#and if i have to suffer for a full day id rather. not.

[autism-corner]

hm

[storiesfromgaza]

"Mom, does it hurt when we get bombarded? Do we feel the pain, or do we just die at once?"

These are the questions that Reporter Youmna El Sayed began with in her interview conducted by the AJ+ network to document her struggles with her children and the suffering of all the people of Gaza

When my kids ask me, 'Mom, does it hurt when we get bombarded? Do we feel the pain, or do we just die at once?' and I have to tell them, 'No, don't worry. It's not going to hurt.' Their father reassures them, saying, 'Don't worry. It just happens once, and that's it.' In the past, we would comfort our children, saying, 'Don't worry. It's going to be okay. It's going to end soon. You'll be fine. We'll be fine.' Everything is shaking—constantly. But now, every night, we tell them, 'Don't worry. We're together, sticking together. If we die, we die together.' Death has become a looming reality since the Israeli army encircled Gaza city. The bombardments have been relentless—from the land, air, and sea. Our building is in a perpetual state of tremor. Three days ago, we awoke to the smoke of nearby fires filling our homes. We sought refuge in the basement, the best option with the least smoke, but it was still overwhelming. The kids were coughing, suffocating, and their eyes were itching. But when it comes to my children, it just hits me so hard, Dina, and I just feel that I can't control it anymore. I can't be that strong, brave woman who's able to control things or get things under control because they're my weak part. I feel a loss of control, unable to maintain the facade of strength and bravery. Judy, usually full of life, now appears quiet and terrified

She doesn't eat much. She doesn't feel like doing anything. I tried to speak to her about things, you know, bring back some happy memories, and I said, as usual, 'What would you like to do the first thing after this war ends?' She told me, 'Mommy, I don't want to do anything except for this war to end. I just want these bombardments to end, everything—the destruction, the despair, the loss.'

I think they tell you that now—we're just hearing news of people dying every now and then—people that we know, friends, colleagues, everyone around us. And it just, you know, really, like, 'May he rest in peace,' and that's it. I just—we just go on because we were just waiting for our turn. You mentioned to me that food is scarce and supplies are low. What is the water situation? We can starve, right? We can go on without food, even as adults. But without water, I'd rather die from bombardments than die from thirst. I don't want my kids at the end to die from thirst. Are you still thinking to move south, and what would that look like? The last attempt was a couple of days ago, and we found out that to move south, we need to walk for at least 6 to 7 km on foot and not carry anything at all with us—none of our belongings. Basically, walk this distance while we raise our hands to show that we surrender, just holding our IDs in one hand and raising the other. And I think that's just extremely humiliating. And it's not just that, you know?

You remember the massacre that everyone saw on TV screens for the civilians that were bombarded on the road? They're still lying there. Until this day, lying there in the streets, their bodies. The crows and the birds are eating from them, and no one has been able to pick them up. The Israeli army has not allowed anyone or ambulances or any medical teams to come to pick these people up and to bury them. How can I let my kids go through a street while they see other children and other people killed and thrown just like that, lying in the street like that, while birds are eating from them? I think that this is just inhumane and more cruel than anything. This is not to worry about fighting Hamas or Palestinian fighters. This war began by eliminating and wiping out the Palestinian people in Gaza. This isn't a war against Palestinian fighters nor Hamas; it's a genocide against Gaza.

[gettinshiggywithit]

Can you do a fukuzawa, ranpo, kunikida, dazai, chuuya, (you can add more if you want :) except the kids though) x stalker reader (I'd like it to be slightly suggestive)

!The BSD Boys X A Stalker!Reader!

Scenario:- how I think the bsd boys would react to having a stalker (reader is a bit yandere-y and creepy?)

Pairing(s):- dazai x gn!reader | chuuya x gn!reader | ranpo x gn!reader | kunikida x gn!reader

Genre:- im not really sure...

Type:- headcanons

A/N:-Hi there! SO I know you said u wanted it to be suggestive,but truth be told I don’t really see them taking it lightly enough for it to become suggestive… Now I know that not all writers on here will think that but I try to make my interpretations of how they would react in certain situations as accurate as possible.so I truly would like to apologize in advance for it not being what you expected/wanted🤕. @thesimpupthesky id love to hear ur feedback even if it isn’t necessarily positive 😓!

Disclaimer:- There’s nothing even remotely romantic about this.#prepare for blatant rejection and uncomfortable scenarios if you wanna go forward

->Dazai

Honestly he found it amusing,how you sent letters and little things and he found it even more amusing how you thought he wouldn’t know who you were.

Dazai was a man of many talents and finding out information he wanted and needed was one of them.

So he decided he’d give you the chance to talk to him,or rather for him to talk to you.

The next day dazai left the agency building for a little walk,knowing full well you’d follow him.

Once he was about to pass an alley,he turned into it instead of just going straight.

This confused you.

You’d been studying his routes and his schedules and the only thing he visited around here other than the café was the convenience store that always seemed to have a deal on bandages,and even that was a few blocks away.

Nevertheless,you followed him into the alley,maybe you could talk to him? Finally hear his voice speaking to you..

But when you turned the corner the alley was empty

You walked in and looked around,how could he have vanished??

Just as you were about to give up and leave you felt someone’s presence behind you.

you turned around you were met with the object of your admirations.

The man himself

Osamu dazai

And suddenly you were nervous…

No words came out of your mouth when you tried to speak,so he decided to fill the awkward silence himself.

“so you’re the one who’s been stalking me,” he said with a  laugh. “I was honestly hoping for a more challenging opponent”

This snapped you out of your trance.

“opponent? I-I don’t want to be your opponent…”

“what do you want to be then?”he asked,the look in his eyes showed he knew the answer.

“i…I wanna be your partner;as in,in a romantic sense”

“so you want to date me? Well im sorry to disappoint,but im not interested”

“but-”you began and were immediately cut off

“I’d like to be with someone who would be willing to commit double suicide with me,and im guessing that you aren’t hmm?”

“i-”

“mhmm,”he said turning around to leave the alley,  “that’s what I thought”

“but I love you!”

He turned back to look at you before leaving the alley, “how tragic”

And with that he was gone

->Chuuya

Honestly it really pissed him off.

Everyday,his mail was filled with letters and little knick knacks you’d sent him and it was getting really really annoying,because you’d had the brilliant idea of making your letters look like official ones he actually needed to open.

He’d gotten pretty good at telling when it was one of your bs ones or his actual mail now.but he’d always end up goin thru the ones he’d sorted out too.

He couldnt risk missing anything important.

And while it did make Chuuya’s life a living hell,he didn’t think you were worth engaging.so he suffered in silence.

That is,until he received a rather unsavoury package.

“Unsavoury how op?”You must be asking!

Well lets say he knew it was a bs letter when he saw the package alone.

Because it was wet.

He grabbed a paper towel and used it to toss the package aside,looking through his actual letter pile to make sure nothing important had been soiled as a result of your annoying-ass shite.

Thankfully nothing had been ruined but when he had finished work that day,his curiosity got the best of him and he put on a pair of disposable gloves to open the package (AINT NO WAY IN HELL HES TOUCHIN THAT SHIT WITH HIS ACTUAL GLOVES! NAH UH!)

When he opened the envelope a set of undergarments fell out,and they were...nope he wasn’t gonna finish that thought!

This was the final straw!

This had gone on long enough and he was fed up.

Chuuya used the mafia’s resources and was able to find someone who could find out who tf you were

Once he had his answer he looked at your address and thought he’d give you about as much of a surprise you had him.

He picked open your lock and stood by your window all the photos and pictures of him you had tacked around, making his skin crawl.

just as you were coming in through the door you noticed a figure by your window and squeaked out loud in shock,dropping your bags.

“You-you’re-”

“The person you’ve been fkin inconveniencing,yeah” he said,taking a purposeful step towards you.

You took a step back,this wasnt how you’d envisioned your meeting! He wasn’t supposed to be mad...why was he mad??

“Inconvenience? I never meant to inconvenience you!” You squeaked out.

Chuuya didn’t even try to hide his disdain at that.but he also wanted to get out of there asap!

He looked you directly in the eye and said in the most intimidating voice you’d ever heard, “either you leave me the fxck alone,or ill send my subordinates to take out the trash.”

You were so shook by this that you fell over backwards and he took that as his cue to leave.

He held onto his hat and ducked back through the window.

this snapped you out of your train wreck of thoughts.

You reached out to him and shouted,clear as day and loud enough to be heard, “BUT I LOVE YOU!”

He looked back at you and the disgust that came over his sharp features managed to distort them in a surprisingly unattractive way

“Not my fuxkin problem!”

And with that he disappeared and your entire reality came crashing down as the fog cleared and you realised just what had happened.

->Ranpo

“Ooh mail!” He said as he went through the pile kunikida had brought up for him.

But nope. None of the snacks he’d ordered had come yet. And he knew better than to eat mystery candy from strangers,his dad boss fukuzawa had taught him better.

This was the fourth day too...

Ack he was sick of this!

Ranpo quickly deduced your location and asked dazai to take care of it.

He knew dazai’s past from the mafia and he really wasn’t bothered to go himself.

But he also knew dazai wouldn’t do anything unnecessary,so he was the perfect choice!

