#some of the shit you people say about trans men on this website makes me so mad

[velvetvexations]

I have the forcefem meme blog blocked but someone I follow put a post of her's on my dash and she's just straight up saying "this isn't a kink blog, the way I do forcefem isn't kinky" and I swear my brain stopped working entirely for a second. I don't think there's anything wrong with kinks changing with a subculture or community or becoming memes but like. Come on. Forcefem is a kink, that's what it is. I try not to get too worked up about this blog because it's not good for me and my judgement does get clouded by the dysphoria it triggers but like, it really does genuinely worry me the way the meme-ification of forcefem has completely divorced the kink element from what is still very fucking clearly a kink. This whole "I'm not doing it in a kink way" is not a get out of kink free card, and it's a piss poor excuse for going around and flooding this website with kink stuff that now essentially cannot be avoided in trans spaces. No other kink that has like, a potentially sfw angle has a community that acts like this about it, people who do like bootblacking performances where no explicitly sexual acts take place still make it clear this is a kink thing so people can avoid it if they want, and there are huge arguments in furry communities over if you can even do "sfw" vore because vore is a kink even when no traditional sex acts are being depicted. Every other kink community gets that even when no one is fucking, a kink is still a kink and should be treated as such for the safety of everyone, why should THIS be the exception??

Ugh anyway sorry didn't want this to turn into a rant, I really don't think there's anything wrong with doing a fun sfw kind of forcefem with people who consent but like, as a kinky person who cares a lot about kink and BDSM history and communities the blatant refusal to consider forcefem a kink AT ALL is concerning. You cannot un-kink-ify it, this is a kink goddamn it and when you stop treating it as such you open up a LOT of unsafe grey areas on top of making it borderline impossible for people who are squicked out by it to avoid it because no one is going to tag for something they think is a harmless, gender-affirming, tgirl approved meme.

Idk tho maybe I'm letting my own dysphoria get in the way, feel free to check me if that's the case I will take the L with grace, but I just feel like this "It's not a kink when I do it" thing is...in poor taste, at the very least. I don't think it's intentionally malicious either I just don't like it when we stop recognizing that a kink is a kink.

I advocate tirelessly for being able to live BDSM relationships in public to the extent that "normal" relationships are allowed, but what I do not do is say I should get to snap a collar around a random girl's neck and drag her off because it's just a lifestyle. Like fuck off with "it's not a kink," IT IS, and it is NON-CON.

My biggest fan can't shut up about me supposedly calling trans women groomers because I think it's bad for trans men to say they want to cure trans women's "comphet," but you know what's also sexually coercive? Shoving your non-con fetish at people, many of whom are going to have reasons to be outright triggered by it, and then call it fine because it's so totally non-sexual.

SATIRE BEGIN

Well, okay, fine, start making indiscriminate forcemasc jokes at women. It's not a kink! There's nothing wrong with being a trans man! How could they possibly complain?

SATIRE END

That's a rhetorical question too, the answer is that they'd be massive hypocrites about it and say some dumbass shit like "transmascs just invented forcemasc to gentrify our fet I MEAN NOT A FETISH" or "trans men shouldn't care about being forcefemmed because there's nothing wrong with it but being a man is Bad."

[trash-and-trash-accessories]

Constantly citing this article and the studies it uses.

Here's a quote:

"That study shows that transmasculine individuals were actually more likely to be victims of childhood sexual assault, adult sexual assault, dating violence, domestic violence, and stalking than were transfeminine individuals (as shown in the chart below).

The only category in which trans women were more likely to be victimized was by hate violence, and even there the difference was small: 30 percent of trans women reported having experienced hate violence, compared to 29 percent of trans men."

[foone]

One thing I think about a lot is that how omegaverse is a sort of meta-setting that can and has been applied to many different fandoms, right?

So there's "omegaverse supernatural" (because that's where it started) and "omegaverse star trek" and "omegaverse Frasier" and "omegaverse Batman" and "omegaverse US presidents".

You can basically easily apply it to any fandom with lots of men in it, which turns out to be most of them. (and you can apply it to the rare female-majority fandoms with a bit of extra work).

But the interesting thing to me is that omegaverse depends on characters having subgenders: alpha/beta/omega are effectively gender roles on top of the regular male/female ones, but they're ones not specified in the original fiction, right? (I mean, not usually).

So like, you can watch NewsRadio and it makes it pretty clear Dave is a man, but it never specifies if he's an alpha or omega, because why would it? Also, why is my go-to example of a random sitcom one from 1995?

Anyway. So you've got a bunch of characters with canonical genders (not that that has ever stopped fans from headcanoning them as different! Dave is a trans man, Lisa is a trans woman, and Bill? All Phil Hartman characters are closeted trans women, so jot that down), but you don't have canonical subgenders.

So fans have to decide which characters in a fiction are alphas and omegas and so on. They tend to be pretty consistent for most characters, actually.

But the part that interests me despite not really reading omegaverse stuff is just those headcanons.

Like, I can take a show I know well, like say Star Trek: The Next Generation, and find out what the fans think their subgenders are.

Like, I'm gonna guess that Riker and Worf are alphas. Picard could go either way. LaForge is an omega, Data is... An android, but he's had sex, so... I'm gonna guess alpha? O'Brien is an omega, but that's mostly going off DS9. Maybe he wasn't in TNG yet? Wesley I'm guessing gets headcanoned as omega.

And see, now I can go look at ao3 and see what other people think for these! And for some reason that's way more interesting to me than just reading any omegaverse fic.

I think we should do more of this sort of shit. I mean, I guess we kinda do for things like top/bottom, dom/sub, trans/cis, but I demand more subgenders! Subgenders that aren't depicted in the fiction but fans have to headcanon.

