#why do I have problems now??
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I can't sleep and I'm terrified about my future
#I'll give only two exams this semester and that means I'm going to give four exams the next semester#I'm not going to cry over the decision I've made#it's irrevocable now . done#but I'm scared because i have to prepare a thesis for November#and im afraid I won't be able to do so if my exams ends in july#i haven't written something since high school#im afraid I've forgotten how#i don't know if ill manage to write a thesis for November when my exams ends in july and in September classes will start again#im terrified#why. why. my first two years have been so fucking good#why do I have problems now??#now everything should go smoothly and instead it doesn't#im fucking scared#because frankly.. what do I have apart from this?#nothing#and the worst thing is that im not even that good#I can't remember a single thing about the exam im preparing#I'm scared and tired and I want to sleep and im angry amd disgusted by myself and my laziness#now ill try to sleep#i need to wake up early to study these past few days have been so unproductive they make me want to throw up#ill see if tomorrow ill be better#but of course I will#I always forget about my problems during the day#personal#university things
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The ring was small and silver with a single emerald embedded in the metal.
It wasn’t something flashy, it probably cost less than the smallest gem from his vault all together.
But it was perfect.
Which made it so heartbreaking to turn it down.
“Dick.. you know me so well.. I wish I could take this ring, i really do.”
Dick was still on one knee in the little apartment, but he put the small box down on the floor as he asked.
“Then what’s stopping you?”
Danny let out a bitter chuckle,
“The US government.”
#so your boyfriend warned you that he had died when he was 14#when you first got serious#you thought it was so you understood he may have health problems later due to complications#in reality#The government thinks your boyfriend is nonsentient and non-sapient#welp you now have things to do#dick:… it’s.. a… temporary set-back!#dick: It's a momentary lapse But conveniently my ego doesn't bruise#writing prompt#dp x dc#danny fenton#dc x dp#shipping#dick grayson#dead of night#ghost circus#The US government: why do i hear boss music
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Eddie tells Wayne everything. They’re very open and honest with each other. Always have been.
Steve, on the other hand, does not talk to his parents unless he absolutely has to. If they asked him what his favorite song was, he’d lie.
So, it’s a bit of a shock when they’re back in Eddie’s bedroom, making out. Things are getting heated and Steve can hear Eddie fumbling one-handed in the drawer of his nightstand right before he mutters, “Shit.”
Steve asks, “What?”
“Nothing,” Eddie says, pulling back a bit. “Just give me a second.”
Steve watches him slide off the bed, throw open the door, and practically shout, “Hey Wayne, do you got any condoms?”
Steve is so mortified that he dissociates for a second and then leaves out the window so he doesn’t have to pass Wayne on the way out.
#Steve can’t fool around knowing that Wayne is in the next room knowing that he’s fooling around#Eddie doesn’t get why that’s a problem now. What else would he think they were doing with the door shut and music turned up#Eddie: Wait…did I accidentally out you? I thought you already told Wayne.#Steve: No! I d- why would I have told Wayne?#Eddie: I don’t know. he already knew we were fooling around when I told him#Steve: Why did you tell him?!#steve harrington#eddie munson#wayne munson#steddie
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Sometimes at work it's not my place to tell people the things I want to say, and I find I often go home at the end of the rougher days to stand blankly in my shower and tell myself over and over what I wish I could pass on.
This accomplishes very little, and mostly just gives me a tension headache, but through it all I think I've narrowed myself down to a few solid things I'd like to tell people the most.
You can't change people. Not permanently, not for anythig. You can support them, encourage them, love them, give them tools and opportunities and resources, but you can't make them change. They can change themselves if they want to, but they have to want to, and they have to want it for themselves, because they're the only one that's certain to be with them forever.
For better or worse, you make your own choices, and blaming bad choices on others doesn't only work to absolve you of responsibility- it also robs you of control. Because if you say you only did something because I did something, then you arent only shifting blame- you're admitting that you cannot control yourself, that you cannot truly make choices for yourself, that other people can control you- and as long as you truly beleive that, you'll keep facing the same problems over and over. You'll keep letting others dictate your choices, because you'll beleive that they can, and you'll never be free.
