#why do you have to die? let's live
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It's Plan A, right? No hesitation, right? We must live, right? If we're laughed at, we'll laugh it off Plan A Running away is winning
#nige jouzu no wakagimi#the elusive samurai#hojo tokiyuki#doodle#I honestly agree with this mindset#why do you have to die? let's live#AND THIS BOY IS ONLY LIKE 8#the art for this show is really good.. I want to draw illustrations if ONLY!! I were capable of such!!#may give it an attempt '-')9
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Bonus 13: Beware the Grapes of Wrath.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#wen qing#wen ning#WWX's main weapon as the Yiling patriarch is considered to be 'Wen Ning' - which makes sense as far as the whole necromancer thing goes.#However...That *is* Wen Qing's beloved baby brother!#In her perspective WWX skipped town for a few days (or so) and took WN with him#only for them both to show up bloodied and in a state of disarray.#There's no way he told her he was going out to duel Jiang Cheng. For several reasons.#He doesn't want to involve her in his messes anymore than he already has.#It's less that she would try and stop him and more so that he honestly wouldn't even think to say something about it to her.#WQ and him aren't partners in this situation. He actually openly disregards her opinions several times.#Wei Wuxian's emotional distance from everyone around him is a big part of this arc.#Like all good tragedies...his biggest flaw is his hubris. He doesn't *need* anyone when he's so capable on his own.#He doesn't need to ask permission when obviously this is the only way forwards.#He has to do it all on his own! No one else needs to be involved!#And if you've been in the position of realizing you have a problem of toxic self-reliance - you know how harmful this mindset is.#It's why it's so satisfying to see WWX in his 'new' life start to let other's share his burdens.#I will die on the hill of 'love means carrying each other's weight. All a burden means is that I can give you support and you support me.'#YLLZ is less 'competent and sexy' and more 'depressed and can't see it'.#Another lovely nod to the main theme here is how he starts leaning more and more into the rumours about him.#Though we are also still confronted with how these rumours fail to actually live up to reality.#Rumour has it the Yiling Patriarch is undefeatable. What a shame if that rumour turned out to be untrue!
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The Tournament
Trigger Warning for Violence
So you know how Danny is portrayed as the ghost king automatically after Pariah is defeated? What if there was more too it. Let’s say that Danny has joined a new hero team and is having fun and then there is some kind of ripple in the infinite realms that all magic users can feel. A tournament is being held to choose the new king. The reason it wasn’t held immediately upon Pariah’s defeat is because it took some time to get into contact with all the participants. Anyone eligible can attend the tournament. This includes those with royal blood, other ancients, anyone who meets a certain power level, anyone that have their own kingdom and people to rule over, or those who faught and sealed Pariah in the first place. Aka, Danny and Vlad. So Danny gets an invite to the tournament.
Now this can go two ways. One is that those ‘invited’ are obligated to attend. Like their core physically hurts if they try to refuse. And the tournament is dangerous. Creatures and demons and eldritch horrors from all over the infinite realms are attending.
Second option. The tournament is optional because it is very cut throat and usually a battle to the death (or in this case, until someone’s core is shattered) and with ghosts being able to survive a lot, the battles often end with missing limbs, spines ripped out, impailment, decapitation, and disembowelment to name a few. So many refuse to participate, not wanting to risk ceasing to exist. The problem though is that a dangerous person is participating (could be Vlad, could be another demonic villain of the JL) and unless they want this person to gain unlimited power through the crown and ring plus an army of undead, Danny has to participate. Or the world is doomed. And each time Danny goes through a trial or battle, (because there could be both.) he returns to the hero group with injures that would have killed a normal person. Practically drenched in his own ecto blood. (That’s if the heroes weren’t forced to watch their friend mid battle, unable to interfere. Man. That would suck if they had to watch his spine get ripped out or something. The screams alone. Maybe split the group so Danny can only bring a certain number of ‘guests’ and they rotate who goes?) And like, imagine what kind of conversation Danny would have. His team panicking about the impending threat of the new ghost king and Dany having to reveal that he is eligible to participate (if some outside force doesn’t reveal it for him) and being forced to compete in a tournament where you either die, or become a murderer.
