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polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup · 11 months ago

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what would megumi’s life have been if he was actually raised by the zenin from day one? like either gojo lost the custody battle or they were able to scoop him up before gojo ever reached them. i doubt they would want to keep tsumiki with them so she’s not there for little baby megs.

i think it would be really cool to see a zenin raised megumi interacting with his fellow classmates when he attends the school, not to mention the contrast between him and gojo. like on paper they both should have gotten the same treatment-being pampered and spoiled rotten but we also know that the zenin think that hurting little kids makes them stronger so it would be super interesting to see megumi realise that the stuff that happened to him wasn’t normal and for gojo to have a guilt trip bc he wasn’t able to help megumi when he needed someone to help him the most.

So I have a fanfic that I’ve half written (no idea if I’ll ever finish it—I’d love to, it’s just hard to find the time) about EXACTLY THAT that I talked about in this post for an ask game.

That being said, that entire thing happens from Tsumiki’s perspective, and I agree with you—I don’t think the Zenin would have ever actually taken her too. They don’t want her. She’s not Zenin. She’s not a sorcerer. They only bought Megumi. For the most part, Megumi is absent from that post, and you asked about Megumi. So this is what I think would happen on Megumi's side of that post I linked.

It comes down to two things:

1. He is never, ever happy with the Zenin.

2. He never lets go of his sister.

Megumi’s old enough to remember Tsumiki when the Zenin take him away. He's old enough to love her. And I think that Megumi loves very quietly, but he also loves very violently. He wouldn't let his sister hold his hand on the walk to school, but he would sacrifice himself for her future.

I think the Zenin took him from his sister, and I think he kicked and screamed and wasn't strong enough. I think they thought he would forget her eventually.

And then I think he bit most of the Zenin Clan.

At the end of the day, what Megumi wanted was the one thing the Zenin were not willing to give him. They were never like the Gojo clan, they were never going to pamper him, but there are a great many things in this world that they would give the Ten Shadows finally returned to them. But they would not give him a non-sorcerer, non-Zenin sister who would only be a weakness to him. They refused to let him have any contact with his sister, and that was the source of a lot of what soured.

Any Megumi that was taken in by the Zenin would have been taken in to Naobito's household directly. He would be announced as the one who finally inherited their most cherished technique, and he would be declared heir, and the Zenin would call him beloved for it.

They would keep him in a room that was large and empty and almost always dark, and he wouldn't be allowed to decide when he slept or woke, and the door would always be locked from the outside. They would give him a wardrobe of expensive clothes that he hated, and he would never get to pick which of them he wore.

Megumi would hate them. He would hate all of them.

He's just not the type to be comfortable with or enjoy the adoration of others--especially when it's not backed up by genuine love. Megumi is someone who very much values sincerity and depth to emotion--it's one of the reasons why he seems to respect Yuuji so much. Yuuji is a good person who follows through with what he says. He's not just going to talk about wanting to save people--he's there making the sacrifices as he does it.

The Zenin do not actually love him. And he knows it. He's experienced love before, and this isn't it.

They love the idea of him. The fantasy of him that lives in their heads. He has no interest in being their little god prince to contend with the Gojo's own. He knows who he is, and it's not this. He wants to go home. He wants to find his sister again. He doesn't want to do this anymore.

And I think that's a feeling Megumi never escape: he just didn't want to do this anymore.

Megumi would feel like a bug pinned beneath glass in the Zenin compound. He would constantly have people managing him--when he ate, what he ate, what he wore, when he slept, when he woke, when he trained, what he did. Having to become a jujutsu sorcerer signified an inherent loss of control, but it's nothing compared to the sheer objectification that he goes through when the Zenin have exclusive control over him.

He has no power of what clothes he wears. How his hair is styled. His schedule, his diet, the people he speaks too--he's suffocating and the Zenin are just increasing pressure on him.

I don't think Gojo ever thought that would be Megumi's life.

We’re gonna just have this imagining exist in the same world as the Tsumiki centric fic described in the linked post, and in that, the reason why Gojo never took him in was because he didn’t know Megumi had a sister. He showed up, saw the divine dogs, realized Megumi had the Ten Shadows, and decided he couldn’t do this. He was a mess. He was grieving Suguru and Haibara. Megumi looked just like the man who killed Riko, and apparently inherited the fucking Ten Shadows of all the goddamn things. The Zenin would lose their shit, and Gojo didn’t have the energy to fight and told himself he didn’t need to, because if Megumi was the Ten Shadows he’d be cared for like a prince with the Zenin. He turned around and left and spent the rest of his life with Megumi in the back of his mind, always nagging him with whether he made the right decision. It wasn’t until Maki got there and made a few worrisome references to Megumi's standard of living that he started to really worry that he had made the wrong one, and it wasn't until he found out about Tsumiki that he knew it was the wrong decision.

It's like this: The Zenin hurt Megumi in every world.