White knights on horseback are from fairytales. Nobody can help you if ou're not willing to help yourself. To try, to put the dirty work in, to belive you're worth that effort- Act as though nobody is coming to save you. From a struggle, from pain, from bad relationships, from yourself. And when you do save yourself, because you will, because failure here isn't an option if you want to survive, you'll never find another dragon that can keep you prisoner.
Don't say anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them remembering forever.
Doing the right thing in bad circumstances is hard. It's the hardest thing. But if you make the choice to do that hard thing anyways, despite your fear, you'll go on the rest of your like knowing that you're the sort of person who did something.
The present only seems the hardest because the past I over and the future hasn't happened.
There's so much joy ahead of you, the kind you can't possibly understand until you see it yourself.
The responsibility of consequences is often disguised as the power of permission. "I won't do this if you help me", "I'll work on my anger if you do this for me", "I promised you I'd quit, but can I have just one?". The unspoken question is, "Can it be your fault if this goes badly?"
You cant make someone love you the way you need to be loved. Someone can love you very much and still be bad for you, even if you love them very much in return. Two people can love each other very, very much, and try their very best, and still be wrong for each other.
Sometimes being near to someone changes you, even in good ways, and the people you become don't fit together as well as the people you were.
Caring takes work. Even if it's real. Especially if it's real. And the most important gestures aren't the grand, poetic, songs-and-flowers-and-tears moments; they're getting out of bed even though you don't want to. Paying attention to things you don't enjoy. Scrubbing pans, or opening a window, saying "thank-you", or helping carry groceries into the house. The small things fill the big things- without the small, boring, mediocre things, big things feel hollow.
Thrre is honour and dignity in humble work.
If you are a cruel and spiteful person, then you will find every place you visit to be full of the same cruel, spiteful people. This is not because the world is as cruel as you, but because everywhere you are, you will be disliked. This is the curse that comes with being persistently cruel and spiteful.
If you are a kind and ppsitive person, you will repeatedly encounter kind and positive people, because as they grow familiar with you, they will be happier to have you near. This is the reward of being a kind and positive person.
When splitting paths with loved ones, briefly or forever, aim for your last words to always be "I love you".
#I'm still so young and ignorant#but I wish someone had told ME these things before I had to learn them#And now when shit goes south and everything is over and calm again the same things just roll though my head#Over and over and over#It's like everyone I meet has the same 3 problems and its ruining their lives#I just want to take everyone I meet by the shoulders and shake them#I KNOW why this is happening to you#Do you realize you can be better?#Do you realize you can do it?#Aren't you terrified of wasting your life like this?#*I* want to be happier#*I* used to be so much worse than I am#And I don't have it all figured out#But if we all decide to help ourselves then it'll be that much easier to help each other#Right?#It's so hard to lift dead weight#You need to kick against the waves with me#You need to WANT to float#Do you understand#Ugh it's 6am#This has been your overdramatic midnight ramble#Imma grill me a cheese and go back to bed#Blaurfhgh
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Constantly citing this article and the studies it uses.
Here's a quote:
"That study shows that transmasculine individuals were actually more likely to be victims of childhood sexual assault, adult sexual assault, dating violence, domestic violence, and stalking than were transfeminine individuals (as shown in the chart below).
The only category in which trans women were more likely to be victimized was by hate violence, and even there the difference was small: 30 percent of trans women reported having experienced hate violence, compared to 29 percent of trans men."
