#why did you have to leave
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I know I made mistakes, but you didn’t have to just give up on me.
#you’re about to kill me#and I don’t even care#you were everything#why did you have to leave#I’m so sorry for all the things I did wrong#I wanted to make it up to you#now I’ll never have the chance#you left my life and I don’t think you’re coming back#I got too attached to you#now it’s going to kill me#things I can’t say to you#personal#my post
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Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.
Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).
Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.
Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.
Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).
AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.
But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s
At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.
#mlp#yeah i wrote this last night during insomnia.#yeah i know an embarrassing amount of crap about this kids show#but whatever it's my hyperfixation i'll store as much useless information as i want!!!#i'm gay and neurodivergent i have an excuse#in case you needed more proof that aj's my favorite character#personal#delete later#unless you like this analysis stuff#i get why they didn't reveal aj's parent's death until way later and why they didn't do much with it but i wish they did#cuz narratively there could've been so much material with aj's grief. like. i feel like we gloss over the fact that she lost her#mother and father as a teenager#i tried keeping my personal hcs out of this to keep it unbiased#but i'll put some in the tags#involving rarijack –– i think aj can be (but not always) very self-conscious about her relationship with rarity#anxieties that she's not the right fit or that rarity will move away and leave her some day or that another woman will take her attention#(like in rollercoaster of friendship?? nudge nudge??). basic seperation anxiety stuff#long post#regarding applebloom whenever i think about her and her parents i think about that scene in steven universe where steven looks up at#a portrait of his mother and openly wonders what kind of sack lunches she would've made for him. that episode still fucks me up
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born to take these photos, forced to save them off pinterest
#why did i have to be born so late#i want his dick so far down my throat it leaves bruises#I could make him happy#the salt and pepper beard omggggg#hugh jackman#thank you hugh for existing#hugh jackman one chance please#hugh the man that you are#logan howlett#wolverine#hugh i’m begging on my knees please#i love hugh jackman#old hugh jackman#hugh jackman x reader#men with beards#i want him#he’d be my favorite lolipop#sighhhh#who’s dad is this#he’s so hot#daddy issues in full throttle#daddy issues
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It’s so hard to hate you when all we have are good memories
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mourning black and the death of ideals
#i haven't moved on from this yet. btw. i'm still here#finally decided to draw the thought i've been ruminating over for days on end bc it's like a parasite eating away my brain#stated this on the initial post i made days ago but there's just smt so gut wrenching and sickening#about how dazai will have worn black exactly twice in his life: once as a member of the mafia and now at kunikida's funeral#a color that initially signified devotion to the mafia and his demon prodigy alias now signifies his grief#him having to wear black again at the funeral of another doomed fatalist who chose his heart over his survival. his own partner.#kunikida's death being so reminiscent of the tragedy that initially caused him to defect and flee#and everything tying together full circle and effectively breaking him#asagiri rly said fuck knkdz it's doppover we lost gang 😭😭😭#why did bro leave that fucking notebook behind#fool. do you know that angst potential you have left me to work with?#love never won in bsd. it lay dead and festering#i don't know how much longer i can keep saying i miss them. i'm going to kill myself if he doesn't come back#i've never wanted something to be death bait so desperately#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#kunikidazai#knkdz#kunizai#(??? technically. its implied anyway)#lotus draws
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It will never not be super ridiculous that Buffy had to single-handedly protect the world from demons, raise her teenage sister, manage a household, and work a full time job, all at the age of 22 and everyone around her is like “god Buffy just grow up and deal with it, stop acting like it’s hard.”
