#why cant i get fun asks instead of this
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Well in that case we can also argue that ''trans woman" fonctions as an umbrella gender characterized by a particular adversarial and oppositional relationship to patriarchy: transmisogyny produces trans womanhood, and afab trans women are certainly this.
''Trans woman'' is also an essentialist archetype that some trans women fail to met (e.g those born with a vulva, those who can bear children).
The social reality of the afab transfem can be similar to the one of (conventional) transfemininity if the afab person is perceived (and thus treated) as a transfem..so what about those people ? Aren't they functionally transfem ? Their lived material experience isn't transfem? However similarity can also arises from interesections between racialization, misogyny, or lesbianism, intersexuality, detransition etc, creating experiences that are functionally like or adjacent to trans womanhood. Some afabs can also be ''women by dint of being less than women'' and thus are transfems, this is not exclusive to amab transfems.
the crux of your problem is this sentence: "the social reality of the afab transfem can be similar to the one of (conventional) transfemininity if the afab person is perceived (and thus treated) as a trans fem"
this is the main justification I see being used for claims of transfemininity/trans womanhood/being tma by people who were cafab: people keep mistaking me for a tranny, and that makes me a tranny! this rests on a complete misunderstanding of the systemic nature of transmisogyny. being mistaken for a trans woman, even on the regular, does not put someone in the same totalizing relationship to hegemonic gender, for the simple reason that (as I have now said multiple times) the logic of transmisogyny operates thru birth assignment. the corrective violence of transmisogyny is applied specifically because betraying coercive assignment as male puts a person in a unique degenerate position as far as cisheteropatriarchy is concerned. someone who was cafab will always have their birth assignment as a shield against this, even if there are instances of mistaken identity where it cannot be used in time.
you may retort that sometimes the violence against someone who was cafab proceeds apace despite disclosure of this assignment—perhaps in the case of the cafab butch lesbian facing street violence (thinking of nearby versions of hannah gadsby's story in nannette), or the working class transmasc on T running up against discrimination at the workplace, or, famously, the case of woman athletes, generally Black and sometimes intersex as in the case of Caster Semenya, being banned from sports competitions (I imagine this is one of the examples you're alluding to when you mention intersections). but to equivocate this to transfemininity is itself violent erasure. you would be neglecting that in every case there is a difference between the person under discussion and someone against whom transmisogyny has set its whole machinery.
there are tma masc lesbians, there are working class transfems on T, there are Black trans women for whom participation in sport is yet more complicated. the realities of navigating the legal-medical-social apparatus of gender is multiplied in impossibility for all of them, because birth assignment is the charge laid by transmisogyny to condemn the trans woman. whatever intersection your "afab transfem" sits at, there will always be this difference between them and transfemininity. this is a difference that will be leveraged against the latter, not the former.
if you think you can reskin my argument as you have in this ask and maintain its fit to reality, then you understand neither misogyny nor transmisogyny. transmisogyny against the "afab transfem" is a mistake by the lights of hegemonic gender itself, to be amended (not necessarily into something harmless, but certainly into something different) upon the revelation of birth assignment. meanwhile the misogyny experienced by trans women (including closeted trans women, including the trans girl who does not even know why she is being treated thus!) does not happen by accident, but as part of the logic of (trans)misogyny itself, because trans women fail to be men despite their birth assignment and this demands punishment. there is not an escape-by-disclosure here. in other words, misogyny deliberately makes trans women women! there is no defense the trans woman can mount on the basis of birth assignment, because that is the very event against which her existence is measured.
this is not true of your imagined afab transfem, nor is any further punishment systemically levelled against the "afab transfem" because of their failing to meet the "essentialist archetype" of trans womanhood. on the contrary, the "afab transfem" remains asymmetrically empowered to use transmisogyny against the transfeminine. yes, cafab ppl are not exempt from violent transphobia, but this is not a violence predicated on the same gender-betrayal the transfeminine person embodies. the political distinction between these experiences remains.
a final point: you are correct that some cafabs can be "woman by dint of being less than woman" but I never claimed that this was a unique trait of transfemininity! in fact I made it clear that this is a common condition for many women (ableism, fatphobia, classism, etc. can all degender a woman). what is unique is the role the logic of transmisogyny plays in defining transfemininity, and the specific manner in which it underclasses the transfeminine subject—makes her the kind of person for whom only a certain, highly peripheralized form of existence is permissible.
if you are interested in describing the way the world is (hopefully with intent to change it) then this is not the way to go about that. any careful analysis of the power relations that cisheteropatriarchy uses to facilitate gender-classing in service of the division of labour will make this clear. you can argue whatever you want! you can also be wrong.
#ask answer#why cant i get fun asks instead of this#im answering these bc i think jt would be helpful to have like a library of resposnes dor the inevitable next time#but pls#if i wasnt so deprived of stimulation rn i would probably not be bothering yo answer#hopefully by the end of tomorrow my thumbs will haveba spacebarand moise to caress again
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Can you expand on what you mean by Baron being "too cool" to really fit a horror monster? It's a very interesting concept and I'd love to hear your thoughts. Is it that they're too active/involved/tangible and it detracts from their scariness?
I feel like I should preface this with a wall of disclaimers lmao 1/I am a hardcore, down-to-the-marrow, avid, deeply sincere horror enthusiast, esp. horror creatures. this usually means my mileage is vastly different from the average populace's, and my scaredy bone has been disintegrated by longterm exposure. most things in a piece of horror media won't scare me! so I practically never use that on its own as the scale to talk abt horror experiences, but when something does scare me it's always a special occasion to be treasured. 2/canon d20 is never really meant to be horror horror, and for good reasons: it doesn't fit the company's output, it takes a kind of carelessness in production estimation that is always a huge risk, it's often vulnerable in a way that kinda goes against how TTRPGs usually facilitates vulnerability, and for most people it's just! stressful! d20, even with the "horror-themed" seasons, generally just plays with horror tropes and stays focused in its goal of being a comedy improv tabletop theater show. 3/fantasy high's chosen system is DnD, which as I've mentioned before is before all a combat-based game system, which means the magic circle of play is drawn based on stats that facilitate and prioritize combat. want or not this affects every interaction you have in the game, and given fantasy high's concept from the ground up (everyone's going to school of DnD stuff to get better at DnD) it's doubly relevant. 4/This Is Fine I have no quarrel with this. my meters are internal, I do not ask this show to be anything it doesn't advertise itself to be, and what it is is fucking great! I like it! when I expand on this ask's question it will be like a physicist going insane in a lab. that's the mindset we're going in with.
disclaimers done. my stance on horror as a genre is that it's a utility genre rather than a content genre or a demographic genre; it is the discard of narratives. it's the trash pile. horror, above being scary, is about being ugly and messy, it's the cracks on the ground any story inevitably steps over to stay a genre that isn't horror. the genre's been around long enough to develop a codex and a general language that medias and makers and enthusiasts of the genre can use to talk about and build onto, but if you go into individual pieces there's really no unifying Horror Story. one person's beautiful life can be another's horror story, it's just how it is.
this makes The Monster a deeply intriguing piece of the genre. thing is a monster is in a decent percentage of any story - it's just when the antagonist force steps into something past a certain line traced out in the story's world. monstrousness is in pretty much every western fantasy story, it's in any story with a hero and something to vanquish or win; more than anything it's a proxy of that thing up there. the line in a narrative's world. the monster is the guard of the unknown lands, where heroic, civilized people don't tread.
what does this mean in the context of horror? the genre is about that perceived lawlessness, that "unknown land" so to say. we're in the monster's home. that's the literary context that we often walk into a horror piece with; the monster knows more than you about where you are. it may not understand you, but it holds more information than you, and with that it moves swifter than you, has more covered than you, and is more assured in its existence in this context than you. it's a struggle to catch up to it, it's nigh impossible to get one over it, and you're never sure it'll 100% work, because you just don't have the information necessary to.
with that framing you can kinda see where I'm coming from here: horror's often about the breaking of rules. I always think a monster's most effective when it breaks well-established rules of both existence and visual storytelling. think Possum (2018) or Undertale's Omega Flowey or the Xenomorph Queen - unique change in medium, unique change in graphic, unique change in design language, etc. in that sense I actually really like how canon baron plays out: they don't really function like anything else in the fantasy high universe, the bad kids have not managed to kill them when they've felled literal gods, their domain in fhjy literally introduces new mechanics to encompass their existence! from an experience design standpoint they slap mad shit. BUT! I can't help finding their character, like as a character riz (and the other bad kids, eventually) interact with, to be very... coherent? in design. this is kinda hard for me to articulate in words, it's more often a sense you get once you've looked at enough of these scrumptious fuckers, their general design and the way they show up is just kinda too clean, so to say. always kinda newly made? fresh unboxed. it, once again, makes sense for their lore - they are looking for more about themself from riz - and their function - they're an antagonist in a game experience, they're meant to be interacted with in a way that produces results and meshes with the existing magic circle - but that shininess takes away from the implied history they should have dominion over and the person they're haunting doesn't.
from another angle there is kinda something there about how put-together canon baron is as a concept; the domain they call home is riz's deep-seeded fears, extremely vulnerable things he's drawn borders around to quarantine and refused to walk into. things that from his perspective would irreversibly shatter certain pleasant fictions his world is built on top of. canon baron, While Extremely Cool, I feel is kinda too neat to connect with and signify the apocalyticized mess that'd result from this paradigm shift. the part where they're in riz's briefcase and looking through every mirror is Very Cool And Fucked Up! but ultimately the show draws a line around them as well, by making game-physical, tangible spaces they're in (the mirrors and the haunted mordred manor) and put riz and the bad kids there only when they need to confront stuff. riz is meaningfully narratively away from baron's unknown land for most of fantasy high.
