#why cant i decide to do this at . idk a REASONABLE TIME
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To me personally malistaire is the funniest and most pathetic villain wizard101 has ever had AND I MEAN THAT SINCERELY!!! Between doomed children who have been manipulated, groomed, and isolated into becoming products of their environments, someone scorned who has been punished unfairly by having your biological heart torn out your chest and turning your children and all of reality against you to satiate their own ego, a nonhuman entity so powerful and so clueless they unintentionally threaten the lives of everyone around them, Malistaire FELL DOWN BRO. Like yeah you're bitchless now. You and me both. Get in line. Everyone in this room is bitchless. We are ALL living that ✨💅🏾💃🕺 Single Life™. You are a middle-aged man. Cope
#this post is lighthearted btw JELAJWODJTU i aint actually mad#but like...... malistaire as a villain is kinda mid though im sorry. IM SORRY ill take the L opinion if i have to#its one thing if he lost his wife to unfair systematic negligence or thru someone else's doings or smth but. no she just got sick bro 😐#HWMSNFLEKSDIDOA EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I WILL GIVW A BAD OPINION AND THIS IS ONE OF THEM. i cant be right ALL the time /j#like if i dont focus on malistaire's motives and just his ACTIONS he seems super metal#but then he does ALLLLL of that heinous shit because his wife died. like thats absolutely very sad but damn get a grip#(fandom starts breaking in my windows and drags me out into the street) IM SORRY IM SORRY LOOK ITS JUST NOT MY CUP OF TEA#ive never been invested in those Mr. Freeze types of villains where a person they love dies due to normal circumstances-#and they go fucking BERSERK. they LOSE IT. they go like “well okay fuck the entire world i guess nothing matters” and then kill people#LIKE IF IT'S DONE IN A CERTAIN WAY I CAN BE INVESTED but more often than not to me? its just kind of funny#like “okay damn there was only ONE person keeping you from being a national criminal? okay”#and you know what? thats a mood actually. thats a mood#without my cat i probanly would have become the president by now#for some reason its a little diff for me if its like a child you lost and idk why#like if malistaire lost a kid instead of his wife id probably be more inclined to feel bad and thats terribly fucked up JSLSJSJSJ#you know what its also bias because in some shape or form i relate to all the other villains. morganthe and duncan especially#whereas in malitsaire's case i have never been married. which i mean doesnt stop me from tryna be more synpathetic i guess but im just not#ONCE AGAIN FEEL VERY BAD FOR HIM AND SULVIA. like losing someone to sickness or any reason really is a serious thing#but in terms of a fictional setting with fictional characters where one of them decides to commit genocide over it? 🧍 like okay boo u do u#i will gladly give up my mantle for the “most reasonable opinions” guy in the fandom foe this one. i deserve it#wizard101#w101#wiz101#text posts#malistaire drake
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some design thingy for my AU
#kiyotaka ishimaru#mondo owada#Humada!AU#the tags below are just ramblings#the reason why Mondo got into the physics class bc he solved the last task of the physics test#which is related to motorbike engine idk i guess he might be an expert at motorbikes or sth like that#it gave him extra points and it was enough for him to pass the entrance exam#and the reason why I let Taka become an english specialized student bc of a tumblr post I read a long time ago#it says that Taka used to write a letter in english for Mondo on his birthday#and yeah I admit that I do want him to study the same specialized subject as me lol#Taka is literally perfect with any roles in his class i cant decide agdskhsd#i create this au just for fun pls dont bully me#or ill send ur family to jesus#jk lolol
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I have a longing to be understood more than anything else i think
#someone very recently acknowledged something that usually goes unseen and it wasn't even that great of an acknowledgement but ive just been#staring at the messages every once in a while. its great. not really i sort of feel like a real weirdo#im very lonely. i cant say why but let it be known that i am very lonely#ok i have a question to those who lie their eyes upon this post: tell me what you know about me please?#so much lies in my social perception and i am just. not being perceived. at all. darn#i have a lot to cry about but morally i dont think i should-- specifics would mean being mean to the people i love#talking to anyone anymore just makes me feel horrible. doing anything anymore makes me feel horrible..tmbg has my back though ill live for#another.week or a few. and then my birthday will happen and rhen um#.Well. it sucks that sucks man. i dont want to disclose my age but to elaborate on why ACTUALLY HOLD ON#the thing i am about to say is not true; it is a metaphorical thing: it is my 21st birthday soon.