It would be bad no matter what, but it really gets bad because Megumi refuses to stop trying to get back to Tsumiki. She's his sister. They didn't have anyone or anything in this world, but they had each other, and he couldn't let these people just take her away. He’s feral about it. He refuses to fit the mold they keep trying to cram him in. He’s trying to scale the walls to escape. He’s increasingly desperate and angry and the Zenin are getting more and more frustrated the longer he fights them. He’s the heir to the clan, and he can’t stop trying to leave it to get back to some random girl who isn’t his real sister and isn’t someone they’ll ever allow him to have.

It gets bad.

They put him under increasingly strict levels of control. He’s constantly being trained, which means he's constantly being hurt. He’s not allowed to speak to anyone without the clan head’s approval. He is under absolutely constant guard after he manages to get over the wall and halfway to his old neighborhood before they catch him again. Tsumiki’s name is not allowed to be said aloud, or his old name. He forgets his name used to be Fushiguro, but he doesn’t forget Tsumiki. He doesn’t let himself.

I think it escalates until it hits a breaking point. Megumi becomes increasingly self-destructive and non-responsive to everything they try. They push him to extremes that start risking permanent damage.

I think Megumi would try to hurt himself, eventually.

He wouldn't be in his right mind. He's in the most shit situation possible. He's undergoing pretty severe abuse. He'd be at the end of his rope from the lack of control over his own life, and he'd be spiteful as hell towards the Zenin. And the only thing he has to hurt them with is himself.

As a character, Megumi has always considered his own sacrifice as an acceptable means to the end of getting back at someone. Mahoraga, intrinsically, requires him killing himself as a way of killing someone else. He'd hurt himself if it was the only way he had of hurting them.

Naobito would cover it up. He'd never, ever want the rest of the clan to find out that it happened. It was already bad enough that Megumi openly hated them--he couldn't have the Zenin seeing any vulnerability in what was meant to be their most powerful member. He'd put Megumi in total lockdown until he could make it all go away.

Then they'd make a deal.

A binding vow. Megumi could never purposefully hurt himself again. He could never again try to leverage his own safety against the clan.

And in exchange, Tsumiki would be taken care of.

The last time Megumi saw his sister, she was on a sinking ship. They were running out of food, money, options--he doesn't know if she even has food anymore. He doesn't know if she lost the apartment or if there's still running water.

They're not letting him see her. But they are letting him take care of her. He can sacrifice another piece of control over himself, and she'll never have to worry about money again. They'll pay for her housing, her food, her education, for her every desire for as long as she lives. The trust the Zenin set up for her will be a generous one, and it will be managed meticulously by a trustee who can make sure she'll be provided for until she's old and grey. And Naobito will vow to never hurt her or send someone else to hurt her. She'll be safe. She'll be taken care of.

Megumi makes the deal.

In the end, the deal's what sort of breaks him.

Because he doesn't promise to stop looking for her, but the Zenin manage to make it a part of the terms anyway. When they approach Tsumiki's mother with the offer to be her family's beneficiary, they include a requirement that Tsumiki be moved to another city entirely with no forwarding address given. She needs to be somewhere that Megumi can never find her again.

The Zenin keep the old apartment. They pay the rent every month. And the next time Megumi manages to make it off compound, they let him make it all the way there before dragging him home. They let him see the empty apartment with all its empty rooms.

Naobito wants him to know that Tsumiki's gone. He wants him to know that he'll never find her again.

He tries to run a few more times after that, but he never makes it very far. He doesn't have anywhere to go.

In the linked post, Megumi finds Tsumiki, just once. She's on a class trip. He's on one of his very few and far between allowed excursions off the compound grounds, and he sees her in the crowd and recognizes her, and he ducks away from his escort before anyone can stop him.

She remembers him. He didn't think she would do that.

She tries to save him. He didn't think she would do that either.

She still loves him. And he was always too afraid to hope she would do that.

It goes the same way it did the first time. There's a car, and the Zenin shove him in it. She's on the outside, and he's trapped within, and he wishes she didn't scream so loudly when it happens. The sound never seems to leave his dreams.

His sister still loves him. Naoya hits him in the back of the head. He wakes up, and it was like she was never there at all.

But they hit him harder, after. Like they're trying to beat the memory of her out of him. He has even less freedom, when he already had next to none at all.

But he still has a sister. He has a place to go that isn't here. He just has to figure out where that is.

He wouldn't really have anyone in the Zenin clan. Most people are just... weird about him. Naoya's violently abusive. Naobito's weird and violently abusive. Everyone wants him to be someone he's not.

Maki would be his favorite.

He doesn't care about whether she's got cursed energy--his sister didn't have any. And she's obviously strong. She doesn't treat him like a divine blessing or try to force him to act a certain way. I think they would have genuinely liked each other, but kept each other at a distance. They're both trapped in an abusive situation and keep themselves safe by keeping everyone else at arm's length.

He would have been happy to see her get out, though. He would have told her that she could have his spot as heir or head or whatever when she came back if she wanted it. She would have told him that if he ever got out... well, fuck it. They could be something then. Family. Whatever the fuck they weren't allowed to be here.

