#i think he was trying to ask whats wrong bc my mom is pissed at him and my sister doesnt like to talk to him so much lately

[xoshepard]

fucking vindication man

my sister was just minding her business in the basement eating breakfast and my stepdad came down and asked "why do you have the light on" and she was like "so i can see?" and the thing about my stepdad is that he's incapable of softening his tone (and will pretend he doesnt understand that his tone is aggressive even though he can understand when YOUR tone is aggressive/rude) so even an innocuous question like that sounds like an attack, so my sister's response was also super subdued and irritated. this isn't the first time an exchange like that has happened but it was the first time that he kinda hesitated and was like "wait what did i just say that upset you?" and she started to speak like she was going to explain, then thought better of it and just said "it's nothing"

LIKE YEAH DUDE. WHEN YOU CREATE AN ENVIRONMENT WHERE PEOPLE FEEL LIKE THEY CONSTANTLY HAVE TO EXPLAIN THEMSELVES TO YOU AND AT THE SAME TIME THEY CAN'T BE COMFORTABLE BRINGING UP THINGS YOUVE DONE OR SAID TO UPSET THEM WITHOUT YOU JUST ARGUING WITH THEM TO JUSTIFY HOW THEYRE WRONG FOR BEING UPSET AND YOUVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG, THEN PEOPLE ARENT GONNA FUCKIN TALK TO YOU. ITS SO SIMPLE.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for not giving someone the wifi password and not telling my parents about it when they asked?

this happened a while ago and ik it sounds trivial but i feel so damn guilty and i just need to know if i did something wrong (fake names used ofc)

so about seven or eight months ago a friend of mine (liz, 16f at the time, now 17) was brought to our house. child protection services had taken her and her two brothers (they're all adopted, but one of the boys is her biological brother, who i'll call james) from their parents because the boys did something to their neighbor's dogs and were found wandering all over town at night. i'm not sure exactly what as i've never been told, but i deeply suspect it was something sexual. i'm not sure. about a week before this, my friend's dogs were brought over here, again because cps wanted them removed.

so my friend is now staying with me (16f) and my twin sister sister (anna). we have a large "closet" that is really more of an attic than anything, so we put liz in there because our house is small and we didn't want her sleeping on the couch.

for about a month, things went pretty well. we had a good time! we hung out a lot, and she told me about some volunteer firefighting she did, and also some farming stuff she did with her adoptive uncle (this is important for later). but she had a secret cellphone (her parents weren't big on cellphones and they were kinda strict) that she used to do social media behind their backs. most importantly, she was talking to an older guy (axel, 28m) via snapchat. anna and i have autism and adhd and are kinda clueless about some things, so we didn't think it was such a big deal at the time. so when she asked for the wifi password, i thought nothing of it. one day when my mom asked if she had a phone, i told her no bc liz asked me not to tell my parents and i thought being loyal to her was the right thing

well, one day, liz found her biological family via facebook and started contacting them

from what little i've heard, liz and james were taken from their bio parents because the mom was an alcoholic and doing drugs, and the dad was abusing them. they never visited the kids once. but now this mom is telling liz that she wants the kids back, and because of this, liz really wanted to go back to her bio family, even though they lived in another state that was pretty far away.

so she goes up to my mom and tries to talk to her about it. also, cps came by again and said liz couldn't sleep in the room she'd been sleeping in anymore because it had no windows and thus no fire escape. and my mom found out about the phone and the older guy she was talking to. things finally got so stressful that my parents had to have liz moved to another home about an hour away

now here's why i think i was the asshole. apparently, liz had been lying to me A LOT. she never actually did the firefighting work (she did some cooking for them. that's it) and when she said she knew how to milk a cow, she actually didn't know how, AND THEN WENT ON TO MILK OUR COW ANYWAY. IN FRONT OF MY DAD. it was insane and it made anna and i freak out because we have a hard time making friends sue to previous bullying issues at a school we'd gone to

later on i overheard my mom telling my dad that she was afraid that the bio parents were trying to groom her or something, and they didn't know i'd heard that. so now i'm afraid that i'm responsible for my friend leaving and all that. also, since she's left, liz has gone on to refuse to go back to her adoptive parents and has basically made their lives hell. and she keeps getting james upset by trying to convince him into thinkking that he should want to go back to the bio parents

so am i the asshole for hiding stuff frmo my parents?

(fyi: they have since known that i gave her the wifi password. they were pissed, but they realized that i didn't know any better and aren't mad at me)

What are these acronyms?

[ddejavvu]

ok so now im stuck on the whole stepdad!james maybe dark ask i jsut send in, but obviously this james is the tried and true, big beefy rugby lad, gentle giant, that type.

but you just know that the lads take the PISS outta him, like he doesn’t introduce ur mom as “the missus”, or anything endearing, but once the boys find out that ur sorta kinda his step daughter?? ohh the porn jokes come flooding in.

want her to call u daddy james? oh stepdad im stuck over the couch again!!

and james can’t help but flush red cus he doesn’t really like ur mom like that, but he wants to be around you cus ur pretty and nice (not to mention ur a lot closer in age), and then. oh then. u get an almost-boyfriend.

a guy who sorta tries asking you on a date so u sorta try and go, but james is a fuckin baby about it once he finds out. all petulant and flushed cheeks bc he CANT say anything to u bc he’s not an official authority figure in ur life, or a potential romantic interest cus he hasn’t said so, so he’s stuck between a rock and a hard place so he tries to put issues in place like forgetting to dry ur date dress, or making ur favourite meal bc oh bug im so sorry i totally forgot ur going out tonight!! :((

i just want beefy james potter and his big fat fucking tits at this point that’s so cringe but MY GOD 🙏🙏

this post is 18+ (and so are its characters) and dark, minors dni.

THIS IS SO SPECIAL TO ME :')) james is already a certified lover boy but when he can't express that whenever he wants to?? totally whipped!! he's constantly calling you honey or love or sweetheart and when his friends realize that he doesn't call your mom any of that shit they lay into him so hard </33 sirius sends him porn links that he passes on his way to whatever he's looking for that are labeled stepdad or stepdaughter something along those lines, along with teasing remarks like 'this kinda looks like your kitchen. been up to anything fun with y/n?' or 'if you're looking for any ideas ;)'

when.. when you tell him you're going out. oh my god. he doesn't know what to say!! he can't stop you, and if he tattles on you to your mom she won't stop you, because what reason would she have? so he just nods all stiff and tells you he's happy for you. he bolts from the room as soon as he can, and you think it's kinda weird/mean but he seems fine later so you brush it off!! but the reason that he's fine is that he's just schemed with sirius and remus to get you to stay home for the date and he's confident now that you won't go </3

you're so right he does bait you with your favorite meal.. he calls you downstairs to ask you to taste the sauce for him and you come down in a full face of makeup!! he tells you that you look so pretty, but asks what it's for. you're like james.. my date?? and he goes ohhh, honey i forgot! i made your favorite :( i thought we could have a movie night!! your mom's at work :') and you feel sosososo bad bc he seems so hopeful about it and you don't want him to think that you don't like him!! but you're still planning on this date, so you tell him you'll eat light and come home early.

not good enough for him!! he just smiles and nods and tells you your dress is fresh out of the dryer, but ohhh it shrunk :( it's too tight now!! he's so sorry for ruining it, he must have put it on the wrong setting :( he'll take you to the mall tomorrow to replace it!! and you're pretty discouraged now, your outfit is ruined, you feel guilty for leaving, so you just raincheck the guy :( you feel super bad, especially because he thinks you're just getting cold feet, and snaps at you that he wouldn't have enjoyed your company anyways. this means you're sad and feeling guilty, and james gets to croon over how mean he was and how sweet you are for still feeling bad and he wraps you up in his big strong arms beside the stove and lets you bury your face in his big broad chest and he coddles you for as long as you’ll let him :’) he shovels your comfort meal into your mouth and puts on your favorite movie and snuggles up under blankets with you and at the end of the night you end up snoozing on his shoulder while the credits roll :’) he carries you up to your bed and tucks you all snug under your covers and he can’t stop himself from kissing your forehead :’)) your face is warm and flushed and he yearns to kiss your lips but he tears himself away and leaves you there with a promise to himself that he’ll treat you better than anyone else because it’s what you deserve :’)

