#why do you feel the need to post it publically?? like it's a funny haha joke to hate on someone?

[autistic-beshelar]

til there's a weird amount of people who hate matt mercer for absolutely zero reason

[sorrinslays]

More about the Belobog Roleswap AU

So, I decided to make this post because of @lesbianbootheng. Specifically, their reblog right here:

#hsr#role swap au#op i hope u know much i enjoy those aus and the fact u made one is So Cool to me#pls tell me u have more ideas bc dude? i’d love to hear em#and i hope ur comfy w/ me adding some ideas myself bc this sounds soo fucking cool dude like wtf#love the idea of clara and hook being assistants to the silvermane guards that’s so cool <3 it fits them surprisingly well#ALSO THE FUCKING NERD PELA BEING PART OF THE FIGBT CLUB?? idk that’s so funny to me idk why LMFAO#oleg being luka’s father is rlly cute i love that <3 my HEARTT#also svorg being slowly being aaprt of the landau family by serval fixing him and they start to consider each other as the other loved ones#serval is still a musician i hope she’d just be one of those underground artists (literally haha)#also love the fact cocolia/serval r a thing in this au that makes me so happy u don’t understand :3#their yuri is NOT doomed after all :3#also… bc this is a roleswap au imagine bronya as the new supreme guardian… can u see it?#how do u think she’d act as leader?#sampo + bronya would DEF need to reign her in haha#also. do u think geppie sees sampo interacting w/ hook/clara & thinks of lynx & wants to sob when he’s separated#bc I DO. i so fucking do

So here's some more insight on the lives of the characters!

Gepard

He has this rule he set for himself that he doesn't steal from the less fortunate, guards and children. Those he does frequently steal from are nobles and since he used to be one (technically still is) he knows the obsolete worst ones. Sometimes, when he learns something particularly bad, he leaves an "anonymous" tip in Sampo's office.

He tried to grow a side business out of selling flowers. Since he's not a guard he has way more time to actually engage in his hobby, unlike his OG counterpart, he can actually keep a plant alive. However the business sadly didn't end up working out.

He does have "disguises" so he can get groceries without being chased around, although they are all kind of terrible. He doesn't know jackshit about makeup so he relies on hiding his face instead (hats, masks, sunglasses and the like). Almost all of Belobog knows this but they just kinda don't bother him cause the disguise is so bad it's sad.

Whenever Clara and Hook see Gepard in his "disguise" they try to get Sampo to arrest him cause "it's literally the guy you chase everyday, he's right here, just get him!!!!!" only for Sampo to pretend not to recognize him. Gepard goes through all five stages of grief whenever this happens.

He has accidently bumped into Luka sneaking into the restricted zone on numerous occasions and both kept it secret. They have even fought together in secret.

There are rumours of the "Phantom Shielder" amongst the guards, which is just Gepard. He keeps trying to help in the snow plains, since he feels guilty for adding to the workload of the guards by committing crimes. He believes it to the least he could do.

He is a supplier of automaton parts and the like for Oleg. Luka has a sneaking suspicion that's the case but since it's Gepard's most legitimate business venture, he doesn't bother reporting it. Oleg is, like, the closest thing Gepard has to a father figure.

Sampo

As the Captain, he rarely has time to relax alone and anytime he does have the time he spends it in the far away snow plains looking for medicine for Cocolia. He sneaks away when he's supposed to be doing paperwork. Or he "loses track of time and stays on patrol for longer periods".

He has made deals with pharmacists all around Belobog, asking for "defect medicine" that cannot be sold to the public (because of such things as a wrongly colored bottle, wrong print, a small cracks etc.). Basically, he collects it without telling the pharmacists where it actually goes. They don't really question him and he brings it to Cocolia.

He has a house near the restricted zone, not because he wants to be "closer to the actions" as he tells people, but so that he can have more alone time. You need a good reason to be anywhere near the restricted zone or you have to sneak in, so his apartment is like a safe haven to him.

He doesn't have any tells when lying, contrary to popular belief. He has fake ones that he uses to trick Natasha. She believes him to be a bad liar because of this.

Anytime he has free time (which is not all that often) he is surrounded by children anywhere he goes. If you hear manic giggling across the streets you know Sampo has a day off. He will have at least two kids around him at all times and the parents have to practically peel them away from him.

Sometimes, whenever he spots Hook bothering Gepard while he's "in his disguise" he walks over and chats with Gepard just to fuck with him. It's incredibly entertaining watching the poor guy squirm as his voice cracks in ten different ways.

He actually knows if Luka sneaked in and disguised himself as a guard because there's a standard hair length soldiers in the restricted zone have to have that Luka does not follow. He never mentions it, just let's him do whatever since he believes Luka to be capable enough. He does like ordering him around just to fuck with him, seeing Luka flinch and do anything without making a sound or "deepening his voice" so that Sampo "doesn't recognize him" is very funny to him.

Luka

As much as he hates paperwork, he's infuriatingly good at it. So he's probably staying an intelligence officer for a long while. Seele told him as much after a meeting with Natasha. He had begged Seele to bring up his situation, arguing that he's healed now and can go back to the front lines. Seele, true to her word, did mention him, but Natasha shout down any conversation about him, stating he's "too useful as an intelligence officer".

He used to have a small crush on Sampo. He was impressed by his fighting and was asking the Captain for a spar for weeks before the other agreed. It's still unknown if he still harbors that crush. The crush doesn't necessary have to romantic, it's honestly up for interpretation.

He attends every funeral, celebration and memorial held in honor of the Silvermane Guards. It's based on respect but also a little bit of guilt on his part. He believes that if he hadn't lost his arm, he would've still been in the front lines and he could've stopped some of the death that happened in the snow plains.

Whenever he is cooped up in his office for long periods of times, Clara and Hook are tasked (by Sampo, as their "superior") to get him out. Usually, they steal an important document and have him chase them all over the city. By the time he gets back, the day is over and he is ordered to go home and rest.

During his days off, he helps Oleg around the workshop. Oleg has tried to reassure Luka many times before that he doesn't need to keep helping, although all of them were in vain.

He has tried getting new hobbies to distract himself, and one that he enjoyed more than he thought he would was crocheting and knitting. He made matching scarfs for Clara and Hook and Seele called him a granny. He challenged her to a spar after that (he lost).

Whenever Luka and Gepard sneak into the snow plains together, they get into "competitions". Basically, they try to kill more fragmentum than the other. Usually, it's a tie or one of them winning by a small precent (like one or two more kills).

Natasha

Just like every other Supreme Guardian, she graduated in history. Although that's the case, she was always fascinated by human biology and the structure of the human body. She became even more interested after she met a man by the name of Vache, who told her he wanted to make a medicine specifically for people to be able to survive the bitter cold. After Cocolia banished Vache to the snow plains, Natasha brought him to Qlipoth Fort. He is still alive, even after the Astral Express' visit.

She really likes teddy bears, they used to be the only emotional support she had back when she was first selected to be the future Supreme Guardian. She had shared this information with Oleg, and since they used to be very close back in the academy, a lot of her stuffed toys were left at Oleg's place. So their absence during the Stellaron's manipulation helped her spiral quicker.

Vache lives in the lab of Qlipoth Fort and he is, basically, Stellaron 2.0. Since he also believes the Stellaron, he tries to pressure Natasha into following its plan. Natasha, isolated from any actually healthy influences, gives in and soon orders that result in more deaths than victories follow.

She and Oleg used to be very close, to the point that they even grew flowers together and used to babysit children together as a way to gain a little something something on the side. Whenever Luka reports to her, she asks about Oleg and how he's doing, every time she asks she has a wishful expression on her face.

Natasha was actually very suspicious of Sampo in the beginning, after all, before he joined the Silvermane Guards she hasn't heard a thing about him. She remained suspicious of him even after years, until the end of the Belobog arc. When he first made waves, she researched every little thing about him.

Oleg adopted Luka after his break up with Natasha, so when she first saw his last name she cried. She genuinely thought that she had missed a wedding or something.

Doctor handwriting. Even in another universe she couldn't escape the illegible doctor handwriting curse.

Seele

Used to go to the same elementary, middle and high school together with Luka. He was just a year or two younger than her. As a kid, she used to think he was okay, then during middle school she found him annoying and now it's a mix of two. However, he's probably the closest thing she has to a best friend and it's the person she trusts the most outside of Natasha.

She focuses a lot of her combat abilities. Since Natasha doesn't let her go on too many missions and she's not aware she's supposed to be the next Supreme Guardian (she is under the impression that she is just Natasha's adopted daughter) she doesn't think about the political situation or strategies all that much. She much prefers fighting the fragmentum.

Although technically she has a higher position than Sampo, whenever she gets overzealous during training or pushes herself too hard, she'll "be put in time out" by Sampo. Basically, she will be training and Hook and Clara pop out of nowhere, telling her how it's "time for a break, or else Sampo will put you in time out". She always tries to get out of it because she finds it stupid, but honestly dealing with Hook and Clara is a challenge in it of itself, so, unfortunately for her, Sampo's tactic works annoyingly well.

At first, she was struggling a lot in school, specifically with writing. When Natasha first caught wind of this, she sat down with Seele and they spent a whole evening just writing and Natasha helping Seele with school work.

For almost her whole life, Natasha and Oleg were together, so when Natasha turned distant and they broke up, she basically lost her parent. She visits Oleg's workshop every now and then, but they definitely aren't as close as they used to be. Now, unfortunately for her, the closest thing she has in her life that actively acts like a father figure is Sampo.

