#why do I trust so easily
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Just need the ground to swallow me up nowā¦ š«
#need to disappear#ground swallow me up#why do I trust so easily#feeling so stupid#so embarrassed#vicar of dibley
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was talking with a friend about how some of dunmeshi fŠ°ndom misunderstands kabru's initial feelings towards laios.
to sum up kabru's situation via a self-contained modernized metaphor:
kabru is like a guy who lost his entire family in a highly traumatic car accident. years later he joins a discord server and takes note of laios, another server member who seems interesting, so they start chatting. then laios reveals his special interest and favorite movie of all time is David Cronenberg's Crash (1996), and invites kabru to go watch a demolition derby with him
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#kabru#kabru already added laios as a discord friend. everyone else in the server can see laios excitedly asking kabru to go with him#what would You even Do in this situation. how would YOU feel?#basically: kabru isnt a laios-hater! hes just in shock bc Thats His Trauma. the key part is kabru still says yes#bc he wants to get to know laios. to understand why laios would be so fascinated by something horrific to him#and ALSO bc even while in shock kabru can still tell laios has unique expertise + knowledge that Could be used for Good#even if kabru doesnt fully trust laios yet (bc kabru just started talking to the guy 2 hours ago. they barely know each other)#kabru also understands that getting to know ppl (esp laios) means having to get to know their passions. even if it triggers his trauma here#but thats too much to fit in this metaphor/analogy. this is NOT an AU! its not supposed to cover everything abt kabru or laios' character!#its a self-contained metaphor written Specifically to be more easily relatable+thus easy to understand for general ppl online#(ie. assumed discord users. hence why i said (a non-specific) 'discord server' and not something specific like 'car repair subreddit')#its for ppl who mightve not fully grasped kabru's character+intentions and think hes being mean/'chaotic'/murderous.#to place ppl in kabru's shoes in an emotionally similar situation thats more possible/grounded in irl experiences and contexts.#and also for the movie punchline#mynn.txt#dm text#crossposting my tweets onto here since my friends suggested so
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š Caption this
#fnf#friday night funkin#friday night funkin fanart#fnf fanart#fnf girlfriend#fnf boyfriend#fnf gf#fnf bf#friday night funkin girlfriend#friday night funkin boyfriend#bf x gf#boyfriend x girlfriend#do they have a ship name?#oomfie said one iirc#blueberry#that's cute tho#my mind has been full of ship art ideas idk why#BOYFRIEND N GIRLFRIEND MY BELOVEDS#They're so dumb but they also love eachother trust me#we're so back with bright colors#i think so lol#can you believe the bg took longer than the drawing itself#i like to make me suffer#i could easily do a simple colores bg but my ass cant do that it feels illegal#ANYWAYS#exploding y'all with my mind#now gotta kms#yayyy :3#epicexplosion#KurokkePostingLol
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Post canon i personally think kabru and mithrun would live together.
They'd have their shared home above mithruns noodle place, and its not that far from the castle.
Kabru IS welcome to stay in the castle, but let's be real he would overwork himself if he was constantly with his literal hyperfix. Hes collectivly banned LOL.
Hed lives with mithrun under the guise that "mithrun needs a caretaker" but in reality, it's mithrun taking care of kabru.
Insert that scene where past!mithrun is whispering to mithruns ear. Yeah. Thats how he knows what kabru is upto.
Kabru is does smth mundane to the unseen eye like And mithrun goes "no tf you dont. i did this when i was 110 years old i know your tricks"
(Also bonus yaad moment he regains his desire to eat bc he brings kabru home from work (to make sure he isnt scheming smth) and gets free soba from mithrun)
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#text#mithrun#kabru#actually fuck me this is just like my fucking. edluca.#i really am so not original#its ok the difference is that its not romantic#i say as i tagā#kabumisu#said hyperfix is politics#and laios.#no i wont entertain any questions#110 is elf years of 22. thay was unintentional but funny as hell.#ppl are missing out how mithrun has a habit of projecting onto people....#past mithrun looks down on ppl bc hes projecting... mithruns ruthless behavior towards the dls is bc of projection#you guys srsly dont think hed do thay with kabru#honestly? i think thats why he trusted him so easily. lol.#ok rant in tags over
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AND WE JUST DONT TALK ABOUT THIS?!?!?!!????
