#why am I like this we may never know
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Literally just hit me that my interest in Ketheric is just my lichfucker tendencies again
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
#i put on the coachella performance and i have to keep pausing it to scream#i am going through every spectrum of emotion whenever i watch a tlsp performance#i am' teeheeing' and kicking my feet. i am giddy. i am squealing with joy & laughter. i am horny. i am frustrated. why aren't they kissing#i am devastated i've never experience this live. i am destroyed because we may never have times like these again.#i am revelling in their joy and carefreeness but equally pained knowing this time wouldn't last.#why can't i enjoy it normally#why does it have to be this way#alex turner#miles kane#the last shadow puppets#tlsp#mine
135 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm sure it's been discussed at length already but I think it's easy to assume saiyans are strong so their genes are dominant but I (like to) think it's the opposite. It's interesting to think that the ecological nature of a saiyan is stealthy and invasive, and according to Jaco a saiyan invasion was going to be extra dangerous to earth because they look like earthlings (and a lot of other human-like races in the db universe) and one baby saiyan will easily go completely undetected until it starts the extermination process.
so it actually makes a lot of sense to me that a saiyan hybrid would take more physical traits from a local species, while maintaining the potential to house a saiyan's strength and inborn power over ki (which I think due to the story following a group of people who use it is a thing we often forgotten is a super rare and dangerous ability in that universe, and inborn/instinctive to a select few very powerful races). Could also be a fun way to explain why their tails can detach and grow back, since that may be the only real Tell.
because like yeah gohan and goten look like goku but they also look like chichi ykwim? trunks and bulla look like bulma. pan looks like videl. thoughts i chew on.
I also just find parasitism a real good meaty horror concept to put in my little 'this is why everyone's afraid of saiyans' headcanon file along with 'can see in the dark, biologically strategic energy consumption, can go long periods without food or rest' and of course the canonical 'surprise monkey werewolf kaiju'
#like that bug larva that evolved to trick ants into taking it home and then it just eats all the ants larvae. what if saiyans are like that.#except they can also breed with pretty much any other species to make more invasive species#chewing on it#gnashing my teeth on these bones#dbtag#silly hours#also just please imagine tarble's kid. little gure lookin dude. insane power. i'd die klasjdlkasj#Also I just generally love the idea that there’s really no such thing as a pure bred anything and current ‘pure’ saiyans are already#Very likely the result of evolution and hybridization with a species made extinct by its offspring#And we know that the planet King V established as his own was occupied so it’s also possible that a lot of the younger saiyans#In Vegeta’s generation who were killed when Frieza destroyed the planet might’ve been a largely hybridized generation we never saw#Especially if they too were a race with black hair and black eyes or were selectively bred with saiyans to maintain the façade of purity#The surges in power levels in Vegeta’s generation could also be an indicator of hybridization according to Nappa#Which could if you want to dig real far imply that both Vegeta and Broly are already hybrids#Which could even further explain why Vegeta’s kids share their mothers traits so glaringly — his saiyan genes might already be competing#Could also explain why Trunks and Bulla may or may not have been born without tails depending on your headcanons 🤔#Anyway I am still gnawing on this
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
i forgot to shade mira's cloak im a Sham
#isat#in stars and time#isat fanart#i dont.Think its spoilers??#PLEASE dont look at the backgroundhidesmyface#i literally have so many thoughts abt isat and the world and the characters good lawd#like! do.they have new years?? for the purpose of this.Yes.#why am i physically incapable of drawing A Good(tm) odile and how to i rectify this injustice#whats the kings name?? is it norman?? or perhaps maragreth????? we may never know
83 notes
·
View notes
Text
Gifted Drabble - NewAgeAU - Understanding
Hey @spotaus !! As promised :3 I got a little something for you!
Your drabble got me thinking and made me consider something. (also i am so sorry if i got the ages wrong. I really tried)
As always. Feel free to use whatever you want from it or just ignore what doesn't fit <3 I am just having fun and it is meant as a gift for you <3 (also to motivate you to keep writing more about it!)
*------------------------*
Nightmare gets off his horse as he stares at the castle.
Well. His castle now.
He is still not quite used to that. Refering to it with his castle instead of his mother's.
Even after almost 12 months. He still doesn't expect to see himself in the mirror. or maybe the problem is that he expects his old self. The young teen.
The weakling. The failure.
No focus.
He isn't that anymore. He now has the magic. He is the new powerful leader of his land. And he will make this work. Even if he still has no idea what he is doing.
No. He needs to get back and make sure no one tried to rebel against him. That no one tried to hurt Ccino while he was gone.
Nightmare gets off the horse and someone rushes over to take the horse. Nightmare stares at this person and figures out quickly it is the stablehand who has been taking care of the horses.
Nightmare looks over his shoulder and motions the new people to follow him. The set of brothers, the dog monster. and Killer.
Nightmare walks into the castle as he speaks "Some of the other servants will take you to your chambers to rest and clean up. Tomorrow the three of you will join some of my other staff to see what is needed and where you fit. Killer. You will-"
"My liege."
Nightmare blinks and looks over.
Ccino has appeared out of one of the servant secret passages and walks straight towards him. Nightmare can see, and feel, when Ccino takes in the new people and just who they are.
Ccino's face turns a bit harder and Nightmare can feel the annoyance and frustration in the air "My liege!" Ccino smiles brightly as he speaks "Have you eben succesfull in finding a possible knight?"
Killer chuckles behind him and mutters "someone is in trouble~"
Nightmare knows Killer is being sarcastic. But if only Killer knew how right he was.
Nightmare however could never be worried or afraid off Ccino. For him? Maybe. But never because of him. He gives a tiny nod. The only amount of respect their places and ranks allow them when others are near "Ccino." He waves into the direction of the new arrivals "These people will join my workers." He looks at the four new arrivals "This. Is Ccino. He is head of the house." a title that will never pass away from him. Not as long as Nightmare is in charge.
Ccino nods "Pleasure." he looks back at Nightmare "My liege. If you have the time. There is a matter we need to discuss."
