#why did you have to leave
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Happy new year I guess
#sobbing my way into the new year#heart is crushed#why did you have to leave#you promised#I loved you#more than words could ever describe
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I know I made mistakes, but you didn’t have to just give up on me.
#you’re about to kill me#and I don’t even care#you were everything#why did you have to leave#I’m so sorry for all the things I did wrong#I wanted to make it up to you#now I’ll never have the chance#you left my life and I don’t think you’re coming back#I got too attached to you#now it’s going to kill me#things I can’t say to you#personal#my post
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Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.
Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).
Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.
Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.
Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).
AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.
But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s
At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.
#mlp#yeah i wrote this last night during insomnia.#yeah i know an embarrassing amount of crap about this kids show#but whatever it's my hyperfixation i'll store as much useless information as i want!!!#i'm gay and neurodivergent i have an excuse#in case you needed more proof that aj's my favorite character#personal#delete later#unless you like this analysis stuff#i get why they didn't reveal aj's parent's death until way later and why they didn't do much with it but i wish they did#cuz narratively there could've been so much material with aj's grief. like. i feel like we gloss over the fact that she lost her#mother and father as a teenager#i tried keeping my personal hcs out of this to keep it unbiased#but i'll put some in the tags#involving rarijack –– i think aj can be (but not always) very self-conscious about her relationship with rarity#anxieties that she's not the right fit or that rarity will move away and leave her some day or that another woman will take her attention#(like in rollercoaster of friendship?? nudge nudge??). basic seperation anxiety stuff#long post#regarding applebloom whenever i think about her and her parents i think about that scene in steven universe where steven looks up at#a portrait of his mother and openly wonders what kind of sack lunches she would've made for him. that episode still fucks me up
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It’s so hard to hate you when all we have are good memories
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mourning black and the death of ideals
#i haven't moved on from this yet. btw. i'm still here#finally decided to draw the thought i've been ruminating over for days on end bc it's like a parasite eating away my brain#stated this on the initial post i made days ago but there's just smt so gut wrenching and sickening#about how dazai will have worn black exactly twice in his life: once as a member of the mafia and now at kunikida's funeral#a color that initially signified devotion to the mafia and his demon prodigy alias now signifies his grief#him having to wear black again at the funeral of another doomed fatalist who chose his heart over his survival. his own partner.#kunikida's death being so reminiscent of the tragedy that initially caused him to defect and flee#and everything tying together full circle and effectively breaking him#asagiri rly said fuck knkdz it's doppover we lost gang 😭😭😭#why did bro leave that fucking notebook behind#fool. do you know that angst potential you have left me to work with?#love never won in bsd. it lay dead and festering#i don't know how much longer i can keep saying i miss them. i'm going to kill myself if he doesn't come back#i've never wanted something to be death bait so desperately#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#kunikidazai#knkdz#kunizai#(??? technically. its implied anyway)#lotus draws
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Share a moment in comic history that emotionally DESTROYED you. I’ll go first.
“Hey it’s me, Jaybird.” 😭
He’s so real for this
Also the fact that he HELD ONTO ROY’S HAT
#batman#jason todd#red hood#batfam#dick grayson#tim drake#red robin#nightwing#red hood and arsenal#arsenal#Roy Harper#red hood and the outlaws#sobbing#I will never recover from this#hey it’s me Jaybird#jaybird#they’re in love your honor#I’m still mad that dc didn’t do a panel reuniting them#jay and Roy need each other#they’re best friends your honor#i will never emotionally recover from this#why did he have his hat#because he loves him that’s why#he has a momento for his lover#THE HAT SCENE#leaving him a voicemail just to hear his voice#do you think that when Roy came back to life he heard that voicemail?#I like to think so#the damn trucker hat#trucker hat Roy Harper
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crusty evolution redraw. in theory.