[anarchyatthesupermarket]

HI i am having Thoughts about your necromancy au and i need to talk about it. i was trying to convince my sister to read it so that i could have someone to talk to about it. but then i realised. yknow who definitly also has Thoughts about YOUR necromancy au? you. feel free to delete this ask i just wanted to ramble(about the later chapters specifically)

Call this my toxic trait buttt I dont think Rae did anything wrong in raising his mom from the dead. LIKE why the fuck shouldnt he?? His mom(and grandpas) didnt deserve to die, why the fuck should he let them, when he HAS the power to bring them back?? like??? Also not Momboo being a massive bitch telling Isla her son deserved to die. LIKE GIRL. i know you have issues but that is NOT how you talk to a grieving mother. ABSOLUTELY DESPICABALE behaviour. ALSO im pissed off at Fenris, Caspian and Aax. Like not them confirming Rae's worst fears when he actually tells them about Momboo and sends HIM away. and blah blah blah its their magic reacting badly but they dont even TRY to sympathise with him. Als.o like Fenris you are literally dating another necromancer. You cannot give Rae shit for being a necromancer without then applying that to your BOYFRIEND???

ALSO funny how when Rae raised HIMSELF from the dead, taht didn't trigger their magic or whtv, but when he was revived by Momboo it DID. 🤔🤔🤔🤔 (I dont think this will go anywhere but. thats beside the point.) Actually wait no maybe im onto somethign here. Maybe its because momboo fucked him up while reviving him!! maybe she did this on purpose!!! wait no i think im wrong. whateverrrr im being silly 😋

i cant wait to see how other characters react to Rae's new situation. I think(hope) that Athena and Jamie will still eb on his side.... actually maybe not. But i will hope.

At least Rae has Isla, even though everyone thikns hes a monster(THE EPIC PARALLELS ARE REAL) at least his plan didnt fail and his mom;s alive. slight consolation.

If i was Isla i would be HOSTILE to the afformentioned people (Fen,cas,aax momboo) if the situation gets resovled and doesnt end with Rae's eternal death. Hell id be hostile the entire fucking time. I want to see ISla kick someones shit for Rae because how DARE they call her son a monster for saving HER. do you think that would cause her guilt though? since she kinda maybe sorta ruined her sons life? that he ruined his own life to bring her back?

OKAAY ANYWAY thats most of my thoughts. can you tell that Rae is my favourite character no matter the universe? Can you also tell how unwell i am about this au? i think about it..frequently.... again feel free to delete this i just needed to share my thoughts ad feelings with SOMEONE

I also have so many thoughts about my necromancy au, it's just rotating in the back of my brain 24/7. I'm really hoping this all makes sense.

I agree with you, there's very little reason that Rae shouldn't bring his family back and Momboo's reaction (while coming from a place of trauma and fear) was unreasonable. However, I raise this to you, Rae is dead, he can not age or die. At this moment with how it stands he is going to watch Isla grow old and die, if he brings Raemond and Everett back the same thing will happen. He brought Isla back and he's going to loose her again and why would he be any better at processing his grief. Necromancy can not stop old age.

As for what happened with Momboo bringing Rae back and then Aax/Fenris's magic reacting badly to that, I have so many thoughts about it bc it's also how I imagine magic working in this au. I'm going to try to make this make sense.

I imagine that everyone's magic inside them is like a well, you can take water out of it (to perform magic) and more water will flow in to replace that lost water. You can deepen the well to increase how much water can be taken out of it without it running dry (strengthening your magic) however, if you try to deepen the well too quickly then parts of it might cave in (think exercising without warming up leads to hurting yourself, you try to perform too much magic that you're not ready for and you get weaker because you pushed yourself too far). The thing is is that you don't want your well to collapse or run dry. Rae bringing back Isla caused both to happen. When Momboo brought him back she just refilled his well with water so he could rebuild his well (bring himself back to life because Rae relies completely on his magic to live, other people can survive their well of magic being emptied but he can't). Because of that there was life magic in a well meant for necromancy, it was like dumping a bucket of muddy water into a mountain spring, and it will take days for Rae's magic to replenish and wash out the life magic. Fenris and Aax sensed the life magic in him (magic that wasn't supposed to be there, magic that was wrong for who Rae is) and it set alarms bell off in their heads because that's Rae's body but that's not Rae's magic that's reanimated his corpse. That's what Len's magic and reanimating the hordes felt like, that was a necromancer's magic filling bodies not meant for that form of magic.

The same thing didn't happen when Isla or Centross were brought back because they are both necromancers and so is Rae. That is necromancy magic filling wells meant for necromancy. I don't think Momboo felt as much "wrongness" with bringing Caspian back either because of a combination of Caspian not having magic and Momboo being a life witch.

Rae being called not human is a correct statement because he's dead, he's a corpse that's walking around. He's an abomination/unnatural because he's "living" off of magic that is nothing like his own.

Rae is an abomination, he is a monster. He is both Len (the traitor, the monster, the original sin) and the hordes (the horror, the grief, the terror) that marched on cities. He is a reanimated corpse with the singular goal of bringing his family back no matter the cost.

This is not because of what type of necromancer he is (because there are types, I just haven't been able to talk about them yet), he brought Centross and Isla back with both of their desires being completely separate from his own. He has no control over them. His situation is a bit more like Len and the horde which Len has/had complete and utter control over. Rae didn't have enough magic to bring himself back to life completely (hence the no heartbeat/breathing/just being alive) but he did have enough magic to bring himself back as one of the "mindless undead" which have singular goals according to the necromancer who raised them, his goal being bringing his family back. He's not being rushed into doing that/given the illusion of free will because his "soul" inhabits his body since it was reanimated. Think of it like Rae's soul/ghost is possessing his body, if that helps, but ghosts usually are formed with some goal in mind like revenge, in Rae's case that goal is simply bringing his family back.

Anyways, I could keep talking about this but I feel like I'm making less and less sense as I go on. I'm always happy to answer asks about this series bc I am unwell about it. I hope this made sense and I'm glad you're enjoying the series!!

[milfzatannaz]

you know what’s been really bothering me.

I have misophonia. I’ve had it my whole life. My trigger noise is the sound of gum chewing and popping, and I can’t remember a time when this noise didn’t hurt. I’d cry, try and avoid it, but if someone chewing gum was talking to me, I would suddenly panic and become flighty. It made school hell sometimes, but my family made it really difficult too. I didn’t have the words to say how it felt, till I was a preteen or so. I grew up being hyper vigilant in the car worried my mother would reach into the cup holder and grab some gum. I still hate the sight of that particular brand in grocery stores! my siblings often got angry if I asked them to spit their gum out and would honestly chew it on purpose a lot.

anyway. this long lore spiel brings me to What’s Bothering Me. When I upset or piss off my mother, her favorite way to punish me is to threaten to chew gum in my face. The night of our fight, I was crying, cowered in my bed hoping she’d fall asleep, and I overheard her telling my sister “I’m going to stand over her bed and chew and chew and see how she feels”

I was so used to this threat that it didn’t occur to me that it was wrong. Not till last week, when a classmate in philosophy was chewing loud at me on purpose bc he thought I was being messy when I asked him to stop, so I had to cover my ears with my hands. I blurted out that I had misophonia and my professor was like I’m so sorry I didn’t know, and she got my classmate to stop. So I told her, thinking my tone was joking enough, that when my mom would get pissed off she’d threaten to chew and my professor looked at me and went, as a mother, i couldn’t imagine doing that.

so now I’m upset in bed probably looping thru a bad night (I’ll be ok I have the steps to take if it gets bad) and I feel so fucking sad that my mother thought this was okay my whole life

[thesrctsoftheuniverse]

finished season 4 last night and i once again have thought i would like to write down!!!

this time written on my phone bc im on holiday and havent gotten the wifi password for my laptop yet so bare with me

- may grant!!! I love that she got a bigger role this season. she’s so great and seeing her grow and learn the same way maddie had to learn was so beautiful to watch. her relationship to her mother is complicated but beautiful and i love that athena learns to accept that may is her own person. I hope we see more of her in season 5 and i hope we see more of athena and may together as well. her listening to her mom’s phonecall to 911…. I cried

-speaking of smaller characters getting bigger roles: josh!!! i LOVED what was basically a “josh begins” episode, he ATEEEEEE that one call where he had to direct several groups of LAPD officers around.