Oh yeah. Nightmare is very much in trouble.
Nightmare's voice is still calm as he speaks "Very well. I will meet you in my study after i made sure they go to their chambers."
Ccino feels unamused but he nods with a bow before he leaves the hall with a quick turn.
Nightmare turns back to his new... servants? He never quite liked that word but it works. He turns to his servants and feel his tentacles slowly rise from their position on the ground. They slowly start to idle again as he makes sure the new people learn where their rooms are and where to get food.
He brings Killer to a room more seperate from the others. Beyond the guard positions. Just because Nightmare wants to give him a chance and the fact he doesn't fear him is refreshing doesn't make Nightmare forget how dangerous Killer is.
Fuck this was a mistake.
What if Killer hurts people here?
What if he hurts Ccino?
Killer looks around his room before lounging on the bed "So what is the deal with the other skeleton?" he grins and wiggles his eye brows "Little secret going on there?"
Ngihtmare needs a moment as he wonders what Killer could mean. Then it sinks in and Nightmare feels his tentacles all spasm as he shudders "No." the answer is final and harsh. Killer actually looks surprised.
Nightmare holds his sight and speaks slowly "I will only repeat this once and remember this well. I don't like having to repeat myself." he holds Killer's gaze "Ccino is head of the house. He will remain head of the house. Nothing anyone can say or do will change this." he holds his gaze before straightening himself again as he moves towards the door "Tomorrow we will start training."
Kilelr sputters "We?!"
Nightmare stops and shoots him a look "Obviously. How am I to keep track of your skills and promise if i don't oversee the training myself?" and he leaves the room.
He hurries back through th castle towards his study. Sinking in and out of shadows as his mind, body and soul all know where he wishes to go.
He stops by his study and enters it.
Ccino is already in there. Studying the old masks in the special glass casing.
Nightmare closes the door and Ccino turns to him with a glare "What were you thinking?"
Nightmare gets taken back to a year or two prior. When he was still small. When he had cut himself to practise for the ritual. He hadn't been able to sleep and had been nervous about the apple ritual already. He had wanted to practise his part. to perform a blood oath to promise loyalty until death to his twin.
Ccino had caught him with a knife out.
Nightmare blinks back into the here and now as Ccino looks at him expecting with his arms crossed.
Nightmare blinks as he looks to the side for a moment. How is it that even wiht him being taller than Ccino he still feels small compared to him? "They were innocent."
Ccino looks unimpressed as he crosses his arms "Now with less lies."
Nightmare blinks and shoot his traitorous tendrils a look. No doubt they did something to give his little slight lie away. Ccino jsut raises a brow as he taps his foot.
Nightmare speaks again "Most of them were innocent. I didnt want them to get hang for something they did not do."
Ccino hums as he waits "And the murderer?"
Nightmare looks at Ccino "how did you know?"
Ccino sighs but has a small smile on his face. an old fond feeling as ccino looks at him and the tiny part of nightmare that had been stressed relaxes. Ccino just keeps looking slightly amused "There is a reason i told you to get out more. you only hear so many things from people in the castle nightmare. You need to go out to hear everything from everyone. I know who he is because i go to the market sometimes."
nightmare gives aslow nod as he looks away. So Ccino knows that nightmare brought a serial killer home. great.
Ccino sighs and sits on the couch for visitors and Nightmare joins him instead of sitting in his own chair.
Ccino looks at him "Just... tell me what happened. Why did you decide this?"
Ngihtmare looks at his hands. again slightly shocked to see the goop. It never stains anything yet it feels like a reminder. It is dirty. it isn't the holy light the powers promised. it is weird and looks diseased which is fitting for him. someone who betrayed everyone. who betrayed his twin. He may have gone it to protect dream. But even dream doesn't see this.
Where does that leave him?
Ccino's hand rubs his cheek and Nightmare shakes himself out of it. Ccino looks so worried as he rubs his skull "Hey... it is okay... i am not mad at you. I am worried about you. I am sorry if it seemed like i was mad."
Nightmare knows ccino isn't mad at him. Not like that at least. Nightmare can feel that. But he likes that ccino still tells him as much too.
Nightmare sighs as he leans into the gentle hold and touch. Ccino had always been one of the few to hold him. As his and Dream's babysitter it had been his job. But Ccino had always truly cared about them both. The moment that Nightmare could feel emotions he had been shocked by that.
That Ccino held no hatred for him. Not even a little bit. He enver blamed either Nightmare or Dream for his situation.
Nightmare speaks softly "The... kngihts you picked out. they were amazing. They showed much promise and would have made fine warriors."
Ccino hums as he keeps rubbing his skull "But?"
Nightmare sighs "They hated me. Even if with time they would eventually grow loyal and accept their place. They would forever hold resentment towards me for making them come."
Ccino hums and nods "I get it. It were only options Ngihtmare. there will be more people who fit the job."
Nightmare feels another part of him relax. knowing that Ccino still understands him "Killer wasn't afraid."
Ccino hums questioning.
Nightmare speaks slowly "He wasn't afraid. Not of me. Not of his situation. He stood up when near me. He didn't cower and he didn't hide." he sighs as he leans into the hug. He shouldn't need these anymore. He is an adult now and not that awkward young teen anymore. Nightmare shouldn't still count this much on the other "He saw me and didn't hate me. He knew who i was and didn't hate me. It was... new."
Ccino still feels unsure but he holds him still "And that gave you hope? That maybe if soemone didn't start with that hatred they could maybe become truly loyal?"
Ngihtmare shrugs. He isn't quite sure. he didn't think that far ahead. He just didn't want to lose another person who didn't hate him.
Ccino sighs as he keeps rubbing his skull and the back of his neck "I won't say i trust him. Because i don't. And I worry about you. I am scared he will end up hurting you."
Nightmare rolls his eyes as he answers "I have yet to even lose a fight and i had almost no training." all because of his tentacles and his newfoudn power.
Ccino just holds him tighter "There are more ways someone can hurt you Nightmare."
