#why am i always asking why and why cant i just do one thing at a time?

[seokmn]

FAILURE

pairing: dokyeom x gn!reader

wc: 0.6k words

lua’s note: maybe this fic is a bit specific because its kinda a vent. i wanted to get this out of my chest somehow and decided to post it because maybe there’s someone who’s going through the same thing as me and need to read these words. essa vai pros que so fizeram o enem e vestibulares de faculdades publicas e nao passaram pra segunda fase deles e agora precisam esperar a nota do enem pra meter no sisu ou prouni 😛

another instagram story you viewed, another text with those three cursed words you read and another ‘congratulations, lets celebrate it!’ you had to write as a reply for that text. you sighed, placed your phone on your lap and hid your face with your hands.

the only thing that comes to your mind right now is the word failure. you failed and now you have to watch other people celebrate their accomplishments.

seokmin heard your sigh and turned around to look at you, taking sight of your disappointed figure. he stopped cooking, dropping the knife and washing his hands before sitting down next to you on the couch. his hand rested on your thigh, a way to try to comfort you without words being said. he already had an idea about why were you like that. “another one?”

you hummed and stopped hiding your face. you looked at him with a small smile and nodded. “another one,” you looked down and took his hand before looking back at him, trying to sound and look okay. “another friend of mine was accepted at the university she wanted.”

seokmin let out a quiet sigh and rubbed his thumb against the back of your hand. he didnt say anything, already knowing you’d keep venting about it to him. “im happy for her, i really am. but i cant help but ask myself: is this it? am i going to stay behind while all my friends will go to college and live their lives? am i too dumb to go to college?” your lips began to tremble and your voice was cracking, “and i hate myself for feeling this way, i hate to compare my life to theirs and not being able to be happy for them without feeling miserable about my situation. they studied a lot for this and they deserve it, but i studied as well. is it something wrong with me?”

seokmin frowned and placed your head against his chest. “theres nothing wrong with you,” he began to caress your head, trying to soothe you. “you said yourself that this year took a toll on you because of studies, trying to be sure about your future and trying to find an university that youd like the thought of studying there. do your things in your own pace. you not being accepted in any university until now doesnt mean youre a failure, you cant be accepted in any university yet because you gotta wait your results of the national exam come out.”

he cupped your cheeks and pulled you away from his chest so you could look at each others eyes. “listen to me, you are not a failure, okay? you just graduated from high school, youre so young and you have so much things to do. take your own time, that doesnt mean youre staying behind. that means you’re building your own path.”

you nodded as he brushed your tears away with his thumb. listening to his words was like being hugged by your mother after spending a whole day away from her when you were a little kid, was like being kissed by the wind while watching the sunset at the beach with a loved one.

seokmin always knew how to comfort you, how to make you realize youre not being fair with yourself and that you should be way kinder with yourself because you are loved and are capable of doing anything.

“dont forget about that,” he kissed your forehead and stood up, looking at you with love in his eyes and that comfy smile that no one else but him could smile like that. “now help me to cook. we’re going to eat a delicious meal and then spend the rest of the day watching your favorite sitcom”

[moon-mine679]

INTRO POST!! (finally) YIPPEEE

Basic stuff is here, and underneath the cut is more things

Name: Luna

Age: Will not disclose, but I am a minor

Pronouns: She/they

Sexuality: Bisexual!! (or pansexual. ive heard that bisexual is really pansexual so idk..)

DNI: Um. Gross people. Thats really it LMFAO..

Asks are closed for now, but I'll open them after new years!! sorry..

Btw: im a jirai kei girl. there WILL be triggering stuff here (sh, ed, uncomfortable topics), but I will also post about other things, such as my interests!

I CANT TALK TO PEOPLE!!! PLEASE IM SO SORRY I LOVE SO MANY OF YOU BUT I CANT TALK FOR THE LIFE OF ME WITHOUT SOUNDING AWKWARD ╥﹏╥ but thats why im putting my interests!! idc if you send asks, multiple in a row, or anything like that. but please know that i do send multiple texts in a row if you are going to message me

Interests:

Project sekai

Lego Monkie Kid

Pokemon

Needy streamer overload

Hookah haze

Love angel syndrome

Oshi no ko (i do not like the incest things.) (i feel like i have to clarify cause weirdos think thats all that its about)

Genshin Impact

Honkai impact 3rd

Fire Emblem (Three houses specifically)

Nier Automata (have to play replicant)

killer in love

i wanted to be hurt by love

pop team epic

alien stage

panty and stocking

case study of vanitas

murder drones

final fantasy (4 + 6 specifically)

the amazing digital circus

madoka magica

project edens garden

tomorrow ill be someones girlfriend

Persona

I'll update this list later...

Kins!!

Mizuki Akiyama (shes just me but im not trans)

All of nightcord but specifically mizuki

Furina (GI)

Ame (NSO)

Amu (HH)

Dominique de Sade (VNC)

Vanitas (VNC)

Yua Takahashi (TIBSGF) (correct me if this isnt the abbreviation..)

Macaque (LMK)

Ryunosuke Akutagawa (BSD)

List will also be updated in the future as more kins come!! (or if i remember them..)

more about me in general!!

I'm very not proper. Like that sentence? that'll probably be the last you see of it LMAOO

i use emoticons and emojis a lot, and text multiple times in a row (i hate sending big paragraphs of text unless im angry and want to prove a point- WHATEVER YOU GET IT)

im a big people pleaser and want everyone to like me. i get anxious very easily when people here talk about others cause I ALWAYS THINK ITS ME (someone pls get this habit out of my head) and i always try to help people when i can. For example: post about feeling down and ill probably spam like you, or send a message in your asks that ily and wishing you the best!

i love it when people associate characters with me!! please pleapslepalesplepalpeapleaaase associate me with characters!

