#why Beth was also complicit

[michelleelizabethtanner]

Super love your work! I know you get lots of asks, but I was really curious so I hope you don't mind answering another question. Dean said he and Stan had known each other for 20 years or something like that in season 4. Do you think they were friends first before he met Ruby and Beth? And how come we never heard any lip from Stan to Dean about him cheating? You've mentioned before that at the end of the show, Ruby is in the same position as Beth was when the show started, meaning Stan kind of became her Dean (to a lesser extent because ew, no one else in the show is that bad lol). What do you make of Stan, this supposed law-abiding goody-two-shoes, seemingly letting Dean's bullshit slide?

I guess what I am trying to understand is if these 4 people who have known each other for years were all friends before or did they each become "friends" through their spouses? Because Stan sure as hell could not care less about Beth and Dean doesn't seem to give that much of a fuck about Ruby.

And I want to understand why the hell someone like Stan was ever friends with Dean or why he would entertain continuing that friendship post pilot episode. I can understand his reasons for distancing himself from Beth in season 4, but I cannot wrap my head around why he'll stay friends with Dean.

I would love to hear your thoughts!

Ooo, these are such good thoughts, Anon! And I appreciate the ask and your kind words! I’ve definitely spent time contemplating this and running the gamut of emotions about Stan and his complicity in excusing and enabling toxic male behavior. As with most inexplicable behaviors and dynamics on the show, I think it’s much more layered and complicated than this dramedy showed us. I truly will never understand how they set up these extremely thought-provoking characters and situations and then just focussed on the dumbest things!!! Why not explore some of these concepts that actually impact society and people would find relatable?

Basically, I don’t think the Hills and the Bolands ever lived in the same universe. The Beth/Ruby relationship seems extremely disproportionate to me, with Ruby playing the sidekick to Beth’s constant need. Ruby has always represented an escape from Beth’s abusive home life. So did Dean, but Ruby actually loved Beth, which created this transactional relationship between them where Ruby constantly was earning her keep by making Beth the priority. In every situation we’ve been shown as these two women grew up together, Ruby and Beth participated in each other’s lives on Beth’s terms.

And again, this is difficult to really pinpoint because we were shown so little, but why was absolutely nothing shown of Stan and Ruby when they were young? I think it speaks volumes that the three “main characters” were all given histories except Stan and Ruby, who are explained in the broadest strokes possible and we are given no flashbacks of who they used to be before their adult lives. Hence all your questions, Anon. Ruby exists on the show in her sole purpose of propping up Beth, and that’s how I’m viewing their relationship.

That being said, consider the world Stan was living in. To him, Ruby is the star. He and Ruby are the primary relationship. Their dreams, their family, THAT’S what matters. And he was very patient throughout their lives as Ruby made Beth an enormous priority, in ways that Beth didn’t appear to fully reciprocate. I don’t think Stan and Dean were besties in high school. I think they knew each other. Dean was sporty. Arrogant. A jock. Stan was probably kinda nerdy. He doesn’t appear to be from an especially privileged background. Dean was from an obviously very wealthy, WASPy family who (I’m just gonna say it) probably wouldn’t have welcomed Stan or Ruby with open arms. How could that have ever been a proportionate friendship? How could Beth’s life becoming more and more like the Boland’s life have ever been something Stan would embrace or feel any personal accountability to?

Beth modeled her very being after Judith. Who else would have been her role model? Her own mother was a source of shame and trauma for her. She viewed Dean as a way out. His family was the “right” kind of family. His family is how you’re “supposed to be.” Beth became Judith. Hence why she resented Judith so much. Because she was always defensive and always made to feel like Dean did her a favor, rescuing her from her problematic home. No matter how much she tried to cover it, she was always that girl from the dirty house with the empty refrigerator, with the wild sister with broken limbs because no one was watching them or taking care of them.