She regularly makes bets with soldiers in the front lines. Like, "oh, I bet Kyle can't headshot five fragmentum in a row". In general she is very friendly with them. Natasha is not a fan of that.

Luka asks her for a spar session almost any time he sees her. While it "annoys" her, she find comfort in the fact that she can tell him mood easily like that. She knows that if he's just fired up he gonna ask one or two times and if he feels bad for whatever reason, he's gonna be more persuasive.

Oleg

To him, the Neverwinter workshop was something that would've happened one way or another. He always knew that at some point he would own a workshop, however, what he didn't expect was how soon it would happen. He imagined opening it in his late forties - early fifties after passing his Stellaron research to a younger researcher. He never expected to have the nasty break up with Natasha and getting kicked out of the Silvermanes like that.

A side hobby he picked up after losing his job as a researcher was sketching. Whenever the workshop goes through a slow period with no customers or any work to do, people can find him outside, sketching whatever he sees.

When Luka lost his arm, he was devastated. He was so scared for his son he soot out Natasha, asking if she can find a better position for Luka that doesn't endanger him so much. Although he feels guilty for taking the choice from Luka, he also prefers feeling guilty with a son than feeling guilty without a son.

Back when Luka used to be in the frontlines, he wanted to meet his superior (Sampo) just to be sure that the Captain was capable. His first impression of Sampo wasn't a positive one, but after hearing about his achievements in battle, anecdotes from other guards, seeing Luka's admiration of him and seeing him around the street playing with the kids, he backed off.

He still misses Seele, even though technically she's not his kid. Even though that's the case, he still makes sure to prepare birthday gifts for her and congratulate her on any achievements.

He teaches Hook and Clara the basics of engineering. Every week he dedicates two hours for them. It's actually one of his favorite past times cause it livens up the place and reminds him of back when Luka and Seele used to be kids.

He still thinks about his research, specifically the Stellaron. He really wants to continue studying it and oftentimes thinks about it. He has a lot of theories about it but can't test any of them out.

Cocolia

She met Serval when the Landaus first moved to the Underground. While all the siblings have a positive opinion of her and they generally get along well, she and Serval clicked almost instantly. Serval helped her a lot with the orphanage, then with the clinic and finally with Wildfire.

Even though the Underground's atmosphere is pretty depressing, Cocolia tries her best make it more homey, warm and, in general, uplift the people. There's a reason why the people of the Underworld trust her with more than just medical issues.

One of her attempts to make the Underworld more welcoming was plants. Although most of them require sunlight, she got Sampo to look for ones that can survive without it. And just like that the Underworld is full of plants (as much as it can be). Unfortunately not all parts of the Underworld have a flourishing flora, the unlivable parts (thanks to the fragmentum) don't have any.

While she is a doctor and a healer is general, if it comes down to it, she can hold her own in battle. She uses a bass guitar when fighting, the one that in the original Serval broke during her companion quest.

She and Bronya have a very strong bond. They spend hours talking about different ways to optimize Wildfire. Serval helps with that too, either as the face of Wildfire or by suggesting ways to update equipment or create new weapons. Whenever Sampo is present, his input is asked as well, although he mostly helps with strategizing and ways to get rid of the fragmentum.

The hardest choice she had to make was exile Vache. She was conscious of his downward spiral when he started obsessing over blizzard immunity but the human experimentation was kept a secret from her until Lynx mentioned hearing something about it. Needless to say when she found out she was heartbroken.

She is well liked by all the children, and she always has some sort of candy on her desk. It's either for children who are being treated or, at the end of each day, the most behaved kid gets two.

Bronya

Although she didn't go to school, she knows the basics thanks to Cocolia and Serval. So now, her favorite hobby is reading. She has read as many books as she could get her hands on. Anytime she sees Sampo, she asks him to deliver her a book or two.

While she is part of Wildfire and she does fight against the fragmentum under Serval's command, whenever fragmentum activity is low, she is seen helping around Cocolia's clinic. While is mostly acts as a nurse following Cocolia's orders, she is still very skilled, to the point that other nurses sometimes call her "Cocolia 2.0".

She has learned the basics of engineering from Serval. It's a skill that comes in handy more often than not, from fixing up children's toys to helping fix equipment that was broken by the fragmentum.

The kids love her too. Whenever they get into trouble the first person they go to is Bronya due to her "not being an adult" (she is, she is just the youngest one working in the clinic so they assume she's still a teenager).

She has heard a lot about Gepard, but she has never actually met him since she wasn't adopted back when the Underworld and Overworld weren't separated. Despite this, she feels as if she had known him forever because of how often Serval and Lynx mention him. As if he's still here, with them.

She and Pela are good friends. Thanks to her, Bronya got into the Tales of the Winterlands. That series got her to wish to one day go to the topside and see the snow plains for herself. It's a wish she holds close to her heart.

She is close to Lynx as well, they spend a lot of time together due to her being the little sister of Serval. The two of them started reading Tales of the Winterlands together thanks to Pela and both of them loved it. They have spent hours talking about what they want to do in the Overworld.

Pela

She is a very important part of Wildfire not only because of her strength but also because of her great investigation skills and data collection. Thanks to her, Wildfire is not only able to catch troublemakers but also because she could predict future fragmentum activity based on the data she managed to collect.

She was the one who investigated Vache when Cocolia first heard of the rumours. She had come to Pela as a friend, asking for help, not as part of Wildfire. Pela accepted to look into it for free, and gave it her all. Let's just say the investigation wasn't all that pleasant.

She has created a fake identity that she uses to bet on herself. She is very strategic about it too. If she wins too many bets, she makes sure to stage a few loses to keep the attention away from her fake identity. She has made bank with that strategy.

Moreover, the reason she is still technically in debt is because the person she owes to is in the Overworld, so she had no way to reach him and she can't ask Sampo for help. She has a small box in her apartment that is the payment to her debt. She's not sure if there's any extra payment due to being late (although it's not really her fault) but just in case she keeps some extra shield.

Her closest friend is Lynx, they hang out together anytime Lynx isn't with Svarog. There's moments were they don't talk, Lynx just shows her picture as they cuddle on Pela's sofa and that's probably their favorite activity. However, anytime Lynx is in a talkative mood, the two of them theorize on what Gepard is doing in the Overworld.

She preforms in Mechanical Fever with Serval. It's a way for her to gain an additional income while hanging out with her friends (Serval, Lynx and sometimes Cocolia (when she's not busy with Wildfire and the clinic, which is pretty rare)). She is a drummer, her drumsticks are handmade and very sturdy (build by Serval) and she uses them when fighting as well.

She participates in a lot of food completions (like eating all 5 crabs that are in the game), but her favorites are the ones with spicy food. She and Serval were the ones with the biggest rivalry in a spice tolerance competition.

Serval

When she and her siblings first moved into the Underworld, they could only afford a one-bedroom apartment. She and Lynx shared the bedroom and Gepard slept in the living room. Soon, after Cocolia formed Wildfire, Serval go the opportunity to move. Now, she lives with Cocolia in a four-bedroom apartment, one for her and Cocolia, two bedrooms for Lynx and Bronya and the last one for Gepard.

While she is part of Wildfire, she also has her own "workshop" which is just her "experimentations" on automatons. She wants to create truly sturdy ones that can handle the fragmentum so that people don't have to risk their lives (and to also win in automaton fights shhh!!!!!).

While she doesn't like Svarog, she still helps him fix up a few things here and there, although she doesn't approve of the way they run their part of the Underworld she understands that he is an important ally. Plus, she gets access to better tools/materials.

She is still the lead singer/guitarist in Mechanical Fever. Most of her songs are about hope and a brighter future, it's her way of helping uplift the people of the Underworld. She is the most popular artist in the Underworld because of this.

When Sampo first arrived to the Underworld, she asked him about Gepard. More specifically, how he's been, if Sampo knows anything about him (whereabouts, health and the like). While he answered her questions, she asked if he could bring Gepard down, but he said "not yet". He did give her other reasons as well, but the "not yet" stuck with her.

Whenever Bronya and her go for patrols or missions together, they just talk. Like, they do get the work down, but they have insanely good coordination skills and synergy together that it's a breeze for them so it works more as a bonding moment rather than work.

The one taking care of most plants in the Underworld is Serval because they remind her a lot of Gepard and his love for plant life. On especially lonely nights she imagines his reaction to seeing how much the Underworld has changed since last time he was there.

Lynx

The reason Lynx got so attached to Svarog was because he possessed a lot of knowledge about the outside world and he could answer a lot of her questions. He once even showed her a projection of how the aurora looks back in the snow plains.

Before meeting Svarog she had tried to go to the surface to, one, find Gepard and, two, to see the Overworld once more. She went pretty far, but she couldn't unlock the Furnace Core, so she had to leave before Svarog found her.

She once confided in Pela that she doesn't remember Gepard's face, that it's very blurry for her and that she feels very guilty about it. She is frustrated because she does care about him and Serval always gets a sad distant look when he's brought up, but whenever she is trying to imagine the three of the reuniting, she can't picture it.

She has tried reasoning with Svarog on multiple occasions, but the robot never changes his mind. She still hasn't lost hope whatsoever. After all, her dream, aside from reuniting with Gepard, is to visit the snow plains.

She knows basic engineering thanks to both Serval and Svarog. Although she is not very interested in it. She prefers learning about the outside world much more, but it's useful information so she doesn't argue.