#Dpxdc#dcxdp#Kizzer55555 ideas#TW warning for blood and violence#Imagine the heroes forcibly having to hold themselves back or hold eachother back because if they interfere then Phantom is dead. For good.#There is no good option.#I think some enemies might be able to surrender but surrendering could have a cost#like maybe eternal servitude binding their core to the winner so they physically can’t refuse orders?#So many would rather fight to the death than give in and essentially become soneone’s slave.#OOOOOHHHH. What if that’s how Pariah got his skeleton army? Those are all his previous competitors who surrendered.#It’s just that he didn’t let them keep their personalities. (Which is something you can do in a core binding slave contract).#That’s why many prefer death.#To have absolute control over someone to be able to strip them of their free will and use their body like a puppet is terrifying.#And even if you lose against so someone who wouldn’t abuse that power#if THEY lose then the soul contract automatically transfers to the new owner. Whether or not the previous owner chose to die.#Poor Danny is gonna be like CHUGGING ecto dejecto just to be able to healed enough for each new round.#Is that healthy? Absolutely not. It’s like living off of monster energy drinks and ibeprophen.#But what choice does he have?#The heroes are very worried about Phantom.#I see the ending as some sort of massive showdown between Phantom and Plasmius#where Danny is barely alive and forced to shatter Vlad’s core to survive. The crowd is cheering#but Danny is practically drowning in his own blood and holding his organs from falling out. Using a spear to hold himself up.#And amidst the cheering. Covered in his own blood and the blood of his enemy. Haunched over himself. He screams.
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y’all i cannot stop fucking thinking about it. will with his big blue eyes, youngest of them all, completely musically untalented and rhythmically challenged but by the gods does he understand the human body. following lee around holding his quiver and rattling off whatever he just learned from watching michael in the infirmary. doted on by his big siblings. talking for hours about a galaxy far far away with heroes who choose to save the world, aren’t forced to, hey, they’re heroes, just like you, lee! and his siblings have dreams, they know the prophecies, they look at their little brother and they know he will be alone. they don’t know why or how yet but they can feel in their very soul that he will be out in the stupid world with all its hatred and violence and he will have to defend himself. and he can’t shoot straight and he cries when he hurts someone in training, and all he wants to do is help, and he doesn’t understand that people can be cruel and they will take his kindness and bleed him dry. and a war is coming. they can feel it. do you think they would be desperate? for themselves as much as will? i don’t know how long i will live. i don’t know how long i have left. but you will be there, son of phoebus. i know you will. remember me, okay? remember how i loved you. remember how we loved each other, remember how we healed and fought and cared. please. please, will, remember us. and remember how we loved you.