So while understandable why Beth wanted out and why she wanted to build this pristine life, that life was modeled after a history that directly opposed people like Stan and Ruby. Beth either ignored it or, more likely, didn’t even see it. Because she didn’t live that reality. Ruby probably felt it, but she loved Beth so it was just how things were. Stan, I imagine, felt that resentment much more acutely. He never made the choice to worship the Bolands. Ruby did. And he went with it because he loved Ruby. But when Dean inevitably became what rich white men become, Stan didn’t say anything. Because it wasn’t a surprise and it wasn’t his responsibility to deal with. He had already put up with enough of the Boland privilege. He couldn’t have been expected to then step in to rescue this woman who made her own bed and chose to lie in it. Beth’s traumas, while valid and still traumas, aren’t the only traumas in the world. Ruby and Stan lived in an entire world not built for them, and spent their time smiling through it. So to Stan, if this white woman can so easily excuse the casual racism of their everyday lives, why would she not also excuse the casual infidelity of her own husband? I imagine he just figured that’s what these people are. Blindly privileged and complicit in their own downfalls because of their entitled complacency.

I don’t really see Stan as EVER being Dean’s “friend.” Not in the way friendships are reciprocal and invested relationships. Stan became someone Dean leaned on because he didn’t have anyone else. Stan resented Beth so much by season 4 that he just went along with anything that would get the Bolands out of his life. And the funny thing is, the shock on Beth’s face as Stan finally aired his resentments showed that she had absolutely no idea that she wasn’t the star in his life. That he didn’t appreciate having to sacrifice for her whims – not just in crime, but ALL their lives. They tell the story of how Ruby called Beth when she went into labor with Sarah before she called Stan. That isn’t a cute or funny story. That is a story of a privileged woman holding power over Stan’s wife and control over Stan’s very life. Who wouldn’t be resentful of that?

So this kind of went on a little. Sorry about that. This is just how I view these two couples and their history. There is no way to avoid consequences of social inequities when they are everyone’s reality. I think the show could have taken some “risks” and actually explored these topics instead of burying them under ridiculous side plots and unnecessary comic relief. Beth’s casual racism extends to many of her relationships, including the one with Rio. She wanted to be a leader in his operation while actively holding herself above the people making that operation happen. This is a theme and a lived experience I think most of us can relate to in some way and can think consciously about as we watch these fictional relationships flail in the wind.

[theburialofstrawberries]

Jackie says she was bullied as a fat kid and learned "how to fight back;" she goes crazy in Vegas when she hallucinates someone calling her fat. I think there's a direct line connecting this with Jackie's fight instinct to Lou constantly reiterating that Jackie killed J.J., and Lou locking Jackie inside the house. Over the payphone, Jackie's foster mother, curt: "Stay away from us, you monster." Lou doesn't know she is treating Jackie like a monster. Jackie can't have that feeling. Perhaps that's why she needs to run away to Vegas and win so bad: to disarm her size and her strength, to have those qualities be unimpeachable, only for show and admiration.

Jackie in turn is tripping all of Lou's wires. We know Lou thinks her mother ran away, and fears that Lou Sr. maybe killed her. But Lou Sr. goads her about an even deeper fear: that Lou's mom ran away not only to get away from her husband, but also to get away from her awful, complicit daughter. (Lou is so terrified this is true that she has red nightmares about it all movie long. When she's more afraid, there's more red on the screen, like the glow from the hospital's Coke vending machine when Lou Sr. confronts her about J.J.'s body.) If Jackie's response to being perceived as a monster is to fight, Lou's is to take flight: exit the situation for fear of abandonment. She comes close to doing this in the confrontation with Jackie after dinner with J.J. and Beth (a confrontation aborted only because of the lingering F.B.I. agent), but J.J.'s murder flings the shit into the fan.

Lou does everything in her power to cover up J.J.'s murder, and then Daisy's, so that Jackie doesn't leave her. But everything Lou does reminds Jackie that she's a monster (Daisy naked, victorious, whispering: "Lou doesn't want you anymore"). When Lou frees Jackie from her binds in the shed, Jackie takes off running, so caustic is the effect of this reminder ("I wish I never met you!") We know she's not running away for fear that Lou will kill her, because Jackie only really calms down when Lou convinces her that 1) she still desires Jackie, and (2) Jackie is not morally culpable for the murders of J.J. and Daisy. She was forced, for fear of Beth's life, for fear of Lou Sr. (Lou in her recounting was also forced to sleep with Daisy. Everyone is only ever forced to do bad things; no one is ever a bad person. Convenient!)

