#and like sometimes when i say i previously did something they want to do im just idk. im just saying its possible to do it even though its

[mirmidones]

ok bitter bitch moment, but i HATE when people repeatedly do not even try themselves to do something and just want me to do it for them.

even when it's something absolutely idiotic, like idk, bc of construction works the main entrance to the school is closed but there is literally a sign on the door that explains how else to enter. all you have to do is read and follow instruction. it's not like i did anything different yesterday when i got there. "nooo i still dont know im scared ill wait for you outside so you can show me" why. just get the fuck inside. or like when they ask me the time schedule literally everyday and at one point im like. or you could look it the fuck up. yknow. just how i do. since it is a class you also want to attend. it's not like the school desk calls me personally to let me and only me know. "what trains do i have to take to come see you?" i dont know, what trains are there? why cant you do it for yourself . and like i obviously dont mind being asked for help and offering help in general. i do mind it when people my own age start treating me like im their second mom or something. and i know it takes 2, i could just shut up and not be helpful but then most of the times it damages me as well as them and when it doesnt it is still super fucking annoying bc i have to sit there and listen to them whine and do nothing about anything and just. idk. patiently pretend to feel anything other that pure rage. and that does feel like a waste of my time

[jamiepaige]

Constant Companions Closeup #10: MY DARLING, MY COMPANION

(also on spotify!)

It's the Constant Companions Closeups! A series of in-depth dives into the songs off of my latest album, Constant Companions! Last time, we talked about gender with Object of Affection! Today, we've made it to the title track (kinda?)! My Darling, My Companion! Do you think she's figured out what she wants to hear yet

---

Every time I first embark on the process of making another album, I always think I know what the final product will look like. This is a fairly recent phenomenon, born of the part of me that thinks that planning things out and being somewhat disciplined in the act of creation will ultimately lead to a better final product. That's fair and all, but it's also genuinely never how things actually shake out, as I almost always toss that out the window and just start writing shit the first chance I get.

Constant Companions, however, is the closest I've gotten to actually following through on those initial ambitions. Well, maybe not the initial ambitions - without fail, every time I finish an album, there's a two week period where I start writing new material thinking "this next album's gonna be the MOODY one" and it's never the moody one - but rather the plan I developed once my pile of works-in-progress started looking album-shaped.

There's always been some amount of self-referential leitmotif-loving song-series energy in what I've written - Imaginary, Effervescent and Secret Girlfriend; sampling myself on Too Much Autotune or Second Hello; that little four note motif. I had been leaning even further into it with People Posture Play Pretend and 🤼‍♀️, bringing the little interconnected background radiation straight to the forefront, and I wanted to keep going.

So, I would take that mindset and write about motifs - the things that have stuck with me and gotten me to where I am - the hopes that I've clung to, the dreams I want to make real, the patterns that I keep finding myself in. The things that haunt me and the things that keep me living.

...

My constant companions, if you will.

wait didn't i already do that bit. what was i talking about when i did that

This might be incredibly obvious if you've already read the Closeup for Breeze Blows, but yes, this is another song about being plural.

Like I said previously, writing these self-directed songs portraying internal conversations has been a very big part of finding peace within myself. Having to confront a part of myself both alien and overly familiar with seemingly a mind of her own is, understandably, scary as shit in countless ways! If nothing else, it feels like sometimes I can't even talk about it out loud without sounding completely gone.

But it's made me realize and really think about something I think most people take for granted, something that feels silly to even say out loud given how obvious it is but that has completely changed my relationship with myself - you are always a part of your own life.

The overwhelming, ceaseless negative self-talk I lived with for however many years never went away because it was a part of me, and no amount of compartmentalizing or boxing-up or repression or anything helped even in the slightest compared to the act of showing her kindness and patience, letting her be a genuine part of me, being a friend to her. Doing so revealed to me a happier, more hopeful part of myself I thought I'd lost forever.

Letting yourself be yourself, and loving yourself for who you are, is the best way to be!

or something. that feels so fucking dr seuss of me to say whatever we're corny here we will Be corny

---

The working title of this song was "Hathaway", inspired entirely by my friend Lexie messaging me one morning about a dream in which I had released a song named as such. Naming and writing songs based on dreams is maybe my most beloved bit at this point, but my girlfriend ultimately convinced me to make the title My Darling, My Companion. Mostly because she (correctly) thought it'd be cooler than just a pure title track.

The verses were written by sampling my own previous demo for a title track, turning it into a call-and-response between me and GUMI, and the chorus was lifted almost word-for-word from another demo of mine using Teto. That second demo was partially inspired by the character Morgan from the visual novel Heart of the Woods - which I mostly bring up because it's just a really good yuri VN that is near and dear to my heart. And also because my friend Teffi voices the character Tara in said VN. And also because I recorded my vocals for this song at her house. And also because the voice that says "me when I'm goated as fuck" right before the second verse is in fact Teffi in the recording booth with me. Yuri runs deep in my veins.

Speaking of which, this song, in my mind, is one dedicated to advancing my agenda of GUMI x Teto, albeit subtly and in a roundabout way.

See, GUMI has always been something of an idealized voice in my other work. The songs of mine she sings historically have always been hopeful, upbeat, expressing some sense of comfort - I Wish That I Could Fall maybe being the only exception, and even then still offering some hope in the end.

On the flipside, there's a part in verse two where my voice is swapped out for Teto for a couple lines. I couldn't really tell you what it is, since it's not in terms of timbre or range, but Kasane Teto - her Synth V voicebank especially, but really all iterations of her - is the vocal synth that feels the most like a stand-in for my own voice. And really, writing with her almost seems to bring out parts of myself that are a bit too honest.

These two juxtaposed against each other made perfect sense. It helps that they have The Color Scheme, too.

Finally, this song is basically just one big reference to my song Destiny, from back in 2018, and it even closes out with lyrics based very directly on its closing refrain. I don't have much else to say on that front - but there's another Jamie Paige song this bears some shared DNA with, and a blatant reference to it is hidden in plain sight right as the bridge transitions to the outro.

Do you know what it is?

That's the post! If you have any questions, feel free to send them my way - I'm planning on doing a big AMA style bonus post after the album's finished!!

Speaking of which, tomorrow, we'll be talking about the eleventh and final track on the album - a simple little song about a computer falling in love... :~)

[dumbslvtforethan]

first kiss w non gf ethan landry!!

❝ one of your girls ethan landry

-- summary: you bring the shy dorky guy to a frat party .

946 words

𐙚 mdni!! ↓↓ 𐙚༘⋆ೀೀ

EVER SINCE YOU'VE JOINED ECON ethan has been observing you from afar. ethan was really hot, and quite a lot of girls had a secret crush on him, but behind that pretty face, ethan was just another shy dorky guy, who'd no one would suspect of anything bad because he was so shy and dorky. and despite the attention, ethan never even had his first kiss, he was waiting for it to be with you. you never really payed that much attention to him, but after your teacher paired you up for a project, you really got to know him. "so what do you wanna do first?" said ethan, nervously. you two had agreed to do the project on your house, so on top of his nervousness of even speaking to you, there was the amusement of being at his crushes bedroom. "i dont know, how about you search for key words while i do the flyer?" you said. after you two being really awkward for a while, you actually found ethan really funny and nice to talk to. and after thet forced interaction because of the project, you two became really good friends. and ethan actually agreed to go to a halloween frat party together. you two agreed to go as ghostfaces together, which was quite ironic considering all of ethan's friends accused him of being one, even though he wasn't. "hey im here, where are you?" you texted ethan when you arrived at the party. ethan was so nervous he couldn' even drive properly. it was the first frat party he would go to, let's just say, ethan wasn't much of a party person. when ethan arrived he felt so out of place, there were people making out, drinking, smoking, things ethan never did. "im in the kitchen" he texted you. a few minutes later you found him. you were wearing a black tube dress, fishnets, a ghostface mask stuck on your upper thigh and a pair of black boots, you looked gorgeous in ethan's vision.

