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seriouslycromulent · 6 years ago

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OK. So I finished binge-watching Black Lightning on Netflix and ...

... Oh my damn! I really didn’t want to give this show a chance because I’m vehemently anti-Berlanti-verse and just general anti-CW writing, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I’m on board for Season 2 when it airs this fall.

I think a part of the reason this show works for me more than the other Berlanti-verse shows is because of Mara Brock Akil. She’s the executive producer, and I’d like to believe it’s her influence and leadership that makes the dialogue and characterization on Black Lightning just 10x more realistic and engaging than the hokey after-school specials that make up the rest of the DCtv world on the CW.

Add to that the fact that the acting is far better than what I’d expect from the CW universe, and I have to say...

I only started the show yesterday, and I’m already on episode 10 (of 13) finished. And now my biggest complaint is why didn’t this show get a full season from jump? But I shan’t dwell on the could haves and should haves. Instead, let me share why I’m enjoying this series so much:

The superhero is over the age of 40. Thank goodness! For a network dedicated to high cheek-boned youth and their parental figures occasionally offering a word of cliched advice, I’m so happy to see something developed outside of that superhero trope.

The main superhero has to juggle an actual family and full-time job. Now, like most superheroes, we don’t see him doing his job nearly as much as he should be when the action gets going, but it’s still somewhat believable that a high school principal can afford the life that he leads and have a family without going:”Where is all this money and time coming from?”

Team Anissa all the way! Granted, she did her old girlfriend wrong, and deserved to be called out on it, but she’s easily my second favorite character on the show.

Speaking of family dynamic and Anissa, how much do I love the relationship Jennifer and Anissa have as sisters?! Like seriously. They remind me of real life sisters. Not “TV” sisters. Their dialogue and behavior toward one another -- whether they’re arguing or supporting each other -- is so on point, I feel like I’ve heard these conversations before in person between different members of my family.

The constant commentary on Black Lightning’s outfit is cracking me up. I like how every other episode someone on the street or in the neighborhood compares his outfit to something they saw in Parliament Funkadelic or Earth, Wind & Fire. :-)

Jill Scott. She was a wonderful surprise to the cast, especially in the role she played. I wish she had had more screen time because Ms. Scott just has the most magnetic presence, and I’ve never seen her get to play a role like this.

Ha! The Garfield High School mascot is a panther. I see what you did there!

Other cameos I’m feeling: Senator Nina Turner. Roland Martin. Antonio Fargas. I would love to see more of this type of diverse cameos in the future.

Again, I know this is a CW show, so the younger audiences are their bread and butter. But I really like the 1970s music they have playing during Black Lightning’s fight scenes. I feel like it’s a great tip of the hat to the comic book’s 1970s’ origins, and well, most of the songs are just great jams. I appreciate the hip hop music too, plus the original songs written clearly for the show. But the ‘70s music is a nice touch.

Soooooo ... Khalil? Can I get your number? Because damn if that child ain’t fine.

In episode 10, when that lady tried to drop her A/C unit and microwave on top of Black Lightning in the alley ... I damn near spit out my water! And when she said her name was, “Rent. Car-Note-Electric” I almost fell out of my chair. See, that’s something you just would not hear on Supergirl or The Flash.

Like most CW shows, one of my biggest problems with Black Lightning in the beginning is that they don’t write transitions well. For the first 5 episodes, you constantly feel like they’ve cut a scene that had some important information or character development for a scene they left in. Legends of Tomorrow did this a lot. I mean, a lot. But thankfully, as I continued to watch this show, that trait seems to have disappeared a bit and has become less of an issue.

I’m a bit thrown every time Tobias Whale makes a derogatory comment about Black people, then turns around and makes a derogatory comment about White people. Is it purely the result of self-hate borne from an abusive upbringing? Or is there a tad bit of genuine Uncle Ruckus lurking beneath the surface there?

Even though her attitude sometimes gets on my nerves, I love the exploration of a character with superhero powers who doesn’t want to be a superhero. We rarely see that explored in the mass media adaptation of comic books, so it’s a nice swerve compared to the current slate of superhero fare where we either see people eagerly wanting to be superheroes or we see villains reluctantly become anti-heroes, then superheroes. Jenn’s desire to just be normal in the face of the possibility that she might have a higher calling in life is a great trope subversion.

The makeup on Gambi’s face while he was being beaten and after it had supposedly dried was not good. Dude, seriously. The makeup department dropped the ball on their end with those details. It didn’t look realistic at all and it was too over-the-top.

Another great trope subversion: The techie/hacker of this franchise is a man over the age of 60 instead of a teen or young adult under the age of 30. Sweet!

Can I just say the Pierce family is probably my favorite biological superhero family of all-time? Yes. Yes, I can.

Favorite line of the season: “You got to bring ass to get ass.” - Detective Henderson

Jefferson’s dad’s old house has a wood-encased floor unit television set with a push button remote. Awwww, that reminds me of my grandmother’s old TV set.

I wonder if Gregg Henry ever gets tired of playing bad guys?

Khalil’s dreadlocks look ... not ... good. Either that’s a really bad wig or whoever twisted his hair has a broken hand.

Ahhh, so Syonide does know how to aim for the forehead when she shoots. Could’ve fooled me when she was fighting Thunder that first time.

So I mentioned that Anissa/Thunder is my second favorite character. That means someone else is my first. And it is ... Gambi. I know. I know. Go ahead and take my Black Card away, but from the first episode on, all I wanted was an episode dedicated to learning his secrets. And not just secrets as they relate to Alvin and Jefferson. I still want to know about his past. Like, why did he say he was a “monster” to Proctor? He stayed in Freeland even after he left the ASA, but does he have family that’s missing him or looking for him? Did he look after Jefferson in an official capacity after Alvin died? Was he his legal guardian? Or was Jeff in foster care and visited Gambi a lot? That man has been some places and did some things, and I can imagine a ton of backstory there to fill in. Yes, I know he’s the only white guy in the cast of mostly minorities, but to be frank, that just makes me respect James Remar more. I’ve been a fan of Remar’s for years. I even got to meet him 2 years ago at a convention in Philadelphia. And the man’s IMDB page is ridiculously long. Seriously, check it out. So he’s not hurting for work. He’s not up and coming. He’s not an older actor struggling to keep his name in the game. He’s a respected character actor who has a very successful career. The fact that he probably has white actors telling him to turn down this project because he’s “above” it, but he’s on the show as the anchor just makes me proud to call myself a fan. Either way, Gambi is a cool cat with a terrible mustache, whose background is a mystery. And I’m a nerd who loves mysteries and lots of character development in my genre fiction TV shows. It’s a perfect match. But yeah, he’s the only white regular on the show, and he’s my favorite. You mad? Good. His role could’ve easily been played by another actor of a different racial/ethnic background and I would’ve felt the same about Gambi. I pretty much like all scenes with him in them, especially when Gambi interacts with Anissa or Jennifer. That cool uncle vibe is sweet, and I think it adds a nice layer to the family dynamic on the show. Anyway, enough about him ... For now.

To sum up, I highly doubt I’ll ever go back to watching Arrow. Now that Jeremy Jordan has left Supergirl, I doubt I’ll be checking in on that show anymore either. Legends of Tomorrow is just ... ugh. But because I love Matt Ryan’s John Constantine so much, I just know I’ll probably peep an episode here and there throughout the new season. And I’ll probably be disappointed because ... ugh. And The Flash? I know a lot of people on Tumblr love that show, so I’m going to play nice and say nothing about it.

But I’ll definitely be checking out Black Lightning season 2 and hoping that the common CW failings don’t work their way into the show. It’s a highly entertaining series, and a breathe of fresh air for this crowded genre. Here’s hoping season 2 is a full 22-episode season!

#black lightning #cress williams #james remar #china anne mcclain #fandom #christine adams #nafessa williams #marvin krondon jones iii

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sonoflayton · 4 years ago

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Timeline

Mystery Room Inspector 29 CURRENT INSPECTOR Alfendi Layton, inspector of New Scotland Yard's "Mystery Room", at your service.

Growing up too Fast 6-8 CHILDHOOD STUDENT Little Alfendi Layton is a young child who's been exposed to the harshness of the world far too early. With a neglectful, abusive mother, Al and Fendi have no choice but to fend for themselves.

Every Rose has its Thorns 8 CHILDHOOD STUDENT A deadly pandemic has swept the city of Portland, Maine. Alfendi has lost their mother to the Rosalia virus, and they're now fighting the same virus in Resurgam hospital. Now that their mother has passed, Alfendi is now in a state of limbo; once they recover from Rosalia, they will surely be picked up by CPS and taken into foster care.