I kinda want to make a sort of wiki website which works by scraping ao3 tags and assigning alpha/beta/omega to characters from shows, basically a fan vote on how people headcanon the subgenders of these characters.

Anyway I checked and oh boy yeah everyone says Wesley is an omega. Apparently Zefram Cochrane is an omega too.

And the one fic I saw with Data in it made him an omega. Huh. Interesting.

I dunno. It's weird: I've got no interest in reading a fic where these characters fuck in their weird omegaverse ways, but I can't not be interested in knowing how fans headcanon them.

[pillarsalt]

hi um

I was? transmasc but recently I’ve been seeing a lot of really misogynistic sexist transphobic stuff from trans community and it’s just been totally accepted, even by other transmascs. It’s been going on for a while but recently there was a murder of a nonbinary afab person and yet the whole trans community here has been silent, instead screaming about a transfem user being banned or something? This isn’t the first time an afab trans persons suffering has been dismissed, but now right after this awful death, i see transfems making posts about how transmascs talking about their oppression are terfs.

I didn’t want to think about it but all i could think about was that it was weird how despite everyone claiming trans men have all this privilege, trans women always come first…they get the most representation, they get the fame the admiration and the opportunities, their voices are always the loudest and their problems always always come first no matter what.

But despite popular belief trans men’s issues aren’t actually less significant, in some cases we suffer far more than trans women especially in regard to sexual violence. Yet we are silenced. We are frequently left poor, we are discriminated against for our sex we are discriminated against for being trans we are discriminated against for being perceived as lesbians. Yet we are made to be silent?

Why are our voices less important than trans women’s?

And all I could think about was that this is how females are treated in every other area.

I don’t know what else to say… I tried so hard not to reach that conclusion because I don’t want to be transmysogynist but I kept coming back to it and I couldn’t find an argument against it. This is how females are treated. This is what male privilege look like. And if trans women have male privilege, then why the fuck am I sitting here letting them talk over me?

I just feel really really angry. Your a blog who I liked your art but I blocked you when I discovered you were a radfem, but I sort of had you in the back of my mind for some reason and now I feel lost and confused, and I don’t think I want to be part of the trans community anymore.

Hey anon, firstly I really appreciate your willingness to have an open discussion with me. This must be weighing on you pretty heavily.

Secondly, holy shit, you're right. While the entire website is treating this user's ban as a national travesty, I haven't seen a single person talking about Nex's murder despite how much they claim to care about trans people. That's really fucking low, and this situation does very much encapsulate the state of misogyny within the trans community.

And you're right, this IS how females are treated in every other area. Throughout history, the suffering and injustice women face is minimized, laughed at, ignored, and when we want to talk about it, we're shut down and told we're making people uncomfortable and our pain isn't that bad. And here we are again, with a female person's death outweighed by a male person's inconvenience.

The denial of sex-based oppression that permeates trans spaces is a blatant lie that can only be held together if nobody is allowed to acknowledge it, and those who do are punished. If the trans community truly stood behind what they say, discussion would be encouraged! The foundation of their movement would be backed up with facts and replicable science! But instead, they'll call you a bigot for pointing out systems of oppression you can see with your own eyes. Because if you do, transwomen's position as Most Oppressed, and therefore the final authority on what's right and wrong, collapses. You are correct when you say that it seems like transwomen always come first; I don't remember who said it first, but just look at magazine covers featuring trans people -- the transwomen are fully clothed CEOs, athletes, movie stars, but transmen mostly get on magazine covers for... being pregnant and half naked. Misogyny is built into every society on earth, and individuals simply calling themselves something else doesn't change that. And when you give male people free reign to be as misogynistic as they want without consequence, they'll grab that opportunity and hold on like their lives depend on it. The way they weaponize transmen's sex against them is indistinguishable from what 'cis' men do to 'cis' women, but if you ever speak out about it, somehow YOU'RE the one hurting THEM. They do not want transmascs to find solidarity with other female people, because then they would have to face the reality of their own place in a patriarchal world, and face the fact that there are experiences exclusive to female people and that we have the right to speak about it. I mean you see shit like this and the motives become completely transparent:

I do find it funny how hard the trans community and their allies work to prevent anyone from hearing what radfems have to say in case they "corrupt" you with mere words. A lot of the time, it's simply listening to transwomen themselves that sparks the feeling of "something's not right here" in your brain. That's what happened with me too. I'll tell you that most of us also used to be proponents of trans activism, many formerly identifying as trans too. You are seeing through manipulation, and I know it's quite shocking to realize. Even when I first started having doubts about trans rhetoric, I thought "well everyone else agrees about this, so I need to shut up and be nice about it even if I don't agree." It's an unpleasant place to be in. The cognitive dissonance is exhausting though, and it becomes impossible to ignore.

The mistreatment of transmasc people in the trans community by transfems is brutal, and It's hard to watch from the outside because I just want to say "Hey, you know you don't have to take this shit, right?" And you really don't. You are not at all a bad person for recognizing the frankly absurd amount of misogyny in the trans community. Feeling lost and confused is shitty, but it's normal for this situation. The best thing you can do is keep observing, keep reading, form your own opinions, and never let anyone tell you to shut up. Above all, prioritize yourself and your mental wellbeing. If you need to remove yourself from gender-related spaces and discussion for a while, that's totally alright. Just know you're not evil or a bigot for not blindly agreeing with everything the trans community has told you. Your opinions and experiences are worthwhile too.

[dasha-through-the-snow]

This is gonna be long and rambling, but it's something very personal, so strap in, I guess.

My "trans awakening" was in the mid-00s, back when a lot of language was not set, the community was atomized and it was just not an Accepted Thing To Be.