#xmen#xmen evolution#erik lehnsherr#magneto#quicksilver#pietro maximoff#snap sketches#i stopped liking this past the lineart stage but i told myself id try to finish whatever i start to at least try and learn somethin#did i learn anything ? thats for me to reflect on. for now tho ramble time 😌#its painful to draw erik with short hair but sometimes you gotta get outta the usual !! <- never doing this again#ive been ahead of my schedule with stuff i have to draw so ive simply decided todaay will be My Day for personal doodles#idk why ive decided my first evo fanart should be the one where erik and pietro leave behind wanda but ok !!!!! freak#i have a long hair ver but i didnt color it. i was just greedy .. not greedy enough tho evidently#anyways i have like. idk what four episodes of evolution left ?? depressing this show's great ...#i didnt nkow theyd have a david ep ... a pleasant surprise but now im emo ...#OH WELL lets see what else i doodle tonight#this week's going to be annoying but i think i say that every week LMAO and look at that i get through them anyway#we'll be fine and chill team .. ok bye bye
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It will never not be super ridiculous that Buffy had to single-handedly protect the world from demons, raise her teenage sister, manage a household, and work a full time job, all at the age of 22 and everyone around her is like “god Buffy just grow up and deal with it, stop acting like it’s hard.”
#Giles leaving will never make sense#what 22 year old can be expected to juggle all that without support#and someone explain why Willow and Tara didn’t pay rent cause I have questions#she really got no sympathy from anyone they all acted like she was this sad pathetic loser who couldn’t handle being a grown up#but also can you give me any better representation of the reality of your early 20s than that#this show really did the thing#buffy the vampire slayer#btvs#buffy#buffy summers
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you wouldnt last an hour in the asylum where they raised me
#this post will not leave my head.#so you have to see it#i was in the trenches age like 15/16 explaining too people in youtube comments why rose was pink diamond. and i was right#my finest achievement#kiddo say#that lyric is so funny also like why did she say that#shes literally the joker
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tbh I don’t think therapy would have fixed Jayce and Viktor lmao. maybe would have softened their self-destructive tendencies but there’s no fixing that co-dependent relationship. Heimerdinger Mel and Sky are told “yeah, I can help treat their individual depressions but nothing is gonna reduce their co-dependency. I’m pretty sure separating them makes it a lot worse for not only them but much worse for everyone else. for everyone’s safety I suggest they’re not allowed to be more than a buildings length away from each other and even that is pushing it.” That therapist then quits on the spot cause now they’ve literally seen everything.
It’s like that scene in Brooklyn nine nine where all the physiatrists are observing and talking with Gina but instead it’s a whole crew of therapists and neurologists and physiologists trying to find out how these two men literally mind-melded together. They go to couples therapy but it’s literally just individual therapy held together because why tf not it’s the only way to get them to go.
#in therapy like well Viktor doesn’t sleep well and I think it’s because he keeps dreaming about that time when he was 12 and got sick#the therapist is like well does Viktor tell you this and Viktor is like no I didn’t tell him that recently but that is why I can’t sleep#this is how their therapy is paid for btw that team dealing with them is getting research papers and grants and funding#their award winning paper is about codependency and the end of the world and shit#one therapist suggests they spend a few days apart and the next time they come back talk about it#and all those two can do is just info dump to each other about random shit they did and thought about while they were apart#they didn’t even do the same things but for some reason complete each others sentences#the therapist is like how did you know????? and they’re like well it’s so obvious what he did while I was away#and it’s just science and science and science#that therapists just quits and leaves Piltover#gets tf away from those two#arcane#arcane spoilers#viktor arcane#jayce talis#jayvik#jayce was like well last time I was separated from Viktor he almost died and the second time I teamed up with a random girl and killed a ki#Viktor is like no way last time we were separated I experimented on myself with runes shimmer and the hexcore#AU sky doesn’t die btw#and they’re just like lmao oops too bad you weren’t there you probably would have stopped me#honestly they should have been exiled with the caveat they have to go together#these two get handcuffed together and their only problem is that it’s now harder to work in the lab
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How does that first encounter go down between them in your Spitfire AU? I imagine some real conflicting emotions on all sides!