When dazai came back ranpo asked him how it went

“Oh,nothing special,just some poor soul stuck in a delusion”

To which ranpo nodded,commenting that it was finally over.

“Yeah about that,they said they loved you...sounded pretty convinced you loved em too.”

Ranpo knew this,but he asked dazai what his response had been nevertheless.

“Ah,” said Dazai, falling into the chair next to ranpo’s.

“I just told them that you had better things to do and better people to spend your time with.”

“ a bit harsh?”

“Mhm,but you know there wasnt any other way.”

Ranpo nodded once again and went back to his snack and cartoon.

The next days came and went and ranpo finally had his regular mail on schedule.

Now his pile was of boxes of sweet drinks,snacks and even more delights!

->Kunikida

This entire ordeal irked kunikida to his core

It neither made sense according to his ideals,nor did it make sense in general

Furthermore your letters and packages were becoming a nuisance

He had to end it.

Kunikida asked katai to find your location and when it was handed to him he took it and left.

Thirty minutes was all he allocated for this entire situation ,and he aimed to end it within his pre-set time frame.

He knocked on your door and when you answered it,you were obviously taken aback!

You struggled to find words so he filled in the silence.time was ticking after all...

“Good day,y/n. Im sure you know who i am but im here to tell you that i am not interested in you.you fail to meet all the criteria to fit into my spousal plan project and you have shown a severe lack of honorable ideals.therefore i would like you to leave me alone and allocate your time more constructively.thank you and good day.”

He bowed and turned to leave but you gripped his arm and with determination dripping from your every word said, “but i love you! We’re meant to be!”

He sharply shook off your hand and barely even looked at you as he said, “i wholeheartedly disagree.take care and goodbye.”

And then he left without even sparing you a glance.

All rights reserved © 2023 gettinshiggywithit . Please do not repost, modify or claim as yours.

[kny-agere]

First Meeting

Cg!Hinatsuru & Little!Reader

★彡☆彡★彡

You’ve been talking to Hinatsuru online for months, almost a year, so it really shouldn’t be scary. You’ve covered all bases. She’s sent several pictures of herself (and her id), even following specific instructions. You’re meeting in a public space. All your friends have your location pinged.

That’s not what scares you though. The thought of her somehow being a serial killer is much less scary than the other prevailing idea. You’re terrified that she’ll decide that this isn’t what she wants, or that you’re not what she wants.

In fear of not showing up at all you instead get to the cafe early. You only order a small side of fries to keep yourself busy without ruining your appetite. It might be a useless endeavor however considering your stomach has dug itself into a hole. Under the table your legs tremble. Several times you have to wipe your sweaty palms onto your jeans.

When the bell rings gently— signaling someone’s entry —you don’t notice Hinatsuru’s arrived until she takes the seat across from you.

“Hi! It’s so nice to meet you in person.” She’s smiling so wide at you. The only thing you can offer is a weak imitation of a grin.

You wipes your hand on your pants one last time before offering it for her to shake. “It’s gr-great to- um, great to see you too.” You can feel how smooth and pleasantly warm her hand is. Your own is still damp despite all your efforts.

The waiter, who had been eyeing you pitifully while you sat alone, comes straight to your table as soon as the other woman had settled down.

“Order whatever you want. I can foot the bill.” She smiles again and you might be blinded.

“Are you sure? Please don’t feel like you have to, I can take care of myself.”

“I know but that’s not the point. I want to help out.” The tone to her words makes you nod silently.

Hinatsuru orders a lot of food, mostly sides. You settle on a small soup. Despite the fact that she’s exactly the same as she is online you can’t shake your fears. With your stomach still in knots you can barely choke down your fries that are now cold and rather unappetizing.

“So, how have you been lately?” She makes direct eye contact that you can’t return.

“Good. I just finished mid-terms. That’s why I’ve been so busy, sorry.”

“No need to apologize. It’s good that you take your studies seriously.”

There’s an awkward beat of silence. This never happens over text. “Um right, how are you?”

“Oh I’m doing fine! I’ve just been really looking forward to meeting in-person.”

“Me too!” Your words rush out too quickly. “I never done this kinda thing before- I guess you knew that.” Laughing in a too high pitch you avert your eyes.

Conversation doesn’t flow as easily when you’re put on the spot. Hinatsuru doesn’t seem to mind any of your pauses or stumbling sentences but you note every single one. A few times you even start to answer questions with a full mouth, only to hide it behind your hand in embarrassment.

You’re sure any moment she’ll decide it’s time to end your suffering and simply leave but she never does. Even when you excuse yourself to the restroom for a brief moment (secretly hoping she’ll have disappeared just so you can go back to hiding in bed) she waits patiently at the table.

“Are you finished eating?” You’ve been picking at a bowl of cold fries for 20 minutes now. Her asking is just a formality.

Nodding hesitantly you follow her up to the counter. She pays and lunch is over.

“Do you still want to go back to your place?” The woman leads you towards the exit. It’s pleasant outside. “I know we talked about it, but it’s ok if this is enough for one day.” You’re nervous condition is clear but hearing her acknowledge it makes you flinch.

Hinatsuru reaches for your hand and squeezes it reassuringly.

“Um y-yea I think that’d be good.”

She takes you to her car, which is a rather nice one. You don’t know enough to specify the type. All you can tell is that it’s shiny and clean and smells wonderful.

The woman drives smoothly. You barely sway as she breaks and starts. At some point she brushes her hand against yours resting on the divider between the seats. When you don’t pull away (although you do jerk slightly) she slips it against yours. Embarrassed by her poorly hidden glances you look out the window.

She doesn’t bother you much, letting quiet music and monotone directions fill up the space rather than your voices. Every few minutes you glance at the estimated arrival time. As it ticks closer you grow stiff once more. A soft thumb rubs over the back of your hand but isn’t enough to lull you into a calmer state.

You’re worried about sweaty palms again, but more worried that if you let go she won’t recapture your hand. Any focus you had is forced to bounce between several sources of anxiety.

“Can I just park anywhere or is there designated guest parking?”

You blink and recognize your apartment building outside the window. “Oh um, you gotta go to the end.”

She slides into a spot. When Hinatsuru puts the car into park she untangles her hand from yours. You take a moment to wipe your palm against your pants.

You’re excited when you hop out of the car and she slides up to your side again. “I’m excited to see your room,” she says. “I only get glimpses from your pictures.”

“Well it’s not very big so you’ve probably seen more than you realize. Sorry I should’ve said that before, um, in case you wanted to go somewhere nicer.” There’s a little tremble at the end of your words.

Hinatsuru grabs your hand again and squeezes it. “Don’t feel bad, I’m up for whatever you want. As long as you’re comfortable.”

“You’re really nice.” You’re not expecting it but she blushes lightly at the gentle compliment. Cuddling against her side your face grows warm too.

The woman lets your lean against her the whole walk to your apartment. In fairness it’s not a particularly long walk but you enjoy the closeness.

You fumble with the keys for a moment. The immediate loss of physical contact leaves you chilled.

Pushing inside there’s not much to look at, just the default blankness of the apartment. “Um, my room is prettier.” You feel the need to justify the emptiness of the lounge.

“It’s nice in here! Honestly I think Tengen overdecorates sometimes.”

You can’t do anything other than nod. You wish you were strung on her arm again. “I didn’t have- have anything specific in mind so I jus’ kinda left my room like normal.” It trails off into a mumble at the end. You allow her inside. While she looks around the space you keep your eyes focused on the ground.

“It’s so pretty baby! You have a good eye for color.”

It doesn’t cure your silence but does burn your cheeks.

“And you wanna keep going?” Hinatsuru takes a moment to cradle you in her arms. You’re happy to lean into the touch.

“Y-yeah.”

“Do you want to change into something more comfortable?” Her hand slips over your back.

“Um, yes please. Can you pick it out?” You’re still standing in the middle of your rather small room.

“Alright! Do you have certain clothes for this?”

Should you? “No. My jammies are in the bottom drawer though.” You suddenly feel like your single matching set and several mismatched pairs are inadequate. Though you exchanged photos as a way to prove your identity, it wasn’t common to send candids. She’s probably just curious.

“And do you have any toys you wanna get out? Do you wanna use your paci?” She strides forward with confidence, kneeling to look through your sleepwear options.

“I got just a box. Sorry it’s not very much.”

Hinatsuru turns around, she’s picked out a polka-dotted blue pair of bottoms. “You don’t need to be sorry! I didn’t mean to be presumptuous. I just thought you’d have things you wanted to get out.”

“No I do- but, well I figured you’re used to having more.” Looking down you shrink into yourself.

Hinatsuru approaches you slowly. She wraps an arm around you, and then pulls you into her. After only a second something in you budges and tears are slipping down your cheeks.

For a moment she doesn’t speak. The woman simply rubs your back and sways gently. A few times you try to explain yourself through blubbering sobs but Hinatsuru just shushes you gently.

You stand there for a few minutes. Your legs kind of hurt from being locked in place but you don’t notice that until you’re let go and allowed to move. It couldn’t have been more than five minutes but you feel exhausted.

“Are we feeling a lot of emotions right now?” Hinatsuru guides you until you’re settled on the bed. As you nod a thumb drifts towards your lips. Before it can make contact the woman places a pacifier in its place.