-bobby this season made me fear for a relapse. im so glad that he didnt relapse but im scared for him and worried. I hope he and athena can talk more and tbh i would love to see him open up again to the season 1 trio. chim, hen and buck helped him get sober after his relapse, i want to see them bond and vent together!!! the episode where he and michael played detectives LMFAOO

- i think ive mostly mentioned what i loved about athena this season in previous paragraphs, her relationship with may and her relationship with bobby. i absolutely LOVE how hard she went for that missing her, i loved her rescuing bobby from that sniper. there were some excellent scenes. i love her and hen together, my bestieesssssss!!!! i do wish to see her and bobby in more vulnerable scenes together, the fight and then aftermath of it was beautiful

-hen my love. what a rollercoaster. first of all i love her mom!!! she’s so fun and clearly trying to fix whatever went wrong between them. hen at med school is sosoosososo cool and i love her med school friends. she’s so cool being in med school even with everything else. I love seeing the main cast’s friends OUTSIDE of work, it adds so much to the characters . her and karen truly are so fucking important to me. the foster daughter arc with nia was so beautiful and heartbreaking. like im sorry you KNEW this could happen. but i love that they’re open to new placements even with the pain. and denny being involved!! and being scared of being taken away!!! Pls im gonna cry, the exact fear karen has

-chimney at the beginning of the season pissed me tf off. but then he was there for maddie in person and they were amazing!! girl dad chimney!! i love him, he loves his kid so much pleaseeeeee… and him telling the people who raised him how imporant they are to him. i love his character idk guys, hes just so wonderful to me. even if he clearly didnt see the signs of maddies post partum depression

- albert literally almost dying while his niece was being brought into the world was so fucking stressful jesus christ. i love him and i love his friendship with buck. uncle besties 4 life!!!

- maddie i love you so much. she was so beautiful this season, she deserves the world. she was so ready to be a mom but then post partum depression hit :( i hope she gets better, im glad she asked for help. her and buck’s storyline this season… the secret brother… for fucks sake how shocking and how HEAVY of a burden that must be to carry for so long. I love her so much.

- buck this season going to therapy…. Damn dont get too mentally stable or else they won’t know what to do with you anymore hahahaah!! nvm watch your loveofyourlife bestie get shot in front of you, have to crawl under a truck even with your trauma to save him and then literally try to keep him alive until the hospital only to then have to tell his son what is happening. heres moreeeee traumaaaaaaaa woooohooooo!!! ngl i liked him and taylor kelly this season, i kinda wish they would remain friends but i can deal with her as a love interest for now. shes an interesting character! his whole world being turned upside down when he was just starting to get better from the therapy by her sister admitting to them having a brother and him being born for spare parts. love you king, sorry you never get to be fully happy with yourself!

- eddie diaz you absolute cutie pie. will you ever be happy? Idk but you sure were bitchy this season. i fucking LOVED it, please tell me we get your bitchy ass back for season 5. him in the jinx episode??? I laughed so hard, truly an icon. I love ana flores but that man simply doesnt know what to do with a woman like her. oranywomanforthatmatter. him and chris is always beautiful, that is MY family. he loves that kid so muchz and him putting buck in the will?? hand in marriage next…. I knew what was coming from spoilers online but him being shot and the scenes after that of buck getting him inside the truck were so fucking nerve racking and also FUN!! what a moment.

-carla is back for 2 seconds and already spitting facts LMFAO

-the jinx episode was so fun and sossoossoso good pls more of it and more of ravi as well

-the treasure hunt episode was so good too!! I love episodes where they all get a bit silly

-the dam breaking and mudslide disaster was really good, especially with may being freshly at 911 dispatch and her MOM being stuck in a house that crashed down the hill. nothing tops the tsunami tho

- i want more buck and diaz scenes. and by diaz i mean chris.

thats all i can think fo rn my brain is tired i love travelling but it makes me so tired

[aleksa-sims]

RL Simself Story ⛈️

We had just arrived at Damien’s Mom's house. The thunderstorm continued, so Nico and I had to spend the night there. As I wanted to call my Mom, to tell her not to worry, Ana also called me, to tell me Daniel was back home. I was confused!?... I couldn’t believe it and I was annoyed by some things Ana did. Why was she at our place to talk to D.? Why is Ana meddling in my affairs? I mean, I get it! She was worried about him, she loved Daniel, just like my whole family did. But why did she have to mention that.... Lexi- shit? And why does she always think Alex is responsible for D.'s & my probs? Anyway, it pissed me off. And Nico was sitting right next to me while I was on the phone with Ana & my Mom. So he knew it too now, that D. was back. 😞

Me (to N.): I’m so sorry.... But trust me, it doesn’t change anything. I promise.... Uhm... I'll step out for a sec. I-...I have to call Ana back.

Nico: It's raining buckets!! Where you going? It's crazy out there.

Me: I-.... I just have to get out. Don't worry N., it's-... it's all fine. ok?

Nico: I'm going with you. 😟

Me: No! Please, don't. I just need to be by myself for a while. 😞

I'm so stupid!!! No one was out in the fucking weather, expect me, fool!... I had some questions for Ana. She said Daniel seemed high to her. I wanted to know why? Why did she think that? Well, Ana meant D. smoked, when she saw him. Actually, she was right. Daniel only smoked when he was high, or when we tried to get off that damn durg. I was worried about him, but at the same time, also mad. By now I knew, that Daniel saw Irena, just before he left 4 months ago. He was in her apartment. I didn’t know why he was there, at Irenas and his former place? Irena didn't want to tell me more.

Ana: Where are you anyway? Are you out there alone?

Me: Ah... yea, I'm alone.... Agh, Ana? Um... shit. The reception here's poor. Wait, I’m going in a different direction. Maybe it's better there?.... I think I’m gonna call Daniel.

Ana: You should go back to the house, to N. Just text Daniel. Tell him you'll be back home soon. But you don't have to call him, now A.!

Me: I’m afraid to tell him, Ana... And I feel so shitty about N., too. I'm so horrible. 😞

Ana: Yea. I get you. But Nico knew what he was getting into.

Me: Still, he also has feelings. N. is not an ass, as you all think. And I love him.

Me: Ana?.... Hello?... Ana!... Ugh, shit. 😨

Perfect timing. My phone died. 🤦‍♀️I was so absorbed in talking to my sister, that I got lost! I had no reception near Damien’s house, so I went in a completely different direction, but now, I did not know where I was? I decided to go back the way I went. Couldn't be so difficult, I thought....🧐

I was wrong! I got a.... little mental breakdown?... I wandered blind through an unknown area. Because of the heavy rain I could hardly open my eyes. I started to panic. I couldn’t use my phone to call N. He’ll think I left him, to rush home to Daniel. I was so worried about that. Nico told me himslef, just a few days ago, that he doesn’t trust me anymore. He's gonna hate me! 😨 And my Baby won’t have a Dad or a family bcs of me. 😭... I tried not to think about it, but about the tips my therapist taught me, to better deal with my panic attacks. And yea, I calmed down. I looked around again. I tried to concentrate to keep my eyes open. I saw two houses in the street where I was. I made my way towards the houses, to ask someone for help. But then I changed my mind. Somehow I didn’t feel good about ringing at strangers. I was afraid a psycho could lure me into his house. 😬 Yup, that's from watching so many horror movies, Ik!