Lou has freed Jackie from several mental hang-ups. So Jackie joyfully reclaims her size and strength and breaks a guy's arms as easy as wringing a wet t-shirt. And Lou is now more aware of Jackie's inner turmoil than she was before. In the last scene, when she slips quietly out of the truck to kill Daisy, she is loathe to disturb Jackie's sleep, yes, and also her conscience.

[dandelionh3art]

🇮🇱 This screenshot is a microcosm of conservative-Zionism.

At the top, you have an Israeli showing no sympathy for dead Palestinians.

At the bottom, you have a British-Zionist who I’m sure sees herself as a ‘patriot.’

Now if we asked the Israeli in this conversation:

“Do you think the Palestinians should be kicked off the land and for Israel to take over the entire area?”

I’m sure the reply we’d get is:

“Yes.”

And then those millions of Palestinian refugees would be on their way to the US and Europe.

And then the ‘patriot’ will say:

“We don’t want them here! Why don’t they go to Arab countries?”

And the Arab countries will say:

“We’re not taking them in because they deserve to remain intheir land.”

And then the Israeli will stay silent because she still wants the Palestinians gone.

And then the angry Palestinian refugees who just lost their land will arrive in the US and Europe.

And then some of them, angered by their host country being complicit in the ethnic cleansing of their people, may resort to acts of terror.

In their eyes, they’ve lost it all already, so they have nothing left to lose.

And then once this happens, the Israeli will say:

“See. We fought against Islamism. The West is suffering because of those darn Muslims!”

And then the boomer Zionist-conservative will say:

“Yeah! I agree with Israel! Those darn Muslims are at it again!”

And much like we see over and over and over and over again, the retarded Zionist ‘patriot’ fails to realize that it’s the Israeli’s fault that the angry refugee is in their country in the first place!

And this is the problem with retarded conservative-Zionist fake patriots.

They support Israel because of issues Israel has created in their country, while Israel continues creating problems that may lead to more issues in their country!

And Israel has them so brainwashed that the anger will still be directed at the outcome rather than the root cause (((((Israel))))).

Israel benefits the West in precisely 0 cases, yet due to constant bombardment of propaganda from our Zionist-owned government, media, and entertainment industry, retards, who think they’re patriots, will still support them.

Israel guts our economy.

Israel makes us fight their wars.

Israel controls our politicians.

Israel has OUR soldiers die for THEM.

Israel bribes and blackmails important figures in OUR societies in order to do THEIR bidding.

Israel stages false flag attacks in OUR countries so that WE’LL fight THEIR wars.

After Israel brainwashes members of our societies, and bribes our politicians to support their wars, they then send us the angry displaced refugees.

Then Israel propagandizes our societies even further and has us direct the blame on the outcome of the problem, but not the cause.

I mean the British ‘patriot’ in this screenshot is so brainwashed that she used a gif of a child to dismiss the killing of, it says 150 Palestinians, but in reality, it was much more.

Multiple children were among the dead in Gaza today.

Do the lives of those children not matter?

Why don’t they get your sympathy?

They’ve been so programmed by Hasbara propaganda that they no longer feel sympathy for dead children.

Like, do you actually realize how insane that is?

This state can ruin the West in so many ways, and these retarded fake ‘patriots’ will even go as far as to support them killing children!

Pure lunacy, literally the worst of the worst.

Israel is Israel First and the West Last.

Zionist ‘patriots’ are also Israel First and the West Last, even if they don’t realize it.

Israel is not an ally of the West, Israel is not an enemy of the West,

Israel is THE enemy of the West.

If their ever was a war that was justified, it would be a war AGAINST Israel, not a war FOR Israel.

Anyway, I’ve seen many characters like Beth today, fake patriots of many different Western nations, and I felt like I had to write a little rant addressing it.