with that and all of my disclaimers in mind my conclusion here is if canon baron wants to be a Horror Monster they'd have to cross way more lines. be a Lot more invasive. hence (holds up my class swap baron like a long cat)
#ask#not art#tldr a lot of fantasy high's and d20's nature plays against having a Horror horror piece in it. there's no space for emptiness or dread#that's one of the most attractive things to me about horror. the monster signifying a new world you don't understand#you see something on the deserted streets and you realize: oh. the world doesn't work how I've been thinking it does#if u've noticed how much this has in common with queer experiences haha. yeag#man. actually I should also put the I Am Not White disclaimer in there too lmao a lot of the notion of The Monstrous is! traditionally#about maintaining and upkeeping a ''social order'' (read: the powers that be)#and a Lot of Wilderness Fiction is deeply and maliciously colonialist#so when I say ''the unknown land'' and ''the monster'' I am pretty much speaking From one of those unknown lands#and from the position of one of those monsters#the fear of the monstrous is so very often the fear of being consumed by - or becoming - the monstrous yourself#and well. when you're already there in the eye of the zeitgeist. You Can Do What You Want Forever#all that to say it Is important to me that baron is made of riz's lies. even more so in this funny class swap thing I make for fun#like as a horror protag he makes me insane. he loves lines! he loves lines he drew himself. he replicates these borders in himself#that mirror the world he lives in that's so hostile to him. that kid Loves rules. he bows to even the ones that hurt him#like. u get where I'm getting to right I did make a whole comic kinda near this subject he's Already The Other#baron is a monster's monster. baron is a mirror image. GODs I cant help but wish they were messier#it's kinda why I make class swap baron to be like. an ever nearing realization. like I warble abt all this but I genuinely do also find#canon baron to be just as visually coherent and thematically perfect as riz if not more. it's hard to beat how cool the mirror stuff is#it's hard to beat that doll face in iconic visuals! I have to strike according to my strength rather than trying to beat canon#so instead of reflection it's captured moments. instead of a blank face it's the lack of one. mmm. maybe I'm just kinda breaking things#for fun also but that's My prerogative in my house awooga <3#well. thats kinda my thoughts on the general subject. thank u for listening. I will bake something soon dyou want some
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sometimes my parents make me want to commit violent crimes
#mine#sorry for putting this on your dash im just angry & have no one i can really bother with this#my brother said he wasnt sure if he wanted to come with us to a castle tomorrow#but hes too young to be home alone all day#so i went to tell my parents bc i sidnt think they wanted to learn that tomorrow morning#instead of even asking why they immediately started with the passive agressive comments#and in an annoyed tone going 'i just dont get what could be so bad about a day of fun with family'#first of all he didnt even say he wasnt goint#second shut the fuck up#he cant speak anymore & is crying#i offer him a bunch of alternatives while my father insults each one and makes it sound ridiculous#while my brother types on his phone#my father starts ranting at my parent about it#as if my brother isnt right fucking there and also 11 years old#im so happy he isnt coming with us#like yeah i never see him but the times i do are always so horrible that im kinda glad about it#he avoids us like the plague & we avoid him back#my parent is fine most of the time#but never in situations like this#if other people are upset in a way that inconviences them theyre shit about it too#anything related to not doing good in school also#and like im fine#im upset sometimes sure but i know i dont deserve this & i can deal with it fine#i dont think my brother deals with it very well though#so im very worried about him#especially bc i think high school is going to be a big struggle for him#possibly more than me#and tbh i think im more of a parental figure to him than our actual parents
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Finding out youre agorophobic is wack bc its like, if you dont know then for me at least you just go out anyway and dissociate the whole time feel like absolute garbage and take days to recover from a small trip to groceries and finding every excuse possible to drop plans with people until they eventually stopped asking and stopped talking altogether. And now its like, oh. Is this why going outside feels like dying. Huh. And i wanna go out and do things but the thought makes me vomit for a week leading up to it and i was told oh its just being dramatic so yeah cool whatever.
Now im like, okay i actually have to get to used to going out and being around people adn put things in place for the paranoia and anxiety and plan things in advance and i gotta tell myself about it and walk myself through it everyday leading up. And im an adult so fuck everyone i will in fact be taking my headphones and a fidget and wearing my rat jacket as a security blanket in 90 degree weather thank you. I am in fact, allowed to accommodate myself and set boundaries fuck you actually.
#winter speaks#figuring out i was gaslit my whole life on more than just yhe two things i was aware if is fucking insane#i have a lot of the same problems my mom has that she fuckin caused or ignored and all my life#i couldnt have this and this and this bc youre just copying me and usinh my excuses#bitch you gave me this shit and then described what you deal eithnusing vocab i hadnt learned yet#and i connected yhe dots and eent oh and instead of you being self awate enough to also go oh you just berated me until i shut up#its really weird living in the same house as someome that gave youost of your issues. and the relationships better and you cant leave yet#but working through things and tryung yo accomodate and take care of yourself and be justifiably angry#while hiding it from the person youre living with bc all you wantbyo do is scream at them and ask them why and istead#youre asking if they want coffee bc youre making some and letting them know therell be packages next week n sorry about that#is a fucking whiplash experience and im just sitting here like °-° i wanna smash things and scream#anyway. get therapy if you can its fun
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hello i'm here for the wip game and i'm picking scraps!!! 👀 👀 👀
yay scraps!!! thats the one ive been working on the most lately, started off as a random snippet of a scene (the doc is called scraps bc ive got two other fic ideas there just so i dont forget them if i ever wanna explore them later. 12.75/13k of the words are for this story now 😭)
looking for an excerpt but its 90% nsfw and every sequence is very long winded, but i love robin and sanji, so here's a little scene w them that also reveals a little of what the fics about..
He’d run into her while lingering in a clothing shop a few islands ago, so fucking guilty and ashamed, and entirely caught out, that he hadn’t even gotten five words into an excuse before giving up. And really, there was no point. It was Robin. She’s smart enough to put two and two together even if most others would have chalked it up to some weird girl-crazy antic of his.
She was, as always, good enough not to pry, but she didn’t pretend not to see him and leave either. Maybe she knew that would have sent Sanji into a spiral. Instead, she ran a critical eye over the racks and pulled out a black, knee length skirt, neither flowy nor skintight, and held it up for him to examine. He had stared blankly for a minute, still trying to reorient himself to the situation but eventually calmed by her warm expression. He nodded slowly, and she smiled in that sweet way that was reserved for nakama. She added the skirt to the items neatly slung over her arm, and he accompanied her while she finished browsing. When he tried to pay she laughed him off, telling him he shouldn’t waste his budget before he’d seen the island delicacies in the market.
and ok i couldnt resist adding another short bit that's way more indicative of the overall tone here but i put it under the cut so this post isnt crazy long + its a little suggestive ig and im shy
“If I took you every time I wanted you, Cook…” he rakes his eye over Sanji with that familiar feral look, only this time it's unbridled. There's almost no Zoro left beneath the beast. He trails off with a harsh bark of laughter that makes Sanji shudder. He can’t get his thoughts together, everything spinning wildly out of his control; Zoro’s anger and frustration, the harsh reality he’s just painted, so different from how Sanji remembers things; the obvious, overwhelming desire that matches the fire in Sanji’s belly. It’s all too much to process. All he can focus on right now is keeping Zoro with him, on him, making him stay. “Then take,” he rasps. He has a hard grip on Zoro's arm, nails digging in to stop him leaving. “I'm right here. Take me.” He still has that mean glint. “Right here?” Sanji pulls until Zoro is pressing him into the mast. “Yes. Here.”
#beefcakelesbian#ask#i love scraps its really fun to write but i really have to be Inspired bc it is all like. explicit.#FOR NOW i just havent gotten the connective tissue scenes in yet ykwim but in true fruityumbrella style the end is sweet#but before it gets sweet it is quite rough. in a good way (i hope??) but i usually blunt the edges in my fics yknow#im boring i know but i cant help it the romantic in me loves a soft ending#was gonna cut in the 'sanji wears seafoam coloured lace wow i wonder why he chose a minty colour...' scene instead but this one is shorter
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oh wow just saw flatmate messaged saying another friend passed smth on like oh okay. I didn't realise he went too u didn't say. in fact none of u said anything to me so that's great
#he lives hours away thats a lot of travel just for drinks#when she asked me she said it was her + one other person. going out for drinks in evening.#but clearly she took the day off work bc ghosts dont do laundry. so it was a whole day trip. so why tell me it was just drinks#unless she just wanted a good excuse for me not to come. okay 👍#i cant even make myself mad abt it like fair enough man. i get it.#and if last weekend is anything to go off she probably wont ask me at all in the future#well as long as they have fun it doesnt matter i guess. im tired of feeling like im just intruding in everyones lives#and everyone fucking lying like what u say doesnt line up with how u act i can tell its not real im not that fucking stupid#ive dealt with this so many times before average autistic experience im tired of naively believing ppl and then the rug being pulled#sorry for being the way i am and for wanting things and for trying to take up space i give up its not worth it anyway#at least this is giving me smth to feel shit abt instead of just formless malaise. makes it easier to deal with that way#anyway. just need to get my shit enough together to leave the house by 3 so i can pick up this stuff for work#and i can do most of my other chores tmr so thats fine#i hate how much fucking time i waste feeling awful. no wonder other ppl have time to watch n read n create n whatever so much more than me#half of my fucking life is spent in my head trying and failing to emotionally regulate im so so sick of it#i wish i never had to think a single thought again and maybe id be happy#jesus fucking christ. well i need to leave my room soon bc i need to pee im not depressed enough to piss in a bucket just yet#hope i never get to that stage again amen uni was pretty fucking dire#.vent#hate weekends so fucking much what a waste of free time
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people smarter than me have said this before but jesus christ why does every job seem to require at least a year of experience and a degree in some hyperspecific field. where did the entry level positions go? how am i even supposed to get experience if none of yall will give me a job without it?