Besides, I noticed that the road I was on, was a sign pointing to a bar and some shops, that should be just around the corner. I decided to try this first, before... well, I get killed by a sicko. Believe me, I have often run into some sick guys in my life. That’s why I was so insecure.

Meanwhile the others were starting to worry about me. Nico couldn’t find me outside and my phone was off too. He asked Damien to help him look for me. Oh, and the electricity was cut.  Allegedly, an important power pole was damaged by lightning. 🤷‍♀️

As you can see, I did not end up in a bar, but went to a shop that was open. I was so relieved when I saw other people there. They were surprised by the thunderstorm. Now they’ve been stuck in that small twon for two hours. They couldn’t get home. The streets were closed due to flooding and some other probs. Anyway, I was looking for the shop assistant to ask if I could use their phone. I just wanted to call N. to tell him where I was. Finally I found a young woman standing behind the counter, admiring herself in the mirror and taking selfies. I think she was about to go home? She grabbed her bag and hung it over her shoulder....

Me: Hi!... Um, excuse me?... Sorry, I don’t want to disturb you. Um, may I short use the phone here somewhere? I’m not from this area, just visiting, but I got lost. I just want to call my boyfriend so he doesn’t worry about me.

Girl: Oh, hi!... Sorry, but we are having technical probs with our phone connection atm. But, you know what? You can use my phone for a second. I hope it works. I just got off the phone with my brother and my mom. Let's try.

Me: Omg, I know you! (😡) Is your brother Damien?

Yes, I met Diana. Damien's Twin Sister. Let’s see if she remembers me? 😒... Oh, and btw, I didn’t really get lost. I just have a terrible sense of direction! Damien’s house was only 2 blocks away!!! So I went in the right direction, but.... somehow I didn’t recognize the surroundings. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Previous/Next

[toxicanonymity]

Ref: Stepdad Master List

Anonymous asked (Before Fandango, after hypothetical drabbles):

i think the social media stepdad!joel things you put out are so indefinitely juicy

like, personally im a bit of a silent grudge holder, and ikik he’s technically with the mom, but if that was me, id make the man sweat/feel as shitty as him fucking the mom made me feel if u get me??

like the first thought that crossed my mind was that id send a video of ME getting fucked. but then i was like.. no, bc then he’d know that i was still thinking of him AND i fucked the guy because of him out of spite and sent the video to piss him off and get him off (even if Joel was thinking abt me while he fucked the mom, it doesn’t matter).

so my second thought: bringing a guy back home, but actually acting a little shy/coy, like a little flustered with him (maybe both Joel and the mom are home and greet them etcetc), and THEN fucking upstairs. the delicious torture that’d be for Joel. like pretending ur trying to be quiet, making it seem to Joel like u are too type of thing.

like he’s getting no pictures or videos. no attention. not even a glance. then fucking some guy that, in Joel’s head, actually makes u blush/feel good. and the best thing?? how can he be mad? he has the mom sat next to him :] every line that he swears can’t be crossed with you isn’t even a line that exists anymore because you’ve made it so he isn’t even in the equation anymore. he kept insisting that u both cant be sexual with eachother, that it’s wrong and shouldn’t happen. he was always the one who refused to touch you/do anything, so he can’t be mad for so many reasons when you find someone who can, and that wants to, and that won’t touch anyone else (and I think that last little bit would kill Joel - knowing this guy u brought back would touch you and no others. it’s a ‘luxury” Joel cant have in any way you look at it. he can’t not touch the mom, he won’t let himself touch you. and now that you’ve taken yourself off the table completely, what exactly can he do abt it?? would he be able to come onto you at all? idk, maybe no, cus how could he come onto you when before, he was always “can’t touch, cant fuck, even just watching each other is too much”)

------------

You make some great points!

[winderlylandchime]

(1/2)The man came inside after a cigarette break, jumped right into 2x14, saw Justin dancing on the bar, paused the episode and went outside for another smoke. So i think he is handling it well. He is now back and his immediate reaction is ‘THIS IS BULLSHIT! Why are they making him do this, i know its his own doing BUT COME ON.. OH SO THEY KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? My dudes, my bros, my mens..why aren’t we throwing punches yet?..oh Brian is pissed off! Why doesnt he say something? what is that freak of a fuck giving him? JUSTIN DONT TAKE ANY DRUGS FROM HIM’ *pauses the tv on Brian* ‘see the problem is that he looks very pretty when he is in a bad mood’ *throws his hands up in the air* ‘PICKLE GUY!!!!!!!! Oh pickle guy and Emy are going on a world trip!! I can’t wait! Theyre gonna have so much fun…oh she’s still being a bitch to Ben? Man fuck her, i thought she was better with him?’…’oh Brian knows about his classes! I swear i am totally normal about this! But like, i didnt even know my own classes but Brian knows Justins? Oh Brian is angry.. good for him! I like this! I mean I don’t like the Justin part but i do like Brian being all for his education and shit. That’s nice! I want more of that but less of that other shit.’ ‘I thought we wrapped up with cop bullshit? Why the hell is he here? Yeah, what are you doing her- SAY WHAT NOW? HE ASKED WHAT NOW? exactly debbie! Tell him! WE *points to her and himself* do not date or fuck cops!’ He high fived debbie on tv bc he’s happy she turned doen the cop..’brian actually showed up for Emmetts going away at work? I LOVE EMY AND BRI BRI!!! Oh for fucks sake justin! Just take the fucking money! You arent doing a very good job at looking out for yourself right now, that man is an evil evil little freak! And Brian clearly knows it!’ And the scene with Vic and Debbie is up. ‘exactly Debbie, he is a homophobe!! VIC MY BOY WHAT? HE DIDNT MAKE A TINY JOKE HE MADE A BAD JOKE! He doesnt need enlightening, what he needs is my foot so far up his ass his own mom can feel it! Why is vic being dumb? At least debbie knows he’s a homophobe. VIC STOP THIS MADNESS!’ ‘Oh look Justin remembered he has a school! Its Brian! I like this, i would like more of them hanging out. Justin doing his homework and Brian being with him. AFTER HOURS PARTY?! Absolutely not! Oh Brian knows this is bad news. Brian please stop this madness! *pauses tv on Justin* dude, me and Brian are trying so hard to get to you and you won’t listen to either one of us and honestly, it’s not cute!’ And now he is groaning loudly because Debbie is going on a date. ‘The problem i have is, this would be a cute moment if he wasn’t a…you know *said in a very disapproving way* a cop. OH THE FUCKING IRONY OF MIKE AND OH MY FUCKING GOD I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE IT OH MY GOD OH MY GOD SHE IS A HYPOCRITE OF A WHOLE NEW LEVEL. Oh fuck her times 70.’ And now the plane scene is up and i am not ready ‘AHHH PICKLE GUY AND EMY ARE ON A TRIP!! I need them to give me a cute little montage of them having cute moments all over the world! Like some italian music that’s upbeat and just random snapshots of them! YES I WANT THAT! Ohhhh they are gonna get down and dirty in the bathroom!! Gross but have fun babies, you deserve it!’ He is currently scoffing at everything Carl says ‘Debbie.. come on. You cant even look at Ben and say hi to him and you see nothing wrong with Car- oh thats why she said into him, theyre the same. Assholes!’ I am not ready for whats about to happen, i always get sad but i am not ready for this. ‘Oh look at them going at it! Hell yeah Pickle Guy and Emy live your best lif-*he is genuinely on the verge of tears* pickle guy?..pickle..? Is he. noooooooooooo PICKLE GUY! *he is actually crying at this point* PICKLE GUY NO! What about the world trip! And italy! And cute montage! Pickle’ He is genuinely sad and honestly same.

