#why does everyone treat me like shit | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ratatatastic · 24 days ago

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absolutely cackling at the idiot4idiot of them and poor benny having to deal with this catholic school omega bless his heart!! bobby’s “captain’s nice but not that nice” killed me because like. that’s so correct thank u can’t wait to see him be “not that nice”. in this au, i do also wanna consider lundy with a massive massive heart eyes crush on maffhew bc that’s adorable. and would be hilarious if maffhew catches onto that faster than he catches on to sasha’s end of things. every euro’s eye twitches in judgement

the more that gets added to this au the funnier it fucking gets truly like lets make it sooooooooooo much messier yeah babes lets really ramp it up i love the energy we're creating in the room right now

you spend your heat with your captain ONCE and you know all his secrets is all im saying... something about a terribly sweet man who makes sure not to be overbearing with his status/size/etc who will throw his weight around liberally if he's gone enough... bobby knows a little too well of how not nice cappy can be... or so the tale goes...

i was hoping someone was finally gonna ask about lundy so i can talk about baby alpha lundy in relation to the sashamatthew because oh BOY when i say everyone is fucking everyone i meant it oh god i meant it

lundy's really whipped for the tall bratty omega that pushes him around (luosty) but also have you considered that as a baby alpha new to the league, you've been confronted with the longstanding idea that alphas cannot be in the same pack unless there's bitching involved (which there are other ways to assert dominance that does not involve knotting an alpha like holding them down and biting their neck until they stop fighting would do the trick for most alphas who aren't super territorial but you know hockey league and everything I'm sure its a "this is the quickest and simplest solution lets nip it in the bud before it becomes a problem (insert the many amount of incidents that caused such a consensus to be made)" so it becomes embroiled in tradition but it does have the adverse effect of being a lot of As inadvertent awakenings as hockey is wont to do

anyways walk with me, youre a baby alpha and trying not to psych yourself out about whats about to happen, its your first knot and the only one youll have to take in your life (or so it goes) and then youre home-free. Sasha treats you sweetly because hes been in your position before he doesnt want this to be a terrible experience but somehow that makes it 10 times worse because hes treating you something like a lover when you're literally bent over a table in a random staff room in the bowels of the stadium with your gym shorts by your knees and none of this is supposed to be in anyway tender or sexy its supposed to be practical and methodical, a "lets get it over with and never think about it ever again" but sasha keeps checking in, soothing and gentling you when he notices you tense up as he preps you, warns you when his knot is starting to form and tells you to just breathe through it and when you inevitably start crying at the sheer size of it, of how overwhelming it is—which is already embarrassing enough in the presence of your pack leader—he just starts pressing against you more and you feel the rumble more than you hear it because hes purring and chat is it normal to pop a knot because your captain is fucking his own knot into you and also purring to calm you down like your one one of his omegas. no lundys never living this down. no sasha is also never letting him live it down when he finally realises whats happened because despite his knot finally going down lundy is still a little too eerily still on the table. this is the part where he limps off and nurses his own ego and sasha nudges at him till he finally turns over and well. thats new. and unexpected. and definitely something to nurse your ego over (he likes to bring it up when lundy's being mouthy like he isnt still just a pup because it shuts him up pretty effectively and sasha's favourite activity is bullying lundy yeah)

so you take your first knot, kinda really liked it and also guess what youre living in your pack leaders house (to be mentored, also because fellow countryman) as a double whammy so you can imagine what lundys first week after the knot-ining™ is like... very much a puppy tucking their tail between their legs…

The thing they don’t tell you after being knotted as an Alpha is the after. The after is so much worse than the before and definitely a lot better than the during—but resolutely a pretty resounding worse.

The before is pacing around the sterile staff room, sweat breaking out of every pore of your skin, trying to wrestle down the nervous yipping that’s desperately forming in his chest—Anton’s not a puppy anymore—and listening for the footsteps that are sure to come soon enough down that hall.

