#why can i not be wife?????

[wildsaltair]

when the day comes that I stop posting on this blog, it will be because I have finally been swept away in marriage to Maximus Decimus Meridius and all my dreams have come true

[letsplaythermalnuclearwar]

Homer!Odysseus and Epic!Odysseus would try to kill each other if they ever met

[o3o-lapd-o3o]

people be wondering why there's no appearance from hades in any of the sagas, especially the underworld saga (even if he wasn't in the odyssey itself) i have a theory!

spoilers for vengeance saga and future ithaca saga!

do you not understand how busy that poor guy/god is during odysseus' terrible, horrible, no good, bad journey home™

first he has 7 freshly made pancakes men (14 if you count the club smash noises in survive, but we'll go with 7 for this) sent by chef polyphemus, appearing one after the other.

not long after that, you have 550 very soaked (drowned) men pop through in the blink of an eye, no thanks to his younger brother, mr ruthlessness himself, poseidon.

then while he's still counting/organising the paperwork for them, a young man appears, who happens to be very drunk (talking about pig men?)

not long after that, somehow a warship filled with mortal men breaks into the underworld, ALL ALIVE, and the (king? leader? captain? he's not too sure at this point) starts singing outside his front door about becoming a monster????? but before he can sic cerberus on them, they leave on their own

finally he thinks he has a break when 6 men holding torches (are some missing limbs?!?) have now joined the party down under (granted they're all in no mood to party, they weren't expecting to become snacks for a sea monster)

and just as quick as they'd arrived, in a flash (just like the snap of lightning that took them out) 36 crispy/fried men (gods damn it zeus) appear, weapons drawn like they were about to attack someone (how does that one guy at the front swing such a big sword?)

at this point hades is wondering what the fuck is happening upstairs, because ain't no way these 600 men are all from the same fleet/island under one guy's command (turns out the captain's name is odysseus)

he thinks his prayers are answered because he has had peace for 7 years, just the normal flow of souls into the underworld- (wait whats that chanting)

suddenly those previous 600 souls are flying their way outta the underworld (he didn't know they could do that) while singing "six hundred men! (six hundred)" on repeat

they return though (thank the gods, he didn't need to go soul hunting) and once again he thinks everything will be calm

(he also found out from zeus, that their brother got his godly-ass handed to him by that MORTAL odysseus! WHO USED HIS OWN WEAPON AGAINST HIM (something to help make him laugh over spring & summer and while he waits for his beautiful persephone to return home))

he finally thinks his time with odysseus and the souls that come from him/being around him is over. when in minutes of each other, the souls of 108 men appear, all killed in gruesome ways. then they tell him that they were killed by beggar who then revealed himself as king odysseus, from trying to marry his wife and take over his kingdom (ok very understandable murder then)

at this point hades doesn't know whether he's excited for, or dreading the day he actually meets odysseus in the distant future (yes distant, i don't care about/ don't accept the telegony. let the poor man enjoy the rest of his life with his son and wife!!!)

but yeah, understandable why you don't hear from him throughout the sagas

[schpeenor]

i NEEDED to make a doodle of spinarakidabi with some stupid ass post final war designs but they’re wearing wedding dresses and suits. of course i decided to put spinner in a suit, and shigaraki and dabi in wedding dresses. it was supposed to be utterly satire but the more work i put into this the less unserious it seemed. IM PROBABLY MISSING SOME SCARS (maybe on shigaraki and/or spinner but whatever)

ANYWAAAY, SPINNER’S SUIT IS TATTERED CAUSE HE RANDOMLY BODY BULKED. ITS JUST FUNNY!! THEY’RE A DYSFUNCTIONAL ASS THROUPLE!!!!

It was easiest to come up with a design and be delusional with dabi cause he for the most part lived, not so much for shigaraki. probably had something to do with them defeating afo’s quirk factor or whatever of afo that just popped up near the end - let’s say midoriya says something that makes tomura lock in, or he just thinks about spinner, some stupid cliche stuff like that, and that’s why he doesn’t die.

[ookikufurikabutte]

elliott save me. save me elliott. elliott.