Whenever she wants to get a few extra shield, she goes to the fight club to bet on Pela. If she is not participating, she follows Pela's betting advice. She almost always wins, but that's because she doesn't visit the club that often.

When she met Sampo, she had asked for pictures of the snow plains, since she learned he fights the fragmentum there. He obliged and now she has a whole pin board dedicated to those pictures in her room.

Hook and Clara

The two of them are a very big deal in their school. They brag that THE Captain of the Silvermane Guards has them as "assistants". At first, the other kids didn't believe them when Hook said that they work for Sampo until he comes pick them up from school one day (Fersman was busy).

While the two of them have their separate bedrooms, every night they have "sleepovers" which is basically them sleeping together in each other's bedrooms. On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays they sleep in Hook's room and on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays they sleep in Clara's room. On Sundays they play rock paper scissors to decide where the sleepover will be.

Seele had to explain to them on multiple occasions that they are not official Silvermane Guards. Hook refuses to listen and Clara is just confused. Both insist that they are cause "uncle Sampo told us we are under his command!!!!!!!!! You're just jealous your boss isn't as cool as ours!!!!!"

While they get a lot out of following Sampo's orders, they are still not allowed in the restricted zone. They don't get it, and Sampo dances around the issue, ordering them to do things outside it like bringing lunch to Luka or something.

Both of them are really scared of Natasha. They've seen her once or twice in public appearances and whenever they bumped into her in Qlipoth Fort, and while at first she seems nice, something about her scares them. Most of the time whenever they see her they run to hide either behind Sampo or Fersman or Luka.

Once, Sampo had an infiltration mission but Hook and Clara kept wanting to hang out with them. Sampo noticed Gepard in his terrible disguise and told them to follow him. They ended up pestering Gepard all day instead.

Anytime there's a disagreement between them they solve it with a game of rock paper scissors. Even when doing homework. If one of them got a 7 as an answer while the other got a 100 they play rock paper scissors and list the answer as whatever the winner got.

[torque-witch]

Long post ramble

The diabolical update about my parents post-election, or more-so my dad is that he did apologize to me for texting me to sign up for Musk's petition + money giveaway "without speaking to me first" but low-key he was calling because it's his birthday today and probably because my mom yelled at him about it, mostly because it sent my sister into a panic. He said he was mostly just trying to give me an option for free money, and he is definitely money obsessed (and poor at handling it) so frankly I said I figured that was the bulk of his reasoning. But...also never actually went into talking to me about it at all. Hence, why I just say thank you and go on with my day because I know he doesn't actually want to have conversations with me about how politics affects MY life. I digress.

But then it got worse as he went on more rambling about his health and his business and a) mentioned that he believes vaccines cause autism and that he was sorry that he just trusted medical professionals when I was a baby and b) that he is now using AI to help process film to digital files in order to clean up the distortion from older film.

First of all, I said obviously it wasn't your fault for following baby medical regimen??? And mentioned that I tested pretty high on the RAADS-R and had a referral to be clinically tested so I'm already like fully totally fine with this outcome because it makes sense. It doesn't make sense because of vaccines though - it makes sense because HE is autistic. He can recognize it in my older sister because she has a lot more trouble socializing and gets visibly over-stimulated and agitated as a result, but is a lot better now at recognizing it. My dad, however, said "I don't think you seem autistic" and I had to explain that it presents a lot differently in afabs and that I still experience similar things that my sister does, but I am very good at controlling my reactions in public. No one has seen me have agitated meltdowns or the inability to speak because someone didn't understand my needs, I can't rip checks properly or because my clothes all feel like ants or hay or just that everything feels WRONG except my husband because I trust him to sit with me and not judge me for it. I still also get extremely overstimulated in crowded places which results in tachycardia, nausea or echolalia (which is often really really offensive because I mimic people's noises in the stores or phrases they say and I have to be super careful to catch myself or be super quiet because it just...comes out and I don't plan for it at all).

Anyhow I digress again, but secondly the AI shit is just like double diabolical because he specifically said he didn't tell his client (he owns a photography processing lab that he runs by himself and has for many years) AND he specifically had to buy a secondary processing chip and power source to run the program. It's bad for the environment/energy. He then asked if I've dabbled with AI and again I had to explain that I can't even post about it in a haha funny way because it's not allowed in curated art spaces and I could lose opportunities!!! "Ohhh...because you didn't do the work."

hmmm dad, hmmm.

Like...legitimately these people are supposed to have more wisdom than me. Somehow I follow Jesus' teachings better and somehow I have better empathy, and somehow I can connect with other people on more than a surface level and somehow I can sift through information on the internet and still remain somewhat cognizant of what is reality. I'm obviously not perfect, and I see so many of his mannerisms in me that have led him to become so enraptured in conspiracy. And it's 100% OCD and autism. And religious guilt/cult.

I'm grateful that all I got was stress that's eating my insides alive through the form of disease and probably autism, but my sister is the one who is suffering deeply from both a lack of educating themselves and genetic predisposition. It's not haha funny anymore, it's like oh...unfortunately my autism is pattern recognition and it's very clear how we all got here and why this family is so dysfunctional. And it didn't even have to be that bad either. The damage is done. Some things were out of everyone's control. But watching your childhood slowly turn into more of a nightmare as an adult isn't the best pasttime. I'm glad we didn't have the internet for a minute there.

Though, my mom was also deep in her fad diet era too which may have also contributed to malnutrition (we were all forced to participate as children, as in I grew up vegan but in a poor person way so it was all canned food). We did Atkins at some point, Whole 30 or whatever. Now she's gluten free and something else but not celiac. Lots of jazzercise lol. But mostly it certainly contributed to my body image as well. Even my dad pointed out that I had cellulite at like 13 as if I could do anything about it.

Anyway. Long trauma dump aside.

Why did these two get together? We will never know. I actually do know and it's not a happy story. For another time.

weeeeeeeee

[rainbow--skies]

I don't talk about my food allergies much on here because them being the One Thing half my classmates knew about me growing up and the excessive paranoia my parents shoved on me about them genuinely makes me hate doing so, and I also don't really PERSONALLY consider my allergies a disability (but I have no problem with other people doing so).

However I have noticed that whenever they get included in disability posts on here, it's always by people without food allergies who have barely any idea what the fuck they're talking about. So many people (including people with allergies!) are SO uninformed about how they work and it's worrying so here's some stuff I wish more people knew:

An Epi-Pen does not cure you it helps with some of the symptoms so you can get to the fucking hospital. You still need to go to the fucking hospital.

Food allergies CAN kill you- many people's are not that severe but they CAN kill you. Take them seriously please

Your little "haha people with food allergies are the weakest link" jokes are harmful and offensive and part of why so many people don't take allergies seriously. Stop it. You're not funny. Find a better joke. So many mainstream TV shows even do this it's disheartening

Many people with food allergies also have eczema (I used to when I was younger) or asthma (I don't but I know people who have both), the comorbidities are very common, but not universal

Airborne allergies are not very common at all and usually do not cause severe reactions and it's weird to me that people act like this is common (it kind of feels like excuse to isolate people with food allergies when food is being served sometimes) but if someone has said they do not want to be near their allergen at all you should respect this you do not know what someone's symptoms are

Cross contamination is also something not everyone suffers from (some people have low level allergies) but many of us do (including me) and you should not get offended if someone doesn't accept food they can't see ingredients/health info for or homemade food for that reason

You can be allergic to any food to any degree- people seem to have this weird misconception that it's just peanuts, nuts, dairy, eggs, and other more publicized foods but that's not true at all

If it's possible, ask people what they would prefer as an accommodation when food is being served PLEASE. Some of us would rather eat before, some would rather bring food, some would rather alternative options be offered or restaurants they can eat at be chosen. Some are fine sitting near people eating stuff we can't, some would rather sit in a separate space, and some would rather if the food was just not eaten when they are present at all. Myself and many others that I know actually would rather sit next to someone eating something we can't because it doesn't actually affect us to be near them if we're careful enough not to touch it than to sit at separate "allergen free" tables and such because it's a socially isolating experience, but there are people who would feel more comfortable eating away from others and this is okay too.