The during is when the only thing you have to focus on is the large foreign intrusion that has your hackles rising but your Captain gave you a choice; either you stay still on your own volition or he has to help you out stay still. He said it without a single ounce of judgement, a peace offering if you will—like he’s done it so many times before, holding down big Alphas by the neck while he feeds them his cock, knots them until they become passive again. It’s already enough that Anton was on his stomach because he didn't think he could bear looking Sasha in the eye while he—you know... but it does mean his brain is making all sorts of connections he shouldn't be making at a time like this, and they don’t because before long every single thought just becomes big, big, so big. Anton doesn't have the time or space to even remotely think about the implications that come with it, just that it’s happening.

The after…

Not much has changed in the after, there's no new hints to Sasha's scent that Anton can parse out (like so many Omegas have gushed to him about before), there’s no throbbing at his neck because Sasha hasn’t marked him (this wasn’t a romantic throe of passion, it was a simple means to an end, of course Sasha didn’t bite him), and there’s no… bond…

Perhaps that’s the part that has him particularly… off.

He walks through Sasha’s house like he’s haunting it. He’s surrounded by his scent, the cardamom that was overwhelming the first night he came home with Sasha after the… event that has him limping along a lot more than usual… it smells unobtrusive. He knows he should feel skittish being so deep in Sasha’s territory for lack of a better word, but, well, taking a knot does that to a guy. It’s not soothing, not yet at least, but it could be. It’s going to be—because this is his pack leader.

When his pack leader joins him in the kitchen, where Anton has been staring holes into the cabinets for the better part of minutes letting every single thought pass through him in waves, he doesn’t so much as bristle when Sasha brushes past him. When he bumps his shoulder, Anton feels a need to lean into the touch, and he does.

The surprised huff of laughter Sasha makes isn't mean spirited, it’s filled with so much delight it has Anton going practically boneless next to him, trying to get closer to the source of it.

“Move. You’re in the way,” Sasha shoves at him, breathy giggles pouring out of him when Anton doesn’t do that. “I need tea, move.”

Anton decidedly does not grumble but it’s a close thing that he doesn’t when he has to peel off enough Sasha so he can access the tins of tea he has in his cupboard. He’s sure he’s not supposed to be acting like this; the Alpha in him is quiet, still, breathless and waiting. Doesn’t know whether to roll over, wiggling playfully as he shows off his soft underbelly or puff up, snapping his jaws that he’s being herded around, that another Alpha is pushing him around.

It’s a good thing he doesn’t have to think about it though, because Sasha is here—he’s pack leader, he’ll decide whether this’ll become a problem or not. Whether Anton should be acting like this or not.

anyways i need to establish that background because it makes everything else really funny i promise. so congrats your mooning over your captain because he took your knot virginity, and also hes just a great individual you really admire and want to be like, hes taken you under his wing and treats you something like a little brother which is—which makes trying to not think of the knot-ining™ and distancing yourself away from it easier, and you do for the most part and you think you have it under control i mean its been years its fine its very easy to willfully ignore attraction for admiration

and entering from stage left is the fun flirty omega who clearly has thing for sasha too whos also your stall-mate and whether its because lundy is easily susceptible to gaining huge admiration crushes on anything that breathes (yes obviously) or because maffhew really is just that charming (also yes) he does imprint on him in the same way when you havent realised youre bi yet and you have a crush on this girl and then you find she has boyfriend and then you see her with the boyfriend and realise oh god hes hot too and you end up crushing on them as a couple instead

And maffhew being maffhew when it doesnt involve his own feelings does notice that the alpha next to him as been giving him looks, stares at his neck when he thinks he can get away with it, turns away quickly in a nervous fluster when matthew gives him a coy smile that says I caught you. Like what you see?

