But this didn't feel like selflessness. Hearing him talk about giving pleasure, making someone fall apart with his mouth, was different. Even his voice when he said it was different, raspier than usual.

“Well,” you scooted closer to the edge of the couch, trying to widen the gap so he couldn't feel how hot your body was, “I can't wait ‘til I meet someone who feels the same way.”

“You don't have to wait.”

The grip on your beer bottle tightened, the alcohol getting caught in your throat. There's no way he could have just said that, no way he could be implying what you're thinking.

But when you look at Bob, he was staring back with raised eyebrows and thin lips curled into a little smirk. The same look he’s given you countless times before when he mumbles a smartass comment only your ears were privy to hear.

You heard me.

“What-are you…” You stared at him, mouth agape. Bob appeared unphase by it, like he had just offered something totally normal and rational.

Perhaps it was the three beers he had downed. Perhaps it was the rush of adrenaline kicking in after realizing this was his last chance at making a move before he left.

“Wouldn't that be like crossing a line?” Your head was racing, alternating between flashbacks of when you kissed Bob and imagining what it would be like to have his mouth on your body.

“Wouldn't be much different from what we’ve already done.”

All the air was sucked out of the room by his comment. Because of course he wasn't doing this because he wanted to, because he wanted you. This would be meaningless, just like everything else. If you went through with this, you’d wake up the next day to Bob leaving with nothing changed, still in this seemingly endless limbo.

Long, nimble fingers hooked themselves under your chin, gently forcing you to look up.

The look he gave you was unfamiliar. His eyes remained focused on your face, though it seemed like they were searching.

For what, you couldn't tell.

After what felt like an eternity, he finally spoke, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Do you want it to be different?”

What good was telling him if he didn’t feel the same way, thus ruining a great friendship?

“Do you want it to be different Robby?” You countered back.

He leaned in, his breath hot on your face, “I asked you first.”

He thought he had the upper hand. But you were like a lightning bug, faster.

“I asked you second, Robby.”

Like a rubber band, the tension snapped as Bob was unable to hold back a snort of laughter. The tension left your shoulders, the sight of him laughing familiar and safe.

“I’m going to really miss your resounding maturity,” Bob deadpanned after gaining the ability to compose himself, though a sweet crooked smile remained.

It was now your turn to roll your eyes, though it didn’t stop the smile currently forming on your face. Seeing this side of Bob was always fun; most folks thought he was quiet and meek. The truth was that he liked to observe and didn’t find value in speaking when it wasn’t necessary. He didn’t hold back with you, didn’t feel the need to sit and observe. He truly conversed with you and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t make you feel special.

He was never that way with the other girls he dated.

“You love me,” you teased back. It was a comment you've said countless times, always with that sweet, albeit mischievous smile that made Bob's heart flutter.

But this time instead of shaking his head or rolling his eyes, he leaned forward until your foreheads were touching.

Seeing him up close took your breath away. You could see how his roots were beginning to darken, the blonde fading as he got older. The little scar on his chin from a BB Gun incident when he was ten. Eyes bluer than the ocean. The ends of his hair were beginning to curl, something you'd greatly miss when he'd get the military mandated buzz cut.

“Yeah, I do.” There was no teasing in his voice. No mischief in his eyes. Instead of playfully shaking your shoulder, his hand found its way to the back of your neck, fingers cupping your warm skin. He was moving quickly, making you unable to truly process what he had just said.

Despite it being new territory, he was handling it beautifully. You, on the other hand, were torn between wondering if your increased heart beat was medically concerning and how large Bob’s hands were.

“You gotta….if you want to stop, tell me,” His breathing had increased, like it did when he had finished his part in the marching band. But this wasn’t marching band practice and y’all weren’t on the high school field. You were in your parents’ basement, with Bob’s lips quickly closing the gap between yours and his.

It wasn’t your first time kissing Bob, but it might as well have been. Years of experience had given him more confidence. He knew where to put his hands now, one still on your neck to guide you, the other gripping the soft flesh of your hip. He didn’t hesitate to slide his tongue across your bottom lip, successfully driving you wild.

When the rounded tip of his nose brushed against yours, a soft laugh escaped your lips. Bob didn’t mind, using the chance to let his tongue explore your mouth. Your body leaned towards him, hands gripping the soft fabric of his old Warped Tour T-shirt.

“I thought you,” your words were slurred, a weak moan interrupting your speech due to his lips moving down to your neck, “Thought you were gonna eat me out.”