She would have told him she's sorry, and she would have meant it. The only one she she regretted more than Megumi was Maki. He would have told her not to be, that if she dared to be sorry for getting out that he would never forgive her, and he would have meant that too.

I think his relationship with his own techinque would be very different in a world where the Zenin raised him. In canon, his issue is that he doesn't view himself as someone who could be powerful or win in the long run, but in this world, all he ever hears is how powerful he is. Pride of the fucking Zenin. The most powerful of them in centuries. Meant to rival Gojo fucking Satoru himself.

I think his real issue would be controlling it.

His technique would be a source of negative associations for him. It's the reason why the Zenin took him away. Most of his interactions with it have involved getting beaten and hurt by either his family or a high-level curse they shoved him in front of. I think he'd have a lot more firepower under his belt than at the start of canon, but he'd have less of a fine tuned control over it.

He lost control over his own life because of his shadows. It think that would manifest in struggling to control his own shikigami at times. he's not as in-sync with them as he is in canon.

Eventually, he'd go to Jujutsu High. He would be the only one in the first year class at the beginning, just like in canon. And he'd finally meet Gojo Satoru, the man he's supposed to topple.

He looks at Megumi really goddamn weird.

He's... enthusiastic. About. Teaching. He guesses. And constantly asking prying questions about the Zenin, but not in the sort of way he'd expect from a rival. In the sort of way he'd expect from someone concerned about him. Which is stupid. And annoying. And weird. He keeps a distance from everyone. They've all heard about the Zenin clan heir, and he has no interest in having to fit or break whatever mold they've already cast him in. He's better off on his own.

Maki's there. She's cordial where other people can see it, and in private, she takes care of him in a way that's terrifyingly close to familial. He's not sure if he likes it. He's not Mai, and she's not Tsumiki, and they both want someone they can't have.

She isn't sorry she left. She is sorry she left him. He can hate her for it all he goddamn pleases.

Of course, if this is in the same world as the linked post, Megumi finds Tsumiki again. He finds her in Sendai.

He gets to keep her, this time.

Gojo Satoru, of all the goddamn people, intervenes and becomes his sister's benefactor. It's super fucking weird. He won't stop looking at Megumi strangely. He won't stop insisting that he didn't know he had a sister, like that matters.

That would sort of be the first time in a long time that life actually gets better for Megumi.

I think he would ask to go by Fushiguro again, once he asks Tsumiki what his name used to be. He'd ask her if she minded it, him taking the name again, and he'd ask the rest of the school to call him Fushiguro instead of Zenin.

Predictably enough, Naobito loses his shit when he finds out, but it's not nearly as big of a pain in the ass as he thinks it is? Because Gojo intervenes.

Gojo keeps intervening.

It drives Megumi nuts, because if anyone was supposed to hate him, it was this guy. If anyone was supposed to be against him, it was this guy. This is the guy he was supposed to rival. This is the guy who killed his shitheel bio dad.

Gojo's just... good to him. He keeps him safe. He keeps him safe from his own goddamn family, and that's--no one's ever done that. No one's ever protected him from the Zenin.

The Zenin try to remove him from the Tokyo campus and move him to Kyoto the second they find out Tsumiki's there, and Gojo just... says no. It causes an uproar, and he doesn't fucking budge. It's treading dangerously close to him kidnapping the Zenin clan heir, his refusal to let them remove him from the Tokyo campus, and he doesn't care about whatever problems it causes him.

Megumi's his student. He doesn't want to leave. So Gojo won't let them take him.

He personally goes to Kyoto and collects him, the one time the Zenin force him into a car and move him when Gojo's off on a mission. He tells the higher ups to get fucked. He changes Megumi's student I.D. to read Fushiguro, and he causes problems for Yaga and the assistants until they start calling him Fushiguro as well.

Megumi's different with the other students once his sister is there.

He's more connected with them. He becomes best friends with Kugisaki and Itadori. He gets closer with the second years. He's visibly happier, and it sort of casts in sharp contrast how unhappy he was before this.

And Gojo? Gojo's so goddamn sorry. He didn't know megumi had a sister.

The thing is that now that both Tsumiki and Megumi are on campus, it sort of haunts Gojo with what could have been. They're both fantastic kids--funny, smart, resourceful. And it's painful watching them try to rebuild what was taken from them. And it could have just. never happened. Because he could have saved them both. He could have been their family.

It's sort of painfully obvious the Zenin abused Megumi, and it fucking haunts him. He doesn't even have to read into Megumi's behavior--he sees it happen, right in front of him, with how they try to control him and push him around. He wants to kill them for it. He wants to hate himself for it. He could have saved Megumi and he just. He didn't.

He wishes he did.