maffhew love messing with lundy a little too much, likes cooing at him after a good game, likes ruffling his hair messing it up in ways lundy protests about but can’t do much when it’s maffhew doing it. And lundy’s cute of course he is, it’s endearing to have an alpha this obvious in their interest (cue sighing from everyone involved in this clown show) and well maybe matthew doesn’t do anything to stop it either, maybe makes it worse actually. leaves his equipment strewn about so it spills over to lundys stall because he's messy of course theres a nuclear spill of cinnamon on lundy's side and suspiciously not on bennys, maybe he's more obnoxious when he leads warmup stretches in practise, makes sure he's not facing lundy so he can get a good look of the view of him on his knees—it certainly does help lundy is always next to sasha so if they both get a nice look well maffhew considers it killing two birds with one stone, its just efficient.

the euros of course see this and stare at lundy like "you. you are the problem" except when luosty says it hes cackling with delight, losing his absolutely shit at the mess lundy has managed to get himself involved with

and im not saying two giggling omegas is a cause for concern but lundy does start sweating profusely when he sees matthew and luosty getting a little too buddy buddy after practise because luosty knows him a little too well and nothing but trouble can come from that.

And if youre wondering what sasha is feeling about matthew getting cozy with lundy like oh hes feeling jealous—no, its a “I’m so glad matthew has TWO alphas on this team he can turn to if he needs to it makes me happy hes integrating himself so well into our pack even if it means he doesnt turn to me for dynamic reasons because it is not my place to encroach on a omega’s free will to choose how they spend their heats because that’s a dangerous line of thought and as pack leader i respect all members of my pack as long as their decisions dont pose a risk to our pack as a whole :)”

“Why isn’t he jumping my bones by now!?” Matthew whines out for the millionth time this week it seems.

Sam remains quiet for a bit, watching as Matthew makes a mess of his couch rolling about it like he is, before he opens his mouth, “I feel like you would benefit so much from a college level Introduction to Dynamics Studies class.”

“Yeah, what makes you say that?”

“No reason. Just that there’s a community college downtown that I drove by this morning. They’re offering classes, you know.”

“Hey, man, I appreciate the shout, I do. But can we, like, stay on topic?”

“No, yeah, of course, I get it. Let’s go back to Sasha not being attracted to your very fertile and breedable pheromones you’ve been sending out like a billboard in the middle of the desert that it’s honestly a miracle you haven’t been pupped up by now.”

“Thank you.” Matthew says gratefully before he pauses, eyes narrowing, “I have a feeling you’re being a little bitchy about this.”

“I’m always bitchy.” Sam snorts.

“Correction. More bitchy than usual.” Matthew stares at Sam for a bit before his lips quirk up, the startings of that shit-eating grin he always has on his face making an appearance, “What? Don’t tell me you’re jealous? Aww, Benny! Babe, you’re always my first choice in As. I didn’t think I needed to say it but maybe I should more often if you’re—”

“Matthew. Shut up.”

“No, no, maybe my very fertile and breedable pheromones will soothe your bruised Alpha ego.”

The “Fuck off,” levels at Matthew doesn’t have the effect it should because he’s laughing, the words chased by giggles. It doesn’t help that Matthew’s already trying to wriggle onto his lap while Sam halfheartedly tries to shove him off.

“Let me soothe you, Alpha!” Matthew’s moaning it in the same way those cheesy 80s VHS pornos think is remotely sexy and not just a boner killer. He’s making his voice reedy and saccharine sweet to really sell the image all while he’s grabbing at the back of Sam’s head to push it into his neck.

“You’re such a dick.” It’s mumbled as shoved into his neck as Sam is.

“Yeah, well, you are too.” Matthew chirps like it's a complement. And to him—to both of them it is.

…

“You know I love you, right?”

Sam sighs, “Yeah. Love you too.”