[septiembrre]

I am very behind on Tumblr so just saw your "Ask Me Anything" on any fic post (no worries if you're not still in the mood!) I've reread Chapter 2 ("Let's Run Away Together" Kiss) of "On A One-Last-Time Basis" about a million times. I love the tentativeness mixed with the growing comfortableness plus the hopefulness of the strengthening relationship. So my question - DID they got to Hawaii? Where in Hawaii? How was it? Did she wear the red swimsuit and the big hat!! ❤️❤️❤️

Joey!!! This has been such a fun thing to think about this week. Thank you for reminding me of this prompt fill. It makes me so happy to know you read it from time to time.

I started to write out the responses to your question and then i started to daydream about the whole situation and well. I still need to write the part where they're actually on the beach, but I had fun imagining them getting there.

*****

Beth wedged her hands between the backs of her thighs and the cloth of the backseat. All the things that could go wrong – a delay at the airport, missing their connection, a broken bone while she was two flights away from her children – looped in her brain, only periodically interrupted by the smaller, but profoundly embarrassing thought: would security confiscate the handcuffs?

He had dared her to do it, twisted those stupidly pouty lips, and said, “I mean... I guess if you’re scared.” Then, he looked at her and made that face. “Seems kinda sad though. This is what gets you.”

And in an annoying way, he was right. The crazy stuff she’s done–

Except.

This was federal, right? Like a different kind of federal? Beth was a money launderer complicit in murder and annoyingly partnered with said murderer but –

She can’t help it. She draws the line at being suspected of terrorism.

“Darlin’, they’re gonna act up and throw us to second inspection at some point anyway.”

“Why… would they do that?”

Rio tsked. “They got some dumb flag on my passport. It comes up every time they run it.” He said this almost proudly. “That’s why I have others–” a bossy, implied you hovered behind that. “–cross my money.”

At that, Beth blinked. Then she rolled her eyes. “Our money.”

She googled the legality of it on at least three separate occasions just to be sure. However, now in the car on the way to the airport, the idea of some uniformed stranger lifting the handcuffs from her carry-on by one single gloved finger, the shiny metal glittering for an audience was making Beth want to puke.

Or maybe, just maybe, it was the thought lingering on the outskirts of her mind–that this whole week just them, alone, without any interruptions or distractions, would really push the truce they built. For one, they could murder each other. But, also–

What if...

What if Rio reconsidered this? Whatever this was. Like all the flustering... promise of the past few months fell flat on its face because… Because what if after all these weeks of looking forward to it (stressing about it), they flew all that way and Beth still couldn’t relax? What if she ruined it for her and for him? Or what if…

What if they weren’t fun?

This last thought made her stomach flop. The sensation of cotton felt heavy in her ears.

She took a deep breath.

Or maybe the nausea was from the bundle of Black Ice dangling from the rearview mirror. Her stomach lurched again as Mick cut off a car to merge onto the interstate.

Next to her, Rio muttered, “Chill, güey.” Then, he cracked his window. The sudden noise startled Beth and Rio’s hand came to squeeze her knee. Cool air cut across the back seat as Mick and Rio were locked in some sort of nonverbal battle about Mick’s driving through the rearview mirror until Rio pointedly looked away.

His elbow tapped against hers. Beth’s gaze pulled to his.

“Hello, darlin’.”

This expression, curling the edge of his lips just so, was new. It was honest, eager, and it notched itself in the center of Beth’s chest. And like always, something about his undivided attention shorts out the stream of worries, the ticker, and she couldn’t help but grin back at him.

****

They make it through security without any significant scrutiny. No one on the other side seems to bat an eyelash either when she and Rio duck into a single-stall bathroom together.

When they finally make it on their plane, they drink champagne in first class.