#jjk #fushiguro megumi #fushiguro tsumiki #gojo satoru #zenin clan #zenin maki #also featuring in this au: itadori absolutely torn because his best friend's long lost brother is extremely pretty and he HAS to be in #violation of some kind of bro code. the boy is in crisis. there he is. enrolled in fucking wizard school. his best friend tsumiki finally #found her long lost brother. said long lost brother proceeds to give him his gay awakening. he's fucking sweating. kugisaki stop laughing #gojos latent desire for fatherhood has been violently awakened in this and no one is safe. he's everyone's dad now. no one wants this.#yuuta in africa: sensei it's three am why are you calling is everyone oka--what do you mean what color do I want you to paint my room. what #room. what are you talking about.#yuuta keeps getting the weirdest goddamn updates from japan and he thinks he's having a stroke. what do you mean zenin-kun is fushiguro-kun #and he has a fucking long lost sister and gojos possibly going to gently kidnap him. is it kidnapping if he wants it too but the people who #has custody of him doesn't. what do you mean he needs to come back and help maki kill her entire family. maki explain your words explain #yes word of god megumi is also yuutas boy in this one i decide this for no other reasons than i want this #it's not the same way as in sea glass gardens. Maki just said some worrying things when yuuta first met him and he decided to keep an eye #out for him. he didn't seem all that happy. and he seemed alone. yuuta didn't want him to be.#megumi's sort of blindsided because he went from being raised in a clan where he was barely a person to having a bunch of medically insane #people decide that his wellbeing was their personal crusade. like. no one ever cared about /him/ before this. they just wanted their idea #but not who he really was. he felt like he was screaming and no one could hear it. then suddenly these people he barely knows are like #okay so we're going to punch your shitty bio uncle and also set his car on fire. yes we will call you by the name that makes you most #comfortable. yes we will help you get a new wardrobe full of clothes you're actually comfortable in.#he hadn't heard his own name in years. he's just been the ten shadows. never fushiguro. only rarely megumi.#everyone calls him fushgiuro at the school. his sister calls him megumi. he sort of wants to cry about it but he doesn't.#his shitty uncle shows up and makes a big stink about him being called zenin and inumaki and panda keyed his car. is this what love is.#is it a keyed car.#Low key he does NOT know what's going to happen the first time the school goes on break because gojo keeps making comments about how #megumi's not going back to the zenin compound and he says it like a joke but. he may not be joking. is he not joking. is. is megumi being #kidnapped. again. this is getting statistically improbable. did gojo just. decide. to keep him. when did that happen.

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formulafics · 3 months ago

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just found out williams dropped logan for the rest of the season. saddest day for the logangsters

#logangsters said ironically #so why are my eyes sweating haha

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northsealight · 10 months ago

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Hey, when you said RHATO Jason is the worst version on your last ask, were you referring to the first comic, second comic, or the Webtoon? (Honestly annoyed the Webtoon took that name, makes things even more confusing)

I have problems with all 3 (Webtoon most of all for sure, with the second and first switching places behind it based on what characters or plots I’m thinking about tbh), but I was just curious haha

oh. oh. oh you're not ready for this. I've been trying this entire week to find a good time to air out my thoughts:

so! in my opinion (again, this is not shaming anyone for liking what they like! if you happen to like RHATO!jason all the more power to you! dont read this!) all three reiterations of RHATO!Jason .. are not great. the one I think might have potential to be salvaged is the second one with Artemis and bizarro! (although roy harper is in my heart of hearts)

the way Jason is written in rhato... the rhato written by Scott Lobdell anyway, (who is actually a sexual predator and when you start to think even a LITTLE about how the women are written in RHATO makes so much sense) portrays Jason as yet another cookie cutter anti-hero-deadpool-esque personality who's mainly confined by the narrative restraints of his character.

I say this because hes so.... the way he goes about his vigilantism is so .. shallow. It's like the narrative is finding excuses to make him violent so the reader can be stimulated with Michale Bay explosions lol. You hardly see any stories in there where Jason is an actual champion for the people, and you hardly see his background as a street kid come into play... its like... he became... a vigilante because....he knows how the system can fail those... alienated and forgotten by those sworn to protect them... and thus channels his energy into said people through acts of radical protection... (also because the whole bruce thing yeah I know)

I keep thinking about injustice!Jason's monologue where he literally says something along the lines of "while bruce and clark were fighting I fought for the people who were being caught up in the whole thing" like if that doesn't just tell you who he is idk what will! and sure, injustice isn't Jason source material, so look at under the red hood! he literally becomes a drug kingpin TO CONTROL crime ... and then instead of getting these immense shows of care he has for the community in RHATO, we get panels like this:

like ok get it I guess 😭😭😭😭

this is the new and improved Jason!! he's suave.. hes American... he's... just like every other antihero now!!