Many of us are only allergic to one or two things, some are allergic to a ton

There are less common types of allergies that don't follow the typical pattern of food allergies- as an example I have some allergies that come from oral allergy syndrome, which basically means that my seasonal allergies to certain types of pollen makes me slightly allergic to some fruits and vegetables too

Food allergies can sometimes randomly develop in teenagers and adults, they are not always there from birth or early childhood like many people think (though it's incredibly common for them to start that early). There is not a guarantee you will never get one but your chances are higher if your family has a history of them. Sometimes they can go away or decrease in severity over time too, though, but that does NOT happen to everybody

Lactose intolerance and Celiac Disease are not food allergies! They are separate conditions with separate symptoms and needs! Please educate yourselves about those too and not assume they are synonymous with food allergies

[reedfulton]

hii!! I was wondering if we can get some of your charlie/fulton hcs, or just about them in general. I saw on your fulton rarepairs post that they were one of your pairs and i’d love to hear more on what you have to say about them (bc you didn’t get to in the post) bc I really love them and their paring.

omg absolutely!! sorry, i've totally abandoned tumblr because of school commitments and stuff so i hope this ask isn't too old lmao. but anyway, here are some of my hcs for them!! they're one of my favorite pairs ever and i'm honestly very surprised that more people don't ship them.

i've always said that i think they're childhood friends. i think i posted something about it a long time ago and then proceeded to not elaborate on it, but i always thought that fulton's home life wasn't great and so he was kind of allowed (or forced) to wander minneapolis/stillwater just to get out of the house. i did the math at one point and realized that the diner that casey works at is kind of in-between the heart of minneapolis and stillwater, so it wouldn't be insane to think that fulton might have ended up at the diner a lot as a kid. i think he and casey became 'friends' first (casey practically adopted him) and then when casey brought charlie to the diner because she didn't have anyone to watch him, they became fast friends

their friendship started off so well because fulton was extremely shy and charlie could talk to a brick wall and make good conversation, so charlie didn't really expect anything from fulton and fulton has no problem sitting and listening and retaining information from stories and stuff. that's kind of how their relationship works too lmao. charlie's always talking about random things and his wikipedia deep dives and hockey stats and fulton will definitely talk back if he has something to say, but sometimes charlie just needs a sounding board and fulton is more than happy to be that for him (and charlie is very impressed with all the random stuff fulton remembers just because charlie's the one that told him)

fulton's had a crush on charlie since they were in peewees. i don't think they were still super close when fulton joined the ducks, but they definitely still spoke to each other in class and stuff, and fulton joining sparked their friendship (and fulton's feelings for charlie) again. it's a super cute puppy-love kind of crush, and fulton has absolutely no clue how to deal with it lol. it's also definitely why fulton was watching the D5 games before he ever joined the team, and why he was so ready to fight the hawks the second he had the opportunity.

they definitely have one of those relationships where most people can't even tell if they're best friends or dating. they don't really do PDA (other than charlie laying on him like a cat, which he also does with a lot of people), and 'dude' is their main term of endearment in public lol.

casey LOVES fulton so much it's insane. charlie jokes that when they come home for breaks, she's more excited to see fulton than she is to see him and hes right

fulton's the little spoon but he'd kill anyone that ever found out

charlie is exactly 3 inches taller than fulton and it pisses fulton off to NO END. charlie knows this and definitely teases him about it.

i think once charlie bulks up a bit (probably like junior/senior year) they get to a point where they can wear each other's clothes and then just. never stop. at this point they don't even know who's clothes originally belonged to who anymore.

their first kiss happens after a game where charlie got injured and fulton felt so bad that he couldn't do anything about it that he's fussing over charlie in the locker room afterwards and bumbling his way through apologizes and charlie just. kisses him to shut him up as a funny haha joke but then realizes how fulton reacted to it and is like "oh shit this is actually A Thing"

fulton fell first charlie fell harder

they don't do PDA but they're all over each other the second they're alone. both of them have definitely made the other one irish goodbye at multiple events just so they can go home and make out and cuddle

sorry if these make ZERO sense i definitely was Not writing these at work :D. but i love talking about them so thank you so much for this ask! if you have any other prompts or ideas for them or anything do not hesitate to reach out, now that my semester is over and i'm just working full-time i totally have extra time and want to be more active on here :]

[literaticat]

As an agent, how do you recommend authors handle review spaces? Most writers are also readers, but I understand it's probably looked down upon to go around giving 2-3 star reviews to who are essentially your colleagues. I enjoy having the data to look back on of my reads, but as I plan to be published in the future, I'm wondering if I need to make this private and find a private system.

A bit more broadly than your ask: In my personal opinion, writers may be readers, but reviewing spaces such as GoodReads, etc, are not for them. I would strongly suggest that for mental health purposes, authors not only NOT EVER go on GoodReads, but also block it from their computer like it is a naughty website. NSFW BABE. Don't look up your own reviews, don't look up your friend's reviews, for the LOVE OF GOD don't RESPOND to any reviews of your books or your friend's books you happen to see, and unless you have something glowing to say about a book that will uplift the author, for Pete's sake keep it to yourself. If you have potentially snarky things to say about a book or author, journal about it. Text it to the group chat. But don't post it.

As for your more specific ask: I totally understand wanting to keep book-reading data -- I do! I use the Reading List app, which is private. StoryGraph I just got but it feels like a nice interface, I'll be playing around with it, and I'd happily add books I'm reading, my TBR, etc -- but I would either keep my account private to whatever extent is possible, or I just wouldn't rate the books on that. Other people use cool personal spreadsheets, or cool notebooks. This is MY data -- I'm not keeping it to impress or inform anyone else, so why would it need to be public?

When I find books that I particularly adore, I'm delighted to post about them on socials, but I don't need or want to talk smack about books publicly, that would be totally inappropriate coming from me, and since I know and work with SO MANY editors, other agents, authors, etc -- There's pretty much NO WAY I could get away with that without inadvertently insulting somebody. And while you may be "aspiring" now -- the longer you stay in publishing spaces, the more people YOU will know and meet, too.

TRUE STORY from just this week: I was at a Little Free Library and found an old Sweet Valley High book - BEWARE THE WOLFMAN, #106. It has a hilarious jacket and cover copy, I had no idea that the Wakefield twins went through a paranormal "American Werewolf In London" era, I was obviously obsessed and posted about it on Facebook, with a pic of the front and back of the jacket. Now, this is a book that is WELL out of print, it was published when I was in high school thirty years ago, it was a friends only post and I'm not friends with the author, like, literally who would I be insulting if I made fun of this book? Oh -- well potentially my friend Dan, who chimed in immediately to say that he in fact wrote the funny jacket copy. My friend Elise, who is an agent now, but was Dan's boss in 1994 and in charge of these books. OH ALSO, I am friends with the publisher. Ahahahah OK! Yay! Luckily it truly is a bonkers book and they know that so it was all in good fun and haha teehee, but like -- it could have been WAY worse!

ANYwhoo, you asked what I think, that's what I think. This is just how I approach it. "As an agent" I would never tell my authors what they can or can't do with their lives - but this is MY philosophy: we're all here to SELL books, not bash them, so if you don't have anything nice to say, keep it to yourself, because believe me when I say, it's extremely upsetting for all parties when you give a book a shitty review and then are seated next to the author at a publisher dinner later. TRUST ME, I KNOW.

[beatcroc]

Do u think u could elaborate a lil about btb and pizza tower lore?? Thank u

oh god i'm not the most well-read on either BUT uh. spoilers for both medias i guess.....i need to stress that these should NOT be seen as like dramatic edgy series because of what's going on under the hood though, that's not the point of them or what they focus on, and it'd be a huge disservice to think of them as 'taking themselves too seriously' type things for this, haha.

EDIT: it's been a bit since i made this post and in looking around since then i've discovered i might've gotten the wrong impression about some of the pizza tower stuff. i intended to only mention what was fact/hard canon here, but some might be extrapolated anyway, so take it with a pinch of salt.

---

bigtop burger is, for all intents and purposes, a chill and lighthearted series of animated shorts about a bunch of college kids who work at a clown-themed food truck. their clown boss is more than a little strange and suspicious but they're content to let it slide because he's generally friendly and well-meaning; and again, the series is only really About the kids and their day to day lives, and the wacky cartoon antics that may occasionally come with that. such as, say, watching their boss slice a truck in two with a katana. it's a little weird for sure but we don't question it.

they have a rival burger truck, zomburger, which is zombie themed, and led by a guy who is defintiely totally not actually undead. the kids this guy employs are pretty into the whole gimmick [because theyre theater majors and "get paid like thousands of dollars per hour" <-presented as the most bizzare thing that's happened], and so have no issue doing things like firing cannons at our clown-thmed protags during a highway chase. their boss has some kind of serious beef with the clown boss, but that's their problem. the kids are chill with eachother.

what they're Not telling you is that the clowns and undead have some kind of ancient feud [possibly even a war???] going on, and zombie guy was apparently[?] only using the food truck thing as a ruse to get at clown guy. both types of guys are insanely powerful and it's heavily implied that neither of them should be mingling with normal humans in the first place, which is why the food trucks and the other employees have their respective gimmicks as cover. also magic of some kind seems to be real, with illusory and portal-type stuff seen so far.

there is a possible implication that clowns are Actually Dangerous and the zombie guy's hunting them is like warranted, but given this unrelated short by the creator apparently set in the same universe, i'd like to more confidently say that it's just zombie guy being an asshole assassin type and they're both high-ranking freaks duking it out in public which is like the worst place possible given their general disinterest in hurting anyone else.

aside: bigtop's lore is a lot more plainly-presented and actually meaningful to the series and the character dynamics, but as it is currently it's nothing more than a backdrop for The Hijinx to play off of so they still never really say anything too direct about it or have characters respond to it. [that said, the most recent episode could easily be considered a turning point so we'll see how things go from here]

----

pizza tower is, for all intents and purposes, just a funny 2d platformer game where lots of silly things happen to its really excitable protagonist and you get tons of endlessly amusing expressions and animation out of it. it feels somewhat like a playable 90's cartoon, and this is its primary charm. again, you aren't supposed to really question the framing of everything. that'd be like asking why bowser is a fire-breathing turtle. because he is. that's just how it works who gives a shit. pizza tower has you kill a big pillar guy halfway through a given level and then you have to get the hell out on a timer before it all collapses, and there's a funny little janitor guy you can get as a bonus pickup to help you out in each level. each floor of the tower has a different Theme for its set of levels. traditional game stuff. you get to the top of the pizza tower and beat up the jackass pizza guy that threatened to blow up your own pizzeria. [there's more to the gameplay than that but this is just what's lore-relevant]

what the game slides under the radar with its completely-dialogue-less style is that the big pillar guy more or less IS the tower, pillar and janitor were the original residents of the tower before it got turned into the pizza tower [yeah.], and the little janitor guy, who is pillar's brother, is generally fine with helping you destroy the place because for the past [amount of time] he's been fighting a losing battle of helping keep his bro intact in the wake of it being taken over by the jackass pizza guy, who has pretty much defiled it beyond repair for his own amusement since finding it. pizza guy cloned pillar guy a bunch of times and split his consciousness between the duplicates and made them all keep all the portals to the pocket dimensions in the tower [the levels] open. pillar guy's original body has since become derelict and horribly overgrown with.,....pizza..., and it's the last one you destroy to bring the whole thing down. he gives you a tired-looking thumbs up as you blast him off the screen.

none of this has anything to do with the protagonist, who doesn't know about any of it and is Exclusively there to beat pizza guy's ass for threatening his business. and if he has to bring down pizza guy's whole tacky-ass establishment to do that then SO BE IT.

you might notice in the larger background screenshot that the protag guy is Also being cloned in that facility. you do fight a clone of him as the 4th boss and encounter more of them in the level that background is for, but there seems to be very little concrete canon for what exactly pizza guy's intention with protag and his clones was.

aside: this isn't even touching on the other side to this, which is the weird amount of actual character depth that mr. funny cartoon protag man himself seems to have. i am not going to get into that on this post because it will make me really abnormal but oh my god dude.

