#why cant i just let myself be loved. why cant i love him normally. why do i have to feel a little bit of fear with every muttered i love you
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hpdfag · 1 month ago
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feel like im getting stabbed in the chest every time i think about him. is this even what love is supposed to feel like
#... servant's song ♪#🍊 ☆ beloved .ᐟ#i love him i do. i grieve him the same way i grieve my father if not more so. but. i dont. thisbis fucking weird#i want my memories wiped. i want everything about kamukura gone because maybe then i could just let myself be happy#why cant i just let myself be loved. why cant i love him normally. why do i have to feel a little bit of fear with every muttered i love you#am i doomed? is there no way out of here? what do i even do with myself. i want out. i want to see him again but im scared of how i'll react#does he hate the person ive become‚ now that i've remembered it all? now that it's come into clarity?#if he saw me now would he even recognize me? im scared#i just want to be able to look him in the eye and say i love you without any fear. and for him to believe it.#im scared he wont be able to trust my love and my devotion because of what kamukura did to me#that itll be seen as coerced. or that i feel like i have to just to gain his sympathy. when thats not true#i love him. so much. i wish i could show that. i wish i could watch him sleep and feel at peace. i wish i could care for him while he's sick#i wish i could do so much for him without anything in return. i dont want it to be reciprocal#i want him to love me i want him to be near me but i also wouldnt want him to love me because he feels he has to#i just. i dont know what i want!#im scared im so scared i just want to go home. is anyone even still reading this? i hope not it's kinda embarassing#im not masking enough im not being fun. i hope i don't bore hinata when im not putting on a show#urhrvhrhvghhgh thats enough whining from me i should go to bed. maybe. i want to find my plushie of him but i dont know where it is
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cherrylight · 4 months ago
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dreamily sighs and screams
#getting emotional about ben because im never normal about ANYTHING in my life ......#just hdgjdfg UHFDGF WAH#hes so special to me....... probably why the colour green means so much to me... why its always been a fav colour of mine for who knows how#long#i like red too... obviously.#but like#he is so special to me. like i said. hes so special to me and i get ridiculously happy#i forgot how happy he makes me....#genuinely forgot how comforting this fandom is..... its so comforting#whys gushing on here so scary. i dont know. it makes no sense.#ughhhhhh#i mean ive been thinking about fanon a lot i love fanon so much it is so special to me#found family trope fr#but like sometimes i think how people treat fanon him and it makes me so sad :(#or maybe im remembering it incorrectly#but theyre always so mean to him .... or make him this comic relief character in fics#like yeah!!! he is REALLY SILLY!!!!!#but we forget hes a trickster!!!! he likes playing devious means to others!!!!!#hes so smart to me i dont know!!!!! he goes through your electronics!!!! he can mess with your files!!!!#honestly he can probably do more than that im just jittery with nerves lol#but oh ok guys. lets just make the coolest guy ever just be the comic relief gamer instead ok man. whatever.#i like the fact fanon depicts him as a gamer thats fun i love that so much :)#BUT STILL HDUGJFGFHFG#HES SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT IM GOING TO THROW MYSELF INTO ORBIT#hes so special to me. hes the worst guy ever when he wants to be. he probably has attachment issues. hes just a silly little guy.#hes everything to me#<- i wish i can remember more and more about him but i cant#all i know is i remembered cleverbot and how you could “interact” with him through it and it made me so ridiculously happy ;-;#of course i know now it was people just playing around and hoping to get something out of it BUT ITS NICE TO THINK ABOUT#sorry hes the most fascinating character to me in the entire world
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tinukis · 1 year ago
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what if i drew the vinsmoke siblings (including sanji) inspired by the song "afton family" what then?
an animatic could work too however i dont have the energy for that 😔
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chloelouygo · 1 year ago
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fun fact for yall About The Blogger, I dyed my hair a few months back to the same colour as angel devil lmao
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solar4seekstron · 3 months ago
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Megatrons Family: Sparkling
Tf1!D-16/Megatron x Cybertronian!Femme!Reader/Yandere!Sentinel x Cybertronian!Femme!Reader:
Part 2
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Content: 16+, D-16 and reader are expecting. Sentinel lies about D and Orion dying. Sentinel holds reader captive until D returns but by then he’s a different person by then.
Introduction Indie Series
TW/Tags: possessiveness, wholesome movements, death, pregnant!reader, cutest little sparkling I’ve ever wrote for oh my god I love this family, Megatron is a soft baby daddy, he loves reader and his sparkling, Sentinel really just held reader captive over night after Ds “death”. I think that’s all.
Note: I decided Conjunx isn’t a thing in this fic in order for a certain plot point in the story to work so sorry no Conjunx in this fic like in most of my others.
You and D-16 have been together for a long time. When he became your sparkmate. Things only got better when you have him the news you're with sparkling. You both talked about this day. It was common for miners to have little spankings running around and to eventually start helping with finding energon for the city.
Though you like a few others didn’t want this for your child. D is the same. Even contemplating about possibly giving you a sparkling.
So when you gave him the news. He soon returned it with joy. He already knew he’ll not regret raising a lil mini him with you. He chuckled at the thought once he told you that. You smiled at him. Happy to see him in thought of having a little mini him running around.
To play and playfully beat up his uncle Orion. You’d feel your sparkling grow in your stomach. And boy. Were they a big baby.
”Come on Megatronus is a great name if a boy. Oh! And Solus if a girl! And Prima if nutural!”
”D we are not naming our sparkling after a Prime. Why not after your best friend Orion-“
”NO-“
”Ok-“You chuckled. Gently holding his cervos as you both chuckled. Eventually you both agreed on a name that D called. Tough and strong. You didn’t mind it as much.
You already saw some of their head pushing some metal forward. Then the same thing happening from the top of your waist where their legs are located.
D was pretty proud of how big his little sparkling inside you was getting. “Haha! Big bot just like their sire!”
He did brag for a few days until you would drag him away. Giving the others a break. Even Orion was pretty excited to be an uncle and would ask to feel the dents from the baby at times when D wasn’t around. You’d of course let him..
But D hated it when you had to stay in the mining rooms for a few months as it got harder for you to even move. You still looked normal as you only had a few metal parts sticking out from your stomach
When the day came for the Iacon race. You told D you would stay with the other spiked femmes and GN bots. D understood and give you a loving kiss. “Man I cant wait to have you all to myself again.”
Causing Orion to groan as D chuckled. “Yes you will…after a couple months once my body heals.”
You responded to mess with him and avenge poor Orion. Causing D to now groan and chuckle after. And so later that day he and Orion made their way to the race. After what seemed like 30 minutes. You’d then feel a surge of pressure at your pelvis.
Uh oh. The other bot looked at you as you look down.
Your water broke.
You were in Pain. D was at the race with no way of anyone reaching him easily from within the crowed.
You were immediately brought to the cit hospital. Luckily you were a mining bot so carrying you into a room was easier.
Senitnel, who was there after the race to come “congratulate” the two miners from the race. After dealing with the two and having Airachnid send Darkwing to “deal” with them.
As you were brought in and sat in the room. Sentinel who just happened to be there. Was looking at you. Intrigued by a femme so well kept as you are. But when one of the nurses said you were here to give birth….he was upset. But he wasn’t too worried.
In this world where they can give berth to a transformer. He made sure the poeple in medican. Having the privilege to help people. Knows to remove the cogs of a child. If their parent happens to be a miner.
As you waited. The sparkling finally calming down for a bit. As you waited you then heard a knock at your door. Walking in was Sentinel himself. He had his usual smile as he does when he speaks to the city through the hologram. You were surprised. And you couldn’t really sit up as he then spoke.
From there he stayed with you for some time until it came time for you to give birth.
”Ah always nice to see another bot coming in to give another life. How are we feeling today my dear?” He sat in one of the chairs. “And who is this….Lucky bot?”
”He’s one of our strongest miners sir. I’m lucky enough to have him as a Conjunx. His name is D-16.”…..Sentinel gulped. But chuckled to not raise suspicion. Ah yes we love it when our worker make time to create families just like the rest of us!”
You’d not as looked out the window. “Hopefully the others find him at the race and and tells him the wonderful news.”
You didn’t notice the cringe look on his face.
When he was about to speak suddenly you groaned. “Th- the baby! It’s coming!!!” You screamed as the doctors and nurses ran in. Sentinel was asked to leave as you were about to give birth. He walked out and saw Darkwing. Speaking low to him as the two looked at the door. Hearing you moan and groan.
”Are they dealt with?”
”Yes sir.” Sentinel smiled.
———————————————————————————
During this D and Orion were sneaking on the train with B. D was of course against it. Not knowing still of your situation. He tells Orion how you must have at least a few days before birth but he should still be there with you. That’s until Orion finally convinces him to go. He already knows he’ll get an earful from you.
After you gave birth to your sparkling. The nurses took your sparkling to watch them up.
They were able to fix you up removing those visible outer dents from under your chest to down above your pelvis.
As you laid there the doctors made sure you were covered up . You were exhausted. Sentinel then gave a nurse an order to turn on the tv in order for you to hear the news by him.
After some time you were more awake. You looked at the TV and saw Sentinel speak.
As you listened, you are hit with the worst news as you saw clips of D-16 and Orion in the race…..D was dead..
You were crying as the nurses came in with your sparkling. Pretending to be unaware of the tv.
As you were able to sit up, you gently held you sparkling. She looked so much like her Sire….Having Ds color scheme. Most of his armor. Her chest and legs looking like yours.
Her helmet a mix of both of yours and Ds. She has your purple optics. And……she’s cogless…of course. But non the less….she’s beautuiful….perfect.
She looked up at you and opened her mouth, like she wanted to speak as she smiles at you…She has her Sires smile, little grin…You felt both pain but joy at the same time in your spark.
After some time as you gently rested your cervo on your sparklings chest.
Her gently grabbing your digit with her little cervos as she tried to bite at the tip of your digit. Her big purple optics staring up at you as a smile still formed at the corner of her dermas.
Tears slowly going down you optics as you stared down at her. Sentinel then walked in. Taking his seat once more and looked at you and your sparkling. You believe this is a high honor.
“So how’s the lil sparkling doin?”
He said in a cheery voice trying to seem like he cares as he looks at you instead of your sparkling. You spoke as your voice was dry and rough. But still almost the same.
”She’s wonderful. Strong and healthy…Just like her Sire.” She giggled as she keeps trying to eat at your digit.
“The nurses are coming with energon….I just. Don’t know what to do when I return to the mining quarters….Raising her without her Sire…”
You’d then feel Sentinel place a cervo on your shoulder as ou both can hear your sparkling babble.
“You know…giving your ���sparkmate’ has proven miners can show that they can do more. Even without a cog! Why don’t you come to the tower. Live up the life you would’ve had with him. A better life for you and your sparkling. Of course you can visit your mining friends so you sparkling can be with other little miners as well.”
You looked at him. “Do you truly mean this Sentinel?”
”Of course my dear.” He cringed a bit and tried to think of what to do next to keep your guard down. “Uhh What’s her name.”
You’d gently smile at him as you tell him.
”Spiker”
———————————————————————————
After some time you were living at the tower for the time being. Sentinel told you you two will go over how to help the miners.
After sometime you stared to wonder. Everytime he was with you, he’d just complement you and even flirt with you at times as you tried to spend your first day with your sparkling as much as you can.
At times you’d notice at the corner of your optics. At the door Sentinel was watching you…What is he up to?
A few hours before D would return unknown to you. You’re still grieving. Setting you sparkling in her crib to sleep as her little cervos held onto your digit until you pulled away.