Nightmare feels the fear of before return. THe idea that somoene would kill Ccino. "If... if him being here makes you feel unsafe i will return him to the guards."
Ccino laughs and shakes his skull "Ngihtmare I am fine. I am not scared for me."
Nightmare keeps holding him as he feels himself start to shake. fears he had been trying to ignore and push away return to the front of his mind "Waht if they realise just how important you are? What if they try to hurt you to hurt me? What if they kill you to hurt me? Ccino maybe it is better if you hide." hide... hide away... out of sight out of mind.
Ccino just rubs his neck "It is okay Nightmare. It is okay. They don't know. and even if they have an idea your reputation adn the past of this country will just make them think I am someone who will be used as sacrifice last. That i will be punished last or least."
Nightmare shakes as he keeps holding the one person who remained "What if they hurt you because of me?"
Ccino is so calm and sure "then it would be on them. Not you. You don't want others to hurt me. It wouldn't be your fualt Nightmare and I will never see it as your fault. It is okay."
Ngihtmare still feels unsure. He made it obviously clear to Killer that Ccino is improtant. Killer is smart and Nightmare has no idea what he could be planning.
Another thought enters his mind. Somethign he had found early on in his ruling.
A very very damning piece of paper. a slave contract.
Nightmare speaks softly "I am sorry you are stuck here..."
Ccino shrugs as he keeps rubbing his back "Not your fault."
Nightmare shakes as he holds him "I.... I can undo it... I can give you back your freedom..."
Ccino had been taken from his home. Sold to the castle with a very clear purpose. First to be a babysitter. and later... well... Drema had been planning to be all powerful and go from young teen to adult in just one ritual. There is a reason Ccino's age had been only 6 years older than them.
Ccino had been suposed to be Dream's from the very start.
Ccino hums "A nice thought. Not that i thought about that contract in a long time. It hardly matters nowadays. Not like I can just leave."
Nightmare feels his grip tighten and his tendrils curl around them. He doesn't want to let go of the one person who cared. The one person he could count on to help him. To give a single shit about Nightmare. But... but how long will it take before Ccino starts hating him? If Nightmare keeps him here?
Nightmare holds him close "I... I can get you a horse... I can give you gold..." He will just use some of the treasury. Ccino deserves it. "I can send some guards with you on your way. You could go wherever you want. Back to your family."
Ccino locks both his arms around his skull and hums softly. an old lullaby and Nightmare stops. The amount of memories almost hurt. It was always Ccino who held him on bad nights. Or when he was sad. Or when everyone pushed him aside again.
Ccino speaks sfotly "Nightmare. When I say i can't leave i don't mean i physically can't leave. It means i don't want to. I decided a while ago i want to stay here Nightmare."
Nightmare shakes but refuses to let go "What... what about your family?" Ccino's fmaily have to love him. Ccino is so amazing. There is no way he isn't missed dearly after he was stolen from them.
Ccino sighs sadly "Nightmare... They have been killed a long time ago. The day i was taken the guards made sure i knew there was nothing to return to. even if i ran." Ngihtmare feels himself freeze. why... why had he thought?
Ccino rubs his skull "It hurt a lot but i accepted a long time ago Nightmare. I accepted that you two were my family now... and well... now it is just you. and it is okay. I am okay with that. I will always support you Nightmare." he grins "You may be older now but i like to think i am still the older brother."
Nightmare feels aprt of himself break as he just sinks fully into Ccino's hold "please don't also leave me." it is weak. it is pathetic. He should be stronger than this. He should have been prepared for this.
Ccino just covers his skull wiht his body and holds him "I am not going anywhere Nightmare. I will be by your side. I swear on my soul."
Nightmare relaxes and lets himself enjoy the comfort he should not need this badly. He enjoys it and can't help but let his eyes slide around the room. His sight finds the masks and remembers.
The masks are the highest honour. only shared with those most special.
He thinks something catlike will fit his older brother.
#utmv#NewAgeAU#I am not gonna lie.#I could not for even a second remember if we like... spoke about which mask Ccino would have#but also like.#All the guys get cats.#Ccino OWNS a cat cafe in his own story.#This dude? 100% got the first cat mask.#the OG#it would ahve bene a house cat.#but anyone who has ever had or known cat knows not to underestimate a cat#*remembers the video of cats scaring of BEARS because that is THEIR house*#Also i couldn't fit it in but Ccino probably alreayd has liek 20ish cats roaming the area.#Nightmare is going to change nim's old wing into a cat wing.#so ccino has more room for even more cats.#Their capital city is NEVER going to see another mouse or rat ever again#I decided to add this silly energy becuase i may or may not have writen another slight gut punch#I don't know why angst/fluff combi is so easy for me to just go towards. it just happens!#also i am so sorry. i feel like i am changing the more neutral relationship you have between ccino and nightmare towards. older adopted bro#this does imply that ccino is upper big bro which is real funny to me.#also i started thinking about why ccino would even BE there. and well... skeleton. aged to first take care of them#but then perfect age to assist and support them as adult?#yeah. They were totally planning on just gifting ccino to dream after the pwoer boost like “here you go! Yours!”#be it mate or husband or like harem member. they didn't care. ccino was just a servant meant ot serve the ruler no matter what.#okay i will stop now.#Hope you enjoy your little gift ;)
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
feeling like tumblr is a job BUT IN A GOOD WAY like i sign on after my actual job onto my work (tumblr haikyuu smau writer hobby) computer (my home computer on it's last dying breath) to answer emails (reblog all of my moot's wonderful works) and write up reports (my own chapters LMAO)