#i decided that i wouldnt live past this age around 5 years ago and the only reason ive lived five years is being killed this year. i dont#think every thing ive been desperately clinging on to for the past 2 (?) years can keep me alive past then..i think im going to die. i have#to#NO MORE BEING A DOWNER#fox (vulpes vulpes) on the Internet for the first time#okay maybe a little more..i dont know who im talking to in this post. my friends do not read my tumblr and. i dont know anyone else.really.#uh#I'm listen to tmbg right now i love them#hey reader; i can only think of 3 people who see enough about me to check my blog. so i have separate questions for the each of you.#one of you likes (liked? school came in and i couldnt see your blog much past then; idk if its changed) tmbg. what do you think of The Else?#and uh you there... the guyyy. Google john flansburgh..i dont have a reason to this one ive just not been able to stop thinking about askin#you what you think of him.#um third person..... um#okay theres nothing iecan ask. i do want to apologize to you though: im sorry.#iThis is bullshit#im gonna delete this soon#Um also sorry if my wording here is. really wack. i tend to do that#i dont think anyones going to see this as is always#i think i just like talking to the hypothetical beast. yeah
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i hate that duality that your mind can be your safe heaven that helps you get through some difficult things, keeps you going and brings you happiness at the worst of times. and at the very same time it could be your worst tormentor that won't let you rest and won't let you breathe, literally for no particular reason at all. and you can't leave or silence it. can't get it to stop when it gets dark in there. can't get the light in when you desperately need to feel a respite instead of suffocation.
#its so difficult#sometimes its too much to handle#yeah particularly today im just.. screaming internally#and the inability to do something YOU LOVE due to your brain having one of those bad days so everything feels fucking BAD is just so unfAIR#its frustrating#the only thing you can do is sob apparently#my room doesnt feel like my room anymore all i feel is fear and dread#i just dont understand why and how it came to this point i want out#nothing grounds me to reality or to my normal state and im afraid#instead of watch fav movie to get better ill count the duration time and decide thats its too long i dont have that much time#i will be painfully aware of numbers and wb scared of them and then ill just not move at all immobilized at place#i cant#all i could do is desperately bother my friends trying to connect to them and hiding that obvious ache#i dont have capacity to soothe myself with my favorite guys and gals from games and movies i dont feel anything at all#and i hate that but also i cant do anything im so idk what i feel like but like im not anything#i lost myself i lost my favorite things to do and my hobbies and my spark and everything i dont even know anymore#on small bad days you could conjure a good thoughts and watch somethinf and think about what makes you happy#theres a void in my head now that just counts and counts and counts and cant do nothing#i will just open up a chat w friends and look at empty textspace i want to connect so badly but i wont send anything just freeze still#i dont feel that im in here but i want badly to be here and yet i cant grasp anything to still keep myself real#and like i have a feeling that in next 2 hours I'll just vanish spmething bad will happn carcrash orso i cantbe spendin much timeon anythin#i hate this#suddenly your brain just want you dead and fills you with dread unimaginable and my dumbass thinks that it's right#that my brain is right and im inclined to believe in this shit. im not but deep down i kind of is so thats why this anxiety causes me probl#ms for the whole week i didnt done anything i just could not i want it to stop#its so sure of itself that i will pass away in couple of hours by unknown reasons that it imagined so why even try
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went through the skaianet files rabbit hole trying to figure out who dadberts father was because i wanted to draw him as a kid. what is going on
#ive concluded hes that kind of kid that look exactly like their mothers#which makes dad crocker (dad egberts genetic twin) reeaaally similar to jane#which is really funny because any outsider would never guess that shes adopted#“ah yes that is certainly his daughter”#why cant i decide to do this at . idk a REASONABLE TIME#its five in the morning but . dad crocker lore is a damn priority#which gives me an excuse to give him the cursed crockerbert awful eyesight so i can draw him with glasses#i love dad crocker hes just my guy i dunno man#love that guy 10/10#dad egbert#dad crocker#homestuck#bonks thinkpan#dying what do i even tag this as#just me rambling
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ok if there are any artists out there who do comms can u like help me understand why there are no refunds for upfront payments even if you have not started the work at all ????