I don't know how to explain it without sounding like an idiot- best bet is to read the comics yourself to kinda get what im saying! but even rebirth Jason is (kind of) getting what RHATO Jason doesn't-- he's a product of his huge heart. rebirth Jason has countless stories where we see how Jason ACTUALLY operates as red hood, and what his symbol means to the citizens of Gotham!

if you pour too much grit and "edginess" into Jason, then you kind of miss what he's all about- he can still be silly and sarcastic! in fact, one of my favorite Jason moments is from red hood: lost days, a series where he's portrayed as an edgy, "misfit" ruffian:

like. hello this is hilarious. and we can still have moments like these while balancing his emotional range as a vigilante that's motivated by his big fat heart! (ignoring the fact that he slept with Talia in the next issue 😭 Jason fans can't have shit 😭)

but anyway! ill likely add more when I'm not feeling so tired, but god!! is it so hard to show Jason's propensity for kindness!! is it so hard to realize that his character to the core is revolved around a deep understanding for others based on personal experience!!

there's a reason why DC (in the rare moments when they know what to do with his character) always writes stories with Jason consoling children, or Jason being good with kids in dangerous situations!

it's because he's been there before. he's felt the grief and confusion of being helpless in a situation of his control. he's felt the consequences of adults who were supposed to protect and raise him! he's been killed for daring to cling on to the notion of trust even after all he's been through!

and I don't know, I think his dedication to the people, children especially, is his way of forgiving himself- his way of telling little Jason that it wasn't his fault.

#I went a little crazy midway through but I hope this answers your q!#and I hope it makes sense. I swear im more coherent when I have my thoughts together #the last panel actually makes me sob god above what the hell is that and why are my eyes sweating #Jason robin :(((((#Jason todd #vee's soapbox #asks #thank you for the question btw!! I love answering qs like this #batman #red hood and the outlaws #under the red hood #red hood lost days #red hood

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superbattrash · 9 months ago

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Sometimes I see a take so bad that I have to physically put my phone down and do breathing exercises to make sure I do not become One Of Those People

Everybody is entitled to their own opinion, everybody is entitled to their own opinion, everybody is entitled to their own opinion eVEN WHEN IT IS SO FUCKING WRONG

#chewing on my own arm rn #but why does he get so much hate? he’s just�� HE IS THE FUCKING DEVIL. SPLITTING A FAMILY UP JUST BECAUSE HE SUDDENLY FEELS LIKE BEING A DAD #HE ABANDONED THEM. ABANDONED!!!!!!! LEFT THEM IN DEBT AND WITH THE ABUSIVE FUCKING ASSHOLE #HE DROVE EUIHYUN TO THE BRINK OF FUCKING DEATH BECAUSE HE COULDNT BE BOTHERED TO TAKE CARE OF HIS OWN KID #Oh but no sure let’s bitch on Taeju instead because he’s tHe wOrSt #boy CHANGED. and he has APOLOGIZED #REPEATEDLY BITCH.#cried his eyes out. found euiyoung. gives them a safe place to live #takes care of them BOTH….#I’m not saying the shitty ass dad can’t see eiuyoung but he went about it all fucking wrong. he abandoned them and then separates them #and has the fucking audacity to point out how shitty euihyun’s life is… MOTHERFUCKER WHOSE FAULT IS THAT PARTLY HUH????#he could’ve left if he didn’t have euiyoung. who YOU ABADONED AS SOON AS HE WAS BORN #GRRRRRRRRR #FUCK. I AM SWEATING I AM SO ANGRY #misha rants

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kdramamilfs · 1 year ago

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simone kessell as belle james in pine gap (2018) - episode 2 (2/2)

#simone kessell #simonekesselledit #pine gap #WAIT. for the first time in months its letting me post gifs over 5mb? nice #her sad brown eyes......... i'm going to do sth drastic #THE SHEEN OF SWEAT IN THE LAST ONE MAAM I HAVE A TONGUE IF YOU WANT THAT CLEANED UP #also the lip bite. same as lottie primal feelings fake therapy scene so i am normal (lie)#also dont ask me why i'm making pink gifs tonight it was the first colour i landed on and i liked it #the way that i singlehandedly decided its my purpose to gif simones whole (recent) filmography djfhsfs #i say recent bc. the eyebrows. sorry but that was a crime i wont put that on my blog even if its her #my post #*m.gif

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notfreetoday · 2 years ago

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Guilt is a parasite that feeds on Team and eats away at him from the inside. It's the reason for Team's insecurity, his lack of self-worth and his difficulty with accepting affection. He doesn't stand up for himself, doesn't believe in himself, doesn't for a second think he's worth fighting for. Win promised to be there for him, but Team doesn't even remember it, because he's never placed any weight in those words. What is there to "be there for"? Team? But Team is lazy, is stupid. Unless it's about swimming, Team doesn't see himself as good for anything.

Because Team's Guilt erases him.

Like his mother says, Team must learn to forgive himself - but knowing is different from understanding. Just like his aunt, Team has not moved on from his trauma. He is not ready to forgive himself, because forgiveness is hard. Forgiveness means letting go of the chance to make things right. It means facing up to the fact that the slate will never actually be wiped clean, that the wounds and the hurt you caused will never ever be undone. No, punishment is much easier, because serving punishment offers us the illusion of righting our wrongs. Maybe one day, when Team's worked hard enough, P'Ton will forgive him. Maybe one day, his Aunt will smile at him again. Maybe, just maybe, if Team's been punished enough then one day the score will be settled and Team will finally have earned the right to live for himself.

