#idk if ill keep that but eh
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wanted to scribble a couple of my favorite moments from the "Just So" song demo <3
#i keep listening to all the audios over and over again#theyre just so!!! Yippee Yahoo and all that!!!!#instant comfort and stress relief. somehow#they scratch that brain itch yk yk#scribble garnish#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#welcome home fanart#still puzzling out how i wanna clean my sketches#im pretty happy with the current method???#but still idk... its Missing something...#im almost satisfied but not quite#but im not sure what it lacks!#eh ill figure it out eventually....
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software instability ^
#tysm to the ppl who voted in the poll!!! this is the one that won :)#from here ill post in the order of percentages on that poll!#certain that this has been done before and much better but eh *shrugs* it was fun to draw#also ignore how weird the blue came out... i kinda regret not just leaving it alone but its 2 late now ig#i think you'll quicly learn that side profiles are my vice lol#front facing characters hard... its hard to keep a consistent style idk#also apologies abt the lined paper. as i have previously mentioned i get Nice Paper Anxiety™️ so loose leaf is easier :)#my art#connor dbh#connor rk800#rk800#dbh rk800#rk800 dbh#connor rk800 dbh#dbh connor#connor dbh fanart#dbh fanart#fanart#dbh#detroit become human#mine
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going on an adventure again
#mew.jpg#pokeani#ash ketchum#no rat because i cant draw animals well#anyway. hi#i haven't posted art in uhh. a while#ive been drawing a lot though but mainly oc stuff#that i haven't posted because i don't feel like it's ''good enough'' yet#which i know isn't a good mindset#but it also motivates me to keep drawing more so. eh#im working on redesigning all my ocs so it's taking a while#so yeahh. hopefully ill finish and post them soon because im excited to talk about them#idk when next time ill post art will be LOL#prooobably in a looong time. eh
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Make you vile, Make you a spectacle.
They need to calm down from hitting each other with pipes
#bart#limbus company#ishmael limbus company#ishmael lcb#ahab limbus company#Ahab lcb#i think about ahab more than i let on and thats all y'all will know#the prequod is a sort of...idk podium to stand upon and confess yourself to your fullest onto#it talks a lot about faith and keeping it despite the depths but the second you falter the second you step out of the self assumed light#you'll get straight up swallowed whole#idk herman wrote some wild shit in there and some folks know i do backflips just to avoid Christianity#obviously the white whale is a sort of trial by mockery of faith but like idkkk#WHATEVER BACK TO CAPTOTE (did not spell that correctly) ishmael and how violently horrid it is with ahab#that ego is a sort of play on ishmael taking everything just to guide the others out of the pit they find themselves in#she bloodies herself and makes her flesh unrecognizable to the most keen of eyes just to find a way through#to put a blind bull through the thing that denounces other authorities and claims it is above all#ahab is that sort of red that ishmael endlessly chases after like a wheel#no matter how many harpoons are buried deep in ishmaels flesh she will still move forward if not die with a hand reaching in front#eh im not gonna explain too much in the tags because I'm ill
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have some pensive mettatons!! it's all i can sketch lately
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listen idk much about gravity falls but that bill cypher dude reminds me of my old childhood oc and i felt the need to draw the lil fella again
#ray art#ray ocs#bill cipher#idk if this counts as bill cipher fanart but eh im counting it why not#and i am just now realizing that ive misspelled “cipher” as “cypher” this entire time after typing in his tag IM CRYING#THATS MY BAD IDK WHY BRAIN REGISTERED CIPHER LIKE THAT#i missed drawing this oc a lot tho damn its been ages#my lil eye creechur <33#also hi hello im back after a. While! Again!#ik i keep on saying ill post more soon and then just disappear for another million months but im hoping this time i'll actually post more#ima try to post more doodles and whatnot instead of thinking i gotta post polished stuff all the time
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Religiously i think about one of my twitter mutuals pointing out how aoki's design is subtly asymmetrical while ichiban is more symmetrical
when i think of it, masato's design is fairly symmetrical as well isnt it.....