As you walked to the door, Sentinel was there in the living room with his cervos behind his back. He’d then notice you walk out and he takes steps towards you with his usual smile. “Sentinel are we ready to finally speak about helping the miners.”
He chuckled. His cervo gently grabbing yours once he kneeled down as his brings it to his dermas and kissed the back of it.
“I’ve seen your track record. I must say I’m impressed.” He keeps your cervo close to his helm as he stares down at you. “Thank you Sentinel. So are we to speak here? Or in a meeting rooom with other surpior?”
He scoffed but then soon chuckles. “Yes we’ll get to that. But I also have..another position for you my dear.”
His helm leaning down closer to you.
”Seeing that your sparkmate is…deceased. You should give your sweet sparkling a new sire. No sparkling should grow with just one parent.”
You just stared up at him as you grow more confused. What is he saying?” Before you knew it you were pinned against the wall. His frame against yours.
”Sentinel what are you-“
”Shh shh. Don’t wish to wake up our sparkling now don’t you?” He grinned as his cervos set on your hips. You’d press your cervos against his chest as you spoke in a whisper.
”Sentinel I cant just..date a prime!” You were basically covered by him as his optics narrowed.
”Oh I wasn’t asking sweetspark…Don’t worry I’m sure we’ll get a cog from a bot that no one will remember. And for your sparkling as well….sadly the only down side will be you and your sparkling…will be completely……different.”
You only stared at him with wide optics. He’s then grin.
”Now be a good partner and spend some time with your Prime. Hm?”
He chuckled. His dermas on your neck cable as he places soft kisses as you turned your helm towards the door. The room your sparkling is at.
Primus. What have you done?
———————————————————————————
You would stay in the large apartment in a tower belonging to Sentine and his closest guards. You’ve been there for almost an hour until you see Sentinels guards bring in unconscious bots. It seems they went into the meeting room of the tower. It was already morning.
Your sparkling was in your arms as she ate some energon. She would’ve started crying if you left her and is already wide awake. You made your way to the door and peaked through the door.
Your sparkling calm. She defiently takes it from you.
You’d see a bunch of bots on their knees as Sentinel spoke to a larger bot. And it seemed that their cervos were tied behind their back. You didn’t notice a now cogged D-16. You came from the door behind the many bots.
You thought maybe these bots could help you if you can help release them. Or maybe distract Sentinel and the guards enough for one of them to escape?
And so with your sparkling gently grabbing at your chest as she looks up at you. You walked out once he punches a grayish bot and kneeled before the bot. He seemed to have taken a sticker off the bot. Almost sounding familiar. The bot then yelled.
”He’s a greater then you’ll ever be!”
Sentinel puts the sticker back and starts engraving something on the bots chest. Causing you to run closer. The other bots there looking at you.
”Sentinel!” He stoppped once he heard you. “Y/N! Return to your room! Guards! Take her and the sparkling back.”
Your sparkling started crying as the guards got closer. She was reaching for te grey bot. When the bot seemed to slowly get up. He was almost on his side as he looked up and saw you.
“Y/N!”
His optics wide as he saw you and….His Sparkling!!! Spiker still crying as she reached out to him. Knowing her Sire.
You kept her close as the guards grabbed your arms. And one of them tries to take her in order to not hurt her when dragging you back. D then starts getting up.
Only for a guard to punch him forward as he only stared at you and Spiker.
“Protect Y/N and get them out of here!”
Out of now where a train came and hit Sentinel. The guards soon take you out of the tower. Taking you down the halls as one of them held your sparkling who didn’t stop crying.
You could not hear distruction and your sparklings cry’s. But out of nowhere a punch of seekers came and took care of the guards.
They told you they work for D-16 and as one of the femmes pick you up. Another bot was able to get your sparkling. He gently held the chikd and flew you two out fo the tower. Bringing you to a safe distance and join alongside a crowd.
Your sparkling reaching to you the while time in the bots arms. You and your sparkling in your arms stand for a good time as you watched D fight and kill Megatron.
You covered your sparkling optics after he dropped Optimus down into the planet.
After Optimus Primes and Megatrons battle. One of the seekers looked at you and picks you up. Taking with him as you all flew to the surface.
During your flying time two cogs appeared. Megatron below seeing this. The cogs go into your and your sparklings chest. Causing you two to change your alt mode in the seekers arms.
Once you all made your way to a safe spot of the surface at a mountain. The seeker let you down and leaves.
As everyone else stayed at one part of the mountain.
You and Spiker were a bit further away. As Megatron requested. Soon Megatron made his way to you. You calmed your sparkling who was trying to stop crying.
Megatron looked down at you and your sparkling. His now red optics almost soft and his face a mix of anger, sadness, worry, and almost uncertain. You looked at him as your sparkling reached up to him.
”You…were at his tower..”
”Megatron he kept me there against my will! He told me you died! He wouldn’t let me leave after going there. I believed he wanted me to help make the city better! I-I-I”
As you spoke he looked at his sparkling. She looked so much like him with small traits of you. She continued to stare at him with wide optics as she reached up at him with a smile and giggling.
”D- Megatron I didn’t know I thought you were dead. I thought you-“
He set his cervo on your waist as he leaned down. Now only being a few feet shorter then him. Being a few inches taller then Starscream.
”I..Undertsand. He lied to me too. He lied to all of us.”
His other cervo gently holding Spikers back as she stared up at him.
”But we know the truth now. And I will lead us to the future. A better on. For You. Our sparkling. Us. Everyone here for us to have a better home.”
His forhelm presses against yours as Spiker continues to reach up at him. Megatron then presses his dermas against yours. You both holding a passionate and soft kiss with each other as you both close your optics. When you both pulled apart Spiker let out a baby shout and moving her little arms.
Megatron chuckled and gently held her. taking her from your arms.
”And you my little sparkling shall be my heir. My when I saw those pushed dents on your carrier I didn’t expect you to be this much bigger. You gave her that name we agreed to?”
”Yes…her name is Spiker. She has a Strong personality.”
You joked as you watched him hold Spiker up. Her little cervos reaching for his face as he smiled up at her. He’d then bring her closer to his helm.
Letting her cervos gently grab at his chin and nose.
He kept a smile on his dermas as he notices she has his smile. Even having his laugh as she only looked at him with joy.
You with a smile on your face as well. He’d hold her with one arm as his other sets on your waist pulling you closer as he smiles down at you. You setting a cervo on Spikers lap and the other on Megatrons chest. Even Spiker had one of her little cervos on top of yours and her other reacher for Megatrons chin. You three really do look like a happy family.
From then on you and your sparkling stay by Megatrons side. A family to rule together. Even as things…slowly change.
I WISH i was reader right now like my god- I love this man so much and obviously for a big and strong dude of course he’d make big sparklings (Idea: Terry from Brooklyn nine-nine).
Reader just lucky her baby didn’t kill her lmao.
As always I hope you guys enjoy this and if you guys want me to post cute little Megatron family moments together. Like Megatron being a dad….and cockblocked occasionally. Please leave a comment of any ideas. I know y’all are thirsty for sparkling content and…other thing lol.
As always re post is appreciated and cant wait to see what requests you simps come up with next.
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456-is-the-way · 1 month ago
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Hi! I was wondering if you if you could do a smutty In-ho x fem! Reader x Gi-Hun. Something along the line of they are both pining and see each other go to talk to reader alone and decide to wait. In-ho talks to her during lights out and Gi-hun talks to her doing mingle. In the final fight, she goes with either in-ho or Gi-hun and the stand of at the end, ends with them deciding to truce for a moment and share reader.
A/n: OMG A smutty story with both the hottest daddies!? Yet people keep the requests coming because I have many more to write! I hope to post at least 3 stories a week only because I am returning to my job after my holiday vacation! ALSO regarding the TAGLIST IDK why it won't let me add people like some it won't bring their name up SO I am not sure how to fix that RIP Im sorry y'all!!! ALSO, late tonight or tomorrow my part 1 of my 4-part Gi-Hun story is coming out!! (Hints of In-ho x reader) will also be in the story! Next week I'll have 3 more requests stories done!
Trigger warning: SMUT
Squid Game Masterlist
In-ho x Reader x Gi-hun
Love and War
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Being in the games was the last thing (Y/n) was expecting, or at least in a life-or-death situation. She took a breath, looking over the group she was lucky enough to be in. Gi-hun did not hide the looks in her direction. Her (e/c) orbs meet his. (Y/n) could feel her cheeks warm up as Gi-hun winked. She turned away, looking at the ground quickly. How could two people be so obvious in their lustful looks? Their group quickly picked up on their subtle hints, flirtatious works, mindful touches, and lustful gazes. However, it sparked a rivalry between Gi-hun and his newfound friendship with Young-Il. The other gentleman also expressed his feelings towards (Y/n), which did not go unnoticed. (Y/n) happily reciprocated the attention she received from both of these handsome bachelors. It was lights out, and as normal, their group gathered in one spot, taking turns on night shift duty. Many thought of them as one of the strongest teams for now. In-ho sighed deeply as he was woken by Jung-bae. “Your turn.” He whispered. In-ho only responded with a grunt getting up to take his place by (Y/n). In-ho looked over her figure. It honestly pained him to lie to (Y/n) of all people. While scouting for participants, he would collect all their data and reasoning for poor financial situations. He never showed favor or pity towards anyone until now. Why did it have to be her of all people?
“I can take watch by myself if you need me to. I want you to have all the rest. Especially for the next challenge… I am nervous to find out what it may be.” In-ho whispered. She gave him such a warm and loving smile. In-ho had not felt butterflies like this in his stomach in so long the feeling was almost foreign. The way her eyes would almost sparkle while gazing into his. In-ho felt his breath be taken away every time.
“No, I won't allow you to not have a partner. We agreed on pairs of two. I am going to be fine. I could say the same for you, Young-Il.” She gazed into his eyes and before anything else could be said In-ho leaned in kissing her deeply. (Y/n) gasped but did not pull back once his warm lips dominated hers. In-ho cupped her cheek before letting his hand trail down squeezing her beast. “W-Wait.” Her voice seemed weak from the desire but quickly In-ho stopped all his advances.
“Fuck (Y/n) I am so sorry if I hurt you.” His eyes showed nothing but absolute worry.
“Young-Il, you didn’t hurt me. I just. We cant I-”
“You love Gi-hun. Don’t you?” He asked.
She looked away rubbing her temples. “I am unsure who I like. I have feelings for you both but if we act out on them… If you or him dies I would never be able to get over your death, or is..” She leans against In-ho resting on his shoulder.
“I understand…I love you.”
“I… I love you as well.” (Y/n) whispered cuddling into him.
….
After the night the next game had started early that morning, and (Y/n) had not been expecting what was to come. As the game commenced it felt very intense making sure the groups had the correct amount of people in each room. They even teamed up with new players they clicked with instantly. As it began getting lower in numbers for each door (Y/n) became nervous. She felt Gi-hun grab her hand gently. “I got you.” He whispered. Once the merry-go-round stopped and the number was ‘2’ he instantly took off with her ultimately forgetting about any of the others. Even shamelessly (Y/n) did not even look back for In-ho. Once in the room the door instantly shut. The female leaned against the wall as Gi-hun was breathing heavily on the other side of the room, “Gi-hun, are you okay?”
Gi-hun did not bother to answer before walking over to (Y/n) and kissing her deeply. The female lets a shaken moan out as their bodies are pressed against each other. His hands hold her waist before lowering down her backside and cupping her ass. “G…Gi-hun, babe, we cant.” Her body was on fire for this handsome older man.