#ask #luosty making things worse for lundy does also have the effect of making things worse for sasha btw #this is why hes so on board with all of this if not to mess with both of them simultaneously its really a 2for1 here #Os supporting Os in their efforts of driving their As crazy #i hope you know luosty does teach maffhew a few dubious finnish phrases and sashas self imposed 6 month deadline #gets shortened by a single day which is a feat in enough itself considering how stubborn sasha is #sasha is also currently in pack alpha mode which is why his own personal feelings dont have much influence on his decisions #but like trust me we will get to not nice sasha shes a coming like dw shes there she needs some time though #we also have to state sasha doesnt feel particularly threatened by any of this because its pack he trusts his pack he loves his pack #and also its lundy like how much can the puppy that was hanging off your knot and crying about it so cutely really threaten you?#sumn sumn there is pride in being an alphas first knot as pack leader sumn sumn corruption kink sumn sumn #for the record when everyone finally gets their shit together maffhew does treat lundy like a glorified knot toy yeah #likes to talk about sasha while hes riding lundy because it does drive both of them crazy because maffhew never shuts up #whatever comes out of his mouth is a stream of conscious that has no filter whatsoever so if he drops a baby barky here and there #a comparison of how lundy doesnt stretch him out enough like sasha does #that lundy must know that too with the whole knot-ining™#we can get so much mileage out of baby barky #we can get so much mileage out of lundy finally coming to terms that he does want to get bitched because we have a forsy and we have a sash #this pack is so messy its so funny to me #the pack is all fucking each other and that includes the finns

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mechahero · 2 months ago

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@asurastro asked- I think a Fanon Lambda just gets traits added on every other week/month or something. Not even in a multiverse way just the same mainverse Lambda getting heaped with details that aren't accurate. Fandom infighting results because they're confident Lambda would cheat on a partner vs grant pardons to everyone who's ever committed wrongdoing against Motor City. Tell me what the “fanon” interpretation of my OC if they were a canon character would be (accepting!)

//Oh too true. People adding traits to a character and then treating those traits as if they are canon and getting into fights because someone else points out that that's not something a character does/would do happens a lot in fandoms. So for Lambda to get hit with the random roulette so frequently... I can only imagine massive, insult laden fights and people shouting down other people rightfully pointing out that he wouldn't do (insert trait/thing that is way way out of his wheelhouse).

A lot of it would probably also stem from the fandom outright ignoring how he would hate, to use your example here, cheating. Or, tied in with that, ignoring something pre-established for something that likely won't make complete sense with him. Which yes, it's having fun and what not but there comes a point where it would better off being made an AU or a different verse instead of tacking it onto a main verse and getting pissed at people when they don't go along with it.

Tl;dr it would be a mess lmao.

#//insult laden is kind of a stretch but wouldn't put it past some people given that well that does happen sometimes #//i hope this isn't too word salad-y or nonsensical rambling #//but giving him different personalities (at least that's how i see it) and then getting mad when someone else isn't also treating him like #//-a piece of shit for behaving a certain way or doing (insert thing he did in fanart/fanfic here) would be kind of dumb!#//i mean it's already dumb imo! but you get what i mean right?#//one can only imagine how fricking confusing it would be too lol! like just make it its own verse! it would be so much easier for everyone #//the lambda tag would be straight up hellish i fear #why are you botherin' me? {answered memes}#backup log {ooc}#asurastro

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xoshepard · 4 months ago

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fucking vindication man

my sister was just minding her business in the basement eating breakfast and my stepdad came down and asked "why do you have the light on" and she was like "so i can see?" and the thing about my stepdad is that he's incapable of softening his tone (and will pretend he doesnt understand that his tone is aggressive even though he can understand when YOUR tone is aggressive/rude) so even an innocuous question like that sounds like an attack, so my sister's response was also super subdued and irritated. this isn't the first time an exchange like that has happened but it was the first time that he kinda hesitated and was like "wait what did i just say that upset you?" and she started to speak like she was going to explain, then thought better of it and just said "it's nothing"

LIKE YEAH DUDE. WHEN YOU CREATE AN ENVIRONMENT WHERE PEOPLE FEEL LIKE THEY CONSTANTLY HAVE TO EXPLAIN THEMSELVES TO YOU AND AT THE SAME TIME THEY CAN'T BE COMFORTABLE BRINGING UP THINGS YOUVE DONE OR SAID TO UPSET THEM WITHOUT YOU JUST ARGUING WITH THEM TO JUSTIFY HOW THEYRE WRONG FOR BEING UPSET AND YOUVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG, THEN PEOPLE ARENT GONNA FUCKIN TALK TO YOU. ITS SO SIMPLE.