At first you try to speak around the intrusion in your mouth. Realizing your words are unintelligible you simply nod.

“Should I go?” She barely gets the words out before tears are flooding your face again. A hand grips onto her shirt so tight you’re scared you might rip it. “Hey, it’s ok I was just asking. I’ll stay if you want.” Hinatsuru has to slowly unwind your hand from her clothes.

“How about we get you changed then, and we can have a good long nap.” She pulls away slowly, only for a moment. Picking up the pajamas that had been discarded she places them on the edge of your bed.

It takes quite a bit of wiggling to help her strip you down. When you’re not in the mood to move too much this is the best you can offer. The new set slides on easily with Hinatsuru’s help. Soft cotton is much more comfortable than rough jeans.

Taking another moment to pause the woman looks for anything else you might have to offer. Opening the box that had contained your pacifier she finds a small collection of other items tucked inside. There’s some fuzzy brown socks, which she pulls out, alongside a sippy cup. The only item she leaves is the canister of oat puffs. That’s a snack you can enjoy on your own.

When she rises you’re in much of the same position. As Hinatsuru comes back into view you reach out for her once more.

She doesn’t yet fall into your arms, leaving you with a confused frown. First she has to coax your feet out from underneath the warm covers. Before she puts the socks on her fingers lightly scratch the bottom on your feet. The woman has to dodge an unintentional kick as you squirm about. Laughing Hinatsuru holds your ankle, again tracing a path along the ticklish area. You squeal loudly as she continues with a motions. It’s not until there’s tears in your eyes that she takes the opportunity to slip on the socks.

And again you expect her to crawl in the bed beside you, displeased when she doesn’t. You’re not inclined to sit up quite yet, but you do angrily wiggle your fingers.

“Wait one moment baby, do you want me to fill up your bottle?”

“Shocolate ‘ilk.”

“Ok, I’ll be right back.”

You’re too comfortable in bed to wonder if you should’ve given her more proper directions. Trusting she’ll find the chocolate powder tucked away in a cabinet you instead focus on trying to remain awake. In the absence of a body next to you, you instead wrap yourself around one of your many stuffed animals. The soft fur against your cheek keeps dragging your eyes closed. Each time you blink you feel as if the darkness around you lasts for a moment longer.

The moment weight settles on the bed once more you shoot upwards. You have to scramble for awareness briefly but Hinatsuru moves closer as you wave your arms about awkwardly.

You’re bed isn’t quite made for two but you carve out space. It helps when she cradles most of your body against hers. You get to bury your face against her warm neck.

“I thought you were hungry.” You had forgotten the cup in her hold. It takes a bit more shifting to get into a better pose, moving down slightly so you lay against her chest. Though the model visually leans more towards that of a sippy cup it works like a bottle. She tips the edge into your mouth, happy to let you suckle the silicone teat. Hinatsuru is careful to hold it in such a position that you’re not overwhelmed by the speed of its release.

Her other hand wraps around your back to the intertwine with one of your own. Occasionally you’ll release your hold to tug and grasp at her long fingers.

When you’ve finished the contents of the cup, and before she places the pacifier back you make your peace. “S-sorry ‘m not wantin’ to play. It’s boring probably.”

“Don’t say sorry. You’ve never done this with someone else right? It’s normal to be feeling a lot of things.”

“Yea but, um-“

“No buts! We’re gonna hang out again right? Don’t act like this is the only time you’re gonna see me. I’m excited to do whatever you want.”

“I love you m-mama.”

Her fingers pull you closer. “I love you even more.”

[hp-fanfic-archive]

Remus/Sirius Humor Masterlist | Works With Less Than 5k Words [2/2]

find the full masterlist directory here

last updated: 08/16/24 | links last checked: 08/16/24

Night: Shadows from Five Billion Trees by Amuly [E, 3k]

Every childhood is filled with magic – school of witchcraft and wizardry or no.

Not So Invisible by Marie_Thomas [T, 4k]

James Potter gets a lot more than he bargained for one Saturday afternoon in his seventh year at Hogwarts, when he decides to hide under his Invisibility Cloak in the Restricted Section of the library so that he can play a practical joke on Sirius…

Nothing On by LadyACDoyle [T, 1k]

The two-way mirrors didn't always unite James and Sirius. Before doubts and decisions came into play in the shadow of Peter's betrayal, Remus was the keeper of the other side. And maybe, the keeper of Sirius' heart.

*Of Motorbikes and McGonagall by sqvalors [G, 2k]

In which Remus does a lot of a eye-rolling, Sirius pushes his luck and Christmas turns McGonagall to their favour.

On Werewolves and Bisexuality by Knightfrog1248 [G, 1k]

In which the long-suffering Remus painstakingly explains to James what bisexuality is as they go down to the lake to tease the giant squid.

Once Upon A Time (A Wolfstar Fairy-tale) by WolfstarPups90 [G, 2k]

Sirius can't sleep. Remus tells him a story, and any characters, places and incidents portrayed are fictitious and any resemblance to persons dead or alive is purely by coincidence.

Padfoot’s Seven Step Plan to Ensnare Moony for Life by Remy_Writes5 [T, 3k]

Sirius realizes during his fourth year at Hogwarts that he's in love with Remus. He decides to formulate "A Plan."

peer pressure by xylodemon [T, 1k]

In which Remus is not interested, Peter didn't forget the monkshood, James would like everyone to hear him out, and Sirius thinks the plan needs a little more Furnunculus. (podfic available)

*quandary by miastree [T, 4k]

There's also the small.. big… problem that Remus has, other than the furry one and the grades one and the worrying-about-the-future one and the money one, and that's his Sirius Problem. He's come to the conclusion that the fluttery feeling in his chest will never really go away.

*Quiet by merlywhirls [Not Rated, 2k]

Remus and Sirius enjoy a rare moment of peace in their dorm on Christmas the day after a full moon.

Self-Insert by Wereflamingo [T, 1k]

Remus and Sirius both write self-insert fics in the same fandom. One day Sirius asks to borrow Remus's OC for his new fic. What could he possibly be planning, and what is the mystery pairing he promised to introduce?

Sirius Black and the Incident with the Babbling Bush by MonkeyZero [T, 2k]

While helping Remus with his chores, Sirius finds someone, or rather something to confide his feelings to. “But the point is, Remus is so gorgeous and sexy it drives me wild just being close to him. We’ll be doing something perfectly ordinary, like breaking into Filch’s office to embroider his awful overcoat with pink hearts, and I’ll just look over at Remus and think Oh Merlin I want to bang him.

Sirius Possibilities, aka The Logic of Sirius by Tpants [T, 3k]

Sirius buys a "cottage" for Remus and him. Obviously, there is a lot of work to do and Sirius has some high expectations.

Snogging Nog by Ineffabilitea [T, 2k]

In which Sirius pulls off a Christmas prank, Remus makes a list, James is over-dramatic, and Peter is concerned for Remus' health.

*Tartan Tribulations by sqvalors [T, 1k]

In which Remus' clothes mysteriously disappear, McGonagall is surprisingly collected and Sirius is, as usual, insufferable.

Texts From Last Night by christabellamotte [M, 1k]

(Sirius): I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude…. never let me have firewhisky again. (James): The nail polish was Lily’s. You insisted it brought out the sparkle in your eyes. (Remus): For the record: it did not. (Sirius): It does too! (Or, a texting fic from your favourite very small gang based around some of TFLN's best offerings.)

the charm of your arms 101 by driedupwishes [T, 3k]

“Should’ve known,” Sirius continued, “that boring old goodie-goodie Remus would rear his head eventually. He always does…” Remus went still, tension suddenly back in his shoulders. Sirius lifted his head to grin at him, broad and pleased and completely unapologetic, because there was nothing more Remus hated than being cast as the kiss ass and Sirius Black fucking knew it. Remus didn’t even pause. He threw himself across the couch, slung his arm around Sirius’ neck, and hauled him up in one gangly limb tangled stumble. Sirius squawked, fingers curling in Remus’ jumper as he floundered to his feet, and for one fucking brilliant moment they were nose to nose, breaths mingling, Sirius’ eyes going warm and soft in the dying light of the fire and Remus forgot what it was he was trying to do. “Is this part of the lesson, teach,” Sirius whispered, waggling his eyebrows like the annoying git he was. Remus loved him all the same.

*the doc was called Halloween babeyy by dduucckk [T, 1k]

a self indulgent halloween fic with pumpkin shenanigans, meet cutes, and texting. “They’re battle scars,” Remus repeated. “And you can’t call him just ‘pumpkin’ anymore, his official title is the PumpKing and he requires it to be used at all times.” Remus finished carving out the last scar, and picked up the sharpie to draw the outline of a crown near the top of the pumpkin. One he was satisfied, he picked up his knife and started cutting along the lines. “In that case,” James said, “Mine’s the PumPeasant and he looks like this because of a childhood disease.”

The Electric Fizzing Prick Pistols, or Whatever by whitmans_kiss [T, 3k]

Everyone is born with Words on their arm that connect them to their Soulmate. James finds his, Sirius had everything figured out back in First Year, Peter doesn’t talk to girls anyway, and Remus thinks he’d very much just like to put his earmuffs back on and disappear. (russian translation available) | (chinese translation available)

The Great Golden Gormless Worm of Flobber by sheafrotherdon [M, 3k]

A lovesick Sirius is a desperate thing, and Remus Lupin insists on being oblivious. (podfic available)

The Incident by lindsaylaurie [T, 2k]

Remus rejects Sirius’ advances because he’s afraid of things changing between them.