#like i am. very much struggling to understand why if someone has paid u and then#before u have even started the work#if they cancel#u cannot return the money to them ???????#i do not understand and i do not think i will ever understand. not that its happened to me but im very curious why tf thats a common rule#what is the purpose of keeping money for something u have not even done and is perfectly cancel-able#like its one thing when u have already started and are mid project ofc. then i def understand that u have spent time and effort and u shoul#be compensated for that. but if ur rules are 'no refunds whatsoever after payment' like im struggling to understand why if someone pays you#and a day later. like before u have even started the comm. why cant they cancel and have their money back if they decide to ??#perhaps if u do slots and they took up a slot so now u have to go thru the trouble of reopening that one slot and getting another customer#i would understand like a fee for cancellation and then returning the money after keeping a fraction#but#just no refunds whatsoever after payment ??? for a comm that hasnt even been started ??????#idk maybe im just not understanding something from the artists perspective or something here and if so someone help me understand#but i literally cannot wrap my head around it and until someone can offer me a valid reason why this rule is set in place i rly honestly#think its a bit insensitive to other peoples money and possible situations that may arise that might make them cancel a comm due to like#an emergency
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man i remember complaining about The Bone Bees and someone asking why i drank the 5hr energy and my answer being that i was "a little sleepy!" and saying that "god i shouldve just been A Little Sleepy! it was Fine!" and someone being Concerned by that and being like you shouldnt drive when youre A Little Sleepy! and just being like. i dont know how else to tell you that the Bone Bees Were So Much Worse Than Being Sleepy. i cannot stress enough that the condition it put me in was Worse. i recognize and acknowledge that drowsy driving is bad. that is why i made the Caffeine Mistake in the first place. i was trying to Avoid Drowsy Driving. and i had not Realized that the Caffeine was going to make me So Much Worse Than Drowsy. 0/10 never again. 5hr energy evil.
#toy txt post#i don't remember who it was but man. the bone bees. guys the bone bees were so bad. it was so bad. i never wanna feel like that again#not to admit to reckless driving on main and i want to stress i dont endorse this behavior and also never want to do what im about to say#again either: having once driven after taking a benadryl. and once driven in The Bone Bees. the benadryl was not as bad#i will grant. the benadryl. i was also So Fucking Full Of Adrenaline. for bug reasons. and i also want to stress i really did not want to do#it at the time but really did Not Have Better Options. and am comparing the bone bees to that and saying it was not as bad as the bone bees#to stress just how bad the bone bees were#if the bone bees ever happen again im gonna just fucking wait it out at a rest stop and chug water and piss til the bees fade#you know the feeling when you take adhd meds with no food and then you also have coffee on top of that with no food and you forget to eat#all day and you keep not eating and then to top it off you decide to have more coffee and it feels like you have been hollowed out and like#all of your bones are vibrating and also like you might pass out and stop breathing? it was like that but food wasnt helping and it was just#one single 5hr energy#(i did also have my adhd meds that day) (but it was not at the same time the 5hr energy was way later in the day)#anyway you know how ppl in their 30s will be like oh man i cant do things like i used to when i was 20! that was me at like idk 24 with the#5hr energy#anyway#this is why that battery acid spaghetti post felt like they were really overhyping the effects of the beverage. it didnt taste bad and it#gave me zero bone bees
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last
for realsies
#HELLO IM VENTING AGAIN IM SO SORRY#i am sick of everything the usual but i just need some fucking therapy and my diagnosises are taking too long because the system is shit#over here and i feel like i am a literal walking disaster a hazard to myself are my meds even working anymore idk? someone needs to lock me#in a fucking wardrobe before i loose my shit and do something stupid as fuck at least im self aware ok were growing this is called growth#wow ok amazing spectacular#like tonight ive decided i hate everyone again i want to quit uni actually might do it this time i just applied for a random job for no#reason i have a job but if i have 2 then i can over work myself to the max so i dont have to go into uni#i have three weeks off so now im cutting everyone off who knows how long this episode is gonna last for#i am loosing my god damn mind i do not want to do anything everything is so hard why is everyone so pressuring#i stopped doing some of my stupid habbits but now im just going full circle again so im thriving rn live love laugh am i right guys or what#AND WHY CANT I JUST HAVE A THERPAIST WHO CONTACTS ME ITS BEEN SINCE OCTOBER U FUCKING BITCH GO FUCK URSELF#anyway im in huge amounts of pain too idk what i do in my sleep or something but my shoulders hurt so bad#i hate wet tags on clothes when they stick to you throws up actually#i had stale fucking garlic bread today and i want to move out but if i move out then things will get worse for me#why cant i maintain a normal friendship without loosing my mind and hating everyone i mean no one knows my friends are pretty good with me#they understand but i dont know#ive come to the conclusion that i am just a shit