#just an interesting finding#trans men#transmascs#transmasculinity#but you know#“shut up and listen to people who have real problems”#some of the shit you people say about trans men on this website makes me so mad#I feel like you walked into my house told me that Dolly Parton is a fascist bitch then spit in my grandma's ashes#like do you want to take this outside?#Oh I forgot#you never go outside#obviously#only a chronically terminally online weirdo could say the things you people say about trans men#I'm not a trans man and I can so clearly see the way you treat them is shitty#why can't you?#transandrophobia#they coined that word because you got mad when they applied transmisogyny to their own experiences and now you pick apart the word#as if words don't have meanings outside their root parts#I can't imagine having that much brain rot
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#lords here means those who have finished their homework; which is jack and sebek#twisted wonderland#twst#sebek zigvolt#ace trappola#twst yuu#twst mc#fanart#MATH SHOULDN'T BE THIS ROMANTIC#I was suddenly dropped with the news i need to do math 'BKSB' test near the future#and i was discussing math problems with my father because i am a stoopid adult growing out of my math now#and my father dropped this screenshot from insta short of a math account with simple to understand formula for fractions#AND I AM CRYING BCS WHY THERE'RE HEARTS IN THOSE#FHSDH i MEANT IT'S SMART#FOR IT TO BE EASY TO READ#AND EASY TO UNDERSTAND WITHOUT BOMBARDING MORE ARITHEMATIC SYMBOLS TO THE PICTURE#LIKE YES THIS NUMBER AND THIS NUMBER LOVE EACH OTHER THEY GOT MARRIED AND SO TOGETHER THEY BE--- WHAT NUMBER#FHSDH#anyhow if anybody knows do tell me if bksb test is hard or not#yuu is the type to finish their homework early but i guess the problem at nrc leave them too busy at times
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tbh I don’t think therapy would have fixed Jayce and Viktor lmao. maybe would have softened their self-destructive tendencies but there’s no fixing that co-dependent relationship. Heimerdinger Mel and Sky are told “yeah, I can help treat their individual depressions but nothing is gonna reduce their co-dependency. I’m pretty sure separating them makes it a lot worse for not only them but much worse for everyone else. for everyone’s safety I suggest they’re not allowed to be more than a buildings length away from each other and even that is pushing it.” That therapist then quits on the spot cause now they’ve literally seen everything.
It’s like that scene in Brooklyn nine nine where all the physiatrists are observing and talking with Gina but instead it’s a whole crew of therapists and neurologists and physiologists trying to find out how these two men literally mind-melded together. They go to couples therapy but it’s literally just individual therapy held together because why tf not it’s the only way to get them to go.
#in therapy like well Viktor doesn’t sleep well and I think it’s because he keeps dreaming about that time when he was 12 and got sick#the therapist is like well does Viktor tell you this and Viktor is like no I didn’t tell him that recently but that is why I can’t sleep#this is how their therapy is paid for btw that team dealing with them is getting research papers and grants and funding#their award winning paper is about codependency and the end of the world and shit#one therapist suggests they spend a few days apart and the next time they come back talk about it#and all those two can do is just info dump to each other about random shit they did and thought about while they were apart#they didn’t even do the same things but for some reason complete each others sentences#the therapist is like how did you know????? and they’re like well it’s so obvious what he did while I was away#and it’s just science and science and science#that therapists just quits and leaves Piltover#gets tf away from those two#arcane#arcane spoilers#viktor arcane#jayce talis#jayvik#jayce was like well last time I was separated from Viktor he almost died and the second time I teamed up with a random girl and killed a ki#Viktor is like no way last time we were separated I experimented on myself with runes shimmer and the hexcore#AU sky doesn’t die btw#and they’re just like lmao oops too bad you weren’t there you probably would have stopped me#honestly they should have been exiled with the caveat they have to go together#these two get handcuffed together and their only problem is that it’s now harder to work in the lab
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my opinion on “does joffrey know about the incest” is that he honestly genuinely does not suspect a god damn thing UNTIL the big blow up when his father dies. the combo of ned doing All Of That when he’d previously been so politically inactive + stannis AND renly crowning themselves is all the confirmation he needs for all the weird shit he’s seen throughout his life to click into place but what EYE think clicks into place is “oh this bitch SEDUCED my WEAK and INNOCENT MOTHER from my AMAZING father????” and from then on he’s praying robb kills jaime before the war ends.