It Takes A Village 8-12 CHILDHOOD STUDENT Young Alfendi is a lot like older Alfendi, but a lot… more so. Fendi is very, very eager to please people and be quiet, kind, friendly, and helpful, while Al is violent, isn’t very good with his anger management, gets into trouble often, and has a tendancy to drive people away. These two are a handful, but they’re doing their best after everything they’ve been through. They live now with their adoptive father, Hershel Layton, and their sisters, Katrielle Layton and Flora Reinhold-Layton.

A Teenager with Teenage Problems 13-17 TEENAGEHOOD STUDENT Alfendi's life hasn't been easy so far, but now, he's finally in a good place, with a loving, supportive family. Al is still violent and destructive at times, lashing out at people, but with support from his school, family, and therapy, he's getting better. Fendi struggles with socializing and making friends, and Al's reputation isn't helpful, but he's making progress, too.

Too Soon the World Came Crashing Down 18-22 College years Student It’s an young adult Alfendi, aged 18 - 22. Al and Fendi are struggling with the disappearance of their father, the juggling of college, a minimum wage job, the care of a child, and house work. They’re very tired and very stressed, but they’re doing their best to stay afloat despite the hardship.

A Foreboding Fate 23-24 Pre-Forbodium Inspector Alfendi Layton: renowned homicide inspector within Scotland Yard. He's currently on a task force working to catch the Jigsaw Killer, and when off the clock, looking into the case of his missing father. He's just moved into his father's old flat, but he's still a primary caregiver for his little sister.

The Path Less Travelled 29 CURRENT INSPECTOR

This verse is an imagining of what might've happened if Lisa hadn't died, and thus, things turned out slightly differently. Instead of adopting Alfendi after his mother's death, Hershel Layton bonds with Fendi, meets Al, and uncovers the truth behind his and Lisa's relationship. With some strings pulled, Hershel was able to foster Alfendi.

Nowadays, Alfendi Cunningham is the sole inspector of the Scotland Yard's Mystery Room. Al is a well-liked character at the Yard, acting much like a big brother to those he's familiar with. He teases, but it's all in good fun. Fendi, in juxtaposition to Al, is reclusive, standoffish, and quiet, and tends to be the character that others avoid, which is perfectly fine by him. He'd rather do his work quietly and go home than socialize.

Since the hospital, Alfendi has had a few interactions with his mother: Her trial, where he stood as a witness at the age of nine, and a meeting with her at her prision at the age of sixteen, which didn't go well. Since then, Alfendi has been no-contact with his mother.

Ten Thousand Little Voices 29 CURRENT INSPECTOR AND UNWILLING SPIRIT MEDIUM

Alfendi Layton has a secret: he can hear, and sometimes see, the dead. While this is an amazing power, if someone asked him about it, he would say that he'd rather live without it. While it can be helpful at times, if he happens to overhear the voice of his case's victim declaring the name of their murderer and such, most of the time it causes him more harm than good. If he helps one spirit with their unresolved business, the rest will come flocking to him, asking for help, and as one man with two identities, he simply can't help every single ghost. He is forced to ignore the spirits, pretending he can't hear or see them, and this tears him apart inside.

Because of his ability and the fact that he can't shut it off, Alfendi suffers from frequent migranes, fatigue, and irritability late in the day.

Nobody Suspects A Thing 6 PRE-ROSALIA NONE

One day, little Alfendi finds an octopus man on the shores of Portland, Maine. What he didn't expect was that this octopus man would rescue him from his terrible home life and take him in as his own.

Since then, they've become a tight-knit trio, bonding over the fact that they're hiding a 16-foot-tall octopus man in Alfendi's house without his mother knowing. This lasts two years, before the Rosalia Virus pandemic strikes the city, and Lisa leaves Alfendi at home while she rushes to the hospital after developing symptoms. A few days later, Alfendi begins developing symptoms of his own, and in an act of brute strength and willpower, Kraken manages to singlehandedly carry Alfendi across the city to the hospital. There, they meet one Hershel Layton, and their lives were changed forever.

A Promise to Gabriel 8 AND ONWARD ROSALIA N/A

Alfendi Cunningham, age 8, has come down with the Rosalia Virus. Fortunately for him, he's under the care of a top doctor, one Dr. Karsten Lorimer. As it turns out, years before, Karsten had been a good friend of his father, Gabriel, and promised to him that if anything happened to him, Karsten would take care of Alfendi. Shortly after, Gabriel and Alfendi were involved in a bus accident, one that killed Gabriel and injured Alfendi. Karsten operated on Alfendi's legs. Five years later, Alfendi and his mother contracted the Rosalia virus, and Karsten, who had been flown in from overseas to help lighten the load of the hospitals, began tending to Alfendi, who is among many who are bedridden.

This is a spin-off of Nobody Suspects a Thing.

A Found Family 8 AND ONWARD ROSALIA N/A

Karsten Lorimer, after having adopted Alfendi Lorimer, meets Claira Davers, a charming, funny woman who works as a forensic pathologist. Over time, the two fall in love, and Claira starts to integrate into the family.

This is a spin-off of A Promise to Gabriel.

We Are Rosalia 8 AND ONWARD ROSALIA N/A

The world is infected with the Rosalia virus, A virus that has become sentient, and those infected become part of the hivemind. A man with a target on his head by the virus and a small boy, sick with Rosalia, is humanity’s last hope. He promised gabriel to protect this boy, Alfendi, and he will.

Follow their story as Karsten Lorimer races against time and races through America, curing Rosalia... and hopefully, Not becoming one of them.

This is a spin-off of A Promise to Gabriel.

The Last Survivor 8 AND ONWARD ROSALIA N/A

The world is infected with the Rosalia virus, A virus that has become sentient, and those infected become part of the hivemind. The entire world, and every living thing within it, has been infected, and now planet Earth is nothing but an incubator for one hivemind organism... Except for one creature, Kraken, a octoman who cannot be infected.

Knowing that Kraken is the key to creating a Rosalia cure and vaccine, Rosalia has developed a relationship with the Kraken, creating a bond of trust with which Rosalia can monitor him easily.

This is a spin-off of Nobody Suspects a Thing and We Are Rosalia.

Other Worldly CHILD 8 AND ONWARD N/A

TBA.

CROSSOVER

Multiverse: Parallel Worlds Theory 29 CURRENT INSPECTOR

A catch-all crossover verse. In this verse, Alfendi is aware of the multiverse, and things that happen and interactions that take place in this verse are remembered, and regarded as canon to this verse. (Ex: If Alfendi interacts with a Flora, then interacts later with a different Flora, he's aware that these two Floras are different people and still remembers the prior interaction with the first Flora.)

The Truth Lies in the Evidence 29 CURRENT DETECTIVE

After the events of Forbodium, Alfendi Layton moved to Los Angeles, California for a change of scenery and people to help move on from the past. It seems that the legends of Professor Layton have travelled all the way to America, as Alfendi is hired by the LAPD as a homicide detective despite his besmirched record. Alfendi now works closely with the prosecutor's office to find and punish criminals, but it can be difficult with all this false evidence being thrown around, not to mention these damn defense attornies thinking they can just wander on the scene and take whatever evidence they please. The legal system here needs work.

A Ghost of the Person I Used to Be 29 CURRENT DECEASED

The events at Forbodium four years later took a different turn. When Justin arrived at the scene, Diane already had her gun pressed against Alfendi's head. Diane, knowing she was about to die but determined to exact her revenge on the man she believed to have killed her father, shot first, killing Alfendi before she took a bullet from Justin's gun, and Justin Lawson changed the scene of the crime to set Lucy up to take the fall for the murder of Diane Makepeace with the motive of revenge killing. Under typical circumstances, this is where the story of Alfendi Layton would have ended.

These circumstances, however, are far from typical. It so happens that on the night he died, Keelan Makepeace had been wearing a very special locket, one with a shard of a very special meteorite kept in it.This meteorite, the Temsik Meteorite, grants special powers known as 'ghost tricks' to the spirits of those who die in its presence. This necklace was given to Diane Makepeace among the rest of her father's belongings, and having recognized it as her father's favorite necklace, she wore it non-stop for four straight years. In the tower, that day Alfendi and Diane died, she had been wearing it, just like every other day.

Alfendi and Diane found themselves in the strange predicament of being dead but not as dead as they imagined they would be, wielding paranormal powers. The two of them hitched a ride out of Forbodium on the belongings of the crime scene investigators. Diane, having exacted her revenge on Alfendi and realizing that her father may still be roaming the earth, parts ways with Alfendi after reaching the city, and Alfendi lets her go, seeing as she no longer has any murderous intent and that he no longer has any sort of way to punish her. Now, Alfendi mostly spends his days silently watching over his sisters, lurking at crime scenes and using ghost tricks to bring attention to evidence, and wandering aimlessly across London.