OH POOR BROTHER ANON, mourning the loss of Pickle Man (do not let him eat a pickle in his memory).

Your brother is right - We Do Not Fuck Cops in this house. ACAB. He’s going to be very disappointed in Debbie (again)

I love that he and Brian are now a team trying to get Justin to listen to reason.

Okay… let’s get to the next one because a couple of us have been wondering how Brother Anon was going to respond to Justin topping…

[julien5-malfunction]

21022024

The slowly decomposing friend chilling in the corner has been fed a piece of meat, since I can't find any dead flies around and I imagine he's hungry since none of the little thirst traps have been closed since I brought him home....

I asked about feeding him meat from this witch person who also told me to pick off the dead traps as soon as they appear, so I did that as well.

I hope the plant feels better and doesn't get food posioning from the meat.

[Random grandmom encounter yesterday][CW mentioning: suicide, self harm, ed, transfobia. abuse.] 🔻🔻🔻

I slept for 18 hours, prior to that, I stayed up for 28 hours in total. that makes 46 hours so yeah, pretty much how the last 2 days have gone; In a caffeine fueled delirium and weird dreams.

Yesterday I ran into grandmom in the wild (in the seacond hand store) and she offered to pay for the things I has gonna buy.

(A fish shaped glass dish and 2 shotglasses, I said they're for paint. These totalled 1,50€)

Then stood with her on the street and the converstation went sonething like this:

Me : (acting pretty erratic, talking loudly, swearing, talking about wanting to killmyself and trying to get to care and rehab, aka THE USUAL)

Grandmom: (Telling me to go to mom, that my hair, face and chlother look bad, wtf happen to me I used to be a pretty, nice little girl, tells me to pretend everything is fine and go to school and get a job)

I told her multiple times that I'm not going back to mom, (and my other responses)

"bc my mental health can't take it, I'm clearly not OK and I'm done pretending that I'am, it never lead to anything good, can't you see?"

"I can't go to school like this, they threw me out so I'm trying to get to the fucking rehabilitation, I don't know why it's taking so long on the social workers end. It's not that I'm not fucking trying at all"

"What is wrong with these clothes? What do you mean 'they aren't nice?"

"Because I don't look like the other kids, yeah there, look, anorexic little whores, that one is smoking an electric cigarette, yeah ...And I'm not exactly skinny anymore. I don't care I don't want to look like that, they're boring. "

" I do have long hair (lifts up rat tail*) see?... I don't want to get it cut I'll look dumb."

" I'm not scratching my face! It just is like that, I don't care! I'm just not pretty."

Told her that I'm fed up with the conversation a doesen times. Then left.

Did I fucking insult her once?

I feel like I'm being an asshole but I'm also really tired of tolerating such treatment.

I talked about this in this kind of 'youth support' -thing, I went to as my next stop.

That I don't wanna go back to 'being THEIR little girl, a fucking barbie doll. Never talk back, everything was decided for me, I was dressed to school for fucks sake, up to when I was like 16 until I was placed in the first unit. Or not dressed dressed, but I didn't get to pick my clothes or they had to be out of the ones mom or grandmom bought to me, bc I didn't get to pick them at the clothes store and hated going shopping anyways.

Never being able to fucking talk about 'not being OK' cutting in silence and crying in the shower floor bc I once got yelled at for crying 'without telling a reason' (I, myself, did not know why I was crying?)

So yeah, they want that back. They want the little doll back and I always get to hear about it. Fuck them, I'm so over it. Cutting off mom did take me time to get used to, shit was difficult at first for me too. Now I don't even think about it unless someone/thing brings it up. I recovered from anorexia after that for fuck's sake. I begun to feel feelings for the first time bc I could finally fucking talk about feeling like shit or being excited and not being yelled at or made fun of? Like I actually have some kind of personality now??? Like. I have no words. I'm just pissed off and annoyed that this has to still be shoved at my face every fucking time, like??? I'm an adult now? I look shit if I look shit and I have my fucking issues that effect my life and that's my fucking life for now for fucks sake.

Like, I have a certain about of 'backstory' I trauma dump on people and IF THEY CAN STILL STAND ME AFTER THAT they pass the vibe check. Then I can be comfortable and talk unrelated things or whatever, depends on the social situation.

Grand mom, does not pass the vibe check.

Sure I'm thankful that she paid the 1,50€ for me but. I can't be bought to act like a doll anymore. Not with money anyways.

I'll try to learn so I won't be bought with kindness either. Being too kind got me taken advantage of. I have trust issues.

Trying to learn to stfu as well but it's hard.

[theuniverseawakens347]

Chrisean rock vs bluefase… bluefase vs chrisean rock … DONT MIND TYPOS

bluefase in the same boat as me ( and Tristan right now) adds and nipsey … for those in the industry and that think blot map I just spewed out with the “enter.all.ment.” Ya know what’s going on… but the public gets a different view.. and those who aren’t in the MESH ALL THEN SEGRATE sexxtours … trying to be proper sectors.. sectours… WE GOT INFORMANTS …. Bluefase. JONATHAN… he got niggas posing as him DDG I love you babe dashea Nicole tv… TO DO “the right thing” in the right crowd BUT THE WRONG THING WHERE SIN IS ALLOWED …

Johnathan and rock had they issues … still do… he doing time for the shit HE WILLINGLY DID TO GET BACK AT SOMEONES WHO HURT EM…. CHRISREAN HOWEVER … IS A SPECIAL CASE… SHE IS SOMEONE WITH SERIOUS MENTAL ILLNESS THAT GOT TOLD SHES IN A GODS HOUSE TO EXERCISE HER SINS AND LET HER DEMONDS PLAY… TESTING HER SOUL AND JUDGMENT HER TRUEST CHARACTER…. JR.

NOAH DECORSI NO SPIRITUAL GIFTS… FROM MY EXPERIENCES WITH HIM IN 5th grade and on.. HES ALWAYS BEEN AN ASSHOLE… HE A LEE GARLINGTON YA TOOK UR VICTIM HURT N TURNED IT INTO AN ABUSER.. THEN DO THE CHILD WHO DONT WANA GET THE PUNISHMENT BUT ENJOYS THE CRIME… MALCOM OF ASKARI..ASKARI HOWARD TO AN EXTENT .. LIKE ADDICTS … YA LET SELF WILL RUN RIOT TO WHERE ITS OBVIOUS … YOU NEEDED A PARENT AT ALL TIMES… YA TESTED WATERS… I DONT LIKE THIS POOL BC I CANT PISS WITHOUT ANNOYING OTHERS… IMA GO TO THE JACCUZI… OH I GOT AWAY WITH PEEING THERE… LETS SEE WHAT THIS MUD BATH DO…

YA COVERING SIN SWEEPING THINGS UNDER THE RUG. N LETTING THE MESS GET MESSIER WHICH IS BIGGER N BIGGER …

then those tryna clean it n find the starting point ya got looking crazy..