The Night Before by jlpierre [M, 3k]

Sirius Black has lost his wand, and using limited memories of the night before, he has to retrace it before Remus loses his cool.

*The One Where They Got Married by Sonamae [T, 2k]

Walkies, Tea Time, and Showers, Oh my.

The Talk by WolfstarPups90 [M, 1k, Harry/Draco]

Sirius and Remus think it's time they give Harry "The Talk" when they find he's been sneaking out at night to see someone special. (russian translation available)

The Wardrobe by KinugoshiDofu [M, 1k]

“I can’t believe that of all the places we could be hiding, we’re actually hiding in a closet,” Sirius huffed, “the irony.” Except Remus is pretty sure that it is not a closet, but in fact a wardrobe and there is nothing ironic about this situation - they will not be laughing joyfully about it later, later they will be dead.

We Live Here Now by NeonDomino [T, 3k]

Sirius and Remus turn up at Privet Drive and decide they live there now, much to the Dursley's distress. Whatever will the neighbours think!

Welcome to the Family by Jencala [M, 2k, Harry/Draco]

Remus turned to face his husband. “Your godson is engaged to a Malfoy. He’s used to the finer things in life and I, for one, would like to make sure this dinner is not only pleasant, but that he knows we are not peasants.” Sirius barked a laugh. “So the truth is, you want to show off for the little bugger!”

*denotes personal favorite

[castleofcuntdracula]

Since I'm saving up for some things, and working on flexing some specific authorial muscles in advance of a big project, I thought I'd open up fic coms! £10 = 1000 words + however much I feel like continuing on a topic of your choice from this selection.

Not sure how tumblr will handle that image, so, full transcription/ID below:

A comission information sheet styled to resemble a pub menu or catalogue page. The heading reads "Gored Renfields, direct from my nightmares". The menu offers various pre-categorised scenarios, including cannibalism, guro, breeding, sickfic, and impact play.

Directly below the heading is text reading as follows:

BRUTAL SCENES of gore and agony will be wrought upon this man! Unlock your inner Dracula and watch our collective blorbo squirm as he suffers any of the options among this salacious selection. All described in this catalogue have been hand-picked directly from heart-pounding nightmares, and some even discussed in chat! Renfield may be subject to mutilation, mastication, and more as the events in this menu of the macabre unfold, and no inch of him is off- limits! Read through, consider these creations, & pick your- or rather, his- poison. Orders filled within three weeks.

The leftmost column is titled "Cannibalism", and is subdivided into the following options, each of which have an image, title, and subtitle:

Hog Roast. This text is accompanied by a black and white illustration of a roast suckling pig.

Subtitle: Trussed up and served is where Renfield starts this course...

He's the centrepeice of a spectacular meal, bound, gagged, and ready to be served. Spiced with historical dining knowledge and reveling in his inability to scream, this dish is for you if you like cannibalism, propriety rituals, and a good, gory party. Comes in human-on-human, vampire-on-human, and a milder role-play option (v).

Tapped Tree. This text has a black and white illustration of a metal spile, from which a drop of liquid hangs, hammered into a taphole in a tree.

Subtitle: Watch. Him. Bleed.

Did you know that a man of Renfield's height and weight has nearly 6 litres of blood? In this course, you can test this for yourself- watch as a variety of blood-related bad luck befalls our best boy. Is he serving the role of punch bowl at a vampiric soiree? Being drained dry as a punishment for failing to provide for his master? Offered up to the brides of Dracula, in an attempt to make peace? Or some devious scenario of your own creation? Either way, this option is a bloody good time!

Lethal Chef. This is accompanied by an illustration of alice and the cook from Alice's adventures in wonderland.

Subtitle: Most chefs try not to cut their fingers...

Renfield doesn't get the chance. Our favourite chew-toy really becomes one in this dish, wherein he is forced to prepare his own flesh. ALL of his body is available in this option; if he's not flexible enough to reach your favourite cut , someone else will retrieve it for you. Watch as he struggles through slicing, seasoning and searing parts of his own body; soothed by shallow healing or abandoned to your tastes. Options range from a brief, painful episode of autocannibalism, to a day slaving over a hot stove preparing his parts to feed a massive party. The choice is yours with this flexible, delectable form of torment.

Serve man. This is accompanied by an 1800s era illustration of various cuts of beef.

Subtitle: asking the delicate question.

In this world, it's eat or be eaten... This dish allows Renfield, at long last and probably against his will, to join his master in the consumption of human life. Be it snowed-in survival cannibalism or the privilege of sharing in a victim, this is what to order if you want to see Renfield with a mouthful of his kith and kin. There's a thousand ways to serve a cut of meat, and he's available for all of them-be it braised broiled or fresh enough to still be hot, this option sends Renfield to the ultimate culinary frontier.

The centre column is dominated by an outlined box containing the title "Butcher's Block", and a black and white photograph of the backroom of a butcher's shop. Below the photograph is the subtitle "Prime Cuts, Prime Prices!" Can you use into a description reading as follows:

In this à la carte atrocity, watch as Renfield is sectioned off and sold for consumption. You will get your pound of flesh be it back bacon, rump steak, or hawk; as well numerous others in this story! Farm-fresh and withing in agony, this dish features a Renfield being slowly and expertly deconstructed, with a variety of options resulting, including market stalls, wholesale halls, and a glimpse at how the sausage is made. Sprawl him out on the butcher's block in back or portion him out nicely and perfect packaging-this option is the best to really get into the meat of the man.

Below this are two text inserts. They read, in all caps: "amateur anatomist author, expert in pain" and "everything £10; less than a penny per word"

Below this, a section with headings for "scrap auction" and "highest bidder". There are two pictures of auction houses. These share a subtitle, which reads "sell his body, watch him suffer". The description is as follows:

Our dear Renfield is up for auction; standing in front of an audience in watching them assess his worth! Either piecemeal, is in the scrap auction option, or wholesale going to the highest bidder. What has he done to get himself sold? is it a true turning point in his life, or all some game he doesn't know he's playing? in this option, you can find out.

Below this is a section with the heading as you wish (customs). This has the subtitle "what, dear diner, is your will? Build your own, by the word." Below this are pricing options for custom one shots, all of which cost one pound per 100 words comma except the final, which is £20 for 2,500 words.

The lowermost block of the center column is split in half. On the left, is a section titled "inner world", with the subtitle "SCALPEL!" its description reads as follows:

This surgical smorgasbord is perfect for the medically-mine did among us. Rich with detail on organs, operations, and contemporary medical technology, this dish eschews surface-level suffering to explore what Renfield is like on the inside.

On the right, a section titled "Local Ails", with the subheading "Sick and twisted". Its description reads:

Drawing on a degree in immunology in a hundreds-strong Goodreads shelf dedicated to novel set in sanatoriums, this dish explores the horrors of pre-modern medicine, and of a Victorian immune system meeting modern germs. Be it consumption, cholera, or covid, choose this option to see our adored at his most afflicted.

The rightmost and final column is titled "smut". Like the left, it is divided into options. The first of these is titled "blood play", and headed by a Victorian medical illustration of the blood vessels and musculature of the neck, accompanied by the caption "Feel him from the inside". It's description is as follows:

Sex, blood, & rock and roll combine in this option, where Renfield bears his heart and soul in the bedroom. The author turns their anatomical knowledge to the sport of tormenting one R.M, revealing hidden facets, that they might be fucked. Be it woundfucking, knife play, biting or beyond, this is where to look if you like to taste sex and violence in the same bite.

The next title is spare the rod. It is accompanied by a woodcut of a man being flogged with a cat-o'-nine-tails. It has the subtitle "...Or not". Its description reads:

This dish sets this mess of a masochist up with exactly what he needs-a firm hand and a sore arse. In this option you'll find the cane, the tawse, the birch and more. If you want to see Renfield flogged, bound or suspended, ask for this at the counter, and be sure to be specific!

The next title is "Born and bred". It has the subtitle "eating, for two", and there's a company by an 1800 hand-drawn diagram of the anatomy of the uterus. It's description reads:

Knocked Up. Up the duff. In the family way. This option is all about pregnancy, breeding and mating, be that omegaverse, mpreg, or just some good old biologically-impossible kink. Spanning a broad spectrum from keep-coming-in-his-stomach-wound wishful thinking to baby-bumped Renfield bouncing on it and moaning, this option has something for everyone Oscar the counter for our full menu of pregnancy and pregnancy-adjacent kink.

The final category is "NOT IN STOCK (hard NOs), and is headed by a picture of empty supermarket shelves. Below this, it lists "underage, furry, scat, omo, necro" and states that we have the right to refuse service at any point before payment.