#Giles leaving will never make sense#what 22 year old can be expected to juggle all that without support#and someone explain why Willow and Tara didn’t pay rent cause I have questions#she really got no sympathy from anyone they all acted like she was this sad pathetic loser who couldn’t handle being a grown up#but also can you give me any better representation of the reality of your early 20s than that#this show really did the thing#buffy the vampire slayer#btvs#buffy#buffy summers
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NEW FEAR OF YOU CONTENT AHH
Not even written by me! @dahvampire wrote an entire fanfiction for Fear of you, check it out!! <3
Pretty much this dynamic:
#WOOPS wrong blog LMAO#omg i'm so happy#THIS#AHHHHHHHH#I'm so freaking blessed; they writing about my blorbos#HELLOO#LOOKIT THE FREAKING PROSE#@dahvampire I will leave THE review to ever exist prepare your inbox#I'm so freaking crazy about this#Like THE GRIN I have on my face HELLO#I haven't read “All In” yet (only the first paragraphs with OH BOY DO I LOVE THIS ALREADY) I want to save it for my travel home today!!#Man why did I stop writing about them i love this fucking bird#I think I'm back in the fandom baby#HIUWE>itrfsda#I need to finish editing the next chapter of Foy#It's Endeavor and Shinyo centric too#Let's see how it goes weeee#bnha#mha#mha foy#bnha fear of you#mha fear of you#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#mha shinyo takami#bnha shinyo takami#mha the takami thief#bnha shinyo#bnha oc#mha endeavor
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you wouldnt last an hour in the asylum where they raised me
#this post will not leave my head.#so you have to see it#i was in the trenches age like 15/16 explaining too people in youtube comments why rose was pink diamond. and i was right#my finest achievement#kiddo say#that lyric is so funny also like why did she say that#shes literally the joker
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it is incredibly exhausting to go through tags for a disorder i have been diagnosed with and see almost every post say “endos dni” “i hate endos” “endos fuck off” like oh my fucking god can you not make a single post about being disordered without sticking it to the endos or whatever
like hi hello, i am both diagnosed with OSDD and i identify as an praesigenic system because i dont care why my system formed and you shouldnt care why my system formed (and also bc people were breaking their own dni by following me, an endo supporter). you are creating a hostile space and alienating parts of your community because you refuse to understand that others can have different life experiences
its also really exhuasting when im looking for posts about OSDDID and everything is either a coining post telling endos to fuck off or a post bitching about endogenic systems existing.
i am just so tired and angry about it. disordered endogenic systems exist. endogenic systems diagnosed with OSDDID exist.
#bark bark#system#plural#sysblr#multiplicity#pro endo#endo safe#osddid#osdd system#did osdd#osdd 1a#did#disorded system#endo system#syscourse#like im so fucking tired of it#why does everything have to be about syscourse now#why cant you just talk about your experiences being disordered#and leave it at that
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Alternate timeline where Stanley doesn’t accidentally ruin Ford’s project but he still doesn’t get into Geek Life University bc some kid showed up with a baking soda volcano
#Happens every time I’m telling ya#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#a tale of two stans#Y’all I just thought of smth fucked up#Remember that baby pic where ford was reaching towards the yellow triangle?#What if bill’s always been there#Cuz perpetual motion machines aren’t scientifically possible (think it’s bc entropy or smth to do w/ thermodynamics)#Ford couldn’t have made one—no one can#Either he was scamming them or (if what I said abt bill above is correct) *he* fucked w/ Ford’s machine to make it weird#Bc ford getting into a top school means he has more opportunities which means a better chance of getting the portal built#And then when Ford starts being like “screw your cipher” bill’s like “oh you think you can just *leave* me; I *made* you sixer!”#“I’m the reason you got into that fancy pants college! You honestly think you could’ve built that machine#We may be a team but I’m the mvp—always have been”#Okay I know it’s far-fetched but what is the gf fandom if not full of far-fetched theories (ain’t even a theory really more like an excuse#for angst and also bc of the fact that Ford invented Physics Breaker 5000 was slwsys a sticking point for me FOR SOME REASON)#Like I truly don’t know why that of all things bothers me#I really did just devolve into fanfic in the tags of a shitpost—oh and ig ford got into west cost in that au/version of events#shitpost