#i think he was trying to ask whats wrong bc my mom is pissed at him and my sister doesnt like to talk to him so much lately #and obviously he and i have zero conversations #so the house rn for him is just 'ENEMIES EVERYWHERE' fhskdhdj #see what he doesnt understand about my sister #shes young so it still seems like she'll bounce back whenever you hurt her #and since hes allergic to apologizing he just assumes he can say whatever tf he wants to her and their core relationship won't suffer #especially bc in his mind he's doing everything jn the name of her success or whatever #but she already treats him differently than she does everyone else #hes always punishing her for 'getting an attitude' with him but she literally doesnt give attitude to anyone else #he thinks he can helicopter her AND try to force her to suppress her emotions and she'll just be like 'well im grateful bc i wouldnt be #successful without him let me continue sharing my life with him like nothing is wrong'#he doesnt get how deep a child's resentment of their parent can run #and hes so fucking proud he doesn't take any parenting advice from my mom bc he hates me #even though she does have experience raising a child #he thinks hes a better parent than her and wont even try to learn from her mistakes #bc im not a millionaire at 31 #tirah talks #but what he doesn't get is that he either needs to learn to say sorry #or come to terms w the fact that when she grows up she's gonna fuck off permanently #their generations kept ties w their parents no matter what shit they pulled #but our generations don't do that shit #my mom knows how to apologize and she knows how to learn from her mistakes and that's why she's the ONLY parent in my life #he needs to get his shit together or my sister will be the same as me

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ennuidays · 7 months ago

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😂😂 so like 😂😂😂😂😂 when am i going to get the instructions for making friends and talking to people everyone else got 😂😂 its a little late 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

#Whyd rhey have to make this human connection shit so hard . Why doesnt anyone care abourt what i care about #how come everyone else can hold conversations about nothing without getting bored and i cant .#how come i feel like im receiving automated responses. i feel like my interactions are all surface level #whh doesnt anyone seem as interested in anything as i do . Why do i feel like im being judged for indulging in my interests #how come when i say something it doesnt feel like anyone is sayi g anything back . Why do my friends turn my sentences into filler .#why does it feel like im in the middle of a hivemind and i dont know it . why does it feel like its all computer generated .#why can everyone else talk and laugh and converse withoit trouble but when its my turn everyone treats it like an obligation #nobody wants to watch what i wsnt to. nobody wants to listen to what i want to. nobody wants to talk about what i want to.#And if they just go along with what i wsnt to do im just wasting their time . we wont even talk about it . theres no expression .#i hate enjoying mhself when nobody else is. and i hate when others are enjoying themselves without me #but apparently im not a part of 'together'#how come even in small social circles nobody is treated equally . Whh does preference come into it.#Man. whatever.

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fallowtail · 1 year ago

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i try not to let it get to me but the knowledge i am always going to be The Stupid One in every situation i’m in just…really, really sucks. sigh. oh well. i stay silly :3c