“You love me… I know you do.” He let you go resting his forehead against yours.
“I…I do love you. I have since the moment I laid eyes on you. I can’t be with you Gi-hun. I wont risk getting attached-”
“Is it because of Young-Il? Is that the true reason? I heard you both talking last night. I know you have feelings for him of some kind… I want to know if he-”
“No, my love it's not because of Young-Il… I care for you both but if I got too attached and lost either of you I… I wouldn't be able to ever move on.” When the doors unlocked she took his hand, “Talk later okay?”
Gi-hun nods walking out as their hand in hand. In-ho instantly noticed and sent a glare at Gi-hun who met his gaze with a stronger one.
(Y/n) was soaked in her friend's blood as she was on her knees. Gi-hun and Jung-Bae beside her on their knees. In front of them stood a man who organized the games. With a quick hand motion from the man in the black mask, Jung-Bae was pulled away. Gi-hun went to help but a gun was quickly pulled out.
“Don’t” (Y/n) begged, tearing up. Her eyes widen as the gun slowly is lowered.
“I love you (Y/n).” The Front Man whispered she glared into his eyes.
“I hate you.” She glared. In-ho took a moment before removing his mask. Both (Y/n) and Gi-hun gave his a look showing all their bundled up emotions. “You… are the Frontman. HOW COULD YOU!” (Y/n) cried loudly .
In-ho leans down, “My real name is In-ho, I joined yes, but I never expected to fall in love with you! Please… Let me have you before anything else happens… Gi-hun.” He turned to his friend who reluctantly nodded they both desired you and that over powered all current feeling. The triangle guard let Gi-hun free before leaving.
“Please lets forget about all of this. For a few moments.” Gi-hun adds agreeing with In-ho. What felt like eternity she agrees.
Gi-hun instantly pulled her against his frame smashing their lips together. In-ho kneels down pressing against her back side kissing up (Y/n)’s neck. The female moaned loudly into the kiss as her body is sandwiched between theirs. “Fuck.” She gasped as Gi-hun trailed down to the other side of her neck. In-ho proceeded to slides his large hands under her shirt cupping her bare breasts. Her nipples already were hard. “Ngh! (Y/n) whined as he pinch them roughly pulling her buds harshly.
“Take her shirt off.” In-ho growled.
“Slide her pants down.” Gi-hun adds. (Y/n) had no time to react before her shirt was being lifted and sweatpants pulled down swiftly. Once practically naked she puts a hand on their bulges rubbing both men. They let out a shaken groan each, Gi-hun’s voice held a submissive tone while In-ho growled dominantly. Their already hardening cocks were at full attention. Gi-hun’s leaking precum at the tip. In-ho leans his forhead against (Y/n)’s shoulder cock twitching as she worked both touch starved men.
“F-Fuck I’m close.” Gi-hun whined.
In-ho chuckled,” Baby slow down before he blows a load in your hands. Let us inside of you.”
“MMmm… But will b-both fit?” She asked inhaling as Gi-hun reached down feeling her soaking wet panties.
“Fuck you are soaked honey. Did jerking us off turn you on that much?.. Yes dear we will both fit.”
(Y/n) nods and spreads her legs, In-ho nods to Gi-hun, She arches, feeling both their cocks brushing her entrance. “AHH FUCK Gi-hun. In-ho!~” (Y/n) was held up by the men who began roughly thrusting into her tight and warm pussy.
“Fuck baby you are tight.” “Your pussy was made for your us.” “Going to fill you up.”
Both of their praises made the knot tighten inside of her. “FUCK!” She cried out as their cock meet the perfect rythem until she felt the euphoria hit all at once. Her pussy clams down making both men cum deep inside. The three now lay there panting in pleasure. (Y/n) closed her eyes.
“I love you both.” Her voice is strained. Gi-hun instantly responsed with a quick ‘I love you back’ .
In-ho sighed deeply kissing her cheek knowing nothing would be the same after this. He loved her too much.
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orcelito · 2 years ago
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ok, i cant resist the urge to make a post about it after all, especially since it's related to a post i made prior
one of my favorite moments in trimax is By Far this part in chapter 35
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[ID: Two pages from Trigun. The first starts with Wolfwood thinking, "Now that I think 'bout it, it may be one of the major differences between our species." That deep rooted dear I felt on the ship…" He thinks of Vash crying blood and, swearing, wonders, "Is he the one who can save humankind? That monster?" Wolfwood is briefly shown in resolution before someone calls, "Hey, Wolfwood!" and he looks up with surprise.
Vash sits with a smile at the edge of a rooftop, backed by the Fifth Moon and its prominent crater. Vash asks with a smile, "Just coming back now? You're a bit of a night owl, huh?" Wolfwood looks taken aback and wary. End ID]
Right Here. Vash is just sitting there, smiling like normal, but he's got the backdrop of the damage he caused on the moon set Perfectly behind him. it's a glaring reminder to Wolfwood of who exactly he's dealing with here, and that TERRIFIES him.
& the fact that Wolfwood still remembers that moment of crying blood as a moment of true fear. because for all the cheer Vash shows in the average moment, Wolfwood just recently saw him nearly lose control Again (at the Dragon's Nest). the second time he witnessed it, & the third time he would know about.
Vash is a walking atomic bomb with multiple charges. even with how cheerful & kind he is, he's shown Multiple Times that he does not have full control. he is decidedly something different, something Hazardous to humans, and Wolfwood knows this very very painfully.
for all that Wolfwood loves Vash, he is also terrified of him. and at this point in the story, that terror is potent enough to nearly eclipse his affection for Vash.
leading to some of the next most iconic pages:
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[ID: The next page starts with Wolfwood standing behind the sitting Vash, his expression hard and the moon bright behind him. Vash seems sad and has one eye open. A close-up focuses on Wolfwood looking down.
Wolfwood thinks, "So easy to pull the trigger. So easy to remove half the problem." Another close-up with bright lighting obscures his face but for one eye. Then Vash turns around curiously and asks, "What's up?" Wolfwood sits behind him and says "Nothin'. Come on. Let's go." Vash seems surprised as Wolfwood scolds, "Don't get yerself tangled up in every little skirmish ya see. It'll be pointless if ya get yerself killed before ya meet him." End ID]
the manga frames it like Vash doesn't know Wolfwood was pointing the gun at him, but I think he did know. he's freakishly perceptive over and over again throughout the story. he HAS to be in order to survive like he has. he'd hear the movement of the gun & sense Wolfwood behind him...
he'd know. i really think he knew.
but he doesn't do anything about it. there is zero fear in his face. he turns to look at Wolfwood curiously, a bit confused, but not afraid. he never once thought that Wolfwood would shoot him. there's full faith and trust there in that moment.
Wolfwood pretends that nothing happened, & Vash lets him. they both move on, not talking about it, because they never talk about Anything of substance like this (not until much, Much later).
overall, it's just such a great example of their relationship's development. Wolfwood's fear & Vash's trust that he won't act on it... it's just. Man.
(EDIT: people have made some good points about how Vash's expression when Wolfwood points the gun at him shows that he probably did know and YEAH that's a good point! & probably why I was so certain he knew lol, I just hadn't realized it myself)
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azen13 · 1 month ago
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Hii I hope I’m not being annoying with my asks (same person who asked you about your favourite yanderes) but I cant help myself— I really like your perspective on them! I specially love reading your Wriothesley ones (as a big fan of Wriothesley myself, in fact I got to know of your blog through the things you wrote about him). Reading your reply to my ask, I had a few questions:
- Why do you think Zhongli and Neuvillette would become so helplessly infatuated? And another question for them, what do you think they’d do with a human lover? Specially Zhongli. I personally feel like he’d become a yandere because of how long he’s lived. He’s lost all his friends and is extremely reminiscent about the past and all that he’s lost due to the archon war and whatnot. He never felt as if his friends were truly his, as in, they’d all slipped from his fingers, and he couldn’t save them. So, if he were to have a human/mortal reader who was bound to die one day, what would he do? Same for Neuvillete, although I feel as if he doesn’t truly understand the pain of being the sole survivor of age as much as Zhongli does.
- Do you think Zhongli would ever harm/kill his lover? I mean, it is very likely that he is the one who killed Guizhong based off the various evidences we find hidden in textbooks (for context, I am not implying they were lovers, but merely stating this because they truly were inseparable even as friends) and I can’t help but wonder— would he do the same to his lover? He didn’t hesitate to kill her, his closest friend, so what if a situation were to arise where he would have to harm them? What if they go mad from abyssal corruption? Or what if they’re on the brink of death? would he want none to claim their life except him?
- Of course I have to include Wriothesley. I have many questions about him. He is such a mystery after all. But I want to start by saying how I agree on the reasoning behind his infatuation. He has been isolated from love all his life. His heart has never felt it, until now. So why would he let us go? But I do wonder.. what type of lover would he be? I know you’ve written before on what type of yandere he would be, but— well, a personal HC of mine is that he absoluely hates having to resort to such methods and would not have done so if not forced to. (For example, I believe he would’ve tried to court us in a normal way rather than using extreme measures FIRST unless something happens that makes him feel as if we are slipping away from him, like us moving to another nation or rejecting him) and based on that I’d like to believe that he would try to swallow his guilt and ‘make things right’. He’d try to be the best partner for us, I’m sure of that. So when he’s trying to be a partner instead of a captor, what kind of person do you think he’d be?
Ohh I had many questions but I’m short on time and can’t really type out the rest so I’ll stick to these for now. Again, if they are too much, you can just ignore them. Thank you!
CW: Yandere Themes
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Hello again! Thank you so much for all these wonderful questions, I apologize that I haven't answered them in a very timely manner haha. I'm just going to go over them all one by one, so let me know if I missed any or if there's anything else you'd like me to talk about!
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Why do you think Zhongli and Neuvillette would become so helplessly infatuated?
I've sort of envisioned Zhongli and Neuvillette as two sides to the same coin as yanderes: they're both dragons, they're both god-like beings, they're both wise, and they're both well-respected. I think something that acts as a catalyst to their love is their draconic instincts and the desire to hoard treasures. I also can see there being a protective side to their feelings. I definitely agree with your point that Zhongli would develop yandere tendencies because he lived through the Archon War and likely saw death on a near-daily basis, and Neuvillette works as a judge and sees the worst of humanity. I will say I think Zhongli would be more inclined to act on his desires compared to Neuvillette because Neuvillette has a very strong moral compass due to his position as the Iudex of Fontaine, and I think he really struggles compared to Zhongli to act on his urges. With a human reader, I think because both of them understand how ephemeral your life is, they're very cautious. I do think that Zhongli acts with much more urgency compared to Neuvillette, be it by isolating his beloved, or even taking them away from Teyvat entirely and keeping them in an adeptal domain. Comparatively, Neuvillette I feel would be more likely to give you more leeway and allow you to go out in public, with supervision, of course. I would say they also use their powers to extend your lifespan, but I'm not very familiar with Genshin lore so I don't know exactly how that would work.
Do you think Zhongli would ever harm/kill his lover?
This is a challenging question for me to answer in multiple ways, primarily because I don't particularly enjoy writing yanderes that hurt their lovers. I think that present-day Zhongli wouldn't hurt his lover unless, like you stated in your ask, it would be out of mercy. I find this question to be really fascinating when looking at Zhongli in the past, when he took the name of Morax or Rex Lapis. A personal interpretation of mine is that Morax as a yandere would be incredibly aggressive in how he would act on his feelings. With present-day Zhongli, I would imagine he would attempt to convince his lover to submit to his control; with Morax, I think he would simply rely on using his power to bend his lover to his will. Should they break, he'd simply mold the fragments of his lover's soul to fit the form he desired. Rex Lapis would fit somewhere between these two, not as forceful as Morax but not as refined as Zhongli.