#(warning i went feral in these tags. open at ur own risk)#these parentheses are giving me a headache#having a dyslexic moment i do not know why#second matcha latte at 11 pm at night LET'S GOOOO#oh i forgot to take my meds#just realized that#that may also be it#me and the voices just went silent when we all collectively realized that LMAOOO#me wondering why i have problems and then remembering last night i didn't take my meds again and then decided better late than never#and took them at 4 am#(and couldn't remember today if i had taken them last night before i remembered doing that)#and my meds are on the other side of my room and i am very cozy rn so no way i'm getting up to take them rn#it's okay my matcha latte will keep me good until i get up again in like three hours#i don't think my meds are helping anyway but i refuse to go to the doctor until like whenever i scheduled my next appointment#um i think it's in three months that's actually kind of a while#idk we'll come back to that chat#can u tell i haven't taken my meds#om nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom#wyr if u see this thank u for reintroducing gnaw into my vocabulary#i love om nom nom#gnaw#someone sedate me#ness' brainvomit <3#tw meds
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
people will think im ordinary until they say one (1) thing about tmnt and all of a sudden im explaining the entire lore starting from the 1990’s movie & why donatello is the best turtle i fear… T^T
tag limit fights me… i must yap… please listen… SOB </3
#tmnt yap in the taggies !!#would you believe me if i said my cat is named after donnie… teehee !! ^_^#i have been a tmnt lover since i was the ripe age of 6 years old SOBSOB#i used to write bf headcanons on wattpad way long ago… thats where my love for writing started i fear…#i probably have more tmnt merch than i do anime merch which is soso crazy to think about PHEW !!!#notebooks cups plushies legos shirts pajamas stickers tins action figs keychains name something and i have it… is that weird… SOB#im not joking when i say i know the entire lore and could explain everything from start to finish… FOR EACH AND EVERY REBOOT EVER…. wowza…#other than rottmnt because i’ve never been a fan of that reboot sigh…#the only reason donatello hamato isnt on my blorbie list is because i do not want to seem out of touch… he used to be there though !! :3#also i love raph too sigh#i fear donnie was my start to my love for nerdy men… raph was for the mean ones… cough cough akaashi and bakugo#tall lanky men… yeah hes a turtle… i know… let me speak… pls… i beg… T^T#tmnt 2012 will always be my star my light my beloved#i can recite every single episode </3 ALSO THE 2014 & 2017 MOVIES DONT GET ME STARTED i have them on dvd :3#i also have the 1990’s movies on dvd teehee theyre sososososoo good T^T my comfort franchise forever and always#i may always speak of anime but just know tmnt will always be the start of it all and my most beloved <3 its everything to me#also i was and still am an avid tmnt 2012 april oneil hater someone get her out of there i loathe her >:/#was never a supa big fan of leo im very sorry… idk who im sorry to… where are my tmnt fans… am i alone in this world… hello… tmnt fans…#omigosh im back after looking at my old wattpad story IM GIGGLING why was the writing kinda good… it was first person though sigh… goodness#i should create my own tmnt yap tag i fear… i will never shut up about it EVER SOBSOBSOB !! i even had a tmnt party when i was younger </3#donnie ( & mikey ) are so misunderstood UGH i could yap about the lore all day. donnie deserved more recognition he was always doing so muc#FOR ALL of his brothers and they never appreciated it… ill cry right now. donnie you will always be famous to me. april doesnt deserve you.#raph and his temper are so misunderstood too like please. always making him the bad guy HE JUST WANTS TO BE A GOOD BROTHER HES JUST AWKWARD#remembering when i had a crush on a guy names joseph in first grade and he liked tmnt too… joseph just know we were soulmates… i promise </#i used to go up to the tv and kiss the screen when donnie showed up. i was like 6 years old tho its okay… still sleep with my stuffie tho.#thank you to my yaya for buying me that when i had the flu hes still in perfect condition SOB donatello i love you so much UGH im crying#‘thats a mutant turtle ew !!’ HE IS VERY BEAUTIFUL AND LOVEABLE TO ME. YOU WOULDNT UNDERSTAND EVERYPONY </3 nia reference woah hi nia :3#whos in favor of tmnt. raise your hands up high so i can see them. im giggling. tmnt lovers rise we sha’ll prosper… WE RIDE AT DAWN 🦅🦅🦅#is this like totally crazy of me… has anyone read this far… if you have jusy know i love you. i cherish you. you are my everything <3#₍ᐢ..ᐢ₎ — lene’s latest gossip .ᐟ
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
ngl it makes me want to die a little bit that it's so often trans people who feel that sex is mutable but oppression is always-forever based on asab in ways that allow them to demand that information from other trans people. like it feels fucking bad. it feels bad when it's people holding up someone who posts a lot of selfies as transition goals to a degree they have to clarify what they have or haven't done or what "direction" they're going in, it feels worse when people are out there like "caster semenya is not tma" or whatever the fuck. i am, as always, not a trans woman, but here's a sentiment echoed by many of the trans women around me who log the fuck off, quoted directly from one: "people who draw a clear line where they say that semenya or khelif are tme and then call me tma are just calling me male at this point".
like i get it. i really do. we seek community and shared experiences, and we feel betrayed when people have less in common with us than we thought they did. [*more on this later.] but that's not those people's faults and my god in the case i'm seeing play out on twitter rn this poor person did absolutely nothing to intentionally mislead people, just posted pictures of their actual kid self. who looks a lot like i did, because shockingly enough "we can always tell" doesn't fucking work for trans people either!
on the one hand i move in intersex circles which are unapologetically welcoming in cis "dyadic" people with pcos, because it serves nobody to draw a clear line where mutilation or genetics or some ineffable childhood suffering are what make somebody intersex, especially when most of us (esp in places like nz) have never been karyotyped and are being treated for symptoms without a pinned-down cause anyway. the more of us there are the stronger we are, the more pressure we can exert on a medical profession which doesn't like to consider how common outliers are, how uneasy sex is at all. and then on the other hand there's dyadic trans people on the internet who've yelled me out of spaces because a couple of traumatised incarcerated trans women i worked with as a prison abolitionist assumed i was also a trans woman and i didn't immediately tell them my entire csa-involved history of being sexed in varying ways as an infant and child and/or exactly how big my phallus was at birth or where in my junk config my urethra lives so they could decide i was tme or whatever.