[spurious]

fic writer 20 questions

I was tagged by @alienfuckeronmain & @nimuetheseawitch to do this one!

How many works do you have on AO3? 108. I need to add some ficlets to my collection but I've been slacking a bit on that, so.

What’s your total AO3 word count? 274,716

What fandoms do you write for? Star! Gate! At! Lan! Tis! The hyperfixation is strong ok. It's the thing that shook loose my half-decade dormant desire and ability to write, so. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 1. Twenty Questions, 248 kudos 2. Ink and Wings, 221 kudos 3. Five Times Rodney (and John) Visit the Millers, 190 kudos 4. Solitary in a Wide Flat Space, 163 kudos 5. Abercrombie & Rodney, 151 kudos

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I really try to!!! One of the things that was not good about posting all my ficlets onto AO3 in quick succession was ending up with more comments than I could handle, so now I have a...backlog. Getting comments makes me feel so good though, and I just...want to honor the effort made with some of my own in return? Idk, I've talked about this a fair bit in a handful of posts but I'm just really not used to the amount of interaction I get in SGA fandom and I still feel.......very blessed lmao. Bleh sincerity on main how gross

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? We Are Standing On the Edge, a Jin/Kame fic about a road trip and the apocalypse which I wrote for @merionettes in a fic exchange in 2010.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Most of my fics either have happy endings or implied happy endings? I like making good things happen to the characters I love so much. Sometimes after making bad things happen to them, but. At any rate, O I Think We Should Be Brethren is my personal happiest ending because of how long and hard a journey it is to get there.

Do you get hate on fics? I got a hate comment once, on the (in)famous Kanjani Cannibalism Fic.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Do I ever! I like to write kinky sex as a means of exploring and facilitating vulnerability. I also like to write blowjobs.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I've never written a crossover! ..............I don't think, at least.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I am aware of.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! A couple of my Johnny's fics have been translated into Russian and Chinese.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not to completion.

What’s your all time favorite ship? Yokohina, Sakura/Syaoran, McShep...don't make me choose between my children like this??? Sakura/Syaoran literally invented romance for my teenage self, like I am not kidding at how formative of a ship that was for me in my life. Also why I started learning Japanese, so. Yokohina will forever be beloved to me in the same way that Kanjani8 will forever be beloved to me, in a way that is (literally) tattooed into my flesh, in a way that influenced my life massively, in so many aspects. I will never not be thirsty for the two of them saying weirdly romantic things about each other in public forums, for them being the solid foundation upon which their group is built. For Yoko being a pigtail-pulling twelve year old boy towards Hina even as they're in their mid-forties. AND THEN THERE'S FUCKING MCSHEP. A ship that I knew about when it was popular and brushed off as an Any Two White Guys, Migratory Slash Fandom Thing. A ship that, when my wife and I started watching SGA, we said "haha wouldn't it be so funny if we ended up being all in on mcshep?" A ship that resonates in my heart in the most bizarrely intense way and shook loose the desire to write and create from its atrophied place in the back of my head. I love them. I hate them. They're perfect.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I have about 25k of a later-years yokohina friends to FWB to lovers fic that I wish I could finish but the McShep brainrot is.........so strong. On the other hand, never say never?

What are your writing strengths? haha so much harder to answer this than weaknesses!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I can write good funny dialogue, which is amazing to me because when I started writing my dialogue was horrendous, just absolutely awful and stilted and I hated writing it so much! like it was a running joke between me and my best friend at the time that I could not write anything that sounded even remotely natural or like real human speech. guess that shows that practice makes perfect or whatever? idk.

What are your writing weaknesses? endings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ensemble casts/scenes with more than two people in them. plots more complex than simple romantic contrivance.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? nah. It always feels a bit fanfiction.net anime fandom to me?

First fandom you wrote for? speaking of fanfiction.net anime fandom....I wrote Sakura/Syaoran angstfic into a notebook when I was 13. The first things that I actually shared with other people were either Harry Potter or the fics I wrote about the boys at my church who were just unnecessarily homoerotic with each other in the way that only teenage church boys can be (iykyk)

Favorite fic you’ve written? guess. 🙃

Tagging: @sga-owns-my-soul @stargayatlantis @hearteyesmcgarrett @texasdreamer01

[radellama]

Tagged by @sandushengshou thank youuuu!

~~

1. why did you choose your url?

It's an evolution of a suggestion @woogly-boogly made actually. We were probably 14~ish and I was saying I didn't really have any ideas for a name for my art account I was going to make, and he suggested adellama as a pun on my name and cause I like llamas. Made it radellama cause my nickname is Rads and it sounds cooler lolll

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

Yeas, I used to hoard a few urls for chrono related names but now I don't have any of them cause it got my account sniped for a time 😑

@chrono-the-babe - the chrono blog. It's bigger than my main lmao I love it. I've put effort into making it the best archive of fan shit for chrono that I can, I'm not always up to date with it but I have been going for years and I'm not stopping now

@radellama-art - my art archive, just a nicer place to look through all my art in one place cause sometimes I post on other blogs, but everything rbed to there is mine

@our-ends-will-shine-like-stars - made a blog for this au fic cause it's massive, and I have so much planning and art and stuff for it and don't wanna spam my ct blog too much, so here it goes!

@abe-and-orc - Abe and Orc. I'll post on there properly when I actually have more stuff to show and I start making the comic..... But they're my OCs, gotta nab the url here while I can haha

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

God idk. a little over a decade by this point probably

4. do you have a queue tag?

Used to but I don't really use the queue function anymore. I'm just rbing LMAO

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

I liked seeing the text posts on Pinterest, and when I got here it was so cool to see Loz fanart and stuff for the music I liked at the time!! It was fun making friends and sending each other fan mail on here lollll

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

THEY'RE MY GAY BOYS!! It's Magus (light blue hair, from chrono trigger) and Harland (dark blue hair, my OC I made specifically to be gay with him lmao) I like them!!!!!!

7. why did you choose your header?

It's a funny meme I redrew to be magland 😏😏

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

This one

9. how many mutuals do you have?

Don't count them, and there's no tracker lol

10. how many followers do you have?

149

11. how many people do you follow?

686

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

Yeah probably, idk

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

I usually check in once a day, maybe twice if I have time lol. Otherwise if I'm busy or something I just go on when waiting for public transport or during a lunch break type moment, or just wait until I go to bed and scroll for a bit. Sometimes I just take breaks and don't go on for most the day or skip a day or two just cause I'm not feeling it, or I'm too busy and don't really have the time. It's whatever

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Yeah a few very brief responses but it's not a big deal lol, I try not to get wrapped up in that stuff too much. I'm pretty liberal with blocking if I'm not vibing

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts

Fuck off

16. do you like tag games?

Yeas

17. do you like ask games?

Yeas

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Thog

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

No. The most would probably be infatuation cause they're cool

20. tags

@woogly-boogly @chemicalbrew @just-wublrful @lobotomy-maybe-bestie @controlvariable @future-dregs @fanimefreak @kanonavi @darksideofthemamon @aliciaevers and anyone else who would like to. No pressure as always!

[captainclervals]

NO FOR REAL the way the people on here talk about disabled people and characters is straight up EVIL. I cannot fathom the horrible way they'll talk about things like Frankenstein like the takes aren't already bad enough. The things they say are so destructive toward us even if they think they're just heehawing at a character, the second ableism comes up it stops being funny and they don't even get it

YOU'RE SO SO RIGHT ... you get it 😭 I'm so sorry you're also affected by what a prevalent issue it is but I'm also glad to know I'm not just being overly critical or pedantic HAHA I don't want to be mistaken as just trying to gatekeep a bajillion-year-old public domain book from new readers because that's not at ALL what I'd like, it'd be nice to have new artists and enjoyers and friends to meet! but while it should be fun and accessible and not feel like another high school class full of rules and guidelines on what to write, we also need to speak out on offensive humor and portrayals... not on behalf of a character but because, like you said, it's destructive to the real people right alongside us!!