"hey, i missed you" you said, hugging him. ethan didn't even have time to respond when you said "c'mon lets dance" dragging him to the dance floor. the party was crowded, and as mentioned previously, despite not being popular, ethan had a lot of secret admires, sometimes he would open up his locker and and a bunch of letter would fall on his lap, love letters to be exact. you and him were at the dance floor, the amount of girls who would look at him was too much. even you started to notice. and ethan started to get uncomfortable. "hey are you okay?" you asked ethan, worried. he shook his head in response. you grabbed his hand and led him to the nearest bathroom.

"whats wrong?" you asked him, before locking the door shut. "i feel so out of place Y/N" he said, tears filling his eyes. you got on your knees to look in the eyes of the boy who was sitting in the toilet with his head down. "look, i know you're not used to this kind of stuff but i can help you." you said "its not that. sure im not used to these kind of places but its just i feel so-" he said "lost?" you interrupted him. he nodded. "how? i mean those girls were looking at you with hungry eyes out there ethan." you said, trying to comfort him. "but i dont want any of those girls Y/N, i want someone that cares about me, someone who i can feel safe with, not just some one night stand." he said, no looking at you in the eyes. "i want someone like-" he said, before pausing regretting him words. "someone like you." he said, taking every drop of courage in his body to say that. you grabbed his cheeks and leaned in slowly, kissing him on the lips. he looked shocked, and that concerned you because you thought that you did something wrong or that he simply just didn't like the kiss. "im sorry, i have no idea what came into me" you said, getting up and grabbing the door handle of the bathroom. you were about to open the door when he grabbed your waist spinning you and kissing you one more time. "im sorry if i looked like i didn't like it, trust me, that's what i've wanted for months now but-" he said "its just...that was my first kiss" he said, stuttering. now the one in shock was you, you would've never expected that a hot guy like him who gets that much attention never got kissed until that moment. "what?" you said, in complete shock. "i know, just, lets not come back out there, i dont want anymore girls looking at me Y/N, you are the only one that i want." he said.

"what if there was a way to make them go away?" you said, an idea popping in your head. "c'mon" you said,  grabbing his hand and one again, dragging him to the dance floor. "just trust me okay?" you whispered in his ear. you grabbed his hand and put it on your waist. you pulled his head closer to yours, french kissing him. you were expecting him to be a horrible kisser, considering that a few minutes ago he had his first kiss, but you honestly wouldn't care. the thing you weren't expecting was that he was actually a great kisser, like amazing kisser. "you are an amazing kisser, im kinda surprised not gonna lie" you said, shocked for the second time of the night. "i watch porn so.." he confessed. "ethan!" you said, laughing.

@jchampionsgf on tumblr

A/N: this is my first request ever so thank you sm for requesting! i've been on here for not a lot of time and im already receiving sm love so tysm! i've never written subby ethan before so sorry if its not that good but hope you enjoy.

[catscidr]

hi helloooo hope ure doing great !! could i pls req childe who constantly flirts with a shy reader who gets super duper flustered by it ???? childe + opposites attract + mutual pining lives rent free in my head >3>

ur in luck bc i AM indeed doing great!! mostly bc i wrote this. like oh GOD i love him he's so boyfriend agshnfga writing this made me giggle and kick my legs. was actually tweaking. im so weak for him sometimes DAMMIT ⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝ cw: fluff, modern/college au, idiot in love x idiot in love, crack if you squint? childe and reader r just silly. only slightly proofread because i was too excited (sue me) includes: fem!reader, childe wc: 1k

It’s not like you didn’t want to be here, stuck between two very rowdy students cheering for their friends, because you were in the bleachers for the same reason anyways; to cheer on your own friend! But you’d prefer doing it without the constant shouts coming from the other students. 

Previously, Tartaglia had insisted (read: begged) that you come watch his soccer matches, even if some were just for practice. I play better when I know you’re in the stands, he said earlier before he left you to your own thoughts, walking away to change into his uniform. It had been maybe half an hour since then and yet you couldn’t shake the conversation from your head, not when he kept meeting your gaze from the soccer field, flashing you a bright smile as he ran for the ball.

Your relationship with the redhead was a confusing one. As one of the popular students, Tartaglia naturally always had his own group of (equally popular) friends around him but, recently, he’s been hanging out with you more often. Saying something along the lines of him needing to take after you to mellow out his loud personality in comparison to your introverted one. You’d argue that it wasn’t necessary, that his energy was one of the things that drew you to him ; and as much as he likes to come up with excuses to hang out with you without you bolting in the opposite direction, you know you’ll always fall for his boyish charm, no matter how shitty his excuse is. 

The sudden sound of shouts pulls you from your thoughts, a surprised yelp leaving your lips. Focusing your attention back on the field you watch as your friend gets engulfed by a group hug, the team cheering loudly- seems like in your daydream he managed to score a goal. The two guys next to you were standing up, cheering for them enthusiastically. 

Overwhelmed by the sheer energy radiating from them, you focus your attention back on Tartaglia. He meets your eyes, his smile widening even further if it were possible, and waves at you energetically. You wave back sheepishly, cheeks flushed. 

✧✧✧ 

“I told you I play better when you’re watching!” Tartaglia says with a teasing grin, lightly pushing your shoulder. You make a noise of surprise, covering it up with a cough as you raise your fist up to your mouth to hide your bashful expression. Whether he noticed the way you stiffened at his touch or not, he does a good job not showing it. “Did a whole hat trick thanks to you. Well, the soccer equivalent of it at least...” he continues sheepishly, mindlessly fiddling with the strap of his bag slung over his shoulder. 

“How does that even work, anyways? Usually, people feel more pressure when there’s a crowd watching them...” you argue quietly, matching his long strides as you walked together along campus to go back to the gym changing rooms. Most people that came to watch the match had already left, however you and Tartaglia had been stuck behind due to him getting stopped by friends and acquaintances. Which worked in your favor since you disliked dealing with large crowds. 

“Eh, I don’t care about other people. All I care about is having your pretty eyes on me,” he says with a wink. 

Your legs stop abruptly, a flush decorating your cheeks, gaze never leaving the floor as you try to get your heart to calm down. How can he say something like that so casually? Is he messing with you because he has ulterior motives or is he- 

“Heyheyhey, you doing alright over there? I didn’t break you, did I?” You hear Tartaglia calling your name, waving his hand in front of your face with a lighthearted chuckle. Pulling yourself out of your frozen state, you look up at the playful expression your friend wore, cheeks puffing out as you find yourself lacking a comeback. He notices your sullen frown and places a hand on your head, ruffling your hair playfully. 

“Oh come on, don’t sulk now!” the redhead whines, “that was tame. You and I both know I’m capable of saying much worse than that,” he declares confidently, deep blue eyes looking down at you with a playful grin. A grin that seemed to never leave his face, much to your displeasure- how were you supposed to pull yourself together when he looked like the human incarnation of the sun? 

“Don’t,” you mumble quietly, picking up the pace with your head hanging low, physically unable to face him anymore. Sure, you didn’t have the biggest group of friends and went out less than most people, but you were convinced he was shamelessly flirting with you. Why else would he be so close to you, relentlessly teasing you like this? Oh god, what if he’s like this with everyone? Maybe this is how he jokes around with his friends... Wait, speaking of Tartaglia, where did he- 

You bump into a hard surface. Opening your eyes, you’re met with a damp soccer tee, glistening muscles and freckled skin. Tilting your head up slowly, you’re met with your crush-friend-classmate-guy looking at you with raised brows and quirked up lips. He places one hand on his hip, observing your beet red face with glee. 

“I didn’t even do anything this time, princess. Everything okay?” the redhead asks with an airy chuckle. Oh god, you thought. Wish I walked into a wall instead. 

“Y-Yeah. Uh huh. Everything’s just peachy,” you respond with a thumbs up, the corners of your lips curling up into what you thought was a reassuring smile but seemed more like a nervous grimace to the soccer player. He didn’t buy your excuse. Instead of leaving it as it is, Tartaglia brings a hand up to his chin and looks up, dramatically faking a thought process. 

“Hmm... I wonder what you could have been so distracted by? Was it my arms? My charms? Or was it-” 

“Your body odor. You reek of sweat, go shower,” you squeak out, face burning as you scurry away from the source of your (delicious) torment, your heart running a marathon beneath your ribcage all the while Tartaglia laughs loudly in the hallway, speedwalking to catch up to you.