#I AM FUCKING SOBBING ON THE GROUND#WHY DID I WRITE THAT 😭😭😭😭😭 WHY DID I OPEN THE CAN OF WORMS#all i can think of is lee!!#with his brothers and sisters and his gift of prophecy!!!#KNOWING he is going to die!!!!#knowing will is the only one who is going to survive!!!!#what do you do with that!!!#how do you deal with that!!!!#how do you put armour around his heart???#how do you protect him when you know you won’t be there#when you know he’ll have NOBODY???#HOW?????? HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF#WITH THE GODS????#and knowing how he finally goes…..#do you think it haunts him in elysium#or do you think for once the gods we merciful#and let him die before he saw the look in wills eyes#as he cradled the pieces of his skull#and sobbed#and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed#gods help me.#will solace#lee fletcher#will solace & lee fletcher#will solace angst
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what's so interesting is that agatha and nicky clearly had their cons well-oiled, and at the end it seems they even started turning their song into a part of it as well, like i don't think that was the first time nicky sang that song for an audience and they used it to lure witches (i do think it's the first time that it /technically/ didn't work), and how after nicky died it continued to gain popularity and be so well-known it became a legend, and along with that agatha being known as the only survivor of the road and people (like billy) seeking her out to walk it or just for knowledge of it. and i think that had been the idea when they first started using it as a con. making it so they no longer had to travel and scavenge, using it as a lure to bring the witches to them in order to keep nicky alive, but only one small misstep and rio got him anyway
and then thinking about how lorna, who had a generational curse placed upon her family that is going to kill both her and her daughter and who desperately wants to see her daughter survive, heard this song and created her own version to use as a protection spell for her daughter and, like agatha did before her, she made her version so well-known and so popular that years and years after death it's still protecting her daughter, until ultimately her daughter was finally able to use it to break the curse and save herself
idk just.. they're like two sides of the same coin, or distorted mirrors of each other
agathas love was so powerful and so strong that death gave nicky time
lornas love was so powerful and so strong that the ballad gave alice time and even freed her
if nicky hadnt been taken that night, could it have eventually freed him as well? rio said agatha used the dark magic of the darkhold to hide herself from rio, so was that the end goal? they'd continue to lure witches to both keep nicky alive and to have agatha become powerful enough to forever keep them hidden?
#agatha all along#aaa spoilers#agatha harkness#nicholas scratch#alice wu gulliver#lorna wu#txt#me before the finale: and i'll save this song to use the lyrics to make gifsets of agatha x rio since i'll finally have more scenes to use#me after the finale: lorna/alice and agatha/nicholas parallels let's goooo#and there's something so poetic about how alice died too#like the song worked for her in ways it could never have worked for nicky#the song saved her like it never could nicky and like it was supposed to for nicky#and ultimately she dies the same as all the witches who had been drained to keep nicky living#do you think instead of just a loss of control agathas grief and bitterness chose to take from alice#because why should what was meant to save nicky save her instead?#i wonder if that moment when she watches it fizzle does she think of lorna?#does hearing nicky's voice allow her to see the similarities from a different perspective instead of through her grief#through her love of her son and connect it to lorna's love of her daughter? their struggle was the same for as much as it was different#idk it's just... agatha was planning to drain them from the start#why was /this/ one different. why did she have that look on her face after#especially after being confronted with her own mother who would have seen her die
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temple is an unreliable narrator and is more at fault for biff’s death than he lets on/remembers: juicy. delicious. tragic. what’s the truth? does anyone even remember? how much blame falls on carolina? how much on temple? how much on biff? everyone has a different version of events and they’re all conflicting and no one knows what really happened except that biff ended up dead and temple can never, ever let that go.
temple is an unreliable narrator and is completely at fault for biff’s death and carolina had nothing to do with it: okay well you’ve made it even more boring than canon
#mark temple#rvb#i don’t know how many ppl still have ‘temple killed biff’ theories but tumblr kept showing me some old ones after looking through temple tag#and i’m just. temple killing biff and then blaming the freelancers is so borrrinnnnnggggg you just made him a crazy person#he’s gotta have motives. he’s gotta have a motive that makes you understand why he did this.#you gotta see the vision#it’s also very… i don’t know it feels very like. scrubbing down carolina’s edges?#the fact that carolina would be willing to kill/let sim troopers die is like. that’s a part of her character#that’s a part of ALL the freelancer’s characters#like obviously temple becoming a serial killer with a murder basement is fucked up and not a equivalent retribution#but also. like. i can guarantee you every freelancer in that room took a biff away from a temple.#killing sim troopers was just part of the job#making carolina have no culpability just weakens it soooooo much like. like you’re not actually cleaning her character at all#she definitely killed other sim troopers!#we see her! on screen! killing a bunch of guards who are literally just. doing their job. like they’re essentially civilians.#carolina was complicit in a system that resulted in many innocent lives lost and one of those lives was biff#and maybe temple had more of a hand in it than what he said but that doesn’t erase carolina’s complicity
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My idea of Odysseus and the Odyssey in general has been now clouded by the musical.