#snap chats#please no one look at me i shouldve gotten my drink two hours ago#what does it mean .....#i swear my mutual had like. galaxy brain when it came to aoki i swear to god in heaven no one got him like they did#they were also the one that did that glass analysis post i shared some months back#moving on tho...#i guess there is the stipulation that because masato's shirt buttons dont match his shirt like ichi's does the buttons at the top mess it u#but aside from that everything else is pretty even: he has a pair of bangs and while his shirt is patterned its not like. grossly so#the pattern doesnt go particularly one way or the other its obviously just a pattern and the colors arent offensively against each other#on the flipside aoki's hair is more obviously swept to one side and leaving the other side bare#not to mention his tie in general. the 'bulb' part and 'tongue' part even go against each other#as if a diagonal striped tie itself wouldnt be askew to his overall look#again these are very small things to notice but im glad theyre small- it makes sense for a politician's to be subtly incongruent#the glasses are super important to aoki's design too but that's covered int eh glass analysis and isnt about symmetry#idk ... maybe im just waffling on about nothing.. either way i love those posts by my mutual#OH i think of this because i am once again thinking of updating how i draw masato#cause i like the blazer and necklace i gave him BECAUSE of that asymmetry#but now i wonder if thatd go against his design ... so i have to ask 'what underlying message is there for masato to be symmetrical'#i guess- even if he is a creep and a weirdo- he's not. evil? idk ... he hasn't gone totally off the deep end compared to aoki#like compared to what he'd go on to do as aoki he's pretty normal as masato#he is just a guy. who DOES have ties to the yakuza but this aint about that LKCJALKREJVA#he doesnt even like them he just uses them for his convenience 😔#idk. ill prob still draw masato the same tbh LMAO if anything ill just crop his blazer but keep it symmetrical#i guess i cant wonder this TOO much when i give him mismatching rings 💀💀 ill just have fun ig fjaelrvekljv#at the end of the day its never that serious ...... i just gotta draw what makes me chortle. esp for a chara three people care about VJLAEK#but i will wonder ..... <- it is not that deep#ima go bye
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I DON'T UNDERSTAND, HOW ARE YOU ALL STILL SO HAPPY?
alt vers b/c i'm not sure if the colors on the final vers came out the best
#my art lol#vocaloid#vocaloid fanart#vocaloid art#vocaart#dismemberment#blood tw#kagamine len#kagamine rin#rin and len kagamine#rin vocaloid#len vocaloid#bad vibe hours 😔✌️ not gonna get too much into it#this is eh but whatever. posts it anyways#imo rin came out way better than len here lmao... idk what happened to him.#WELL OBVIOUSLY I KNOW she fuckign killed him but like. im talking pose/drawing wise. art is hard#was testing out some different color things here but GOD why does this always happen when im tryign to finish something#cause this technically isnt 'new' i already had the sketch i just never properly lined it. and then i finished it obv#but yeah 'im not gonna take so long on the filters ill keep it simple' THATS A FUCKING LIE. BRUH. im so indecisive
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mmmmpppfffff
#yknow that one post that’s like “people really need to see that mentally ill people are suffering and need help even if they aren’t 24/7#breaking down??” yeah. christ#I need to sleep I think but also this keeps happening and.#idk one day I’m not gonna be able to live through it. and that scares me a lot#but like eh I’ll be fine I’m going to sleep
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and then she messages me to start dinner & wash the dishes. did not think i could feel worse but ig she's always proving me wrong in that regard... this must be the power of god she's always going on about !
#smudgy.txt#.vent#eh ive got notifs off for her so i didn't see it n it looks like someone else started the food so#*shrug*#anyway i wish i could weld my room door shut#just never leave again#yknow whats frustrating is knowing that ill just keep going#like no matter what happens i will always drag my corpse out of bed every morning#make appointments talk to ppl like normal etc#like i was just thinking man im abt ready to give up n then i remembered i have a#commission to do.#n im like. aight. get it together noah the world hasn't ended yet#someone is counting on us to draw them a nice picture for 50 dollars. like#idk. idk!!!!#god i feel sick
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man.