#cant even blame it on being audhd because everyone else i know who is #is smart and talented and their brains work alright �� i'm just stupid and incapable #i feel like i’m the only person out there who does not get to experience any of the benefits or joys of these things #for me it is nothing but brain damage and endless suffering with no brightside or intelligence or anything #but then everyone tells me i’m the bad guy because if there was a magic button that would make me not audhd i would click it immediately #like why am i wrong for not wanting to suffer #everyone else seems to have a special interest or a fixation and they can remember information about those things but i...dont. i can't. LO #i do not experience the autistic joy everyone else talks about. i dont have the adhd focusing on what you like superpowers or whatever #my autism made me barely pass highschool and i couldnt handle community college and i had to drop out and i can barely handle having #an entry level job that everyone patronizes me about #i'm barely verbal and i am losing my ability to function to brainfog and everyone around me treats me like i'm their little pet idiot #but wanting to change that about myself makes me evil and bad or something i guess #sorry to whine on tumblr like the good old days but twitter is sick of my shit LOL 😭#pmdd making me spiral worse than usual #one of those times where i'm realizing that if everyone else experiences these things totally different from me than maybe that was never #what was wrong with me in the first place lol. maybe i dont have an explanation and i'm back to being 10 15 19 24 sobbing wondering why im #like this. why i'm so stupid. not even in a self hating way in a legitimately proven way that i am functioning below average intelligence.#ok im done sorryyyyy god i forgot how good tumblr is to vent on #z

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doodlboy · 1 year ago

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Om tag ramble

#my hate 4 solomon is festering bc of that post bc its infuriating that #every1 was so scandalized that he was doing shady shit 2 lucifer from before but bc its asmo suddenly its okay #like- he's fine as a character ig but im tired of the hypocrisy in this fandom. if you're gonna b pissed off at him dr*gging lucifer #then be angry at him taking advantage of asmo while he was drunk too. its bullshit #ik hes a fictional character and its not a real issue but come the fuck on #its also bs that suddenly theyre all scary demonic demons who are evil and need to be contained and controlled #bc one second ppl are treating them like just some guy but when they need to make excuses for why bad things happen #to the characters its all 'well they're bad people sometimes and they're strong demons so its okay to treat them like shit'#its not. absolutely fucking not okay.#suddenly they deserve to have their basic rights taken away from them bc they do bad shit sometimes.#idc if theyre not your favorite character or what species they are or if they aren't a good person 24/7 NOONE should get taken advantage of #like- im more angry about the hypocrisy than i am the actual game content now. solomon does shady shit all the time #but when its done 2 golden boy lucifer its a fucking outrage for everyone #but when its asmo hes suddenly this violent hostile murderous creature that should be chained down or tamed #its just fucking UGHHHH #im not putting this in the main tag bc im not gonna have 10 different ppl tell me im fucking stupid for being upset abt this again.#elliot rambles #rant in the tags

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cherrydott · 2 years ago

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Not wealthy enough for the Mid Life Crisis and also life is unpredictable so I will be having an ongoing crisis

#why is allergy medicine like that #claritin smoking crack if they think im being robbed $25 for half the amount that id get of the generic for like $15 get real babe #dont mind me this is just the my bday is approaching and it is always accompanied with dread post #not necessarily afraid of aging just of the other things that happen like car maintenance and the general state of the world #i never feel Great on my birthday yknow #i started new meds so i can blame every weird feeling on those for the time being #yeah sorry im just the exact age where junior and senior year got screwed up by covid and now im almost 20 so!!! fuck! lmao #2003 babies deserve free therapy i THINK #actually everyone does but whatever #and i wonder why the top of my head is thinning. maybe bc feels like yesterday i barely graduated with some gifted burnout spice #and now today shit is too expensive at the store!! im living little treat to little treat over here #'hurr dur if those kids stopped buying starbucks every day' no sir i cant afford that but what i Can afford is popsicles so i stay alive #thank you very much #something about not having a lot of cash makes a bitch feel overly guilty about buying snacks i swear

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timeisacephalopod · 1 year ago