Back then, you had to scour shady self-hosted websites to get in touch with anyone. But because I was not ready to go out of the closet, I mainly lurked. And, because I was a horny teenager, I consumed a lot of "magical gender transformation" erotica.

Being trans overall was rough back in the mid-00s. Trans men were basically invisible and trans women were assumed to be either predatory drag queens, parodies of women, or demure housewives.

To this day I feel uneasy around drag queens, through no fault of their own. I didn't want to be a parody of a woman. I didn't want to be loud and over-the-top and exaggerated in femininity.

I just wanted to be Me, but a cis woman.

True, I probably would've allowed myself a more feminine expression than I even allowed myself during my brief skinny and on HRT stint. But I would've still acted and had the same interests as myself.

Now let's get back to that pesky erotic fiction.

Mostly I consumed written erotica. There was just more of it and with the lower entry barrier, it was easier to find. It was also, for the most part, garbage.

There were four main types of stories. The Bimbofication, the Stepfordication, the one-off stint and The One I Actually Liked.

Bimbofication and the one-off were mainly sex-based. Focused on the pleasure you would experience in the woman's body and how much you would be driven mad with lust. Obedience and shame kink were also pretty heavily involved.

The Stepfordication went a step further and involved a complete mental shift into a 50s housewife stereotype, complete with a pregnancy fetish.

I never liked those. They never spoke to me and, frankly, grossed me out. They had the same general vibe as the drag queens I feared. An adoption of shallow stereotypical femininity and an embracing of all the sexism that came with it.

The few stories I actually liked were more thoughtful. They never destroyed the protagonists' personality and even if the newly-acquired womanhood influenced them, it was more subtle and never radically changed them. Oftentimes it was about the internal struggle, the acceptance, the contemplation, with some sexy times thrown in.

What can I say, I was in my teens.

But those stories were rare. And as the time went on and I tried interacting with more trans people, I found that the majority of them I found online kind of aligned with the first three types more. I felt alienated and withdrew into myself.

Then the 2010s came. I was an adult, I had my own views and my own very complicated relationship with gender. And I saw a wave of very young, for the lack of a better word, punk people, treat being trans as a fun game of dress-up.

I lashed out. I was an asshole to them, when I didn't need to. I felt like they were making a mockery of my complicated journey of self-acceptance.

I made a some transmed friends. Mostly angry trans dudes, who loved slinging shit with me. But then the community fell apart. Some of it was just people getting exhausted. Some, like me, realized the pettiness and the pointlessness of it all. Some did a 180 and went full TERF.

And, once again, I was left alone.

To this day, it's hard to me to interact with other trans people. Especially trans women. I feel othered and alienated, because their experience doesn't resemble mine. Regardless of how much erotica I consumed, it never was a fetish for me. I just... Tried to explore my sexuality, while accepting that I can't be called a cis straight men, like the society expected me to identify.

I don't fit in with the old, I don't fit in with the new.

I just feel isolated and I don't know how to break this.

All through the lens of my horny teens, 20 years ago.

Being an adult trans person sucks, kids.

[thesuncantreachyouhere]

Im sorry to bother you but I saw you making a protest about transandrophobia and needed someone to vent to. I went down a rabbit hole and found a really popular transfemme blog called pl@idos (censored just in case) that just... constantly says transandrophobic bullshit and none of the other transfemmes bat an eye?! Justifying calling us slurs like theyfab, sheit and shemab because trans women can't oppress trans men or some bullshit, it made me so fucking sick. And now I'm panicking because I was always for solidarity between transmascs and transfemmes but now I'm so shook seeing so much support on the post, like 3k notes. Now I feel like I can only trust other transmascs because what if they don't actually take me seriously? And they just call me those terms behind my fucking back? I'm sorry if I'm bothering you again I just really needed to vent /gen

ur not bothering me! also i spent like an hour writing a really long reply, but it was getting too long, so im gonna summarize really quick

your feelings are valid, 1000%. there are a few big accounts sharing and saying really, really awful shit about transmascs. because some people heard "trans men are men" and took it to mean "trans men have the same societal power and privilege as cis men and that means we can degrade and humiliate them without recourse or backlash" (not that you should treat cis men like that either tbqh?)

let me make it clear i understand where you're coming from, i felt the same way as you did for a good while. at the same time we cant let a few dogshit people ruin our trust of an entire community, then we're no better than them

i lost all hope in the queer community because of this fucking website, but i got it back when i started going to in-person queer events/meetings/social groups. bc to be honest most trans people dont even know this discourse is happening, let alone are actively bigoted towards transmascs in any way

it also helped me to keep in mind that social media is literally designed to piss you off as much as possible, and that most of the people saying these awful things about transmascs are probably deeply unhappy and lashing out bc their lives are miserable

its not a coincidence that when you open up these peoples blogs, they tend to be posting about how lonely and sad they are 24/7

[tirfpikachu]

cw: me holding women accountable for sexism/gncphobia.

let's be real gyns... at some point, it does become weirdo behavior when tumblrinas who don't face male-specific gncphobia foam at the mouth to excessively call any flamboyant or unmasculine man the f slur or a twink or something related to being gay or trans bc a dude can never be too gnc or it must be a gay thing or a trans thing.

listen, i make jokes like that too. i prob sometimes still will. but i'm being self-aware and noticing my own sexism. i'm still working through my own internalized gncphobia, it's a life-long journey. i was taught growing up that anyone gnc and male is either creepy, gay, or a sex thing. and sometimes the jokes we make do get a good chuckle out of me! but i think we do have to be like... okay at this point are we making the gender roles boxes tighter? are we actually helping at all normalize gender nonconformity in society? do we truly uplift ALL gnc people or do we just do the woke equivalent of calling them girly f*gs for daring to not be hugh jackman level masc 24/7? do we truly see them as men, or lesser men? and if he wears a croptop or a skirt or shows emotions immediately he's "gay coded" or slutty? as if gnc men and transfems don't get chasers all the time for just existing. it's turning anyone gnc into a fetish category and honestly it feels Weird.