And so until he has paid his dues, the only thing Team's Guilt permits him to do is to struggle to stay afloat. To make his entire life so far be about trying to make up for what he's done, about trying to fulfill P'Ton's dream and his promise. He brings his gold medal to P'Ton's grave, but all that greets him is silence and emptiness.

"Are you still mad at me? Have you forgiven me?" Team has asked these questions so many times he probably doesn't even notice the gaping hole inside him filled with tears. Except this time, he's faced with his Aunt's grief and her inability to move on from her son's death and somehow her lack of condemnation seems even harder to bear and suddenly the bandages Team's so carefully placed on all his wounds have now come undone and they bleed anew as the guilt and shame of living crashes down on him once more.

This time, Team doesn't even bother directing his anger through P'Ton anymore - he cuts directly into himself, because it has never been P'Ton who was angry at him; it has always been Team himself. Team is angry that he lived and P'Ton died, that nothing he does will ever be enough, and ashamed that he even thinks it might be. Because how dare he? How dare he try to live for himself when he's already stolen the very air that he breathes?

But that's just it - Team still tries to survive. He still makes friends, he still asks for affection, he still reaches out to Win, like a sunflower reaching toward the sun, because he shamelessly wants to live even as he knows he doesn't deserve to. Even as he knows he should be struggling and suffering and doing everything he can to make up for just how wrong he is, Team still wants to live. And that's why he calls Hia Win. Because it was Win who breathed life into him again, who gave Team permission to live when he pulled him out of the pool and made Team promise never to endanger himself again.

And so in that moment when Hia comes to him in the cemetery, the headlights of his motorbike quite literally shining a light on Team in the darkness of the pouring rain - in that moment Team no longer denies himself his claim to life.

He turns and his voice cracks and even the timbre of his sobs change as he starts crying in earnest, like how a scared, lost child does when they're finally found. He clutches at Win and leans into him, calling out to him as if afraid Hia will somehow miss him and Guilt will once again twist around his leg and drag him down below.

And so when Hia tells him "Let's go back home" Team turns away from Ton's grave and into Hia's embrace, because Hia promised, and now Team remembers.

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junosartsthetic · 2 years ago

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A Bizarre Beginning

This is the 2k word first place fic won by @strawberrystepmom in my 600 followers celebration event.

Warning(s): Swearing, that’s basically it, this is a meet-cute sort of fic that is more like 2.5k than 2 but I got carried away, oh also this is post-part 3 but pre-part 4 mid-twenties joot, and he is still in his emo phase because i said so

You weren’t sure how you got into this situation in the first place—it was bizarre, to say the least, but you couldn’t bring yourself to regret it. It was the opposite, in fact, you wanted nothing more than to stay where you were for the rest of your life.

It all began when you met the love of your life—Jotaro Kujo. You were fresh out of college, with a bright future in your, well, future. You were ecstatic to achieve such a large goal on your road to normalcy. All your life you’d grown up with something strange always lurking around you. . . something nobody else spoke of. It was like it was invisible to everyone but you, though you knew you weren’t crazy. It was a humanoid figure, though more alien-looking than human. You could tell it to come and go, but it didn’t do much else besides hover around. Eventually, you accepted your fate, to be forever bonded to the bizarre entity, and ignored it as much as you could. It didn’t bother you nowadays, especially now that you had a normal future ahead of you.

That’s when you met him. The man who saw your companion.

It was a normal run-in—walking the aisles of a supermarket, your ever-hovering entity trailing behind you as you grabbed your groceries. You had spotted him at the end of the aisle in a large black coat, a similar colored hat upon his head. He looked rather handsome—at least from where you were standing, so you quietly slid closer, pretending to browse for nothing in particular.

You searched your mind for something clever or interesting to say to him, but had nothing. It was strange—you would normally never approach someone like this, but it was like something beyond your reach lured you closer. You couldn’t help yourself. You had to talk to him.

“Hey,” he suddenly spoke, deep voice spooking you. You jumped lightly, taking a step back. He didn’t look at you, but instead stared at the two items in his hand. Two cans of soda. “Cherry or vanilla?”

You tilted your head, though of course he didn’t see. Deciding not to question why he was asking a stranger for advice on fizzy beverages, you answered him. “Cherry-vanilla,” you said, grabbing the aforementioned can off the shelf. You held it out for him to grab. “It’s the best of both.”

He set the cans down, looking over to grab the soda, when his eyes widened ever so slightly. He leaned back stiffly, guarding himself as he stared you down. “Call off your stand before things get ugly,” he threatened, an entity materializing beside him. You gasped.

His spirit looked completely different than yours—a muscular, scantily clad god-of-a-man with long black hair and piercing eyes. It locked eyes with you, unblinking. You beckoned your own companion beside you. “You can see it, too?” you whispered. “And you have a spirit of your own.”