[scyllas-dogs]

as you asked, and nothing more

[wasyago]

old men

[leucoratia]

My favourite loser scientist (we are legally married)

Handplates!Gaster by @zarla-s (thank you so much for this AU it has given me life for the past 6 years)

[born-in-neverland03]

Teen wants to see if Agatha can still drive after Wanda's hex: Okay, you're driving and Lilia and Jen walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit?

Agatha: Obviously Jen. Why would I want to hit Lilia?

Teen: Why would you want to hit Jen either?!

Agatha: ...

Teen: The correct awnser is the brakes Agatha. Again. What would you hit?

Agatha: Jen.

Teen: AGATHA!

[somereaderinblue]

Odysseus of Troy AU

Inspired by the Warrior!Penelope AU, @maggie44paint's Malewife Menelaus AU & @theblindgoddess + DaughterOfDungeonBat's Penelope of Troy AU.

So instead of Helen, Paris chooses Odysseus, thinking he's the safer option because he's just the king of small, barren Ithaca & super smart. Baby Telemachus is also spirited away as extra leverage.

Paris thinks he's being cunning, hoping this choice can somewhat ease Athena's wrath as well.

At first, Athena is furious....but then she gives the go-ahead for 3 reasons.

Odysseus will give Paris hell.

Hera will give Paris hell.

This one is important: Penelope will give Paris hell.

Paris tells himself he's doing Penelope a favour! Now she can find another, more powerful husband & have another kid with him. Plus, she's a woman with a tiny kingdom, it's not like she'll come knocking on Troy's walls.

Newsflash: a furious Penelope comes pounding on Troy's walls with a vengeance.

(Bonus if she isn't even being backed by Ares here. Oh no, all that unstoppable rage is 100% pure Penelope.)

In Olympus, Hera & Athena are cackling and high-fiving over a bucket of popcorn. In Troy, Ody is going full Mission Impossible, being a monster (rawr rawr rawr) to Paris, mapping out servant passages, calculating how much cloth it'll take to make a long enough rope & hoarding tiny paper scraps and crumbs for bird feeding.

He goes all: Yes, I need more clothes. It's not my fault my clothes keep ripping. *wink wink*. Oh, I'm not supposed to be here? Silly me, I'm hopeless without Athena's wisdom now! Look at the cute birdie, little wolf! *slips a message onto them while his son's buried under feathers*

Athena is very proud of her master liar.

Bonus:

Hector & Ody ironically become good friends because they're both dads and loving husbands. Hector tells himself he will NOT get attached to the man who's singlehandedly screwed him, his family & Troy over......only to pat the guy's back as he sobs for the nth time over missing his wife. It's hard not to empathize with him & feel a little sorry for the kid who doesn't even remember his mom.

And maybe when Hector senses that the end is coming, he & Andromache ask Ody to take Astyanax with him. He won't have a future in Troy, but it's better than no future, period.

Thus, Penelope returns to Ithaca with her family one member bigger than before.

[aesdi]

the tragedy of James and Mary Sunderland is one of the most heartbreaking and (most importantly) human stories I’ve ever had the joy in witnessing

[fumifooms]

another detail for bugliker shuro: in the chapter 60 cover, his succubus is falin with insect wings & legs! a little reminiscent of laios's tbh...

Oh my god you’re RIGHT…

Even at the most mosquito-like we see them be in canon they only have wings and hair-like antennas, not this full fit with collar and extra legs… The wings don’t look the same… Oh my god Toshiro’s ideal is a bug wife

[the-judicial-assistants-notebook]

Bonus [MASSIVE spoilers under the cut]:

[xxplastic-cubexx]

was talking to my brother the other day after i rewatched dark phoenix and he was like 'why is everyone so mean to charles in this movie?? were they always this mean to him ?? is it cause he's bald now- he lost his pretty privilege??' and i fear i havent recovered

[marasschino]

Finished oniisama e and will now launch myself off a cliff

[thesmokinpossum]

If My Body Could Speak, Blythe Baird | The Godfather, Mario Puzo | My Father's House, Sylvia Fraser | To The Daughter Who Secretly Longs For Her Mother’s Affection, Lynne Shako | Storms from Jupiter, Wanda Deglane | DO NOT REPLY, @filmnoirsbian