idk, if i was a gnc het man rn growing up with kids bullying him laughing calling him girly and f*ggy and gay etc, something that often turns violent, bc we know how male bullies are, going through that all the time... fearing getting hurt for existing, and then coming into leftist spaces and seeing all these nonstop jokes about any male person even remotely gnc being a wh*re or "visibly gay" simply for breaking gender norms, for saying fuck you to the patriarchy and wearing and doing whatever harmless things that shouldn't be gendered to begin with... even we leftists need to hold ourselves accountable for upholding gender roles. also, if you're not affected by male-specific gncphobia, you should be a good ally. i know this is the horny male blorbo website, but gay men shouldn't be our laughing stock all the time either. we shouldn't infantilize them or fetishize them or dehumanize them. people who don't face male-specific gncphobia should keep their sexism and homophobia in check too.

some of y'all, and me back when i was a teen honestly, really do at times objectify gnc behavior that should be a totally normal thing. we turn it into a spectacle. we re-enforce the guy in a dress looking embarrassed and laugh at it instead of seeing it as the result of him being aggressively kept in a box since toddlerhood to not do anything that wasn't a Boy Thing. often involving parental trauma and violent bullying as well. i want gnc people to be comfortable and normalized and be totally normal. i want to wheel past a guy in a croptop and not immediately think "omg he's so obviously gay" bc het men can just look/act that way! women ABSOLUTELY can be horrible sexist bullies and at times full-on abusers and keep gnc men in sexist gender roles. i have seen women say the most vicious gncphobic shit to men.

the reverse, of course, also applies to gnc women. sorry for committing the crime of caring about both gnc people and women. sorry for mentioning men & transfems who face gncphobia that we just can't relate to. i know it's seen as cringe, don't think about men even existing if you don't want to, idc. i have an equal foot in the women community and the gnc community. i do not care for sexist, gncphobic women, outside of generic feminist sisterhood. i as a gnc woman do not feel safe if all gnc people aren't respected. i know bisexual women protect bi men from biphobic women all the time, and woc have to protect men of color and get shamed for speaking up too bc they're all seen as "male bootlickers" or whatever. at this point sexist women make me shake my head and move tf on. immature, childish, defensive, and assuming bad faith. i align with disabled men before i align with abled women in some instances. at times, i align with gnc men before i align with sexist women. sisterhood is not unconditional. breaking gender roles will free us all.

[photographerstanheight]

FIRST DEAD BODY I'VE EVER SEEN...

THEY LOOK DIFFERENT IN REAL LIFE. THEY DON'T MOVE.

Hi. I'm Adam. Adam Stanheight. 26 years old. He/Him, what else do I say... I got no goddamn clue what I am. Bi? Gay? Pan? Don't give a shit. Women are cool. Men are fucking great. Like all those kinds of people. I'm that one guy, you probably know me, from that fucking bathroom shithole or whatever. It fucking sucked. ...And now I'm here. Posting on some random website I thought was interesting, plus it's full of freaks to make fun of. What will I post exactly? No fucking idea. Cats, photos I've taken, maybe some death threats to Jigsaw... By the way Jigsaw go kill yourself. Old Prick. Anyway. Do whatever. I really don't give a shit, you wanna talk? Talk. You wanna send memes? Send memes. Make sure they're fucking funny. You wanna whine to me about how sad your sorry life is? Go right ahead. I'm not a therapist so I'll probably laugh in your face.

Everyone shut the fuck up we have a fucking art fridge now this is a new addition yes I’m serious

Art 1. (Mr Millipede ily /p)

Art 2. (Aka me kissing billy its canon)

Art 3. (Smiling friends… smiling friends save me…)

Art 4. (Me and the HOMIE!!! A COUPLE OF BFFSSS!!! Unless… WHO SAID THAT!!!!)

By the way look at my cool ass cat. Her name is Mabel.

OOC UNDER THE CUT

Frowns... Hi chat... It's me... Dew... Sighs....... I have been uncovered from the depths of hell.... sad face emoji... but hi :,]

I'm sure all my mutuals will come swarming so i'm not gonna go thru the whole junk ab pronouns or whatnot ugh... he/him just in case. also don't be weird. I am an adult and yeaes ... so yeah if i see age below 18 i will nawt be doing weird 18+ stuff BITES OWN ARM OFF

But heeeeeyyyy, I'm a chainshipping, rustynailshipping and yapping FREAK so i made this to hopefully hang out w chatters... but also i wanna bother the fuck outta apprentices and other people sorry not sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Erm.. what else... my writing of Adam will be that he's trans!!!!! Omg ur transgener... That is so cool... He has top surgery but not bottom surgery,, guh... girl queen pussy boss....