#joffrey baratheon#do i think he’s ACTIVELY trying to get jaime killed? no he’s not smart enough for that kind of subterfuge. see: the sloppy ass catspaw#and i also think his violent outbursts ARE outbursts he’s not preplanning to torture sansa he’s just mad & sees her as an outlet#but like. is he sitting there afterwards like ‘what does a bitch gotta do to get a hated hostage executed come ON’#i DO think there’s a tiny bit of that feeling. i think if he had been alive when jaime got back there would have been some PROBLEMS.#it’s not even just that he resents jaime for making him a bastard & not robert’s son. it’s that now that he KNOWS he’s like ‘we look exactl#the fucjing same why is he still HERE everyone’s gonna KNOW’#getting on my soap box
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"I only ever asked questions."
(Print)
#good omens art#good omens#good omens season 2#bildad the shuhite#crowley#ineffable divorce#ineffeble husbands#artists on tumblr#aziraphale#i have a problem#Like why do i do this to myself#I really did not have to create this#and now im sad again#:(
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Time to let Alexander J Newall lull me to sleep with the soothing sounds of a guilt ridden murderer slowly and agonizingly turning into a tree. 😌
#why do I genuinely find this podcast relaxing?#like yeah its horror but also the narration style is just so... nice?#i have been falling asleep to tma and tmagp for weeks now.#i have a problem#tmagp#the magnus protocol#magpod#the magnus archives#tma
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Why does Ren have 4 ears? Are they all real or is one set fake?
Hehe I’ve gotten this question a lot actually! They’re all real— I like to think hybridization isn’t always a clean balance of traits, so Ren just unfortunately ended up with two sets of ears— his Dog ears being much more receptive to sound, naturally— and sometimes when the extra intake of sound is too overwhelming, I imagine he wears earplugs in his human ears to help adjust :> it’s a bit weird, but idk! i like to make designs funky and nonconventional! I liked the idea that Ren had hearing struggles due to wonky hybridization and just kept the concept :>
#dbhc#dbhc ask#ask#anon#dbhc ren#renthedog#dbhc doc#since I talk about him in the tags FGBJCGHN#it’s another one of those situations where I drew it that way when I was younger because I didn’t really understand why ppl were drawing#hybrids with flat spaces where human ears should go and have dog ears on the top of the head— I couldn’t figure out anatomically#it makes more sense to me now since animals are literally like that but it’s just something I kept doing and came up with a better#reason for it later once I had a better understanding of stuff#I don’t necessarily think two sets of ears is logically more sound than reworking the anatomy of a human head to have ears on top but!#it’s really not that deep LMAO#I like the idea of hybridizations being wonky because weird stuff physically happens to people all the time#hybrid or not#and then we gotta deal with the physical consequences of stuff we were born with… yknow#ANYWAY WHAT A WEIRD RAMBLE#tldr funky hybrid who now has hearing problems/gets overwhelmed easily by sound. ren the dog I love you#and if you were to look into my soul you would find that I also think dbhc doc helped him craft earbuds using android tech to work perfectly#to tune out the sounds he needs#:3 because they are friends and I think doc should use his expertise to help make life easier for ren#I’M STILL RAMBLING!!!#good grief
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rempe and the constant defending of him piss me off so bad. that guy should not be in the nhl and probably not be playing hockey period with the level of actual danger he presents for such a tiny sample size. like it is fucking absurd how every time i have to hear his name it's bc he basically mauled a guy or injured him and you have half of rangers fans acting like he's just a baby deer who doesn't know what he's doing and he WANTS to be a hockey player in the nhl based on his merit and not just his physicality 🥺👉👈. like news flash, he's not that and he's actively dangerous. holy shit
#like do they just have zero competent hockey players on their ahl team is that why he keeps getting the callup#theyre like oh troubas gone NOW we can bring up our other concussion maker no problem#its so FUCKED and stupid holy shit irdk how good or cute of a person he is#hes kinda like the reaves antithesis in a way#reaves gets the whole Tough Guy Will Kill Someone Out There#and then does fuck all#rempe gets the whole. Bambi who Doesnt Know what hes doing and then actually headhunts and injured lmfao#'he doesnt mean to' i mean he is literally a fucking giant and JUMPING into hits#and elbowing ppl in the neck and head like sorry#idc how much the rangers actions have Encouraged that he still shouldnt do it and hes a full blown adult#not some innocent child who doesnt know better
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you don't need to minimize other people's favorite because you have a favorite: it's okay to love damian, you don't need to shit on tim's character/erase his trauma. you can love tim and not shit on jason's run as robin. you can have cass or duke as a favorite and not diminish the other kids relationship with bruce and each other. and on, and on, and on.