#THIS IS LITERALLY LITERAAALLLYYY THE BIGGEST FORM OF CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT SUGISHITA COULD HAVE#NOT ONLY IS HE DOING WHATS BEST FOR UMEMIYA BUT HES PUTTING HIS TRUST IN SAKURA TO HELP HIM#AND OH IM SO UNWELL#HIS BODY IS PHYSICALLY REACTING TO HIM MAKING THIS DECISION IM JUST#IM SO PROUD#and then sakura acknowledging all of this too i just love them sm#they really have one of the best dynamics ššš#wind breaker#kyotaro sugishita#sakura haruka#wind breaker spoilers#wind breaker manga spoilers#ok nvm im still talking bc the second image literally gets me everytime i look at it#first off the way they drew sakura in that scene in the first place is just so beautiful thats the only word i can think for it rn šššš#second seeing this scene from sugishitas perspective and then learning later that the reason he has this reaction was because he thought-#-sakura looked cool and hes never thought that about anyone before just really gives us so much more for their relationship#specially how sugishita acts towards him šš#add that onto what umemiya says to him (which i couldnt include in this post </3) about how hes never really shown emotion to anyone-#-till sakura showed up then it gives us an even BETTER understanding of why sugishita acts the way he does around sakura#my brain is so frazzled by the sun today and words are not coming to me easily so apologies if none of this makes any sense ššš#ill revisit it another time anyway#also the way they describe all of this really makes it sound like he has a lil crush and its so sweet šššššš
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Fig's line "I don't think I'm an artist, I think I'm just a good friend" has not left my head at all. Just...
You're Fig Faeth and your horns came in over the summer and you pick up the bard class as a form of adolescent rock 'n' roll rebellion, and it works! It's exactly the outlet you need! You give a guy you just met drumsticks and you start a band and it's good enough that within a year and a half you're touring. You are, in every sense, good at being a bard.
And then, finally, your junior year, you start to take it seriously. Your art goes from an outlet and a form of rebellion to a practice. A discipline. (Can rebellion exist within a discipline?) Your classmates know what they want to do with their work. They all have a thesis statement. And yeah, there's cohesion in the music you make, but you've never had to think about why you make it. You've never sat down and dissected what it is about bass that speaks to you. You've never poured over your lyrics to pick at any deeper meaning. Why should you? You don't play music for a grand design, you do it to... huh, why do you do it?
(Your art is the one form of self-expression that feels as safe as Disguise Self does, because even if you're pouring your heart onto the page and then screaming it in front of thousands of people, it's not like you're really making yourself known. You can sing I'm lonely, I'm scared, I'm furious, and your fans will sing it right back, and there will still be the distance between performer and audience to keep your heart safe.)
Now you're being asked to look inward to explain the artistic choices you're making, and you can't help but recoil at that, because you'd rather do anything than look inward. Meanwhile, your classmates have no problem with it, so you start to wonder if you're a real artist at all. Can your art be authentic if it only exists to bolster a thesis statement? Has your art been unauthentic this whole time because you've never really thought about a thesis statement before? Is that what makes it art, and not just the next track on somebody's teen angst playlist?
You can't think about yourselfā acknowledging your own existence makes you want to puke. So if your music is an extension of yourself, (and it is, even if it's just because the spotlight reveals only what you want it to,) you can't think about your music. You can't. You have to. Your grade depends on it.
You're Fig Faeth, and you keep multiclassing because you'd rather be a good friend than a great artist. If introspection is what great art demands, then fuck it. You must not be a bard at all.