Officer Jenny is a Stereotype 29 CURRENT INSPECTOR

In the Pokémon universe, Alfendi Layton is an inspector with the police in Windon, Galar. With his two trusty Lycanrocs, a midday form called Sola and a midnight form named Fang, Alfendi works hard to catch criminals.

Alfendi was raised in Unova with his father, a doctor at a Castelia city Pokémon center, but a terrible accident took his life, forcing Alfendi to live his his abusive mother. A few years later, an outbreak of a deadly disease killed her, and Hershel Layton, a Pokémon professor from Galar who had been helping to find a cure for the disease, took in Alfendi as his own.

While Hershel was studying different forms of Pokémon, he caught three Rockruff puppies and raised them in his home. Al and Fendi bonded with the puppies, and when Alfendi started his own Pokémon journey, Hershel gifted two of the pups to him as his starters (the third, the dusk form, was still being studied).

Alfendi gathered six badges, but his journey was cut short. He needed to return home suddenly to take care of his little sister, Katrielle, because Hershel suddenly vanished. Instead of continuing his gym challenge, he took up a job working as an officer to help support his family, and over time, rose the ranks to Inspector.

Not Such A Lone Wolf 29 CURRENT INSPECTOR

Alfendi is a wolf who's decided to get away from boring everyday life by signing up for Tom Nook's not-so-deserted island getaway package. Now he lives there, going about his new life, making friends, catching fish and insects to sell for bells, and collecting and crafting furniture. Oh, and he also works at the island's police station as an inspector, where he mainly watches over the lost and found, helps to settle disputes amongst fellow villagers, and works to catch that scamming scoundrel, Redd the con artist. What a quiet life he leads, now.

OTHER

A Case That Isn't so Strange 29 CURRENT INSPECTOR It’s Fendi and Al, in their natural habitat! This verse abides by similar lore as the Professor Layton franchise and is used when my RP partner and my’s canons contradict one another and we have decided to abide by my partner’s canon. There will be differences from canon and my partner’s canon as we see fit.

Undefined UNKNOWN UNKNOWN UNKNOWN The verse in which the universe breaks as we know it. Or not. We'll just have to find out together, won't we?

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thumper-darling · 7 years ago

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Will you send 65 questions my way?

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

Oh my gOD YES. What if there is no life apart from my own and every person I come into contact with is just a highly thought out illusion in my head and nothing is real?

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

2. It definitely depends on where I am when it is dark? Like, I’m not going to be scared when it’s dark in my bedroom because I’m comfortable there, but I’m gonna be heckin terrified of the dark if I’m in the woods? You feel me?

3. The person you would never want to meet?

Ronald J. Stump

4. What is your favorite word?

Cluster or Truffle

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

Birch tree binch

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

“Wow, I really let myself go” :’)

But no, I thought about how I have mascara rings under my eyes but haven’t worn mascara in 2 days and I have for sure showered since then so why in the frickin heck do I have mascara marks under my eyes?

7. What shirt are you wearing?

An old man’s sweater that I thrifted

8. What do you label yourself as?

Interesting? Adventurous? Quirky? I don’t know, what do you label me as?

9. Bright room or dark room?

Dim room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Being bullied by @parkersenses

Nah, but I was actually having a deep conversation with my little step-sister about life and school advice.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

12. Who told you they loved you last?

Lulu @doctormelapples

13. Your worst enemy?

McDonald J. Rump

14. What is your current desktop picture?

….

a racecar…

15. Do you like someone?

I really like my doggo

16. The last song you listened to?

Adolescent by Lostboycrow

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

I could never hurt somebody, no way. like, how do you expect me to deal with that radical guilt. my conscience is way too pure for that.

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

I would rather not punch people in the face? Does it count if I answer with who I would like to punch me in the face?

19. If anyone could be your servant for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

Um, I would want to have Harrison Osterfield be my “assistant” for a day. I would literally just have them hang out with me because I need friendship to thrive

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

My eyes? or my freckles, even if they are faint

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

I don’t heckin know what I would look like. Like me but more testosterone? I would like to just live my everyday life, but observe the differences from male and female treatment that’s incorporated in our society.

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

I can juggle really terribly

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

I’m not afraid of anything

the past coming back to haunt me

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

Bagel for bread, jalapeno cream cheese, lettuce, tomato, smoked turkey, and havarti cheese

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

Either on a tattoo, or put it in my college savings. But probably on a tattoo because I have no financial security.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

Montreal Canada binch. Okay no, but probably like NYC or LA or something super stereotypical like that.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

Mike’s Hard Lemonade for decades. honestly, I love lemonade and those drinks are so heckin tasty.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

You have a right to your own opinion, until it infringes on the basic human rights of others. Then ur fined and thrown in jail for being a rude ass disrespectful person thx.

29. What is your favorite expletive?

fuck

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

My book “The Perks of Being A Wallflower”

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

The drama that went down with my family last summer and earlier this year

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

Oooh, maybe London or Barcelona? Or Italy. OH ITALY WOULD BE WONDERFUL

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

There was a girl who got into a car accident a few weeks ago, I didn’t know her, but I do know that she was 18 and had just graduated Valedictorian of her class. She had a full ride to college, so I think I would bring her back.

34. What was your last dream about?

A hotel room

35. Are you a good….dancer?

THE ANSWER TO THAT IS YES

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

Ah yes

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

Not well

38. What is the color of your socks?

White.

39. What type of music do you like?

All of it idk

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

Vanilla

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

I don’t know, Michigan State

43. Do you have any scars?

I have a few from accidents when I was younger. I’m a clumsy oof

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

After I graduate college I’d like to be involved with writing somehow. I really want to work on films or work with manuscripts.

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I’d like to be a more energized person

46. Are you reliable?

I like to think so

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

Are you happy with your life?

48. Do you hold grudges?

I really try not to. I don’t like to hold on to hatred or anger.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

A fox and a golden retriever? That’d be a fun mix

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

I once had a conversation with someone about who had cooler socks? And kept sending pics to each other of our goofy sock collection. That was a strange one.

51. Are you a good liar?

God, I hope so

52. How long could you go without talking?

I once went 24 hours without talking, soooo

53. What has been your worst haircut/style?

I LET MY FRIENDS CUT MY HAIR THE SUMMER BEFORE MY SOPHOMORE YEAR AND I ENDED UP WITH A CHERRY RED ASYMMETRICAL BOB AND IT WAS WAY TOO SHORT FOR MY FACE SHAPE AND IT WAS AWFUL

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

I cheated and did like an eggless cake or something like that?

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

Hecking, no. Accents are not my strong suit

56. What do you like on your toast?

Peanut butter or butter with cinnamon sugar

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

a little doodled heart probs

58. What would be you dream car?

Ford fiesta? Idk

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

I sing in the shower when nobody else is home. That’s about it.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

YES It is literally impossible that we are the only living and thriving society in the entire universe? Like?? The possibilities are endless.

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

Not always, but if it pops up on my dash I’ll look at it

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

S or T

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

Dragons! Was that even a question

64. What do you think about babies?

I get nervous around babies. They’re such small, delicate humans and I feel too much responsibility being around babies.

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

You didn’t ask anything, so I’ll just tell you about my day?? I had a college freshman event today and I met some pretty cool people and it has me less worried about starting college. I also think I’m gonna read and write a bit today, so I’m pretty excited about that. Also, my mom comes back from out of town in an hour or so and I can’t wait to see her.

#Get to know me #ask

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newssplashy · 7 years ago

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Finance: College is more expensive than it's ever been for 5 reasons, and there are no solutions in sight

College tuition is higher than ever — from the late 1980s to the 2017-18 school year, the cost of an undergraduate degree rose by 213% at public schools and 129% at private schools, adjusting for inflation. And 45 million Americans have student-loan debt. See what's driving the cost of college.

College tuition and student-loan debt are higher than ever.

College is expensive for many reasons, including a surge in demand, an increase in financial aid, a lack of state funding, a need for more faculty members and money to pay them, and ballooning student services.

The cost of college has made a degree less advantageous than it was 10 years ago, one expert said.

Josh Kirdy knows how to hustle.

When he's not working full time as an assistant store manager at Universal Orlando, the 26-year-old is on the prowl for side work, landing stints walking dogs and putting in part-time hours at a local mall retailer.