#you don't have to put one character down to put one up#unless that character is bruce#bruce is awful canonnically#i was doing my little favorite pools and now im not doing that anymore because people keep reblogging with hate#like! okay you don't like this take#sure!#you have another favorite!#but please don't start shitting about other people's favorites to put yours down#like tim and damian specifically receive a LOT of hate#i don't know why#and jason too#like they're all flawed and their writing is sometimes shitty but????#also making cass and duke the perfect lovable children without problems is weird bye#batman#bruce wayne#dick grayson#nightwing#red hood#jason todd#tim drake#red robin#damian wayne#robin dc#batfamily#stephanie brown#spoiler dc#cassandra cain#duke thomas#harper row#signal dc
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right now i'm very torn between "taking critique is important as an artist and it's not an attack on me personally" and "people commenting about my same face syndrome under my posts upsets me an unreasonable amount and i wish they would stop doing it"
#ramble#sorry i am not having a good art day today#i'm TRYING i promise#this is 100% a me problem and i hate it#i think it's because when i have a Problem with my art. i need to fix it INSTANTLY#and that's not how art improvement works#idk why it gets to me so much i can't explain it#even if it's polite and means well it makes me feel weird and i don't know why#maybe because i thought i was way better about it than i used to be but right now i'm getting it way more#yes i know posting art means you have to take people's opinions#but how do i say 'please do not leave lengthy critique under my art that i make for fun when i didn't ask for it' w/o sounding like an ass#i just feel like. i would never go to a fic and point out all the writing mistakes in the comments if the author didn't ask for it. idk#i'm fighting really hard not to yell 'IT'S MY ART STYLE' bc that's not an excuse obvs
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THERE IS A MALADY INSIDE MY SOUL
NOTHING CAN HELP ME TO REGAIN CONTROL
NOW THAT THE AGONY HAS TAKEN HOLD
#sorry this songs been stuck in my head all day so now its your problem#thinking about making a bigger avm art set with it.. . . . .ehe. ..#yellows been stuck in my brain lately#avam#avm#ava#animation vs animator#animation vs minecraft#ava yellow#avm yellow#avam yellow#avm lucky block entity#how tf do i tag this#why does tumblr have every text colour of the rainbow except yellow#sticks#yellow
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Tennotober 2024 Day 11: Onlyne
"Floating higher as the stars align Here on the edge of 1999"
Previous (Day 10: Graffiti) || Next (Day 14: Void)
#i had a vision for this piece for a while now and i tried my best to meet it in one night#pretty happy with the result but#why tf did my vision have to involve drawing someone from below in a wonky perspective jfc everything hurts#i had fun with most of this piece but oh my god i just kept noticing problems and i just had to keep fixing them#and there's still issues#but it's been 5 hours picking at this thing i need it out i need to stop i need to sleeeeeeeeep#5 hours is way too much for a tennotober drawing what am i doing#tbf this is a drawing i've been kinda wanting to do regardless of tennotober anyways so i guess that's my excuse#uh issue is when that's most tennotober prompts lmao#anyways#warframe#warframe fanart#tennotober#tennotober 2024#my art#UpsideDownSmore's art#flashing lights#artists on tumblr#warframe zeke#warframe onlyne
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