[thecreaturecodex]

Adaro

"Goblin Shark ~ Day 10" © Candice Sciortino, accessed at deviantArt here

[This is another "If I Ran the Zoo" monster--the adaro appears in Pathfinder 1e's Bestiary 3. But it's kind of dull. There's nothing wrong with making a mershark, but the adaro has weird magical powers in the lore of the Solomon Islands that should get some due. This is an unusual folkloric monster in that I read about them first in a D&D book, namely the 3.0 3pp Penumbra Fantasy Bestiary. There, they were evil counterparts to tritons, which informed my take, but this isn't a straight up conversion.

Also, this art isn't explicitly an adaro, but I hear "horned shark", I think goblin shark]

Adaro CR 3 NE Medium outsider (native) This creature has a humanoid torso, but the tail and dorsal fins of a shark. Its hands are webbed with long, spindly fingers, and a long horn grows from its face above snaggletooth jaws. It carries a spear in its hands.

In the belief systems of some peoples, the soul isn’t a single entity, but instead is a composite entity. The higher and more civilized soul is what passes into the afterlife for judgement, but the lower animal soul remains behind and incarnates into a new form. The adaro is an example of these incarnations—the distillation of id and impulse, transformed into a shark-like aquatic form. Adaros are selfish and violent, and enjoy bloodshed and suffering for their own sake. One of the few arts they practice other than cruelty is music. Adaros are excellent singers, and may even teach these songs to mortals in order for them to spread farther. Otherwise, they are dangerous creatures best avoided or appeased rather than confronted.

Adaros travel in schools, working together to sink ships, steal catches and otherwise torment those that ply the waters. They can and do fight with their teeth and horns, but prefer to soften up enemies from a distance by magically conjured, venomous flying fish. After a barrage of these poisoned darts, the adaros leap to the fight, charging through the air and creating a rainbow in their wake. In waters where adaros are common, rainbows are seen as an ominous, not hopeful, sign.

Adaros are carnivorous and have long lifespans. They do age and die despite their relationship to soulstuff, and the quintessence remaining in them dissipates directly into the Astral Plane instead of going to an afterlife.

Adaro   CR 3 XP 800 NE Medium outsider (native, water) Init +3; Senses darkvision 60 ft., Perception +7 Defense AC 15, touch 13, flat-footed 12 (+3 Dex, +2 natural) hp 30 (4d10+8) Fort +6, Ref +4, Will +4 DR 5/magic Offense Speed 5 ft., swim 50 ft. Melee masterwork spear +6 (1d8+1/x3), bite +3 (1d6), gore +3 (1d4) or bite +5 (1d6+1), gore +5 (1d4+1) Ranged flying fish dart +7 (1d6+1 plus poison) Special Attack rainbow leap Statistics Str 12, Dex 16, Con 15, Int 13, Wis 11, Cha 14 Base Atk +4; CMB +5; CMD 18 (cannot be tripped) Feats Blind-fight, Multiattack (B), Point Blank Shot Skills Acrobatics +10,Knowledge (nature) +8, Perception +11 (+15 hearing), Perform (sing) +9, Stealth +10, Survival +7, Swim +16; Racial Modifiers +4 Perception (+8 to hearing) Languages Aquan, Common Ecology Environment warm aquatic and coastal Organization solitary, pair, school (3-6) or frenzy (7-18) Treasure standard (masterwork spear, other treasure) Special Abilities Flying Fish Dart (Su) As a standard action, an adaro can create and throw a magical flying fish. This fish is treated as a thrown weapon with a range increment of 60 feet, and ignores all miss chances as if it was a seeking weapon. If it strikes a target, the creature takes 1d6 piercing damage and is exposed to the following poison: flying fish toxin—injury; Fort DC 14; duration 1/round for 4 rounds; effect 1d3 Con damage; cure 1 save. Regardless of whether it hits or misses, the flying fish turns into a mundane animal after being thrown once. The save DC is Charisma based. Rainbow Leap (Su) As a full round action three times per day, an adaro can move up to 10 times its swim speed by leaping through the air. It must begin its movement in a body of water. An adaro can use this ability in conjunction with a charge attack. When it uses this ability, a rainbow is created that passes through the spaces the adaro moved through. This rainbow lasts for one minute, and any character that moves through any of these spaces must succeed a DC 14 Fortitude save or be dazzled as long as they remain in the rainbow, and for 1 round thereafter. The save DC is Charisma based.  

[halimpark7]

If there was nothing wrong with my life. &

I got everything Ive ever wanted...

I still wouldn't want to leave my bed,

put on clothes,

be a productive member of society.

No matter what I did, it will still be a struggle.

'Ok, it's going to be a fun day (visualization of the one thing that makes the day worth it)

*internal energetic heave, as I swing my legs and tighten my abdomen, as I throw my body in a sitting position*

'get your fat ass up....'

Does that make me a brat? Maybe.

If I don't wake in the stillness of your arms, your gentle quiet 'I'm still sleeping' breathing, your beard scratching some part of my body, your skin comfortably or even saran wrapped uncomfortablely to mine.

The smell of you in the mornings. Your essence. The smell of you being comfortable on your pillows. The way you sleep.

Without you.

I don't want to function. I don't want to "get up". Bc I didn't really get to rest. You weren't next to me, I wasn't next to you.

That's probably bratty. But it's how I feel.

I've always been this way.

Since grade school.

A book cuddled next to me, a queen size bed bought on discount, blood stains on my favorite thick comforter. One that's slightly cool to the touch. Never wanting to wake up and leave the warm spot my body heat generated.

And now.

Gravity, consciousness, alertness. Human doing. Money. Anxiety.

Without you, deadly sin Sloth was my only comfort. No one's beating me anymore. Physically forcing my adrenaline to rise, blood to pump. So I don't want to get up. I don't feel like it.

I don't want life without you. I don't want to wake up without you. Even when I'm struggling in a van next to a perfectly fine person, the struggle is the resistance I need to not be a lazy piece of shit. I have excuses. I can't be a productive member of society, I live in a van, my roommate needs a fully functioning person. I need to handle my problems without avoidance, today/now! so that my life moves.

Vanlife / My life is hard/ my depression is heavy.

~ blah blah blah. ~

But even if my life was perfect .

If there was nothing wrong with my life. & I got everything Ive ever wanted...

I still wouldn't want to leave my bed,

put on my clothes,

be a productive member of society....

And it's all your fault.

You are what I've been missing.

Where I've been visiting during the hours of 4-6am, when I go to sleep around 3:30a or even 7p.

You are my rest, my battery, my dopamine. My missing piece/ (peace).

And this is why I love you. You exist. You're everything. All the good parts of everybody whose abused me. All the sweet guy parts I initially fell in love with in every relationship. But I don't want to abuse you. Just annoy you to love me more. Be the only girl you fantasize about. Tell me that you drool with the idea of me. Smelling me, tasting me. Living life beside me.

I'm no good without you. I'm half a machine.

Just another zombie, minutes away from consuming, chewing, using, and abusing anybody for my emotional needs of the moment.

I'm a monster without you. Id rather be a nothing, than a something destined for hell. This way I atleast struggled through purgatory. Felt the feelings. Lived the full range of emotions. Waited for inspiration. Begged for you to love me. Paid back in suffering how much I've stolen self worth, confidence, kindness of those poor fools who loved fucking me.

I never understood my dad. After the years of using me, touching my body, squeezing my nipples, cupping my ass, fighting with me physically and verbally. He told me he never loved me....

And I think after Holly I understand. He was getting his emotional needs met.

Feeling someone else through me.

Jealous that I loved God more and that God loved me. He copied all the things I did in my performances. Years after I did it.

So I was Holly then, I am my father now....

You always cannibalize the person you're stealing from. And you never know it in the moment. The dangers of being a "leader". Cannibals.

Hillary should have been an actor. Her dramatic need for vengeance and theatrics would have been better received. . .

People would be less crazy if they weren't so scared of being 100% honest and vulnerable. It's way easier than having Holly scream at you where you suck, years before you can understand it.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Trimax Thoughts Vol. 6 Pt. 1

Ahhhh I have fallen behind... D,:

Anyways. My usual stream of consciousness stuff for my first read! Here we go! I'm sure things can only get better from here.

[All images in this post are from Trigun Maximum Volume 6.]

Meryl... :( She's not even in the bed, she's just sitting in a chair, as if she knows she won't be able to sleep well... or more likely that she can't fall asleep and she's been awake so long she dozed off in the chair... my poor girl somebody at her job give her compensation or like. Extended vacation days or something. Please. (Also how long do you think Meryl had to reassure Milly that she was fine before Milly lay down and got some sleep? Idk seems like something she'd do; try to stay up with Meryl.)

The entire conversation between Wolfwood and Meryl is really interesting to me. Firstly, Wolfwood trying to dig for why Meryl hasn't asked any of the obvious questions (because it doesn't seem like Meryl has told anyone what she saw) and just coming across as incredibly annoying for no reason ahdjfhjdbfv. But what's intriguing is even with the lack of real communication here, I feel this is a conversation of equals, despite Wolfwood's objective being to get Meryl to leave. Meryl's fear has little to do with Vash's transformation itself, but rather the implications of what he is and the very visceral and traumatic experiences that she is now privy to through the perspective of the person who suffered them. Thing is, even with Wolfwood lacking this info, he still notes something about Meryl's character without saying it outright that is 100% spot on - Meryl won't leave for herself. But she might leave for Milly. She has a strong sense of responsibility to her, and Wolfwood pulls on that, likely because it's something of a commonality they share. (However, I think Wolfwood does not fully see that Vash is included, as well as Milly, in Meryl's list of people she would do pretty much anything for... but that might involve Wolfwood having to like. Actually admit that Vash occupies a similar position for him in a personal and not just occupational way...)