He developed this juggling act to put extra payments toward his $37,000 student-loan debt.

"I'm happy with my life today and with the education I received, but it's unfortunate that I'll be paying for it for another seven years at least," Kirdy, who attended a four-year public university, told Business Insider. He's set to pay roughly $300 a month in student-loan repayments until he's 35.

"There are many factors behind the cost of college, and some people have stressed one or another," Richard Vedder, an author and distinguished professor of economics emeritus at Ohio University, told Business Insider.

But the ultimate driver of cost, Vedder said, is the sheer number of people vying for a college education. Higher enrollment has brought an expansion of financial-aid programs, a need to increase budgets for faculty pay and on-campus student services, and a decline in financial support from state governments.

College tuition has more than doubled since the 1980s

Kirdy is just one of the more than 44 million Americans with student-loan debt and contributing to a whopping national total of $1.5 trillion, according to Student Loan Hero. The average student debt per graduate who took out loans is higher than ever, at $17,126, Business Insider reported in November.

These stats are especially troubling considering their effects on people's long-term goals. Millennials are facing unique financial struggles previous generations weren't, like having to save longer for increased housing costs, something that hasn't been helped by the burden of student-loan debt.

"I feel like buying a house is a total pipe dream at this point in my life, but I'm tightening my belt as much as possible to save for a down payment right now," a water-resources engineer who graduated from a public university with roughly $25,000 in debt told Business Insider.

Four years later, she owes just under $19,000. Her $300 payments are set on autopay, which reduces her interest by 2.5% a month. It's more than her $260 income-driven payment plan requires, but she'll pay it down quicker this way.

"Thankfully, I have USAA, who has a great first-time-homebuyer program, so I only need a 3% down payment to get started," she said. "But without that, I would be trapped in a rent cycle until a second income magically appears in my life."

Boone Porcher, who owes $32,645 after five years at a public university, started paying double his minimum payment two years after graduating so he could pay off his debt in five years.

"I started to think more about their impact when evaluating my long-term planning, and I made the decision that I wanted the debt gone entirely ASAP," Porcher, a 26-year-old supply-chain consultant, told Business Insider. "Personally, I don't feel comfortable taking a loan on a house while having student loans."

A recent Student Loan Hero report found that while wages have increased by 67% since 1970, college tuition has increased at a faster rate, continuing to deliver a fair amount of sticker shock.

Roxy Novo told Business Insider her $60,000 student-loan debt from attending a private college had slowed down her life plans. The 22-year-old commutes two hours every day from New Jersey to her job as a studio artist fellow in New York City because her $500 monthly loan payment is equivalent to a portion of what it would cost to rent an apartment in the city, she said.

"I definitely cannot consider moving closer until I get a higher-paying job and get a good chunk of my debt paid," Novo said. "I'm trying to do the responsible thing and eliminate loans before considering any expensive, fun things, but it can be really hard when your friends are out traveling the world and moving to the city and you're swimming in debt."

College tuition was more affordable for older generations, Student Loan Hero reported, citing figures from the College Board: From the late 1980s to now, the cost of an undergraduate degree has risen by 213% at public schools and 129% at private schools, adjusting for inflation.

From the 2016-17 to the 2017-18 school year, the average cost of tuition and fees increased by more than 3% at private and public colleges, according to the College Board's "Trends in College Pricing 2017" report. At a four-year nonprofit private institution, tuition and room and board is $46,950, on average. Four-year public colleges charge an average of $20,770 a year for tuition, fees, and room and board. For out-of-state students, the total goes up to $36,420.

And then there are costs beyond tuition, like living expenses.

"One of the main reasons why I accrued so much debt was because my parents didn't save any money for me to go to college and they couldn't afford to contribute to the cause, so I used student loans not only to pay tuition but also to cover living expenses that my part-time job, which paid $8 per hour, couldn't cover," Kirdy said.

Everyone wants to go to college

"The demand for higher education has risen dramatically since 1985," Vedder said. "Once demand goes up and nothing else happens, that will raise prices."

According to the Department of Education, US colleges expected a total of 20.4 million students in fall 2017, about 5.1 million more than in fall 2000.

"The rewards for college have expanded and grown from 1985 to a little after 2000 and sort of leveled off in the past decade," Vedder said.

The increase in the student population indicates that the advantages college offers outweigh its overwhelming costs.

"There's a fear of failure if you didn't have a postsecondary education," Vedder said.

And yet, he said, the "advantage of a degree today is less than it was 10 years ago, because of the rising cost."

"The return on investment has fallen," he added.

Still, it's a vicious cycle of supply and demand. The more students who want to attend college, the more the cost of college increases, and the more students borrow money.

From 2000 to 2012, the percentage of students who took out student loans jumped to 60% from about 50%, according to a report by the American Academy of Arts & Sciences. The report also found that they began borrowing more money too — the median cumulative loan amount rose to $20,400 from $16,500 in that time.

Theories suggest financial aid causes tuition increases

More student borrowers might partly explain why government financial-aid programs have grown enormously — but that's also causing tuition increases, according to Vedder.

In 1970, financial-aid programs "were almost nonexistent," he said. "Generally, middle-income people didn't get money from the federal government; the large majority of students did not."

In 1978, Congress passed a bill known as the Middle Income Student Assistance Act. This made all undergraduates regardless of income class eligible for subsidized loans and middle-income students eligible for Pell Grants, according to NASPA, Student Affairs Administrators in Higher Education. More and more students started applying for financial aid, Vedder said.

"Knowing that students will get this financial-aid money, the university raises fees and takes advantage to capture that themselves," Vedder explained, referring to an idea known as the Bennett hypothesis.

Named for a former education secretary who believed that more government aid for students led directly to college cost increases, the hypothesis is an ongoing topic of political debate. But it has some vertical support in Vedder's eyes. Citing a statistic from the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, Vedder said that for every new dollar of federal student aid, tuition is raised by 65 cents.

Though tuition rose in 1978, so did people's incomes, making the burden of college less than it was in the 1940s, Vedder explained. But between 1978 and 2015, the burden of college began to rise again as tuition fees doubled and economic growth slowed.

State funding can't keep up with enrollment

Terry Hartle, a senior vice president of the American Council on Education, boils down the increasing cost of college to this: Many state governments have cut operating support for higher education, for at least a generation, and let colleges replace the lost revenue with tuition hikes.

"States provide less, and students and parents pay more," Hartle told Business Insider. "Studies have shown that when state support is level or increasing, tuition is flat. But when state support declines, tuition goes up. Roughly 80% of America's students attend public colleges, so it's not an exaggeration to say that the biggest determinate of the price they will pay for their education is the budgetary decisions made by state governments."

The College Board's report underscores Hartle's theory. It found that prices at public colleges and universities rise faster when government funding per student sees little growth or is slowing down. In the 2015-16 school year, appropriations — money given to a school by the government — per full-time enrolled student were 11% lower than 10 years before, when adjusted for inflation.

"For public institutions, state appropriations make up a significant portion of the college's revenue, and in recent years, the state appropriations have not been able to keep pace with enrollment," Jennifer Ma, a senior policy research scientist at the College Board, told Business Insider.

Vedder, however, doesn't think state funding cuts are the main culprit, at least at private schools.

"The total number of state dollars has gone up a little, but enrollments have risen dramatically, so on a per-student basis they're getting less money," he said. "It's a factor but not dominant, because private schools don't get money from the state."

Colleges need to pay more professors

Just as it costs money to learn, it costs money to pay teachers. Higher education is a labor-intensive industry, and productivity gains come slowly, Hartle said.

"The primary mechanism for delivering higher education at most institutions are highly educated people," he said. "Acquiring and recruiting highly educated faculty and staff costs money, especially in jobs with significant demand outside academia."

Hartle said the sorts of things that could lower these costs — such as larger classes, more adjunct faculty and fewer full-time professors, shorter hours, and fewer books in the library — were immensely unpopular with students, parents, and the public.

"Colleges spend much of their money on staff and compensation, so they have been experiencing an increasing cost of health insurance and other benefits," Ma said, adding that while university tuition allocations vary by institution, most use a large percentage of tuition to pay professors' salaries.

Vedder believes the percentage of university budgets used for instruction has fallen over the past 50 years.

"A typical university around 1970 would have allocated 40% directly for instruction, mostly professor salaries," he said. "Nowadays, it's more like 30%."

This decline in money for teachers and classes, in addition to state funding cuts, may help explain why the number of part-time faculty members has increased over time, to about 51% of total faculty in 2011 from 30% in 1975, according to research compiled by the American Association of University Professors.