#theres already almost nothing related to my field being offered but even the unrelated things that i think i could try are out bc of this#most of the stuff id actually care abt doing actually require 3-5+yrs! in a field that i cant get into without experience i cant get!#and people talk abt how 'nobody wants to work' i am BEGGING you for a job. literally begging (cover letters).#im coming to the horrifying realization that its possible Nothing i have done w my entire life matters. i have nothing useful#i really feel like i made a mistake. that cant be the best five years of my life i wasnt even happy during most of them#i applied to six jobs weeks ago and ive heard back from one of them and it was a rejection. and theres nothing else to apply to#my degree isnt helping and all of my hobbies are useless. why am i only good at/passionate abt arts. why not math or smth instead#i should have just done ece like i was planning to instead of my honours. what was even the point#and im watching other people in my year get great jobs right out of university. watching my BROTHER get offered work on a silver platter#hes 19 and got five different offers + didnt apply people just asked him to work for them. second year in a row this has happened#hes never had to work for minimum wage. hes always had a good job in his field lined up anytime he wants to work and it always pays well#and i finished five years and ive had to beg for everything ive ever gotten and its still not enough to count for anything#im proud of him but fuck it stings a little#levi.txt#vent tw#oh right i forgot i should just walk in and shake the managers hand. /right/. and they will simply give me a job on the spot bc of this#if people whove been working the same job since before 1990 dont fucking stop giving me bad advice istfg#and these same people say nepotism isnt real and in the same breath talk abt giving their nephew a summer job at their company#literally all i want is work i can be decent at that i care abt and making a living wage. it doesnt have to be fun i dont want to be rich#i just want to do an ok job feel like my work matters and make enough to start my life. thats all
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Wait, I'm confused... do you like the Fence novels or no? Because your first review sounded positive and happy with the fun humor, and then every other thing I've seen from you about them is most pointing out the (very prominent, very not-good) flaws with them.
fair question! I had a Journey with the Fence novels and it was hellish. First, please keep in mind that I am unhealthily fixated on Fence and that does impact things all along the way.
When Striking Distance was announced, I was as excited as anyone, though wary because Pacat was handing it off to someone else to write. Still, I was hopeful--and more hopeful after reading In Other Lands because, despite the disturbing sexism that squicked me tf out, I really enjoyed that book! And so I was very eager to get my hands on Striking Distance. So I went on an absolute quest to get an ARC...and I did! It took a lot of dead ends and desperate tries, but remember that I'm insane. So I got my hands on an advanced copy by emailing the editor assigned to the book (who has since left the position). And as is custom with ARCs, he asked me to send my review when it went live.
Reading Striking Distance was such an experience dude. I wanted to love it as much as I loved the comics--remember that at this point, we only had up to issue 12 and the characterization therein. I love the OG 12 issues, and they'll always hold more sway in my understanding of the characters, but when reading SD, it was very clear that I'd read the entire comic completely fucking wrong. Remember my unhealthy obsession? Yeah. Trying to come to terms with Fence being something so opposite of everything I really loved about it and the fact that my reading of it was so wrong was really hard--like mental breakdowns level of hard. I wish I was joking. But I tried to force myself to love the reality of Fence anyway, despite kind of hating the novel, which I absolutely would not admit to myself because disliking any part of Fence felt like SUCH a betrayal to it, and I really really really didn't want to hate the characters I'd spent so much time bringing to life in my mind, because selfishly I didn't want to have to divorce my idea of the characters from canon, I just wanted to be able to love the canon characters and add onto them a little the way I'd been able to with the comics up until that point. So especially right after reading Striking Distance, I was insistent on liking it, and even as I slowly started to acknowledge that there were parts of it that made me want to scratch off my skin they made me so uncomfortable (see: the steak scene), I was really hell-bent on understating my dislike/criticism of it.
So when I went to write my review for Striking Distance to send to the really nice editor who sent me the ARC, I didn't want to betray Fence, I hadn't really processed my issues with it (and was--and honestly still am to an extent--worried that I was just being an entitled baby because my stupid fanfictions/interpretations were so fucking wrong), I didn't want to upset or hurt the feelings of the man who did me this HUGE favor, and because I wanted a chance to get an early copy of a possible sequel (because hating the novels didn't lesson my Need for early access to them. i know I'm unwell about fence jdhfa), I pulled out all the nicest thoughts I had about Striking Distance, exaggerated them and stretched them and sugar-coated everything else to provide a review that was nice and non-hostile.
Obviously, the longer I sat with Striking Distance and processed some things about it and about me, the more I started picking apart all the aspects that I hated and found I was able to produce reasons for each piece I disliked and was also able to pinpoint in the OG comics where I got all the pieces of the stories and characters I loved. So I did have to divorce my idea of Fence from canon if I wanted to keep loving Fence. And when I decided to keep loving Fence for all the reasons I used to instead of feel sick looking at/thinking about the franchise and characters, I was sort of free of the things holding me back from speaking about the things I didn't like, and so I started to analyze and essay and post about the novels and my untangled, truthful thoughts about them.
So I don't like the novels--there are maybe 3-4 things total that passed the vibe-check for me in both novels. I never liked the novels, and I lied about liking Striking Distance...but I was lying to myself about that one as much as anyone. And I haven't changed that review because, at the time, that was where my feelings were about it. So up it stays.
Here’s my fun little list of some of the places I've explained my dislike of the novels if you're curious, but yeah these are the real thoughts, the SD review was a carefully crafted lie <3
My full review of Disarmed
Autism representation in Seiji
Seiji in general
Eugene
Eugesse as a concept in Disarmed
Eugesse interactions in Disarmed
Nick's bisexuality
Coach Williams and sexual harassment
#jackshit#jacksalt#thanks for the ask!💜#my reaction to and the impact on my mental health from SD was in fact so deranged and unhealthy that it's a huge factor#of what pushed me to pursue professional help and diagnosis to understand and cope with my emotions#it did not take long for them to clock the autism and bipolar#anyway i did get on mood stabilizers and have an explanation for why I'm like this#unfortunately it does not make me any LESS like this#and so i am feral about fence and it is not always in a good and healthy way <3#i am aware my negativity about the novels is upsetting to people but genuinely if i DONT hate the novels#i have to hate Fence itself#and fence is one of the reasons I'm still chugging along so i cant afford to lose it XD#fence novels#disarmed negative#fun fact this is the first time i took a break from fence to write an OG novel instead with an idea id planned for a fic#because if the characters in my head arent actually fence characters then i might as well write original fiction for my ocs#and that was good because it gave me the distance i needed (which is funny because by distance i mean that i was writing my novel side#by side with promised things lmfao) AND also proved to me that i love writing for fence too much to leave it and i hated the novel too much#to accept it as canon#so i packed up my ocs back into my little kerchief on my little stick and marched back over to ao3 and kept writing about them#as if they're fence characters#so to the people still with me at this point know that i love you and your readership means everything to me <3#fence comic
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think it’s really funny to imagine the younger men of the 141 realizing that price is actually super good with women.
soap plays knight- shows off to gawking birds, kyle’s pretty boy eyes and sharp tongue garner plenty of attention, and all simon needs to do is sit in the middle of the bar, waiting till a sweet thing asks him ‘what a big man like him is doing alone?’
price isn’t as engaged. let’s his boys have fun, but for the most part prefers to hang back. enjoy his liquor and cigarettes- let them do their thing. course, doesn’t go unnoticed. which spurs their assumption it’s not a ‘he wont’ and instead a ‘he cant’.
“‘fraid they might not like you, capm’?”
“aye gaz, play nice. ye know ta old man’s sensitive.”
“lost his spark, i reckon.”
they rib him for weeks on end about being an old man, no game, out of his prime, ect ect. it’s all light and fun of course, and combat keeps them busy enough that the jokes start to be forgotten. doesn’t occur to them that price has just been biting his tongue since the first blow.
until- night off. pub lights, tallboys and pretty women. familiar scene, type of place that has been in nasty dreams for weeks. kyle and soap are assessing the room, and simon’s silently following along. it takes them a minute to realize they’re captain is gone- but not 10 seconds to find him again- with a sweet, gorgeous bird on his arm by the bar.
silently, they watch as he effortlessly charms her. they count how many times she laughs, how eager she is to hold his arm, how, within in minutes, they’re already cozied up on a booth, nursing beer and making eyes.
and why wouldn’t she? classically handsome, mature, cute smile, a rugged exterior with a gentle execution. it’s a no-brainer for her when he offers to ‘get out of here’, and hold the muscles that breech from his shirt. doesn’t catch the way he glances over to a corner of the pub as they make their leave, small smile tugging at the burs of his mustache as he clocks the shock of his men’s faces under low lighting.
soap and kyle’s jaw break, meanwhile simon lets out a barking laugh.
“old man’s still got it.”
needless to say, all three men said nothing about losing his charm at the next debrief.
#might do a follow up on this#just a bird who likes older men has no idea what she’s up for#fucks you silly to :(#captain john price x you#captian price#captain john price x reader#captain johnathan price#captain john price#john price x reader#john price cod#john price#john price x you#johnny soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#simon ghost riley#spurbleu✴︎‧︎⁎︎drabbles
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#im rly mad at myself bc i was gonna go to a local queer art hang yesterday#but got halfway to the bus stop and had a full blown panic attack#and had to give up and go home#i know why it happened its bc i had a drs appt earlier in the day that went rly badly and i was already an emotional wreck#but i was rly hoping to make it to that event so i could cheer myself up and make some good good queer connections#but i freaked out instead and had to sit on a curb while i shook like a fuckin chihuahua#and now there's only 1 hang left this summer before it stops which i Will make myself go to no matter what#but still#im just. rly upset bc i wanted to go#i know some of the folks who attend and they're all rly fun and it would've been nice to see them and chill w them again#and im just. very fuckin upset idk#im Disappointed in myself and i Know i shouldnt be but i fucking am#im so stupid mad at mysslf for never being able to handle fucking anything#even when its something i rly rly wanna do#like#its just. getting to the point of devastating#i lost a lot of friends thru covid and my homelessness-mental breakdown-isolation-hospitalization years#and the few i still have r gr8 but i dont rly get to see them often#and i'd like to see them more often but ofc i cant make myself ask that bc oh look another impending panic attack#jfc im just. so done w my brain. i h8 living inside this stupid thing so fucking much its literal hell#I MISS MY FRIENDS#I MISS HAVING COMMUNITY#I FEEL ALONE ALL THE FUCKING TIME#see i can scream that into the internet void just fuckin fine but cant even reach out to ppl to be like 'hey. been a while. sup?'#just. UGHHSHSJSJ#like ya my agoraphobia is 10x worse since i got transphobically assaulted this month but like#even when its not for that reason i am still an anxious MESS all the time#and that shitty drs appt? was a psychiatrist telling me he refuses to prescribe me anxiety meds bc he doesnt trust me on them#and that im too dependent on them to cope/function. ummm. YA MY GUY THATS WHAT THEYRE FOR ??? TF ????#now that im off them i cant be in public w/o hyperventilating. fuck rite off dude i'll find a diff dr to renew the script who isnt a jackass
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i need jealous possessive subby gyu😭😭 like omg need him so toxic, needy, and clingy🙂↕️
warnings: a bit toxic, clingy and needy sub but whats new :P
irrationally jealous!beomgyu that cant even stand you going out with friends without blowing up your phone, trying to put a balm on his growing anxiety by asking whos there with you. then when you respond and he recognizes male names, he gets even more antsy. give it time before he texts you again, his fingers flying across the screen as he types out a message.