returning to the * for a related but not identical thought: i think presuming shared experiences leads to some fucked shit in general! "oh we all had a radfem phase" or "oh we all were channers" no we fucking weren't and it's particularly obnoxious when me & mine are trying to build trans community locally to organise and resist the growing wave of far-right backlash against our existence, and there's just white people in there on a spectrum from "straight up being antisemitic and trying to get the n-word pass" through "handwringing about how they need to make space for people who aren't politically correct" to "handwringing about how brown people are right to be mad at them but doing shit fuckall". and then the other fucking brown people in the space are on some identity politics shit where they're like "trans joy inherently excludes those of us who could get deported" or "big city white queers are killing us by being visible instead of going stealth bc it stirs up the discourse" or whatever the fuck i've heard pulled out this year. there's a bunch of reasons i primarily organise outside of trans spaces and that's one of them. i've never felt more alone in spaces where people claim we're all the same than being left as the brownest moderator or organiser in a space full of people to whom "this is a safe trans space" apparently means they get to abdicate all other responsibilities not to lapse into presumed shared patterns that are fucking racist or otherwise alienating. i've never felt more alone than surrounded by exclusively trans people who sort people into boxes and assume everyone in those boxes has the transition goals they have. like i was on cypro until it disagreed with me to the point of endocrine crisis and now i'm on t and at both those points people were so fucking presumptive or entitled to my reasons or journey or personal relationship w my body
literally just submitted on (and was invited to consult on) the nz law commission's review of the human rights act and like. it's straight up fucked how many nz trans people fully do not comprehend that any "sex assigned at birth" type definitions fundamentally exclude migrants who have no way of proving it and many intersex people who happen to have been reassigned later or many times or never assigned at all as a baby. we can't make law with this shit and that's why we have to have symmetrical protections for all genders/sexes/expressions/presentations, bc naming and defining a protected class here often leaves the people who already are left out from those shared experiences of marginalisation out in the cold when they face violence
#reblogs turned off because obviously i'm already bracing to be pilloried for saying one thing not quite correctly or whatever#and also bc i have zero interest in having this be boosted by trans dudes on their own transandrophobia agenda either#i'm just venting#but frankly the first time i got yelled at for saying that as an intersex person some of the immense violence i experienced as a child#was motivated by transmisogyny#i was a teenager and it was someone a fair bit older than me with more local clout so like. it's been a decade. how is it worse now.#intersex spaces have made SO much progress and yet#also yes i'm femme! i'm femme in a trans way! many dykes who aren't women are!#many of us got more comfortable w it as adults who had gender agency!#in literally the same way it took my wife ages after transitioning to work out she's also butch and doesn't actually want to do femme thing#bc that's a shared experience in how we've navigated the expectations of womanhood before opting out of the parts we don't want!#anyway the lawcomm shit was fucked bc honestl i don't give a shit if someone lost their gonads as an adult in an accident#they should be protected even if they don't consider themselves intersex#and we know that gender as an axis of oppression comes back to the reproduction of the nuclear family#and that cis women who can't have kids sometimes become the political football though ofc not as much by far and like#idk. y'all ever heard about solidarity? sometimes i feel like i'm back in the place where the loudest traumatised person at the party#is yelling at another young woman like “you'll never understand what it's like to be a victim”#when said young woman was assaulted the week before.#a politics that starts by defending and defining oneself w oppression kinda fucking sucks actually#and intersex people stopped policing intersexness by who got mutilated a long time ago#bc actually we want the generations ahead to not get that treatment#and when i see “trans elders” going on about how “if you pass and got on hrt before 18 you're not trans like i am” i'm like. why! what!#anyway. tired.#may regret this. we shall see#tony muses
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
um personally i think that if your girlfriend is insecure over you being friends with another girl you should run far away really fast. but i may be misreading the situation. i don't think i am though.
#i may be misreading. all i know is she got pissed at my friend while we were hanging out but friend has mentioned that she's 'got#trauma over being cheated on' which is understandable but we have been friends for a year and also i go out of my way to try and make this#girl understand i want to be her friend and i'm not trying for anything. i have a fucking bf. she has met my bf. she has seen how i am#around my bf vs around her gf. we r legit just friends. what the fuck man. please be normal and don't stress ur gf out like this. it's mean#:( idk all i know for sure is she said something that upset her while i was out of earshot but im using context clues and im not stupid.#genuinely i think she is misreading some stuff. yes me and her gf/my friend get along really really well but it's like.. two kids who met i#a playplace kind of way. we do shenanigans and talk about stuff. i do not want to fw her. i am not willing to fw such a heavy smoker.#i love her dearly but sometimes i think she is- love and light- incredibly pretentious in a way that irritates me a little. fine for a#friend. intolerable in a partner. many reasons why i would never. also I HAVE A BOYFRIEND. THAT I AM SO SERIOUS ABOUT.#insulting to me. honestly. but i could be misreading but i don't think i am.#and insulting as fuck to her gf who is head over heels possibly blindly in love with her my god.#idk i just don't trust that she isn't still insecure about me. and i don't like that she said something upsetting while we were having fun.#i don't like it.#girl i dont want your gf for so many reasons. also i am in a relationship what the fuck girl. what the fuck do you think of me. and also#have some fucking trust in your own gf. insane behavior. insane. she would never ever cheat on her she is possibly one of the most honest#and like. morally sound people i have ever met. she would never. it's so fucked up to think that of her.
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tag drop: Aventurine.