What type of lover would Wriothesley be?
I think he'd be incredibly doting, regardless of if we're looking at him in a yandere AU or canonically. If you're staying in Meropide to be with him, I think he recognizes how much you're sacrificing to be with him, and he does his best to return the favor by doing whatever you ask, within reason, of course. You want tea imported from Inazuma? He'll get shipments of seven different varieties. You want traditional folk songs from Mondstadt on vinyl? He'll hire somebody to record a bard singing. You play piano and need somewhere to practice? He'll put in an order for the finest grand piano in all of Teyvat, and have movers put it in his office. When he's working, he likes it when you come and sit on his lap and just talk to him, as it provides a respite from the bureaucratic drudgery he deals with on the daily. If he has to handle a situation between inmates, best believe he comes home ready to hold you tight against his chest for at least an hour. Even canonically, I think he'd prefer you don't wander around the prison alone and would instead ask you to stay in his personal quarters or his office. Beyond just seeing him as being a little clingy outside of a yandere AU, I think he'd worry that, as the lover of the Duke of Meropide, the inmates might try to use you as a bargaining chip to barter for their freedom. Because of this, he tries to make staying in as enticing as possible by spoiling you with whatever you wish for.
As a yandere, I think this protective instinct wins out against any argument you might try to pose to gain your freedom. Even if you aren't his lover yet, rumors spread dangerously quick in Meropide, and he can't hide how he watches over you as you go about your day. I also definitely believe if he has to, he's willing to do more...unsavory things to ensure your safety, so long as you don't learn about them. Meropide is outside of Fontaine's jurisdiction, after all. With you safe and sound, it's not like you'll be hearing about anyone going missing anyways.
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corviiids · 29 days ago
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If i ask nicely, would you consider writing the core of Light and L character like you did for Shuake? (IT'S BRILLIANT BTW!! You're so galazy brain. I love reading any meta or just silly posts you posted here <3) because you mention Light a couple time in Akechi's part and now i need to know your thought on him and L.
(Also, about the death note wip you're cooking right now, is it a oneshot or multiple chapters fic? Im super excited for it!)
i ABSOLUTELY would thank you so much for asking and for your lovely kind words. and im sorry this took me seven years to get to i just kept psyching myself out.
here's the ren & goro post this ask refers to for anyone wondering. the 'core' refers to my answer to a writing meme:
26. What would you describe as OOC? [...] it's the same approach i take to language tbh particularly in pronunciation. once you understand how a language forms its sounds at a base level, you dont struggle with the accent on particular words, and you can encounter words you've never seen before and understand how they're likely to be said/spelled/etc. so once i learn to 'speak' a character they come more naturally. idk if that comparison makes sense to anyone else but it does to meeeee all this to say i think a character is ooc if they do or say something i cant reconcile with that core!
the death note wip is a multichap!! thank you for your interest!!! ill talk about it more once i've stopped tying myself in knots plotting it!! broadly it's a what-if type au which has led me to replot an entire series from scratch dont look at me
anyway lawlight below. i will say ive been really desperately wanting to do like a video essay or something about death note which would be a lot about L and light specifically and how i interpret their characters so ill try and not go toooooo insane in this post but maybe ill go more insane later. in a video. with my human voice.
(edit: i failed i went insane)
light - one-way road to the sky
ok let's talk about one of my favourite scenes of the entire series, which i think is widely not super well understood but honestly to me holds the key to light's entire character. it's right there in volume 1
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sorry, the only digital copy ive got on hand is the scanlation. for comparison the official print copy reads:
bubble 1: hey, maki, wanna party tomorrow with some guys from s. college? ten o'clock. bubble 2: yeah, totally! bubble 3: hey, can i go too? bubble 4: my mom isn't here yet? what's that nag doing, geez! light (thinking): damn... light (thinking): start looking around you... light (thinking): and all you see are people the world would be better off without.
this happens within the first 40 pages of the first volume. and it's like. haha hey light what the fuck? this is a totally normal scene in everyday life. people are talking about living their lives. nobody's done anything remotely reprehensible in this scene. and light's just walking through the streets experiencing apparently unprompted and quite extreme misanthropy. what's wrong with him
ok let's have a quick look at the first time we meet light in the anime.
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cool cool cool im gonna pivot again let's look at the first song (besides the overture) in the musical.
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ok rook! we get it! light yagami is out here like damn we live in a society time to kill people about it. this is news to nobody! we all know this!! that's what the series is about! why are we rehashing all of this
great. cool. awesome. let's look at all those scenes one more time. but this time don't look at light. instead let's look at the people around him
in the opening shots of the anime (after the shinigami world, which actually is much the same theme): news of brutal murder is narrated over establishing shots of tokyo. light is shown dead-eyed, going about his ordinary life, surrounded by random other civilians doing the same thing.
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in the musical, light isn't angry that murders happen. he's angry about the inaction and complicity of the ordinary people around him.
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these scenes aren't highlighting that light thinks crime is bad. we all know crime is bad. the point of these scenes is to contrast light's frustration and fury against the reactions of the people around him. here's what light yagami is seeing: we're surrounded with rot. but nobody's reacting. and then life just goes on. so suddenly all those completely normal scenes of people being concerned with the superficial details of their life aren't just normality, they're complicity. day in, day out. so the world is rotting, and to light, it seems that everyone is completely ok with that. that's just the way things are. and that disgusts and depresses him. on top of than that, it isolates him: he feels like he's the only one who sees or cares about this, that everyone dismisses him as naive, that no one else can be trusted, that everyone else is able to ignore something he sees as inexcusable. this is a sentiment he repeats again and again. it reads as arrogance, and it is, but it's also isolation - after all it's lonely at the top and just as lonely to feel like you're at the top even if you arent
can i talk about the iliad again? is that ok with everyone. im gonna talk about the iliad again
in book 1 of the iliad, the commander of the greek army insults achilles by publicly and unlawfully taking a prize (the girl briseis) who rightfully belonged to achilles. achilles reacts by withdrawing his troops from the army, dooming the greeks' campaign. achilles had a lot of friends in the army, so why would he essentially sentence them all to death for something that only agamemnon did? well, (because agamemnon did something publicly that everyone knew was wrong, and yet nobody was willing (or at least able) to stand up for achilles and stop it from happening. achilles, disgusted by the inaction of the bystanders, turned his back on all of them. fun fact i nearly wrote a mini thesis (an academic one not just a long post on tumblr) about the intersection btwn this book of the iliad and legal theory but law+classics is such a niche interdisciplinary field my professor couldnt find anyone who could supervise me so i couldnt do it. anyway that's not the point
is this right or fair? who cares, not the point. what im interested in is what that kind of behaviour says about the individual. light, like achilles, is a highly idealistic person. we all know that in the abstract, but take a second to really really dig into it, because it's actually quite an interesting fact about a character who is popularly understood as being cold and unfeeling or flatly psychotic and on a power trip. idealism isn't naivety, it's not optimism, it's not even really a happy thing. idealism is simply a firm belief in the way things should be at the cost of refusing or being unable to accept what is.
this is the core of light yagami to me. light doesn't become kira because he's cold or destructive or crazy. he doesn't actually even do it because he's spiteful or misanthropic. it's very much the opposite. he's misanthropic because he believes in the world so much. isn't that a great contradiction! ok here i'll show you some proof.
in an early scene (also in volume 1), light describes himself as an optimist and ryuk finds that interesting.
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so light is an optimist. he believes in a bright future for humanity. he wants to protect humanity. he likes humanity. no, he doesn't believe that people are inherently good, but he does believe in some goodness as a part of humanity and wants to protect the best of people, in an egotistical way:
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how do we reconcile that with a young man who walks through the streets listening to completely ordinary conversations by ordinary people and reacts by wishing death on everyone talking?
let's split out what's going on here. remember what's happening in light's head. light yagami is 17 years old. he grew up with a police chief for a father (in a fictional world where the police are the literary stand-in for law as justice so just pretend for a second that police are good im sorry), watching his father work tirelessly to fight crime - but crime continues, making this an endless, thankless task. and while crime continues, so does the world around him. every day light sees atrocities on the news, and he sees atrocities brought home, and then he lives his ordinary life and watches the people around him apparently not give a shit, only concerned with the petty details of their own little lives. bystanders watching wrong happen, selfishly unaffected. day in, day out. that idealism is getting colder the longer this unendurable injustice goes on. so achilles condemns his friends to death.
what human trait is being exhibited? realistically it's helplessness. would being miserable about crime help to end crime? of course not. people have to go on with their lives, that's a fact, it's even a strength. even light begins the series completely unable to do a thing about the rot he sees around him, which is part of why he's so depressed. but that's not what light is seeing. light is seeing ordinary people appear to choose not to give a fuck about injustice. the thing that's sparking his disgust is apathy, real or apparent. light yagami is an idealist. he wants a better future - a utopia that only he can imagine - something that can only happen if either everyone becomes as good as he is, or he takes control.
if you leave an idealist in an unwinnable situation for too long, their pure belief will start to curdle. it will not turn to realism. they will not accept what is. they will only become more and more bitter that what should be, isn't. they will become a cynicist. this is really the heart of my argument and ive made it a million times and ill make it again. idealism and cynicism are not opposites, they're not even two sides of a coin. they are two points on the same line which moves very quickly in only one direction. this is where i start when im writing him: how do i make someone who believes so hard that it's killing him? someone who believes so hard it makes him believe in nothing?
then we find the third point on that line, which someone can reach by gaining sudden power - for example, a magic notebook that kills people: radicalisation.
how do we reconcile his desire to protect humanity with the fact that what he's trying to protect against is also humanity? how can i say light loves humanity when he has such disdain for them? easy peasy: light sees himself as the messiah. my bumper sticker that says ask me about light's martyr complex PLEASE ask me about light's martyr complex i wrote a song about it ask me about light seeing himself as the sacrificial lamb on the (and then the bumper sticker cuts off)
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light loves humanity the way a twisted shepherd might love his sheep. something to be protected, but something beneath you that can't be trusted to know what's best for them. humanity is something he loves because it's endearingly pathetic, something to pity and save. repeatedly he refers to becoming kira as a personal sacrifice, something that costs him his soul but that he has to do. it's a delusion of grandeur driven by dual purposes of ego and some desperate wish to change a status quo he's been despairing about for years.
tl;dr: light believes with all his soul in something he thinks is impossible, and it's killing him slowly, and then a chance to change the world just falls out of the sky
L - isolate yourself until you can make believe it's just a game
steeples fingers. i have Things to Say about L Lawliet.
ok listen. listen. Listen. listen. are you listening? listen. in general i think people kind of misunderstand characters who are hyper-intellectual and/or behave unconventionally in social settings. you're all going to fucking kill me for this but i think there's a tendency to like... accidentally turn any character who falls vaguely in this broad category into sheldon cooper. god im sorry i feel like i just shot everyone's collective dog
specifically what i mean by that is that 'awkward' gets flanderised in a way that eventually becomes a caricature of itself, because there is so much nuance to actual social awkwardness that it's very easy to kind of pick a template and stick to it without really thinking about what makes that character 'awkward' and what the root and type of awkwardness is, unique to them. so instead we just get, like... generic big word user. generic driven by logic and logic alone guy. generic guy who doesn't Do Well with other people, for Smart Reasons.
