#why am i always asking why and why cant i just do one thing at a time?

[messrsrarchives]

Hey! I hope you’re doing okay after your day it sounded kind of rough :/

I just wanted to ask how you have the confidence to continue to be out and continue on your transition when everything is so gross rn in the world. I’m sorry if that’s inappropriate to ask I just have been having a really hard time and just thinking maybe it’s easier to not be out anymore so I was just curious. Anyway I hope you have a wonderful night!

heyyy !!! first of all, hugs 🫂🫂🫂

second of all,,,, it's all a massive façade. i truly wish i had something inspirational to say here but i struggle with it daily. honestly my first thought when the deadname stuff happened was,,, finally. maybe this is my excuse. maybe this is how i justify giving it up.

which is fucking sick (not in the cool way) and i really wish there were kind words to share here but,,, there's no confidence. perseverance, maybe. but not much confidence.

it's more just,,, something i have to do??? and i think a lot about if it would actually be easier? safer definitely, and that always comes first but,,, easier? idk. living a lie is tiring, but so is fighting. but at least whilst fighting, i'm Me, you know??

SORRY i wish i had positive things to say here but i feel like the only reason i haven't turned back on it is because the people around me pull me back every time i mention doing so.

but yk,,, in this together and we get to be each other here and if that's all we have for certain right now, then i'm endlessly grateful for it

[deoidesign]

Can you make a tutorial on how you world build and make ocs? I can't seem to make any people in my brain, but then when I try to come up with environments jobs, beliefs and little details to slowly come up with someone, I think: well I don't really know how people have influenced the world- it's a weird loop

To be honest, I don't think I can! Writing is an extremely personal process. The way I write is directly related to how I process things, what I find important in stories, years of my own analysis of my and other's writing, etc... The way you write will be unique to you, as well. But I can explain how I personally think of it.

The short answer:

Write. Write anything and everything, it's a tool to explore your ideas. Analyze your own writing, and write more. Then, as you discover which ideas you want to develop, write more to explore them more. You won't know what you want otherwise!

The long answer:

I think this kind of loop is common. It's easy to feel like everything needs to be done "at once," because our job as writers is to make elements logically fit with each other for our readers. But as you've discovered, developing multiple elements simultaneously isn't really possible, or at least is extremely difficult.

Personally, when I think of writing, I break it into three major elements; characters, world, and plot. As much as possible every scene explores one or more of these, and as much as possible these three things tie back into what I personally consider most important: theme.

Everything I do is in service of the themes I want to present. Without them my events feel aimless. It can take a while to discover them, but they're the core of my work. You will have to discover what you feel is the core of yours. Analyzing other media helps with this too.

Concepts in your brain exist in a state of infinite potential. But when you start writing you have to start making choices, which removes potential as you move forward... But you have to move forward anyways. If there's ideas you want to explore later, you can always explore them later.

What this ends up meaning, to answer your question, is that I don't think of my characters as "people in my brain" or my worlds as something people have influenced... Not at their core, at least. They are tools that I use to represent specific ideas. Obviously they're also my blorbos, but mostly they're serving a specific narrative purpose.

So above all else... Write. Write, and discover what you're writing about, and then start over and write with that in mind. Keep doing this. But you have to write!

[autisticlee]

is it an autistic experience to ALWAYS be the one in a friend group who gets left out, alienated, secretly disliked, then kicked out of the group?

[snobgoblin]

why are people so fucking rude. screams

[termagax]

re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.

[voidcat]

once again at my wits end bc of men

[glimpsesofeuterpe]

oh no i remembered about it and now i feel petty x))

[angelsaxis]

whyyyy are editors so expensive

[softshuji]

y'know it's a night when hal sits and eats cereal in the dark room at 1.30am.

[mirmidones]

ok bitter bitch moment, but i HATE when people repeatedly do not even try themselves to do something and just want me to do it for them.

even when it's something absolutely idiotic, like idk, bc of construction works the main entrance to the school is closed but there is literally a sign on the door that explains how else to enter. all you have to do is read and follow instruction. it's not like i did anything different yesterday when i got there. "nooo i still dont know im scared ill wait for you outside so you can show me" why. just get the fuck inside. or like when they ask me the time schedule literally everyday and at one point im like. or you could look it the fuck up. yknow. just how i do. since it is a class you also want to attend. it's not like the school desk calls me personally to let me and only me know. "what trains do i have to take to come see you?" i dont know, what trains are there? why cant you do it for yourself . and like i obviously dont mind being asked for help and offering help in general. i do mind it when people my own age start treating me like im their second mom or something. and i know it takes 2, i could just shut up and not be helpful but then most of the times it damages me as well as them and when it doesnt it is still super fucking annoying bc i have to sit there and listen to them whine and do nothing about anything and just. idk. patiently pretend to feel anything other that pure rage. and that does feel like a waste of my time

[autisticlee]

I started with posting about my autistic experience on twitter, reading posts on there, and interacting with people there.

then twitter got unbearable, so I moved back here and made a new account and side blogs to mirror twitter and lurk in the tags.

i've noticed a difference between autism twitter and autism tumblr from the big algorithm-controlled posts I usually see:

autism twitter makes me feel like i'm not allowed to say autism disables me or causes problems in life

while autism tumblr makes me feel like i'm not allowed to feel positively about being autistic and can only see it as a struggling disability.

the contrast makes me dizzy 😵‍💫 it's like no one wants to see the perspective of other people when we are all different. each side wants their narrative to be the told one.

[k4ruku]

i found a giant pikachu plush with a thing of pokemon cards and a drone at the bottom but the game was one of those things u gotta do multiple times to win and i only had 10 dollars that i was saving for pokemon violet dlc so i didnt get it :(

[phagodyke]

trying to watch all of us strangers and it's just making me cry really hard this is why I don't do romance movies WAH