[goddammitjosef]

For the otp question meme. Napalex. Every number except for 26.

(Is this evil behavior?)

fuck you im doing 26

NAPALEX HEADCANONS MASTERPOST WOOOO

Who is most affectionate?

Napoleon, he warms up to Alexander after a while and is very cuddly, pinches his ears when mad and sits on his lap a lot. Alexander thinks it's kind of weird.

Little spoon/Big spoon?

Napoleon is little spoon Alexander is big spoon.

Most common arguement?

Poland, this is canon btw... trading too. Literally anything atp but mostly Poland.

Favourite non-sexual activity?

Taking long walks, and arguing.

Who is most likely to care for the other?

Napoleon, he has to remind Alexander to do stuff.

What is their favourite feature of their partner?

Napoleon likes Alexander's hair, and his facial features, overall anything that makes him look like a greek god.

Alexander likes Napoleon's chub.

What's the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

Literally nothing they still hold grudges they just kiss now.

Nicknames? If so how did they originate?

I've been on this hill since day one that Napoleon called Alexander "Alex" and Alexander thought it was weird but now Napoleon calls him Sasha.

Alexander calls Napoleon "Napoleon" to his face but Bonaparte behind his back cause he's a fake ass bitch.

Who worries the most?

ALEXANDER

Who remembers what the other orders at a resturant?

Alexander. Napoleon always orders chicken while Alexander tries ordering something different each time and usually doesn't like it.

Who tops?

COMPLICATED QUESTION NOT EVEN ARISTOLE COULD ANSWER!!!!!

I always thought it would be Napoleon but looking back I know believe Alexander usually tops. Napoleon tops sometimes but everytime he does Alexander has a horrible time and fakes an orgasm. Napoleon is a lot better at handjobs tho which Alexander does enjoy but that's TMI.

Who initiates kisses?

Napoleon does, his are more rough and with tongue while Alexander likes small pecks.

Who reaches for the other's hand first?

Napoleon.

Who kisses the hardest.

As previously stated, Napoleon. He's an OK kisser.

Who wakes up first?

Napoleon.

Who wants to stay in bed a little longer?

Alexander.

Who says I love you first?

NAPOLEON.

Who leaves little notes in the others lunch.

I dont think this one applies here but i'll give it a shot.

If it's highschool AU then Napoleon leaves cringey notes in Alexanders lunch. Modern AU where they're adults then Alexander does, he just tells him to have a nice day. I imagine modern AU Alexander is a lot more loving than the real Alexander.

BTW I wanna flesh out a modern AU where Paul works in the Kremlin and Napoleon is a foreign exchange student in Russia because it was the cheapest place they'd take him. Also it'd be better for designs since most Russian secondary schools don't have uniforms.

Who tells their family/friends of their relationship?

LITERALLY NO ONE KNOWS. Execpt Fredrick William because he could tell.

What do their family/friends think of their relationship?

Ok breakdown if they DID know. Paul would kill Alexander, like actual death Ivan the Terrible and His Son. Catherine II would be more supportive. Elizabeth would just not care honestly, she thinks it's interesting it's with a man this time but she's been through him cheating through the hundredth time. But she would poke at him telling him "Why'd you seperate me and Varvara and now you're gay??" Josephine also doesnt care but she doesn't like how Napoleon keeps asking for her to roleplay as Alexander now. Pauline thinks it's kind of cute but calls them the f slur to her husband. Leticia would shoot Napoleon. Joseph thinks it's weird. Konstintine would make fun of Alexander and tell everyone.

Who is more likely to start dancing with the other?

Alexander this is canon.

Who cooks/is better at cooking?

Alexander...I think? Not too sure.

Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines?

NAPOLEON

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other's ear during sex?

Both of them tbh, very talkative i would say but Napoleon more than Alexander.

Who needs more assurance?

ALEXANDER.

What would be their theme song?

Already made a song analysis post but to sum it up.

Backstabber - Dresdon Dolls

The More You Ignore Me the Closer I Get - Morrissey

I like you - Morrissey

Let Me Kiss You - Morrissey

You've Got Everything Now - The Smiths.

Once More to See You - Mitski

I ALSO HAVE A PLAYLIST

Who would sing their child back to sleep?

Napoleon.

What do they do when they're away from eachother?

When are they not away from eachother?

One headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart.

I hear people say Alexander offered Napoleon to stay with him instead of being at Elba and it's probably not true but...man...

ALSO ANYTHING ABOUT THEM AT THE END OF THEIR LIVES. JUST. HOW DID ALEXANDER FEEL ABOUT NAPOLEON'S DEATH I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO

One headcanon about this OTP that mends it.

I don't know send me your headcanons. MY DMS ARE ALWAYS OPEN FOR ANYTHING BUT ESPECIALLY NAPALEX I LOVE MESSAGING PEOPLE LET'S TOUCH TIPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[claiestve]

𝐌𝐲 𝐅𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 ꨄ Andrew

˜”* ❝𝙄'𝙢 𝙜𝙤𝙣' 𝙗𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚.❞

⎯⎯ ୨ ୧ ⎯⎯

ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ: ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ ᴀ ᴅᴀᴛᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀɴᴅʀᴇᴡ

⎯୨⎯ " " ⎯୧⎯

“Andrew?” You called out into the next room waiting for an answer. There wasn’t a response so you thought to try again. You also didn’t want to text him if he was just in the next room, “Andrew?” You called out again. Again, no response. 

You sighed, standing up and walking to the bedroom, where he was. Upon reaching for the handle, you noticed something. ‘Hmm,’ you hummed to yourself and frowned. The door was closed and locked. You didn’t have a problem with that but now it sparked your curiosity. You gently knocked on the door. 

“Yes, Darling?” You heard. He sounded frantic but not in a bad way. More suspicious, he’s hiding something way. 

“Can I come in?”

You hear shuffling for about ten seconds circling the room you were standing outside of. Now, you are more curious than before. There wasn’t even a lot in that room so what the hell would he be moving around? And why was he so panicked? 

The doorknob trembles in front of you before the door slowly unfastens. There you see Andrew suspiciously standing in front of something while looking like he just ran a mile. 

“What are– never mind. I just came to ask what our exact plans were for tomorrow. I know we have everything down except for times. I don’t want it to be like…” You trail off as you focus on Andrew’s stance in front of… whatever he’s standing in front of. He looked so still and concentrated. “Okay, no.��

“What?”

“Andrew, what’s behind you?”

“It’s not important, continue, darling.”

You moved closer to him and pulled him away from the item behind him. He tried to block you from seeing it but by now you’ve already known it was some kind of surprise. 

“What is this?”

He sighs and moves the object closer to you. “I was saving this for our date tomorrow. Now that I think about it, it would’ve been difficult to carry this around without you seeing,” He makes a hand motion to you, “Open it.”

As you open the box, you can’t help but giggle a bit. You saw something that you’ve previously mentioned you wanted but you never explicitly asked for. A big bear with a giant bouquet of red roses. 

“Aw, Andrew! You didn’t have to, you know? I would’ve been fine with your presence alone.” You say feeling a tiny wave of guilt. This was the way Andrew was. He’d do things for you that you loved but it felt like a lot. Sometimes, you feel like you don’t deserve it all. Especially what you did to him. Taking his teaching career–

“Don’t. I know you’re thinking about it. I’ve already made it entirely clear that I like doing things for you just as much as you do for me. You know I don’t ever want to appear empty-handed when it comes to you.”

You catch a feeling in your heart, a good one at that. The feeling travels up to your neck, then to your face, and reaches your eyes filling them with warm tears. You didn’t like crying in front of Andrew as much as he didn’t like crying in front of you. However, you weren’t sad or angry this time. You were crying and it all stemmed from the feeling of love. Your love for him emphasized itself and caused a wave of emotion in your body. You tried turning away from him but he already noticed. 

“Darling? Are you crying?” He asks as he concerningly blanketed your body with his arms, “Did I do something?”

“No, I just– I think I fell in love with you again.”

“Ah, that happens to me with you daily, Darling.”