I have a ball with comedy and jokes! I don't feel like classic literature is a sacred thing only to be approached with academic sobriety, BUT everyone has that responsibility to have fun in a way that isnt going to implicate real world people. a lot of folks hate Victor, I get it, and despite him being my favorite character I'm unfazed by just general dislike because if it's just a matter of taste/opinion, that's fine! I don't like everyone else's favorites!

but unfortunately from what I've seen it's rarely as respectful as that... it's very easy to list the reasons for hating him such as, he's useless, he's pathetic, he's annoying, he takes advantage of/is a burden on his friends and family... and typically they won't go all the way down to why but it's still there: because he's chronically ill? because he's disabled? not going into the moral aspects or whatever, we're just apparently cracking on him because he's prone to fainting and wild emotional spells and spends long periods being bedridden and requiring care, and because he can't/doesn't do something of equal magnitude in return, he's a bad friend and a burden and should have been left to suffer alone? and it's just funny because it's weak and effeminate to have bad health I GUESS? and he made bad choices so he deserved it or something? (the classic "if you're disabled you brought it on yourself somehow") I've literally seen people say he manipulated clerval and walton into caring for him and that they should have left him to die alone??

😩 I really don't believe the jokes are made in bad faith but there should just be more awareness of the fact that disabled people are so apt to see others, even their friends, subtly (or not so subtly?) say "it's joke material to be that sick! people who require care are bad friends/family members and your able-bodied loved ones also think you're a parasite!" it's just so ingrained in people that I'm pretty sure the majority don't even realize at all the implications of what they're using as a punchline. like do y'all think I should be abandoned by my friends and family and should die alone so I'll stop wasting their time and resources? I really doubt anyone does (ufgsj at least I hope not) but that's how I FEEL seeing some of these posts!

this is literally what made me so much more reserved and afraid of my own disability and how it looks to other people! seeing people make that exact kind of joke about frankenstein was a negative turning point in my perception of myself! I honestly somehow didn't fully recognize until seeing people laugh, right in front of me, about how weak and pathetic the chronically ill character is FOR being chronically ill and that he didn't deserve the love of his friends in caring for him when he wasn't able to take care of himself and it hit me that THIS is how people see me!! weak for being disabled, useless, and a parasite for needing assistance in simple tasks while contributing very little to the world! I've become even more hesitant about sharing details of my experience with chronic illness and far more reluctant to ask for help even when I desperately need it—

I very rarely discuss details of my disability, so most people don't even know that it's such a deeply personal struggle, but I don't feel like you should HAVE to disclose your medical history just to keep those around you aware enough to not use disability as an insult or punchline. I really don't think it should be necessary for someone to just rein in ableism politely just while someone disabled is in the company. you never know who is listening or how they feel! so out of kindness and respect it's just the decent thing to focus the victor malice towards, y'know, things like his moral failings and NOT towards his mental or physical health (and even then some of what I see typically classified as his moral failings actually are tied at least in part to his health but that's another discussion LMAO)

and not even really touching on the mental health aspect because I feel like USUALLY people are more inclined to treat that with sensitivity (even though I have seen PUBLISHED BOOKS talk about the whole "victor was delusional and imagined the monster to shield himself from the fact that HE killed his friends and family" thing. which i despise as a psychotic person with paranoid delusions. gotta love the constant reminder that generally people assume that if you experience psychoses you must be violent and always one thread away from a killing spree...). but stuff like having bouts of illness after strong emotion or needing friends to help ground you during paranoid spells or addiction resulting from a coping mechanism ARE ALSO not something to laugh at and call a weakness!

[t1erradelfuego]

YOU LOOKED AT ME AND THEN I KNEW! (deeply insane jacktrevor thoughts below)

having THOUGHTS about them right now and i need to vent it or else i will Explode like the Sub okay. i was not a jacktrevor girlie until i saw trevor in the stands with jim hughes + that candid photo of the two of them laughing ntdp-era on the streets of NY and there’s been some seriously insane scholarship on jacktrevor here like hello it is making me so insane i wish i had the words for it. its like. ok what if we met when we were 15 and we knew that we were going to be each other’s person for the longest time and we loved each other so much that we’re mirror reflections of each other and i can’t tell where you end and i begin. what if we were 15 and we promised ourselves to each other. what if. nothing ever happened because we were 15 and we knew it wasn’t going to end well and we wanted to be 15 so we carried on as friends, watched each other hook up across the room at house parties, crawled into each other’s beds at the end of the night without ever touching each other, went through the draft and the growing up and the living without each other and finding out that we’re still each other’s persons. what if i make it to the playoffs before you did. so you went to watch the game with my dad. and then i realized we were no longer 15. GODDDDDDDD. the specific vibe that has been crawling into my chest is being stunned by the enormity of your feelings like one day you wake up normal and the next day you realize you’re in love. where’s that tumblr post about the not romance not platonic but a secret third thing where the lines are so blurred the thought of romance hangs over your head like a guillotine. YEAHHHH. that’s such a guillotine to hang over someone’s head like! what if you already did all the hard parts of baring your worst self to each other, getting into a relationship but doing the steps in all the wrong order that the thought of defining your relationship gives you a headache because how do you even begin to define whatever soulmate fuckery these two have been on since they were 15! where do i even begin with girl jack. still a fuckboy. still flirting. still got incomprehensible confidence. looks up to see trevor chatting animatedly with her dad in the stands and panicking on ice when she realizes she has extremely specific feelings about this, about trevor’s who’s always matched her step for step.  i think there is also something sooooo insane about trevor and his very public relationships and how he is Failing at romance in general. girl jack having to live through that and going “i could never imagine being one of trevor’s flings.” and then she does self reflection and realizes she doesn’t want to be one of trevor’s flings because she wants something More Than That. girl trevor would also make me insane. still fucking around and fumbling her way through relationships. jack ribs her all the time about that except he’s also a little on edge watching it happen in real time hoping it never happens to him which is haha SO funny jack you absolute silly little goose. why would you think trevor would want to date you? you’ve been friends forever, if something was going to happen it would’ve already happened. cmon man it’s a little misogynistic to think that every girl who’s your friend wants to date you. ellen raised you better than that cmon jack. besides. why are you thinking about trevor dating you. why are you scared of something that you say could never happen. why do you live in fear of the idea that she could break your heart. how could she break something she doesn’t have. right? hmm.  anyways i think there is no easy for them to be in a relationship. years of seeing each other hook up with other people and also knowing the deepest, ugliest parts of each other and also just. having deeply intertwined lives and shared social circles and history and friendship. i think it would deeply terrify them to see each other in a romantic light after all these years. they grew up together! they know each other best! how could they put themselves in such a vulnerable position of losing each other, of losing what they have? it would be the hardest relationship of their lives. so like, why do it?  thinking deeply about the insane media and personal speculation also because i LOVE acknowledging the very real effect of other people’s opinions. people  going “of course you were going to end up together!” and other people placing bets on whether or not they were going to end up together like. of course people have opinions. part of it is Media, Baby, that’s what you get for being the franchise center but part of it is also. who they are as people. and their personas just inviting public speculation. they preform the role of a celebrity extremely well! like maybe they should get together because that’s what people expected? maybe they shouldn’t get together because that’s not what people expected? how do you manage a deeply personal relationship that survived childhood but is now subject to the media. and then the actual logistics of being together like in what world does it make sense to do long distance for a decade. like. hello they are both respective franchise centers. no one is moving anywhere. except maybe trevor to the rangers but ANYWAYSSSSSS. i just think they should crawl into bed together, coming home from a bar after watching each other hook up the whole entire night and not say anything as they fall into a deeply unrestful sleep, shoulders pressed against each other. 

[rrelationshipadvice]

1/2 Husband & I are in our 30s and been together most of our adult lives. We are monogamous. We have talked a lot over the years about this sort of thing and have agreed that we both are monogamous. I think a lot of couples have the threesome, fwb, poly, etc kind of conversations and we have always agreed that we both prefer having a committed monogamous relationship. To me that and especially marriage means you are completely devoted to that person. They are your favorite person. You would choose them over everyone else. You are the most in love with/attracted to that person. They're your person! To me there's no point having a monogamous relationship without the devotion. Otherwise I could just be single and maybe have some fwb or something but I want (prefer) that whole you are the hottest most amazing person I love you more than anyone sort of thing. I guess I'm a hopeless romantic haha. I fell in love with someone that way and that's what I want from our relationship. I thought he did too. We have a good sex life for the most part. I don't think either of us have many complaints about the quality or frequency. So here's my issue I guess. I saw public posts he made about various porn stars and just women in general. I don't love it but I'm fine with him watching porn. Sometimes I do, not often but I have before. I don't really like it for a lot of reasons. But masturbation is great! I'm fine with him doing what he needs to do. He's fine with me doing what I need to do. But he knows the porn stars by name. I couldn't name anyone. I would never want to be able to especially while I'm in this kind of relationship. I can't imagine having a parasocial relationship with some OF dudes or porn stars like he does. He says he follows some of the OF girls on social media because they are funny shitposters and he doesn't even notice the porn they post. How am I supposed to believe that! He made the comments about some of these girls on social media. I don't know why he would want to post these comments publicly at all knowing I and others who know us could see them. Comments like hot, wow, so beautiful, amazing, I love her, she has a perfect body, I think I'm in love, she's so perfect, her face is so perfect/beautiful.