#Dimension 20#fig faeth#fhjy#Idle Chatter#my last two years of college were when I started to get more and more nauseous about my own art#because I wasn't being taught how to make the art I wanted to make#the whole curriculum's focus was on gallery art#which infuriated me! I wanted to make art that didn't have to involve twelve layers of meaning and metaphor to be considered good!!#so I drove myself into the ground time and again trying to make (miserable) work that I thought would fit the criteria of a Real Artist#anyway it's been 4 years and I'm just now picking at why I don't enjoy creating anymore so Fig's whole arc has hit home in a major way#ALSO. AAAAALSO. THE ADHD STRUGGLE WE SEE WITH BOTH FIG AND KRISTEN. LOVING SOMETHING BUT STILL STRUGGLING WITH FOLLOW THROUGH#BEING TOLD YOU'RE NOT DOING ENOUGH WHEN IT'S SO FUCKING HARD JUST TO GET WHERE EVERYONE ELSE IS AND NOT UNDERSTANDING WHY IT'S HARD FOR YOU#it was easy and now that the rubber's hit the road it's hard for you but not for others so it must be YOU that's the problem#you must be lazy or stupid or just not suited to this after all even though it's part of a pattern that has been happening all your life#if you were good enough or cared enough then surely the discipline would come easily to you! the way it comes easily to all your classmates#SCREAMS I gotta stop before I write a second essay in the tags. I'm so normal you can trust me to be normal about D&D characters
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luz accidentally retraumatizing herself with her arm glyphs aside, if they still work after belos dies, i DO think it would be unbelievably funny and charming if hunter occasionally just. ASKS her to sleep-spell him.
bc truly. boy is the KING of not sleeping enough. and waking up 437636 times in the night. and having constant half-conscious stress dreams.
hunter at one point being like look i Know i freaked out about the scarring before. but tomorrow is a busy day and i have exactly 7 hours before we both have to be awake and i don't want to spend two of those hours tossing and turning. so can you just.
Can You Just .
luz: hunter. you Know these glyphs are dangerous. you know exactly what i used them for-
hunter: Literally Everything is dangerous in large doses. drinking too much water. eating too much fruit. doing too much combat training. fucking MILK poisons you, luz. can we Please just reclaim these as being chill so i can get a Nap.
luz: but i.... D:
hunter: luz. i am Tired. it is Fine.
luz: ......oh. yeah, okay.
#and then hunter gets the best sleep of his life.#fantasy sleep spells: it's like ambien without the physical addiction or falling-asleep psychosis!#hunter can so easily get hooked on such simple pleasures as Feeling Rested Upon Waking. good for him.#luz is literally the only one he'd trust to do this though. anyone else suggesting something similar and hes like WHY DO YOU WANNA DO THAT.#I'LL KILL YOU. I WON'T HESITATE#this is very silly. i've woken up sleepy.#toh#princess luz au#horrible mindscape trauma pals#luz noceda#hunter toh
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aau rework version of the overload/boss fight where it actually has consequences and bearing on the character dynamics save me,, save me aau rework,,,,
#Ily greif Stricken mj ily trust issues hattie ily pissed snatcher etc#The overload actually being a big deal also works out better bc youknow snatch doessss elude to it with mjs contract that shit will go down#So It fits better to me theyll all get a dynamic shift#ESP with the thought of mj finally starting to bond w snatcher a bit beforehand too fuckkkk#Undid all that progress#AND HAT that fucks me upppp like the one adult person you meet that you trust that hasnāt tried to kill you or backstab you doing just that#That will FUCK HER UPPPPP#THE SECOND IT HIT ME THE REASON I STRUGGLED WRITING HER WAS BC SHE WAS BORING WAS EARTH SHATTERING#BC THEN I WAS INSTANTLY LIKE āok she comes to befriend mj wayyyy too fast I gotta inflict trust issues upon her laterā#Bc I mentioned it like she jokes that mj is the only person on earth that didnāt try to kill her but never played on that fact#So boom the overload is my opportunity#Like they canāt get into a found family THAT EASILY. THESE GUYS ARE FIGHTING TOOTH AND NAIL FOR IT !!#a!au#amnesia!moonjumper au#ahit au#ahit a!au#Also if if ur wondering I drew snatch like that bc I like the idea heās in between forms bc heās weakened <mj uses the blue strings on him#Hence why he doesnāt do anything during the fight bc heās kinda sorta been restrained oops lol#Watching ur forest and subjects get fucked up by a weirdo fucked up you cannot be fun#No one wins in overload arc. Everyone is having a bad time. Lol.#Ok Iām done yapping#Everyone loves Raymond OUT everyone hates mj IN
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will never be over this honestly