AAAAnd I think I'm gonna let a bit of my chaos out so expect poootentially sooome sexual schtuffs?? Yours truly has some sillies in mind as a hypersexual loser like myself... I won't make it his whole personality tho idk :P

How did Adam get out of the trap? I don't fucking know and I am too goddamn lazy to think of it rn. I'll post tho when I actually can think , puts splinters in my eyes

Tags... lame. Whatever yapyap i'm a loser and i like 2 b fan see

|📸| ~ 𝑴𝑶𝑫 𝑻𝑨𝑳𝑲𝑺. - ya boy is yapping

|📸| ~ 𝑨𝑫𝑨𝑴 𝑨𝑵𝑺𝑾𝑬𝑹𝑺. - ask replies ofc

|📸| ~ 𝑨𝑫𝑨𝑴𝑺 𝑰𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑨𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺. - hes talking to people waoah,...

|📸| ~ 𝑨𝑫𝑨𝑴𝑺 𝑹𝑨𝑴𝑩𝑳𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑺. - he's talking!!!!! just for fun

|📸| ~ 𝑷𝑯𝑶𝑻𝑶𝑮𝑹𝑨𝑷𝑯𝑺. - beginning to roleplays perhaps idk i just like to have them

anyway erm... face reveal!!!!

[justslowdown]

Accidentally peeked into a radfem cesspool of people angry about trans fem people making videos about their transitions, discussing the changes they've experienced on HRT. Wonderful folks who are helping inform about the spectrum of what may happen.

Just really nasty shit being said because these trans women and nb people are "perpetuating harmful stereotypes about women" and "justifying misogyny" when they discuss things like changes in emotional states they personally have experienced.

Sometimes life-saving ones.

"Allergic to testosterone" is what one of these trans creators said, which got me thinking about my own long term experiences with HRT, on the other side of things.

And I realized I've seen transmasc and nb people on this website make the exact same accusatory arguments when people on T are honest about their individual changes.

And I just think there's a BIG space between transmedicalist assholery, and complete denial that hormones do anything besides changing your visible characteristics/voice/etc.

There's a sense on this site (or in my corners? I avoid online trans discourse like the plague though, it's been like, ten years since I came out, I'm tired......)

that if your mental and emotional state is different on testosterone, you're having, what, a psychosomatic response to gendered stereotypes? That you're justifying men's behavior now that you benefit from misogyny. Or that you're newly enabled to express your anger, now that you have a masculine social role, and that's why you're experiencing it differently.

Sure, let's talk about the roles those things may play in our own individual experiences. But while we do that, let's maybe...... not be so vitriolic that people like me are afraid of saying a word about our own lived experience on hormones.

I was on low dose T for years, off it for a couple years due to isolated life circumstances, now back on it (still low dose) for coming up on a year soon. It is at least partially responsible on a physiological level for changes in my mental functioning, and in my experience of anger and activated emotions vs self-contained emotions. I am grateful to feel anger, now, as hard as it's been to learn how to handle.

Pretending otherwise or keeping quiet doesn't help anyone. Talking about it so even one person won't be as caught off guard as I was... might? But I sure as hell won't be saying anything more public than this because of the response I've seen others get. Again: I'm .... tired.

...

People assumed I was a man in that middle chunk of time when I had an estrogen dominant system but had already experienced voice change and facial hair.

My social experience was different from my physiological one.

If all the emotional and mental changes I felt between being on and off testosterone were attributable to social positioning and misogyny...? that middle chunk of time wouldn't have been the outlier in between when I was on T, in terms of ability to feel anger and some other complex emotions I really don't have the vocabulary for.

And in terms of my literal ability, full stop, my ability to just not have thoughts for a moment. When my system is estrogen dominant, I have sleep disruptions because of racing thoughts--when I'm on T, there's a quiet flow place I can sometimes access. It reminds me of that "allergic to testosterone" thing, but in reverse.

My mental state requires this hormone to function how I need. This isn't about gender and hasn't been since my voice changed. I'm just. fucking tired of keeping quiet about that so I don't sound like a transmedicalist. Who are complete dipshits and just flat out wrong, if that wasn't clear. But again can we PLEASE open up that middle ground for discussion......?

[bisexualseraphim]

I’m about to say some shit that a lot of you are really not gonna want to hear.

If you call yourself a trans ally but constantly put men down, you are not a trans ally.

If you call yourself body positive but call men ugly or make fun of them for having small dicks, you are not body positive.

If you call yourself a mental health advocate but that advocacy doesn’t include people with personality disorders or psychotics, you are not a mental health advocate.

If you call yourself pro-choice but object to a woman partaking in sex work or surrogacy, you are not pro-choice.

If you call yourself kink positive but shame others for having non-harmful unorthodox fantasies you personally don’t like, you are not kink positive.

If you claim to accept bisexuals but feel disgust at their “opposite gender” attraction, you are partaking in biphobia.

If you claim to be against xenophobia but make fun of other people’s accents or dialects, you are partaking in xenophobia.

If you claim to be for class solidarity but make fun of working class people’s dialects, food, clothes or culture, you are partaking in classism.

If you claim to be against Islamophobia but find yourself associating Islam with terrorism, you are partaking in Islamophobia.

If you claim to be against antisemitism but find yourself regularly calling Jews Zionists, you are partaking in antisemitism.

I’m not saying any of this makes you A Xenophobe™️ or inherently bigoted. But these are just a few things many leftists still need to unlearn when it comes to seeking true acceptance and equality, and I see far too much of this behaviour on this website from people who claim to be ardently against it. Everyone has subconscious prejudices that need to be addressed and what matters is making the effort to improve on that behaviour once it’s been recognised. These are just examples that have stood out to me the most lately and there will be more because none of us are perfect and I have been guilty of these before as well. I just hope to see change and growth rather than indignation.