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

eugh i dont think i could write for andrew again unless i made the reader a total badass. (cuz i partially hated this)

im so excited to finally move on from this and finish the next one

[saeslove]

YOU ALWAYS HAD ME — synopsis: what would you do if your hot best friend agreed to fake date you to make your ex-boyfriend jealous? will it ruin your friendship or will it prevail into something more?

⤿ [ 04 ] help, typo; * of ⟶ off! * & timestamps do not matter.

Gojo Satoru is many things but being punctual? Is never on his agenda.

However, that seems to differ when it comes to you.

“Hey," he greeted. Satoru was there with his hands tucked inside his pockets, leaning against the digital door of your home.

Sometimes the fact that he has his digital fingerprint on your door slips off your mind. Sometimes. But he has never crossed any boundaries. That’s what normal bestfriends do right? They give each other their passwords to their home?

Well, that’s what you think. Not to your friends though…

"Hi," you smiled sheepishly.

“You’re all dressed up. Going somewhere YN? Who's your lucky date?”

“Heyyyyy look at you! But yeah, you’re the lucky one.” You grinned, walking up to him and linking your arms together.

“So where are you taking me?” You broke off the silence between the two of you while he led you to his car.

He pinched your cheek with his free hand — a habit of his. “You’ll see, baby. After you m’lady.”

With that, he drove off.

The car ride was insanely long, to say you weren’t sleepy was an understatement. You tried your best to fight your demons and keep your eyes open but to no avail. Satoru, on the other hand, noticed. You were never one to stay awake in car rides.

“Go to sleep baby. I’ll wake you up when we arrive.”

That was your cue. You fell asleep.

After what felt like an eternity, you got woken up by your fake boyfriend’s hand over your eyes.

“Hold on to my arms while I close your eyes. It has to be a surprise!!” You were tired of Satoru’s antics but he brought you out when you were feeling down so who were you to complain?

The sounds of the rowdy streets freaked you a little — you still had your eyes closed. But Satoru’s gentle touch on your skin grounded you. — You felt safe with him.

“OKAY! I’M RELEASING MY HANDS IN 3..2..1!” He finally let go of his hands that were previously resting on your eyes, but his eyes never left yours.

You had to adjust the sight before you. When you realize where he took you, you jump into his arms, thanking and kissing every part of his face.

He never expected that reaction out of you, but did he mind? Not a bit! His bestfriend No, his crush! Was kissing him! He was beyond the moon. Everyone around you could see the love he had for you in his eyes.

If only you knew.

he posted yn to the song @ 0:47 ! listen to it while reading if u want to! + thats yn’s priv ok!

lily ⟶ i’ve been gone for awhile but im here noww hope u enjoy and thank u sm for waiting! 🫶🏼 is yn falling ~ omg (i dont even know myself)

taglist: @hexrts-anatomy @k4romis @soy-garbage @avatar-of-procrastination @lees-chaotic-brain @pastatata

likes and reblogs appreciated! 💕💕 pls be kind to me

series m.list | main m.list

@ satoluv do not plagiarize, translate, or rewrite my writings without my permission !

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

i can't think of a creative title

👽 for finding later because look at him he's a little alien :D

so anyway i (15F) had this girlfriend (16F) a little bit ago. we honestly didn't do much together, even though we're both in high school. never went on a proper date and we never even kissed.

whenever i would try to set up a date or anything, she'd kinda be like "ok." and then never follow up and i wouldn't wanna do it because i have really bad self esteem issues and i didn't want her to stop liking me because i was being too clingy or anything.

we were texting like normal one day and she just sent me this text where she was like "i'm literally so selfish lmaooo i already knew i was gonna break up with you by the end of the school year but here i am still dating you and wanting to kiss you 🤪" and i just stopped texting her right there because. because what? she was literally planning to break up with me and she knew what day she was going to do it and everything? then what was the point of even getting together with me? because she knew i really liked her and still did that.

anyway, we agreed to talk during our free period/study hall at school the day after. i had totally freaked myself out and i was completely prepared to just go and apologize over and over again, even if she was in the wrong, but when i met her, she immediately started talking about how i put her on too much of a pedestal and how my self esteem was too low and how i have a tendency to say "im gonna fucking kill myself" (not in like a serious way or anything but it just became a thing i'd say sometimes, we both knew that i wasn't being serious about hurting myself but i see why that would make her uncomfortable and it's actually a habit i've been trying to stop) and these are actually all pretty valid concerns. i did have a little bit of a tendency to put her on a pedestal because of my previously mentioned terrible self esteem. so we broke up.

but then a little recently, a friend, who i'll call miku texts me and she's talking about how my ex, i'll call her uh... rin? anyway, rin texts miku and rin allegedly said that she thinks that she's more mature than all of our friend group ( we mainly have the same friend group, me and rin are still friends) and miku tells me that (also allegedly) miku wasn't really all that affected at all when we broke up or even when i randomly stopped texting her after that text. so. idk. was i the asshole? i feel bad about ghosting her, that was kinda toxic and abusive and definitely something i shouldn't have done, but it freaked me out.

[pastanest]

A/N: you’re wondering why I’m having to repost this, or why you were perhaps previously following me but no longer are, please refer to this post. I was able to retrieve this thanks to @bakedcrispss - thanks so much!! ♡

a gif of Daryl looking down at us to set the mood ⤵️

Daryl x Short!Reader

- let’s start with how you met

- so Daryl was out on a hunt when he heard some commotion, something was moving fast towards him and just as he realised which direction the sound was coming from, you quite literally ran into him

- and when you ran into him, you bounced back and fell right on your ass, while Daryl just scowled down at you

- so there you were, staring up at him

- and then you stood up, and there you were, still staring up at him

“Sum’ followin’ you?” Daryl asked, glancing off in the direction you’d ran from.

“Only dead ones, but my knife broke so I had to run to get them off my trail. Sorry about running into you.” The apology was awkward, but Daryl just nodded.

- he considered correcting you, sarcastically saying he should be the one apologising since he was apparently in your way and knocked you over, but he thought it was too soon for a dig at your height

- Daryl waited a few seconds to see if he could hear any walkers coming after you, and when he couldnt, he skulked off

- much to his surprise, you followed him, and he found that he could barely hear you creeping up behind him because of your lack of height and therefore heavy steps

“So, what’s your name?” You asked, definitely taking Daryl by surprise, but he hid it well.

“Daryl.” He answered shortly. haha y���all see what I did there

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Daryl! Im (Y/N). Do you have a group or a place to stay? ‘Cause if not, there’s logically a better chance of us surviving if we stick together.”

- he didnt want anyone following him, much less someone who didnt even see a man directly in front of them that they then ran into. he didnt even know if you could handle yourself. Daryl assumed that what you really meant was you were more likely to survive sticking with him because he’d save your ass

“Got a group an’ a place.” He said, hoping to throw you off, but he quickly realised his own mistake.

“Oh, that’s great! Do you, uh...maybe have room for one more?”

- have room? Daryl had to hold back a laugh, you could live comfortably in the average sized closet and you were asking if his group had room for you?? he, again, refrained from making such comments, and decided to stay professional

“How many walkers you killed?”

“Havent kept count, but some. I can usually sneak away from them, Im pretty good at getting into small hiding places.”

- Daryl looked down at you, struggling to tell whether you were insecure about your height and whether making jokes would be okay, or whether you would get insulted and sad and think your height a weakness

- in response, you rolled your eyes

“Daryl, do you really think I’ve gone my entire life blissfully unaware of being a short-ass? It’s not something I can change, so I work with what I’ve got, but sometimes I run into dudes and knock myself on my ass.”

- and much to Daryl’s absolute shock, that last part made him laugh

“That a regular hobby o’ yers?” He teased.

“Oh yeah, try to squeeze a collision in at least once a month.” You replied with a grin.