#BC WHAT THE HELL. WHAT.#WHYYYY DID THEY. WHY!!!!!#they knew good and well......#god. insane!!#'world class insomniac' yeah right#seriously tho the 'i cant fall asleep easily (falls asleep immediately around That Person)' trope GETS ME#its so important to me#feeling a level of safety and trust and comfort in someone to be able to fall asleep around them is so special#shoutout to My Guy who ive fallen asleep on call with multiple times JGHSKJK unmatched imo#the way that they both just look so incredibly comfortable. literally not a care in the world.#they forgot abt their status and the rest of the world and everyone else bc they were with each other!!!! do u get it!!!!!!!#goodness i need to go to bed its nearly 2 am#this film is going to be the death of me#rwrb#red white and royal blue#alex claremont diaz#henry fox#henry george edward james hanover stuart fox
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I love not giving out personal information on the internet where everyone can see!!! Majority of things I say in tags are bullshit!! I have lied to you and I will lie again because guess what! I do not know you! And also itās funny, I love making things up itās so fun you all should try it sometime. For example, when was I born? July 7th, 1987. Whatās my motherās name? Jane. Whatās MY legal name? Benjamin Gonzalez. Whatās my favorite food? Wheatcakes. Favorite color? Aquamarine. Favorite movie? Velocipastor. My favorite shirt? The one that says āIām older than the internet.ā Is any of what I said true? Hell if you know! Thatās for me to know and you to wonder about for the next five minutes. Like sorry to burst anyoneās bubble but I do Not know who could be reading my posts or going through my blog at any given opportunity. Likes yes I have my genuine moments but anything that looks like personal info is more than likely a lie
#making things up is so fun i love doing it#making it so that people i donāt know donāt actually know me is really funny actually#i was raised to be very paranoid and trust nobody not even myself and itās served me well so far#what do you mean i have a hard time keeping/making friends#this isnāt satire or a joke btw iām being 100% serious when i say most of you glimpse of me in tags is fake#i just like saying shit#why? i told you. itās funny :D#also i feel like a lot of people donāt realize how easily someone dedicated could piece together who you are irl with enough info#itās not as hard as youād like to think which is the scary part
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why are you, as an adult in 2024, still hung up on reylo. why are you still mocking the shippers. why do you believe yourself to be superior only because you dislike a stupid ship from a fucking space fairytale. girl (gnc) get a grip
#it's ridiculous. this ship is... stupidly clichĆ©. like if you know fandoms at all#you could easily guess why people would be into it. hello?? have you tried to watch tfa without your hate-on-kyle-ron goggles?#did you watch their scenes together? you don't have to like something to recognize the hints#hell. at the time i didn't really like jonerys but i realized they were going to be a thing when i read agot in 2011#like folks. it's been nearly TEN LONG YEARS. let it go. LET IT FUCKING GOOOO#and for the lucy/cooper shippers out there who think reylos are (again) delusional when they compare the two ships:#no. *you* are being delusional only because you think reylo is unsexy and uncool (which is your right to think btw. obv)#if you can't see why someone would like both of these pairings for similar reasons... idk what to say honestly#people compared it to hannigram... honestly. again i see why they would appeal to anyone who's into both ships#i really do. but... unpopular opinion (since i'm more of a clannibal fan than i could ever be of reylo):#they are more similar to reylo than will/hannibal. there i said it#i'm not talking about the writing (admittedly the quality of it was questionable). i'm talking about tropes#never mind that imo the ghoul is more akin to vader than kylo but whatever#hannibal is an unapologetic kind of villain. he's not gonna have a redemption arc and that's okay#cooper is an antivillain who used to be a good man and became a disfigured cruel bastard. a parody of himself#lucy is him. him before the bombs dropped before he discovered the person he trusted the most wanted to commit genocide#nice. moral. polite. infused with the Good Old American Valuesā¢. he's basically her dark side#all of this is very hannigram/clannibal. i'm not denying it at all#but what'll likely happen is that lucy's actions will have a positive influence on the ghoul and remind him of what it means to be a man#and that's way more reylo-like. sorry.#beauty&thebeast/villain with some hidden good in him+morally righteous heroine/enemies to lovers etc.#i mean. hello??..... having said that. i'm not so much of a reylo shipper anymore and tbh never was. i really liked it at the time#but i was never fond of the st era. my fav characters are vader and leia and revan from the old eu. just saying#*and* it's also not impossible lucy gets darker with the ghoul as her traveling companion. in fact i wouldn't dislike it at all#if done well i mean#but i would still like for people to be intellectually honest and less puerile. god knows i have my notps#but i really don't give a fuck about the shippers. good for them i guess? i have better taste lmao but that's heavily subjective#val rambles in the tags#val speaks#txt
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watched the first ep of Dead Boy Detectives today, did anyone also think the dialogue was a bit clunky?