ohhh ok. are you having fun? :)
then again.
still really wish you were here with me insteadddd its so boring without you
he chews on his bottom lip, the seconds ticking by with agonizing slowness. god, just respond, he thinks, fingers twitching as he waits. then he succumbs to sending another text.
come home soon okay? miss you :3
then another, and another…and another.
after sending a few more texts, minutes go by with no response, and so he flops down onto his bed, his thoughts spiraling as he stares at the ceiling, trying to convince himself that he’s just overreacting. but the more he thinks about it, the worse it gets. why aren’t you replying?
beomgyu isn't possessive, he isn't, really...right? so why can't he seem to get rid of the reckless idea that just popped up in his head?
instead, like a magnet he reaches for his phone again, this time switching to the camera. when he sets it to video mode, all thats on his mind is getting your attention. thats it, nothing more. just your attention.
you're out with your friends at a bar, it was meant to be a girls night but you guys bumped into old college friends so it turned into something way bigger than intended. you've been trying to enjoy yourself, not seem too absorbed in your phone but when you can feel the vibrations of your phone buzzing every three minutes in your back pocket, its practically impossible to ignore. you know who it is.
any other person would've shut their phone down or at the least put it on dnd, but here you were, locking yourself in a bathroom stall after excusing yourself, pulling out your phone only to be met with the most obvious strings of messages from one singular contact name: beomgyu.
the first one after you passively replied was innocent enough, but then you see skim past the next ones:
how long are you gonna be out?
is it loud there? can you even see this? I miss you, baby
the last one really sticks out:
are you ignoring me?
you frown, but before you could finish typing out a text, a video pops up from him. you pause. you hesitate for just a second before tapping play, and instantly, you realize exactly why the thumbnail was so blurry.
the video’s a little shaky at first but eventually it steadies enough for you to realize hes on your shared bed—his hair's all messed up, sticking out in random directions, and his lips are parted as he breathes heavily. you can barely make out the details because of how grainy the video is, but you can still hear him. your brows furrow deeper…this can’t be…what you think it is, right?
and like hes heard your thoughts, he lets out this quiet moan, the camera dipping a bit, like he almost forgot he was holding it, revealing exactly what you conjured up in your head; a clear view of his hand buried under the waistband of his shorts, half-hard— leaving absolutely no room for imagination.
“i've been thinking about you all night, baby. couldn't help it... had to touch myself, thinking about you..." he trails off. you can see his fingers moving under the fabric, slow and lazy, dragging it out like he’s savoring every fucking second.
when his hand clearly starts to move a little faster, his eyes fluttering shut as he loses himself in the feeling. "wish you were here, wish it was your hand instead. fuck, it's not enough..."
his lips part again, and you can hear the faintest whimper escape him, the sound making you bite the inside of your cheeks. and it’s so quiet, so breathy, that you bring the phone closer to your ear without thinking, embarrassingly desperate to hear more. it’s enough to make you press your thighs together, trying to ease the ache building there.
but you can't seem to tear your eyes away for long as he shifts slightly, his hips arching up a little more, his movements becoming more erratic. and when you hear him whisper your name—over and over, like he's pleading, like he's praying-your throat goes dry, and your hands start to tremble.
“look at me, baby, look how fucking hard you make me. this is all your fault,” you hear his panting get louder in the background, matching the pace hes palming at his cock.
then he lets out this cute, frustrated whine, almost a little whimper, when the camera slips again.
he messes with his phone a bit, like he's trying to figure out if you can see everything all while he keeps working himself, the slick sounds of him jerking off growing more erratic by the second.. then, you catch the way his shirt rides up and thats what does it for you.
if this is what he wanted to achieve then he did it because you really, really want to get home to him as fast as you can just to pull that shirt up the rest of the way and trace the lines of his stomach with your fingers, to feel that little pink gem that pierces his belly button against your palm.
you wet your lips nervously, shaking your leg, hunched over your phone— he was so effortlessly pretty. his muscles are just barely visible and the subtle lines of his abs tense then relaxing with each shaky breath he takes in.
"you just had to go out tonight, didn’t you?" his voice is suddenly low and husky, a sulky edge to it that makes you narrow your eyes. is that what this is about?
“left me here all alone, like i don’t even matter, like you don’t care how bad i need you.” he huffs, a frustrated little sound that’s almost drowned out by the rustling of the sheets as he squirms on the bed, trying—and failing—to keep the camera from shaking. “wish you were here, going fucking crazy without you—ngh-”
you hear a swallow, and its like hes trying to keep his moans in check—you chew harder on your bottom lip. a part of you is worried that he genuinely believes that he doesnt matter to you, but the other part of you, the hornier one, is completely consumed in the shitty, low quality video to even care.
“please, just come home to me, please… i need you so bad—m’yours, all y-yours..” you notice his words are starting to become slurred, and your thighs rub together almost unconsciously in realization, trying to relieve some of the pressure building up inside you. you know hes playing on you weakness, and hes got you where he wants you.
god, i’m so fucked, you think, but you can’t stop.
firstly, it wasn’t fair, what he was asking of you—you’ve been using up all your time with him and the second you do something for you, he acts up? and you’re also a little frustrated at the fact that hes not letting you see his pretty dick in full—hes very clearly pushing you to the edge, holding back, waiting for something—for you. you think as if hes imagining your voice telling him what to do, instructing him to keep it at hold.
because how else is he not cumming already?
you know you should stop, should put the phone down, but you just can’t. you’re too hooked, too caught up in how fucking pretty he looked, how desperately he was begging for you. he knew exactly how to get to you.
“please, baby, please,” he whined, his voice getting high-pitched, his hips thrusting up into his fist. “need to cum so bad… fuck, i-"
in a panic, you click your phone shut, the screen going dark in an instant when you recognize the sound of the bathroom door creak open.
“hey, you okay in there?” the voice is familiar, and relief washes over you when you realize it’s one of your friends. at least it’s not a stranger.
“yeah!” you blurt out, probably a little too loud. you cringe at the sound of your own voice, trying to sound more casual. “i’m fine! just… just need a minute!”
you try to keep your breathing steady, praying she doesn’t push any further.
“okay, just checking!” she finally responds. you let out a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding.
you listen carefully as her footsteps retreat, the door creaking open and closing behind her as she leaves. you quickly open your phone back up, your fingers still shaking as you pulled up your messages. you tell yourself you won’t watch the rest—you need to have some control, especially when your underwear is already embarrassingly wet.
what are you doing?
…is all you could muster up as a text.
you barely have to wait. the three little dots appear almost immediately.
miss you so much... just wanted your attention : (
before you can even think of a response, another message pops up— one that has your brain go blank again.
did it make you miss me?
note: dont know if this was exactly what you were looking for but ive been meaning to write a scene like this for soo long and i feel like toxic needy gyu works just perfect for this haha anywayyy send some more sub txt stuff i live for it
#txt smut#beomgyu smut#txt hard hours#txt hard thoughts#sub!idol#✶ ━━ rana ; answered#🌷. rana thoughts#sub!beomgyu
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hiii pookie I LOVED your hybrid post like it got me foaming from the mouth ngl 🫶 you're so talented!!
If you're into it, can we get cowhybrid! reader and Farmer!Gojo specifically please and thank you? I need to see the reader all needy and desperate and Gojo being the only one who can truly give her release and and what she truly needs (feel free to remix or add anyone/anything that you please)
If you're not into it, please ignore this ask instead of refusing because I get embarrassed hihi🎀🫶 anyways mwah mwah love u take care pookie
ANOTHER TRY?
Notes: THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENTS IM GLAD YOU ENJOYED MY WORK!!! and to the second ask I’m very happy you requested that bull!hybrid work lLOVEDDD WORKING ON IT!! You guys are so creative I need to eat ur brain!!! THIS IS FOR ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN ASKING FOR A PT2 I SEE YOU GUYS!!! (IF UR READING THIS TO MY OTHER INBOX OFC YOU CAN BE 🪬 ANON!!)
Pairings: CowHybrid!Reader x Farmer!Gojo
Warnings: Lactation + big!boobedReader + implied chubby!reader + nipplesucking + grinding + mean!Satoru + pussy!slapping + teasing.
Gojo has spoiled you for far too long it makes his blood boil and temples wrinkle when you continue to go see Toji and Suguru, it becomes a habit for you to come back in the early mornings after having a night of “fun.”
Confronting said men proved to be so fucking useless, they just laughed in his face when he said he’d kick both of them to the curb should they continue to corrupt you.
“You need us Satoru, why are you allowed to have your nightly routines but she cant? It was gonna happen eventually.” Tojis face was decorated with a fat sneer, all those times he tried to make sure you stayed as far as possible were all for naught, it’s hilarious seeing him seething behind a cool facade.
“Never knew what Toji seen in the woman but now I completely understand his point.” Suguru yelled from where he was transporting some wood.
Talking to them proved to be useless, as a little payback he made them clean the shed from top to bottom.
Trudging back to the main house in his thick boots Satoru comes to face you relaxing on the couch without a damn care in the world.
Why is he trying to get them to be on his level when he should be punishing you, you’re the one who didn’t listen, you’re the one sneaking out every night. He doesn’t know why he feels this hold on you, you’re such a beautiful girl that he can’t help but keep you in this small bubble.
When your eyes land on him you don’t say any kind of greeting, simply ignoring his presence for the movie on the huge ass tv he bought for you and eating the expensive food he bought for you.
You look extremely good right now, your fat boobs not swollen, but your pretty lips are. Satoru won’t say it but his pants tighten at the thought of what they do to you.
He needs you right now, he’ll make it up to you as much as he can.
He approaches you calmly and collected, sitting down at the edge of the couch where your legs are propped up, you still don’t acknowledge him. His trained hands start circling on your soft supple skin, you surprisingly don’t push him away. You give Satoru an inch he’ll take a mile.