here's a list of true things about L which i think are safe to say are uncontroversial
intuitive
logical, master of deductive reasoning
competitive
behaves in an odd way that draws attention
is aware of that fact
focuses extremely hard on his cases and only cares about being a detective not anything else
isolates himself and doesn't like talking to people partly for his own safety partly because it's boring to him
here are things i have seen in characterisation of L which i would like to dispute
makes decisions and draws conclusions based solely on logic and evidence
doesn't understand social cues
here's a list of alternate interpretations which i would like to propose and that i am willing to back up with evidence and/or by physically fighting over them
is driven primarily not by logic or evidence, but by incredible intuition which is supported by logic and evidence when it suits him
has a keen understanding of people, interpersonal relationships, and social norms
leverages that understanding frequently to his benefit
feels that he is not capable of / not a part of emotions that he sees as being typically human (see his speech about being a monster)
and yet in an abstract and self-contradictory and low-priority way still kind of desires connection, leaving him emotionally isolated
chooses to behave oddly on purpose, not because he doesn't realise he's behaving oddly, but because it is not a priority for him
those might seem like fine distinctions at some points, but stray slightly off the mark and his characterisation begins to vary wildly. for example, interpret L as being bemused or unaware of social cues, and one possible characterisation that may stem from that understanding (which i have seen) is that L doesn't understand sarcasm or jokes - which is demonstrably untrue. L demonstrates weak social skills because social skills aren't a priority for him, not because he doesn't understand social norms. after all he does a reasonably convincing 'i am a normal dudeguy' voice on at least two occasions (suzuki the information line guy and asahi the calling matsuda for drinks guy). even with the taskforce, when his behaviour is more of his usual bizarre self, he still makes the effort to treat them respectfully and meet them where they are, explaining himself when they ask, chatting with them, holding ordinary conversations. you can read this any number of ways but my point is that he can do all of this with relatively little struggle
it's also very much not the case that L doesn't have feelings or care about other people. he's ruthless and he's cool with causing people to die if he has to, but he reacts with visible distress to the deaths of the FBI agents, to ukita's death, to the prospect of other members of the taskforce dying. he does care, he's just not morally driven as a priority.
ok but if he can cosplay as Normal Dudeguy with no trouble then why doesn't he. why does he conduct all his business in dark rooms apart from the entire world forever. is it gauche to use a section of my own fic to explain my point? im going to do it anyway
It is easy to identify in Light what he has long known in himself. That little pearl of disruption, grown around an irritating grain of something just unique and tremendous enough to be uncomfortable to the more ordinary around them. L has hidden it by hiding himself. Light has hidden it by hiding within himself. L's black letter is to Light’s vapid smile is to Kira's invisible bullet.
(honestly a lot of what i have discussed here is also covered in this fic so in case this fucking three thousand word essay is not enough for you you can go read that.)
something L and light significantly have in common is that their intellect and unique way of thinking really set them apart from everyone in the world, which is incredibly isolating. but while L has the 'benefit' (arguably could be a detriment but i think he sees it as a benefit) of a unique upbringing which allows him to use his skills to their full extent without worrying about really anything else, light is very much trapped by social convention. while light's life is privileged and materially perfect, he's stuck inside what society expects of him, while L is able to exist completely outside that paradigm. the result is that light has retreated within himself and spends all day playing a part, barely tolerating the monotony and apathy of the world around him by mechanically performing as expected while smothering the part of him that never has an opportunity to truly come out until kira. L, on the other hand, has no reason to put up with a society that is, for lack of a better term, really just beneath him. so he retreats. remember that the first volume/chapter of the manga is called 'boredom'.
you can see that even in his comparatively limited interactions with the task force, he is having to exercise a level of patience to explain to them what he's thinking at every stage, to have to defend his methods, his instincts, his decisions, etc, needing to step through every stage of his reasoning so that the others can follow and won't object. this is NOT just about masking his odd behaviour, it's also very much about having to step through his morals and his process, which is second nature to him but is new to everyone else and needs explaining. it is visibly exhausting to him, and this is with people he actually seems to like well enough. eg during yotsuba arc when light and soichiro keep raising moral concerns, and he has those little "here we go again" moments (which i love SO much and are so telling of him to me) even though he doesn't let his frustration show. which is why he usually does not bother with it and prefers to work alone. he sits the way he does even though he knows it's odd, because he feels he need to sit that way. when light calls it out, he doesn't question that people will think he's strange, so he's clearly aware. he just explains himself.
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but if he were out with people on the regular, he'd need to defend himself constantly. the things L does are not conventional. yes the sitting is just an oddity of his so it's a good example, but it's not just the things that are odd that cause a problem: he frequently makes decisions which seem to make massive leaps of logic nobody else (except light) can follow, and often his actions are morally questionable or even reprehensible. all that is because L is extremely pragmatic and results-focused. it kind of doesn't matter to him how he gets from A to B as long as he gets to B. but the way his mind works is that he makes big jumps that make perfect sense to him but would draw curiosity or objection from anyone who doesn't think the way he does. it would be absolutely exhausting to have to constantly defend every strange or questionable thing he did, so he just retreats.
when he works with other people, i think it's worth noting that the team dynamic never actually struggles for L's awkwardness. this is something i really like about death note honestly - L is quirky and strange, but the series doesn't do that thing where it's like He's A Genius Of Course He's Rude To Everyone. he's actually not. for the most part, L is courteous, patient, and polite. he's sometimes blunt or abrupt, but he very rarely does the thing where he's obliviously cruel or brushes people off. he's considerate of people's needs, he's visibly compassionate of other people's emotional difficulties, and he very rarely loses his patience. when matsuda tries to tell the locked-up light about kira resuming activity, L snaps "Matsuda!" to stop him, and then immediately corrects himself to go "I mean, Matsuda-san." it would have been really easy for the series to do that tropey shit where he's so smart that he doesn't bother with politeness, but he factually does. he makes the effort to treat people politely even when he's not actually being kind. when he's asked to explain himself, the reader can see he's tired and annoyed, but he doesn't take it out on people. on the odd occasion he does make fun of someone for being slow, he does so in mostly light-hearted ways. so he is very capable of dealing with other people directly. his lack of social skills aren't for lack of understanding. he just can't be bothered. it's a waste of energy to try and behave 'normally' or to do things that other people find acceptable, whether that's due to social norm or common morality. it is so, so much easier for L to do things alone. without the need to explain or defend his behaviour to anyone, his isolation turns real world problems into something almost purely theoretical. so it really is like a game for him, at least at first.
whatever
i think it's really important for a character like L to not be fooled by the surface-level categorisation of 'smart awkward character'. we really need to find what's driving his awkwardness. it's not ignorance, it's not even really disdain, it's exasperation. he's tired of being surrounded by people who just can't keep up with him, and he does not have enough energy or interest to spend his time handholding everyone through his process, so he just does whatever the hell he wants and avoids people as much as possible so he doesn't have to deal with it.
look i know this is a really long way to say stuff that people mostly already know, but i think L is one of the most finely nuanced characters in the series because he looks like such a simple expression of a known archetype and the ways in which he subverts expectations are so granular that it's easy to completely miss them even while appreciating how interesting he is. the way this translates into how i write him is that he's polite and has a lot of patience until he simply doesn't, at which point he'll inwardly or subtly express that he wishes he didn't have to bother with this shit, that he picks up on fine social and emotional details that other people will totally miss, but that he'll always put his own whims and plans before anything else.
tl;dr: L behaves like someone who is constantly moving at his own pace and for whom dealing with people is rarely worth the effort, but this does not make him inept or unkind.
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scrivenger-grimgar · 10 months ago
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Every time I read Yiling Wei sect AUs and they start describing what the sect members and leader wears its like, (direct quote from The Yiling Wei Sect and the Black Robed Lan by IvoryDragon48)
"[Wei Wuxian's hair] was pulled up into a high ponytail by a red ribbon with a gold and silver headpiece ornamenting and helping to direct the flow of his hair. The robes he wore were expensive looking with black being the dominant color and reds as the accents. The inner robe was a red so dark it looked like blood and the outer robe had simple yet elegant designs."
--And like, I get the urge to make them really cool looking and with themes or designs matching the other sects but like??? there's massive wasted potential here!!!
First, the hair. that's all well and good, but there is no way in hell that the Yiling Wei folks (Wen Remnants and others reviled/ostracized by society at large) are going to buy a gold guan OR a silver guan. why the hell would they bother spending precious resources on trying to impress people who already don't like them for something they literally have no control over.
But Wei Wuxian would know that he has to play the game now that he has people to protect, and going to a Con as a Sect Leader and not doing what all the other sect leaders are doing (wearing guan to say "I'M BETTER THAN YOU!!") is essentially outright stating that he holds no respect for any of them except in a way that could get him and his people killed. so instead, he goes "fuck it" and makes a guan out of something incredibly ordinary, like iron or wood, so now if anyone brings it up he can say "Oh, well, I like feeding my kids." or "Actually, I made this myself, all the better for carving protective arrays into!"
--And that's it. Wei Wuxian is a street kid he absolutely knows that rich people don't like to think about poor people and that they prefer to ignore them or hurt them. except you cant just attack someone who's being perfectly reasonably polite in public, especially when you just pointed out that he's 'poor'. Wei Wuxian's strategy is make them so fucking uncomfortable that they leave us alone.
(This would of course be after several years of no contact and no fighting so things have cooled off a bit)
Next, robes. No expensive robes. Let them be very well modified normal robes that have subtle stains and colour bleaching from sunlight and washing. The (shown, non-array-work) embroidery is at best amateur level, and Wei Wuxian will proudly show it off, loudly saying "a-Ning started a while back to help with his fine motor skills, and he's really come such a long way!!" and that "Oh, Xuanyu started practicing only recently but he's already so good at it!"
The Yiling Wei are the exact opposite of Lanling Jin. Wealth is to be used to benefit everyone and everyone is to be loved and appreciated for their work. The refusal to spend money of frivolous things is strong, especially when its something you could make yourself.
Self Ornamentation would not be jade or gold or silver or silks. It would be some nice wood, these feathers from the bird that likes me, hey look at this cool rock I found I'm gonna polish it like a gemstone, I dug these awesome bones out of my grandmama's garden you think I can do anything with 'em?
Yiling Wei folks are death druids.
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nochedie · 3 months ago
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intertwined, sewn together | sam winchester ☁️
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pairing: sam winchester x gn!reader
genre: fluff
wordcount: 1k ish
summary: just some late night talking
a/n: hehe… um 😳 i actually haven’t written anything for 7 YEARS! and i haven’t ever written for spn before! so please be gentle with me 🙏 i am working on a soulless sam fic but it’s becoming pretty long soo i decided to just do a little fluffy drabble in the meantime! i have a migraine so im sorry if it makes little to no sense :) i read through a couple times and i cant tell if its bad or if i just hate my own writing (definitely the last one but it might be both 😌☝🏼) anyways i love sam and i needed some fluff! much love and please enjoy 🫶🏼
“do you ever think about… the future? for us?” you and sam were laying next to each other in the motel room double bed, alone in the room. dean was out at the nearest bar, and told you both not to wait up. you always cherished the alone time with sam.
he turned to face you, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “all the time.”
“and what do you think about?” you took in each and every inch of his face, the sculpt of his jaw, his eyes which held a look of admiration as they looked into yours.
“i think about… one day being able to just… live. you know? me and you. forever.” his voice held some sadness. and you knew exactly why. you could think about this all you wanted, but the life you led… it could never be normal. sam had tried before, he had tried to be normal, tried to live a normal life. but everything fell apart. you knew he still felt that pain. he wanted so badly to be normal. but he was a winchester.