BOTH ROCK N BLUE ASKED FOR HELP… BUT ONE WAS LEGITIMATELY LOOKING FOR A WAY OUT… BLUE.. BUT TO THE PUBLIC IT LOOKS LIKE ROCK… AND THIS GOES INTO BROKEN HOMES MOM AND DAD DIVORCE… WHY DO ONE PARENT HATE THE OTHER SO MUCH MORE… WELL EVERYTHING IVE BEEN LISTING UP TO HEAR …

I’m not saying it’s exactly like my HOLY 3 original tree.. BUT THERE WAS SOMEONE WHO GOT SOOOO FAR TEMPED BY THE DEVIL THEY NEVER GOT THEIR SOUL BACK … THATS ROCK… SHE A NOAH… BOTH PRIVATE THE OTHER MANIPULATION OF FAN BASE FOR MONEY TO COME IN AND PLAYS THIS “ I’m broken home child raising my baby as best I can Jas of Lily mom sip ya tea … but IM NOT GON SHOW MY FANS WHAT REALLY WENT ON… ROCK BEING THE ISSUE….” … she went home to show her broken home and it back fires in her face BEHIND THE CAMERA AND SOME OF THE FANS BEEN CALLED SHE THE ISSUE.. SHE IS.. AND THAT HOUSE GETS MESSY ON IT OWN… CAUSE THERES ANOTHER ROCK THERE… TEMPTED LOST SOUL … TRYING TO BRING MORE INTO THE CIRCLE… PETER PIPER TAKING YA KIDS… BUT TESEHIKI WANA PUT YOU IN UR PLACE.. U SNEAK DISSED HER CAREER AND LITTLE MAN THEM… DARNIECE LEFT EYE.. BUT SHE ACTUALLY GET A PLATE OF DDG SCALE TO HALLE CAREER IN MUSIC … HE UP IN YOUTUBE BUT SHE TAKING AND MAKING ALL THE MONEY … N FANS LOVE HER MORE … BEYONCÉ JAYZ .. BUT YA DONT KNOW .., TIL NOW THE STORY TOLD FROM BEHIND THE SCENES.. YA DOING DEFORMATION ON MY MANS TRISTAN.. YA GOT HIS JEALOUS “ friends” TRYING TO KILL EM OFF LIKE PPL DID NIPSEY LAUREN LONDON BLACCSAM.. SAMATHA BABAYHAIRR FED 17 DIFFERENT BS STORIES N SHE NOT FOLLOWING HER INUTION… KINDA LIKE ROCK … BUT ROCK MENTAL ILLNESS TAKEN ADVATAGE OF LIKE ICE SPICE … BEING PIMPED TO AN ABUSER WHO DO THAT “ come here I got the “necessities” you need in material gain but ima treat you like shit still”

LIKE I SAID ROXK NEED MENTAL HELP… SPLIT PERSONALITY TURNING INTO COWS BRAIN… BLUE DID SPITE GET EVEN SHIT.. HE DEPRESSED AND ANXIOUS HIS ENVIRONMENT TOOK EM TO SURVIVAL MODE BUT THATS NOT HIM.. ONLY WHEN HE NEED TO FIGHT.

[minniweekss]

sit your ass down this is a long one

idk what the fuck has been wrong with me lately but all i ever feel is rage. everything pisses me the fuck off. mom woke me up at 10:30, bad mood. yesterday i woke up at 1:30pm, pissed tf off. also dropped my coffee on my new shoes yesterday and then proceeded to knock my entire 24ounce tumbler of coffee off my desk and all over my fucking carpet so now im even more pissed off trying to clean this fuck shit up with stupid ass paper towels knowing that my carpet is now fucked forever.

now heres the embarassing part. my mom witnessed my entire rage fit. screaming, flailing, throwing shit around my room and quite literally destroying my room just because some coffee spilled on my run. quite literally was my last straw.

now lets throw it back to the 26th, my birthday. I wake up with fucking covid (didnt know it was covid until the 28th). My mom leaves for NC that morning. we were supposed to do a birthday breakfast but since i was sick she just straight up left and we didnt do anything. so i spent the weekend alone with mike. Friday night i spent alone in my room with my little piece of cake and Love Island. then i went to work the next day (with a mask ofc) and worked a 9.5 hour shift while swaying and seeing black spots. oh lemme mention it was opening weekend of the new deadpool movie so it was fucking busy to say the least.

Anyways this whole weekend im literally alone. me myself and i. mom comes back, suddenly mike is sick. guess what? she buys him soup, fruit, juice, medicine, literally anything he needs. When i told my mom i had covid and was taken off the work schedule for the rest of the week she told me i should have said my test was negative so i could work anyways. ma'am im fucking sick with a very contagious disease are you fucking fr. while you're letting mike sit here and act like hes on his fucking death bed. suuuuuure.

now lets back it up even more to the weekend before my birthday. i had to celebrate that weekend bc i couldnt get the weekend of the 26th off bc of, you guessed it, deadpool. anyways. we were taking this blacksmithing class that i had my eye on for MONTHS. now im the one in the group to be known as the fantasy/medieval lover. i was quite literally writing a book about a blacksmith so. I was extremely excited for this class and i was trying to keep up with pics and videos of the progress cuz it looked like none of my friends were taking videos. I noticed a few here and there but didnt really think of it cuz i was so focused on making my knife. we get out of the class and back home and im sending all the pics and vids that i took and they did the same, and there were a lot more videos than i thougt. not a single one was me. i dont want to sound like a bitch saying like oh record me im important, no. But i was very excited for the class and i was trying my best to get videos of my own progress and they literally saw me doing that and didnt think to get a video of me making it? every single person that was in my group got a nice video of them tinkering away, while im seen in the background of the videos.

like quite literally one of them got a video of her doing each fucking step. why tf was i being ignored. they were barely even talking to me dude they were all talking to each other and im over here like ok i guess ill just focus on my knife then. there were a lot of cool tricks i was doing with the instructor, but i couldnt take a video bc blacksmithing needs both fucking hands. and i was too embarassed to ask for a video. i feel like i shouldnt have to ask..... the trick we did was called a double strike. the instructor did it with one of my friends and literally everyone whipped their phone out for a video. then a few mins later he came up to me and asked if i wanted to try and i was so excited. it was making me feel like a orc in mordor or something i thought this shit was so fucking cool. anyway we start, and i look around and not one person is even watching. cool.

idk i usually really dont like photos or videos of me cuz i hate the way i look so much, but this is probably the one thing i wanted a video of and didnt get one. i should have fucking asked them to take videos but i didnt think about it until we were home and i noticed that everyone else got a video of themselves. i was like "oh!" so i couldnt really post for my birthday cuz i didnt fucking have any pictures to post. literally all i got is a group picture with the instructors.....

to be fucking honest it felt like i was the third wheel when it was my planned event. not even just an event, but my 25th birthday. i feel like ever since then ive been agitated and annoyed all the time, especially with my friends. im becoming short tempered with them now. i dont think its a direct correlation to the blacksmithing at all i think its cuz my attitude has been so sour lately.

this post is all over the place so bear with me ok. im gonna jump around a lot. another thing that sets me off is when i text my friends either questions or plans i need them to confirm and they take 5 fucking day to respond to me, like shit i dont fucking need it now. idk i just cant be friends with someone who wont answer my messages like how the fuck are we supposed to talk if you dont even respond. im talking to myself at this point.

and my close close friends do this to me too so its making me become more distant with them because my biggest mode of communication is through text. because realistically i NEVERRRRRRRR see my friends. its a once every three months event okay. so you cannot judge me for being a big texter and wanting my friends to respond to me. i really dont want to feel like im fucking begging for your attention. i shouldnt HAVE to beg for your attention. I pretty much have two friends i send everything to and they're both out of state so... i cant even get my fucking in state friends to talk to me.

all of this to say im angry and lonely. im always angry in some form, im like the fucking hulk bro it takes the smallest fucking thing to set me off. and im so lonely all the fucking time cuz as you can tell, my friends dont fucking text me, i dont have any siblings either so its like wtf do i do. The only time i get human interaction is at work with stupid fucking customers. also dont have a partner cuz i didnt experience romantic love in high school or college so i fear its over for me. 25, havent been in a single relationship. not even joking bro not 1. ive had maybe 3 people like me before: my friend in HS when i wasnt even romantically processing things yet, a dude from work who only wanted to fuck, and a friend from college who iced me out when i said no.

idk i think thats SO comforting only having 3 people in your entire 25 years to be interested in you. that i know of at least. but out of those 3, only 1 asked me out so its like ok. even when i go out with friends they're the ones that get approached or flirted with by everyone. like at blacksmithing dude the cute instructors were flirting w all my friends and then when they got to me they'd be talking all business... cool thanks i get it im ugly as shit ok. i dont think theres ever been a girl or guy in public thats even checked me out. girls dont even go for me so thats fucking great. idk dude this type of shit makes me feel like im genuinely ugly. i know thats probably not true but thats how i see myself and how ive seen myself for years. i have never liked my face. ever. its always been my biggest insecurity. when covid first started and we wore masks i was fucking thriving having half my face covered. i looked so much better.