[bambi-kinos]

i honestly wouldn’t care so much about omegaverse if people were just honest about how it’s a porn genre instead of insisting how it’s queer activism. especially on twitter there’s a weird group of people who think its the pinnacle of feminism to make men suffer through patriarchy but poorly thought out patriarchy and omegaverse sidelines women constantly (though i’ve seen fair share of female centric omegaverse but those don’t seem to push the activism view and feels more like it’s a porn genre, but the dog dick thing is still uncomfortable) another thing about the activism thing people push is about how omegaverse is actually really liberating for trans men or whatever as a blanket statement. don’t care if other trans men like omegaverse but i certainly don’t think omegaverse is reflective of the ftm experience. especially since all the characters are presumably cis in the stories even if they’re sometimes written with vaginas in universe it doesn’t matter! this is why the “if you dislike omegaverse you’re queer phobic” mindset drives me crazy. i’m sorry if this ask is really long i feel vindicated that other people find omegaverse a terrible genre ive disliked it for years, i can tolerate some stories but i can never take it seriously.

HAHA. Yeah this is a good summation of where I am at as well. The thing is omegaverse has always been up its own ass just a little, in Strange Aeons oral history of Dashcon someone at the con had made a presentation about omegaverse that said "omegaverse has six genders, here's what the six genders are" and it was about relating these fictional six genders to the IRL queer experience? Or at least that's how i interpreted it from the video. And the thing is this was almost at the very beginning of omegaverse as a trend and users were already trying to gentrify it into something that it isn't.

IMO omegaverse appeared at the same time that tumblr slacktivism was being heavily criticized. Don't know if anyone else remembers this but there was a viral tumblr post that had British protestors out with placards and signs and they were protesting in favor of gay marriage, and one of the signs said "let John and Sherlock get married." And the tumblr post absolutely exploded because people were mad (for good reason) that someone was bringing their fandom attitudes into IRL activism. And people were mad because gay marriage was something was desperately needed for legal protection and there was a lot of outrage that a fujoshi instead decided to make it about Johnlock, because that was the only way she could relate to gay marriage activism.

The problem though is that this viral post was like, a nuclear bomb in the tumblr consciousness. The website never recovered. That's where the idea of "minority representation" took off, because fujoshis were bullied and made to feel ashamed of liking gay ships and were accused of being "slacktivists" by writing fanfiction or whatever, even when we were not actually interested in doing activism. (I think some poor idiots tried to say that "writing slash fanfic means I'm fighting for gay rights" which got skewered.) So the idea of "representation" was dreamed up as a response to it, because no one likes being accused of being a ~fetishizer~. Saying "well actually me writing this fanfiction is good because I'm being Representational" was a way to politically justify your gay cocks rubbing together fetish. Tumblr was totally overrun with keyboard slacktivists screaming at and bullying each other over gay ships which made the "representation" and "fanfiction as queer activism" thing really take off. It was really just a way to avoid being bullied and in many ways it still is.

And while all of this was going on, omegaverse was born! So maybe in hindsight it did not stand a chance, no one wanted to admit that they just had a fetish for werewolves and noncon because that would get them bullied. Like I cannot stress enough that I was in Ground Zero for this shit so I remember when omegaverse fans were fielding accusations of "fapping to bestiality" and other horrible fucked and untrue things. So they were desperate, absolutely DESPERATE to put a respectable coat of paint on their porn so that Tumblr would stop bullying them for it. (There was a scat component to it as well but that wasn't as prominent as the bestiality themed noncon that came out of it. And I mean...both of those things are fine because it's fiction, so whatever, but it's not shocking that anything that was adjacent to those things would get pushback.)

In a way, fans did not have a choice except to pretend that the porn was actually Queer Empowerment and Feminist Empowerment and how it was Totally Liberating to read about men with dog dicks raping other men with anal fissures. They had to do it in order to protect themselves. This resulted in entire essays being written about how being anally impregnated by a guy with a dogdick who "ruts" like an animal is, like, suuuuuch a female experience you guiz!!!!!!! We gorls have all been there amirite!!!!! And if you didn't take that view and said "who is 'we' in this equation, you're not affiliated with me and I don't recognize these experiences" you received some online hate for Not Being With the Feminist Cause. In time that has metastasized and now there are omegaverse fans who, as you indicate, decided to start bullying other queer people people for not liking it.

(And you know, as I'm editing this, I'm realizing just how insanely transphobic that kind of stance was! Incredible erasure of trans people took place in those "why Omegaverse is the peak of feminism" essays.)

The lesbian omegaverse stuff is basically the purest form of it and hence it's the most tolerable. Yuri fiction gets so little attention anyway, yuri writers basically have carte blanche to do whatever they want. There's very little infighting in comparison to slash fandoms. Funnily enough when women are involved as characters no one wants to read about the Feminine Political Experience and no one cares enough to turn it into activism. It's only slash ships that get that projection and its 100% due to the "oh shit we need to pretend this is Representation so that we don't get bullied for having a fetish" deal. (This has since spread into most aspects of fandom and even IRL discourse! Do what you will with that information.)

Massive +1 to your note about how it affects queer people. I can't imagine what it's like to be a transman and be told "umm ackchually sweaty being impregnated with a dog cock is the HEIGHT of the transman experience and if you don't like it then you can get out." When I was weirded out by the book I cataloged that was an omegaverse romance, one of the rhetorical lines that got flung at me was "straight people aren't going to like you!!! they're always going to hate you!!!! you're never going to not be disgusting to them!!! you have to like it or else you're a bad queer person!!!" Because I had said that I found the material grotesque and I didn't like it being marketed as "LGBT fiction."

But that was never the point, the point was that I, a queer person, do not want this material anywhere near me. Like, why would I want to be associated with bestiality, even if it's fantasy bestiality? This ain't about the cishetties, this is about me, how I feel. I don't want to be told that it's inherently queer fiction and queer romance, because why would I want dog penises and the captivating aroma of poopy buttholes (sorry, "slick") to be associated with my queerness and my sexuality?