[ID: Vash's hand holds Marlon's gun loosely. His index finger has released its hold on the trigger and is dripping blood. End ID.]

...oh yeah. He's doing well.

Vash: *on the tail end of a severely traumatic flashback and incident*

Also Vash:

[ID: Three images of Vash making a variety of silly faces. End ID.]

(Also I adore his snark so much. Vash's inner monologue has got to be so much snarkier than anything he says out loud. That whole "I won't say anything because I am polite but know that I am thinking very loudly about how much of a dick you are".)

[ID: A panel of Brandon Marlon in a cartoony style, mockingly throwing his hands in the air and saying "Ohhh, look at me! I fired a gun! Woow!" then switching to scowling and waving dismissively, saying "You can die and be reborn a thousand times and I still won't make a gun for a moron like you!" End ID.]

Oh my god. Someone who actually understands the responsibility that comes with distributing weapons. Brandon Marlon you are my new favourite minor character. Also you're so funny about it.

Meryl... she is so worried about him... :(

"His determination is stronger than the regret he carries." Augh...

Wolfwood having nightmares... Meryl having nightmares... it would surprise me if Vash and Milly weren't also having nightmares... there is only one solution. Group cuddle session under nice big blanket.

[ID: Vash sits, perched on the edge of a roof with a friendly smile. Behind him, the full moon with the crater is in full view against the darkness of the night sky. End ID.]

Oh. Hm. This is a choice. Very much echoes what Wolfwood was saying to Meryl earlier, that they both know "what kind of guy he is" (friendly, compassionate, etc.), but that he's also very dangerous... a "time-bomb"... :(

AUGH

Oh man. More of the "I know" "I know you know" FUCK. No way Vash didn't realize Wolfwood was pointing his gun at him.

God. Nothing Wolfwood does matters. It looks like he killed someone to save the kids, but they're not safe and it just guaranteed he couldn't go back to see them. He tried to kill Knives but was too freaked to follow through and ended up trapped obeying him. Knives is going to destroy the orphanage anyways no matter what he does, so all he's doing is stalling for time. Caring about Vash doesn't change anything - he's still doing exactly what he's been told to do. He's stuck. He's trapped. Somebody help him out please.

Vash has now canonically been referred to as "pretty boy". I mean we all knew but it's still funny.

[ID: Vash, aiming his gun, has his back turned to Wolfwood, who is crouched low and shielding him with the Punisher. The remnants of a wooden table are shattered across the scene. End ID.]

OHHHH this fight scene is GOOD. Back to back fighting! They automatically switched who they were facing off against AHHH

They both, without even a word, showed their backs and trusted the other to defend them. I. Ok. Ok. I'm cool.

Never mind apparently Milly is sleeping like a log shgjdfhbvjdfhb

The Legato and Elendira interaction is so funny. Knives' duo of worsties who hate each other and want to kill each other but settle for petty insults and whipping beverages in the other's face.

DOUBLE FANG??? OHHH???

Why is this boy Bane. He has Bane powers. What.

...Legato. Wtf happened to your tongue. Like I'd heard people talk about the tongue but I thought it's probably not that bad. Never mind. Eugh.

[ID: A set of panels showing street market vendors and their owners, selling their goods. Snippets of dialogue are heard: "Right here! Fresh meat! Just in today! Chicken! Beef! Pork! You want it, we've got it!" "It's always a concern. That's why I suggest this powder..." "We use ingredients as close to the original as possible." "Well? Doesn't that smell good? That's the very freshest tea." "It's really fantastic, madam." "My, that is good. You don't skimp on the sugar." "It's flammable, so be careful. Nah, just handle it the same way you would gasoline." Amid the conversation, a close-up of Knives' face reveals his eye, narrowed, bitter and distant. End ID.]

Ok. This set of panels gets me. There's so much ambiguity here. Knives is listening to the people enjoy the fruits of the labours of his sisters that humanity have been exploiting. The thing is... these things, a lot of them aren't exactly necessities. They're specifically engineering things to be close to what they had, which, while understandable (humans need enjoyment to survive. like that's real), it also begs the question of whether this kind of differentiation increases demand on the Plants beyond what is necessary for humans to take. Or maybe it doesn't. Maybe the differentiation is no more effort on the part of the Plants than the raw amount needed to live comfortably. It's hard to say, since we're seeing this through the filter of Knives' view, for whom any amount the humans take from Plants is too much. Anyways. It's interesting. ...I also think he looks painfully young in this panel, but maybe that's just me.

[ID: Knives stands before a headstone engraved with his name. He is just an eerily grinning silhouette, with his weapons curled and hooked over his head like a set of bladed wings. End ID.]

He is proud of his artwork. (Sorry lol)

"This Plant is going to be retired." <- uh. yikes. Way to avoid saying she's going to die.

"Deliberately go out of control" so wait. I'm confused. The Plant is going to go out of control at the end of her life cycle and they're harvesting what was going to happen anyways, or they deliberately push her to that point so that she goes out of control? What's happening here.

Hm. An angel arm type thing formed from what looks like her stomach... or maybe womb? I don't know but that's... hm. It's like it's their core or something. Like a reactor core. If that's the case then it being forced out of Vash like that is even more disturbing.

Her hair turned black. No. No hold on. Oh no.

[ID: A close up of Knives' face. His eyes have gone blank and lines from his Plant abilities are etched on his cheeks. End ID.]

Ohhh... remember how the blank eyes seem to show severe distress...? :(

Noooo oh my god. It's so much worse. Knives has been inadvertently killing Vash every time he activates his powers. AUGH

Local man just wanted to enjoy his noodles. Unfortunately his buddy is a trouble magnet and he keeps getting interrupted. Will he ever have the chance to finish his noodles in peace? hdjvbhdfvhjb

So Vash has been sneaking off to day drink apparently. Holy crap that panel is disturbing. Also it hurts me. My poor boy... :(

"Needle-noggin-isms" I'm screaming

Oh god he's so off in this fight. He's... he's actually drunk, isn't he...?

!!! Holy shit Vash's Plant abilities saved him automatically.

Oh fuck off with these people.

AUGH MERYLLLLL

I am in so much pain. Haha. Ha.

Ok ok but - does anyone other than Meryl know that she saw everything? Because Vash was totally out of it in that scene - it's not like he meant to transmit those flashbacks. I don't think anyone knows the full extent of what Meryl saw. So, when she has a panic attack and flinches away from him... he completely misunderstands. He thinks it's because she sees him as a monster; that she's scared of him. But that's not true! Meryl has done nothing but be concerned for him! And yes, it was terrifying, and yes, she's scared, but she cares about him! As a person! But I think Vash perceived this as a rejection. And all he can do is apologize. (Augh and the parallel to Hoppered and the woman with the blinded eyes who panicked when being touched...) STOP THIS NOW THIS HURTS

The little kid defending Vash... not old enough yet for fear to overtake reason... :')

I feel like Elendira is just here to see how things go down. She's here for a good time, not a long time.

TESLA MENTION.

Rem is so silly. <3

Baby Knives wants so badly to be liked and accepted... augh.

The contrast between "Do you think we can become friends with them?" and "Yeah... it might take a lot of effort though." Ooh. Many thoughts.

[awlimagines]

A Polaroid Pickup - Rock

You enjoyed the fresh air as a kid. Your father’s farm was full of it if you could look past the natural stench of livestock. Things you didn’t fully understand occurred when you were small, and your mom whisked you away to the city. Now, you were far more used to the harsh yells, massive crowds, and vendors trying to make a sale. You stifled a yawn as you passed your ID card over the sensor to allow you entry to the office building. 

It stretched into the sky, reaching for the heavens while swallowing hundreds in neat, bright offices. Those who sat at the top of their companies’ pyramids enjoyed sweeping city views and sunlight. The lowly peons like you got erected cubicles in the building’s belly. The company you worked for was nice enough to allow you to pin pictures into the fabric walls. You had only a few of your mother, an old pet, and an even older boyfriend. You needed to throw away that picture. You didn’t even know the boy pictured alongside you anymore. 

You throw your bag under your desk to sink into your seat and swivel to face a black screen and phone. That was when the deck of cards caught your eye. Those weren’t yours. As your manager swept past, you scrambled, sliding the cards haphazardly from your desk to hide them. This was your first job. You wouldn’t risk losing it or having a mark against you for some cards. The cards left all thoughts as the phone began to ring. 

It wasn’t until lunch that you remembered the cards. You reached into your bag to pay for the bland cafeteria lunch when your hand brushed the stiff cards instead. Fumbling past them for money, you juggled the tray to pay and hurried to a seat at the packed tables.  You squeezed into an empty chair and rapidly shoveled your food down. As people around you left, you pulled the cards from your bag. They looked pretty new. The bent corners were probably from being shoved out of sight rather than from any use. You flipped through the cards, enjoying the stylized kings and queens. 