“They’re called stands. And they’re manifestations of your soul.” His stance relaxed slightly. “I’m assuming by your reaction you’ve never met another stand-user before.”

“I always assumed I was alone,” you said. “There’s others out there like me—well, like us?”

“Yeah. Too many, if you ask me.” He grabbed the cherry-vanilla soda from your hand, popping it open as he gestured you to follow him. “Follow me. I’ll tell you what you need to know.”

You did as told, trailing behind as he walked out of the store, chugging the soda down before tossing in the trash bin outside. “You gonna pay for that?” you questioned, glancing behind you at the clueless cashier.

“I doubt a can of soda will bankrupt ‘em. Now let’s get a move-on. I don’t have all day to play teacher.”

“Get a move-on where? I don’t even know you.” You stopped, watching as he opened the door to his car. He rolled his eyes, as though your legitimate concerns were petty questions that didn’t need answered. Still, he spoke up.

“Jotaro Kujo. And we’re heading back to my apartment. I’m not standing in a grocery store revealing sensitive information.” He gestured to the passenger door from his side. “Get in.”

“Great,” you muttered sarcastically, popping the door open and slipping inside. “This is definitely not a stupid and dangerous idea. Sure. Why not?”

“Stop talking to yourself. If you think it’s so stupid then why’d you follow me out here?” He started up the engine, pulling out of the parking lot. He turned up the radio slightly. Punk-rock played through the speakers. You two had the same taste in genre, you noted. At least if he was going to kill you, you’d die listening to decent music.

“Because I care more about answers than my wellbeing,” you replied honestly, arms crossed as you stared out the window. “My whole life I’ve never seen anyone like me. Then I suddenly run into you at a grocery store I decide to visit for the first time? It’s. . . bizarre.”

“Stand users are more common than you’d think. But even so, the likelihood of bumping into each other. . .” he trailed off, brows furrowed in concentration. His hands gripped the steering wheel, fingers occasionally tapping against it. “It’s like we’re all magnets. . .”

“Would you mind elaborating? How do you know so much about all this, anyway?”

He shot you a glare. “Damn it. I’m trying to think here!” You locked eyes with him, returning the dirty look tenfold. It’s not like it was your fault for getting coerced into a stranger’s car. Well. . . it may have been a little bit of stupid curiosity on your part, but to pass up the opportunity to get answers about the being that’s haunted you since you could remember? That wasn’t going to happen. You couldn’t let someone like yourself slip through your fingers. You had to know what he had to say.

“You told me you’d give me answers, Kujo.” You clicked your tongue. “But fine. I’ll shut up. . . for now.”

The rest of the ride was silent, save for Jotaro muttering under his breath. When he finally pulled into a nice apartment complex, you tore out of the car. You were halfway to the building before he’d turned it off. You stood on the concrete sidewalk, leaning on either foot anxiously.

He walked past you, heading up the stairs. You followed swiftly behind, careful not to step on his coat. Why was he wearing such a large jacket, anyway? It was rather hot out. If he was trying to make a statement, he should’ve gone with white. It would contrast his hair better.

You brushed off your odd thoughts, instead watching as he finally stopped at a door, swinging it open. He didn’t bother to welcome you inside, just leaving it open as he slipped his shoes off. You followed in, shutting the door behind you. You took your shoes off, setting them neatly against the entryway wall. You almost left them on in case you needed to sprint out of there, but your common courtesy forbade it.

“Alright. Now answers,” you said, taking a seat on the plush brown couch in the living area. He stood in the kitchen—the open floor plan allowing you to watch him as he dug a soda out of the fridge. He tossed a can to you. Well, more like at you.

“Would you give me a second? Good grief, you’re impatient.”

You barely caught it before it hit the window behind you. You looked at the label. Cherry-vanilla. Why did he ask you about your soda opinion in the first place if he already had. . . it didn’t matter. You popped it open, taking a sip. “I came here to talk about why the hell you and I have strange entities permanently tied to our bodies and how we managed to run into each other despite the likelihood of that happening being next to zero. Not to sip soda and have small talk.”

He finally took a seat across from you in a comfortable looking loveseat, popping open another soda. “I hear you. Jesus, woman, give me a break.”

You huffed. “Just tell me what you know, please.”

“Look.” He took his hat off, setting it on the coffee table. He propped his feet next to it. If you were his mother you’d scold him for that. “This whole thing started with my great-great-grandfather and his asshole step-brother. It’s a long story.”

Your eye twitched. You glanced over at your spirit—or stand as Jotaro called it—that was lingering beside you. “Any way you can start a little closer to the present day? Like how you managed to control your ‘stand’ like you did? All mine does is sort of hover around.”