Bob’s moan vibrated against your skin, sending shivers down your spine. His hands traveled to your breasts, gripping them through your T-shirt. It wasn't a hard squeeze, which is what you were used to.

It was pleasurable. Bob was pleasurable.

“Did none of the guys you were with do foreplay?” He asked, his hands continuing their ministrations.

“I-fuck- yes they did, it just never took this long,” you grunted against his lips.

“God, you have terrible taste in men.”

You wanted to let Bob know that he was now included in that group. But then his fingers hooked themselves around the band of your shorts, pulling them down. Had you known what tonight would entail, you would have opted for underwear that wasn't so worn. The long hairs on his arms tickled your sensitive skin as he moved to kneel on the floor, the cool basement air making you realize just how wet you were.

How could he do that so quickly?

He pinned your hips against the soft couch cushions. With anyone else, you would complain with how hard he was gripping your soft skin. But with Bob, you’d love it. It meant hand-shaped bruises that would stay after he left, reminding you of tonight.

When his sharp nose nudged your clothed slit, a loud gasp erupted from your mouth.

Thank god your parents were on vacation.

His tongue was so wide as it stroked the quickly dampening fabric. How was he able to find your clit so quickly? Most struggled to find it even after your panties had been taken off.

Bob couldn’t help but chuckle upon hearing your strained whimpers. You were practically squirming, hips erratically jerking with every touch.

“Wha-why did you stop?” You whined, looking down to find him staring up to you.

“Are you-I just need to know, do you still want this?” God, he was so fucking considerate. In any other moment, you’d find it endearingly sweet.

But if his tongue felt that good against your covered cunt, you were dying to feel it without the barrier.

“Robby, I swear to god, if you don’t eat me out, I’m going upstairs and using my vibrator,” Your voice was strained, your knuckles turning white from gripping the couch cushions.

He laughed. Bob knew you were bluffing. He had just gotten started and you were already so wet.

Slowly, he took his glasses off, placing them on the coffee table behind him, making a show of it.

“Won’t need those. I’m nearsighted after all.”

“You little-” The insult remained unsaid, as Bob pushed your underwear to the side, his mouth instantly latching onto your swollen clit.

His mouth was warm. The pressure wasn’t too much, just enough to make you wither in pleasure. It felt so good, so fucking good. When Bob looked up, he found your mouth open, despite no sounds coming out.

Good.

You deserved to know what it was like, to have someone care about your pleasure, to focus solely on making you feel incredible.

God, he could feel his cock throbbed. You looked so pretty with your eyes glazed over, mouth agape as you watched him, completely enthralled.

And he had just gotten started.

He wanted to do more than make you come, he wanted to blow your mind. Call it selfish, but Bob wanted to ruin you for anyone else. He had always held back his tongue when it came to the people you dated, knowing sooner or later you'd realized they weren't worth your time.

But now he had his chance and Bob sure as hell wasn't going to let it slip away.

The loud sound of fabric ripping broke you out of the pleasure filled haze you were in. Before you could make a sound about your now ripped underwear, your knees were pinned to your chest, giving Bob complete access to your soaked core.

“So fucking sweet,” He groaned against your cunt, sending vibrations all through your body, “Sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted.”

“Robby.”

To say Bob dreamed of hearing you moan his name would be the understatement of the fucking century.

Your whole body was on fire, unable to do anything else but take everything Bob was giving.

A resounding moan fell from your lips as Bob thrusted two fingers inside you, your walls struggling to accommodate the unexpected stretch.

Was he this thick elsewhere?

You wanted to find out. Wanted to feel it inside you, in your mouth. You shamelessly wanted it all. But you couldn’t even voice that because Bob was tracing figure eights on your clit, his fingers brushing against a spot you thought Cosmo had made up.

Fuck, he was doing a number on you. His soft hair threaded through your fingers as you gripped the strands. Your hips involuntarily jerked upwards, desperate to get as much of Bob as possible.

You kept expecting him to stop, considering you were wet enough for him to fuck you. That's what everyone else did.

But Bob Floyd wasn't like everyone else. Far from it.

He was fucking delighted to hear all the cute, strained noises coming from you as he continued. Each time you tugged on his hair, a groan would fall from his lips. It was the prettiest sound you had ever heard.

Why did either of you wait this long?

You tried to communicate, to let him know you were close, tugging on his hair, trying to move away from his mouth.

But Bob was deceivingly strong, using his free hand to pin your hip back to the couch, his mouth firmly on your pussy.