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Lol out of curiosity I looked up my old job on Indeed and yes they ARE urgently hiring for the position and if I didn't get treated like dog shit for expecting a stress free work environment with reasonable expectations and not wildly cunty management who seemed to be under the impression they were doing THE most important job at THE most important store ever maybe I wouldn't have just not shown up one day 🤷🏻‍♀️ asshole thing to do to my poor coworkers but I didn't even have the energy to quit right after spending a month and a half feeling deeply surveilled at every aspect of my job lest I get another frivolous writeup no one else got for doing their jobs worse than me so fine. You want me gone enough to threaten my livelihood and SHRUG when I point out I have rent to pay, fine, but I wouldn't put up with that behavior from anyone in my life generally and I LIKE those people so my JOB pulling bullshit? Oh hell no, if I wouldn't take it from people I CHOOSE to be around on purpose I ain't taking shit from a fucking JOB. I refuse to be in a work environment that's unaware it's a GROCERY STORE, not a 5 star establishment frequented exclusively by world leaders or some shit. Like Sam, my job is cooking food at a fucking sobeys and you're acting as if I'm disarming bombs it's so important get reasonable priorities and standards for employees and then apply them equally to managers and not EXCLUSIVELY minimum wage staff 🙄

Which is funny because my new job everyone seems surprised with how fast I've caught on to stuff down to a coworker yesterday telling me he thought I worked in a shoppers prior to the pharmacy I'm in because Im catching on so quick. This isn't unusual for me either, some time in the last five or so years I've found every workplace I'm at I end up being heavily relied on because I'm good at my job, so fucking sucks to suck for sobeys because it took me some week or so to be consistently praised for being better at the job than the guy I replaced only for them to throw that out because they think management should be able to do whatever the fuck they want while they shove minimum wage staff under a fucking microscope to ensure they're doing their shit right and even that isn't consistent. They punished me exclusively because I did not lay down to be treated as a door mat and dished the treatment I got handed. If you treat me like shit I WILL treat you the way you treat me, no worse, and sometimes a little better because I don't lose my moral standards in that treatment either. Just because I'm being an ass doesn't mean I'm willing to do whatever the fuck, just enough to ensure that the person who's decided I'm their new plaything knows that'll be going both ways so fuck off. I've never had a job so willing to keep on shit management they had at LEAST a dozen meetings with regarding performance and I was the one who got punished for being frustrated about that. But I will take a new significantly less stressful job 🙌🏻

#winters ramblings #anyway theyre “urgently hiring” and if they listened when the fuck i told them i was so stressed i was clenching my fists #so hard in my sleep my hands would be DEAD STIFF and locked in place in the morning and required me to carefully massage them #and exercise the muscles and even then my hands still hurt. i told them ive been throwing up from stress AND i told them i was job hunting #because this was all bullshit. they KNEW where i was at and they should have listened but they didnt so fine #fuck me around 17 ways to sunday teo can play at that game and i didnt come here to be involved in a game at all #but force me onto that fucking biard then dont get mad when i flip it and walk away #im a grown assed adult i have no patience for workplaces that don't understand youre not a fucking slave #and the workplace isnt something Extremely Important And Special its a cucking GROCERY STORE and i wasnt even workinh #one if the jobs that DOES absolutely make a grocery store necessary i made fucking hot food everyone treated as Top Notch Shit #when ut was frozen boxed chicken strips and ut us INSULTING to me to teach me HOW to cook fucking BOXED FOOD #and NO i did bot take that “”“too personally”“' while they were trying to ”improve“ store standards #its fucking BOXED CHICKEN STRIPS guys why the fuck are we treating it like ROCKET SCIENCE??!?#i dont actually think its unreasonable to be angry your manager cannot even trust you to make food from a fucking BOX #without a chef coming in and treating you like some kind of idiot whohas never made a food in my LIFE despite #me cooking a lot more complicated shit at home on a regular basis. give me a fucking BREAK acting as if #it was StOrE sTaNdArD changes or whatever do YOU nit understand boxed food isnt HARD to make or do you need that explained #to you?? like i take shit too personally no YOU have unreasonable standards for EXCLUSIVELY your lowest wage staff #and im NOT bring held to a higher working standard than MANAGEMENT

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tortademaracuya · 1 year ago

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love being reminded by the "bestie" that keeps being close friends with all the girls that treated me like shit about the other friend not from that group that also treated me like shit and tried to convince others to leave me