It's cool to know what's gonna happen, love having to study that in elementary.
Hey, Odysseus, when are you going to tell your family you're actually leaving again to die at sea? :D
#epic odysseus#epic the musical#odysseus#the odyssey#THIS IS WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY#GUYS OMERO DID NOT LIKE HAPPY ENDINGS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND#OH YOU THINK HE'LL GET TO BE WITH HIS WIFE AND SON AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER?#WRONG#HE WILL LEAVE AND DIE#BECAUSE THAT'S HIS STUPID DESTINY OR SOMETHING I CAN'T REMEMBER#I swear when I catch Paride#When I catch that idiot#Me and my bestie hate that guy#Ah yes let's kidnap the wife of Menelao surely this won't cause a war#YOU IDIOT#YOU FOOL#ETTORE MY BOY DID NOT DESERVE WHAT HAPPENED TO TROY#“but how is this connected to the Odyssey?” MF#MF DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND#THAT IF THAT IDIOT DIDN'T KIDNAP ELENA#THAT BOTH ETTORE AND ODYSSEUS WOULD BE LIVING HAPPILY WITH THEIR WIVES AND SONS#They could have been great allies#Like I'm being fr they could have#Omero why must you make them suffer?#why must you make US suffer?#I need a happy ending au#I need an au where both Astianatte and Telemachus survive and become friends or something#they go on adventures together and their dads are just like:#“Look at them they're just like us”#“Indeed they are hopefully they won't have to fight Gods or something”
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Grips my shirt and tears it apart so that all the buttons go flying and SCREAMS I love Law and Cora so much what the FUCK!!!!
#Shima speaks#SLAMS MY HEAD INTO THE WALL. BREAKING THE PLASTER. LEAVING A HOLE#AGHHH. AGHHFHF HELP#Cora who saw a kid so angry and bitter at the world decided to throw away everything to save him despite the whole WORLD saying he couldn’t#Law who finally realized there’s still hope left in the world and hope left for him and there’s someone willing to sacrifice EVERYTHING#Just to save him. Just to give him a fighting chance. Just to let him be FREE#Law who came to realize how much Cora meant to him and how much love and care Cora had for him. Then losing all that in an INSTANT#The one person he cared about more than anything sacrificed his LIFE for him#And Law spent the next 13 YEARS working to avenge Cora…naming his pirate crew getting tattoos fashioning his Jolly Roger ALL after Cora#TATTOOS!!! HE GOT PERMANENT MARKINGS ON HIS BODY SYMBOLIZING CORA#I’M. GOING TO FUCKING EXPLODE AND BLOW UP. WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK#Oda writing the most epic revenge quest in history#They mean so much to me I’m GOING to die. Right here and now#Cora giving up everything for Law and Law giving up everything for Cora…THAT’S TRUE LOVE BABEY#No matter what kind of form it comes in that’s TRUE. LOVE. PERIODT#One Piece#Do you think Law still would have gotten tattoos symbolizing Cora if Cora had lived. I wonder about that sometimes.#I feel like he would. I feel like he’d wear them proudly and Cora would be SO embarrassed about it#Law’s not shy about shit like that he’d be super smug about it too#Law: You saved me and gave my life meaning why WOULDN’T I want to permanently mark my body to honor that#Cora: Because it’s embarrassing! Lawwww!!! 😭#Law: Too bad doing it anyway <3#Cora: You know what. Fine. But I’m getting a tattoo that symbolizes YOU#Law: PLEASE???#Cora: WH. WAIT THAT BACKFIRED THAT IS NOT HOW YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO REACT#Cora you NEED to match his freak okay.#I heavily hc Law to be absolutely unhinged over the people he cares about#Like scarily possessive AND obsessive kind of unhinged#He and Cora can have an unhealthy codependent relationship. As a treat <3#Okay shutting up now SORRY I’m just. Unwell. Sighs dramatically
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(lady) fia celtigar - that night and this one, too on ao3
art style inspired by @irlplasticlamb
#house of the dragon#hotd#aemond targaryen#fia celtigar#deserved#that boy did not deserve to die#why could you not just have let it go#we do not#all of us#have the means to take back that which was stolen from us#some of us have to learn to live with our pain#knowing we may never get justice for it#what pain you have wrought now for all of us#because you could not live with yours
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like why did they change where Vegeta was when Cell announced the cell games in the anime
why did they make this vegeta starting shit with yamcha instead of chillin in the lab with his family? why did they take Bulma out of the lab? Why'd they say she was Out while Dr Brief was repairing 16? Why did they change Bulma working on advanced robotics to running in late with her baby?