I don't mean it was unwatchable or anything i just feel like it didn't feel realistic the way they introduced the characters and world... It felt like the dialogue was for the viewer instead of an in character thing. We were gonna be introduced to a viewer surrogate within the first few minutes, there was no need to have the characters who already know how the show's world works spell it out for nobody... and then explain it again when Crystal showed up? idk it felt like something I would write (not a complient) š
#the line ''we have to hide from death... or she'll get us'' was ridiculous#do you think the boy that's been escaping death since 1919 or whatever doesn't know?!#''we have to hide'' was enough the viewer can put 2 and 2 together and deduce it's bad if death sees them#to then minnutes later have them explain to crystal why they have to hide from death again...#just let the characters adress the camera if you wanna spell it out so easily#or you know... trust that the viewer is intelligent enough to wait 2 minutes for an explanation?#it was mostly just that first few mins of the first ep i think#i didn't pick up on anything else that trully bothered me#but idk it felt condecending dkjfghkdfg or simply badly written#which it was a bit of a let down to have it as a very first impression#i guess i went in thinking sandman and got like idk generic teen show#in the dialogue alone btw i actually really like the characters and the premise is awesome!#it just cuaght me by surprise#maybe it because i'm also watching fallout and the dialogue on that is like very well done and everything is a hint for something later#so i'm comparing it idk#anyways... is it just me? or was it actually clunky?#(don't spoil it past ep 1 pls)#angel talks#dead boy detectives#really liking it so far tho!
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qsmp makes me feel like a conspiracy theorist almost constantly. I see someone go "yeah bad almost exclusively chooses tophats in games when given the option" and I immediately run back to my conspiracy board and pin that next to the photo of q!slime and q!mariana saying they'll adopt juanaflippa because she has glasses like q!slime/q!mariana respectively under a sticky note captioned "??? the original spanish-english egg pairs were designed in a way meant to attract certain parents to adopting them???", that's connected by red string to a note pad page stating "how random was the parent pairing REALLY?" with nothing under it - which is then connected to a string that leads to several polaroids containing the ending(s) of the wall and the wreckage of the button, captioned "why build a wall that big only to have it end at a certain point?" followed by a string connected to a notebook page in the middle of the board reading "the illusion of choice?" - connected to several other seemingly dead-end questions and theories, as well as some slight stragglers only connected to eachother and not the middle. and then I look over my board covered in feverish notes and I go. yeah okay so I may just have like a slight problem
#quesadilla island and the illusion of choice.#i am so normal#I spent. a little bit too long on this bit I think.#saying stuff#I have more thoughts but it's just the generic stuff.#why does the federation want the residents on the island so badly. how did wilbur even leave the island.#why did islanders from the island itself vs others who aren't arrive the same way. what the fuck is up with the codes.#why do the feds insist on having a good rapport with the islanders. why do they try to desensitize them to their presence via tasks.#why do they try so hard to look non-threatening to the point even grunt workers carry around bubble wands to blow on the regular.#a lot of this is easily āthe federation wants to build trustā but that's also a why. what do they stand to gain from doing that.#hold on where's my nerd tag#i think.#oh my god really.#that's. okay yeah that checks out actually#qsmp#quackity smp#q!cellbit a man of the people (I am burning with questions about the federation all of the time oh my god.)#edit if you see spelling mistakes in this post do not correct me please I have a fragile ego#I did not notice until four hours had passed and now I'm committed to pretending I do not in fact care about it
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Shoutout to my roommate B for being So Chill about needing to pick me up from class yesterday bc I was too dissociated to drive. Thank u, B, youāre a real one.