When you looked down, you were in awe of how blissed Bob looked. His eyes were closed as his mouth remained latched to your clit. The sounds of your own wetness were obscene, but barely audible over the moans Bob was letting out.

He really did enjoy it.

“Come. Wanna taste ya,” His voice was muffled as he added a third finger inside you.

Worried thoughts of coming on his face left your brain as pleasure coursed through your veins. Without any warning, the band that had been tightening came undone.

Bob used both hands to hold your hips firmly in place, his tongue lapping up your release.

You don't recall coming this hard or this long before. It wasn't a small wave, it felt like the whole damn ocean was taking you under.

His fingers continued to stretch you open, prolonging your high. The Navy was the perfect fit for him, considering he could apparently hold his breath for an impressive amount of time.

The soft fabric of the couch cushions brushed as the back of your head, your eyes half closed. You couldn't even voice an acknowledge when Bob’s mouth and fingers withdrew from your abused cunt.

“You're so pretty when you come,” Bob murmured, his lips brushing against yours.

Your hands tugged on the soft fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer.

“M-my turn,” you whined, hips jerking up towards his.

Bob shook his head, “Wanna be inside ya.”

How was this the same guy who feared clowns as a kid?

Before you could even question it, Bob had sat down on the couch, gripping your hips to help you straddle his lap. When had he taken off his jeans? How was he so quick-

Jesus Christ, he was huge.

“Fuck, she was right.”

Bob looked up from where you two were about to connect, a very confused look on his face, “Excuse me?”

“Betsey Thomas said you had a huge dick,” you confessed, wishing that you'd think before speaking for once.

Bob’s brows knitted together in confusion, “Betsey Thomas has never seen my dick, the fuck are you talking about?”

“Said she could tell you were packing because of the gym shorts you'd wear for PE class.” Bob signed, shaking his head as he muttered something about the required uniform.

“I….we can unpack this later-”

You snorted, “Why? Too busy packing here?”

Your laughter was cut short by Bob rubbing his cock against your soaked cunt. Memories of high school escaped your brain, the only thing you could focus on now was Bob and his huge dick.

Curious wasn't accurate. Frankly, you were desperate for him. Had been since middle school, if you were being truthful.

“Woah, hey. Easy baby, easy,” his voice made your thighs clench, made you whine into his shoulder as you tried to line your aching hole with his cock.

Finally, you felt him at your entrance. Slowly, he filled you up inch by inch. Every time you tried to urge him to go faster, Bob would simply shake his head before pressing a kiss against your cheek.

“Don't want to hurt ya darlin’.”

Darlin. You were his darlin.

He made you feel so full, and you didn't even have it all inside of you yet. All you could do was cling to him as he whispered praises in your ears.

Once you reached the base, it felt like you and Bob were the only ones in the world. At least, that’s what you pretended. It was better than thinking about how he would be gone for who knows how long after tonight. After boot camp was done, he would be off to train for the Navy.

Even he didn't know when he would return home.

It wasn't fair, finally expressing your feelings for one another just to be separated immediately after. You wanted him to stay, to go on dates with him, to visit him on the weekends when school started, just like everyone else in a long distance relationship.

“Hey, what's wrong? Do you- we can stop if you want, it's okay.” Bob’s voice was soft, full of concern.

His hand lifted your chin up from his shoulder, revealing your watery eyes.

“I don't want you to go.”

“I know,” his voice was barely a whisper, matching your volume. Long fingers gently traced over your face, as if he was trying to memorize them.

“I know it's horrible timing, but we'll figure it out, okay? I want to figure it out with you, I promise,” He peppered your face with soft kisses, earning a small smile out of you.

“But for now, can I make ya feel good? Because I'm willing to bet no guy has made you come while fucking ya.”

Unlike in the past, where Bob’s smartass comments earned him a shove, you pressed your lips against his.

“I'm gonna start moving now, okay?” Even though he warned you, nothing could have prepared you for how full Bob made you when his hips thrusted upwards.

“You're-fuck- you feel so good, oh my God.”

Your fingers tangled into Bob’s hair, trying to commit the feeling to memory.

Bob was trying to do the same, his hands roaming over your body as he took in your scent. Maybe if he asked nicely, you'd let him take a bottle of your perfume with him.

He was going to need it for the next few months.

Your mouth clashed against his, tongue desperate to taste him. Wandering hands desperate to feel everything everywhere.

“When-fuck- when I come back, wanna take you out. W-we can go to that Italian place by your school. The one where you have to wear a tie.” How Bob was able to talk coherently while fucking you was beyond comprehension.