With more part-time faculty members, universities can dole out lower wages and benefits, saving money for noninstructional full-time roles and a smaller group of tenured faculty, whom they can try to attract with higher salaries.

Student services, like counseling and healthcare, are growing

Many of these noninstructional roles are for student services, another increasing cost in campus budgets. Services such as academic support, personal counseling, and healthcare have been on the rise, Hartle said.

"These services are always added because of student needs, and most schools, once they begin to offer them, are very reluctant to take them away," he said, adding that there's also been a reallocation from instruction to administration expenses — known as institutional support — and research.

Vedder says there has been an explosion in the number of non-teaching personnel on campus, with several administrators at top universities making six-figure salaries with fringe benefits and secretarial support. He said about two-thirds of university budgets had nothing to do with teaching but instead go toward things like advocates, dormitories, and facilities.

Is the cost of college worth it?

The irony in the demand for a degree is palpable — by contributing to an increase in tuition, it has perhaps also made the college degree less advantageous over time.

To illustrate the diminishing value of a college degree, Vedder cited figures from the New York Fed, saying that one-third of college graduates are underemployed and 13% are in a low-paying job.

So is the cost of college worth it? It depends who you ask and how you measure the value of a degree.

"Honestly, I don't have a lot of job satisfaction, and I don't plan on being an engineer for the rest of my life," the water-resources engineer said. "In terms of getting me a job that pays well, maybe ... In terms of overall happiness, probably not."

Novo said loans were her only option for her first-choice school. A few schools offered scholarship money, but she said she felt they wouldn't help her reach her goals.

"The debt is definitely worth it," she said. "I picked my college with the hope that it would get me my first job and that it would be in my field and in NYC. I happily have a job with all those requests."

For Porcher, the regret isn't obtaining a college degree, but the lack of planning that put him over $32,000 in debt.

"Looking back, I wish I had worked for a year or two and saved up, or did half college, half work," he said. "But my job now wouldn't be possible without my degree. I'm actually the highest-ranking person without a master's or Ph.D. If I didn't have a good job, this would be an enormous burden."

source https://www.newssplashy.com/2018/07/finance-college-is-more-expensive-than_3.html

#News

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foursprout-blog · 7 years ago

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25 Things You Absolutely Need To Learn Before 25

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/25-things-you-absolutely-need-to-learn-before-25-2/

25 Things You Absolutely Need To Learn Before 25

Ryan Christodoulou

Before we begin: the original article on things you need to learn before you are 25 was published in 2005 and it is still relevant today as it was eighteen years ago. But in that time a lot more people have come of age, so I thought an homage wouldn’t hurt. (And yes, I write for myself as much as I do for you.)

1. Doing chores without complaining

Chores are a non-optional part of having your own space, like electric bills and not making renovations without checking in with the landlord first. Yes, ironing is work. Now you know how your parents feel.

2. “There’s no roaches” is not an acceptable standard of cleanliness

It’s unlikely that somebody will show up, cook a ten course meal, and then demand to eat it straight from your floor. You still want to be able to see the floor, have clean dishes, and a worktop that doesn’t have a six-month patina of dry pasta sauce and oil stains.

3. Putting things off that can be done in three minutes is unacceptable

The more you put something off, the guiltier you feel when you are reminded of it, the less you want to do it, the more guilt piles on. It’s a vicious circle. Just scrub the toilet and scan in the document to verify your medical insurance.

4. Respect people working in the service industry

I’m a former customer service rep, and now I teach alongside my PhD. Most of my friends have either worked or are currently doing some sort of customer-facing job. I can verify we are as human as anybody else. We are being paid to do work, not to take abuse. Say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and hold the curse words. It’s not that difficult.

5. Learn how to feed yourself

No, I’m not saying you should be a master chef or even versed in the fine art of reading nutrition labels. I’m saying, figure out what food you like, what it feels like to be hungry or full, then go about procuring said food so that you are fed at reasonable hours. Mooching off your roommates, or taking their stuff without replacing it, is not cool, and an invitation for someone to put laxatives in the milk.

6. Understand the value of a psychologist

I can write a whole piece on this. If you never have to visit a shrink in your life, that’s great. Shitting on people who do – not so much. A mental health professional is like any doctor. You wouldn’t ask any stranger off the street to do your root canal for free.

7. Your significant other/friends/family are not free emotional labor

Do people in relationships provide each other with support? Yes. Do they do that 24/7, nonstop, and unconditionally? No. Human beings experience compassion fatigue. The difference between your girlfriend and a counselor is that the counselor is trained to listen, and gets a pension out of it.

8. It’s okay not to respond to provocation

Chances are, the person egging you on is in more pain than you are. Pick your battles. Live to fight another day.

9. Knowing the battles you absolutely HAVE to fight for

Things like ending childhood poverty and ensuring equal workspaces for all ethnicities and genders isn’t “nice to do”, it’s something we should all be striving for because we live on the same damn planet, treating each other fairly is NOT too much to ask for.

10. Knowing your own boundaries

Conversely, you know that behavior that you hate but you put up with from your boyfriend? The demanding of emotional labor, the backhanded compliments or the outright abuse? What would happen if you told him to stop doing that? Or you asked your girlfriend to not talk down at you in front of your friends? Would they apologize and stop? Would they leave? Would leaving be such a bad thing?

11. Respecting divergent tastes, including your own

You like to read romance novels while your friends are into high-brow, cerebral murder mysteries? You don’t have to paint a coat of irony on top in order to justify it. And don’t go looking down your nose at people who love classic noir – you can think of Hitchcock as an overhyped misogynist bully without saying that Every. Time. Someone. Brings up. The birds.

12. Having the guts to ask for the things you want

A promotion? A date? Some peace so that you can study for your legal exams? Other people are not mind-readers, they can’t know what you’re thinking unless you tell them. Maybe your boss will say no, or that beautiful human you admire is in a relationship, but maybe they are not, and most non-arseholes will respect your need for quiet during a stressful period. You cannot expect others to guess your needs and desires. At some point, you have to stand up for what you want.

13. Learning to take ‘no’ for an answer

You don’t need a million life partners, friends, awards, or jobs (in fact, having a million jobs at once is highly discouraged.) What you need are people who are right for you and an occupation that you don’t utterly despise. Throwing a tantrum when you hear ‘no’ is what toddlers do. And even they get over it eventually.

14. Taking your safety seriously

Abuse is not sexy and if someone threatens you, take it seriously. Sock away money, hide, call the police, SAVE YOURSELF.

15. Acting with integrity whenever you can

Aside from putting yourself in harm’s way (see point 14) being an adult means acting with integrity regardless of whether you find the task pleasurable or not. You want to break up? Don’t cheat as a way out of a relationship. You hate your boss? Look for another job, but don’t go undermining them or poisoning the water for everyone who continues to work there.

16. Holding off on unsolicited advice

Unless someone asks you for advice (or you think they are at risk of immediate physical harm) don’t give your opinions on other people’s lives. You don’t approve of your friend’s diet? Keep it to yourself. You think your brother is dating a loser? It’s not your relationship. Judging other people doesn’t inspire them to change their behavior, it makes them reluctant to come to you for support.

17. Recognizing when something is above your paygrade

Your friend wants to make health changes? Help them make an appointment with a doctor and take them there, but don’t give them advice you’re not qualified to give. Yes, even if you are a doctor yourself. Aside from the fact that this would mean readjusting your relationship, do you honestly want to clock out of work and then go hang out at the pub and do EVEN MORE WORK?

18. Respecting other people’s wishes

Your friend shares something with you under strict secrecy. You think other people need to know. How do you proceed? The sad state of affairs is, there are very few cases when making a unilateral decision to break secrecy are justified. Knowing your boundaries might help you field off any situations where you feel like your personal ethics might stop you from respecting other people’s wishes, but don’t assume you know what is best for another adult.

19. Relationships are WORK

It’s not uncommon to fall out of contact with university mates, childhood besties, and beloved mentors. Life is an egg juggling act where you are constantly subtracting or adding items. Sooner or later you will drop some eggs. Try not to beat yourself up if you lose touch – if you want to reach out again when the juggling eases up, you absolutely can.

20. Trust that others will put in the effort for you, too

Here’s the thing: some relationships ARE lopsided for reasons that we have no control over. Bodies get sick, emergencies hit, and the weather does not give advanced warning to anybody. There are times when we are the ones doing the heavy lifting to maintain a relationship. The problem is when you are ALWAYS the one sacrificing “because it’s what friends do”. What if you stepped back and let the other person put in the effort, too? Is that a scary question? Why?