#aventurine. [ mr. cavalier gambler: uptight. overcautious. inferiority complex. you've won so much but you're still so afraid of losing. ]#aventurine: ic. [ they see only the straight flush. they don't know the other hand below the table clutching your chips for dear life. ]#aventurine: inquiries. [ time to make a move my friend. say goodbye before you shuffle off. it's… best to die without regrets. ]#aventurine: countenance. [ now go. and pick the clothes that you like. then choose your desired identity and use them well. ]#aventurine: introspection. [ “sleep is the rehearsal of death”? why does life slumber? because we are not ready for the final rest. ]#aventurine: meta. [ the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason. but you've never gone in any other direction. ]#aventurine: little notes. [ you will keep winning; having never lost before. but why you? why... must it be you? ]#aventurine: wishes. [ even if the chance of winning is close to zero. well... you can't win if you don't play; right? ]#aventurine: etc. [ the chance… no matter how small: the potential is what you hang onto. that is what justifies the gamble. ]#aventurine: ipc. [ … i'll give you that and much more than that. the ipc will give you whatever you want. even what you don't want. ]#aventurine: trio. [ three cornerstones who for a measly penacony... offered their everything. you're more united than the family. ]#aventurine: astral express. [ friends: the game has commenced and you cannot choose to decline… nor do you have grounds to. ]#aventurine: fate. [ if the dice of fate are always weighted then that is our destiny. why then... do we struggle against it? ]#aventurine: past. [ our paths will cross again beneath kakava's shimmering auroras. farewell: kakavasha. ]#aventurine: luck. [ he's only drunk on the moment that makes his very life quiver. hell is only one decision away from heaven. ]#aventurine: topaz. [ i never expected the beautiful and kind-hearted director topaz to resort to distorting concepts like that. ]#aventurine: topaz. [ but since i survived i realized: wherever you go that's where i'll follow; nobody's promised tomorrow. ] immobiliter.#aventurine: jade. [ it's often used as a counterfeit for jade. but it looks like jade… can be substituted for aventurine too. ]#aventurine: veritas ratio. [ unfortunately for him; i make for a more competent conversationalist than the other dimwits around here. ]#aventurine: black swan. [ nothing remains hidden from you… does it? i will find my place in the web of your schemes; memokeeper. ]#aventurine: sunday. [ is this what the harmony represents? is it built upon constraint and coercion? ]#aventurine: acheron. [ only by casting aside reason does one truly gamble. “emanator” — I know you'll match my wager. ]#aventurine: v. youth. [ but the sun could not kill me and the quicksand sent me back to the embrace of the guild and the ipc. ]#aventurine: v. penacony. [ i seem that way because i am nervous. maybe you can help. what do you say; put our palms together a last time? ]#aventurine: v. future. [ the once falling die has at last landed on its earthly rest. quietly… peacefully: it at last landed. ]#tag drop#[ ... i wanted to add in a tag for robin. but i think that may have to come personalized. ]#[ /rubs hands together. lets see if any of these are broken. ]#aventurine: robin. [ so she sings; but does she dance? ] avaere.#[ okay i changed my mind-- there's a robin tag. ]
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Dysprosium, Mary Soon Lee
dysprosium, AN 66, is a silvery-white rare earth metal. its name is derived from the greek dysprositos, meaning “hard to get at”, owing to the difficulty in separating and isolating this rare earth element. dysprosium is used to measure neutron flux, to fuel reactors, and to activate phosphors. terfenol-d is a magnetorestrictive alloy, meaning that it changes shape when a magnetic field is applied, and is used to manufacture underwater acoustic systems.
jason “robo” robertson, dallas stars #21 for @simmyfrobby’s nhl periodic table poems <3
#i had a couple different ideas for poems that were taken by the time i could go deranged for a couple hours to make this but as I looked#i was like WAIT NONE OF YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE JASON ROBERTSON YOU HAVEN’T SEEN MY TEXAS CAM and had to do it. also was STRUCK with the#sudden immaculate vision of the Dallas D as part of terfenol-D and could not get it out & robo is the most dance! person i know on the team#liv in the replies#dallas stars#jason robertson#nhl periodic table poems#guys i am plagued with visions and no execution skills!! every day i come here and learn one new skill on GIMP the way god intended!!!#today it was emboss. also cannot claim any credit for the pulse to the magnetic beat photo which is so cool that was one where i had a#couple and was like maybe i can do like crayon shockwaves like the art process video kasper showed? and then found that picture and was#like thank you lord stanley for knowing my limitations. thank you for your understanding in this moment it was a trial enough to make#expand contract dance and one would THINK i would have fucking learned from the claude animorphs tragedy!! i did not. but i did use the#shear tool and 3D rotate so at least if we’re animorphing it’s SLIGHTLY better. anyway me frantically doing this like WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT#WAIT FOR ME YOU GUYS ARE SO FAST i keep seeing all of these and just spinning around in circles until i get dizzy & fall down I’m so happy#the drive folder for this is just called joy!!!!! because joy this is such a cool idea but now because it brings me so much joy#i just saw the Travis dermott one and burst into tears super normal AND someone did exactly what i wanted with hydrogen which was the water#the ice!!!!! it’s so perfect!!! and cody ofc did silver lord stanley. like does it ever make you cry how beautiful & creative everyone is?#anyway if you see me post and delete this and then update it or change it no you didn’t it’s fine. but i wanted to be included#if i could make the dysprosium letters not have a white background i would I simply could not fuck with it at 1AM. we are hitting send#it may not look like it but i queue#pretend i spoke at length about the reasons why i picked all the pictures & the element just know that it’s there inside my brain u can ask#GUYS I TAKE IT ALL BACK I SAW NEONFRETRA’S ISOTOPES AND I COULD MAKE THE EDITS EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE THERE!! ISOTOPES!!!! YOU GUYS!!!!!!#get ready for the edits then. dylan magnesium my beloved child of stars who can never return… like i wish i could say anyone else but it’s#i KNOW number nineteens bismuth don’t make me Google how many years nolan played hockey but also there’s ej for stable so.. also half-life#actinium claude giroux my beloved… when i saw there already was a claude i thought maybe Brady too for that#I don’t know how but flerovium doubled magic is percolating in my brain as was promethium bad boy because I was like hmmm. tyler. but#couldn’t commit and THEN SOMEONE DID BAD BAD LEROY BROWN TYLER BERTUZZI TO PROMETHIUM AND BESTIE I AM KISSING YOU ON THE MOUTH!!! with cons#anyway shane wright germanium with juraj slafkovský but showing him very obviously not missing it. if jack eichel was not an asshole#the narratives WOULD be narrativing. you could argue for a sidovi here with the calder cup and potentially a best friend stealing narrative#(the most recent is cam yorke’s acquisition of jamie d from trevor zegras which would then require a yorkie one for silicon the other side)
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Okay, I know I'm not the only one who is hearing nor seeing things right now.