I would love to hear you ramble!! ❤️
*cracks knuckles* Alright, let's do this.
As far as the world is concerned, Lu Ten II doesn't exist and the Royal Bloodline ends with Princess Azula. The little kid that follows Prince Zuko everywhere? That's Ten Ten, an orphaned stowaway his Crew found and adopted for some weird reason no-one ever questions—the kid is just that lovable.
(It helps, honestly, that Lu Ten II is a carbon-copy of poor, forgotten Ursa. No one would ever think to connect him with Fire Lord Ozai, long may he reign.)
Little Ten Ten loves to run off when the Crew is on shore leave. He gets into trouble sometimes, but only because of his chronic inability to look away from people who need help (it makes Zuzu both so proud and so shouty-because-he's-worried. It's fun until it isn't).
By now the Crew knows not to panic when the kid goes missing for a couple of hours in a harbor town—which is why no one noticed Ten Ten's disappearance until it was too late.
"Could someone please explain to me," what starts as a mutter becomes a shout as anxiety takes over Sokka, "why on earth did we go into town to buy necessary, highly specific supplies, and returned—not only with a stolen waterbending scroll—stolen! From pirates, Katara!—but with a Fire Nation-looking KID?!"
While Ten Ten is having the time of his life goofing with Aang, out-sassing why-is-this-happening-to-me Sokka, and melting Katara's heart—Zuko is losing his mind, sanity, and temper because how on Agni's name do you lose a Prince of your nation?
But, sir, he's like three-feet-tall—
HOW, JEE?!
Needless to say, the pirates kidnap the pretty waterbending thief and her kid with the sharp tongue and fancy-looking clothes. Which turns out to be a Bad Idea™ because, well, a skinny guy from the watertribes and his way-too-young-to-be-bald companion? They can absolutely deal with them.
A Crew's worth of murderous Fire Nation soldiers lead by the unforgiving, terrifying, bloodthirsty Prince?
They are not ready for that.
#dema answers#atla#avatar the last airbender#zuko#Spitfire AU#Lu Ten II#the gaang#atla sokka#atla aang#atla katara#the waterbending scroll#In which Zuko loses his kid and goes full Sozin on the pirates#Which—understandable#Imagine the Gaang just standing by and looking befuddled during the whole thing#“Who on earth is this guy and why is he—oh he's your big brother? Can't really see the resemblance—what do they mean he's THE PRINCE?!”#Cue Sokka passing out (he did NOT faint) Katara cursing her (un)lucky stars and Aang trying to become friends with the bloodthirsty warrior#The battle is over quickly. Now the pirates are gone and Zuko just stands there for a minute straight scowling and breathing heavily.#And then he snaps out of it and runs towards a beaming Ten Ten and just bear-hugs the kid like he's the only thing Zuko has left.#Saying things like “I was so worried” and “please don't ever do that again” and “are you okay? Did they hurt you?” and “I love you Spitfire”#And the Gaang just...understands#He's not a bloodthirsty villain looking for a fight. He's a terrified big brother who would do anything to protect his sibling.#Zuko doesn't say anything to them that night. He recognises the Avatar immediately (those tattoos are not subtle). But he just doesn't care.#They protected and took care of Spitfire. Even if they didn't have to. Even if they knew what he was (what nation he belongs to).#And he's thankful. He still wants to kill someone—but he's thankful.#So he looks at each of them in solemn contemplation. He nods. He takes Lu Ten II in his arms and leaves.#And the Gaang is left wondering what just happened and what will this mean for them in the future.#(Ten Ten doesn't shut up about them for ages. He tells Zuko stories about the funny arrow guy and Grump and the girl with the pretty smile)#(And Zuko doesn't quite know what to do with that)#(So he just smiles and changes the subject when Spitfire says that he'd really like for Zuzu to meet his new friends)#(Zuko isn't ready for that—not yet)
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Alternate timeline where Stanley doesn’t accidentally ruin Ford’s project but he still doesn’t get into Geek Life University bc some kid showed up with a baking soda volcano