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imma be so real with you I did NOT care for all the cutesy ways they presented Vi and Cait's disbalanced social status in arc 3
#first off the parallel of cait arriving to let vi out of prison. but this time they ~have sex~. IN THE CELL THAT WAS UNJUSTLY HOLDING JINX#bitch why are you invoking THAT REALLY FUCKED UP SCENE right before such a milestone romance scene??? it's not cute??? JINX WAS JUST HERE#then the one thing cait tries to apologize for is MADDIE. GIRL. NO ONE CARES ABOUT MADDIE. WE CARE ABOUT HOW YOU KEPT DEMEANING#AND TORTURING ZAUNITES INCLUDING VI. but that isn't addressed bc vi needs to give her head. speaking of vi#VI WHY ARE YOU GIGGLING LIKE A SCHOOLGIRL YOU ARE IN A PRISON CELL. REMEMBER HOW YOU WASTED 7 YEARS OF YOUR LIFE IN ONE#then the way jinx believes vi should be with cait as an alternative to staying with her simply because she is too fucked up while cait make#vi happy. i am sorry but show me where did jinx see cait makes vi happy. then the show just rolls with that and says ''yeah vi should be#forced to leave jinx behind and choose piltover. this is a happy ending for everyone.''#and finally ''i'm the dirt under your fingernails'' WHAT A DEPRESSING FUCKING FINAL NOTE TO LEAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP ON.#a zaunite is literal DIRT under a ruling class piltie's fingernails. and it's cute and means they are gonna be together forever. HELLO????#i don't know WHAT that thing is but that thing is NOT MY OTP#arcane liveblog#arcane spoilers#it's like they were planning to write a fucked up tragic romance story. like they were PLANNING to make cait the bad guy. IT IS CRAZY#they weren't let's be clear. but s1 was so deep and yielded to analysis so well. meanwhile if you look any deeper than shallow into s2 you#get interpretations like THIS#''finally a lesbian couple with a happy ending'' YEAH IF YOU IGNORE CLASS. IF YOU IGNORE CLASS BASED OPPRESSION. CMON GUYS WE DESERVE BETTE
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Animation commission I guess...
Um... ha-ha, okay, it has been stuck in my head for the whole month, but if I will keep it any more I will explode, I need to busy my brain even more I'd like to take an animation commission. Like, a fully colored, shaded, with lightning, with in-betweens, with the clean line (and background). Up to 5 seconds depending on what you want to get I guess the price may start from 250$ and be higher or less depending on complexity of the details, character or movement (<- of course everything will be negotiated) I never took such commissions before so please be patient with me since I might spend even months ha-ha (really wanna beat this fear of taking something more complex) But I will do my best since it will be first experimental time for me 1. Payment via Boosty after acceptance of the sketch animation (very rough idea) 2. I think I can draw mostly anything (but won't 18+, guro and I can decline something if I feel like I will not like to do it) 3. You must have a reference of the character, I'm not ready to work with something that doesn't have a ref to start working right away 4. Please, properly think of what you'd like to see, I will not make 3 different rough animations of different ideas because you suddenly had another idea ;~;; 5. Note me in dms if you'd like to take commission... (I'd like to move to discord later since it's more comfortable in here) Uh... I have only this as a more or less proper example (it was based on amazing storyboard by yeye23)
Okay, I'll just leave it here if someone really will be interested and will delete if it if it will be decided.... I just feel like my brain is dying if I don't have an enjoyable/stressful more complicated work on a side that demands an attention from me. Have a nice day
#I just...#I have what to do#Plenty of what to do#But it doesn't stress me enough to make my brain work#Such kind of commissions give me both a boost of work and enjoyment because of the process#So... yeah ah my brain is very much lacking it right now#And I think it will be interesting to finally do something complicated again but more properly#from the very beginning#I need an experience while I have time to pay attention to it#commission#I'm still not very confident to take money for these kind of works so I need to understand what pricing is okay for what I'm able to do wit#animation...#*opens the door*#*leaves the stage*#hahhh my dear life why did you give me such a lazy brain...