A small Polaroid picture of you replaced the Queen of Hearts. Your blood ran cold at the sight. You were wearing the same clothes you had on now, and you sat in the same cafeteria. Bile rose in your throat as you fought back panic when a man slid into the seat across from you. His dark brown roots bled through his blonde. His blonde hair, tinged with orange, screamed the young man wasn’t experienced with dyes. 

“You're a queen. Let my face be your throne,” he remarked, winking a finger-gun at you. You held up the cards and picture, asking the young man if this was from him. He eagerly confirmed it was his idea and asked if you were impressed. You almost felt bad for how quickly the HR department removed him after you reported the harassment. The young man couldn’t have been over twenty and probably just made a horrible decision. 

Years later, the company suffered and downsized. You were cut from the job and traveled to Forget-Me-Not Valley. The farm was about all you had left, and you had to make it work. Takakura introduced you to the inn owners who had mentioned their son Rock when a clattering noise on the balcony above caught your attention. You glanced up in time to see the doors snapping shut. 

“If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple,” Rock smirked, shooting you a wink and finger gun as you gathered the fall apples. 

“Did you ever work in the city?” 

A look of horror swept across Rock’s face as he mumbled about how he didn’t think you had recognized him. Any hint of suave he had disappeared as Rock struggled to explain his past behavior. 

“I didn’t. Not until the terrible pick-up line,” you chuckled. “It’s water under the bridge, but I have to know. How did you get a picture of what I wore that day and in the cafeteria?” 

“Pfft, that’s easy. You wear the same clothes like clockwork even now,” Rock brushed off, gesturing to your clothes. The blonde ran from your farm laughing as you threw apples after him, your face red.

[myonlysecretly]

a little ramble (personal)

I realized I'm grieving my life. It's never the way i wanted it to be, it's constant loss of parts of myself. someway along this way i feel like my magic left me, mostly, too

i stopped believing things can get better, then i hoped, then i lost my hope again.

it doesn't feel right to suffer so much, but i know i have to. i am working with shadows and Death constantly and i know suffering is needed.

i just wonder if there's more people like this. knowing they will suffer and accepting it? thinking it's something that might be necessary to them after a while? like you know you want to live but you also know the way you'll live will be full of pain? and yet you don't want it to end, gaining hope just to lose it?

the words of "hey i used to feel like that too. believe me it get better!" seem such a lie to me. you dont know if it ever gets better, do you? some people are just impossible to get they happy beginning. some of us (like me) are stuck with people that won't let them go no matter what. id doesn't get better until there's miracle. and some people might never see it [the said miracle], some might experience it at the end of their life when they are old and hopeless.

I'm just tired. i wish i wasn't loser of what my dreams are [escape from abuse forever, finding found family on physical plane], but i also know it's something that lets me learn perspective of unusual kind.

don't worry i don't plan to d*e. i just had to get it out of my chest, because i know there might be people here who need to read this: you're needed, so am i, but sometimes the person that saves us is ourselves, and that's why i am suffering now. bc im here to learn and i strongly believe that lesson won't be acknowledged until my next lives.

it's sad to me yes. i might never be happy here but once i go past this life, who knows? maybe it will be useful?? maybe it will make me more kind? prevent other people from suffering bc of how I would treat them [in next life if i hadn't been sad here]?

sorry it's too personal but like i wrote i had to get it on "paper" to you. i need to talk to someone about it, and i sincerely hope i help at least one person like me with this kind of thinking, or if i made you feel even more sad i'm sorry i tend to see world though its darkness rather than light

have a better day as good as you can <3 appreciate things that make it bearable. and most of all: don't loose yourself too much. love all parts of you that make you happy, don't hate on those who don't. integrate them and that's where real understanding of you will come <3

[arocoded]

[PT: "Plz to stop Don't leave me without reading. (Medical face mask emoji)

"'In the war, I thought I was strong, that I would overcome any challenge. But when I was infected with Covid-19, I felt like the world stopped around me. Every day was a nightmare, the fear of suffocation, constant headaches, high fever, body pain, isolation, and the feelings of loneliness were ravishing me.' On the inside I was having moments where I didn't know if I would ever be able to breathe normally again. But thanks to the support of my loved ones and medical care, I will overcome the disease. Illness has taught me one thing; Strength does not lie in endurance alone, but rather in asking for help and cooperating with those around you.

"Today, I stand before you to ask for your help, for myself, but also for those who suffer as I do. There are those that do not find enough support or care, and there are those who struggle alone in these difficult circumstances. Your small donation can make a big difference in someone else's life, just as the support you received did mine. I know the world is full of challenges, but I believe that one heart can make a difference. Thank you for your help and support.'

"Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #100 )" End PT.

ID: A picture of Aya, a Palestinian Hijabi, lying down on a medical bed. Her face is covered with the medical face mask emoji. End ID.]

Plz to stop Don't leave me without reading.😷

“In the war, I thought I was strong, that I would overcome any challenge. But when I was infected with Covid-19, I felt like the world stopped around me. Every day was a nightmare, the fear of suffocation, constant headaches, high fever, body pain, isolation, and the feeling of loneliness were ravishing me.” On the inside I was having moments where I didn't know if I would ever be able to breathe normally again. But thanks to the support of my loved ones and medical care, I will overcome the disease. Illness has taught me one thing; Strength does not lie in endurance alone, but rather in asking for help and cooperating with those around you.

Today, I stand before you to ask for your help, for myself, but also for those who suffer as I do. There are those who do not find enough support or care, and there are those who struggle alone in these difficult circumstances. Your small donation can make a big difference in someone else's life, just as the support you received did mine. I know the world is full of challenges, but I believe that one heart can make a difference. Thank you for your help and support.”

Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #100 )

@chuunisoldier @fairuzfakhira @khin @vakarian-shepard @palipunk @palestinecharitycommissionsassoc @vakarian-shepard @northgazaupdates2 @ibtisams @effen-draws @neptunerings @northgazaupdates2 @gaza-evacuation-funds unds @rhubarbspring @flower-tea-fairies @postanagramgenerator @blackgoliath @sharingresourcesforpalestine @6030 @malcriada @jeziorofangirlingu @retvolution @raydiantgarden @emathyst9 @mothblossoms @pile-of-anxiety @brutaliakhoa @magnus-rhymes-with-swagness @lesbiandardevil @devilofthepit @lizlives @transmutationisms @kit-today @hametsukaishi @vetted-gaza-funds @heritageposts @timetravellingkitty @a-shade-of-blue @lovewontfindherwayhome @ohwarnette @nightowlssleep @pretendingtobeaperson @laurapalmerss @im-living-under-your-basement @komsomolka @dvanaestmrva @lonniemachin @heliopixels @zigcarnivorous @turtletoria @opencommunion @wellwaterhysteria @queerstudiesnatural @grapejuicedragoon @victoriawhimsey

[smilepilled]

i wonder what's up with me. i'm all smiles and cheers near people, but in the presence of my very self, i feel nothingness. and it bothers me so very much, it feels so wrong, out of place, innapropriate. should i not be full with joy, glee, hope? i've come so far, why do i feel as if i'm back in day zero? why do i frown so? what is wrong with me this time?

there's no answer, there's no question either. no one can come in, no one can come out. i've built such a tall, impenetrable fort around myself — and not fully does it fill me with regret. 'tis necessary, but why's it also another woe? i can never find balance, no, not at all. no amounts of nuance can save me from setting foot in two extremes at once.

why's that? why can't i find a blurred, grey-ridden place of peace for myself? all others have some sort of thing like that; why must i step into the extremes? am i supposed to be that gradient, the grey that unites the black and white? and why me? no, i wouldn't wish this on anyone else, so its futile to ask why 'tis happens to be another role i play. id rather it be me than any other, it is too overbearing to lend into any peer, so i must bear it without a word.

but also, i dont want to. i dont want to let this externally internal voice dictate what i must or mustn't be or do. yet this is me all the same, and i find myself stuck in a paradox. time loop, time anomaly, another samsara-adjacent cycle. ouroboros is almost done eating itself, i fear without a external sign, but that's not possible either, not at all. this conflict, this internal indecision? beyond me. all i know is how to use a nice description here and there, fucking up the words and labels, and finding the oh-so-praised pattern in my time and space.

i've walked on a circle. is this my life? is my life just climbing and climbing, to find no top to this mountain? i have no answers, i barely have the strenght to question; and that's the essence of my very being, so what comes next? if i manage to make sense of all this unwellness, suffering, all this loathing, then what comes after? death is certain to reject me once again, but i would not dare risk losing the few things i still have, or becoming even more cursed, for a pseudo-sense of freedom. what freedom is it to be reborn again? none at all, so i must find out what's happening in this life.

i just hope it won't make me bitter

[roffmychest]

icannot survive working. ive thought of every possible job to try, every way to try alleviate things or get around having to work full-time to survive, and there r no options. i cant work full time without becoming extremely exhausted n miserable, zero energy for anything outside of work, constantly stressed n dreading the next workday. what life is that? what am i even fucking working for, to stay alive just to keep working? if i cant even do my hobbies or socialise or even fucking rest, its even worse than being dead bc at least dead i wouldnt be in constant agony too.

im giving the world one more chance to prove i dont need to die, but if the next job i get makes me just as miserable, im fucking doing it. i dont want to die, theres so many things i want to do, but i wont be able to do them anyway and i dont want to suffer torture for the rest of my life. im trying to enjoy myself now, ive only just gotten my energy back after quitting my last job a year and a fuckin half ago. soon itll all b gone again. i feel sick at the thought of working. i have a few months of life left, maybe a year or two at most. this world is pure pure evil, if i could survive off even 5hrs a day instead of 8-9 i might be able to live. but i cant. the choice is work full time or die and id rather choose death

ill just feel bad breaking the news to my friends, but they should understand. i feel bad for leaving my cat behind. and i know i wont have time to finish some projects before i have to work again. this isnt fair. my life is being stolen from me bc i have less energy than other ppl. but i cant suffer again that exhaustion so intense that every thought and movement feels like being stabbed

.