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I forgot how obnoxious every game launcher that isn't steam is
#misc.txt#'ok before you do anything you have to download our special launcher :) that throttles download speeds a ridiculous amount you cant fix it'#'it will take over an hour to install btw :)'#'ok now link it with your steam and verify it 5 times'#'ok now for this SPECIFiC game you have to link your account from this other company :) :) oh you don't have it? go make one :) :)'#'and then verify it 5 more times while praying until it finally decides to work for no apparent reason : ) '#'ok now you just have to link the accounts in your browser! oh its not working. idk why lol it just is not :) :) sounds like a you problem'#'now just wait 10 hours for your 90gb game to install at 100kb/s :) :) :)'#fucking kill me#I didnt even want to buy it on that platform it was just 3x cheaper.....
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@dandelionsheep
so tired of this bullshittery
#didnt expect to find another dsaf fan in the notes but when were at it yeah.#literally one of the reasons for why i only talk dsaf with my 3 dsaf-knowing irl friends and like. 2 handpicked online people#i dont trust anyone else in this place. for other reasons but this one too#its made worse by the fact that there are like...max 5 canonically stated or implied features for each character yet most people cant even#follow those few pointers. like. come on man. there are like 3 characteristics on average per character. 3.#its not hard. yet everyone seems to bend over backwards to deviate from the source as much as possible#yes i do have a weird superiority complex about this. like booo your designs are ironed and polished like the sleekest product; your#depictions are declawed and defanged and you arent rotating a rotisserie chicken at all youre rotating a fucking tofu#like. im not saying that everyone in the fandom does this but...a LOTS of people do#btw if you're seeing this reblog twice it's because I'm stupid and deleted the previous one because i played 4d chess with myself#and decided that i was stupid as all hell for assuming dsaf even though fnaf will also goes by dave for a portion of time#after which i convinced myself that the chances of prev being a regular fnaf fan who just so happens to sometimes call will dave#are much higher than the chances of them being a dsaf fan who is used to calling dsaf will dave#because idk.
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ah i could not help myself. checked onk for a detail on the movie arc and ended up rereading the entire movie arc, then bit the bullet and read up to current. not as many chapters as i thought considering how long ago i was "caught up" and that onk is a weekly?? i guess there were breaks. almsot made me think it was a monthly series. with how little there was
tbh if i had waited til the end of the year that would have been perfect. it rly seems like there are not many chapters left. even where i left off tho, it was enough where again i wasn't dying to know what happened next, so i can wait for it to finish if it finishes this year :) maybe spoiler-y rant in tags for past 5-6 chapters
#idk if i have a read tag but will add later if so#i was rly checking for the kana/akane convo at the beach#that both fulfilled me and sucked my soul out of my body for the second time now#i am happy for kana but my poor yuri heart wanted akane to say smth in light to kana essentially saying 'you are my ideal type'#even if kana didn't reciprocate i think it would be amazing for akane's character#if she could acknowledge she may have feelings for kana or could reciprocate if kana actually felt that way#what i rly wanna say tho is the akane fake-out was so good#i already cant recall bc time blurs but when she shwoed up to the miyazaki concert i knew smth was up#bc the past few times shes been at a place has been bc of ulterior motives#but i cant place the timeline now and i dont wanna go at it again#akane said she couldnt make the tokyo concert but that she survived seeing kana perform#so i wonder if the attempted murder happens on the 2nd concert day?#but it made the b komachi performance seem like the gradn finale#like kamiki was watching live and the stabbing took place at the same time#but if ruby already left to rehearse and akane was there then it was miyazaki concert no??????#but then akane saw them oerform so....... day 2??????#also i rly loved the line about 'being born a twin' for a reason that was so gold#i skimmed a lot of the latter half that didnt half to do w the movie directly#but i do remember from the first time how aqua embraced being himself and not gorou and saw ruby as his sister#and was rly truly letting go of his past self to live life (prior to kana date chapter i think???)#and now this/// the current few chapters#really poetic also why i think theyre in miyazaki bc ti aqua#it would be poetic justice for him to die and be reborn and die again in the same (general) place#idk how hes gonna get outta this one but i'll wait and see in ful#also aaaaaa along w the twins line... him wanting to call miyako mom!!!#and ruby's face in that panel was cute#cant decide if it was surprise or joy or both?? but she's in the bg to show some reaction#i hope the end of the year is enough time to finish#if i get bored i might... take a shot at the kana/akane convo of my dreams