He starts groping your thighs, the pudgy things hold within the creases of his hand. He pushes your thighs apart and gets a good look at your panties: you always choose to walk around the house like this.
They’re extra tight the way they emphasize your fat pussy, the groan that slips from his lips aren’t-something he tries to hold back, he needs you to know how much he wants you, especially wants you all to himself.
The rise and fall of your chest makes you look so cute, why are you so shy all of a sudden? You’re averting your eyes as well.
Satoru starts teasing your clothed folds, dragging his thick finger up and down, he pushes extra hard on your clit eliciting a small moan from you. He continues this for a little, he needs you wet to take him properly.
He peels off your soddened panties and positions himself above you, finally face to face with you. Your boobs are the first thing he attacks, pulling on your shirt and letting them spill out, the little droplets of milk call to him. He’s grabbing one and putting it into his mouth: he loves your taste so sweet like honey as it cascades down his throat so smoothly.
“Nghm… Toru..” finally you’ve decided to grace him with your sultry voice.
He bites down a little on your nipple making you jump away. He reels you right back in and sucks even harsher, there’s barely any milk left but he’s going to make sure he gets his full.
“Toru.” You call his name so panicked and yet you’re grinding against his fully hard cock. He’s so desperate in the moment that he unbuckles his belt and lets his cock bob free.
His fat tip prods agaisnt your folds, messing with your sticky wetness, he smears it on his tip even grinding down on your clit, but he doesn’t put it in, you don’t deserve that.
He teases you, pretending he’s going to give you what you want just to take it all away.
“Please…” a harsh and loud smack is delivered straight to your clit, you yelp and buckle your legs closed.
“Shirt, take your shirt off.” He commands, of course you’re gonna listen, Satoru has never taken that tone with you.
Your boobs now freely spill for him to gaze at. He spreads your legs back open.
“I’m gonna give you ten slaps, close your legs for even one I’m restarting. Understood?” You nod and your ears move along with it. He likes this look on your face: confusion, arousal and a little bit of fear.
On the first slap you make the mistake of shutting your legs closed: completely an accident but he’s having none of it, he hits your little clit again and again.
“Ahn..” you’re still so fucking wet by the sixth slap, creating a nasty mess that drips to your ass. Gojo’s cock is still throbbing, he jerks himself off, smearing his pre all over.
By the tenth slap you’re gone, completely dazed and only able to whine outloud, he decides that you’ve had enough with the tears that sit on your eye line. He pushes your legs back and lines his weeping tip. The feeling of sliding into your sopping wet cunt is better than any pussy he’s ever had.
His strokes against you are fast even though he should be letting you adjust, the sounds of skin against skin meeting each other is downright lewd.
He tells you to rub your nipples, it adds so much more stimulation that you can’t find it in you to hate it.
His cock drags agaisnt your walls over and over, till you can’t feel anything but the sensitivity of your nipples and the twitching of his fat cock.
He fucks you like that all night, even when you’re meant to meet Toji and Suguru, you can’t stop creaming around farmer Gojos length and nor do you want to.
#🪬 AnonZ#zsworks#fem reader#gojo x reader#jjk x reader#gojo smut#gojo x female reader#gojo satoru x reader#jujutsu gojo#cowhybrid!reader#cow hybrid#hybrid reader#jjk gojo#gojou satoru x reader#gojo satoru#gojo x you#satoru x female reader#satoru gojō x reader#satoru x reader#satoru x you#gojo saturo#satoru smut#satoru jjk#jjk satoru#jjk x fem!reader#jjk x hybrid reader#jjk smut
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random astro observations part 13.✨
✨just for fun im just talking random ass shit based on PERSONALL observations..✨
PART TWELVE. 📀
virgo risings and people getting intimidated by the way they speak (scorpio 3rd house). But then when you get know and befriend them theyre so sweet (pisces 7h, cancer 11h). My virgo rising bestie & when i first met her in college she was speaking in class and i was like woah shes smart asf and intense 😭
or sag risings and them speaking to people in a direct yet still obscure manner! or sometimes even cold in a sense.. like girl what do u really mean fr 🤨 (aqua 3h). But then you get closer with them and they love to chat with you (gemini 7h) and make anytime u hang out a pleasant and nice time (libra 11h). my sag rising friend throws the best parties (going all out with the decor, presentation of food, having a theme & ofc taking nice pics after… real libra 11h shit).
taurus risings and them communicating in a very soft, comforting manner (cancer 3h) and as you get closer you notice their intensity in their relationships with people (scorpio 7h) and their giving, helpful nature in their friendships (pisces 11h).
another thing about taurus risings, you can bet they are getting FREAKYYY with their partner with that scorpio 7h 😭they are very private with their relationships and rarely reveal personal details about it unless they trust you. my taurus rising cousin and she never shares anything about her bf (whats mine is mine you dont need to worry about it) energy. and she also has mentioned she doesnt need to give ppl a reason to try to found out for themselves what a great time shes having lmfaooo
also my taurus rising coworkers and one time we all went out for drinks and one of our coworkers was complaining about how women always have a shit time when having seggs with men and my taurus rising coworker was like “wellppp cant relate.”.. and i oop 🙈
the 2nd house rules the vocal chords and as an aries 2h sometimes when im excited or even mad i sound like a 12 year old 😭 like naruto when hes giving one of his NEVER GIVE UP NEVER BACK DOWNNN speech. I also feel like if you have scorpio or aries 2h people always think you're mad and want you to "calm down" when you talk. like no im not mad have you ever heard of being fucking passionate? hmmm?
In general, aries placements could also find they get a lot of patronizing comments or aries women could even find that men often try to "mainsplain" them. just bc aries are being assertive doesnt mean theyre being reckless or not seeing the big picture.. its all a balance. Aries DOES have this youthful /bold energy, but that doesnt mean they cant be wise people who prefer to learn by doing, even if others mistake their approach for inexperience..
we know plutonians can be seen as having this “abrasive” energy to other people. it can throw them off or make them be like “oh i dont like them.” but pluto doms recognize other plutonian people its that silent understand lmaooo its giving "real recognize real😎 " overall tho pluto dom ppl try to give others the benefit of the doubt (not necessarily bc they like them but just bc they wanna feel the energy on their own). like if people are talking shit about someone pluto doms might sit back and stay silent about it. they do their digging on their own. theyre not gonna let the crowd influence how they feel about someone. plutonians will be DOING THEIR DIGGING FIRST no matter what.
I remember a time when my cousin, who’s a Scorpio rising, asked me if I liked one of her friends (not in a romantic way). I said, 'Yeah, why?' and she replied, 'Oh, just asking because she said she feels like you don’t like her, but I knew she was overthinking it.'" We moved on from the conversation, but later, I realized that was such a typical Scorpio rising move. Instead of just telling me, 'Hey, my friend feels like you don’t like her,' she asked me that question first to confirm or deny it. I felt like she did that on purpose to make it harder for me to lie, even though I wouldn’t have lied in the first place. It annoyed me because, like, why would I lie about something like that??? But then I understood it’s just her nature. Scorpio risings ask questions in a detective ass way because they want to dig for the truth and feel out people’s responses.
plutonians and scorpios do that shit all the time, tilting their heads like little cats, squinting, being all like "oh..hmm, why do you think that?" like no im about to do this shit with u rn sherlock fuckin JONES u know WHYYY
in my moon aspects post ppl asked me if it still applied with “harminous aspects” and yes. it still does. just bc u think its easier doesnt negate the energy. for ex i have moon trine neptune and my mom (moon) has always been in her own world (neptune). and other family members find her energy “endearing” or ask me to “be kinder to her” but its also hard when your mom often times cares more about the world of what ifs in her head more than the real world with her daughter ... also my moms way of coping (moon) at times would literally be by saying in front of the family as soon she got home that she hates her life and wish she could “grow wings and be somewhere far away from everyone ” like delulu was always the solution for her 😭….
but also i wonder if people with moon-neptune placements feel confused (neptune) about motherhood (moon) in general. i use to say i didn't want kids but as ive gotten older i do like the idea of it. it just feels very....… [static noises]
nui.views on instagram reminds me of the aries-libra axis so much. Most of her videos have titles like “how to be soft and direct” or “how to balance sharp and soft expressions.” usually titles along those lines. We know theres always time to read the room (libra) but also knowing when its time to stand up or speak up! (aries) and nui.views basically says it’s possible to do both.
12h moons & their moms being their biggest enemyyy is crazy!! 🤨 the passive aggressive behavior, entitlement, hating from the sidelines. AND the expectation of the 12h moon child to “repay” or be “grateful” mother for all they did. my ex had a 12h scorpio moon and brooo anytime they got a good thing, mom would make it all about her (for ex they bought a new car, mom was LIVIDDDDD). the moon can show how mom takes advantage. for ex: scorpio moon in the 12h and mom (moon) is possessive about the resources (scorpio) you have or over you in general. taurus moon and mom (moon) is possessive about your money (taurus) or maybe even holds over your head that “she feeds you.” i have a coworker with a 12h taurus moon and her mom constantly borrows money from her or literally steals it and never pays it back. capricorn moon and mom may feel like your accomplishments belong to her or “you wouldn’t be successful without all i did” energy.
^ their can be a lot of enmeshment with the mom with this placement (especially if their is a moon-pluto aspect) but its something the 12h moon person has to decide to sever or break from on their own and on their own time. this placement has to deal with the “mother always knows best😊😊😊😊” energy
12th house Moon women and other women (Moon) being their hidden enemies (12th house) is so real! I remember at my old job, one of my coworkers had a 12th house Aquarius Moon, and all the women would talk so much shit about her behind her back. (To be fair, she wasn’t doing her job well, but their comments were just unnecessarily nasty.) I used to feel bad for her in meetings because everyone would act normal to her face. I wasn’t at that job long… With this placement, it's common for other women (whether friends, family, or acquaintances) to secretly harbor resentment, jealousy, or animosity that isn’t obvious on the surface. Plus, with 12th house placements, if the person is genuinely doing something wrong or needs feedback, instead of being honest, people often use that as an excuse to bring up unrelated complaints or things they don’t like, turning it into something bigger than it is!! Like girl how did you go from talking about her customer service skills to talking about her haircut be fr!
how do you guys feel about people who plan their pregnancies to get a sign/ birth chart they are compatible with for their child? not gonna lie I use to think that shit was crazy but then I think about the 12h synastry and squares I have with my mom and im like... this shii couldve been way cuter...
gemini placements are the people that wake up in the middle of the night to google a random fact. its a itch they gotta scratch 😭 me with my chart ruler gemini jupiter in the 3h. trying to do type a paper for a class in one sitting? well no i got sidetracked reading about how to defend yourself against bear attacks which led me to bear survival stories on reddit which led me to reading about polar bears which led me to finding an article about the farmer that got attacked and eaten by his own hog named teddy and then… boom . its 3am.