21. Calling bullshit on what it is

You want a relationship and some dude tries to negotiate down to FWB? Call bullshit. Your friend makes plans with you and expects you to foot the bill? Call bullshit. Your boss is calling you 24/7 on your sick days as if you are working from home? Politely tell them that you would not want to risk your team’s performance when you are not at 100%, and if they persist with that behavior, start exploring (covertly) your options. Don’t be a doormat (yes, I am talking to my 24-year-old self. WTF were you thinking?!)

22. You can absolutely survive without narcissists

Necessity, systematic oppression, and illness are all real factors that impact our lives differently. Some people DO have to put up with a lot of shit for the sake of their survival. But there are also many (many many many many many) others who accept terrible treatment at the hands of narcissists, because they are convinced they cannot survive without them. Don’t fall for this.

23. Knowing what matters to you and working for it

Yes, yes, budgeting is important. I know that you know. I’m talking about the bigger picture – where do you want to live? How do you want to live? What sorts of things matter to you? Where do you want to be in 5, 10, 15, 20 years’ time? I realize I sound like some preppy blogger with shiny hair, telling you to Make A Plan, but guess what? Keeping your visions of the future vague and undefined makes you seem like you don’t care about anything. In job interviews? That’s deadly.

24. Progress is not always linear

Sometimes you will take a step back. That’s okay, that allows you to heal and reevaluate. You wouldn’t expect someone to keep running a marathon if they twist their ankle on the second mile. You would get them some ice and a cupcake and tell them they will annihilate their PB next year.

25. It’s all just a number

Sometimes age matters, such as when you are evaluating your retirement options or when you work with a lot of children and teenagers. It also matters when you try to figure out why a man would only date girls who are half his age (answer: because no woman his age would put up with that bullshit). Other than that? Age doesn’t have to Be A Thing. Don’t make it one, and don’t let others take issue with it either.

We’re just getting started here. And we can make it awesome.

#Happiness

0 notes

foursprouthappiness-blog · 7 years ago

Text

25 Things You Absolutely Need To Learn Before 25

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/25-things-you-absolutely-need-to-learn-before-25-2/

25 Things You Absolutely Need To Learn Before 25

Ryan Christodoulou

1. Doing chores without complaining

2. “There’s no roaches” is not an acceptable standard of cleanliness

3. Putting things off that can be done in three minutes is unacceptable

4. Respect people working in the service industry

5. Learn how to feed yourself

6. Understand the value of a psychologist

7. Your significant other/friends/family are not free emotional labor

8. It’s okay not to respond to provocation

Chances are, the person egging you on is in more pain than you are. Pick your battles. Live to fight another day.

9. Knowing the battles you absolutely HAVE to fight for

10. Knowing your own boundaries

11. Respecting divergent tastes, including your own

12. Having the guts to ask for the things you want

13. Learning to take ‘no’ for an answer

14. Taking your safety seriously

Abuse is not sexy and if someone threatens you, take it seriously. Sock away money, hide, call the police, SAVE YOURSELF.

15. Acting with integrity whenever you can

16. Holding off on unsolicited advice

17. Recognizing when something is above your paygrade

18. Respecting other people’s wishes

19. Relationships are WORK

20. Trust that others will put in the effort for you, too

21. Calling bullshit on what it is

22. You can absolutely survive without narcissists

23. Knowing what matters to you and working for it

24. Progress is not always linear

25. It’s all just a number

We’re just getting started here. And we can make it awesome.

#Happiness

0 notes

harahmed · 7 years ago

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“Do you have any idea what it’s like to be absolutely in love with someone you think will leave you? To wake up every day thinking this, this, THIS is the day she realizes she’s too good for me. So I pushed her out too, and she finally left. She had enough and I don’t blame her.”

You know, this is something I feel has been coming for a long time...and just that fact I have thought that makes me feel shitty about myself. I truly think this is some self fulfilling prophecy action in play. I’ve emotionally neglected my girlfriend for a long time. I ignore her for hours while playing video games, I never remind her how important she is to me, I barely ever go out of my way for her. I’ve known this for a long time and I’ve been trying to change. It’s hard to implement change in your life when so other things have to be juggled. I say I’ve been trying to change but a more accurate statement would probably be I often think about changing.

Honestly, I feel like I grew up and missed a major development point in my life. I just kinda shut myself out from things that make one grow. I half expected there to be some sort of check point while growing up where I would be stopped: “you’re not ready for this next step.” Life goes on whether you’re invested in yourself or not. I disconnected myself from real life things for a long time. I prided myself in doing the bare minimum and getting into medical school. I still pride myself in doing the bare minimum and doing well on exams. Everyone around me is just more mature than me. It’s not longer cool to neglect your work and do well, it’s seen as risky. I don’t think it was ever cool, actually. The people you surround yourself with really do dictate perspective doesn’t it.

And now here I am, 2 years into a relationship with a woman that truly is too good for me. Kind, caring, funny, beautiful, curious. These aren’t just generic descriptions, she truly personifies each characteristic. I choose to play video games instead of talk to her when all she wants is my attention. Even though I always felt she was too good for me, she didn’t feel that way. I could blame my actions on the fact that I thought one day she would actually realize she was too good for me, but I think it’s more appropriate to say my actions are due to my lack of growth and development as a human being over the past couple of years. I’m stuck in a 22 year old body with an 18 year old mentality. Well, the fatigue is finally taking it’s toll. Last week we had a long talk about me neglecting her and I told her I would try to change. 2 days ago, I ignored her for 30 minutes because I was playing video games. I asked her if she wanted to facetime before that but by the time she responded I was already playing. I asked her after 30 minutes of not responding if she wanted to talk then. I called her and she said I can just go play video games. She ignored my messages for the next day and a half. Today, I tried talking to her. In all honestly I was annoyed that this got blown so out of proportion. Normally, I probably wouldn’t even facetime her, being okay with just messaging. This was me implementing that change we both so desperately wanted and talked about. I thought I was heading uphill. This one event isn’t what caused her to be so mad, it’s two years of this bullshit I give her. I thought, though, that since we talked about it, she would start looking at these scenarios that make her feel neglected in a more case by case basis. I don’t know why I hold these unreal expectations for the people around me when I know damn well I would probably never think that way myself. My phone was on silent and the video game got intense so I didn’t check it for 30 minutes. This is a result of every other time I blatantly ignored her.

The same thing has happened multiple times in my life after highschool. I was late twice for my freshmen year job because I was out drinking until 3am the night before a 6am shift. Three strikes gets you fired. One day my roommates were being loud and I didn’t sleep until 3am for a 6am shift. My alarm didn’t wake me up and I woke up at 8. I ran over there and got fired on the spot. I was angry at my roommates for a pretty long time, but I knew deep down I wouldn’t be in this situation if I didn’t neglect my responsibilities the first two times. This has happened in multiple instances where I held some sort of responsibility.

She’s lost something in me. I don’t know if trust is the right word, but I’ve done this so many times she’s had enough. The first time I tried talking to her, I tried to explain where I was coming from. I told her I thought it was unfair of her to react like I’m not trying to change. I was actively talking to her while playing video games up until this 30 minutes and I had every intention to talk to her after I was done. She told me if it was anything else she wouldn’t have minded, but video games just stress me out because there’s a competitive ranking I play in and whenever I lose a game I’m in a bad mood. I told her another *change* I was implementing was I would stop playing ranked. I was just playing with a friend and it was irritating and demoralizing that she thought I would just try to do nothing after having that long talk about neglecting her. The next time she responded, she told me she wanted a break from the relationship to figure some things out. I always tell myself that it doesn’t matter whether you’re right or wrong, what matters is how you communicate that information. I tell myself this bullshit every day and yet I can’t seem to apply it once when it matters. Another idea that sticks out the idea that you’re not allowed to tell me if being upset makes sense. It doesn’t fucking matter if it makes sense, just because it’s not rational doesn’t change the fact that I’m upset. Yet, when it comes to her I used the defense that this isolated incident didn’t warrant this response. This seems to be not a final straw for her, but very near one. Honestly, I don’t think I’m a very good person. I really don’t. I try to avoid going out of my way, even for my own fucking girlfriend, at all costs. Can I even call her that now?

I was never one to learn a lesson without suffering. When I was a kid, my mom told me not to touch the stove because I would burn myself. It’s difficult for me to grasp something like that without having experienced it. This applies to every other thing in my life. I could not put myself in someone’s shoes if I haven’t experienced their situations first. I can’t muster any sort of understanding or empathy.