Speaking of characters, when I get obsessed with them, I either love them, or become them, or both! Like for example, with Scaramouche, I kin and he's one of my pookies!! With Mizuki, I kin her so much I wanna become her and dress like her! (does that make sense..?)

I'm always down to talk about my obsessions!! shoot an ask or something, and im so down to talk <3333

idm anons!! just please disclose if youve been here before or not, or claim an emoji!! that would be fun :3

i stay up late a lot, and take naps during the day. literally like 2 hours after school im napping, so if i dont respond to anything then, IM SORRYYY </33

thats it for now!! tysm for reading until the end <333

[autisticlee]

is it an autistic experience to ALWAYS be the one in a friend group who gets left out, alienated, secretly disliked, then kicked out of the group?

[deoidesign]

Can you make a tutorial on how you world build and make ocs? I can't seem to make any people in my brain, but then when I try to come up with environments jobs, beliefs and little details to slowly come up with someone, I think: well I don't really know how people have influenced the world- it's a weird loop

To be honest, I don't think I can! Writing is an extremely personal process. The way I write is directly related to how I process things, what I find important in stories, years of my own analysis of my and other's writing, etc... The way you write will be unique to you, as well. But I can explain how I personally think of it.

The short answer:

Write. Write anything and everything, it's a tool to explore your ideas. Analyze your own writing, and write more. Then, as you discover which ideas you want to develop, write more to explore them more. You won't know what you want otherwise!

The long answer:

I think this kind of loop is common. It's easy to feel like everything needs to be done "at once," because our job as writers is to make elements logically fit with each other for our readers. But as you've discovered, developing multiple elements simultaneously isn't really possible, or at least is extremely difficult.

Personally, when I think of writing, I break it into three major elements; characters, world, and plot. As much as possible every scene explores one or more of these, and as much as possible these three things tie back into what I personally consider most important: theme.

Everything I do is in service of the themes I want to present. Without them my events feel aimless. It can take a while to discover them, but they're the core of my work. You will have to discover what you feel is the core of yours. Analyzing other media helps with this too.

Concepts in your brain exist in a state of infinite potential. But when you start writing you have to start making choices, which removes potential as you move forward... But you have to move forward anyways. If there's ideas you want to explore later, you can always explore them later.

What this ends up meaning, to answer your question, is that I don't think of my characters as "people in my brain" or my worlds as something people have influenced... Not at their core, at least. They are tools that I use to represent specific ideas. Obviously they're also my blorbos, but mostly they're serving a specific narrative purpose.

So above all else... Write. Write, and discover what you're writing about, and then start over and write with that in mind. Keep doing this. But you have to write!

[rouge-fauna]

I think you’re talking about these posts [here & here], I don’t know if there have been others.

I'm not gonna say what I did was right, you are correct I should probably just not respond to asks getting me to talk about other people. I will say for these two posts those people had already blocked me I’m pretty sure, so it’s kinda hard to talk directly to them in that case. And I was not doing so anonymously and had not blocked them so I wasn’t hiding what I was saying. I did not follow them, I am not part of the innitor community, and not that that makes it right but I do think it is kinda different. Though you make a good point, perhaps we should stop this pattern of responding to asks about other blogs and such.

Still, the biggest thing to me I realized, back in elementary school when I first dealt with this, was that honestly all the time we talk about people behind their back. Talking about people when they aren’t always in the room is kinda just inevitable and part of socializing, however I think the important part is how you are talking about other people. It’s when you are insulting them, talking negatively about them to people they know, spreading false information and so on that it becomes not okay. Hopefully that makes sense.

In these cases I merely focused on the lore. I didn’t insult them or talk shit about them, as a person, as a blog or say their takes were stupid or they are stupid or speculate about their trauma or mental history. I just talked about reasons why I disagreed, or saw things differently and why we might see things differently. They were also not the only ones I saw to say similar things so I think in my mind I was making more of a general discussion, not trying to target them specifically. I didn’t post beyond that about them. But you are right, regardless it was probably not the right way to go about things.

But just to be clear, if I am a hypocrite it is not my intention. I haven’t vague blogged anyone or meant to vague reblog anyone. I think this week is pretty much the first time I’ve ever been not naming, passive aggressively talking about blogs, and even then I’m not trying to insult them, trying to cancel them. I’m just expressing that before you go off about how I’m stupid and unable to have a discussion about it, the very least you could’ve done was give me an opportunity to try.

[jrueships]

Bought one of my lil nephew giannis shoes for his birthday bcs he loves giannis and these are some of the ugliest fucking things I have ever laid my eyes on in my life. anyways it's his bday today so i gave them to him. but they are so ugly. he loves them

[britneyshakespeare]

i know i've been very culty on here about period underwear and reusable period products in general whenever i've brought up the topic in the last year or so but i mean it sincerely. i have never spent my money on a product that just simply improved my life so much. game-changing isn't even the beginning of it. i look forward to how much better my periods are now since i no longer have to depend on gross disposables. period underwear is the shit

[termagax]

re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.

[voidcat]

once again at my wits end bc of men

[philosophicallie]

ok time to try to blame someone else instead of me

[glimpsesofeuterpe]

oh no i remembered about it and now i feel petty x))

[obnoxiousarcade]

I have a longing to be understood more than anything else i think

[angelsaxis]

whyyyy are editors so expensive

[art-of-mathematics]

Non-linear thoughts about non-linear regression and the Poincare-Recurrence Theorem... what a foggy and dusty mind looping into itself... idk I indulge in nonsense again... #nonsensespiral

[softshuji]

y'know it's a night when hal sits and eats cereal in the dark room at 1.30am.

[bl00dh0rs3]

Got my end of the month burst of motivation to get my shit together and did 10 push ups