#Happens every time I’m telling ya#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#a tale of two stans#Y’all I just thought of smth fucked up#Remember that baby pic where ford was reaching towards the yellow triangle?#What if bill’s always been there#Cuz perpetual motion machines aren’t scientifically possible (think it’s bc entropy or smth to do w/ thermodynamics)#Ford couldn’t have made one—no one can#Either he was scamming them or (if what I said abt bill above is correct) *he* fucked w/ Ford’s machine to make it weird#Bc ford getting into a top school means he has more opportunities which means a better chance of getting the portal built#And then when Ford starts being like “screw your cipher” bill’s like “oh you think you can just *leave* me; I *made* you sixer!”#“I’m the reason you got into that fancy pants college! You honestly think you could’ve built that machine#We may be a team but I’m the mvp—always have been”#Okay I know it’s far-fetched but what is the gf fandom if not full of far-fetched theories (ain’t even a theory really more like an excuse#for angst and also bc of the fact that Ford invented Physics Breaker 5000 was slwsys a sticking point for me FOR SOME REASON)#Like I truly don’t know why that of all things bothers me#I really did just devolve into fanfic in the tags of a shitpost—oh and ig ford got into west cost in that au/version of events#shitpost
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So I drew these under the assumption that diane used to be part of kitty's crew and realized after that i don't actually know if that's tru or not so uuuuuhhhh probably should've just waited for the movie to come out to start drawing shit but 👍
#my art#doodles#the bad guys#diane foxington#tbg kitty kat#the bad guys 2#IF thats the case tho i have so many thoughts about it already#its juicy. u kno#not to compare them to fluffyvenom but i feel like there ARE parallels IF THIS IS THE CASE.#like imagine being so close with this girl for who knows how long#you understand each other. you support each other. you're there for each other.#you her and ur other friends are like a genuine family#its you against the world#and then one day she decides to say fuck all that and leave#and you dont understand why. you feel betrayed#she did what was best for her but what was WORST for YOU#as the audience we know diane did the right thing for herself. but imagine being kitty & her crew#imagine the resentment that would fester on BOTH sides#(and obv did based on the fight snippets we got)#but the love will always still be there. the betrayal wouldn't hurt otherwise#anyway if all of that turns out to not be relevant just forget i sad anything !!!!!#ok love u bye#also do they have a ship name?? pls enlighten me if so#I'll never abandon crimsonwebs in my heart btw but. come on
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Animation commission I guess...
Um... ha-ha, okay, it has been stuck in my head for the whole month, but if I will keep it any more I will explode, I need to busy my brain even more I'd like to take an animation commission. Like, a fully colored, shaded, with lightning, with in-betweens, with the clean line (and background). Up to 5 seconds depending on what you want to get I guess the price may start from 250$ and be higher or less depending on complexity of the details, character or movement (<- of course everything will be negotiated) I never took such commissions before so please be patient with me since I might spend even months ha-ha (really wanna beat this fear of taking something more complex) But I will do my best since it will be first experimental time for me 1. Payment via Boosty after acceptance of the sketch animation (very rough idea) 2. I think I can draw mostly anything (but won't 18+, guro and I can decline something if I feel like I will not like to do it) 3. You must have a reference of the character, I'm not ready to work with something that doesn't have a ref to start working right away 4. Please, properly think of what you'd like to see, I will not make 3 different rough animations of different ideas because you suddenly had another idea ;~;; 5. Note me in dms if you'd like to take commission... (I'd like to move to discord later since it's more comfortable in here) Uh... I have only this as a more or less proper example (it was based on amazing storyboard by yeye23)
Okay, I'll just leave it here if someone really will be interested and will delete if it if it will be decided.... I just feel like my brain is dying if I don't have an enjoyable/stressful more complicated work on a side that demands an attention from me. Have a nice day
#I just...#I have what to do#Plenty of what to do#But it doesn't stress me enough to make my brain work#Such kind of commissions give me both a boost of work and enjoyment because of the process#So... yeah ah my brain is very much lacking it right now#And I think it will be interesting to finally do something complicated again but more properly#from the very beginning#I need an experience while I have time to pay attention to it#commission#I'm still not very confident to take money for these kind of works so I need to understand what pricing is okay for what I'm able to do wit#animation...#*opens the door*#*leaves the stage*#hahhh my dear life why did you give me such a lazy brain...