Jotaro’s stand appeared once more, standing next to the seat. “I call him Star Platinum. All you need to do is focus on controlling it. It’s part of you. Like moving a limb.” Star Platinum punched the air a few times before letting out a swift and rather quiet, “ora”. You blinked. His could even talk? Well. . . make sounds was a better word for it, but it still surpassed your own stand, who was barely more than a semi-permeable puppet. You turned to face your entity. You examined its every detail, studying it like it was your own body. You imagined it moving its hand to pick up your soda, now discarded on the coffee table. It did nothing. You grunted, focusing harder. You concentrated with everything you had. It’s your hand. It’s your hand. It’s your hand. Move. Move. Move—

Your stand’s fingers twitched, before its whole arm came alive. It moved robotically, but with purpose. Grasping the soda can, it picked it up, handing it to you. You took the soda. You sipped the sweet beverage smugly. You did it.

“Good to know you’ll be safe next time you visit a vending machine,” Jotaro ridiculed, a barely noticeable smirk on his face.

“Shut up,” you shot back. “Anyway, what does some distant relative have to do with all this?”

“To save time, all you need to know is that the asshole step-brother became a vampire, stole my ancestor’s body, and led an army of stand users to kill my grandfather and I as we tried to save my mother from becoming victim to her own stand. Other people joined us too but they’re not important right now. They have stands as well. So does my grandfather. We killed the vampire—Dio—but stand users keep appearing, and we don’t know why.”

You resisted the urge to spit up your soda laughing. He had to be joking. Did he really think you were that stupid? Body-snatching? Vampires? This wasn’t a movie or some bizarre television show. Those so-called ‘creatures of the night’ weren’t real.

“It sounds fake,” Jotaro said, breaking your unbelieving silence. “It’s not. You know stands exist. They don’t make sense, either.”

“Fine,” you accepted. “Let’s say your little bizarre adventure is true. That still doesn’t explain how we could’ve possibly met each other. I’m not even supposed to be in this town. I took the wrong bus.” You relaxed your elbows onto your knees, leaning forward. “What’s the answer to that?”

“I don’t know,” he confessed, crunching his now-empty can. He threw it behind himself haphazardly. It landed into the bin perfectly. You wondered how long it took for him to do that.

“Well. What about your grandfather or the people you mentioned?” you asked. “Do they know anything?”

“Half of those people died on the trip. My grandfather’s in no shape to do much of anything. And Polnareff is already scouring aimlessly with no answers.”

“Oh.” You glanced at the wooden floor awkwardly. “Sorry for your loss.”

“All you need to do now is put your stand away, lay low, and watch out for anyone who may be a stand user,” Jotaro said, quickly changing the subject. “Not everyone who has a stand is an upstanding citizen. They can and will use them for evil.”

“Are there more stand users around here?” you questioned. “I guess if we’re all attracted to each other like magnets, there’s bound to be more.”

“Exactly. Which is why you need to learn to use your stand for more than picking up soda.”

“I get it,” you said, waving off his taunts. You stood up from the couch, walking towards where he sat. “I’ll keep in touch. For now, I’m going back home. I’ve had enough information for one day. Gimme a paper and I’ll jot down my number.”

He stood up, and you stepped back. You forgot just how tall he was for a second there. You wondered how many doorframes he’d hit in his lifetime.

Jotaro grabbed a pad of paper and a pen from off the kitchen counter, tossing it to you. You really did not enjoy the amount of throwing this man did. You managed to catch the pen and paper though, though it wasn’t your hands that held the objects, but your stand’s.

“You’re catching on fast,” he said, leaning against the counter, elbows holding him up. “Not bad.”

You ignored the sudden warmth of your cheeks, instead scribbling down your information before tossing the paper and pen back. “There. I put my name on there too since you didn’t have the decency to ask for it.”

With that, you slipped your shoes back on, swinging open the apartment door and walking out.

Jotaro watched you leave, a gleam in his eye and an embarrassed smirk on his face. As much as he hated to admit it, he was looking forward to seeing you again. Even if you were loud and snarky and matched his quips blow-for-blow. As strange and unexplained the attraction between stand users could be, he had a decent idea about why he was drawn to you.

He was never one for romance—he’d skipped all his school dances and after-school parties—but there was just something about you. He glanced at your unfinished soda placed on the coffee table. What a stupid way to talk to a woman. Cherry or vanilla? Though he supposed he did manage to get you home in one day. He must’ve done something right.

He looked to his side, examining Star Platinum’s giddy expression. As much control as he had in his stand, he could never get Star to calm his unwaveringly unhidden emotions.

He scoffed, shaking his head. “Good grief. My idiot grandfather would be ashamed.” How’d that old man act so charismatic all the time?

Meanwhile, after you’d finally made it back home after hours of taking public transportation, you collapsed into your comfortable bed, thinking about the man you’d met that day. You couldn’t get him out of your head. Even after all the information you’d received, all you could picture was Jotaro’s stoic expression as he spoke, black hair falling into his face without his hat to keep it up. He intrigued you. Not only because he was the first person you’d ever met with a power like yours, but also because of his demeanor. There was something more to his stoic nature. And you couldn’t wait to discover it.

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