#and she talked like it was such a pity i didnt want to try anymore to 'fix' things. i never had a problem with her #she just woke up one day and decided i was shit and deserved no friends while acting like nothing was wrong when i asked #and i didnt even learn she was talking shit until years later!!!#if she doesnt think that was messed uo what does she even think of how their grouo of friends treated me...?#i knew it was being too good a day :/ always end up finding some stupid comment that makes me feel like shit #woooo im unloveable and everyone will end up hating me sooner or later wooooooooo #maybe shes right and both that and the other Incident werent anything and im being an idiot about it #why does it even matter. they were right and its my problem for getting sad that they were saying what a horrible person i am #maybe its true and my presence does ruin everything for everyone. i should just stay home and never go out again #sigh #haunted.txt #maybe its all my fault for not trying hard enough ti earn forgiveness #even though i embarrassed myself so many times to do so and it was her shit friends that kept treating me like garbage #even after saying they forgave me and refusing to give me any apologies

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applecherry108 · 2 years ago

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I’ve been wounded by a tiktok. Well, I’ve had wound reopened but a tiktok.

Basically, a critique of a family prank video in which a husband pretends he’s destroyed his wife’s possessions, but not really. And the critique boils down to “Your panic and distress should never be the punchline to any joke or prank ever.”

When I was in college, my first year, pokemon soul silver came out. And I loved that game. I spent over 100 hours on it the first month alone and was deeply attached to my team.

I found out the following year, that one guy in the friend group had been planning, colluding with my other friends, to get a reset copy of the game and switch it out with my copy so I’d think all my data had been erased.

The entire friend group knew.

And only a single one of them stopped and said “hey, that’s fucked up actually.”

So this guy didn’t go through with it.

And I found out about his plan, while I was dating him my second year. At the dinner table. With the rest of the friend group. Who admitted that yeah, that almost happened and they were just going to go along with it.

I was fucking shocked and devastated just hearing what almost happened. This was over 10 years ago and I’m still traumatized by the thought of it.

What I hate most though, was that even after hearing this fucked up plan that would’ve fully sent me into a meltdown during finals week, I still kept dating that guy for nearly a year. I still kept all those friends who would’ve betrayed me throughout the rest of college.

And maybe part of me wishes they had gone through with it, just so I could’ve cut all those assholes out of my life way sooner, because that guy was still abusive and cruel. He didn’t change. My friends were still heartless and careless with me, and none of them even attempted to keep in touch after graduation.

My distress is not a fucking punchline, and the fact that every single friend I had in college except one was complicit in making it the punchline, is a scar that I don’t think will ever heal.

#that shithead purposefully upset me repeatedly and it wasn’t even until after I dumped him that his ex clarified #that he gets off to upsetting his girlfriends. like.#had I known I was autistic a decade ago…#I made the mistake of keep giving everyone the benefit of the doubt bc surely no one is that cruel. surely my FRIENDS aren’t that terrible.#but they are. they were. and at 32 my mom still recounts how basically every friend I’ve ever had has treated me terribly despite me bending #over backwards for them.#it’s no wonder I spend so much time online. ever since like 2004 probably.#the only nice people I’ve known have all been online bc shocker!#we’re all queer and neurodivergent and it’s infinitely easier for us to communicate through writing than talking #shithead McFuckFace apparently said a lot of fucked up shit about me before and while we were dating.#that the rest of our friends just. never bothered to tell me about.#anyways. I’ve been angry and overstimulated all day and now I have a horrible headache #love being retraumatized over and over by the same fuc #fucking things. 🙃 definitely makes my current situation so much easier. 🙃🙃#definitely does not make me wanna yeetus deletus myself from fucking existence. 🙃🙃🙃#and I just gave my cats their flea meds so I can’t snuggle with them fuckkkkk my emotional support kittens why u gotta have fleassss 😭😭😭#apple talks #to the tune of spam

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