“maybe we can’t live some suburban life. but we don’t need that to live, sam… sure, our job is dangerous but… well we’re still here, aren’t we? we’ve made it this long.”
“y/n…” you reached out to touch his cheek, and his eyes closed at the feeling, completely relaxing into your touch. “i just… every single day i wake up and worry that something is going to happen to you.”
“hmm… it almost sounds like you don’t think i can fend for myself. you know i can beat a vampire with my bare hands!” you definitely could not.
sam’s laughter filled the room almost immediately, “oh, suddenly you have super strength?”
“you don’t know what i have.” you feigned offence, pulling out of his grasp and turning your body away from him.
“um… what do you think you’re doing?” he spoke between chuckles, slipping his arms around your torso, pulling you flush against him. “let me see your pretty face, love.”
“only if you admit that i have fists of steel and i could absolutely kill a vampire with no weapon.” sam had killed gordon with nothing more than a bit of wire, so this wasn’t the most unrealistic claim.
“right. you’re right, honey. vampires watch out! y/n’s coming! with… maybe chicken wire?”
“you’re mean.”
he practically erupted into laughter, more of an endearing laughter than anything else. he gave you a tight squeeze from behind, pressing a kiss to your neck.
“turn around please, honey. i promise i’ll stop.”
you heeded his request, turning in his embrace so that your faces were but centimetres apart.
“there you are.” he took a deep breath in as he studied every inch of your face, taking in each small detail, each feature which made up the face he loved so much.
you slid one arm around his torso and rest the other on his chest, shuffling as close as you could and letting your eyes close.
“you getting tired?” sam reached over to turn off the bedside lamp, leaving only a sliver of light in the room from the outside street lights.
“just a little. but let’s keep talking, okay?”
“alright, love. what do you want to talk about?” he shifted onto his back and put his arm around you, leading your head to rest against his shoulder, while one arm kept resting on his chest.
“chicken wire.” you stifled a laugh.
sam looked up at the ceiling, a wide smile plastered on his lips. these were his favorite moments with you, and he adored how you could immediately switch his mood.
this hunt in particular had been tough, but it was over now, and this was your last night in the motel before heading to sioux falls in the morning to meet with bobby. the hunt forced sam into some uncomfortable thoughts. you had come far too close to danger, and it sent him into a spiral worrying about you. he hadn’t even thought about what he would do if he lost you, but it felt like he had been hit head on by the thought. he really couldn’t live without you, he knew that for a fact. tonight, he was really feeling it. all he wanted to do was hold you close and never let go. but this conversation with you, your optimism and your smile, just you, allowed sam to feel a genuine content.
“i love you.” he whispered, planting a kiss on top of your head.
you hadn’t realised how tired you were, and you had already drifted to sleep. after a few minutes, sam did the same.
****
you opened your eyes to see sam looking back at you, already awake. “good morning, love.”
“good morning.” you stretched your limbs, sitting up in the bed before looking around the room. “dean didn’t come back last night?”
“he did, he went out to pack up the car. you slept in pretty late.”
“hmm.. well we better get ready and hit the road, then?”
“or… we could cuddle for a bit.” he tugged on your arm, attempting to coax you to lay back.
“sammy.. you just said i slept in pretty late.”
“and did i say that was a bad thing?” cue two more arm tugs.
just as you were about to lay back down and into sam’s arms, you heard a few knocks, followed by dean’s voice through the door. “cars packed up, you kids have got fifteen minutes or i’m leaving you behind!”
“i guess no cuddling today.” sam has to suppress a whine as he reluctantly gets out of bed.
“do you think we have time for a shower?”
“oh, definitely.” you jump out of bed and grab sam’s outstretched hand, following him into the bathroom.
comments, feedback etc always appreciated! thank you for reading!
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boydepartment · 2 years ago
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Enhypen reaction when you take off your promise ring after an argument pls 🥰🥰
ON IT! TY FOR REQUESTING!!! i apologize that this is late i havent been feeling well but i am powering through :) MASTERLIST PART TWO
Enha Reaction- Promise Rings off
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Jungwon- When you guys usually fight it is normally about something small, like who left the fridge open a crack or who accidentally left food out from the night before. Not this time- Jungwon had been out late and hasn't been texting you to update you at all. His excuse was that Sunghoon had to borrow his power bank. You weren't buying it. "I just don't understand how you didn't even think to text me or i dunno use someone else's phone to text me? You've been doing this for the past two weeks!" Your voice was raised and Jungwon's eyebrow quirked up. "What? You think I'm cheating on you or something?" He let out a laugh of disbelief when you didn't answer him, "wow, you seriously think that?" At this point he started laughing. You were absolutely not having it. "Fine keep laughing." You took your promise ring off and slammed it on the table, then you walked out and slammed the door behind you. Jungwon eyed the table and felt his heart drop. Shit
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Heeseung- Arguments with Heeseung were not common a lot of the time. You were very easy going and he was very reasonable. Until it came to your relationship being public. "I don't understand why you don't want to go public, the company said it was okay." Heeseung said as you both lay on his bed. His voice was soft. "I am not comfortable with it, I saw how people get when anyone gets even remotely close to any of you." You mumbled and messed with his shirt buttons, it was a nervous habit. "Who cares what they think? I love you and I want to show it." Heeseung said, his tone shifting. Your brows furrowed and you sat up. "Heeseung, I don't want to have this conversation again." You were easy going but you were not one to be pushed around. "Are you ashamed of me or something?" He asked, your jaw fell. "Of course not why would you even think that?" He gave you a look and it stung, "you don't want people to know that we are together." At this point your demeaner fell, "Heeseung I don't want to get followed everywhere I go, I am not giving up my freedom in that sense." "Oh so dating me is giving up your freedom?" When he said that you got up, "maybe it is!" Heeseung got up after you and followed you into the kitchen. "You don't mean that." Heeseung said, you turned around and handed him your promise ring before walking out of his dorm. You did mean that and he was stupid enough to bring it to light.
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Jay- "Will you please just listen to me?" Jay pleaded, as he followed you around your apartment. You were being a little unreasonable you know, but what was sprung on you was insane. You SHOULD hear him out but you didn't want to. You have roots here and you were stubborn. "I am not moving just because you want me to." You said trying to distract yourself from this conversation. You had been with Jay since even before he debuted. Whenever they would have a concert in your area he would stay with you for the weekend. This time he wanted you to come back with him. "You'll have my parents and me around you- you said you wanted to be around me more, I'll take care of everything." Jay loved you more than anything and it hurt him everytime he had to leave you in the U.S. "I cant make myself depend on you." You said suddenly, you absolutely refused to let anyone have that much power over you. "What..?" Jay's voice broke. "I cant make myself depend on you for a home, food, a job, I cant give anyone that much power over my life you know this." You leaned against your counter and took a deep breath, "if you cant stand me not being around you and little trips arent cutting it then here." You took off your promise ring and handed it to him. "I am not ready to give my whole life up for someone."
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Jake- The dinner at Jake's parents house seemingly went well to him. But you saw the stares and you heard the whispers. To him it went well, to you it was an absolute disaster. They didn't like you very much and they thought you were holding him back. On the car ride to your apartment you were silent while Jake kept talking. "It went so well! Oh I cannot wait until Christmas and then we can have another dinner, it's going to be the absolute best. Don't even get me started on-" You guys pulled up to your apartment complex and he parked. "Jake-" "My mom makes the absolute best-" "Jake." He stopped talking and looked at you, almost immedietly his excited body language came to a stop, you were upset and he knew that. "Baby what's wrong?" "I-I cant go." You stopped looking at him and he grabbed your hand. "What why not? It's so much in the future I'd think you could get the day off right?" "Jake it's not that I just- I cant do this anymore I'm sorry." You quickly took off your promise ring and got out of the car. He was left in shock, watching you speed off and into the complex, when he looked down he saw the ring in the passengers seat and he felt his heart shatter. Jake didnt even know what just happened.
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Sunghoon- "Okay seriously? You had to say your ideal type was some other man? You could've easily said ANYTHING else." Sunghoon didn't get mad at you often, but this pressed his buttons. During an interview you got asked who your ideal type was and you said it was some guy from a j-rock group. He didn't even know the guy. "I couldnt say yo-" "Why not?" "Do you know how much of a scandal that would create? I am not putting that on either of us." You said calmly. Sunghoon looked at you and just sighed. At this point you got sort of angry. "You were the one who said you didn't want to go public, I wanted to months ago." "And put you at risk? No way." He said quickly. You stood up now in front of him, "you are so 50/50! You even said your ideal type was another idol!" "I am not and that was over 4 years ago! I am-" "Yes you are! Do you want people to know I'm yours or not?" When Sunghoon didn't say anything- you got nervous. "It's not that I don't want them to know its just- its- its complicated." Your brows furrowed, "fine." You took off your promise ring and handed it to him, "talk to me when it becomes LESS complicated." His jaw dropped and he just stood there. Unable to move as he kept looking down at the ring in his palm.
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Sunoo- You had been distant lately, in your defense you had school, a part-time job, and a lot of family stuff going on. You had no energy to do anything. While this was going on Sunoo felt insecure, he thought he did something. He thought you were with someone else. So when he randomly dropped by your abode one day it took you back. "What are you doing here?" You asked as he just waltzed in. "I wanted to stop by." He spoke in a matter of fact tone as he started looking in corners. "What are you looking for?" You asked, leaning against the doorframe, he was scoping your room. "Should I be looking for something? Or someone?" Sunoo said with a look on his face. "What are you talking about?" You already didn't feel well and you didn't want to deal with this at the moment. "Where is he Y/n?" Your brows furrowed and you sat on your bed, a headache already starting, "I don't know who you are talking abt Sunoo." "You've been distant." He said coldly. "SO you think I am cheating on you? Instead of checking in on me you think I'm cheating on you." You were upset now, upset that he didn't trust you, upset that it didn't seem like he cared enough to check in on you. "Should I not?" Sunoo was stubborn and mad and maybe you should have communicated with him better, however, you were still hurt really bad. "Sunoo I am not doing this right now." You took your ring off and set it on the beside table, "just go away." You laid down and didn't look at him. "Y/n...?" "I said go away!" You spoke louder. You didn't want to be around him, little did you know his eyes weren't even on you, they were on the ring shining on the table.
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Ni-ki- "Y/n I said leave me alone." Riki said, his voice cold. He just sat there facing his computer. "You wanted me to come over! And now you're just ignoring me!" You sat on one of the bunks, you just finished your homework and you wanted to be around your boyfriend but he was being moody. "Can you just leave? You're annoying me." Riki said as he typed away. Of course he didn't mean it, he had a bad day and he didn't know how to communicate that any noise right now bothered him. "You're being immature right now." You said and crossed your arms, you were pressing his buttons. "Oh I AM BEING IMMATURE?" Riki flipped his chair around and looked at you, "you're the one being stubborn and staying here while I am telling you to leave!" "You aren't communicating with me at all! And you're being really back and forth! I am not being immature I am trying to talk to you!" You were frustrated. "I don't want to talk!" He flipped back around and continued typing. You were mad and you looked down at the ring on your finger. You yanked it off and tossed it on him before leaving. Riki was about to turn around when he saw the ring on the floor. He sighed and hit his head on the desk. He fucked up.
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otherone12 · 2 months ago
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Hi! Can you write a Gerard x Chubby!Reader smut?
Maybe readers feeling a little self conscious so Gerard shows them how much he loves her?