But I'd notice something about one of the new interludes' instrumentals. I first decided to recheck it on my moot's New Interlude Messages video due to boredom lol, and then this idea that somehow popped in my head went out of nowhere.
So hear me out:
So during the New Interludes..
The First Message sounds like the motif vibe of Atlantic.
The Second Message sounds something similiar to Chokehold.
And then the final one, the sound of this looks like
Take Me Back To Eden. I think in my theory, the first message looks like that Sleep is convincing Vessel that Death can be something, but this is probably either after Bloodsport or Higher before this. Probably foreshadowing or somethin, and then in the second message, Vessel thinks that it may not be, probably deciding to confront Sleep from talking about Death. But in the end of the message, Sleep thinks it might be. And this leads to...
Are we finally gonna see Vessel fully confronting Sleep?
Let me know what do you guys think.
After that Vessel had finally find out that their own relationship is nothing but a toxic mess? This explains the "Nothing Lasts Forever" part on their insta bio?
Perhaps there will be brand new messages around the Europe-UK tours to explain it all?
Sleep Token Fans when theorizing and analzying:
#crimson talks!#sleep token#sleep token band#sleep token worship#vessel sleep token#sleep token vessel#sleep token analysis#sleep token lore#sleep token theories#just imagine this. Us on tour noticing and hearing new interludes about Vessel. first comforting himself and then goes to confront Sleep.#I know it'll probably never happen.. but I think we may or may not receive TMBTE music videos.#But not all of them.. but THREE important songs that will be in the music video..#Like Ascensionism. TMBTE and then finally Eucild.#Ooooo I'm being like Sherhold Holmes hear except he is starting to collect it all together..#And again. Lemme know what do you all guys think? I perhaps had to analyze it all if I have the chance!#also.. What i meant is that we MIGHT had to see TMBTE music videos. Except only three songs are there.#Why? Because there are super important. Meaning that Vessel finally became stronger to confront Sleep.#And then Vessel finally going to move on and be the healing person he deserves.#....Yep. I am totally gonna right for this.#bye- *fades until 10000000000 years later*
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
lbr, johann would be fascinated with barton’s mask and compliment him on how well preserved it is.
❝ holy shit. i almost gave up hope with this stupid card, but it seems like someone is just my type, ❞ barton let out a loud incredulous laugh upon seeing that ALL of the boxes for this card were ticked. he was almost tempted to ask if johann was lying about some of them, but what would he really have to gain from that besides... his favor, i guess you could say? and the other didn't really seem like the type to try to manipulate him. at least, in this way. barton honestly was kind of speechless — he hadn't really planned for someone to be perfectly compatible with him, so what the hell was he supposed to do now?
marriage. that was the only solution.
#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#THE CAT. i'm sorry but i have had that meme saved for a while and i've been waiting for just the right moment to use it... so why not now-#am i right? LMAO 💀 i mean it certainly seems kind of appropriate but OFC i'm just joking about them actually getting married#if johann would want to go a date with him though... or a few dates.... and possibly be his bf (WOAH there barton calm down JSJSJ LOL) then#feel free to let me know because. man's might or might not feel like he may explode if he doesn't at least TRY to see if he'd be interested#lolll so yeah. you can definitely say that barton got heart eyes whenever he saw that he got all of his boxes ticked tehe. we LOVE that for#johann though <33 (please run away while you still can johann bc you're NEVER going to be able to get rid of him if you invite him into#your life... kind of like a vampire JSJSJ nah i'm kidding. well partially 💀 )#BUT fr. he's never had someone be fascinated with his mask before? man's usually just gets horrified reactions and for good reason OFC LOL#but i imagine barton would be happy to answer any questions he has about it bc like i said... everyone usually wants to get away from him#bc of it hahahhh
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
trying to decipher if the overwhelming dread & Thoughts are cause of the state of the world or cause i need a shower.
vent post in the tags. idk. do whatever 👍
#sorry bros im about to ventpost in these mf tags 👍#im so fucking tired man. im already suicidal to begin with but the Everything happening is making it Worse. Yippe Yahoo Hooray.#therapy in a week though so ive got that at least.#this is the worst time of year for shit to go south.but Uh Oh saying that makes me feel like a selfish fuckass because other people -#- have it worse. like. god fucking damn. i get Extra suicidal around september -> march range sure. but other people are literally suffering#like as we fucking speak. and ive done fuckall to help cause i dont know HOW to help. but thats not a fucking excuse#im just being comfortable in my lazy ass depression spiral cause im a selfish fucking prick. “i cant spare the energy to vett things”#other people are fucking dying and im over here like “noo im too tiwed :( i cant do anyfing so im not gona do anyfing cuz im wazy and tiwed”#what the fuck is wrong with me lmao. knowing me im not gona change shit anyway despite fucking complaining about it cause im just. fucking#Like That.#idk. i was reblogging some of those “hold in there dont kill yourselves” posts cause like. yk. suicide bad or fucking whatever. but someone#on this site said something along the lines of “ok but how many people reblogging/posting these told jews to kill themselves” and like.#i dont know. i dont fucking know dude. so i guess im not reblogging Those anymore.#theres bigger issues out there and here i am focusing on some queer people who might kill themselves. idk. i should just join them yk#cause i never fucking focus on the bigger shit cause “i dont know how” and “i dont want to make things worse so i just wont do anything” so#im not doing fuckall other than just being part of the fucking problem here.#i should probably just delete social media for a while and see from there.#or just fucking drink about it thats the other option. its worked for me before (lie) so i may as well do it again am i right#im sorry i never like. boost gofundmes or fundraisers and shit i just.#i dont have a fucking excuse. im just a lazy fucking bastard in my own stupid fucking comfort circle.#“oh no seeing that people are dying makes me uncomforyable :(” ok well people are fucking dying you self absorbed douchebag. why cant you#get off your stupid fucking ass and do something. get a job so you can fucking help people or *something#its not like you have to pay rent and shit.#<- all about myself. cause yk. self centered douchbag. hooray.#i dont pay rent and i dont have to pay for my own food. i still live with my parents. im fucking useless to society so i may as well get a#job and send the money i dont fucking need to somrone who DOES need it. but here i am.#in.my stupid fucking bed til noon cause “the world is scary and jobs are hard :(”#its fucking retail. retail isnt as fucking hard as like. construction and shit but here i am anyway “unable” to do shit.#i fucking could if i just fucking ballsed up and put up with shit. but no. here i fucking am going “nooo i should just kill myself instead”#vent post
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I feel like certain people on Tumblr have really been fighting for backwards progress when it comes to how we talk about mental illness and abuse. I see posts at least several times a week on my dash that seem to have the purpose of implying people with insert-mental-illness and/or insert-symptom are not abusive when they do insert-action-that-makes-people-uncomfortable, often times meaning to promote a more positive image of people with particularly stigmatized conditions, like personality disorders, mood disorders, psychosis, addiction, or neurodivergence. And I really really hate it because these posts almost always have the ultimate purpose of telling people not just "This thing is not inherently abusive," but often it comes across as "You were not abused."