- and so your friendship was established

- when the two of you got back to the prison, you saw the people at the gate and in the guard tower and sighed because you knew from a distance they’d think Daryl had brought back a kid

- still, the small group that greeted you were welcoming enough. Maggie and Glenn were both very sweet, and as was Rick, but you’re certain you werent the only one to notice that his teenage son Carl was almost the same height as you

- you fit into the prison nicely, offering to help out wherever you could and getting to know as many people as possible. Daryl was fascinated by how easily you seemed to make friends, especially since you made friends with him in a matter of seconds

- Daryl was your favourite person to hang out with, you loved asking him questions and finding out things about him. he was far from the most open person when it came to talking about himself, but when you’d stroll over and sit on his bike, kicking your legs in the air because you couldnt reach the ground and giving him that damn smile, Daryl found it increasingly difficult to resist giving you anything and everything you wanted

- he definitely had a soft spot for you, and at first he hated that

- you’d wave at him when he was up in the guard tower and before he could even consider his own response, he would be waving back at you with a stupid smile on his face like some friendly dumbass

- one time Rick was coming up behind you and caught sight of the way Daryl waved at you, so Rick waved up at him to tease him and Daryl flipped him off

- once you’d earned the group’s trust, it was difficult for them not to notice how useful your lack of height could be in certain situations

- whenever one of the kids got a toy stuck in an inconveniently tight space, you would be the adult they summoned

- but equally, when the group found a decently large herd of walkers that they wanted to lead away from the prison, they looked to you as the first person to run by them and get to the other side of the herd, because you were the least likely to be spotted

“Naw, ‘s not happenin’.” Daryl shook his head, and Rick sighed.

“It’s the smartest play, you know it is.”

You nodded. “Yeah, and I’ve got no problem with it. At the start if this thing, all I did was run and hide, it’s what Im good at.”

- Daryl scoffed and stormed off, not even slightly onboard with you being the one in the most dangerous position of that whole thing. he knew it was the best option, but he would rather anybody else took that job and you stayed home. Daryl couldnt understand why he was so angry at the thought of you being in danger, but worst of all...when had he started referring to the prison as ‘home’?

- obviously, you ran after the big bad angry crossbowman, and soon enough you were walking at his side

“Why have you always gotta walk so fast?! Takes a lot for these little legs to keep up, y’know!”

- a small smile curled at the corner of Daryl’s mouth, and you nudged him playfully

“That’s better. Now, you wanna tell me what that was all about?”

- Daryl shrugged, having never been one to put his feelings into words without Merle calling him a pussy before he’d even opened his mouth, but you wouldnt do that to him, Daryl knew that, so he tried

“Jus’ don’...don’ want you t’ be in danger.” He managed, and your eyes softened as they stared up at him.

“Daryl, you’ll be on the other side of the street-“

He cut you off by shaking his head. “Ain’ enough. Sum’ could still happen.”

You rolled your eyes. “I can handle myself.”

Daryl was quiet for a moment, choosing his next words carefully, and he decided to test the water.

“Ain’ much t’ handle.”

- you were silent, and Daryl immediately regretted what he’d said. you stopped walking, and he turned to look at you, trying to piece together your reaction from how wide your eyes were

“Was that...a short joke?”

- Daryl could only nod, very quickly realising that this was neither the time nor the place to make a joke, the mood was completely off and he couldnt explain why he decided to do it if he tried

- but then, you burst out laughing

- once you’d calmed down, you explained to Daryl that you heard every short joke in existence throughout school, but once you became an adult the jokes died out, in the workplace it wasnt professional or whatever. but you missed the jokes even then, and when the world changed, there were even less of them. it had been years since anyone had made an actual joke about your height

- so, Daryl made it his mission to make playful jokes about it whenever he could after that

“Anyone seen (Y/N)?” He’d ask when you were standing right in front of him, he’d look over your head and pretend to look around for you until he couldnt resist glancing down at you and laughing.

“Rain’s eased up, gonna go out on a hunt, it’s hot out there now. But how’s the weather down there?” Of course, Daryl Dixon found a way to incorporate the classics.

“Best stay behin’ me, cant promise I wont think yer a mouse out there an’ shoot ya by mistake.” He teased whenever you walked next to him on a hunt.

“Daryl, I swear, I will spin your jaw if you dont shut up.” You’d say, and Daryl would smirk.

“If ya can reach.”

And you’d sigh. “Fine, I’ll just bite your ankles.”

“Sure ya can reach those?” Daryl would answer effortlessly, knowing he could continue forever.

“Daryl I SWEAR-“ You’d yell, and he’d burst out laughing.

- anytime anyone around you used the words “little”, “small”, “shorter”, Daryl found a way to spin it on you

“We should take this road, it’d be shorter-“ Rick began, and then he closed his eyes in a pained blink, waiting for what he knew was coming.

Daryl smirked, diverting his gaze from the map on the hood of the car and glancing down at you beside him.

“Shorter, huh. Remin’s me o’ someone.”

- anytime anyone asked anyone “what’s up” you could guarantee that from somewhere else in the prison, you would hear Daryl Dixon yell out “NOT (Y/N)!”

- secretly he found your lack of height to be very endearing, the way you looked up at him was adorable, the ease with which you could jump on his back at anytime for a piggyback ride without fatally wounding him, the fact that the cliché short-problem of having to ask someone else to reach stuff for you and Daryl usually being the closest person for you to ask. he loved it, and he made sure to remind you with a series of cute height-related petnames

“‘ey, mouse, c’mon, aint got all day.”

“Been lookin’ all over for you, li’l one, where ya been?”

“Listen, small person, ya better ease up on that tone with me.”

- later on when your relationship progressed, Daryl introduced the petname of “doll” cuz thinks you’re small and cute like a doll, but he only uses that petname in softer moments between you, like if you’re upset or he’s tired

- and he didnt see your height as a weakness either. once you’d joined him for a few hunts, Daryl could see that you really could handle yourself, you were a strong fighter, he had no doubts there. but he couldnt help worrying that you were just a little more fragile because of how small you were, it was a natural worry to have, all things considered, and you loved his protectiveness of you, so you definitely werent complaining

- the only problem with Daryl’s protectiveness was that it extended to him wanting to beat the shit out of anyone else who joked about your height

- Rick, Maggie, Beth, Hershel, Glenn, Carol, Michonne- the entire core group as well as Tyereese because he’s a fkin unit, they were all allowed to make fun of your height, but anyone else who tried had a death wish

- sometimes new arrivals would be stupid enough to voice their opinions on you being inferior and incapable because of your height when Daryl was nearby. they’d joke about wondering how you made it this far, assuming you’d been living safely since the start otherwise you wouldnt have made it, assuming everyone around you needed to protect you because you were a liability

- and Daryl would be there in an instant

“The hell’d you just say?!” He’d growl from your side.

“Anyone built like that cant even reach the top shelf, let alone survive in a world like this! It’s survival of the fittest, plain and simple!” The idiot would be stupid enough to say, laughing through his own explanation.

And then Daryl would knock him to the ground a lot less playfully than he knocked you to the ground on the day you met, he’d be on top of the idiot and punching him until someone (usually Rick) pulled him off.

You’d be there right away, standing on your tiptoes to hold Daryl’s face in your hands and calm him down. He’d rest his forehead against yours and ask if you were alright, if the idiot had hurt your feelings ‘cause “if he did I’ll go right back over there an-“ and you’d say no. You’d take him back to your cell and clean up his split knuckles while Daryl just watched you, utterly mesmerised.

And then you’d sit on his lap, his arms wrapping around you without him having to think about it.

“What would I do without you?” The question would pass your lips quietly, as though truly bewildered by wondering what life would be like without Daryl in it.

“Hear a lot less jokes.” He’d reply, his voice rumbling in his chest, you’d feel it through his shirt, against your palm.

You’d laugh, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. “And be a lot leas happy.”

[ilov3pedr0p4scal]

not me waking up and the first thing I see is this 😭

co - star apparently knows what im being up to lately 😭 and im definitely taking this as an advice that literally everyone has heard before here.

Shifters here always tell us that we have to see beyond 3D and accept that we already have it, it may seem “silly” and you can say “girl, I literally can’t see that so it’s not real” it may seem like that if you have that mindset, where is that mindset going to take you? Nowhere, it’s better to join the wave and end up in a new place you weren’t before than to stay in the same place forever and not doing anything about it.