Afab!Reader preferably
Thank you! -Anon
You Are Perfect
Gerard Way x Chubby!Reader
-> Masterlist
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A/N: Hey!! Sorry for took that long! I wasn't sure if i shoul post this yet, cause im not the best smut writer, but here it is! Well, hope u like it! <3 (If it turned out too different from what you imagined, let me know and I'll try to fix it :) ) (i'm also working on a christmas fic!!)
Summary: You felt insecure about your body, but Gerard did his best to make you feel loved, pretty and enough. (this is basicly a fluf smut... there was no much backstory)
- Word Count: 1.820
- Warnings: AFBA SMUT
- Ps: I'm kinda awful writing smut...
- Ps2: I'll not use y/n…
- Ps3: I'm brazilian, so english is not my first language... sorry if i wrote something wrong.
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1st Person POV (reader)
It was the third dress I put on and nothing seems to fit. Looking in the mirror I only see my imperfections, my arms are not as thin as I wanted, my stomach feels even bigger than the last time I checked. 
I didn't want to go out, I didn't want to have to see my boyfriend, the only thing I wanted was to be alone and hide. 
I dont always feel like that, I mean, I normally don't feel like this. I'm comfortable the way I am, but those last few days I just hated the way I look, and worse, I started to doubt Gerard's feelings for me.
Why is he still with me? He is so gorgeous, so kind, so smart, talented… he is all perfect… and I cant even be pretty enough to deserve him. 
And there I was… sitting on our bed, with my hands on my face, trying not to convey my feelings, I took a deep breath and adjusted my posture. Just in time, because as soon as I did, Gerard walked in. 
- Hey, babe… - he looked at me and I saw his smile fading when he noticed something wasn't right. - What's wrong? Are you okay? 
- Yeah, I'm fine, Gee… - It was a lie, and he knew it. I can't hide anything from him.
- C'mon, sugar, you don't need to hide anything from me… - he sat by my side, placing his hand on my shoulder. 
- It's not important, Gee… seriously - Damn my fake smile is awful - I'm fine…
I turned my face to avoid his look, but he held my chin gently, forcing me to look at him. 
- Hey… If you’re like this, it is important - The concern on his eyes made tears form in my eyes - Tell me… we can solve this and-
- There's no way to solve this, Gerard. - I spat it out all at once, maybe I raised my voice a little, but then I felt a knot on my throat, and now my voice started to break  - I'm… like this… and I can't change it… 
I pointed to my body, and that tear ran down my cheek.
- I tried, I swear I tried… - My voice trembling while I still tried to pull myself together -   but nothing worked…
- Wait… is this about your body? - he furrowed his eyebrows, turning really serious, his hand reaching for mine - Because if it is…
- of course it is! - my breaking voice just turned into a barely whisper when I pronounced the next sentence - I can't understand why you are still with me… 
His eyes widened, and he got up from the bed, standing in front of me and gently holding my hands. 
- Don't you dare talk like this! - He didn't raise his voice, but the confidence in his speech silenced him. -  You are the prettiest girl I've ever seen! not just this, you are funny, smart, kind and, in my eyes, perfect. I love you… more than I ever loved anyone.
His words were sincere, so sincere that I almost believed them, but I couldn't shake the feeling of not being enough...  
- Gee, I love you too… - i sighed, looking deep in his eyes -  but you don't need to say this things to make me feel better- 
- I mean it. Every single word. - He cut me off, seriously again, with a look of defiance, as if I was doubting him and he needed to prove to me that he was right - But if you can't believe me, I will have to show you. 
 Before I could do anything, he leaned into a kiss, a kiss that I didn't refuse. His soft lips pressed against mine, while his hand was still holding my chin, while the other made its way to my waist. I gasped when I felt it, parting the kiss. 
- Gee… - our foreheads touched, and I felt his breath on my face. Looking at his hazel eyes i whispering with uncertainty - You really don't need to-
- I want it. - His voice was firm, but kind at the same time, a soft smile appeared in his lips- Let me do this, babe… 
His lips found mine again, deeper this time, his hand sliding up to the back of my neck. I melted into him, my hands clutching at his shirt as his kiss grew more urgent. His tongue brushed against mine, sending a shiver down my spine, and I let myself get lost in him.
He trailed kisses along my jaw, his breath warm against my skin as his hands slipped beneath my shirt. His thumbs brushed over my sides, his touch reverent and unhurried 
- you're so pretty… - he murmured against my skin, making me shiver. 
His touch was tender when his hand slipped under my shirt, pressing his thumbs on my skin. His kisses went down my neck, and my fingers tangled up his hair.
It felt good, even though I still couldn't shake the feeling of not being enough. The warmth of his lips sucking softly on my neck, and he ran his hands on my back. 
- So beautiful… - my skin trembling with his voice. 
I gasped as he lifted my shirt over my head, leaving me espoused before him. My instinct was to cover myself, but Gerard caught my hands, his eyes locking onto mine
- Cmon, babe… - he was really close to me, and I couldn't avoid his gaze. His tone was calm and sweet. - Don't hide yourself… if you want me to stop, just tell me. 
- I… I don't want you to stop. - my voice was uncertain again. I knew I needed this, but I didn't wanted to admit it.
- Good, cause you deserve it… 
His smile was soft and reassuring as he leaned in to kiss me again, his hands brushing along my sides, sending shivers through me. He unclasped my bra with practiced ease, his lips trailing down my collarbone as the fabric fell away.
- You’re incredible, - He murmured.
His hands cupped my breasts as his lips kissed the sensitive skin just above them.
My breath hitched, a soft moan escaping as his kisses grew deeper, more insistent, and going down to my stomach. 
In normal circumstances I would probably blush, or push him away, but all the tenderness on his moves made me want more and more. 
My heart raced when his hand affectionately sllipt to the waistband of my jeans, tracing a line to the buttons. He took his time unbuttoning it, then his gaze met mine, Gerard gas a sweet grin on his face while he put it down, making sure to run his hands all over my thighs.
Once my pants were on the floor, he sighed.
- I wish you could see yourself the way I see you… - there was a slight disappointment in his voice, but at the same time I could feel the affection in the way he said it. 
Soon, I felt the warmth of his lips on my thighs, pressing soft kisses and savoring every inch of my skin. Gerard's hands gently pulled my legs apart, and I shivered with anticipation.  
When his lips reached the inner part of my thigh, a soft moan escaped my lips, the sensation of his mouth sending ripples of heat through me. His kisses moved higher, making me crave him closer. My fingers tangled again in his hair, pulling him toward me, needing him more than ever.
Soon, he took off the rest of my underwear, and looked up at me, i cupped his face, his eyes with an genuine desire that i refused to believe for a while, but without esitation, he said: 
- You are so, so gorgeous… 
And I believed. But I couldn't say anything, my words were replaced by a gasp when I felt his tongue on me, my hands went back to his hair, and his grip on my hips were really tight.
He knew exactly how to move it to make me feel good. My breath hitched, and I felt that sensation on my lower stomach, he reached my clit and I whimpered loudly, pulling him even closer, and then my orgasm washed me over. 
Gerard pulled back off between my thighs, and leaned up over me, kissing me deeply. I could taste myself on his lips while his tongue danced with mine. 
- Sugar, you're so perfect. - he murmured on my lips - I love you, more than you can imagine. 
- I love you too, Gee - I replied, still out of breath. 
His hands up on my waist, pulling me closer. My sweat body pressed against his clothes. your thumbs making circles on my skin.
- Good, cause I'm not done yet. - a mischievous smile appeared on his lips, which soon reached my neck - You are too pretty to stop now. 
Gerard started to undress himself, and when his pants were off, it was obvious how much he wanted that by the evident bulge on his boxers, which soon reached the floor. 
His lips met mine one last time, before I felt him thrusted carefully inside of me.
- Damn, you’re so perfect. - He groaned - And you feel so good.
- Gee… - was the only thing I managed to say between some gasps. - Yeah… 
It wasn't too long till I needed to cum again. The feeling of him inside of me was nothing but perfect. All those insecurities I've had in the last few days, just disappeared. His sweet words filled the room while his touch showed how much he cared. 
We both came together and I couldn't feel more loved. He has this way to make me feel better, even when everything seems wrong. 
We laid back on the bed, my head in his bare pale chest, my arms around his waist. He pressed a kiss on my forehead, his fingertips tracing my skin. I looked up at him.
- Thank you, Gee…- a sheepish smile appeared on my face - you didn't need to do this… 
- Of course i needed, - he let out a small chuckle - You’re perfect. And you need to know that. You need to believe it.
As we lay there, tangled in the softness of the blankets, I couldn’t help but smile. The weight of my insecurities felt lighter, almost like they were being lifted by every tender word, every loving touch that Gerard had given me. My heart still raced from the intensity of everything, but now, it was a sweet, content kind of racing.
His fingers traced idle patterns on my back, soothing me in a way that made everything feel... right. His breath was steady, calm, and I could feel the steady rhythm of his heart beneath me, reminding me that I was not alone. The space between us was warm, and it felt like it was filled with more than just physical closeness, it was filled with a quiet understanding, a love that made me feel seen, truly seen, in ways I hadn’t thought were possible.
___________________________________________
~ So.. thats it! Lemme know if u liked <3
(U guys think i should do a tag list?)
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penkura · 5 months ago
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Special [2/2]
Note: Second part from this request here! Sorry it took so long, I've been burnt out and just struggling to get things out lately. I'll have an update post later today, I think.
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Sanji really does feel awful when he realizes what’s going on with you, why you walked away and said you wouldn’t bother anymore. He hates how he’s made you feel, without even realizing it, but he never expected you would actually like him back. He’d resigned himself to the fact that, in his mind, you didn’t have any feelings for him nor would you ever. He’s used to it but for some reason it hit harder when he thought it was you that would reject him.
So he never said anything. He treated you normally, as normally as he could when he thought you were so perfect, but it seems like he's made a mistake. He’s made you think there’s something wrong with the way you look, when it couldn’t be farther from the truth. Nami has heard it so much from him she’s started rolling her eyes while Sanji nearly cries to her about how much he adores you.
No, how much he loves you. He’s not told anyone else, only Nami, making her concern3d the moment she notices you avoiding and ignoring him. Once she gets Sanji to tell her what happened, she’s so close to smacking him upside the head for being so stupid.
“Of course she’s upset, you’re an idiot!”
Nami spends the better part of her afternoon berating Sanji, who cant even argue with her and just nods in agreement to everything she says. She stops him before he can even ask for ideas on what to do so he can make it up to you.
“No, you’re doing that yourself this time.”
It takes him most of the day to decide what he could do, what he could say, so it surprises you when he finally shows up after dinner that evening. He’s not looking you in the eyes, but he has your favorite flowers with him, it makes your heart ache a bit, believing he’s done this to every girl he’s ever upset in the past so you don’t move to take the flowers. You’re trying to stop your feelings, he's making it so hard though.
“Sanji—”
“[Y/N], I’m so sorry I made you feel like you aren’t special to me. I…it’s no excuse, but I didn’t think you’d ever have feelings for me like I do for you so I was trying to distract myself from you,” it starts to make sense, but you still don’t move, you’re not entirely sure you can trust him, “If you never forgive me I deserve it, but…can you give me a second chance? No, that’s not right…let me have the chance to make it up to you, and prove you’re so much more than to me than you think you are.”
You’re both quiet for a few moments, Sanji believes you’re completely done with him while you think it through.
A conflict between crewmates over something is always a possibility, but when it’s due to romantic feelings it feels weirdly worse to you. It feels like you’re letting it take over everything, but you’ve had these feelings for so long that you aren’t sure they’ll ever go away, even if you are trying to stop it. You still want to be his friend if nothing else, though it almost seems like he may want something more.