it's the same scene except: - Bulma's actively at work being a scientist - Vegeta's not being rude to her (or anyone else!) - Vegeta waits for Trunks instead of leaving the room - Cell interrupted the airwaves, which means Trunks and Vegeta were just hanging out with Bulma and Dr B while they were working
Those are all Great Character Details!! That the anime rails against!!
#these cowards afraid of showing Vegeta actively choosing to be around his wife and child even when he's Bad#Because Goku who is Good never ever even once makes that choice onscreen outside of filler#and then they justify that choice by making Chi-Chi seem horrid and unreasonable for (checks notes) Not Wanting Her Child to Die#anyway I am once again being bitter about anime vs manga klasjdklasd#I can't believe I let the anime convince me I hated Goku man Goku's SUCH a good and ridiculous character in the manga#the anime just SUCKS at letting him be who he's always been#and has to reframe and recontextualize and reword everything he does so that it seems like he's Actually Quite Mature and Thoughtful nO#THAT's VEGETA YOU COWARDS#also the fact that bulma said she wouldn't live with him at the beginning of this arc to him casually hanging out with her and trunks#after cell beat his ass and humbled him is REALLY GOOD SUBTEXT for their shared relationship having improved without showing it#it's great subtext for all three of them and toei just went 'nah' and decided to make it a whole group shot so ...? Master Roshi could sit#and explain how ??? Tournaments Work??? Just so Cell could log on and also explain how tournaments work?? God it's been so long#since I've watched the anime and now when I do it just makes me mad aklsdjskja the manga is SOOOOO much better#there are some spots where the pacing is more ideal in the anime like goku turning ssj for the first time but like man. everything else is.#like why are you making Goku snarky with Vegeta dude his clapbacks are SO much funnier when they're just Tactless Honesty#like Vegeta's not insulted by Snark bitch he grew up in the Freeza force that man was raised by THE bitchiest drag queens#Vegeta's insulted by someone saying something deeply and insultingly True to his face as if it's the fucking weather#Goku in the anime is like 'a battle of wits hoho' but Goku's purity is part of the joke he's not snippy he's just got no social etiquette#He's just honest! He's not trying to be insulting. That's what MAKES it insulting! That's the WHOLE GAG of why Vegeta can't stand him#Goku is always just telling the truth and it's always the rudest shit Vegeta's ever heard in his life#'it's a sunny day! i'm way stronger than you! see you out there bud!' 10000% Genuinely Friendly. Golden Retriever-Ass Pure.#Infuriating. Hilarious.#anyway I looked at anime clips to make sure I remembered things right and that was a mistake#as someone who has a soft spot for it and grew up on it -- compared to the manga it's bad and it's always been bad#and toriyama was right to be disinterested in watching it jesus christ they BUTCHERED his work#anyway this has been another shot of haterade with sketches thank you for scrolling my rambletags askljdask#dbtag#i just truly can't get over how they make Vegeta call her 'woman' in the anime and he literally only ever calls her Bulma in the manga#except for on namek when he refers to her as 'the/that woman' because she is a complete stranger#why is he calling her woman like he's a 1940s american husband and not an extraterrestrial from a deeply advanced society toei
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i miss claude so badly im already planning my golden deer maddening run while still in the middle of black eagles. i just want my guy. my favorite guy. unfortunately i just love the black eagles as a group/cast but i am mourning my man (i never kill him btw)