#blue chatter#legit I could have just been trapped in that building for hours unable to get home#I was so scared and didnāt trust myself to walk home bc I get lost v easily even when Iām not dissociating#Iām so glad I thought to text Arrow and B and that Arrow. translated what I was trying to say to B.#and that Bās response was ācool where are you. do you need me to get you.ā#I was also freaking out about my backpack being gone and B was like āyou left it at home dwā instead of asking me why I asked abt it#just. I am so lucky. to have friends and roommates who handled this so well.#also shoutout to my ASL teacher and her TA. they tried their best to help me but I was too far gone to understand Anything.#my teacher is Deaf so mouth talking was Not An Option and I couldnāt understand her even though I *knew* I knew those signs#it just didnāt click at all. and the harder I tried the more I felt myself slipping away again. bc I kept getting overwhelmed.#anyway that all happened yesterday#and now I get to go to two academic meetings about my capstone and grad school and just act like everythingās normal#Blegh.
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thinking about how the ammunition that phoebe uses against mulder in fire is a childhood nightmare that he had shared with her, and how the world only has so much held over him because he shares so generously with it
#this isā¦ā¦.the thing honestly#and this is why scully is Like That when it comes to how cutthroat and protective she is of him#thinking about āpaper heartsā#and how she tells him that he walked in with his heart on his sleeve#and he did#he always does#he keeps doing it#and itās not that she wants him to stop#this is what she wants to shield#scully has that kind of protectiveness towards him that you have towards a child that hasnāt been touched by the world yet#itās very#āthe world is at least half terrible though i keep this from my childrenā#āgood bonesā by maggie smith#scully in the beginning is likeā¦ā¦there is something here that should have broken by now#and she wants to watch him be able to walk into every room with the most hopeful answer and a hand out to every stranger#despite how Frustrating!! it can be and how easily exploited it is and how often itās used against him#she wants to protect his ability to hope and trust and share so generously with the world#and i adore that about her character because it would be easier for her to tell him to take his heart off his sleeve and open his eyes#she just values that in him so much and sheās so desperate to nurture it and protect it because itās so special to her#heās so special to her#and how rare it is that someone whose experienced so much loss and trauma and abuse sees the world the way he does#she doesnāt have to keep the reality of the world from him#heās seen it his entire life#but he has so much belief in the world anyway#and sheās cautiously running behind#txf.txt#fire
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i have to think about chilchuck and laios forever
#random thoughts#dungeon meshi#the fact laios is holding back so much anger and he's the one who chilchuck lets out so much of his anger on#like you've seen how many times he beats on him and degrades him and laios just takes it#they're both holding so many secrets from their party like???#chilchuck's entire personal life. laios's interest in monsters and kensuke.#the fact laios somehow hid his interest in eating monsters from the entire party before this???#laios is estranged from his parents and very close with his sister. chilchuck is estranged from his wife and very close with his daughters#chilchuck thinks laios knows him better than anyone else in the party. chilchuck canonically thinks laios is dangerous and unreasonable#which like? reductive but accurate.#laios holds the lives of those he cherishes above all else. the world could go to hell for all he cares as long as those he loves are safe#chilchuck fears intimacy and could never admit how much he values the people around him unless under severe threat#god. i have to read dungeon meshi again. i need to analyze them#one self-sacrificing dumbass and one self-preserving selfish dumbass#laios has problems putting his needs first when it comes to those he loves. i can easily see that conflicting with chilchucks selfishness#i do think after chilchucks failed marriage he would become more hypervigilant in his relationships once he allows himself to date again#like he doesn't necessarily understand what he did wrong but he knows he did something#god the irony of someone so perceptive failing to recognize his wife's needs#imagining chilchuck recognizing laios is not satisfied by something and he asks him abt it and laios is like 'no im fine dont worry abt me'#like fully sincere. laios is used to denying himself what he needs for others#ran away from home when falin was being mistreated. sacrifices his body in the end when he becomes The Big Guy#suppresses himself to try and make others like him more or at least dislike him less#do you think he'd suppress himself at first when in a relationship with chilchuck out of fear of driving him away#chilchuck's perception vs laios's poor masking fight fight fight#god they both fear each other leaving. laios because he fears being like his father and driving chilchuck away like his dad drove him away#and chilchuck because his wife left him and he didn't fully understand Why.#the fact chilchuck thinks laios should act like more of a leader. do you think he fears becoming a poor leader like his dad?#chilchuck trusts and values laios as a leader and that scaring the shit out of both of them ššš#this is why they're switches okay
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