That’s something to discuss later.
Sanji starts to feel like things will get better when you reach out and take the flowers, not looking at him even when he looks up at you.
“…you can make my favorite dessert to start…and explain yourself better.”
The grin on his face makes you smile just a little bit in return, as Sanji nods and takes your hand to bring you to the kitchen.
“I’ll start right away while you put those in water! I’ll make you whatever drink you want too!”
“That sounds nice, Sanji…”
Before you get too much farther, Sanji stops and pulls you into a hug that you return.
“I’m sorry I made you feel like you weren’t special to me…you mean more to me than anyone else in the world.” You’re going to choose to believe him, especially when Sanji goes the extra mile to make sure you know how much he loves you.
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stevie-petey · 8 months ago
Note
oh also,,, whenever you wanna write. chap 6 steve & robin pov blurb because i am so sure steve would be going on and on about bug once she left so my soul needs that thank you <3
im kicking myself idk why i didnt include this scene in the chapter like its PERFECT for what i have planned later but ,,, for now all i can do is make it a blurb n tell people to read it lmao
enjoy <3
"it didnt matter that you were an ass. i was still... obsessed with you." robins confession hangs in the air. her back is pressed against steves as they lay on the floor, bound together. his eye stings and his nose is numb and crusted with dried blood. he isnt sure why shes telling him this.
"even though all of us losers pretend to be above it all, we still just wanna be popular. accepted. normal."
the rope around steves wrists tense. he clenches his fists and bites the inside of his swollen cheek. acceptance. he thought he had that, once. when he was sixteen with a crowd of people who wouldve done anything for his attention.
now hes eighteen and the crowds bruises still tinge his body.
"if it makes you feel any better, having those things isnt all that great. seriously." it took him a long time to learn that. to recognize that his acceptance was merely a precedence. it wasnt real friendship. he wouldnt learn this until he met you, until you taught it to him. "it just baffles me. everything that people tell you is important, everything that people say you should care about, its all just... bullshit."
bullshit. nancy taught him that, too.
"its all just bullshit, it was so obviously bullshit. i was an idiot for not realizing it sooner," steve bites the inside of is cheek again. somehow, his lips remained untouched when he was being beaten by the russians. your lips still linger on his. "you know, the only person who saw through my bullshit was y/n. one day, before we knew about monsters and russian lairs, she said that she knew i wasnt a bad person. it... it stuck with me. here she was, y/n henderson, telling me i wasnt so bad."
"and then...?" robin is almost too afraid to press him further. shes never seen him like this, vulnerable and open. she didnt know that his history with you went beyond just a summer fling.
steve nudges his head back and sighs. "i messed up. i... i hurt people. people she cared about."
robin frowns. you wouldnt forgive someone so easily for that. theres more to what steve is saying, she just cant figure out what. "she must really love you, then. if she forgave you."
"i dont know if she loves me, but i know that she believes in me. sees someone worth putting up with." he huffs, he cant believe he will never see you again. he hates that he will never be able to thank you for seeing a version of him that no one else could. "it wasnt until i messed up that i realized she saw something in me. its ironic, isnt it? but i guess you gotta mess up to figure things out, right?"
he had to mess up to realize that he loved you, too.
"i hope so. i feel like my whole life has been one big error." robin admits. its the least she could do, offer steve a piece of herself in return for what hes offered her.
an unattractive snort escapes steve. he laughs, and his shoulders shake against robins. he understands exactly what she means. "yup."
"god, i wonder how y/n does it."
"does what?"
robin pauses, worries that she might reveal too much. but its steve. if theyre going to die together, he deserves to know. he has to know. "shes always able to see the error in people and love them anyways."
steve is quiet. he lets what she said settle over him. its what he loves the most about you. how youve always managed to see the good in people, even in someone as cruel as billy. he hadnt known that robin noticed this kindness in you, too.
she seems to understand you in a way only he and jonathan do.
"you know, i wish id known you in clicks class." its a peace offering. an extension of himself to robin for caring about you the way he does. no one really seems to be able, despite how easy steve finds it to be.
"yeah?"
"really, i do. maybe you couldve helped me pass the class." he breathes out, the thought of all he couldve done differently will always haunt him. king steve is dead, but the persona is a ghost he will never be able to get rid of. "maybe instead of being here, id be with y/n on some romantic getaway. maybe you wouldve given me the courage to do what i shouldve done sooner."
robin doesnt say anything. she turns her face away, presses her cheek against the concrete surface.
"robin?"
she swallows. "yeah. yeah, maybe. you wouldnt have been stuck slinging ice cream with me like some smuck."
steve shakes his head. hes worried hes said the wrong thing. "hey, dont get me wrong. i enjoyed being your smuck. it was fun while it lasted."
bittersweetness creeps upon robins face. she smiles, though its a sad one. shes going to die with the understanding of why youve fallen so hard for steve harrington. "yeah. it was."
then the doors burst open and the russian find them.
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a-sadmilky · 6 months ago
Text
MANGA SPOILERS, END OF BNHA
Lets start at the beginning, just to clear the air. A lot of fans (including myself at one point) thought mha was a story on how midoriya was going to become the number one hero. Which is incorrect
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He says ‘This will be my story, the journey to become the best of all heroes’. Now to clear the air again. At this time Midoryia was 14. The Midoryia that is narrating had graduated from UA, I'm sure there has been a time where he (Midoryia at 14)  said he wanted to become number one, but in that time that's all he knew. Him, Bakugou and all aspiring heroes at a young age assume to become the greatest is to become number one, When thats not the case at all. 
When we first get introduced to this idea of true heroism is when we meet stain. We come to understand that iida’s motives to become a hero stems from his brother. Iida’s brother was left paralyzed via stain and unable to become a hero, this fueled iida’s passion to become a hero and to defeat the “hero killer”. 
What stain says really changed the course of MHA
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(for context, before stains tries to finish iida off, he calls him and his brother weak. Iida, upset, yells at stain for calling his brother weak and defends his honor. Iida states ‘ill kill you’ to which stain replies, “Save him first”. Stain continues, telling iida that what he is doing is the furthest thing from becoming a hero.) Stain then recognizes Midoriya as a true hero. And iida starts to find his sense of heroism
Eventually class 1-A finds their sense of heroism one by one. Leading to Momo, Kirishima, Midoryia, and Iida all go against authorities and rescue Bakugou after the attack on the forest training camp arc. 
The forest training arc had to be the most confusing for fans. This is because is Tsuyu Asui
A lot of fans (me included) wondered why Tsu compares the group to villains and discourages them from saving Bakugou. Well, this is the same reason why Mirio Toogata stopped Midoryia from saving Eri. 
These characters both found heroism in a similar way. Both are taught to follow the hero code, wait until the authorities either handle the situation, or until they are called in for help. 
THAT DOES NOT MAKE THEM BAD CHARACTERS!! Anyone that knows me KNOWS i love the big three. But this does make the story a little more interesting, you cant teach heroism. 
Both Mirio and Tsu are left feeling guilty in the aftermath
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Though they both felt distraught, we start to see Mirio and Tsu started to carve their path for heroism. Im not saying that Tsu and Mirio didnt have heroic traits since both are in the hero course to save others. But Midoryia demonstrated to them that to become a true hero is to act.
Lets talk about Dynamight 
Bakugo has been with Midoryia since childhood, and has seen midoryia want to become a hero. Even when he is quirkless. It (in my opinion) is not an easy thing to grasp for Bakugou. 
Imagine living in a world fulled with strong powers and amazing heroes. Where quirks that are “useless” dont get to become heroes, instead they have normal jobs. Crime is arising and heroes are fighting tooth and nail to save the world while losing loved ones in the process. You are now 4, and your quirk is explosion, you are praised by everyone since showing the classroom your new power. You can see it now, you becoming just as great as your idol. Imagine your face when you find out your best friend became unlucky, and became quirkless. Imagine your face when they still want to be a hero. Sounds like a death wish, right? 
I feel like bakgou cares about midoryia. Does he have a wrong way of showing it in childhood, yes. 
Baukgou states that he feels like hes always behind. Bakugou feels completely side wiped at the idea that his quirkless classmate actually had a very powerful quirk. This also makes him feel as though Midorya is the one looking down at him
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Bakugou has shown the MOST character development i have seen in MHA. (my opinion of course). I think its very refreshing to see them both learn from each other. Dynamight learns to become a true hero and Deku learns courage.
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[There are more examples of deku imitating bakugou.. I can not find them :( ]
I always see the same argument within the fandom, “Why does Mineta get to be in the hero course and not Shinsou”. Mineta has a strong physical quirk that allowed him to pass the entrance exam. (and not to mention he placed 9/20 in the end of the term test).
((To clear the air. i am NOT a Minteta fan. But the fans constantly fails to understand how he is in the hero course. it was never about 'How cool is your quirk?' it was 'Can you defeat a robot?'))
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I think what the fandom means to say is that quirks like Shinsou are often slept on.. But why?
In the society of MHA, there is a common conception that a strong quirk is the gateway to becoming a hero, especially number one. This is extremely emphasized when we are introduced to the entrance exam for Yuuei. This is completely rigged for characters with non physical quirks like; Aizawa, Shinsou, Monoma, and more.
Obviously this is not true. Even though he is not in the top 3, Aizawa has a powerful quirk that he had to learn how to strengthen and control on his own. He walked so that Shinsou can run. 
The reason why i mention Monoma is because him and Shinou are very similar. They’re quirks depends on someone else. They can activate it all they want but if the recipient is not interacted with they are both ‘useless’. 
I’m unsure if this is true, but I'm glad Monoma gets a statue. It opens up a window for those who don't have physical quirks. It shows that even they can become heroes. 
In my opinion, Midoryia having a statute instead would not have been as impactful. It would have pushed the same narrative. Strong physical quirk = success. ((Also! did everyone just forget that Monoma literally carried the war along with Aizawa by keeping Shigaraki’s quirk erased and was able to copy Kurogiri’s quirk and teleport the heroes to the field?? That kid deserves a metal. ))
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The only sad feeling i have about the ending is Midoryia losing the embers. Seeing him grown up and releasing the gifted power as if saying “thank you” still brings me to tears. To see him hon the powers and get stronger then to release them will always stab me in the heart. BUT THIS ENDING MAKES PERFECT SENSE. 
Why, would Midoryia, knowing the trouble it carries, the pain it can do to the human body, would give that quirk to another? Its a good ending to finally have that power rest. Imagine that quirk got passed on again. Whoever has it next would have become number one easily, society would have learned nothing. 
Midoryia becoming a teacher at Yuuei, and trying to open his own hero agency is the perfect ending for my hero academia. Teaching and aspiring others with different quirks. And we all know how he loves learning about other quirks and mutations. This is perfect for him!
‘So.. it was all for nothing?’ you might ask. If you do believe everything Midoryia did was for nothing then im sorry, you did not watch My Hero Academia. 
Midoryia did not become number 1. But he most definitely became the greatest hero. 
If you think being the greatest means to be number one then you have completely lost the plot of My hero. Being number 1 is not about heroism, its statistics. When you start bringing numbers into this, it starts to become a job. When you start to want to become a hero only for money you are not a true hero. Uraraka joined because she needed money, but her point of view changed. Sure now she gets money but that's not her main focus anymore. She wants to save, she wants to help others like Toga. When you want to become a hero for fame like Denki, you are not a true hero. Denki’s focus has changed. This is exactly what Stain was talking about in the beginning, society creating fake heroes.
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Those are my thoughts. I love this anime so much please feel free to comment your thoughts and feelings
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