cant even try dating apps bc im demisexual so i cant even build a connection like that. and this time is all about hook up culture and friends w benefits its like i dont want that shit bro. i want an emotional connection with someone first before it gets physical because im fucking scared. I already hate myself so why would i let some stranger see my gross naked body bro ew. i cant do this dating shit brother i am genuonely about to be single for the rest of my goddamn life. which might be the end of me considering no one can fucking afford to live by themselves anymore and i REALLY dont want to live with a friend and their partner cuz that would just make me fucking depressed about my own love life.

screw the fucking world. im over this stupid ass shit dude, people fucking suck. relationships suck. friends suck. work sucks. life fucking sucks. cant afford to do anything, 25, still living at my fucking moms house. its like im stuck int he same spot and not moving forward. time seriously stopped in 2020 cuz what the fuck do you mean im 25 and not 20. i lost sooo much time to the pandemic and it made me worse. it made me more anxious, more depressed, more scared to go outside and enjoy life. like i used to be so productive. I was going to school and working 40 hrs a week. and now im only working 42hrs a week and i can barely get out of bed on my days off.

as i get older it just seems like life gets worse and worse. like i dont see this picking up at all. i literally only see a downward spiral from here.

life is absolute hell that is only sprinkled with good moments. idk if the good moments are enough to outweigh the bad at this point. idek if i want to make it to 30. im so miserable here. i dont even have any family in this stupid state except my mom. llike i dont have siblings and i barely have a fucking family either. dont talk to my aunt or cousins, dont talk to my oma cuz she hates me, barely talk to my other grandparents bc they're insane. its like i literally only have my mom. ,everyone else i know can go swing by their cousins place and hang out or spend the night. ive never been able to do that. my aunt left the state two months before my mom had me. like literally everyone related to me has moved away. like if i was close with my cousins at least thered be SOME family i could actually talk to and be close to. nah dude. its just me and my mom, literally. that is so fucking sad.

god help me bro

[mentallydeadartist]

Look who's back with another rambling post :,)

Well, let's just start with the usual, so I'll be opening up the box that is "Stranger by the shore" and like last time this is like a continuation of me blabbering to my friend 💀 so this is what I started with:

"It's way too fast paced. Also they focused on the wrong stuff. Like if you're already having bad pacing then I don't need a 5 min scene (or more) of them fucking. Like???

And the relationship is 1. Rushed, like they have known each other for like a while (I'd say a month but maybe even a few more months (I'd hope)) and then one of the guys needs to leave and the other is left to ponder for 3 years. Then when he gets back he (obv, he literally got back for him) starts flirting and what not so much that the other guy is just going deep down internalized homophobia and is brushing him off. He starts being distant and telling him "are you sure this is what you want" and man literally pulls out "you sure you don't want a girlfriend rather than having me?". 2. The internalized homophobia guy needs to sort some stuff out. He's way too quick when it's a stupid choice he's making. Like for example his fiance (who he broke off the engagement with even before meeting the other guy) is back to tell him about his dad. And while he fosters no feelings for her, when she asks "give a kiss goodbye, so that I'll be able to forget you" the motherfucker thinks for like two seconds ("oh yeah, that'll make it easier for her, so she'll leave me alone"). And mind you, he didn't even think about his fucking boyfriend. The other guy was literally on the side, he was gonna cheat. Without asking, without even realizing it 💀."

Like I said, it was way too fast paced for me.

And yeah it's a movie so "what were you expecting" idk. I guess I just think they could've done it better if some things were cut and some other scenes were given more time. I like the flashbacks tho, those were quite needed and at the right time too. I also get why they would want to show them flirting (or at least, Mio trying to flirt) to not have them rush too much (which, not only is it kinda playing into the "gay men rush thru every relationship they have" stereotype but also it's giving their story way less meaning) and they still failed, cause It's still too fast.

I have to say that this story would've done better as a longer film, a series would've been complicated to articulate tho. It's a rather weird situation.

I also find that it doesn't make sense for Mio to come back?? Like why would you. The "you helped me figure myself out" is not enough at all??? Why would you go back to someone you don't even know that well? How do you know he waited for you? We don't even know if they talked on the phone as much. Shun seemed shocked to talk to him, so I'd assume not. I'd understand if he (Mio) were to be grateful, as shun spent his time with him when his mom passed and didn't treat him like a good action, just like a normal person. And was still there by his side to help him through it. But not what Mio said to him.

Maybe the dub was also a mistake but it was 2 am and I was not gonna watch more subbed content.

Also the "almost cheating" thing just pisses me off. Like not only did shun just go for it (which, at least ask, like it makes sense why you would but you're not single my guy) but Mio kissed her, which you're not better than him??? Like yeah she's disappointed because it wasn't shun who kissed her, but it's still cheating bc again, Y'ALL HAD NO COMMUNICATION IN ALL OF THIS.

Also it's disgusting how after he completely messes up, shun just comes over and thinks he can make it better with kisses. Like I get if it's a small fight, but y'all both need to fucking talk because this could be getting more toxic if that isn't the case.

And then they fuck and it's anticlimactic as hell.

Like why was that even there????

"ah yeah, if people are watching, we might as well let them fuck" ??? What

Like yeah sure, pent up sexual frustration from both of them and also they're young so it's normal for them to make stupid choices.

But also they're both 20, fucking isn't gonna fix the lack of communication??

Also whose horrible idea was it to let Mio just wander with him?? Excuse me, what is he, a dog?? Mio is literally fixing everything in Shun's life and he's still getting dragged along like that. Let the guy rest istg. Now what's gonna happen? His dad is gonna be even more mad at him for being gay and then he'll sulk to Mio and he'll have to carry to burden of that too. And I get it, maybe Mio (somehow) thinks that Shun helping him is enough for what he's doing, but hm sorry to break it to you, but no way.

So if you're still planning to watch it, then just know it's some fujo bait or smt cause ain't no way it isn't 💀

[iwillfeastonyourflesh]

i dont think im a good person. i think im one of the worst types. i see whats wrong, understand that its wrong, and still i let it happen. sometimes i actively participate in it. my oldest brother is kind, and doesnt let anything anyone says about him stop him from living truthfully. but the things people say are fucking awful, and i know that i wouldnt be able to handle it as well as he does. my other brother saw what was happening to him, and decided to not let it happen to him. he became one of those popular kids that has a huge ego, but he saw my brother and never bullied someone else. i saw both the paths i could choose, and walked in the middle. im friends with people who aren’t actually popular, but act like they are and gossip like it. they’re shit people and bully/talk shit about people behind their backs. this includes me. the girl i talk to the most in the group, as shes in most of my classes, spends all the time shes with me either complaining about her family or making fun of people. if shes willing to talk crap about the people she actually likes in the group, shes def talking crap about me. shes said things to my face before, but other than calling me a loser the thing she said that stuck with me most was telling me i was the uglier version of another friend (im going to call her S). ive always compared myself to S, as shes the one i look most like. having an example of what i should be right next to me all the time sucks, but i don’t blame her for it. i have a lot of other friends, but none that i could fit into the group with. im not sure what to do. i know that a lot of people who are “older and wiser” than me will say that what’s happening to me rn isnt a big deal, and im aware of that. i try not to let these things affect me, as there are people who have actual problems and arent just spoiled kids who make jokes too much and accidentally made people think shes unaffected. a few days ago the friend who i spend the most time with (im calling her C) made a joke about one of our friends to her face, but it was the kind of joke thats too far. in response to her doing this, since i was right next to her, i told a “joke” to her face that was too far. i said something about how she ruins all of our conversations with negative comments, and thats why nobody talks to her. i could tell by her face that it hurt. she was almost silent the rest of class. i feel like complete and utter shit for saying it, but i keep trying to remind myself that she needs to learn. she comes from a rich family, and thinks that the few minor inconveniences in her life matter to everyone. her mom has bipolar, and the meds she was taking for it made her severely depressed and she ended up going to the hospital for it. ever since she came back from the hospital, C’s been acting like her mom is batshit insane. she got on the bus one time upset that her dad yelled at her, and ended up telling me that her moms crazy because shes not doing anything to take care of herself. i know people who were abused by their parents, and got beaten half to death but still sent back to their house because of the fucked up system we have. C telling me that pissed me off bc she gets whatever she wants, whenever she asks for it, and has never had to worry about money or whether or not her family would survive a war. im not saying these things have happened to me, but i dont try and act like my “problems” are the most important ones. im really sorry about this if for some reason you decided to read the full thing, and i apologise for sounding like a whiny brat, but i needed to tell someone and this way ill never know who that someone is, or if there is a someone. i wish you the very best, and i hope everything you want to happen will. good night