Yesterday all day I was repeating a lot of affirmations to myself, “im shifting” “i will shift tonight, not tomorrow, not in two days, tonight”, and I was like that all day. I set a five minute timer and affirmed like a robot, even though it may seem forced it works, while I was washing the dishes I affirmed, and today I did something different than others, I wrote in my shifting journal my “first” day there (which is literally not true because that is my reality and I have been there for ages, but whatever), I wrote down the sounds, the sensations, what I saw first, what I did after that, what I had for breakfast, etc. everything in the present as if it was already there, after that genuinely something changed, my perspective, a million things changed, for the first time I was too sure that I would achieve it (of course I can) I kept repeating affirmations, listening to subliminals, watching stories here on tumblr, and drawing in my diary about it, it also helped me visualize.

night came and i already knew what was going to happen, (i prefer to try shifting at night simply because it is more comfortable for me) i was so excited that my reality would finally arrive, it would arrive after many years of being trapped in this reality that is not for me. so i listened to this subliminal that i found in a post here, and i got into a comfortable position, i listened to it and i am not kidding you, within a few minutes my body was numb, i was affirming and affirming, i was imagining my reality, how it would look when i arrived and what i would do, and for the first time in 4 years of trying, i know i was there for at least a second, and it may seem like nothing to you, but to me it was a big deal, I WAS THERE! my position changed and I saw the place where I would wake up and next to me i see my boyfriend, I always tried to be calm and not let my emotions consume me, after that I kept repeating and affirming, until I was asleep. I had previously set an alarm to try to enter the void state in case I fell asleep, and OMG the alarm went off and I turned it off and went to sleep 😭, I wish it was a joke but oh well, IT LITERALLY SAID ON THE SCREEN “GO TO VOID STATE!” and I was like goodnight bitch, but whatever.

I know it may seem like another post from the bunch you see here that tells you the same thing over and over and over again, but if it's always the same it's because it works. Now I know these things and I know what worked for me, and the next time I go to my reality I know I'll wake up there and not here. If you've been trying for years like me, but you never take the time to informed yourself or looked within yourself for what method you liked and just do the fucking raven method or something because "there's no time" girl, believe me that even if you can do shifting without being knowing as such, sometimes knowing a little more doesn't hurt and more so if you've tried for as long as I have. Thank god I found the shifting community here which is a thousand times better than others, thanks to the creators for sharing. I've never been so sure of something in my life, and I know that I'll get to where I belong soon. 🤍

Didn’t realize how long that was lol, but i just wanted to share my story for the people here who may find this kind of thing hard to believe. its real if you make it real, dont let the tiny voice in your head tell you other wise, punch it in the face i mean, imagine that you are pushing that thing in the face, for me it works doing that lol.

hope this may help someone, and have a great day and shift! 🤍

[aerkame]

Hi this is the person who had a lot of finfolk Howdy feelings. This turned into a wall of text so i completely understand if you decide not to post it

So this might be a bit of a ramble, and I don’t know much about finfolk lore. So I apologize if something doesn’t line up with the original lore, or I accidentally say something that conflicts with something you’ve previously mentioned.

Im imagining that Reader is a puppet from the port town on the mainland—the one that the neighbors commonly visit.

The mortal most likely meets Howdy for the first time during one of his trips to his restaurant. They had taken to going there on their lunch break and soon become a regular. Howdy is probably going by an alias and has shifted into another, smaller form (by his standards. he still towers over Reader) Still, he's outgoing by nature, and strikes up a conversation with the mortal.

They both find that they enjoy each other's company. Sometimes they can't talk for too long (the restaurant is busy. the mortal's work keeps them late. Howdy leaves for Home) but when they do meet, they find that time flies by.

Reader does take note of how he (very stylishly) keeps his arms and hands covered and how he's averse to touch. They assume it's a sensory thing.

Eventually, Reader opens up about their plans for their future. Specifically about their wanderlust. They talk about all the places they want to travel to-- major coastal cities, island nations-- places that, if they went, he could follow.

But, during another visit, Reader expands their list - backpacking through the country, hiking in the mountains, riding camels in the desert. And Howdy finds himself feeling very... possessive.

The more Howdy speaks to Reader, the more Reader opens up, and with that they begin to vent. They start to talk about an annoying thing their friend did, workplace drama, family gossip...

(this can be interpreted in two ways.

Either Howdy hears these minor annoyances and gossip, and builds them up into signs of a dangerous situation. Further justifying his possessiveness over Reader.

OR Reader really isn't in a good place on the mainland, but they just brush off any abuse like it's nbd. Meaning they're also not likely to catch onto any red flags Someone Else might be raising)

Whenever Howdy returns Home he gives updates on news from the mainland. That news can span from anything from major world events, any possible treats to them and Home, to simple gossip.

The neighbors start to notice Reader coming up often in these little updates. He mentions them more and more with each visit. And eventually the neighbors' eyes start to drift towards Wally.

Howdy was starting to sound like Eddie after he met Frank.

Maybe it was time to have a chat with Home...

Wonderlust is my new favorite word, next to sublime. Also I wanted to write only the aftermath of the neighbors asking Home for permission because I am already writing an x Howdy and I don't want to ruin that sweet sweet angst/romance. >.>

TW: Mentions plans of kidnapping and drugging, anything in Finfolk nature is a TW really.

It was no secret to everyone at this point that Howdy had eyes for you. The only problem was that you lived on the mainland and you were making plans to leave soon. Sure, it would be easy to just track you down again, but it would be better to have things done more quickly to attract less attention on things. It's hard having to keep track of witnesses and making mind-altering potions. Plus, they hate having to go through all the effort of pretending to be police or other government officials.

The rest of the neighbors seemed fine with you in all honestly. Having met you in person themselves in one form or another, they think you'd be a fine addition to their little island. All they needed was the approval of Home.

But of course, it wasn't difficult at all to get Home's approval. He already knew this entire time having watched you from his crystal baptismal font as the water kept rippling from place to place looking for your location. He's sure your adventurous nature would love what the peninsula and it's waters had to offer. They had surrounding reefs, caverns filled with crystals, and many more smaller islands nearby, all full of colorful creatures that don't exist on the mainland or anywhere else.

Now it was just a matter of getting you back home that needed to be taken care of. One of the neighbors could simply kidnap you in the dead of night, but you having a late-night job made things complicated. Either Howdy would need to invite you somewhere isolated where no one would be to do this or they would have to play things out slowly and wait for an opportunity.

No one wanted to wait however, from what things sounded like, things weren't exactly safe back at your own home and it seemed to be getting worse over time.

So, Howdy returned back onto the mainland with Sally and Frank.

Frank did his usual routine of shifting into a new person and taking on the persona of a police officer (Who would of thought he made for a pretty good cop huh?) and Sally went in with the disguise of a sweet florist that worked just down the street from where you lived. No one would even bat an eye at what took place here.

Howdy or Sally may or may not have had involvement in the death of the person that hurt you���oh well, it's not like anyone would remember that guy anyways! Literally. Not even you would remember.

Howdy was the only one to go in without a disguise, or at least staying in the form you knew him as. He had invited you to his restaurant as a treat, as a date really. You happily accepted.

It was so nice, so peaceful, and you were so easily tricked.

All it took was just a single touch to your hand and everything started to feel numb as your body gave out under you. With bare hands, Howdy carried you to the back of the restaurant to make a B-line for the back door. Not a single customer batted an eye, and not one employee or waitress gave the scene a second thought.

You awoke to bright rays of sunlight on your face. Sitting up, you found yourself in what had to be the softest and largest bed you've ever been in. Everything still felt so...tingly? Numb? What happened?

"Ah, I'm so glad you're awake minnow!"

I wanted to mention that the waitresses and employees at Howdy's seafood restaurant are cute remora dogs and shark dogs. Most of the customers tend to be sea-dwelling creatures like sirens, mermaids, etc.