2/2 He adds/follows girls on social media who have OF and post thirst traps, nudes, or even just flirty text posts about how horny they are. Stuff like that. I believe people can post whatever they want (I'm not upset at these women) but I've made it clear I'm very uncomfortable with this. That this crosses a boundary for me. And I have always been very vocal about how I feel about this before we got together. I believe if you are in a committed monogamous relationship you should have a firm boundary between yourself and others when it comes to sex. Like I've seen people and thought hey that person is attractive but I don't interact with their horny posts or post publicly that I think they are hot. It is extremely disrespectful to me to do that to your partner. This isn't what monogamy means to everyone but it's what it means to me. And I have been very clear about that. And he says he agrees! But I don't know if I can believe he does. I would never talk about their body either especially not in a way that might make my husband feel inadequate or that I didn't prefer him or anything like that. He's liked things and interacted with posts not just about looks but also about behavior. Things I didn't realize he liked girls to do or ways for them to behave. When we're together, when we talk, he acts like he only is attracted to people who are like me both physically & personality-wise. He has never actually showed any attraction towards anyone with a similar body/personality to me, besides me. Not celebrities or anything. They are all more like the porn stars & only fans girls he apparently is attracted to. Not only do these girls have very different bodies, and faces, and hair colors, etc. than me but also personality/behaviors/interests are very different. I don't think I am anything like what his "type" is. I am finding it harder and harder to believe he really loves me and is actually attracted to me both physically and mentally/emotionally. He makes comments about me wearing certain things or changing how I look and I feel like it's because he wants me to be more like these women. I don't feel he loves me for me anymore. I think maybe at one time early on he did. Maybe not. I don't know. I don't know what to do. I know if the roles were reversed. If I was doing these things he wouldn't be able to stand it. And he's said as much! I believe some of the things he's done he would've left me over if I had done them. I don't know how he can hurt me in ways he knows would hurt him. I express how much this hurts me and he says sorry he won't do it again and then keeps doing it. I feel so lost. We've made our whole lives around each other and I like spending time with him. He's my best friend. We just have this one issue and I am having such a hard time moving past it or getting over it. I feel so hurt and lost. I don't know what to do. Thoughts? Opinions? Advice?

.

[avo-kat]

i was checking my drafts (for the irrational fear that there will be a bug that suddenly releases all your posts in draft; this has no basis on reality, so dont worry), and found this post from march 1st 2023.

its me working out that im definitely not trans:

dont mind me, im just sitting here and thinking out loud

me: oh im just a regular woman. not straight. but otherwise normal. thats all. :) [pre 2020]

me: hm actually. you know what? hmhm. something is up

me: no its fine. its time. i came out as lesbian to my friends! this is great. i love this. time to buy... lgbt merch. [around 2020]

me: what kind tho... hm.... somehow.... u know? normal rainbow stuff is fine, right?

me: hmmmm im not feeling so good actually??? [around 2021]

me: is that... u know what.... i think i may be.... non-binary? i thought this was only smth for kids but looking into it, huh, i guess so!

me: now i can wear more boy clothes. and walk a bit more masc. thats kinda fun. mens tank top. mens shorts. baseball cap. i feel awesome. hairy legs. hairy armpits. hell yeah!

me: but im just nb im not trans thats not being trans

me: i dont wanna intrude or take away or smth im just nb

me: im fine being the way i am no need to do hrt or anything really

me: and honestly, i dont wanna lose my identity as a queer woman!!! i love being a queer woman! well ok not a woman anymore but im still like, sapphic! that kinda thing!!! im deathly afraid of losing this part of my identity!

me: im super fine w my body and im fine staying this way and also being my agab at my job

me: besides im so cute now and id deffo look ugly as a guy

me: i dont even like guys that much so like come on

me: that one guy is giving me such gender envy. thats just 1 exception tho [around 2022]

me: i prefer he/they but im fine with all pronouns :)

me: i like it when ppl use male words for me. just makes me feel good. nothing else :)

me: (i have no dysphoria cuz im nb im not trans)

me: its cool im fine

me: hmmmmmmmmm

me: mhmhm eeeh

me: im not feeling so great again thats so weird....??? [late 2022/early 2023]

me: mhmhmhmhmh

me: oh look im growing facial hair

me: guess ill shave. thats annoying. kinda cool but annoying

me: oh wow i gotta shave more often huh thats so annoying

me: hm hair is growing more... actually... feels nice touching my hairy face kinda

me: oh well i gotta shave for work, so

me: ach. why does that feel unpleasant?

me: oh well. heh, if i were a man (im not tho), some things would be kinda fun!

me: if i were a guy. that would be fun. like. purely hypothetical, yknow?

me: like if i suddenly got the superpower to change my appearance. that would be sooo cool. just cuz.

me: wouldnt that be fun. it would. it would be so fun.

me: not trans tho

me: def not trans. i feel shaky and queasy just thinking of it. im not

me: just nb. im fine. im fine staying like this. like. im. im fine.

me: like sure im not like super comf

me: thats on me deciding not to be more gnc in public. yeah. it would be such a hassle

me: yeah. what if tho lol. can u imagine. god, telling my boss? no way man that wouldnt fly

me: and id be so ugly. im cute right now. and im not strong. or build. and im too fat. if i were to be a man id wanna be, like, hot, yknow? strong and sharp jawline. if i were to be guy. im not. i wouldnt. im not trans lol

me: lemme write this fanfic real quick. just smth self-indulgent. what if i woke up in the body of the main character of this shounen anime lol. id be a boy lol. like. id be a man. mans body lol. that be fun lol. and what if i managed to fall in love with that male character. wed be so gay together. haha. two guys. such a funny idea

me: .....................

me: like what if i got top surgery.

me: like, sure. a year ago i was scared of losing my boobs. like if i had breast cancer and had to remove them. id look so off. my body would look wrong. boobs are an important visual element.

me: but what if i got top surgery. like. i hate bras. i dont like them being touched much either honestly so i wouldnt really lose anything? it would be more comfy for me day to day. and while sleeping. so, honestly, only upsides?

me: ...what would i need, theoretically. hm. half a year of therapy? oh. yeah. no. im not trans. so. yeah.

me: ....................

me: like, what name would i even pick. idk. well doesnt matter. im not trans.

[new addition, july 2023] me: im trans :D

[darkaviarymc]

Long as post that I won't be replying to comments on or answering asks about. Clowning gets you blocked Mother of Fuck I'm pissed rn:

Text: I said a few years ago I will not comment on politics anymore. I did this for many years, you can see my timeline. I did my bit and more.

When Doccy was born, I decided to no longer fight 1000s of random people on a daily basis online because it affected my health.

Text: I will say one thing: Don't confuse virtue signalling with actually doing something.

Text: What I mean by virtue signaling is, that I think it is wrong to think you are doing a good deed for the cause if you try to put pressure on ccs to make certain statements.

You should imo opinion focus your efforts in sharing links instead of attacking ccs. No?

Tesxt: Also, if you come at me because I see war and humans murdering eachother as the outcome of politics, be ready to be blocked from now on.

What else is it, when humans murder eachother in a genocidal conflict?

It is the outcome of failed politics.

God damn it. I am so angry now.

Text: Ok, last statement to this whole thing now.

I hope that is a reasonable point for you guys. Listen carefully.

What we try to do is to give people a place to have peace of mind.

In a world, that is full of bad things, we see our mission in providing moments of relief. These few minutes a week, where you tune into Hermitcraft, give you a chance to not think about murder, war, problems, pandemics and so on and so on.

This is the main reason, I personally made a few years ago a distinct decision. I will try my best, to keep my feeds "wholesome".

Text: This doesn't mean I don't care or am ignorant to what is going on in the world. In opposite, me trying to provide this place of escape is my way of trying to contribute to the fight for what is right. In a way, providing a place to recharge so you can go and keep on fighting your fight. I cannot fight all your fights with you personally though. You get what I am trying to say? I sit here with tears in my eyes of guilt and frustration because I feel weak because I am not able to lead the charge and all these battles that need to be taken on. I just can't. It is too much to ask for from a cc. It is such a complex topic. There are countless unjust things going on in the world. So many people need a helping hand. How do you pick and choose?

So please, I know you are deeply passionate and hopeful your favorite ccs

Text: Also, on a more funny note: When discussions like this morning happen, I am always literally shocked how dense people think ccs are, lol.

I guess it doesn't look good for the general perception of ccs, haha.

I literally feel some of you assume my IQ must be 20 or so.

Text: Like, I sit in a sensory deprivation chamber not knowing what is happening in the world you know?

So it frustrates me if people for example say: No, I am not dogpilling. I am just trying to educate about the topic xyz that is literally dominating public debate as we speak.

Text: oh my god, you wrote an entire essay to explain why you haven’t been speaking up on the genocide. you’ve been arguing with your supporters all morning because of it. idk you could’ve instead retweeted helpful resources and shared dono links?

Text: Or, you could read the "essay" where I explain my reasoning why it is very difficult for ccs to fulfill your wishes in regards of signal boosting on demand? Come on now. What are we doing here?

I hit image limit, so I'll have to reblog for more.

Jesus Tittyfucking Christ I hate Twitter.

If you're one of the asshats harassing Doc, go away. Block me and never interact with me again.