#ann in fodlan#all my thoughts are wah wah wheres claude wah wah#but i love edie too… see this is why three hopes was great cuz i got to see both of them together#im an edie yuri truther its my top 3 edie ships but number 4… hehe. edie/claude… SORRYYYYY#actually im a aroace claude truther but if i must choose someone for him. hehehehsehhegrh#but i did read this lovely aromantic claude fic one time and its so dear to me. i think i bookmarked it i should go read it again#i love him. god.#and you know i do like the gd house#its just. i dont like them as much as i want to? not as much as be or bl#and part of that honestly is because i like units based on two categories:#characterization and how fun they are gameplay wise.#and unfortunately most of them let me down on that latter category 😭😭#like. ive tried so hard to make lorenz good. SO HARD. but i cant…. i dont know what to do with him!#dark knight wyvern paladin bishop dark mage sniper HE SUCKS!!!!#raphael is also always terrible for me so one time i just made him a mage bc if hes gonna suck i may as well laugh#he was outdamaged by my warrior lysithea. actually she went crazy hard for no reason#you know who i want to like more? hilda.#on paper she is the perfect character for me. shes pink she has an axe shes valentine themed#i LOVE the spoiled rich girl trope like sorry. sorry#but i just cant get over her racism and it shocks me sometimes how that is an unpopular opinion#but idk. i know its not real and it comes from a place of ignorance rather than malice#but when youve been cyril before to someone else’s hilda its like. its hard to watch#another support of hers i cant get over is actually her marianne support and like. unpopular opinion but i cant stand that support#idk how everyone j goes ‘yuri!!’ have any of you ever been marianne in that situation.#its so uncomfortable sorry. marianne get up… better yuri awaits you.#and its not even the fact that hildas wrong in these situations its that she never acknowledges that!! no one ever pushes back! its annoying#i do like her to some extent. i LOVE her characterization towards her motivations (why she doesnt try too hard/she doesnt believe anything#is worth lives)#and then on crimson flower you see that she HAS found a cause/someone worth her life (claude) and its SO tragic its so well done#TAG COUNT IM A CLAUDE OR LEONIE RIDE OR DIE THO I HAVE TO GO BYE
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7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos
#normal Saturday morning behavior#redacted spoilers#redacted audio#redacted sam#Seven.txt#rp audio stuff#well. crying over one singular blorbo in particular. Sam's still got me in an emotional chokehold#and i'm too sad to even make a stupid little joke abt how i wouldn't mind if it was a physical one too. ayeee *insert sad eyebrow wiggle*#no but seriously. i have so many feelings abt him and i can't even say it all bc some of it isn't public info yet#eh fuck it i'll just draft this until the audio goes public and then i'll post it once it's no longer Exclusive Info#bc i dont wanna leak Early Access stuff but i have to get this out of my system rn and the new audio is part of what sparked these thoughts#which is funny bc i. literally haven't even listened to it yet. i'm not Ready 😭#where's that tiktok screenshot that's like. 'hyperfixation so bad that i can't even engage with the source material' bc that's me rn#like bro Sam only won the poll like. 2 or 3 days ago and Eric is Already dropping a new Sam audio?? hello? Mr. Redacted i wasn't prepared#anyways i was spoiling myself by perusing the comments last night trying to get a feel for if it's gonna be more angst or comfort#and i saw a comment that absolutely shattered me. and it reignited all my sad thoughts about Sam's eventual. uh. y'know. death.#apparently they plant a tree together or smthn in the new audio (which already has me & my beloved 10y/o orange tree feeling some kinda way#but to the individual in the comments who brought to all our minds the image of Sam sitting beneath that tree in 30 or so years time#when he's decided that he's ready to die and sits out there waiting for the sun to rise..................... 