I just find that to be really unhelpful and unintentionally hurtful, and for what? I believe that destigmatizing various mental conditions is a worthy cause, but at the same time this type of rhetoric seems to be so protective of people in whichever stigmatized group they're trying to advocate for, that it comes back around to a sort of respectability politics. Anybody can be an abuser. And someone's means and methods of abusing can very much be influenced by a condition they have. Why wouldn't it be? Their conditions will affect every aspect of their life and their interpersonal relationships. Especially if these issues are going untreated or being insufficiently managed. I don't understand why anyone would want to make it appear as if abusers are mostly neurotypical and mentally well people, or that if they aren't, then their conditions have nothing to do with it and the overlap is merely incidental. What? It makes it so hard for anyone who is a victim to come to terms and identify the dynamics of what they've gone through.
Addicts and mentally ill people don't have to be unproblematic in order to be humanized and accepted. And nobody profits from writing hard and fast rules about how abuse apparently works, drawing clear lines between which behaviors can, and cannot, ever be abuse.
#tales from diana#making unrebloggable bc i can't handle the discourse on this topic#my own experience with being abused and taken advantage of by someone who almost CERTAINLY had npd... just kinda breaks me#when i see this and it's like making it out to be 'everyone who says they suffered from narcissistic abuse is lying#or misunderstanding what narcissism is because ppl w npd would NEVER do this'#i can see that it's a highly stigmatized term and i don't want to act like an expert on what ppl w the condition go through#but i can tell you i felt deep sympathy for this man for a long time. i felt pity for all he'd gone through. but he'd just lay on the guilt#for every little thing i did that ever displeased him for any reason. he just degraded and disrespected me. and USED me#he used me for money for attention for CONSTANT attention oh my god#he wouldn't even let me go to sleep sometimes before 3 am. and he stole so much money from me#he put me in physical danger. he gossiped about me to all my friends when i was starting to distance myself#before i even came to terms with just how toxic he was to me.#and every time i just wanted to go somewhere wo him or even just stay at home by myself#it was about HIM. it was about how HE felt about it. he had ZERO sympathy for me and i handled all his emotional labor#this man couldn't even think for himself. he brought all his problems to me for me to sort through bc he was so inept and shallow#he was lazy he was careless he didn't listen to ppl he was casually rude#i didn't allow myself to accept these parts of him bc of all he suffered through i felt like he was just a sad little boy#who never learned manners or etiquette or. just. respect#basic respect. as much as i outlined what i wasn't ok w and what hurt me. it didn't matter to him#and NONE of these things are inherently the things that make me think he has npd#his actual suffering and the things i felt bad for him about were very real and severe#but i know what happened between us and i know he was abusive to me. the ppl writing these posts do not.#to say that someone has been abusive in an interpersonal relationship should be something we should be able to respect#and give ppl the benefit of the doubt. and victims may OFTEN not be well-informed about their own abusers' issues#but ppl can just know whether or not they were abused. regardless of if they fully grasp the why and how#if victims say something problematic or paint w a broad brush talking abt ppl who have something in common w their abuser#we should still correct that gently and kindly and not dismiss their experience outright#like i can't believe i have to say that. but i've seen some seriously upsetting posts on here recently.
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
realizing that my warden rook backstory would make her a little older than I’d like to romance lucanis: :(
realizing that my warden rook backstory would make her the PERFECT age to romance emmrich: >:) >:) >:)
#unrelated but did you know that if veilguard takes place in 9:52ish dragon#and you were a servant rescued from chateau d’onterre as a teenager by a warden#and conscripted due to his paranoia of an oncoming blight#you’d be in your mid-to-late 40s by the time the game starts?#:)#(canonically the wardens started sensing the dao blight in 9:25ish and the last entry from chateau d’onterre was in 9:27)#and AHA you may be thinking: if she was a warden during the blight why didn’t she die at ostagar#you FOOL she’s ORLESIAN#anyways I’ve been rolling this character around in my head for the past three months and never did the math until today#BUT a warden trying to come to terms with her inevitable sooner-than-later calling (because she’s been a warden for ~25 years)#romancing THE death and mortality peepaw ohohohoho I am COOKING#dragon age#dav#dragon age: the veilguard#this does put a wrench in my headcanon to have ramesh be like a surrogate father to her in the wardens#and then to get word that he left for his calling while she was away#but we can rebuild that we have both the technology AND the insatiable lust for tragedy!!!!!!!!!!#lucanis you are NOT safe from my mourn watch mage rook#davrin and taash you are on thin fucking ice while I figure out a rook for you
5 notes
·
View notes