[neptunescore]

Kinda off topic, but do you think that people forget that F1 is BOTH a drivers championship and constructors? People complain that certain drivers are washed and if they had a different car they wouldn’t be as successful. I saw Zak Brown (I hate him sm, I don’t even have a valid reason I just do LOL) say how Max is great but he wouldn’t win championships without RedBull dominance. But isn’t that the point? Almost every championship was won by a championship level car. That’s how dominance happens BECAUSE it’s whichever team is the best at the regulations. It’s literally why FIA always changes the regulations, people expect we’ll see a drivers true form when they are in a different car. Also he said how Lando would match Max in a straight fight and… I’m sorry to say but their grids when they began were two different worlds. I respect Lando as a driver and person (I did question his comment on the Orange but it is whatever, no one knows if it was for PR or out of his own mouth) but we have literal past champions and experts talking about the driver’s expertise. I’ll admit the car is a huge play (maybe like 70%) but the driver is who makes the difference. A good example is Lewis. I love him but everyone knows Mercedes downfall. He showed how much the car plays a role but also how good the driver has to be. We’ve seen him in China sprint be able to get second place because of good setup from the team and because he was able to make that difference. You can argue for many drivers such as Seb, Kimi, hell maybe add Max when he didn’t have the best car on the grid, they all won races even without the best car. Even if those wins were through safety cars or just plain strategy, which is something some teams really struggle in. McLauren happened to be the best car in Miami and had a good start (dare I say luck too) but you can also see from the other teams that everyone was struggling. No one improved their times Q3, a lot of complaints about the cars not being right. This is turning into a Zak Brown hate speech now but I think it’s important that he realizes for Lando to matchup with top drivers like Max or Lewis he needs consistency. Something that drivers such as Charles is good at. He’s still young and he has time but currently? He doesn’t stand a chance in equal machinery, different from what Zak previously stated.

Sorry for my rant!! I went off topic myself but I just think a lot of people in the media (cough twitter) forget how many teams care about the constructors championship more than the driver’s one. No one is a car merchant because there is no way you can make the car’s equal in all fields. Even if the driver isn’t the most important bit their expertise is what makes the difference!

...heyyy (im so sorry it took me so long to answer this ask anon😭, I swear I would've done sooner but at that point all of my asks were just hate crimes and I was NOT feeling the vibe. I'm back now!!!❤️🤗)

But anyway, YOURE SO RIGHT NONNIE. Ugh and this is smthng that acc makes me so irritated sometimes, bc in the end, f1 is more business than it is sport and teams NEED sponsors. I feel like alot of ppl forget that, like the drivers and teams literally DO have to pay to remain in the sport.

This means that the whole point of a team is to build the absolute best of a car they can, especially for teams at the top (rbr, ferrari, mclaren, mercedes), bc that's what the sponsors want. That's what the drivers WANT. They WANT a dominating car. They WANT a car that's 1 second ahead of the wholeass grid. They WANT that. And if top teams don't deliver that then yes, they ARE gonna lose both drivers and sponsors.

I feel like so many fans forget that f1 is literally the MOST competitive sport. No driver wants to be out there in equal machinery. They just want to WIN. Sponsors don't care how competing cars have been beaten, they just want the team they've picked to be ON TOP.

Now, away from all the money talk, fans who put EVERYTHING a driver achieves on to the 'car' just piss me off. You literally cannot be saying that. You cannot be saying max's dominance is only bc of the car when this man has a 20 SECOND GAP to the next car, while his teammate is literally fighting to make it to q3. Like please. Go look in the mirror and think abt ur comments bfr they leave your mouth😭. Monaco also proves that so well, the redbull car was absolute SHIT there, and max still managed to put it up in p6.

Who is not a Zak brown hater in this economy nonnie😌✊🏽, dw I completely get u. Literally no points to add to that bc everything uve said is so right. I feel like Zak just puts lando on a pedestal that lando has NOT achieved. There's still a long way for lando to go, and while I am happy for him and his first race win – Zak brown immediately saying lando is a championship competitor right after it is just hilarious to me😭. Like slow down bro, chill.

All in all, consistency is KEY. And literally not one driver wants to be in a car that's the same as their competitors.🤗

Edit: also nonnie, can I ask who ur fave team/ driver is?? I just like the way you talk and I wanna know so bad now.

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Round 2

Propaganda why Elena Gilbert is insufferable:

"I wouldn't have such a problem with her if she didn't get others involved. Liking two people at once isn't a problem. Stringing them along is a problem. Constantly hanging around people that she knows is actively trying to kill her/want her dead or their relatives is so stupid like don't do that maybe. Having people stop what they are doing and dropping everything(especially if it's important) because she is in danger/trouble. Making people have to make tough decisions, sometimes affecting other people, and then not even offering up an apology about it(looking at you season 3)"

"The first 3 seasons made her so bad!! I understand the trauma but stringing along 2 brothers was ridiculous. Like, make up your mind and stop toying with their emotions. And then everything was about her! Every time she was in trouble, everything had to be put on hold to find her and help her and sometimes she wasn't even grateful about it and would end up in stupid situations again and again and again. Lowkey, she's the reason why Bonnie has been through the wringer, especially in the 3rd season. But as the seasons progressed, she did start to warm up my cold little heart"

"have you seen the show? she has little to no common sense, no standards, makes the most boring choices for every scenario, and isn't a good person. the show acts like she's a golden child when she's really just a boring child. dating adult men. who stalk her. and her biggest personality trait is saying "Stefan!" and "Damon!" when she experiences any emotion. idk man Nina Dobrev did NOT get the role for her acting skills (or lack thereof) that's for sure"

"Her biggest problem seems to be choosing between Nice Guy™️ and Bad Boy™️?? Meanwhile her best friend Bonnie is cleaning up everyone's shit. Elena is what happens when adults write teenagers without ever having interacted with a teenager."

Propaganda why Feyre Archeron is insufferable:

"She is Miss Perfect Special Never Does Anything Wrong. Rhys with her is like Gordon Ramsay with children, EXCEPT SHE'S A GROWN ADULT. I didn't hate her tooooo much in books 1-3 (she was barely tolerable), but in the novella, she becomes this housewife First Lady type character who is fine doing paperwork after stating previously that she wants to be doing something more "important", and living in a McMansion. THEN THE FIFTH BOOK STARTS WITH HER HAVING AN "INTERVENTION" FOR HER SISTER, WHICH IS BASICALLY FEYRE TELLING NESTA THAT SHE'S GRIEVING INCORRECTLY. Bitch, who are YOU to tell someone that THEIR grief is making YOUR life uncomfortable?? "Wah wah the social implications" you're the literal queen, no one cares that your sister is embarrassing you.

Imo, Feyre is also the result of a lot of internalized misogyny on the part of the author, bc she has two men in love with her and gets along very well with every other male character that's not "evil", but many of the female characters are antagonistic or unhelpful towards Feyre, seemingly apropos of nothing. It's giving "I'm not like OTHER girls". She also very clearly doesn't want children but then miraculously changes her mind bc apparently female characters can't be fulfilled without children. 🙄

Oh and btw Feyre also manages to get the powers of EVERY fairy court ruler at the end of the first book. I DO NOT use the term "mary sue" lightly, as that label has been used against feminist characters a lot, but Feyre exemplifies the Mary Sue trope."

"SHES SO ANNOYING AND SO SO STUPID AND BY THE END SHE JUST BECOMES A COMPLETE DOORMAT AND LETS RHYS WALK ALL OVER HER tbh im more mad at the author for butchering her but she's still annoying as all hell"

"Thinks she’s the victim of everything. Destroys an entire Court. Forces an intervention on her sister who is grieving differently than Feyre is."

"She's the WORST. She's an asshole to her family but thinks she deserves to be worshipped by them because she hunts or whatever, feels entitled all the time, is ableist to her dad, is fantasy racist and turns from being racist to not being racist in a BLINK, is ridiculously overpowered and treated as oh-so-special by every single other character ... I hate her and I wish she would die. "

[redeyerhaenyra]

YOU WRITE FOR KANE??! ABSOLUTELY IM SENDING A REQUEST HAAHHAA

Can I pretty please request a Kane x reader smutty lil something where she KNOWS something is off but missed her husband so much she doesn't care.

Something's wrong with Kane

Summary: Your husband returns after 14 months MIA, but he's not entirely himself..

Warnings: Mentions of smut, spanking, slapping, sensory deprivation, blindfolds, one mention of PTSD, mention of both reader and Kane wanting children, kinda angst if you squint? if I missed any let me know!

Notes: Oooooooo this one was alot of fun to write, I need to do more stuff for Kane, he's so interesting and the prospects for him are so cool

Wc: 629

Something's wrong with Kane.