“Sometimes you just jump and hope it’s not a cliff.” - Casey McQuinston, Red, White, and Royal Blue

[deadchovsky]

Ok nvm more yapping under the cut. Tumblr is my diary and baby, I'm writing in pink glitter gel. Ignore this <3

I'm formatting this like greentext bc its funny

Big Font.

😨

Ddo you like Wilbur soot. Cuz I do

Anyways:

>be me on NYE

>one of my friends asked me to take a picture out of this end of year video thing I post on my 15 subs youtube channel every year at the end of the year.

> he says because his phone screen is visible and hes worried about what's on it. Says it might be some rp server he was on at the time the picture was taken and thinks it could he embarrassing. (This is important remember this.)

>I zoom in on the picture, it literally looks like a black screen.

> he says hes still worried about someone seeing it

>okay whatever. I try my best to remove this picture that last for like 2 seconds out of a 15 minute long video. (Sidebar, this picture was already in a different video months ago and he was fine w it then and literally has never brought up removing it from that video once.)

> I save changes to the video

> "okay I think I got it, but there might be like .5 seconds of it still, bc YouTube's editing thing sucks"

> he says its fine, because it's a 15 minute long video and the longest that clip is in there for is like. A singular second.

> 2 months later

> be me

> this mf hasnt talked to me, or basically any of my friends since new years.

> guy literally dropped out of the play despite wanting to be in it since September

>guy is literally in all 4 of my classes and hasnt attended a single one since the second day of the semester.

>I'm walking around the school bc the gender neutral bathrooms are closed, so I'm going to the least scary girls bathrooms near the front of the school.

> guy and one of my friends show up and stop me in the hallway.

> friend: "hey guy needs to talk to you."

> me: "bro I have to piss rn can it wait"

> apparently not.

> Guy: "I know you don't understand why I feel this way" (most condescending tone possible)

> turns out changes didnt save in YouTube video and the picture is still in the video for literally 0.003% of the entire runtime.

> tells me to remove it because he thinks that he was "texting his mom about his attempt at the time"

> picture was taken a month before the attempt. also he told me it was the rp server the first time I tried to remove it.

> ok whatever. I say I'll remove the picture.

> interaction is very awkward(mind you we're standing in the middle of a high school hallway while hes telling me all this) I leave and go piss

> I go back to class after pissing

>friend (who was with guy) says that was the first time guys talked to her in a few weeks.

>I show her the picture on my phone, bc I feel like I'm going crazy. The phone literally only looks turned on bc you can see a slightly outline of a white keyboard. Not to mention the photo is BLURRY.

>friend confirms that you can't see fucking shit on the phone in the picture.

>thank god because I thought I was somehow wrong for thinking you cant see shit

Also, bro saw that video that the picture was in once, freaked out bc he thought you could see his rp server in it, then tried to tell me TWO MONTHS LATER (and almost 10 months AFTER the picture was taken and posted in a different video THAT HE SAW) that he was talking to his mom about a suicide attempt in there. I didnt even remember about that bro how tf did he manage to keep that in his brain for two fucking months. Get different meds you fucking dweeb like oh my god. Clearly whatever you're on now isnt working.

[lostinatrainofthoughts]

Girlies im here to update on my tinder adventures. i had my 2nd call with another tinder dude. It lasted two hours 😃

Hes okay! But maybe i am picky dear Allah please so help me but theres just something about him that gives me the ick. Well not ick but like eh... he might not be the one.

heavy smoker: wont smoke in front of me out of courtesy but doesnt believe the science that inhaling toxin can legit kill you all bcause his grandma whos also a heavy smoker died of something else and not cancer. Like he doesnt care about the consequences at all.

2. privileged af and so ignorant about it: hes travelled once for a month last dec and will be traveling again THRICE this yr and he thinks that going for umrah is not a vacation/“travelling” bc its a spiritual journey like do you hear yourself and how in your bubble you are. Anything thats going out of the country for something thats not work AND going for a peace of mind is VACATION. his mom shops for branded stuff and he gets bored waiting around and sitting inside the store. Like some of us wouldnt even dream of stepping in. and i told him honestly, do you know how privileged you sound (entitled actually) and he said what do you mean?? and I'm like most people don't get to experience going out like that. and he was like yeah I'm thankful, grateful. mmm......

3. mansplainer (biggest ICK): he said hed bring me outdoors and i told him i cant and i dont like it and he said that he will force me but will bring an umbrella. Then i told him i have eczema and he gaslit me saying IT CANT BE THAT BAD. HIS EX HAD IT WORSE IT WAS SEVERE And i was so pissed. And so i said. Well. I had been admitted three fucking times for it and was on 4 different medications for it and going to biweekly appointments and blood tests and so i said im SURE. CERTAIN that i have it MUCH WORSE than your ex. he did not spare me a breath and came up with his own conclusion. also he says that eczema HAS A CURE. HES CERTAIN OF IT. bc he's saw it in his ex. and I'm like ............................ i had it since i was a baby. the fuck you mean there's a cure. there are treatments for it okay but not cure. i hate when people who don't have eczema say nonsense like that.

Which brings me to point no. 3: religious. Nothing nothing NOTHING wrong with someone who’s religious, i am a practicing muslim. I pray 5 times a day and i value my relationship with god too. But what i dont like is how he pushes his personal religious values or agenda onto me like i dont know shit. Your relationship with god, and my relationship with god is no ones business, its your own so dont try to police how i do it with god. Like i told him i “had” to quickly pray before calling him. And he stopped me saying i shouldnt say “had to” bc that would mean being forced/its an obligation so i have to change that bc “context is everything”. Like its something to fix. i really HAD to make it quick or else i wouldnt know what time i'd be praying.

4. With that being said, he is also homo/phobic..................... well yes and no? i don't know. he said he doesn't want to talk about it bc its controversial and he is against t/rans ppl and its changing the essence of what god has created for you. i just don't like that argument because . if there's one thing you cant change about me, it's my morals.

5. hes so into himself that he was basically pitching himself like a project. but ok, its my fault, i asked. but was there any reciprocation? did he ask me back about me? not really. i found myself having to jump in and add in what i had to say. he would say things like, I've been through a lot, you have no idea. and I'm like don't we all??? you arent the only one whos experienced the lows of life. you arent the only one who had a hard time.

6. his approaching his 30s and he treats me like I'm a kid bc I'm 26? "oh huwaina you still so young. when the pandemic hit, it was like 3 fucking years of my youth taken away from me now I'm almost 30" and i jumped in and said like "yeah me too" and he was like "no, I've already reached 30, there's no more 20s for me but you do. you still have time to experience things and enjoy life. i was 21, 22, 23 when covid happened i felt like i didn't experience the life i was supposed to at my early 20s. also does life end at 30 ladies and gents? he keeps telling me how gen z i am, and I'm like okay????????????

7. HES NOT GOOD LOOKING IM SORRY I SWIPED BC HE SEEMED LIKE HE HAD PERSONALITY 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️