Its so hard though like we know the "jack of all trades" label that comes with mercurial energy but damn what if I just wanna be a jack of one trade and be really good at that one thing? I bounce around from thing to thing because im always getting these diff ideas but im really working on finishing something once I start it. its just hard.... sometimes I b having a lot to yap about, ya know? (ive had many diff hobbies, writing fan-fiction, painting, making candles, crocheting, LMAOOO its just chaos sometimes)
sometimes aspects can be very literal. im spilling some family tea sorry tia but for ex my aunt has venus conjuct pluto in the 10th house and her relationships (venus) are known for (10h) being taboo or just frowned upon (10h). She dated her besties ex-husband and it caused A LOT OF drama and then he fucking died bro...like?? Being known for (10h) her lovers (venus) dying (pluto)?????? im not trying to be a judgmental asshole but also its so disappointing though when people use aspects like this for evil? fucking ur besties man as soon as they get divorced? with that venus-pluto in the 10h she could've found herself a successful ass business man!
my bestie is a teacher and she was telling me about how the kids were sharing about what they wanna be when they grow up and when it got to this one girls turn she said she wanted to be a basketball player or some shit like that (the point is it was a very 5th grade response similar to her peers) but then like the kids started clapping when she said hers??? LMAOOOO and to me that is the most sun-venus SHIT EVER. and then she told me all the the 5th grade tea, how some of the boys have a crush on her haha. shes admired and well liked (venus) just for being who she is (sun)!
moon-venus is different. my experience with venus-moon aspect has consisted of women always feeling comfortable enough to confide me, me feeling more comfy with women around, children loving me, children in my family venting to me (im that one cousin the babies reach out to first to get picked up ejeje). the moon is about the inner self, privacy, and our home life. A moon-venus person might be very well-liked, but often in a more low-key, intimate way. They're the type of person you confide in or feel safe with, rather than someone who shines in the spotlight or dominates a social scene the way a sun-venus person would. both aspects make a person likable, but in different way. sun-venus is more about being confident and noticeable, while moon-venus is more about being caring and emotionally connected with others.
btw doing personalized astro observations in the style of the way i usually write my random ones but instead based on your birth chart 😙🥰
#astro observations#astrology notes#astrology observations#random astro note#random astro#rxmxa#mars#aries#pluto#scorpio rising#sun-venus#moon-venus#virgo rising#saggitarius#gemini#12th house moon#astro notes
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Platonic Yandere Jason w/ Batsis darling
A/N: This is supposed to be post death and all that.. Like he's just trying to integrate back into his family and society but it's been hell. His batsis is the one thing that is actually helping him through it thus becoming over attached. He's obsessed with being normal again..for you. (Any Jason Todd)
Warnings: Rather soft yandere actually. but i guess obsession and possessive tendencies.
Requests: always open. please read pinned post which is the masterlist
Masterlist
Yandere Jason Todd who finds an immeasurable amount of comfort and stability in his Batsis. He doesn't particularly understands or even knows why he does but he does.
He still feels awkward and out of place with the rest of batfam. He feels anxious, judged and annoyed around them. It overwhelms him and stresses him to the point of mental breaks. But you ground him. You don't make sudden movements or loud sounds. You don't ask invasive questions or bring up past memories. You're gentle and mindful of him.
The others try bonding but they never fail to eventually overstep boundaries and cause more wounds. He's appreciative of you.
Yandere Jason who cannot help but get possessive over you. He hates when his other siblings command your attention over his. It boils him. I like to think he's constantly comparing himself to them. How normal and fun they are in contrast. He wants to be just like them and do fun things again...but he just cant...not yet. He especially despises Dick and just how pretty and perfect his older brother is. This often causes fights between the two. You and him have tons of inside jokes, secret handshakes and hangouts often. Jay wants that too.
Jason is fearful of going in public with you. He's been craving that local diner spot and love to treat you as a thank you but he doesn't want the stares. He's riddled with scars and looms over everything. He really don’t want his sis to be ridiculed and questioned on his behalf.
Jay tries his best to keep you locked in the house with him. He tries pulling you away from them as much as possible but he feels guilty. This is a miserable life and he doesn't want that was misery on you too, but he just cannot bear you being with them instead. Sometimes he'll offer to sneak out late at night and hang on rooftops with you, but he knows it's nothing compared to the arcades and parties you're missing out on.
He does try very hard to come out of his shell on your birthdays or times like Christmas ect.. He wants to be a good brother and give back how kind you've been towards him. Whatever will make you happy, he'll power through it.
Yandere Redhood who goes after the people that make you cry or feel unsafe. He knows what he promised Bruce but it's to keep is sibling safe. Bruce would understand if he went through even half of the traumatic experiences he did. You have to cut off potential threats at the roots. That's how you prevent lunatics like the joker and to keep souls like you pure.
Yandere Jason Todd who is adorably obsessed with your room. He hasn't done much decorating to his. It's boring and bland, he doesn't remember much of what he liked as a kid before everything happened. But yours is covered in personality. Books, figures, plushies and tons of posters...it's cute. He likes it a lot. Sometimes he just sits in there, even when you're not home because it makes him feel nostalgic? In a good way, it gives him a warm glimpse into what his life could've been as a teen/young adult. Plus it's filled with all the things you love which by default he loves it too. I like to think he steals trinkets from your room that you love the most when he's anxious.
Like you've come home before to him in the corner of his room with one of your big plushies in his arms during an episode. It smells like you it grounds him back into reality. Whatever he's seeing in his head isn't real, but you are. You signify safety.
Yandere Jason who mimics anything you do to learn how to act normal. He doesn't mean to but he spends so much time either with you or lurking near by. Your food options are a major thing is copies. He's often overwhelmed by the many choices in store so when he's hungry, he'll just pick up anything he's remembered you eating. Even if he didn’t like it much.
He doesn't realizes these habits are a bit strange. enviably, one of the other siblings poke fun at him for how his face scrunches up at the taste of your favorite snack. They laughed how he should just get things he likes instead of trying to copy you all the time. They weren't trying to be cruel, just playing like siblings do but it made his world crumble. Was that really strange? Jason didn't mean to make you feel weird. Did you feel weirded out by it, have you been telling the other siblings how bothered you were by his antics?
"Jason, its okay. It's seriously not a big deal, it's slightly odd but i don't mind." You tried reassuring him but it just confirmed his thoughts.
You did think it was weird. That he was weird. You laugh about him behind his back all the time, don’t you?
He knows he's a bit off the drum. He knows he's an embarrassment but a deluded part of him thought maybe the difference wasn't as big as he made it out to be. It was just paranoia. guess..not. He's shattered. His one safe space wasn't real. He wasn’t good enough like the others….yet.
Yandere Jason has to become like a normal brother for you. He needs to be like Dick and Tim. He needs you to think he's cool and fun to be around. He needs to be a good brother...one you're not weirded out by.
#headcanon#imagines#oneshot#x reader#yandere imagines#yandere headcanons#yandere jason todd#jason todd imagine#jason todd headcanon#batfam headcanons#yandere batfam#yandere dick grayson#yandere red hood#yandere batfamily x reader#yandere batboys#dark batfamily#platonic yandere#platonic relationships#yandere nightwing#yandere batman#batman x reader#dcu#dc comics
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cock warming w/jongho
words - 🫣
genre - fluff, nsfw
warnings - cockwarming, dom!jongho, sub!reader, kind of non-sexual intimacy (cockwarming but not necessarily horny), a single spank, praise, guidance, it’s just very cute
you cant convince me that jongho doesn’t absolutely love cockwarming. like there’s just something about the intimacy of it that really gets him going. mix that with the casual dominance of it all - him pinning you down with a strong arm, spanking your thigh if you begin to grow restless, mumbling sweet nothings into your ear as you lay your chest against his in a dizzy haze - and he’s going practically insane.
it’s movie night, just you and him, and for some unknown reason he decided to use that feature of netflix that picks a random film for you
of course, after 4 or 5 tries, it lands on nothing good (because it never does) and the two of you decide to settle for whatever random film it decided on
it starts off with you two making fun of the poor editing and direction of the film, picking at all the plot holes until you were both giggling incessantly
that little game lasted a while, but it didn’t take long for it to become boring and the two of you were plunged into a comfortable silence once more
until, of course, a sex scene!
in the grand scheme of things, it had no relation to the film whatsoever and was quite frankly incredibly poorly made
like you don’t know who those moans were coming from, but they didn’t match up with the mouths of either of the actors
but just as you were about to make fun of it to jongho, you noticed a little something of his lap
well, more like a big something, and you couldn’t help but gasp
“this is making you hard?” you scrutinise, eyes narrowing as you pull them away from the tent in his pants to instead look at his face
you expected him to be embarrassed or ashamed, but he wore a stoic expression as he shushed you
again, you gasped and sat up from the position you were in, leant up against him
“first you get hard to the worst sex scene i’ve ever seen, then you shush me?” you scoffed, “just say you hate me, next time.”
you watched as he rolled his eyes, finally tearing his gaze away from the screen to look at you
“i’ve been hard for the last 20 minutes,” he grumbled, “you just didn’t notice so i didn’t say anything.”
oh… that’s weird
it’s not like you’d been doing anything to try and make him hard, and it’s not like the film had even been remotely sexy in any way shape or form
like you’d understand if you were lay there in lingerie, but you were in what you described as your ‘grannie nightie’, curled up against him like you would be on any other night
you frowned
“well, why are you hard?” you asked
“am i not allowed to be?” he replied
it was a fair response, but you still wanted answers
“well there has to be a reason…” you mumbled
“i’m sorry, why don’t you just call the erection police?” his voice was dripping in sarcasm, “hello? 911? yeah, i was being cute around my boyfriend and now he’s hard. come arrest him please!”
at this point the film was just background noise as the two of you went back and forth bickering about his penis of all things…
“wait, your erection is because of me?” you cock your head to the side in confusion
again, your pyjamas were hardly the sexiest thing in the world, unless you’re an 80 year old man and this is the most thigh you’ve seen in years
but jongho wasn’t 80, and he saw your thighs on a daily basis
fuck, he saw a lot more than thigh on most days
“well who else would’ve caused it?” he glanced between you and the screen, “you can’t seriously believe this shit show made me hard?”