But those are the wages of omegaverse being born in the times that it was born in. It's most likely permanently baked into the structure, even when people are just wilding out with their Ids and going "oh teehee I forgot to take my suppressants and now my reproductive anal glands need to be expressed." You are still going to get the "my werewolf themed fanfiction is ACTIVISM, we are HERE we're QUEER and you need to GET OVER IT" even when you yourself are queer and have been persecuted for it in the past. Either jump on the dogdick carousal or you're queerphobic.

I should underline that I understand that this is quite literally a Not All Fans Situation and imo most users in fandom try not to get on each other's cases so much about our preferences. The problem is that omegaverse has been a vehicle for buckwild levels of cope, junk science, SJW themed bullying, and superiority complexes because there are a plurality of fans that are trying to gentrify weird porn. And that's the sticking point in all of this especially if you're someone who doesn't like it and want to stay away from it.

[velvetvexations]

as we all know you are THE popular Tumblr transfems. all of the popular radical feminist transfems on the site are actually the underdogs and definitely don't have huge followings or any social power on this website. don't look at their four-digit follower counts or the way they subtly encourage dogpiling people because they know there's a crowd of people who will do it immediately that's irrelevant

TRFs think 1k and 15k are the same number because they both have a one in them.

Being so many levels deep in the feminism discourse makes daily life amusing sometimes. Like some of the shit I wanna joke about would probably comes off as misogynistic without the context of it being in response to radical feminism but it's so funny. Like saying shit like I love erasing women doesn't necessarily make sense to someone who doesn't know it's in response to terfs talking about gender neutral medical language etc. Or like having to hear constant feminism 101 basic bitch feminism stuff from people around me and just nod cause I know they don't wanna hear about The Nuance cause the average person isn't as interested in social and gender theory as I am. Like to the average level one feminist I can understand how more complex feminism can come off as misogynistic so I don't Get Into It with coworkers and the like but I am always sitting here brimming with Opinions anyway. That and people at work seem to read me as "guy who's kind of gender nonconforming" rather than trans so I don't get interpreted as being a voice of "authority" on anything about gender or misogyny (and I'd rather stick with that than be the Outspoken Tranny tm). It's a silent game of "I know more than you"

lmao you're hiding your power level

How the heck do I not take doing something bad as life ending. I fucked up today bc I lost track of time and missed doing something with my bf. He says he’s not mad but I can tell he feels bad in some way, and I don’t blame him, I unequivocally DID fuck up, and it’s hard not to want to just fall on the ground and rip my skin off ngl lol but I know at this point if I keep apologizing or asking him if I can fix it or offering him shit is just going to come across desperate and weird, and I have to take him at face value that he is not mad, and it’ll be okay tomorrow, but arghhhhhhhh I’m historically horrible at taking people who are clearly upset saying “I’m not mad at you” at face value

please let me know if you find out because that wrecks me too

Fascinated by how much transandrophobia in queer spaces is like, 'youre a Dude and therefore obviously you cannot experience this opression the way you think you do, people obviously view you as a Man and therefore you have male privilege, anyway heres the most wildly specific misogynistic trope youve never seen aimed at cis men aimed at trans dudes, this is not sus at all' Yes this is abt the 'trans dudes on t should go on mood stabilisers' before someone asks.

it's so blatant

i find it very fun(/s) that theres like, two separate groups of trfs where one is super open about hating transmascs n shit and the other is more "guys THEORY" and the second group constantly pretends the first group doesn't exist and actually you're lying literally no one has ever said that ever what are you talking about

Mask on, mask off.

started just instant blocking anyone I see putting trf bullshit on my dash. soon I will have peace.

true inner peace

[qelflinq]

Every porn take I see blow up on here says the exact same thing and it’s wild to see 20,000 people play absolutely stupid every single time lol. “2 people should be allowed to record themselves having good angel consensual sex and that’s why porn is good actually so stop saying it’s bad😇” Ok how come that’s your position that’s not even a very divisive thing to say. Come on now defend the porn made in a studio with a pornstar man and a pornstar woman whose Instagram comments are full of old men describing how they’d like to violate her (best case scenario). Like WHO is taking up an issue with the ethical shit when they talk about porn. That’s literally 2% of porn you assholes KNOW the other 98% (the pornhub most searched , the shit most curious 11 year olds will see first) is simulated rape/incest/pedophilia (oftentimes all 3). I’m not saying the straight guy favourites are all like this, but even the majority of “normal” porn reestablishes really fucked up ways to view women (as do things like weightwatchers and razor ads but that’s probably pushing it a bit too much on here). I guess part of the problem is that hardly anybody on this website can think or see beyond themselves and their own porn habits. Like sure maybe (maybe) Rocko| 23| he/they only gets off to AO3 fanfiction but the kink freedom warriors don’t love mentioning the swaths of men that go abt their day fantasizing about controlling or hurting women. Do they just not exist when we consider the effects porn has on us? Or are they not supposed to be a problem, and I’m just another grouch yucking somebody’s yum? The men that are our classmates and coworkers and family members etc etc the men we have to interact with daily. Like I’m sorry but not everyone lives in Tumblr world 100% of the time lol it doesn’t make us anti sex crones to think it’s weird that porn is so accessible and commercialized and STILL so influenced by misogyny (again I’m talking THE MAJORITY of it not the ethical shit everyone uses as an example when defending porn). I’m starting to get ads from onlyfans telling me to sign up 👍 telling me hey girl this is such a fun opportunity to make money. Is that not like, evil?? Is that not scary to anyone? Like now it’s the company itself explaining how good and empowering it is to have your income dictated by how jackoffable you are deemed by strangers forming fantasies surrounding your body? Whether my body is a particular fetish? Nobody online rly wants to talk about the other side of sex work. Abt how it’s so closely linked to addiction and poverty in real life. It’s not just silly cute cosplay photoshoots that stay within the greater queer community. And even when it is, if you come across any trans OF creators twitter, a great chunk of their comments are (often conservative) men who want to hurt/degrade them. It’s not a new or made up phenomenon. You can very much witness it for yourself. Most people DO witness it, I guess it’s just not really a priority so it’s better ignored? It’s useless trying to have a normal conversation about these things cause everybody reblogs the same posts to show they share the same opinions. When the internet is this fast ur priorities shift, I get it. It’s easier to form opinions based on others safe agreeable pre-written ones. So often I see or hear someone regurgitating some shit I KNOW they read on a Tumblr post or heard in a YouTube essay cause bro I saw it too. Sometimes it’s straight up word for word. Like what ! Does nobody read books anymore. Or go to work. Or go outside and talk to people. I know it’s hard to find time to think about things much when there r so many tiktoks to watch, posts to read, pictures to chuckle and so little free-time in your day to do all that. It’s crazy to me that if you’re not a woman on here , you’re probably not gonna think about how women are treated at all.