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:3
#some tag rambles bc im having a bunch of loz thoughts to hey why not do a short lived tag ramble#starting with the bad i have thought more on how i feel totk fucked up its characters and its like. yeah any arcs that are there are bad#zeldas is dogshit all of the sages are just. VERY tell no show and it really doesnt matter and otherwise idk#nothing wrong with a static character but imo with a static character you then have to show more of them#reveal some things. also doesnt really happen. the main speaking cast are also kinda weak in relation to link#they dont really work off of him very well bc hes… not treated like a character. hes just some virtuous everyman in the story#so theres no actual chemistry between him or the other characters bc he isnt treated a character so like. he has almost no chemistry#its all mostly one sided and none of the sages but zelda have any real chemistry with other major characters either#and the major characters zelda has chemistry with barely matter so fuck it. like when ppl talk abt like. loz stories#and ppl talk abt how yeah they arent the best but totk is rlly bad. i dont feel like any other loz stories are baaaaad#not in the same way. but they dont feel as egregiously fumbled. imo its bc of the characters most of them time#ofc story can be strong enough and im not discounting stuff like mm and oots themes and atmosphere and stuff#it seeeems to me the most popular non zelda sage is tulin? but mostly bc hes a sweet kid and thats fine and all but there doesnt seem to#be much else to him hes otherwise kinda unremarkable bc he just doesnt do much else and seems to exists mostly to serve gameplay and plot#botw did it better bc the champions actively had a dynamic and a relationship with link they arent the deepest but they have more substance#botw zelda is arguably the strongest character in botw with a unique personality and genuine relationship to link even if we just see it#in the memories and seeing her warm up to link is cool but imp they fumble it in the ending of her arc and how it kinda contradicts stuff#and in totk they doubled the fuck down on her unlocking her powers for reasons related to link and decided ig shed figure she needs to be#links forever bestie and hypeman and she kinda just revolves around him in a really superficial way and this is the negative extreme#of a character being bolstered by being connected to link. but anyways in loz its the characters that tend to be the strongest points#and the characters with a clear dynamic and relationship to link shine the most. think groose ghirahim ravio midna fi marin linebeck sheik#the list could go on but the characters who get a chance to shine by interacting with the Player Character are the ones who stick out#and ofc they get more screen time but they cant avoid that character development or general character fleshing out bc they are in some way#tied to link and in a sort of way link himself is more fleshed out through how those other characters react to him if that makes sense#i think loz is at its best when a good bit of emphasis and effort is placed on characters and character relationships#and when thise relationships and character are written well ofc this fucking matters too#anyways thats why ph is one of the best we love our character heavy black sheep them ds characters carry so hard and so fucking well mwah
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I haven't been on here in forever and quite honestly doubt if anyone I used to talk to really remembers me now. But hello
#bex.txt#i guess i just feel overwhelmed by everything#and i miss coming on here and seeing all of the things i used to enjoy#and have fun reblogging all my kpop#nonsense#like#i never decided that it was time to move on from my interests like kpop or kdramas or anime or bls#i never moved on to different interests or find other hobbies like most people do#i kind of just stopped enjoying anything#ive felt like this for a few years now#helpless depressed anxious listless#i feel like i have no purpose or rhyme or reason to exist#i feel like I'm watching everyone else around me progress or at least have their lives moving in a forward motion#and I'm just kind of stuck in place#and i thought it was because of my old job or my lack of income or my inability to support my family#and i still believe that was a part of it#but idk why I'm like this anymore#why i feel like this and its so frustrating#i want to enjoy things again#anything really but i cant and idk why#even if its not the things i was interested in before#i just want to feel the joy i used to feel#i want to do things and enjoy those things
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i dont even work tomorrow but im filled with dread that i wont be able to just sleep in over and over again the whole next week