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Gege is still recovering and goes on extended hiatus but turns out was secretly drawing and now releasing this new official art of Yuuji and Choso! 😭 they look so relax and happy, outside having picnic together! Choso is napping on the rattan mattress while smiling and Yuuji is waving at the cameraman. Between them two cans of beverage. The left one a can of tea and the other one written either Pokka or Ponka? (Pokka Sapporo is a JP's manufacturer of canned and bottled beverages)
This is an official art by Gege Akutami that will be made into lenticular bookmark as natsucomi freebie in (participating) bookstores coming July
#I KNOW THEY ARE LIVING TOGETHER HAPPILY EVER AFTER WHAT WE SAW IN MANGA IS FANFIC CZ GEGE LOVES THEM TOO MUCH TO SEPARATE THEM#JUST ADMIT IT GEGE! YOU HAVE SOFT SPOT FOR THESE TWO ARENT CHA NO NEED TO BE SHY! WE CAN ALREADY SEE IT AS CLEAR AS DAY#WHY ELSE YOU MADE CHOSO AND YUUJI'S SCENES AND FLASHBACKS BEFORE LEAVING SO DRAMATICALLY BEAUTIFULLY TRAGIC LIKE THAT#thank you so much for this new official art omg 😭😭😭#look at what comes thru my gc I got triple gifts choso-related things today what did I do to deserve these surprises#jujutsu kaisen#official art#choso#yuji itadori#jjk choso#itadori yuji#itadori yuuji#smiling brothers go on relaxing picnic after shooting Choso's last scene the angstiest scene in the drama series Called JJK#gege akutami#choita
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shiv's motivations for voting to pass the gojo deal are so layered and i don't think they should be dismissed in favour of any one interpretation. shiv desperately grabbed on to a lifeline for her relationship with tom. shiv was the deciding vote and she couldn't bear to hold the crown only for a moment just to place it atop her brother's head. shiv knew she would have more influence as wife of CEO rather than sister of CEO. shiv absolutely hated seeing kendall crystallize into logan before her eyes, especially when he made roman bleed ("and if we did kill him we get to go to bed") -- succession has always been about siblings so of course she tried to free her brothers before her child. shiv still thinks she can raise her child with all the material benefits of being the daughter of waystar CEO while doing better by her, whatever that means. and all of those things are true
#shiv roy#succession#succession spoilers#ok i'm sleeping#wait i know i just assumed tomshiv baby is a girl but like. i'm right#also i have seen many people say shiv did it purely out of spite and i will say#i don't think they would have had dialogue about shiv saying she's tired and they should all rest#or panned to shiv looking at roman's face fresh with blood#or shown shiv tearing up over her conversation with tom at the beginning of the episode#or had her say 'i cannot stomach you' which has pretty obvious connotations even in the context of succ#or had shiv make up her mind precisely when kendall said the andrew dodds confession was a lie#if her motives weren't meant to be read as ambiguous. they would not have put those things in there without reason#shiv leaving the room may have been impulsive spite but what came after was more complicated#it's also not even wholly altruistic it's just cold admittance that they don't have It. she thinks she does#and i'm not sure why the sentiment that they can't take it but she can surprises anyone#she's literally always seen herself as the exception
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The Painted Lady turned around slowly, deliberately, and stared right through each ghost present in the room. Then, she raised her hands in a graceful arc, pointed loosely at the ceiling, and chanted, “Well, off you go.” She made a shoo, go away gesture, the spirits disappeared, and—wait. The spirits disappeared.
Izumi comes back in For the Spirits Chapter VI: Dream of You. Zuko has a mild panic attack and her upbeat attitude does not help him (or does it?).
Just what is she up to? And what is the meaning behind the blue eyes from Zuko's dream?
#zutara#atla#zuko#avatar the last airbender#atla fanart#prince zuko#zutara au#atla art#for the spirits#Chapter VI: Dream of You#the painted lady#painted lady#atla izumi#izumi#Izumi of Jang Hui#atla zuko#zuko art#zuko fanart#spirit touched zuko#new gods au#atla fanfic#atla fic#zuko fanfic#book one zuko#The Painted Lady's outfit design changes every time I draw her lol. Let's chalk it up to spirit shenanigans and leave it there.#I'm so excited about this chapter! It's most probably one of the most visual chapters I've written so far.#I couldn't decide between drawing this particular scene or two more... So I did all three *insert evil cackle*#Izumi is in a good mood for the entire chapter. Zuko has a panic attack for the entire chapter. Do the math.#This particular interaction is a Big Moment for him. You'll see why soon enough (*cough* next chapter *cough*)#For all the Lu Ten fans out there. I have an announcement! Our dearest boy Ten Ten is coming back in the next chapter. Keep your eyes open!
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LILITH IF YOU DON'T WANT YOUR MAN I'LL TAKE HIM YOU FUCKING STUPID BITCH-
#HOW DID SHE LEAVE HIM????#how COULD she leave him???#what in the hell could he have possibly done??#i would never#her loss#he's mine now#why would you ever dump him#he's both silly AND badass#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lucifer#FUCK IS WRONG WITH HER??#IS SHE FUCKING HIGH??
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