#i had this whole post ive been trying to formulate for so so long. abt my issues w ceewilbur and ccwilburisms and#to clarify i do like cwilb he is one of my faves. ik it may seem i wanna bite his arm off smtimes and i Do but#its mostly bitterness directed to the stuff Around him if that makes sense. yk the response to lots abt him#the way the overcompensation abt how he can be villanized swinging into a state where he Cant and never Did and wrong and if you critique#or acknowledge it you get snipped at and demeaned and treated like its a targeted hit on the mentally ill when its like#a mild disagreement with one of the most popular characters in the fanbase Easily#and w cc wil i do think he is just sm guy. im sure he's a nice dude idrc abt the ccs usually but he seems alright enough even tho he has v#goofy ahh takes and opinions but that doesnt make you Evil#but when i dive into what really has made me feel so alienated and snippy its. llmao its the racism yeah lol its super very much the racism#its very very prevelent and very common and very unchallenged. and it like. upsets me so bad its why i keep bailing on making my actual#full detailed post abt it. cuz everytime i try to formulate my thoughts i just get upset and frustrated i wanna rip my hair out#its hard not to feel like im talking to a wall when its so common and unchecked and. ive seen rightful critiques of these spaces and how#ppl interact with them Openly Mocked and brushed aside and treated like 'petty sensative internet drama' that ppl need to 'just get over'#sorry man im a fucking 🇲🇽 i cant exactly log off and Stop Experiencing Racism. and sorry that me feeling alienated and tired and sad abt#it is an inconvenience for you llol#and like idk. im not upset w anyone in particular this isnt a call out post or vague who give a shit and.#eh maybe im stupid but i really really believe a lot of ppl arent doing it on purpose#its just bein parroted ik i get it but#am i rlly not allowed to be tired? why should it feel like my responsibility to hold ppls hand and go hey mb treat poc and darker skinned#ppl like ppl. maybe you should examine why you need so many things made palatable to you through conventionally attractive whiteness first#idk. idk!!! am i crazy who fucking knows#but it has been weighing on me stupid style so bad#the shrinking fanbase and primarily yk common stragglers has just. rlly felt like a magnifying glass to my already existing issues abt it#idk man. idk im tired and im at work its 100°+ and my head hurts so this is all yr getting. lea me alone#and again this isnt a vague who Cares. just wanted to get it off my chest finally#huri.txt#discourse#<- ig
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just realized i never actually elaborated on my So Genius backstory idea for my new s/i concept. so a big theme in house of leaves is that literally none of the layers of the narrative can be considered to be 100% reliable. not the record, not zampano's review, certainly not johnny's footnotes or pelafina's letters. in limbus company we clearly can't leave the existence of the house or navidson up for debate--there's people who exist outside of navy's telling of the events literally in the house (i feel like it'd be the dungeon in his canto) looking at him right now.
but oh boy can we still have an unreliable narrator. and hey, isn't it interesting that navy never expressly introduces himself as will navidson, but certainly doesn't go out of his way to challenge any assumptions that that's his first name?
#i: navidson#the implication here is that my navy is actually tom. the real will never left the l-corp facility.#basically a lot of distortions (heh) in their telling of things come to light when the sinners start getting close to the golden bough#deviates a bit from the inspiration's story beats but eh so do all the other cantos#idk if ill keep it but i thought it was a good idea
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I feel like when ppl say tim is neglected it makes his story more boring but I also acknowledge my interpretation of it is like. More ‘what feelings would make sense based on what happened’ as opposed to ‘how can I justify the abandonment issues I see everyone else saying he has?’