My whole life, with the women I really loved, I was always the one yearning for their love and attention and honestly they were not necessarily that “type” to do that. It really hurts when you love someone and you’re uncertain about how they feel even if they tell you how they feel. Now that I’m on the other end, why can’t I just give her the emotional support she deserves? I’ve been through it. I dated the first girl I really loved for like 3 months and was on and off with her for like a year. the next girl I never even dated and talked to her for like 5 months then on and off for another year. It really fucking hurts. This is the woman I’ve been dating for 2 years, what the fuck is wrong with me. I can’t muster the same level of emotion or commitment that I used to. I always have thought it’s because of the emotional toll that my last two serious “relationships” took on me. Maybe it’s just my pure laziness. college was the worst thing to happen to my personal development.

I’ve always been a better person when I’m sad. I’m more reflective, more aware of others feelings around me, more caring, harder working, and unhappy. I’m glad she didn’t just take this in fears of annoying me. She’s not the same as me back when I was presented the same situation. I’m happy that she’s putting her foot down. She deserves 100x what I’ve been offering her. There is not one ill willed thing she’s ever done to me consciously. Not one. I don’t think I would ever be able to find someone as amazing as her that would have some mutual level of attraction.

If she breaks up with me, I’ll be absolutely devastated. My life will be obliterated. I don’t mean just now during this break, I mean in general. I know all of this, so why can’t I fucking change. I want her to be happy, I have the means to make her happy, so where the fuck is the disconnect. Do I have some sort of dissociative personality disorder that’s cured with depression? It’s like the saying you don’t really know what you have till it’s gone. I know what I have. I know what I fucking have... so why can’t I change?

If she leaves me, any hope of love in my life in the next twenty years will be gone. The only thing I’ll have to work with is knowing that the only reason I’m not with the love of my life is because I got in the way of it. It was my own actions and neglect. No other reason.

I’m not good enough for her, but has always saw something in me that I didn’t see in myself. That light is starting to dim. This really hurts

#personal

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picardonhealth · 7 years ago

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Insulin: The Canadian discovery that has saved millions of lives

Insulin forever changed what it meant to be diagnosed with diabetes. André Picard looks at one of medicine’s most significant advances, and the researchers – two recognized with a Nobel Prize and two more overlooked – who chose to never make a profit from their miracle drug

ANDRÉ PICARD, THE GLOBE AND MAIL

TUESDAY, AUG. 01, 2017

As part of the 150th anniversary of Canada’s confederation, The Globe and Mail looks at the Canadians, products and discoveries that changed the world.

When he was admitted to Toronto General Hospital in December, 1921, Leonard Thompson, a 14-year-old with juvenile diabetes, was barely clinging to life. He weighed just 65 pounds and despite a starvation diet of 450 calories a day – the only treatment available at the time – his blood glucose was dangerously high.

On Jan. 22, 1922, Leonard was injected with an experimental treatment called isletin. The impact was negligible.

But, 12 days later, researchers tried again. After the injection, Leonard’s blood glucose fell dramatically, to 6.7 millimoles per litre from 28.9 mmol/L. He was discharged from hospital and began to eat more and gain weight.

Within days, six other desperately ill Toronto children received a similar injection, with the same miraculous results. As long as they took an injection daily, their symptoms were largely kept in check.

That drug, renamed insulin, forever changed the lives of people with diabetes. It is one of the great medical discoveries of all times, a Canadian innovation that has saved millions of lives.

Before insulin, children with juvenile diabetes (now called Type 1) lived only 1.4 years on average after diagnosis. Adults fared only slightly better: One in five lived 10 years after diagnosis, but with severe complications such as blindness, kidney failure, stroke, heart attack and the necessity to amputate limbs.

Today, people with Type 1 diabetes have an almost normal life expectancy.

“Insulin is the elixir of life for me. I literally couldn’t live without it,” says Christine Turner, the director of community engagement at JDRF (formerly the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation).

I think a lot of us have shown you can live a good life with Type 1 diabetes, and we have insulin to thank.

The 46-year-old Torontonian was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes at the age of 18 months. She is one of about 300,000 Canadians who live with Type 1 diabetes.

The insulin she takes every day is fundamentally similar to what Dr. Frederick Banting and Dr. Charles Best injected into a dying boy almost a century ago, but there have been many refinements over the years, and in particular since the 1980s.

Today’s insulin is no longer derived from the pancreata of cows and pigs, but genetically engineered in the lab and derived from human cells. Instead of one-a-day shots and strict dietary restrictions (to avoid spikes in blood glucose), insulin needs can now be adjusted to food intake.

Insulin is also far easier to administer. Instead of the thick needles and vials of yore, patients today use small, preloaded disposable syringes or pens to inject or, like Ms. Turner, a tiny insulin pump and cannula that delivers the drug when needed.

“Type 1 used to be in the driver’s seat, dictating what I could and couldn’t do in my life; now Type 1 is in the passenger seat,” she says.

That doesn’t mean it was always easy. When Ms. Turner was diagnosed as a toddler, she was gravely ill, to the point where she had a blue tinge and she was slipping into a coma when rushed to the hospital.

After the diagnosis, her parents had to pin her down to give her injections and strictly monitor her diet. Then, in the puberty years, she suffered seizures (insulin is a hormone and growth and sex hormones affect insulin resistance) and needed glucagon, an emergency treatment for hypoglycemia, on several occasions.

“It’s been scary sometimes but I’ve been lucky to not have too many health challenges,” Ms. Turner says.

The word diabetes, in its original Greek, means “to go through” – so named because the disease drains patients of more fluid than they consume. (Thirst and frequent urination are common symptoms.)

It has also long been associated with sugar. Ancient Hindu texts note that ants were attracted to the urine of people with the mysterious emaciating disease and, for a long time, the illness was diagnosed by having “water tasters” drink urine of patients to test its sweetness. To this day, diabetes is sometimes known colloquially as “the Sugar.”

For a long time, the treatments used were barbaric and largely ineffective. The Egyptians treated the condition by feeding sufferers earth and ground bones. Then there were the classics, such as bleeding, cupping and blistering. Then, when the importance of blood glucose became clear, there were low-carbohydrate diets and fasting diets, where children literally starved to death. But no treatment was effective until insulin.

There are two principal types of diabetes. In Type 1, the body’s immune system destroys the cells that release insulin. In Type 2, which tends to develop later in life, the body can’t use insulin properly. Without insulin, cells cannot absorb sugar (glucose), which they need to produce energy.

“Think of insulin as the key that lets sugar into the cells,” says Dr. Jan Hux, the chief science officer at Diabetes Canada. “In Type 1, the key is lost; in Type 2, the key is not working very well.”

All Type 1 patients need insulin, but only a small percentage of those with Type 2 need injections. The real challenge with insulin, Dr. Hux said, is that it has a very narrow safety range. “You need to constantly juggle because too high and too low can both cause a lot of damage,” she said.

People with Type 1 diabetes can suffer from diabetic coma caused by critically low blood sugar, or from ketoacidosis, a buildup of acids in the blood caused by a lack of insulin in the body, both of which can be fatal.

Dr. Banting, a surgeon, became fascinated with the pancreas, an organ known to produce digestive juices and an unknown substance that regulated blood glucose. He believed that if he could shut down production of the digestive juices, he could isolate the other substance.

Along with his assistant Dr. Best, a medical student, he conducted experiments on dogs. When the pancreas was removed, the dog developed diabetes. When the pancreas of a dog was tied up to stop the flow of nourishment, the animal developed digestive problems but not diabetes.

So the researchers took the partly functioning pancreas, ground it up and injected the liquid into the other dog, which alleviated symptoms. The substance they derived from a tiny part of the pancreas was a hormone called insulin.

Dr. Banting and Dr. Best managed to keep the diabetic dog alive for 70 days, and became convinced the treatment would work on humans.

The work was supported by Dr. John Macleod, a diabetes researcher at the University of Toronto. Dr. Bertram Collip, a biochemist, also played a key role, helping the team extract and purify insulin. (They quickly moved from dogs to pigs and cows, whose organs were easier to obtain in large quantities.)

Insulin is the elixir of life for me. I literally couldn’t live without it.

The 1923 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine was awarded to Dr. Banting and Dr. Macleod. Dr. Best and Dr. Collip were not formally recognized. The relationship between the four was often bitter and acrimonious, a story told brilliantly by the late historian Michael Bliss in his book The Discovery of Insulin.

Amazingly, the researchers did not profit financially from their discovery. Rather, they sold the patent to the University of Toronto for $1, saying no one should profit from a lifesaving medication.