#the bin#:( to be honest i think id rather still live with my parents than have to deal with this#maybe its just cause i dont have transportation or live alone#i still dont feel like i have freedom of being an adult. maybe bc the person i live with acts like theyre more of an adult and have more#right over where we live. why do i have to have the smaller room anyway? she cant find any good justification that doenst boil down to#'youre younger than me' which is not a good reason. and i dont even care that much but like. ahe decided that she deserves it more than me#because she wants equal control over the common space too bc she spends more time there#i spend almost all my time in my room. in my opinion i think that means i should get the bigger room but she fully decided thats not at all#an option. she doenst even USE one of her closets or her bathroom. the only good reason she should have it is that it has an aircon#and my room doesnt and she overheats easier but like. thats never the reason she uses. idk.#i really truly wish i wasnt forced to move in with her. we had been planning to move in togeteh but i expected her to treat me like a adult#she just refuses to see me as one. its exhausting especially considering im the one keeping us afloat financially#the reason i had to call put sick this past week is because i was burnt out from faxing her mistakes and trying to keep us from getting#kicked out. idk. im tired of this and im tired of her#and i keep telling her she needs to treat me like an adult and an equal now that things have changed and she refuses to even#acknowledge that she doesnt. she treats me exactly the same as before. idk. sorry i complain so much#i really dont wanna go back to work :(
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i should make an evil science guy oc
#⚠️#personal#i think i did have one actually but i abandoned her for whatever reason#she was some scientist researcher person but like out of nowhere her and a bunch of her collegues just became obsessed with the idea of old#gods and stuff (like cthulhu kinda shit) for whatever reason (still havent decided) and like something happened and they ended up starting a#new research facility in some renote place where no one will know where they are and due to some loophole in the law that place was like#clean of laws making it illegal to do what they wanted to do#anyways in the facility theyre testing on people some ancient shit they found relating to the gods which confirmed that they were onto#something and for some reason this oc chose to sacrifice herself for the sake of testing it for science and to find out the truth about this#whole god thing. so she injects the ancient shit into her and it starts to oveetake her body going from left to right#one of her arms and one half of her face was completely overtaken by whatever it is and is slowly eating away at the rest of her#its beginning to eat away at her leg and make its way across to the right side so shes kinda dying but shes still dedicating all her time#and energy to getting to the bottom of all the god shit cause she really wants to summon that thang#oh and the reason why they started the facility in the middle of nowhere is cause everyone was like ''stop that you will literally doom#humanity'' and then the government got involved so they just fucked off into the middle of nowhere#i should bring her back idk why i just abandoned her shes cool#anyways oc infodump hehehaha#i think she had a name let me check#cant find her name but apparently shes british#i forgot that#idk if ill keep that but eh
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Wanna ask if you have any headcannons for aventio modern au
( cause I am obsessed with modern aus)
hellyeah brother i'm here to serve the masses
hcs about ratio:
still a doctor still has 8 phds
knows about student debt and hates it with a burning passion
has a duck keychain that he puts on his keychain with all of his keys like the keys to his house
once crushed a soda can in his hands during his student years bcs he was that fucking mad about the homework questions not being stated in a clear manner (he just like me fr)
has several duck plushies in his bed and theyre all named after either greek philosophers or roman politicians
can speak latin fluently and mutters curse words and creative expressions in latin during the classes that he teaches because he is that pissed off
used to be a full time doctor, but decided to turn to teaching instead after some time
hyper-empathy due to childhood neglect (he just like me fr)
eyebags that he covers up with makeup, he still has those from his student years and cant fucking get them to leave no matter how many hours he sleeps for
enjoys occasionally a rum & coke
really likes lattes and london fogs
had a british accent once because he travelled to the uk and picked up on it, when he came back he was mortified
fucking loves ducks so much he has a camera roll dedicated to duck photos
he got to pet a duck once he was happy for the rest of the week thats how much he loves them
massive nerd & dork
undiagnosed autism with a side of gifted child trauma
really likes jazz and lofi it calms him down fast and makes him happy
wrings his hands when he's really happy
touch starved
makes really good soup
hopeless romantic
more mentally unstable than you think he is. he is actually suffering from burnout but doesnt want to let people around him down.