The Navy will be lucky to have his great ability to multitask.

“Gonna bring ya flowers too. Sunflowers ‘cause they're-oh my god- you're favorite.” You didn't think you could recall your full name with the way Bob is thrusting into you, much less favorite things.

Your walls clench around Bob’s thick cock, eliciting a desperate groan from him, rather than the instant ejaculation you were used to.

“If you keep doing that, I'm gonna come,” Bob whined into the crook of your neck.

“That’s-shit- the point,” you grunted, your hips picking up speed.

Bob shook his head, “Need you to come first.”

Confusion caused you to still your hips, “Bob, I already-”

“Don't finish that sentence, don't you dare,” Bob ended his command with a strong thrust that made you feel as if he was splitting you open on his cock.

Your head dropped down to the crook of his neck. His skin was so warm and the smell of sage was nearly overwhelming. You knew exactly what body wash he had used, as it was the same one he wore ever since junior year, when you commented on how nice it was.

In hindsight, it was painfully obvious.

His lips found yours, capturing them in a desperate kiss. When you felt his fingers draw circles on your clit, you saw stars.

You didn't know it could feel this good with someone. This was more than a quick fuck, as you actually felt cared for. It was intense, the sensitivity of your first orgasm still echoing every time the thick head of his cock brushed against your walls.

It's audible how wet you are for Bob. He can feel it at the base of his cock, which makes him wonder what it would be like to have you on your knees, or better, your back, all spread out for him.

“C’mon sweet girl,” he’s panting, voice desperate and raspy, “Wanna-fuck! Wanna feel you come s’bad, please, please baby.”

Each circle drawn on your clit causes the band in your stomach to tighten. Combined with Bob’s words, you knew you wouldn't last much longer.

“You're incredible, shit, I-fuck. All yours. Wanna be all yours. Fuck fuck fuck, clenching me so hard, fuck, don't stop.” Obscene was not a word many, if any, would use to describe Bob Floyd.

Up until thirty minutes ago, you would have considered yourself part of that group.

But now? Now you were falling apart on his cock. The rush of pleasure had hit like a brick, coursing through your veins. It hit harder than anything else, harder than the now banned alcohol caffeine combo drink, or any controlled substance doctors had prescribed to help you focus.

His finger-fuck, usually you had to use two of your own- didn’t stop rubbing your clit, nor does he stop thrusting in and out of your pulsing cunt. It's almost as if-no, you know Bob’s enjoying making you feel euphoria.

That's what blows your mind. His laser focus on your pleasure, rather than his own. Truthfully, he could have come already and you wouldn't have thought twice about it.

But now it was all you could think about. How much he cared, how good he felt. How incredible it was for him to pull your hips flushed against his, filling you to the brim with his cock.

“Holy shit you're so tight-I, sh-should I pull out?”

Instead of answering, you used all your strength to rock your hips against him. Considering he made you come twice, the least you could do was help him find his release.

Your fingers gripped his hair, tugging on the strands as your mouth clashed against his.

The downright guttural groan he releases against your mouth has you clamping down on his cock. The motion finally leads to Bob’s undoing, causing him to come deep inside you, warmth flooding your body.

His arms are wrapped around your body, clinging onto you as if he thinks you'll disappear if he lets go.

You’d be a damn fool to.

The basement is now quiet, apart from the heavy breathing coming from both you and Bob.

After several minutes pass by, you gather the courage to break the silence, “Did you mean all that? Taking me out on a date and being mine?”

Bob’s cheek burned a bright red as he timidly nodded his head, “I….yeah. I didn't mean to say it when we were, you know. I'm sorry.”

You pressed a reassuring kiss to his warm cheek, “Robby, what do you feel the need to apologize for?”

He looked up to you, those earnest blue eyes sparkling, “Shit timing?”

“You're not wrong about that, but like you said earlier, I want to work it out with you.” Your words brought comfort, giving Bob the confidence to place a sweet kiss right on your lips. His smile was burning into yours, causing your stomach to flutter.

“I know it's not that Italian restaurant, but can I take you out to breakfast tomorrow?”

The local diner had been a go-to since y'all were thirteen. But this time would be different. This time you wouldn't feel the urge to look away when he caught you staring. This time neither one would correct the waitress when she'd make a comment about y'all being a cute couple.

The soft call of your name pulled you out of your thoughts.

“Uh can I….eat you out again? Tomorrow obviously! Like before we go to the diner?”

Good Lord this man was going to be the death of you.

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