Not physically. Physically he's fine. Healthy, even. Just as strong as you remember him being.

But he wasn't the man you married.

When he'd returned after 14 months MIA, stumbling into your shared home in the middle of the night, you'd never been so happy to see him, only just having come to terms with the prospect of him never coming home. And yet here he stood.

Sure, he held you as you had cried into his chest, wrapping your arms around him in the worry he might disappear again if you let go, but his touch felt.. off. Like he wasn't sure what he was meant to do, as if taking in his surroundings for the first time. He didn't seem happy to see you, more perplexed by your attitude towards him. His eyes were foggy, like he remembered you, but couldn't quite place who you were to him. But you didn't care. Your husband was back, and that was all that mattered.

Rarely did you see him smile, now. And when he did, it was only with the slight upturn of his lips. He still expressed his affection, though in softer, smaller ways. A hand brushing the hair out of your eyes, or caressing your cheek in the ghost of a loving gesture. You'd take what you could get, though.

He was quieter. You hadn't realised how talkative he used to be, until he wasn't. It was just one of the many signs that he wasn't quite... himself, anymore. But you put all this down to PTSD, and didn't push him on the topic.

This, stoicism, this lack of feeling, had emigrated its way into your sex life as well. Before his disappearance, when he'd fuck you, all sorts would spill out of his mouth. Profanities, confessions of his love, details of how exactly you made him feel, as he was deep inside of you.

But now...

It was no less amazing, of course. In fact.. and you felt guilty for admitting this, but it was almost, better. He spoke only now in one-word commands; "Open, suck, quiet, faster, slow" and when he was finally done with you, "rest."

He was meaner, too. Bondage and sensory deprivation were never truly things you'd tried with him until he came back different. Now, it seemed, he had inherited a love for tying you up and blindfolding you. Spanking you and slapping you across the face, with a completely blank expression on his part. He'd only ever cum inside of you, and you'd missed him too much to complain.

Previously, you'd discussed that while you both wanted children, it just wasn't a good time to have them. Kane seemed to disagree now, as after he was done fucking you until you couldn't breathe, (the only sound you'd hear from him to indicate his pleasure was his heavy breathing in your ear), he would push his cum back into you, sometimes plugging you up to make sure his seed took root. Sometimes it'd be with his fingers, his cock, or sometimes he plunge your old bullet vibrator deep within you, saying no words to comfort you as you whimpered and writhed from the overwhelming stimulation.

As he held you now, post-coital, you had come to terms with the situation at hand. This wasn't Kane. This thing, this creature that wore his face wasn't your husband. But, it seemed to love you, in its own strange way. And so you were content to live with it. Even if it was only a slither of the real Kane, you take it, and hold it close.

Yes, there was something wrong with Kane. But you didn't care, because he was home now. And you were never letting him go again.

[autistook]

Okay so, I’m on anon because we’ve had 0 interaction previously and while I love your blog and do really want to get to know you better, I feel like you just need support rn.

Im going to share a little bit about my journey to see if it sounds a bit familiar to you (even if it doesn’t, that’s alright too!!). A bit about me: I’m a lesbian who that she was bi for ~8 years when I was young(er) and still figuring it out, because I knew I liked women but never seriously considered whether I actually liked men and just took it as a default that I did. I also sort of mentally tried to train myself into liking men via celebrity crushes etc. (something I know few of my gay guy friends also did in fear of not being bi), but obviously it didn’t work. I never actually slept with a man, but that’s more because whenever an opportunity would present itself I’d come up with a million excuses not to and less because I didn’t seriously consider it and I did feel like I wanted to. A lot of my thinking came down to me not being repulsed by the idea of having sex with a dick and instead actively fantasising about it. I thought that meant that I was *cured* as it were, and therefore couldn’t be a lesbian. When I got over that mental hurdle, I sort of realised that yeah, sex with a dick would be hot, but sex with a dick that’s a strap CONNECTED TO A WOMAN? 1000x hotter. And yeah, like you, I never really felt the same level of romantic attachment to the men in my life.

One thing I do want to say is that obviously for LGBT+ people it’s very common to view us getting to know ourselves better as a crisis, and it definitely feels like that. When I thought I was bi I didn’t really come out or anything and tried to keep my romantic life very seperate (partly because I did deep down think the label was off for me, but also yknow, that deep deep shame of internalised homophobia). BUT, it didn’t feel like a crisis in the same way realising I was a lesbian did. I think comphet really does mess with you mentally and it was pretty hard for me to come to terms with the fact that not only did I like women, but I didn’t like men. Once I did, I felt happier than I ever had in my life and I’m out and proud!! I think it might be worth thinking about why we articulate these things as a crisis to begin with and question what are the barriers in your own head preventing you from fairly considering the possibility you’re a lesbian.

On liking non-binary people, I sometimes feel guilty for finding nb people attractive when I’m a self-professed lesbian and they do not identify as a woman. But it’s not because I see them as women? It doesn’t stop me from calling myself a lesbian, however. Sexuality is complex and nuanced, but being attracted to an nb person now and then doesn’t take away from the fact that I’m a lesbian.

I hope this helps!!! Sometimes there isn’t a simple answer to these things and there doesn’t need to be. Labels are helpful, but not when they box you in or prevent you from finding yourself. I think the first step is to really think long and hard (lol) about why this is a crisis for you and what will change if you are lesbian.

Either way, remember to love yourself first and foremost and know there will always be sapphic sisters out here cheering you on 🌈❤️🏳️‍🌈

this helped a lot and made me shed a few tears. ♡

definitely a big part of me has always gone for men in relationships because it's "the norm" and makes stuff "easier".

I've always preferred women. that I do know.

I remember when me and some other girls from my class had a movie night and we talked about sex, and I said something like "I always get the ick when I think about penis and men" because I thought it was how everyone thought about it. everyone looked at me weird and turns out, I was the only one in our group who thought that lol

[chronic-toe]

Exploring my relationship with my mother per my therapist's request

Where do I even start? I state previously in therapy that I think I may have been SAed as a child and I came to the conclusion it could have been my mother. However, my noodle brain doesn't remember much from my childhood. There as an instance where I did experience a black out, but other than that I can't recall anything else. Some side comments and other events pertaining to my mom and some not ,are questionable. I told my therapist that I am thinking there might be some type of s trauma, cause of how I handle or approach things as an adult.

I always chalked it up to hating myself because Im big and what else could it be?

Social media made me realize that people who look like me are capable of love and seeing so many people be in relationships and me not be in one is hard.

Why am I so different than them?

I dont date because I hate the idea of being touched and being vulnerable in general. Something that comes so easy to others is so hard for me.

Which is so confusing cause other than my parents separation and me being fat - nothing else traumatic happened to me,, that I remember.

---

I told my therapist that I feel horribly uncomfortable even thinking I could have had something happen to me especially by my mother. She asked me why I thought this.

I told her that the endless crying I did as a child that I chalked up to me just being lonely and hating myself didn't really make sense. I told her how my mother asked me to play with her breasts once and how it made me uncomfortable. She was the only one I was left with when I was young that I dont really remember things. I had a babysitter and I remember things about them, which my therapist is the one that pointed this out when I mentioned how we would build forts and make grilled cheese.

I told her how the blackout I had happened. I only remember the start of the memory to the end of it. I dont remember the middle.

I was young and in my room with my cousin. we were facing each other and then the last bits of memory I have is him telling my mother and his mom that I tried to kiss him. I remember being shocked and saying that I dont remember anything happening which scared me, but he insisted it happened. As an adult now, I know that sometimes children who are assaulted can commit child on child sa and I also know when they grow up they could commit assault on someone. My mother was s a when she was younger. idk I wish I knew the truth about my childhood

I dont want to assume anything, but I can't help it with what I can and can't recall.

----

My mother was always hard on me about my weight and would shame me infront of my family and threaten me by saying I would get taken away if I couldn't lose weight. Being the only big child in my family of course I felt alone and disgusted of myself. My relationship with my mother only got worse once my parents separated and I couldn't stand to be around my mother. She changed. She partied and did a little snoot snoot and a little puff puff.

I hate thinking about her. this is all I can write about for now.