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Gege is still recovering and goes on extended hiatus but turns out was secretly drawing and now releasing this new official art of Yuuji and Choso! 😭 they look so relax and happy, outside having picnic together! Choso is napping on the rattan mattress while smiling and Yuuji is waving at the cameraman. Between them two cans of beverage. The left one a can of tea and the other one written either Pokka or Ponka? (Pokka Sapporo is a JP's manufacturer of canned and bottled beverages)
This is an official art by Gege Akutami that will be made into lenticular bookmark as natsucomi freebie in (participating) bookstores coming July
#I KNOW THEY ARE LIVING TOGETHER HAPPILY EVER AFTER WHAT WE SAW IN MANGA IS FANFIC CZ GEGE LOVES THEM TOO MUCH TO SEPARATE THEM#JUST ADMIT IT GEGE! YOU HAVE SOFT SPOT FOR THESE TWO ARENT CHA NO NEED TO BE SHY! WE CAN ALREADY SEE IT AS CLEAR AS DAY#WHY ELSE YOU MADE CHOSO AND YUUJI'S SCENES AND FLASHBACKS BEFORE LEAVING SO DRAMATICALLY BEAUTIFULLY TRAGIC LIKE THAT#thank you so much for this new official art omg 😭😭😭#look at what comes thru my gc I got triple gifts choso-related things today what did I do to deserve these surprises#jujutsu kaisen#official art#choso#yuji itadori#jjk choso#itadori yuji#itadori yuuji#smiling brothers go on relaxing picnic after shooting Choso's last scene the angstiest scene in the drama series Called JJK#gege akutami#choita
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shiv's motivations for voting to pass the gojo deal are so layered and i don't think they should be dismissed in favour of any one interpretation. shiv desperately grabbed on to a lifeline for her relationship with tom. shiv was the deciding vote and she couldn't bear to hold the crown only for a moment just to place it atop her brother's head. shiv knew she would have more influence as wife of CEO rather than sister of CEO. shiv absolutely hated seeing kendall crystallize into logan before her eyes, especially when he made roman bleed ("and if we did kill him we get to go to bed") -- succession has always been about siblings so of course she tried to free her brothers before her child. shiv still thinks she can raise her child with all the material benefits of being the daughter of waystar CEO while doing better by her, whatever that means. and all of those things are true
#shiv roy#succession#succession spoilers#ok i'm sleeping#wait i know i just assumed tomshiv baby is a girl but like. i'm right#also i have seen many people say shiv did it purely out of spite and i will say#i don't think they would have had dialogue about shiv saying she's tired and they should all rest#or panned to shiv looking at roman's face fresh with blood#or shown shiv tearing up over her conversation with tom at the beginning of the episode#or had her say 'i cannot stomach you' which has pretty obvious connotations even in the context of succ#or had shiv make up her mind precisely when kendall said the andrew dodds confession was a lie#if her motives weren't meant to be read as ambiguous. they would not have put those things in there without reason#shiv leaving the room may have been impulsive spite but what came after was more complicated#it's also not even wholly altruistic it's just cold admittance that they don't have It. she thinks she does#and i'm not sure why the sentiment that they can't take it but she can surprises anyone#she's literally always seen herself as the exception
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