🥲#i'm gonna need u to compensate me for all of that unexpected emotional damage /j /nm#i'm Still not over what he told Darlin' while they had their talk about the future up on his roof together. that audio killed me#then yesterday i was listening to my Sam & Darlin' playlist while cleaning. and Malibu Nights by LANY came on. which i always skip bc Sad#but i let it play and just started crying. standing in the middle of the room all disheveled and holding a broom. as one does.#iirc that song is one that Eric himself said is applicable to Sam which is why/how i found it and put it on the playlist. and god. g o d#hm. i hope that wasn't Patreon exclusive info. i can't remember if it was a public post where he said that or not. hope it's okay to share#but if we can take that song as like. unofficial canon for Sam then that also confirms my idea that he used to drink to cope#which makes the opening lines of Fix What You Didn't Break by Nate Smith even more applicable. i should go edit that post actually#anyways i'm just. feeling a lot. and i love Sam very much and i don't want him to die. but i want him to do what he wants at the same time#Alexis took so fucking much from him. he deserves to live - and end - his life on his own terms. ... i think i need to go write something#*casually fishes this post out of the drafts 3 and a half days later* hi so uh. i wrote a 4k oneshot :) and will hopefully post it tomorrow
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is episode 8 the domitian arc ? more on this and EVEN MORE narratives i’ve been ignoring that the show said “actually,,,” about in 5
#hermes staying domitian’s hand… hermes’ face a flash of discomfort when he was torturing tenax… hmm. character growth.#WHAT WAS THAT HERMES. WHAT WAS THAT LOOK. NO GIRL GET BACK HERE I CANNOT ALSO DO THIS NARRATIVE OF YOU NO LONGER ABLE TO PULL HIM BACK FROM#THE BRINK OF HIS CRUELTY WATCHING HIM CHANGE AND SEEKING OUT SOMEONE ELSE IN HIS NEED AND FEAR AND ANGST. NO BABY GIRLLLL#I DON’T WANT TO WRITE A HERMES POINT OF VIEWWWW OF THE SIX YEARS HE SPENT WATCHING DOMITIAN BLOOMMMM INTO HIS POWER AND CORRUPTTTT because.#correct me if i’m wrong but in that very first scene that was a young hermes in the white right he watched domitian give his speech and saw#his father to truly see him the whole time as hermes has seen his brilliance.#NO I ALSO SAW THAT GUARD’S HEAD FOLLOW HERMES oh i hate it here. you know what i also hate? i need domitian to be successful for tenax#but also i do kinda like titus… NOOOOOO NO KILLING TITUS DOMITIAN I JUST SAID I LIKED HIM!!!! DOMITIAN!!!#oh. ohhhh no. OH NOOOO okay listen we can redeem this. we can have the whole turning point of the narrative be domitian’s mercy of hermes#the ultimate staying of his hand. proving he’s not entirely gone that hermes & his love still means something. do i think this will happen#no absolutely not. before he can kill his brother domitian has to kill the only other living person he loves perhaps more than titus if he#could ever realize it. (a brief interlude to yell LET’S GO LESBIANS LET’S GO HI IRIS) domitian… please spare him… OH WAIT HELLO THE BLOOD!!#ALSO a brief interlude to say i knew it was coming but ELIA’S SPEECH ABOUT LOVING INCITATUS??? I WAS ON THIS INCITATUS SHIT WITH THE LITTLE#NOD THEY HAD WHERE SCORPUS CALLED HIM TO BEAT XENON OH MY GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!!! elia’s going to crush him. incitatus won’t listen.#scorpus is going to die twice once when they call elia’s name instead of his and then the second time when the scorpion bites him again#(he kills himself and tenax finds him. sorry to give everyone absolutely maximum damage here but uh. that’s how i can see it going down)#or alternatively worse: after killing titus who at times he loves and hates in equal measure (if y’all don’t think I have some UNHINGED#brothers quotes. we’ll keep mum here about why but suffice to say it is. relevant to other fandoms. and thus i have a Collection) the last#thing domitian has to do is kill hermes. and this one is both out of betrayal but also love because I think somewhere in here titus’ queen#berenice plays a role because domitian’s hatred of the jews probably comes to play a role and I think titus would show up and protect her#like Domitian engineers some kind of a situation where in theory titus could escape alive or beat him but he