“oh,” you mumbled
“yeah, oh…” he rolled his eyes
and you thought that was it for a moment before his hands were on you and you were being tugged onto his lap like you were nothing more than a rag doll
you squeaked in surprise as his strong arms pinned you to his lap, erection digging into your thigh
you squirmed, but the look he gave you quickly stopped you in your tracks
“you want to know why i’m hard?” he mumbled into your ear, a soft smile gracing his lips
he looked so innocent, and you would’ve believed it if it weren’t for the obvious
you nodded
“you’re just too cute, baby,” he chuckled deeply into your ear, the sound heading immediately south, slicking you up a little, “in your cute little nightie, making your cute little comments. sue me for being attracted to you…”
“but that’s not…” you trailed off, “i’m not being sexy, am i?”
“you don’t have to be, baby,” he cooed, “you don’t have to make yourself sexy for me to want you. i want you just as much now as i would any other day.”
“so you want to fuck me because i’m not sexy?”
he scoffed, “i want to be close to you, baby. it’s not the same.”
it sounded the same to you, but still you nodded as if you understood
“want me to take a seat?” you grounded down once and he groaned
his eyes rolled back into his head in pleasure, but just as you were about to do it again he stopped you
“not if you’re not going to be a good girl and sit still for me,” you barely registered the sound of the slap until the stinging sensation spread though your thigh a moment later, “i said i didn’t want to fuck you, and here you are grinding on my dick like you can’t understand basic instructions!”
you stilled at his comment, a frown forming on your face
now you really didn’t get it…
he seemed to notice your sudden change in demeanour and sighed
“i don’t want to fuck you, but that doesn’t mean i don’t want to be inside of you,” he explained slowly, desperate to make you understand, “i just want you to be around me, sweetheart. no expectations, i just want to be close to you.”
oh…
you supposed that made a little sense
with a slightly less confused look, you nodded
you didn’t move though
you misunderstood him before, now you wanted him to guide you through it so you didn’t get it wrong again
luckily for you, jongho took more than a little pride in telling you what to do
it boosted his ego, and he couldn’t deny how sweet you looked when you followed his every instruction
so he gave you a sweet smile before setting his hands on your waist
“straddle me, baby.”
his hands never left your sides as you followed his directions
“good girl,” he praised, making you puff your chest out a little with pride, “now i need you to pull my bottoms down, hm?”
and you did it, because jongho was right - you were his good girl!
you reached your hands down and shuffled back a little to give his dick enough room to spring free
and when it did spring free, you couldn’t help but sit in awe of how pretty it was
you’d seen it before, but you were still shocked at how perfect it was every time you saw it
a decent size lengthwise, but thicker than most
a pretty pink tip that leaked pearlescent precum in little droplets
jongho chuckled
“you done staring, or do you want to take a picture?” your eyes widened and your gaze shot up to his face again.
he wore a wide smirk as you mumbled an apology
“it’s okay, sweetheart,” his thumbs rubbed circles over your sides, “now, can you slip your panties to the side for me? i want you to sit on me…”
and again, you did as he asked because you were good and you wanted to behave for him
so your fingers slid south and pushed the thin cotton to the side (ignoring the way you had to peel them away from your gooey wetness) and you shuffled forwards until your core was hovering above his cock
you slid down slowly, the stretch almost painful but not quite
it took a moment for you to bottom out, his tip snug against your cervix and your thighs resting against his own
the temptation to start bouncing was certainly there, but at the risk of no longer being his good girl, you decided not to
not that you could anyway, not when he brought his arms around you, pinning you to his chest and holding you there like it was just any regular cuddle on any regular day
like his dick wasn’t resting heavily inside of you
like you weren’t so close to disobeying and seeking out your own pleasure
a big hand came up to the back of your head to hold it against his shoulder, fingers lacing themselves in your hair and giving it gentle, rhythmic tugs like he always did when you needed to chill a little
his fingernails scratched against your scalp in a way that was so soothing, it seemed to turn your whole body to jelly
and suddenly, the horny tension that laced itself up within you dissipated like it was never there
well, it wasn’t completely gone - you still had your boyfriends dick in you, after all - but it was duller, more manageable
you moaned as you relaxed into his warmth that surrounded you from every angle possible, and he couldn’t help but let out a chuckle
“do you get it now, honey?” he whispered into your ear, “do you understand what i mean when i say i want you close?”
you just nod
“oh, you’re so precious, baby,” he gave you a particularly tight squeeze with his thick arms, “so good for me, hm? letting me hold you close like this. i expected it to take you longer to settle down, but you’re such a good girl, right? shouldn’t have doubted you, baby…”
his words made your mind cloud over as you sank into the praise that he spoon fed to you
you just lay there with your head on his shoulder, staring up at him like he was your entire universe, eating up every single word he said to you
“love you, bear,” you mumble into his neck
he chuckled
“love you too, honey.”
#ateez x reader#ateez fanfic#ateez oneshot#ateez fluff#ateez scenarios#ateez fic#ateez headcanons#ateez smut#jongho headcannons#jongho x reader#jongho fluff#jongho smut
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watch and learn (part two)
pairing fratboy! rafe cameron x female reader
rating explicit 18+
content warning drug and alcohol use
summary it takes one conversation with your college dorm neighbor to know you won’t get along. rafe is loud, rude, and short-tempered. after he overhears you talking about a disappointing fling, he loses his confidence in his sexual abilities and suggests you start hooking up to both improve your skills in the bedroom. you can’t stand him, but it’s too good of an offer to turn down.
» masterlist
*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*
You’re at the library the next morning, enjoying how quiet campus is on a Saturday. You’re trying to focus on a discussion board you need to respond in, but your mind is elsewhere.
You can’t believe you agreed to Rafe’s idea. But you don’t regret it. He may be a jerk through and through, but he’s surprisingly a really good listener in bed.
You’re pretty sure he gave you the best orgasm you’ve ever had with someone. While it was an awkward challenge guiding him, you realized how liberating it was getting exactly what you wanted instead of quietly hoping the guy you were with knew what to do.
Your phone buzzes and lights up with a text. It’s 9:44 am and the notification is from Rafe.
Rafe: if you ever want practice sucking dick let me know
You flush and instinctually look around to make sure nobody in the barren library can see your screen. You reply: good morning to you too.
You take a second and send another message. The thought of going down on him rouses you. And, of course, the feedback will be helpful.
You: might take you up on that
Rafe: might?
You: might :)
Rafe is lying in bed, nursing a minor hangover. When he thinks about what happened on the other side of the wall in your room last night, he gets turned on all over again.
Feeling you cum around his fingers was fucking amazing. Knowing he did that to you, made you shake like that, was like an achievement. And he wants to keep doing it.
He texts you: we’re having a party on the beach today. bring friends
Rafe’s brand new to the frat, but he has already learned how important it is to invite as many people as he can to events. And if he’s being honest, he really wants to see you again.
You: only if you dont hit on them. i cant subject them to that
He feels his lips quirk up in a smile. When you don’t have a stick up your ass, you’re actually kind of entertaining.
Rafe: wtf why
You: you’re a fuckboy
Rafe: nahh you said i was amazing
You: i said the sex was amazing. and thats only because i told you what to do
Rafe: you can’t take all the credit
You: watch me
Rafe: you’re annoying
You: YOU’RE annoying
You: send me the address and time for the party
He quickly sends you the details.
This is the best idea he’s ever had. No strings attached sex with a hot girl who has zero interest in a relationship and can be brutally honest with him. He gets to fuck and improve his skills. It’s a dream.
Later that afternoon, Rafe watches the setting sun as he hangs out with a couple of his frat brothers in the sand. The party’s slowly starting to fill up, conversations growing in volume over the sound of the waves crashing on the shore.
“We don’t host a lot of parties here,” Blake continues to explain to Rafe.
Blake’s a sophomore legacy and Rafe has slowly realized that he sort of looks up to him. He’s involved in the frat and seems to know everybody.
“It’s ‘cause it’s impossible to get people to pay cover, so we don’t even ask for it,” Blake says.
“No door to do it at,” Sam, another sophomore adds with a laugh. Blake looks back and shakes his head.
“Fun police is here,” he hollers. Rafe turns to see pacing towards the keg next to the same girl he saw you with last night.
His pulse quickens as he takes you in. Your shorts are barely covering anything. Damn.
You glare at Blake as you pick up a red solo cup.
“Kidding,” Blake says. “We were kinda being assholes the other night, weren’t we?”
Your lips twist into a small smile. Rafe isn’t sure why, but he doesn’t like you looking at Blake like that.
He didn’t mention to anyone that you two hooked up last night. No particular reason - it just didn’t come up. But clearly, he’ll have to fill the guys in later. They need to know you’re off limits.
“Thanks for admitting it,” you say, filling up your cup. “Why can’t you be my neighbor?”
You look over at Rafe, whose jaw is clenched. Him and that temper. Admittedly, you’re already kind of sexually frustrated over how good he looks in his tank top, his big biceps exposed.
“Life’s unfair,” Blake replies with a bigger grin. You return it. It makes Rafe’s blood run hot.
“I guess it is,” you say as your friend finishes filling up her cup.
You walk away and Rafe realizes he didn’t exchange a single word with you. The second you’re out of earshot, he leans towards his buddies.
“I’m hooking up with her,” he tells them.
“Your neighbor?” Sam laughs. “Cap. That chick hates you.”
Rafe almost tells him not to call you a chick because of your advice last night. Wow. He really is learning from you.
“Didn’t hate me last night.” He takes a sip of his beer.