[1111jenx]

Placements that like to cuddle a lot? :)

Hey you,

This is so cute haha. Yes I have for sure seen some trends when it comes to this! While some people are so reluctant to physical touches others seem to love it, we'll talk about the latter for this post;)

Love language astro:

Physical touches

Taurus rising/ Libra rising: I have never met a Venusian child that don't like physical touches from their loved ones (assuming they don't have any other placements that cancel this out). Taurus rising especially, LOVEEE cuddling and holding hands it's honestly adorable. I'd say that while some of these natives don't enjoy PDA everywhere everytime, they do love a lil spice here and there in public. But in private, they're the sweetest most wholesome people ever. Venus is love. So these people love love, they live for that affection, for that heartwarming moments. Being surrounded by Venusian people, I have now got used to this habits of theirs. My friend would try to hold my hands everytime we're crossing the road and my s/o (also a libra rising) honestly give me butterflies simply by playing with my fingers😭 Y'all are that flirty huh. ( OH also this is why they're great flirts too, they're not that afraid of physical flirtations like brushing others arms or touching their faces LOL)

All earth moons: Lemme elaborate, I'd put a warning here before y'all go off on me about Capricorn moon🤣 earth is physical, it is the material world, it is what concrete and real and the moon-our emotions, our inner feels and basic foundations -> earth moons in general THRIVE off physical affections with their loved ones (literally only their loved ones don't come to them and start hugging them if y'all just meet, please.) in my opinions, earth moons can come off so so so cold? like they just look unfazed and unimpressed sometimes, so dry tbh💀 HOWEVER, they're not. thats the thing. most earth moons i know really really really like it when their loved ones curled up with them and give them hugs and kisses. even if they acted all grossed out and unbothered, trust me they love it. These people are most likely to crave your attention physically once they're used to it. Taurus moon, Venusians right here, so not much of a surprise when they ask you to come over and cuddle on the sofa while ordering takeouts huh, such sensual people tbh. Virgo moon, more harsh than taurus moon in terms of it can seem a lil awkward here and there with them, but they will show love in multiple way, they will hold your hands tighter as you cross the road, will hug you before you leave for work, will kiss your forehead and make a sarcastic comment after a fight, truly cuties. Capricorn moon maybe is the least obvious out of the three, their faces would literally look shocked if someone start hugging them or opening up to them ( its rly funny im sorry i love yall tho LMFAO). but they will accept it and get used to it so fast, believe it or not they're the one that needs physical reassurance from their s/o all the time HAHAHAHA capricorn moons yearn for closer connection but they hate people (true story) so they just don't look for it and expect it to come to them LOL. give your cap moon friends a hug for me!

Leo Venus/ Leo Moon/ Leo Rising: To be fair I put Leo Rising here without thinking much because I have Leo Rising, but when I think about it critically I think Leo Rising can be extremely similar to earth moons when it comes to physical affections, they secretly love it but can be a bit shy about it (cancer 12H). But Leo Venus and Leo Moon on the other hands😌 Their need for attentions is insane. Gonna ask you every 5 minute is it true that you don't love them anymore because you didn't look at them for a sec💀 Kiss them in public and watch their eyes brighten in happiness and awe. Squeeze their waist tight and intertwined your fingers with theirs and watch them fall in love with you even more. PDA kings and queens. If its not extra they don't want it. I'm not gonna lie, Leo Moon/Venus is the one who wants to keep cuddling for hours and keep jumping on their s/o bones💀 Also they're that annoying couple that can't stop kissing HAHAHA. Me and my s/o literally have separation anxiety and boundaries issues LOL (both Leo Venus).

Cancer Venus/Mars: secretly lowky, they know they get attached and needy fast when they let loose so they put up a front. VERY AFFECTIONATE.

Mars in the 4th house: They are honestly such softies. They love love loveeeeeee physical attention and thrive in their blankets🤣

Libra, Aries, Pisces, Scorpio, Leo Mars: Libra Mars might seem the most detached but similar to Cancer Mars, its just the front:) They require a lot of cuddles too.

Taurus/Libra Venus/Scorpio Venus: Scorpio Venus the type to ask you whats your deepest darkest secret and will fall for you when you open up to them. they like constant attention (surprise) and physical attention is greatly appreciated. may be very shy sometimes but so lovable and adorable. Libra&Taurus Venus on the other hand is very relaxed and can come off as easy going, but they're HELLA demanding in love, very forgiving but need as much of attention as Leo placements haha💓

Mars conjunct Moon, Mars sextile/trine Moon too ( Bonus points if they're in house 2,4,7 haha )

Ceres(our second moon sign, show what we need to feel nurtured ) conjunct/trine/sextile Mars

Moon sextile Venus: the Moon and Venus are both very soft and unique planets, they both require A LOT of attention

4H ruler harmonious aspects to ASC/ Moon/ Mars

Up here are a few I can think as of right now:) I'll keep you updated if I do come up with more!!💖

love,

saint jenx🖤

[zuluc]

summary: maybe thinking about you affects them more than they thought? or have they really realized just how much you occupy their minds? who knows, but it is pretty cute to know their reactions to you whenever you may be mentioned in conversation

pairings: childe, diluc, & xiao x gn!reader

style & genre: written; fluff, modern!au

notes: the albedo museum date will have to be rescheduled because i found this in my drafts and never remembered to post it haha. to be honest idk what this was supposed to be exactly so i’ll just say a little slice-of-life genre in school with the boys

and also i am living for the friendship pairings i put here

i am so drained from school and i need one of them irl rn please 🤧

Childe

“I’m telling you I’m fine!” Childe scoffs as his friend insists on shoving him in the direction of the nurse’s office. He hisses when a particularly sharp jab is directed into his side and his friend huffs, clearly satisfied at the reaction and annoyed at Childe’s reluctance to get himself checked.

“Fine, you say. You have to stop picking fights when you know you can avoid them.” Kaeya chuckles, knowing this’ll just go in one ear and out the other with him, but it never hurt to try. Especially with the recent information that allowed the blue-haired student to have the upperhand.

A smirk appears on his face and Childe raises an eyebrow in confusion and wariness. “What?”

Kaeya shrugs, a mischievous grin now overtaking his features as he walks ahead of the other. “I suppose that y/n will be sitting alone in the office, waiting for the bell to ring for their next class.” He doesn’t have to turn around to see Childe stop his tracks as he takes in the information.

“Th... They’re in the nurse’s office?” Childe looks up slowly to see Kaeya tilt his head, “Are you messing with me right now?” Kaeya only laughs and walks away, waving his hand in the air. 

“I mean, I did say you should get yourself checked but if you don’t want to then--” Childe doesn’t hear the rest of his friend’s statement as he limps over to the room where you were waiting.

It wasn’t like you knew he would walk in with “minor” injuries, as he says,  and a bright smile on his face that he only seemed to have whenever he was around you.

Diluc

This is hopeless.

Diluc leans back in his seat during the break they’re given and stares out the window to see you walking with your friends. They must have said something funny to have you laughing, a light look on your face that has his cheeks dusted pink in seconds. 

His ears pick up the scraping of a chair on the floor and he flips his notebook closed to hide the small notes of practice confessions he wrote while he should have been listening in on the lesson. It was none other than Lisa who seemed quite cheerful in contrast to himself.

“Whatcha thinking about?” She nods her head over to his hastily closed notebook as she smiles knowingly at the warmth on his face. Her voice is considerably louder with her next statement that has him nearly shutting her up with his own hands, “Could it be about your dear, sweet y/n?”

Her voice tapers off at the end so the rest of their classmates couldn’t hear the name, but their stares indicated their intrigue. It was very surprising for the ever cold and stoic Diluc Ragnvindr to have a crush on someone. Many have confessed, and all were rejected, and they assumed there would be nothing to be done to win his heart.

That is, unless you were y/n l/n.

His classmates shudder at the glare he gives them and return to their own conversations. He wasn’t mad, just slightly embarassed.

Lisa deems his current state finished for her daily teasing and leans in to give him a word of advice. But really, it was yet another word of truth that he could choose to believe or not.

“I have a feeling that they feel the same about you.” She leaves with a little hint of a smile and Diluc is left to his thoughts once more. He ponders over her words, generally the same ones he hears from her whenever she sees he’s thinking of you. And it’s important to note that Lisa has good intuition.

Maybe his plan to confess wouldn’t be so hopeless after all.

Xiao

To be able to hang out and keep up someone like his closest friend took all Xiao had in himself for social interaction. It wasn’t like he absolutely hated it, but he preferred to not speak to anyone lest they get the wrong idea from his “normal” tone of voice.

Venti shoves another book in his face to look at and he scowls at the title, “How to Date The Person You’ve Been Pining Over For Years Now.” Why was there a book like this in the school library and who the hell decided that this was a good title to go through publication? Now, Xiao would never admit it to being true because he hated how he felt very called out at the moment.

“The books don’t lie, my good friend.” Venti muses, placing the book in his arms before skipping off to avoid it being shoved back at him. Xiao sighs and tries to find its place on the shelf only to realize that he is now left alone in the self-help section. He can’t call out Venti’s name now, assuming that the other had gone far now to seek his own genres he had been looking for. 

Xiao had been teased for this little crush on you for years now, which probably has grown to be a full blown one by now, and he never found the courage to do anything about it. For now though, he was perfectly fine with being able to wave hello to you in the hallways or have a small chat when you would be partnered together for class activities.

Just thinking about you makes him the slightest bit giddy inside.

His wandering thoughts along with finding the book’s place is cut short when the library doors open and you step in. His face lights up for a moment before it is replaced with narrowed eyes when Venti skips up to you. The boy whispers in your ear and you smile, sending Xiao into yet another state of being flustered at the little things you do.

He looks down at the book in his hands and closes his eyes. 

At least Lisa never judged anyone at the book checkout.