#like for me I think a big deal for tim is that he had it good and wanted more#and the guilt that comes from that as more people keep dying around him#his friends his family strangers HIS ENEMIES#which. not too much positivity but I really like the care tim has for his enemies SORRY#thats smth ill give him a 10 on#i hate ppl pretending it was there from the start#like tim had to kinda learn empathy but that’s mostly like. writer classism misogyny racism shining through#but when he got there HE GOT THERE!#I’ll give u a 9 on that#Uhm anyways for me every hero has a guilt complex somewhere#i think tims stems from his unfair (eh. depends) resentment of the people in his life listening to him and taking him seriously#not bc he doesn’t want to be listened to or taken seriously#but bc to him every single issue boils down to when he chose Robin over the good life he could’ve had which he would never CHANGE#but To me in his darkest moments he can’t help a ‘I would never let a kid do this’#and It’s like. he sees everyone else who arguably started worse off than he did and hates himself for choosing this#hed never choose otherwise but he wonders if everyone else sees him as the PRETENDER he is! yeah u see okay#that’s why replacement doesn’t hit for me btw#anyways I lost my train of thought#OH#this is why i dislike trying to give Tim tragic home life#like it wasn’t THE BEST but it wasn’t some terrible lonely tragedy#it was ok. he chose greatness and tragedy over okay and now he has to deal with it. he made that choice at 13 and now he has to deal with it#forever.#that should be the crux of his issues as an adult to me idk#but not forreal#i think he should be hyperfocusing on that to avoid the real truth that he doesn’t want to move forward bc big changes lead to death for him#but yknow diff story#i think I said smth in the post and spoke about smth completely diff in the tags#just pretend it’s two different posts.#this was a lot of tim positivity…I need a shower.
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#i keep thinking abt amth my therapust said#i was talkibg abt my continuing-to-develop-feelings for my irl . vs the weird clusterfuck of emotions i have for my ex#n the wrirdness i have abt it#anyway she was trying ti help n whatnot. but one thing she asked me was#'what if this with [Dacted] is enough for fuckass mcgee to come foreward' n om kinda . i hope not .#bc i may b a libra venus but if theres one thinf i dont like: its romance decisions. n ive alwys hated the idea of a being in a love triangl#just bc . someones going to get hurt. always . n i dpnt like tje idwa od two ppl being Inro me.#i mean i get it. its not from a place of low swlf worth bc i know ppl are into me and do like me#bur i Hatw the idwa of haing tk choose between tso ppl???#and its all hypothetical#but i do have a mini gut feeling tbat ill have to decide or make a decisio in regards to this anyway#terrified of the idea of being happy so keeping everything n rveryone at this weird middle ground#as if i can keep rhis up much longer bc i have a feeling if i dont budge ill b forced to budge#anyway .#shits fucked fuckass mcgee still on my ass abt my decisions#except hes not egen taljibg to me abt them. hes bitchibg to our mutual friends like. dawg fucling talk to me#im shitty w u bc u dont talk yo me. u shat over my olive branch n basically pretwnd i dont exist. why wouls i wanna ask u to hang out#ofc im gonna ask [dacted] bc were actually friends. u arw not my friwnd. i xan b civil but u made it clear thats Not smth u wany#for qwtv reason idc ? but im literally just followibg the code o was given . its laced w my own weird bitternnmess#that is slowly dippibg the more days pass actually byt . eh its whatwver#i dont hate being around him and i dont get mad when i have to be around him. its a mwh neutral feeling now.#ujless its just us teo n then i wanna bolt for the hills bc What is this energy between us here . im Incomfortable and idk if#its my own projection so slay ig
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every single day I wake up with this current 'Avalon is missing' storybeat happening I have to suppress the urge to make' Oh no sorry guys we where just hanging out' jokes. like yeah we've been hanging out for the past like 2 years. We're hanging out right now actually. We are going to cuddle in bed. or whatever
#avyposting hours. the real reason why i started going to bed earlier....#sorry I'm really fucking sappy right now augh#kissing her pretty face. who said that#okay yeah me when I am in fact a little bit ill. I need to go into my bed and cuddle up a lil ehe#like a slugcat to a shelter~#Android LitG Posting#Android.txt#oh actually I'm gonna hide this rant in the tags oho#I don't. get why people still think Avy is an evil scheming mastermind#like unless I'm having the wool pulled over my eyes yknow. the ending of LitG happened. She learned from that#she's shown to be learning from that at the start of Feel Less. so idk.#whatever happened to believing in character progression and that people can. change. what happened to that. aughhh#I will start mauling soon. <<< will almost definitely just keep my mouth shut
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WHY DOES TUMBLR KEEP THE UNFINISHED TAG WHEN I GO AND TAP THE TAG THAT I WANT
#paper is talking#Like ill type idk dunge and then tap on the dungeon meshi tag BUT THEN IT STILL KEEPS THE UNFISHD DUNGE TAG WITHT EH NEW TAG#Whyd they chagne it its so annoying
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