“Wait, for real?” Blake asks.
“Yeah.” Rafe loves the confidence high he’s riding right now.
“How was it?” Blake asks.
Rafe decides to lie. Painting it as a boring experience will make his buddies lose any interest they might have in you.
“Fine,” he says casually. Yeah, right. It was incredible.
Rafe watches Blake turn, surely to check you out.
“She’s cute,” Blake mumbles.
“Bro code, man,” Sam says, slapping his friend’s chest. Rafe is kind of relieved he said that.
“Shit, my bad,” Blake says with a chuckle, looking at Rafe. “You like her?”
“Oh - no,” Rafe laughs. “No.”
“Then you wouldn’t mind if I talked to her, right?” Blake says it as more of a statement than a question.
Rafe realizes he shouldn’t care. This whole arrangement is so both of you can get better at sex with other people. He doesn’t know what got into him thinking you owed him loyalty. His impulse to be possessive serves no purpose here.
“Go for it,” Rafe says.
Dusk falls as you stand in a crowd with Liv, your feet sunken into the sand as you drink and chat.
You told her about your arrangement with Rafe and were surprised to hear how jealous she was, mentioning how rare it is to find a guy who cares about giving his girl an orgasm.
You had to clarify to her it’s because Rafe’s ego needs all the stroking it can get, especially in the bedroom. And that you are not his girl.
You know it’s a crazy situation to be in with someone, but it’s worth it. You’ll learn what you can from him, and he’ll do the same with you, and then you’ll use what you picked up with people you actually like.
As the night goes on, the crowd gets bigger and closer together. It’s dark at this point, the moon covered with clouds.
Rafe’s been looking at you all night, at your bare legs, thinking about how he had his mouth between them last night.
You feel your phone buzz in your back pocket. When you pull it out, you see a text from Rafe: you ever fucked in a car? or are you too scared lol
You look up to meet his gaze from eight feet away at most, shaking your head in incredulity as he smirks at you.
The abruptness of his message, the promise of doing something so outside your comfort zone, is thrilling. But still, you just have to mess with him.
You reply: too scared :( no thanks
You laugh at the way Rafe’s face contorts at his phone. He looks up at you.
You text again: jk let’s go
He flashes his middle finger to you and you return the gesture. He then cocks his head behind him to signal you to follow.
“Tip for you,” you say when you approach him, walking away from the crowd together. “Don’t flip off a girl you’re trying to fuck.”
“Is that not good foreplay?” Rafe asks with a smirk.
“Aw, did I teach you that word?” you say.
“I knew it before.”
“Sure,” you say. “Just like you knew that girls fake it.”
“You’re annoying,” he groans, amusement in his tone.
“You’re annoying” you say, echoing your text conversation from earlier. You playfully shove his shoulder. He hardly budges.
You approach the parking lot and Rafe pulls out keys to remotely unlock his car.
“Get in,” he says, stopping in front of a large black SUV and opening the right backseat door. You notice the luxury brand immediately.
“This is your car?”
“Got a motorcycle, too,” he replies smugly.
“It makes so much sense now.”
“What?”
“You’re rich,” you realize. Rafe shrugs in such a pompous way.
“And?”
“That’s why you’re so…” you begin. What’s the right word? Entitled? Arrogant? Shameless? “You.”
Rafe scoffs at you, unsure of how to take the comment and unsure if he should even care as you settle in his car. He ambles in behind you, settling on the leather seat and shutting the door.
You don’t feel shy to initiate like you did last night. You straddle him, immediately locking lips, feeling him freeze in what you think is surprise before his hands drag over your hips.
Rafe really wants to grab your ass but he remembers you telling him he shouldn’t jump right to groping.
He tastes like beer and he smells like cologne as you deepen the kiss, weaving your lips together. He dips his tongue into your mouth and your noses nudge together, wet lips smacking in his dark, quiet car.
He shuffles under you, the leather squeaking, allowing you to feel his hard-on between your legs, his hands finally wandering over your ass and gripping hard. Lust burns in your stomach.
Your mind drifts back to what he texted you this morning. You’ve been thinking about it all day. You sit back, unable to see much of Rafe in the darkness, but enough to see that his eyes are half-closed, drunk off the feeling.
“I wanna practice…” you say, stroking him over his shorts. “You know.”
“Say it,” Rafe coaches, his dimples caving into his cheeks. You roll your eyes. Right. This is why you’re doing this. To stop being so reserved.
“Sucking dick,” you finally say. Hearing and watching you as your words spill out of your mouth makes his skin prickle with excitement.
“My turn to teach you, huh?” Rafe’s voice is deep and husky, dripping with desire. You nod, your bottom lip trapped beneath your teeth as you continue to stroke him.
“Should I keep doing this?” you ask, palming him.
“You got it, baby,” he rasps lazily. “Touch it before you put it in your mouth.”
“Fuck,” you half-chuckle. Rafe smirks. He knows you love his dirty talk.
“You can talk, too,” he encourages. “Try it.”
You twist your lips in apprehension, but push yourself past your comfort zone.
“I’ve been thinking about doing this all day,” you admit, goosebumps blooming across your skin. “About how your cock is gonna feel down my throat.”
“Goddamn,” he groans, his hands gripping your ass tighter. How’d he get so lucky to be here right now? “That’s good.”
“Yeah?” you whisper, gratified. You unbutton his shorts and pull down his zipper.
“You liked the way it felt inside you last night, didn’t you?” he asks. He shifts to give you the space to pull down his shorts and boxers.
You watch him shut his eyes in pleasure as you wrap your bare hand around him, no fabric in the way anymore.
“I loved it,” you whisper, giving into the impulse to kiss him again. When your thumb rubs over the bead of warm precum on the head of his cock, he bites your bottom lip.
You move to position your head at his groin, your knees on the carpeted floor of his car. You lean forward, slowly putting your lips around the tip, feeling just how wet your panties are when you taste him.
“Shit,” he shudders. You slightly raise your head to dribble spit onto his thick cock, bringing your hand up to rub the moisture over his length.
“Sit up,” Rafe says. “I wanna watch you spit on it again.”
You straighten and the sight of your line of saliva dropping from your mouth to his dick makes Rafe feel like he might go crazy.
His cock is slick now, your hand sliding up and down it easily.
“Should I use both hands?” you ask.
“Yeah,” he huffs. You nod, both your palms rubbing over his girth, cupping and twisting.
He’s about to tell you to start using your mouth, but you drop a hand, leaving the other at his base, and take him in.
Your hot, wet mouth feels unbelievable. You start to suck and slide over him nicely, leaning up and down.
“Squeeze harder,” he instructs, and you nod with his cock still in your mouth, your hold stiffening at his base. You’d assume gripping this tight would hurt, but this is why you’re doing this with him. To learn.
You take a little more of him with every dip of your head, lips locked as spit dribbles down your chin. The sound of your slurping is fucking amazing to him. Your tongue twists and curls as you move.
“Keep using your tongue like that,” Rafe says to you, his words whispered and rushed. “And take as much of my cock as you can. Try to take all of it.”
You nod again, pushing down, gagging but reaching all of him, your nose touching his toned stomach.
“Fuck, yes,” he moans. “Good fucking girl.”
The praise makes you stir with enticement as you pull back, then take all of his length again, flicking your tongue.
“Just like that,” Rafe grunts, his voice hoarse. “Look at me.”
You meet his eyes in the shadowed car, his chest heaving. Rafe might just lose his mind at the way you look with your mouth stuffed with his cock. He reminds himself this is supposed to be instructional.
“Guys love this shit, okay?” he says. “When you look up like that.”
You pull back, making him watch his cock slowly get uncovered as you pop off of him.
“Is it wet enough?” you ask.
“Yeah, baby, you’re doing a good job,” he replies. You nod and sink onto him again, starting to move faster, moving your hand in sync with your mouth.
“Hold my balls,” he tells you. “Not too tight.”
You obey, cupping the soft flesh with one hand while the other remains wrapped around his cock. You squeeze gently, massaging his balls and earning a deep groan from him.
Wow. You really are learning a lot from him.
Rafe feels his stomach tighten. He’s close.
“You gonna swallow?” he asks.
“Yeah,” you say, muffled and vibrating over his cock. You never have before, but you really want to impress Rafe and do this right.
He starts to shake, his voice reduced to a whimper. You feel him get even harder, then shudder.
His hot cum hits the back of your throat in one hard splash, trailed by short spurts. He moans his way through his orgasm, his load heavy.
You take it all, making him smile as he looks down at you, panting.
“That was… fuck…” Rafe huffs, titling his head back, his jawline sharp.
It’s pretty gratifying seeing such a big, loud, arrogant man reduced to this tired, heaving mess. He rakes a hand through his hair as you shift to sit next to him.
“A-plus?” you ask. You’re expecting him to tease you but he nods.
“Fuck yeah,” he laughs. “Give me a few minutes. I want you to show me how to make you cum on my dick.”
Nerves suddenly bubble in your stomach. Even after what you just did, the thought of fucking him in here makes you feel on edge.
“Let’s do that another night,” you say, adjusting your top.
“What? Why?” he asks. He looks at you, lips still parted as he breathes heavily.
“We could get caught.”
“The windows are tinted,” Rafe tells you. “Nobody knows we’re even in here.”
You look away, which by now, he has learned means you’re embarrassed.
“Holy shit, why do you get so nervous all of a sudden?” he laughs. “Do you feel bad for liking sex or something?”
You swallow hard. You never thought about it but... maybe he’s right. There always is a little bit of shame attached to every hook-up you have.
He called you out on your lack of confidence last night. Here he is, doing it again.
Rafe doesn’t understand how a girl can be so sure of herself one minute, then ashamed the next.
“Relax,” he says. “Don’t think. Just answer, understand?”
“Okay,” you say.
“Do you want to fuck?”
You nod.
“Say it.”
“Yeah, I do,” you relent.
“Then take your clothes off.”
(part three)
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#the way i listen to a playlist called ‘fratboy anthems’ while i work on this series….#don’t think i’ve ever written this much this fast??? what rafe cameron does to a mf#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron#rafe x reader#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#obx smut#rafe cameron fic#rafe x y/n#rafe x you#rafe cameron and you#rafe cameron and reader#rafe cameron and y/n
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