doing his best. sometimes on the weekends he just nestles into a cocoon of blankets and refuses to leave. texture....
cannot not wear socks he will die without them
cat magnet for some reason??? all neighbourhood cats are at his doorstep even when he and aven already have three. ig hes just cat dad now
aventurine hcs:
still has those glasses, his eyes are more sensitive to light too
really fucking likes fluffy stuff he loves the fluffy he loves the fluffy he-
big fan of sheep and peacocks
eternally terrified that ratio secretly hates him even when they start dating
bpd & adhd & probably autism (ALL BPD HAVERS FUCKING WIN WITH THIS ONE!!!!! I SEE YALL)
masks so often its insane
used to smoke and drink heavily, but has started to lay off ever since he met ratio
still an adrenaline junkie and still has his stupidly good good luck
really likes coffee too, coffee addict, has horrible eyebags, a shitty sleep schedule, and overworks himself half to death
cant fucking cook what the hell is a kitchen
very fond of stelle/caelus and sees them as his surrogate younger siblings. stelle taught him how to play video games and now he plays with them whenever his thoughts get really bitchy to him
horrible at relying on other people but is slowly unlearning that
can do a backflip (why? idk)
high pain tolerance
has a collection of sheep plushies that his friends bought for him
numby and him get along really well. he and topaz still have that sibling esque relationship.
i think he still works for the ipc in this au but its not as bad as it is in canon
starved of touch and does not really know what a healthy relationship is before ratio comes along
loves blankets he has like ten blankets on his bed at once idk why
once poured monster energy into coffee and then drank it. he suffered the consequences. even good luck can't save you from that
listens to generic pop (lie. he actually loves indie guitar)
MENTAL ILLNESS REP IN THIS MAN
accidentally big brothered some kids. help how does he deal with affection
buys stuff for stelle and caelus too. he buys them sheep plushies. they will defend said sheep plushies with their lives. they buy him racoon plushie in return. he does not cry.
his fingers shake so bad sometimes (PTSD goes hard)
motor skills can and will die on him occasionally
unhealthy coping mechanisms but hes getting better guys
he does relapse occasionally but hes putting in effort. finally got his ass to therapy thanks to ratio :)
second cat dad. he loves his cat children he will die for his cat children.
the cats like laying next to him as he eeps if ratio isnt there. they purr and help him with his nightmares.
(ily people w bpd you deserve this rep!!! enjoy :3)
them together hcs!!!!
ratio already had background information on bpd due to his psych degree beforehand but did more researching into it when he realized that aven had bpd because he wanted to support his partner as much as he could :)
ratio is big on physical touch but aven needed some time to get used to it and he was very big on it
aven really likes spoiling the absolute shit out of ratio and likes getting him gifts because sometimes he doesn't know how to word how much he appreciates ratio
aven likes to wash ratios hair for him and visa versa, non sexual intimacy always fucking wins
ratio still worries about aven and doesn't like him gambling all the time, aven makes an active effort to better himself for him even if it's really hard
at the start it was really fucking shitty between the two of them but eventually aven started to learn how to properly and safely communicate with ratio and ratio learned how to phrase his thoughts in a way that wouldn't trigger something, and although they both make mistakes they are doing their best for one another and generally have a good impact on one another's stages of healing (im not projecting im not projecting i-)
aven will hold ratio in his arms and tell him that he's good enough when the thoughts get really bad
they love cuddling, who's big spoon and small spoon switches regularly because they both like being held and holding the other
aven will stop by ratio after his classes and take him home when hes too tired
ratio shuts down sometimes and aven messes with his hair and just stays with him until he reboots
they kiss <33333333333
they cuddle so much they hold one another going to bed
ratio likes giving aven little headkisses and peppers his face with them
they are gay and in love and healthy actually
they were never toxic yaoi never will they be. they are healthy.
they get married <333
this is so much more than what you asked for probably but here you go.
#aurae answers#hsr#hcs#dr ratio#aventurine#aventio#ratiorine#modern au#cat dads#they are cat dads#aven has bpd#fight me#i will die on this hill#my partner has bpd and they deserve this rep#healthy relationships#BECAUSE THEY ARE HEALTHY#FUCK YOU
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