can’t do that & save berenice#and so of course he saved berenice. or she dies in his arms and he goes mad with grief and any way you put it berenice is the trap & titus#happily crawls into the lion’s mouth to save her for love of her etc and domitian sees him die for it. he gives titus every chance to come#back to him to work with him to be what he wants him to be and he always chooses himself he chooses love and domitian can’t understand even#when it makes him weak. and then he sees hermes dirty and emaciated and still terribly terribly beautiful and feels such a pang of longing#and love that he decides he has to die because he (domitian) cannot be weak. he cannot have any of it. also giving domitian worse paranoia#than he already has because if you kill your brother the one person who should always love you—support you—who can build me a new brother—#you’ve gotta generate some MAJOR issues. namely trust issues. and if he kills hermes they’ll be even worse. so like ideally To Me domitian#wouldn’t kill him but i do very much see the symbolism of cutting off his last earthly tie & desire to ascend to the divine imperial throne#those about to die
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what if i said i actually love too weird to live, too rare to die and think it’s underrated. what then.
#idk at least the time i’ve lurked around p!atd fandom stuff it feels like no one ever brought up this album 😭😭#vices and virtues too but at least then there was still leftover ryan ross scraps to hold onto#but like. idk i like the dark las vegas vibes of twtltrtd#i’m not the biggest fan of this is gospel but once you get past it it’s got some bangers ngl#one super minor gripe with the album is that i think the brobecks version of far too young to die is better than the twtltrtd version#it’s minor but it’s true. listen to both versions of the song and you’ll understand#my only real complaints though are just with the lyrical content of girls/girls/boys and casual affair#i like the songs themselves but the lyrics….. who let them cook actually#what was brendon doing. why are you singing about affairs like that whilst you’re a fully married man. ????#but honestly the transition towards the end of the album to more romantic songs is nice#i think it fits well and is a good way to slowly die the energy down without completely squashing it#the end of all things is genuinely a beautiful song but an even more beautiful ending to the album#the lyrics are brendon’s wedding vows and the piano is very nice#i like the effects on the vocals and i think they were a good choice to make everything even more cohesive#it doesn’t take away from the emotional value of the song and it also makes it fit better on the album than if it were just a regular#kind of piano ballad#but then also having collar full be the song leading up to it? even better#i fucking love collar full and agh. having it lead into the end of all things is perfect for it#it’s fun on its own but it’s even better in context i think#anyways. too weird to live too rare to die is an alright pop rock album. go listen to it if you want#me.txt
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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what the fuck is wrong with meeee 👍
#why do i have no backbone whatsoever. why do i just let my mum use my money to fund her drug addiction#she owes me thousands at this point. i barely even care#thanks for letting your shitty boyfriend with the known gambling problem borrow my debit card btw mum. real nice of you.#and i’m just letting it happen. because what’s the point of being angry it won’t change anything#i mean seriously what are my options here. cut her off and watch her die from withdrawal because she refuses to take care of herself?#go live with my dad? and be surrounded on all sides by transphobia? never come out of the closet?#try to leave the nest as a depressed agoraphobe who’s never had a job in the middle of a housing crisis?#can someone come fucking save me from this nightmare of paralysis i’m in i’m so serious#uh. hi. me when i vent 👍
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