[againstpollution]

yo is it just me or is tumblr unable to take any criticism of men without resorting to calling it terf rhetoric.... like.... i feel like it's a huge part of why people never go too deep into any kind of critical analysis of men as a class specifically on this website because any kind of sensical criticism of men and the patriarchy gets branded as terfy. it's making me go crazy if i'm real, it very much feels like people utilized those words to keep women from talking about their oppression and slowly everybody rolled with it so hard thousands of idiots think calling out men means you're doing biological essentialism??? and that if you dont love men and say misandry is real you're somehow hurting trans people like holy shit, it just makes it so hard to talk about feminism without being reviled in a "progressive way" in my experience and it's frustrating. if basic feminism is too ""radical"" then what can we even do

yes it's been that way since..idk at least 2017 id say if not earlier, after the women's march was squashed down and called transphobic and white feminist. it's both a concerted effort by men to keep women from talking about their own oppression, and women's inability to stand up for ourselves and put our feet down.

what can you do? i don't know, depends on where you live ig. liberal cities in the anglosphere are probably the worst for this. i dont personally have to deal with super radlibs irl and there's still 'normal' feminist organizations here...maybe it helps to find local communist women, or more specific organisations like orgas that help women escape sex work or DV/ female felons, stuff like that. groups that operate just on ideology and protests without direct action often drift off into identity politics, also avoid university based organizations lmao.

as for online, most of the time it's not worth arguing with people at all. consciousness raising has its merits but some faceless person generally wont convince anyone that terfs arent the devil. just have fun and dont doomscroll. cheers, anon

[pretty-little-martyr]

it really is fucki ng disgusting whats going on on tumblr rn, and I know this isnt new, I was there for the whole "and they were Russian Bots!!" plot twist about black leftists' deleted accounts, theres people I was following who I'll probably never find again. I was pissed then and I'm pissed now all over again, because the people getting targeted are exactly why I've stuck around on this website, tumblr makes important discussions very accessible in ways other social medias just cant service. especially this I suppose hits close to home as a fellow trans person, if it werent for the trans people on this website I probably wouldntve ever realized I'm trans. it took seeing nonbinary people stubbornly resisting gender binaries for me to realize I could do that, it took seeing trans men be happy with themselves to realize I could do that, it took seeing trans women write long essays on their lens of girlhood/womanhood for me to realize both that I'm probably not a woman and that being a woman can be much more pleasant than I was ever taught in my conservative ass rural/suburban kentucky upbringing. truly photoshatt is just sticking this website in a garbage disposal for a hot minute here. and I want to say the community (general tumblr left/us queers) will bounce back as we always do but I'm well aware that's honestly not what happened the first time either.

it's not like this is brand new behavior never before seen online, you can get banned off some sites for some silly shit due to power tripping moderators, it's always been a thing, but goddamn if it isnt EXHAUSTING.

[rotationalsymmetry]

I don't really get when people go "x group has privilege" and then don't flllow it up with anything. Like, ok, so what?

"men get paid more than women for the same work, so we need to idk pass a law or something so that women get paid as much as men" ok, got it.

"men are privileged" don't get it, what is the relevance here?

often it's an implicit "men are privileged, so I'm going to be deliberately mean and you have to let me" which kinda sucks actually.

"Americans are privileged" sure, and I get it when there's a "hey so, when you're making a post on eg accessing trans health care either make it relevant to people who aren't in the US or at least make it clear that you aren't doing that rather than making non-Americans play a guessing game of 'does this apply to me or not?'" Like, that makes sense, that's actionable, I can do that. "Americans are privileged (gaping void)" what, you want me to flagellate myself or something? I mean I do, but that's because I want to not because I'm being told to.

I mean, ideally it'd be possible to separate the "x are privileged" and the "so in order to create a more equitable and generally less shitty world, x should..." posts because there's a lot of potential part 2's for any given part one. But in practice, a lot of this stuff is about stupid social games and not actually making the world a better place, so.

(btw yeah no shit, tumblr's a US-centric website and US culture has a way disproportionate effect on the rest of the world, privilege is as good a way of summing that up as anything, I'm not saying it's factually incorrect I'm saying that people get into a lot of stupid fights over who does or doesn't have what kind of privilege when maybe if you just start with what you want people to DO you can have a much better conversation.)

(and (group of people) privilege doesn't always trump interpersonal dynamics. Someone can be Very Privileged by demographic but be kinda a pushover due to personality and/or how their childhood was like or whatever, and some people who are Very Marginalized get their way in disagreements most of the time due to force of personality, and sometimes you get a group of Equally Marginalized people and you still end up with one person getting their way most of the time because Equally Marginalized isn't the same as equal.)