[h-hae]

pov: it's our first apartment, a quaint 20 minute drive from home to work for the both of you. at the front, you'll see a typical door wreath which is always swapped out to be in tune for the season from a bright flower display for spring to a tacky santa claus with his reindeer for christmas. don't forget the door mat, which you bought at a discount store. no need to be fancy, it'll be the bearer of whatever is lingering on the bottom of your shoe.

walk inside to an open floor space. right in front of you, a couch and loveseat lovingly given to you by your parents with a coffee table he insisted on buying. you're not a fan, but the table rises up so you two can eat while enjoying whatever show or streamer is popping on the algorithm at the time. next to the couch, a constellation map of the night you two got together with polaroids squeezed into the corners to show who the two lovebirds are in this nest of an apartment. to the corner, a kingdom hearts memorabilia shelf. a collection you two have been working on, even though the only thing you contributed was a small Chirithy plush. walk on over to the right and there is the dining room set he was so happy to buy and assemble, the wood matching the dining room table. again, dark wood isn't your vibe but he bought it so who cares. turn to the left and there's your kitchen. awaiting you are memories from learning how to use a dishwasher for the first time to hearing him tell you he's slowly falling out of love with you.

there's a hallway connecting all the living spaces together. let's go the right, there's the master bedroom. many intimate moments are shared here, secrets shared, tears shed while under and in front of him. after an intense argument, this will be the last space where you two will share your last meaningful kiss. he was off to work, you pretended to be asleep, and he kissed your head like he always did. however, it lasted longer and felt more.. emotional. it felt like it was a final goodbye of the him that loved you to be replaced by one who resented you. once he left, you burst into tears. in this room marked the beginning of the end.

to your left we have the bathroom and closet! so modern and clean, complete with the signature air wick refresher you two love, his and her bath towels, candles and bath bombs you two will use up countlessly on your shared bath days. also here, is where you saw your pregnancy test come back positive. running down the hall, you collapsed in front of him sobbing and stating you wanted an abortion. neither of you were ready. it was over a year since you felt a meaningful kiss from him, over a year since you two had a nice bath bomb and candlelit bath, over a year since you two cooked together. what kind of a life would this child have in an apartment now just a shell of what it used to be?

down the hallway, did i forget to mention, is a guest bedroom? you two will use it moreso as a storage space but here is where all the realizations come to light. him suffering through his quarter life crisis, you realizing this isn't the relationship you deserved, countless phone calls to respective friends crying and moaning about what used to be. in this room also, are the countless gifts and crafts you two made for each other stored away rather than be on full display. eventually too, you'll find the constellation map and photos here hidden away once you leave when the break commenced. he won't admit it to you, but he brought someone here. did he feel any guilt? any remorse?

there's also a second bathroom by the way, this is his bathroom to get ready for work as not to disturb you. his khaks, ID, whatever military intel and clearance he needed was here for quick access. a room only he used, a room whose layout changed like he did but it only held one constant, your sticky notes. "i love you! good luck on your exam!" "you're doing great!" "you'll be the best SSgt ever!" it used to be in the mirror for full display. when you come back to help pack, it's no longer there. but once you open that medicine cabinet, there it was, neatly aligned. in that cabinet was all he used daily so he saw those notes, those drawings everyday. it gives you a sliver of hope, optimism, but when you step outside to take a breather you see the community pool. he promised he'd teach you how to swim but he never did. he promised many things but either never gave them to you or fell extremely short.

welcome to your first apartment though and congratulations! remember to use the pool, you two will never get the chance to despite the promises of teaching you how to swim.

[rot8erconex]

[ID: photo of tags that read "tbh i read this and still didn't get half it since i still have no good idea what 'vtubing' actually is/looks like/how it functions. but even w/o that…GODDAMN. current events. all who live to see such times. the contracts that knit together civilization (for better or worse). every now and then a post comes along like a gargantuan eldritch shadow under the ice." /end ID]

For those in this particular situation, VTubing is a bizarre intersection between gaming live streamers and anime-infused idol culture. I have more - including a repeat of the previous sentence but with some interjections - beneath the "Keep reading". Also, a little update from the past three days' of events.

For those in this particular situation, VTubing (short for Virtual YouTubing, though it's also done on Twitch so the name is partially a misnomer) is a bizarre intersection between gaming live streamers (Nijisanji uses the word "Livers" and I specifically avoided using the term because I know that screen readers would parse it as the plural of a human organ rather than the intended pronunciation of "lie-vurz") and anime-infused idol culture. People who play video games, or cook, or just read chat on live streaming on Twitch or YouTube, but instead of having a face cam, they will have a virtual avatar - usually heavily anime inspired, though I have seen straight up 3D models of the streamer's fursona - which mimics the facial expressions made by the actual person behind the gameplay.

This affords a level of anonymity while still allowing viewers to see the streamer's genuine reactions to things. Additional benefits, obviously, exist for people who are uncomfortable with their own body - such as trans people being able to style their model the way they wish they were, but also, I know of one YouTuber who does VTubing when she streams because she suffers from chronic pain and doesn't want to have to deal with looking nice when she hangs out with her fans. Her model is a highly-stylized version of her actual appearance, but with horse ears attached because she's a horse enjoyer.

There are a lot of "indie" VTubers, but there are also two major companies (and a few smaller ones) who run entire outfits of multiple VTubers. Hololive, run by Cover, and Nijisanji, run by AnyColor. Both companies will perform auditions every so often, and then a few months later, will release a batch of three-to-five VTubers which will be referred to as a "generation" - numbered in sequential order but also labeled with the language that this generation is targeted at. Selen Tatsuki was, IIRC, part of Nijisanji EN gen 2.

The VTubers in a generation largely work independently from one another, but can do collab streams - even with other generations, languages, or (though this requires more effort) other companies' streamers.

Each VTuber - at least all of them in the corporate sphere and many indies - has lore behind their character. With Hololive EN gen 1 - what I'm most exposed to - we have:

Gwar Gura, a shark girl from a subaquatic Atlantis who came to the surface because she liked human video games.

(I'm not gonna try spelling her full name, so let's just call her Ina) who is a normal girl that has become the priestess for an eldritch horror.

Calliope Mori, the grim reaper come to the realm of the living because she wants to write music. Personality-wise I think she might be my favorite, but she rarely plays games I want to watch.

Kiara, a phoenix who teaches her viewers and co-commentators German

and Amelia, a time-traveling detective (descended from John Watson) who is in the current era to make sure that she does come into existence.

This lore is usually not used to put on an act, but rather to help obfuscate the streamer's real-life details. Gura, for example, can tell stories about her childhood and claim that they happened in Atlantis. Calli can refer to her real-life home as "the Underworld". Etc.

As for the update? Nijisanji has been quiet in the past few days, and Doki has not said anything else past what she said would be her final public statement. The day after my post, a few fans tried to put together a document poking holes in Doki's story but their own document misrepresents the facts of the case (such as the fact that it was Niji, not Doki, who first made the bullying allegations public knowledge) so many people are disregarding it. A Redditor who works in the PR team of a different company has put together a thread in which they detail what they think happened behind the scenes to cause this shitshow, and if they are right, then this is the last we will hear publicly on the matter from either party, because the shitshow was caused by a huge misunderstanding by Nijisanji's lawyers as to what Doki planned to do with the document that she had compiled, but now that misunderstanding has been cleared.

Apparently the Nijisanji situation is so bad, it's being used in REAL TIME as part of law school lessons and mock trials. Actual lawyers are pointing out that this violated several Canadian, Japanese, and possibly more countries's privacy and disclosure laws as well.

Like holy fuck. They have fucked up big time.

There's entire threads on Twitter and 4chan where lawyers are going over the specific violations Doki's lawyers could have a field day with, using Niji/Elira/Vox/Ike's "our side" video as very easy evidence to site some violation or another.

And for the third time, I'm not really into Niji and keep getting into talents right before or after they announce graduation or are reborn elsewhere, strange habit, but 1. I hate companies mistreating their employees, 2. I hate bullying, 3. This is now, honestly and truthfully, one of those literal garbage fires you can't ignore once you gaze at it. Every day so far the hole Niji keeps digging gets dug deeper and deeper-

We're watching a corporation collapse in real time and pay severely for the mistreatment of its employees. Honestly I'm invested and need to see how this shit ends. This has ramifications for the vtubing sphere and even sets precedents for how similar cases like this will be handled in the future.

Doki, I hope you can live a happy life, because I respect the shit out of you, and I hope you get a lot of money out of this that you can do wonderful things with. Thank you for surviving and being alive