To this day, insulin remains a remarkably cheap drug. In Canada, it costs between three and six cents per unit, and a person with Type 1 diabetes would typically use 40 units daily, or about $1.20 worth. (In the U.S., where drug prices are not regulated like Canada, insulin costs have been soaring so that a U.S. patient can pay 10 times as much as a Canadian.) “I’ve been watching with horror the U.S. experience with insulin,” Dr. Hux says.

She noted, however, that insulin itself is just a small part of the cost of treating diabetes. Patients need to regularly test their blood glucose so they have to pay for test strips or glucose meters. Many people with Type 1 diabetes use insulin pumps, which are not always covered by provincial health plans. The same is true of drugs used to stave off heart disease.

“In this country, it’s a patchwork quilt. Coverage is all over the map,” Dr. Hux says.

A Diabetes Canada survey found that patients spend between $1,900 and $2,600 out-of-pocket. Ms. Turner says she has been lucky to always have private insurance to cover the cost of her medication and supplies, but recognizes that others struggle to pay for their essential medicine.

“Insulin is an elixir, but it shouldn’t be an expensive elixir,” she says.

Insulin is also a treatment, a life-long treatment, not a cure.

Type 1 diabetes, in many ways, also remains a mystery. The exact cause is unknown. In most people, the body’s immune system – which normally fights off harmful bacteria and viruses – mistakenly destroys the insulin-producing cells in the pancreas. Genetics may be to blame, and exposure to certain environmental factors, such as viruses, may trigger the disease.

But, to this day, the scariest aspect of Type 1 diabetes is that it seems to come out of nowhere and sicken children.

“I think the biggest fear for people is the fear of the unknown,” Ms. Turner says. “It’s a shock at first but I think a lot of us have shown you can live a good life with Type 1 diabetes, and we have insulin to thank.”

#insulin NobelPrize diabetes T1D T2D

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elizabethcariasa · 7 years ago

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BAT strikes out and other insights from the GOP's latest tax reform guidelines

"We looked at healthcare and said let's make sure that we do tax reform better and differently." — House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wisconsin) talking about what's next legislatively after the GOP failed earlier today to deliver on its seven-year pledge to end Obamacare.

House Speaker Paul Ryan has been pushing his "A Better Way" economic and tax plan for years. Will he finally succeed in 2017 as a Republican-led Congress and White House turn their attention to tax reform?

Doing a better job in rewriting the tax code than they did during the recent Affordable Care Act repeal and/or replace legislative debacle is one thing that all members of Congress can probably agree on when it comes to rewriting the tax code.

But it might be the only thing.

That, however, is the next major challenge facing Representatives and Senators. And while it's a laudable one, it could be as problematic as the health care debate.

To get there, the Ryan, Ways and Means Committee Chair Kevin Brady (R-Texas), top Senate Republicans and senior White House officials released a statement Thursday, July 27, on where they stand at the beginning of this new effort.

Here are four big takeaways from the 641-word announcement.

1. BAT strikes out: Tax reform 2017 will start later this fall with a loss for Ryan and Brady and others who wanted a border adjustment tax, or BAT. This levy on imported goods also would have created incentives for exporting U.S. companies.

However, neither lawmakers on Capitol Hill, including among Ryan's fellow Republicans, nor the wide array of American businesses and retailers could agree on this tax.

So Ryan et al have agreed to drop BAT from the upcoming tax reform debate.

"While we have debated the pro-growth benefits of border adjustability, we appreciate that there are many unknowns associated with it and have decided to set this policy aside in order to advance tax reform," the statement noted.

2. Regular order for reform: The GOP's effort to repeal and replace Obamacare was done, in both the House and Senate, by that one party. And even most Republican members were kept in the dark about bills until near time to vote on them.

That won't happen with tax reform, at least according to the joint statement. It calls for what is known as regular order, under with legislation is considered the old-fashioned way, being examined by committees, hearings and all, with possible changes being at least discussed if not made, before it goes to a chamber's floor for a full vote by all members.

Specifically, the joint statement says:

"[T]he time has arrived for the two tax-writing committees to develop and draft legislation that will result in the first comprehensive tax reform in a generation. It will be the responsibility of the members of those committees to produce legislation that achieves the goals shared broadly within Congress, the Administration, and by citizens who have been burdened for too long by an outdated tax system."

That means while their bosses are off facing constituents during August's Congressional recess, the staff of the House Ways and Means and Senate Finance Committees will be busy coming up with tax reform ideas.

And presumably, at least on paper (or rather, online), that regular order will be bipartisan. Again, let's go to the statement:

"Our expectation is for this legislation to move through the committees this fall, under regular order, followed by consideration on the House and Senate floors. As the committees work toward this end, our hope is that our friends on the other side of the aisle will participate in this effort. The President fully supports these principles and is committed to this approach."

3. Permanent vs. temporary tax changes: The statement says permanent tax changes area priority. That's a good goal.

Temporary tax laws, aka the extenders that individuals and businesses have had to cope with for years, make tax planning difficult. Last year, some extenders were let lapse, to the dismay of affected taxpayers.

Even when tax provisions are renewed, it can be particularly annoying when that happens at the very end of a tax year and the rules are made retroactive. Let's get real. On Dec. 28 you can't undo some tax-related business or personal tax move you felt you had to make back in May based on the tax law as it was then.

Will we get tax code permanency so we won't have to deal with short-term tax laws? Maybe. Maybe not. It depends in large part on whether budget reconciliation procedures are used.

Typically, it takes 60 votes in the Senate to avoid a filibuster of a bill. The current GOP majority in the Upper Chamber is not filibuster proof, so it's taken to using reconciliation, which requires, as we saw in the recent Obamacare votes, requires just a simple majority of 51, the final one provided by Vice President Mike Pence.

But under reconciliation, legislation generally cannot create a deficit outside the 10- year budget window. This would mean phase-outs and other timing mechanisms are necessary to meet that 10-year monetary restriction.

Not to get too tax-geeky, but this is why the so-called Bush Tax Cuts were put in place under George W. Bush's administration for a decade only, leading to their expiration, and the increased rates on richer taxpayers, when Barack Obama was in the White House.

And now, without the tax money that would have come from eliminating many Affordable Care Act taxes, tax reformers must grapple with the budgetary effects of any Internal Revenue Code rewrite.

Theoretically, tax reform is possible that would not increase the deficit over the next decade. Realistically, that's very difficult, since it would require raising revenue somewhere.

It's always problematic to raise revenue taxes. It's even harder in a midterm election year, which is what 2018, the year the tax reform would likely take effect, is.

So rather than hassle with juggling numbers for the long haul, this presidential campaign promised version of tax reform might have some temporary tax provisions. Oh joy.

4. No numbers yet: One of the reasons that it's not clear just how much of tax reform will be permanent or temporary is that neither lawmakers nor their statement on the process are yet talking numbers. At least not officially.

The statement on tax reform says its issuers' mission is to "make taxes simpler, fairer, and lower for hard-working American families." That's cool.

It also notes that they will seek "a lower tax rate for small businesses so they can compete with larger ones, and lower rate for all American businesses so they can compete with foreign ones." Again, I'm for that.

But while it says, "We have always been in agreement that tax relief for American families should be at the heart of our plan," there's no further mention in the statement of individual taxes.

That's probably because that even within the Republican Party, which controls the House, Senate and white House, there's no agreement on tax rates, either individual or business.

Donald J. Trump has called for a new corporate rate as low as 15 percent, down from the current 35 percent. That, however, would explode the national debt.

Most Congressional Republicans, however, have proposed a 20 percent top business tax rate. Some support a 22 percent rate

Steve Bannon, Trump's primary populist adviser, appears to be further bucking GOP orthodoxy by calling for an individual tax rate hike for higher earners. Bannon reportedly supports paying for middle-class tax cuts with a new top rate of 44 percent for those who make more than $5 million a year.

Currently, the top individual rate is 39.6 percent. Higher-income investors also face the still-in-effect 3.8 percent Affordable Care Act surtax.

Ryan's own "A Better Way" tax plan, on the other hand, calls for reducing the current tax rates from seven to three: 12 percent, 25 percent and 33 percent.

These disparate numbers on just the GOP side and how they might affect the federal debt is why there are no hard numbers yet. And we've yet to consider that Democrats, if included in the regular order process, will argue for their own tax cuts and revenue raisers that are dramatically different from their Republican colleagues.

So what's my best tax reform tax advice for now? Rest up while Congress is on its late summer vacation. You'll need all your energy to follow tax reform when the process starts later this year.

You also might find these items of interest:

Presidential tax policy from JFK to BHO

Bush tax cuts: Would a tax break by any other name be less contentious?

House Problem Solvers Caucus (a real group!) sets sights on passing tax reform

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christophergill8 · 7 years ago