[harpersplay]

dean's multiple affairs - a mistake and mistakes are human (which btw ignores the fact that he lost all their money, the cheating wasn't his only initial mistake; also ignores that since he discovered his wife's crimes, he's also committed crimes, like the botox thing and paying off terry, so it's not like committing crimes is a special thing unique to beth in that family)

beth's affair and crimes (which i admit aren't only motivated by the family's financial situation but that is without a doubt a big part of it IMO, since it's the only reason why she even started to begin with, which he failed to mention) - JAIL TIME FOR THE HORRIBLE MOTHER WHO DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT OUR KIDS OR ME, HER POOR HUSBAND WHO ONLY MADE A SMALL MISTAKE AND SHOULD'VE BEEN FORGIVEN BY NOW

Exactly! And I wouldn't mind if Dean was being portrayed as wrong in this. Or, that's a lie, I would mind because that's a story I can watch anywhere. But, full offence, the people who think Dean is being portrayed in a poor light don't know anything about how to watch & analyse a television show.

Since S1, Dean has gotten sympathetic scenes. We get his POV all the time. Shots linger on his hurt or sad or confused face. We joke about the montages, but that is a writing choice! Jenna & Co have 42ish mintutes an episode. Every second is precious. CHOOSING to montage Dean constantly is how the show tells you he is important and that we should care about his feelings. An episode starts with Super Dad Dean just to contrast with Beth's betrayal later in that same episode. History is being rewritten from Dean always "staying late at work" (fucking someone) and cheating often to Dean being there for the kids and just making a few indiscretions. Like, fuck, use your brains, please. There is interpretation and there is flat out denial of what the text and the authors are telling you. (which is a totally valid way to fandom. but say "fuck canon" with your chest.)

The story has ALWAYS—since episode one—been about Beth & Dean's marriage. The hardships, the history, the dis/honesty. If you don't see that, it is because YOU don't want to see it. The writing is so heavy-handed about it.

And I still do not understand how self-professed Beth stans are enjoying a story about how Beth is equally complicit in the failure of that marriage when CANON has told us that the problems started well before Beth "acted out" by robbing a grocery store.

[pbandjesse]

Today was a little stressful. With everything happening in the news. With roe being in jeopardy. It was hard to be online today. Focusing on work was easier. But I also felt like I had to keep saying that this wasn't true yet, or not true, it won't become true until June or July but even then. I think we have to be careful with how we talk about it. Because I think the leak could make us complicit and forget to fight against it? I don't even know.

I woke up and felt alright though. I wasn't sure about my outfit but I did like what I ended up wearing. I felt cute and tried to be positive about the day even if I was stressed and a little nervous about doing an overlap cannery. First ones are always scary.

James had the day off again. So I drove myself. I got every single red light on the way there. And people were driving very stupid. I was in line for breakfast for 10 minutes and then had to wait for hash browns because they weren't made yet. Ugh. I tried not to feel stressed but it took me almost 40 minutes to get to work. When it shouldn't even take 15.

But I wasn't even late. I was just in time. But also then I was very anxious. Thankfully Estelle and Del were both lovely and made me feel better.

There was some stress because of call outs and family emergencies. But also Jessica got us all bagels and that was really nice of her.

And really I'd don't need to be nervous or anxious about today because we had the most excellent group of kids. Just so stupidly sweet and kind. They were so on board and genuine and lovely. I could not have asked for a better group of kids.

I got them off the bus and we went to do roller coasters. And they had great questions and were a dream to lead. I didn't have to shout at all, we just got to laugh and have fun and that was just so nice. They struggled with the building a bit but they all were doing great teamwork and that was very cool to see.

We had our cannery next and my intro was a little mixed up but it was still fun! And really it was a good cannery. They were so easy to work with I literally had to stop and tell them that because it made my life so easy.

After the cannery I took them to lunch and I got scavenger hunt set up. And once they were done lunch I got them set up for the scavenger hunt and I went to go figure out a prize.

I decided it would be oyster beads and buttons. I went and chatted at the front desk with Beth, who is technically my boss I think. And we talked about me and James's wedding and James's bike being taken. I will probably take the GoFundMe down tomorrow or the next day. Because we basically raised all the money we needed to replace the bike but I want to double check with James first that everything for covered.

We would have a lot of oysters to clean but everyone else hasn't had a break so I was alone for a while listening to music and cleaning the oysters myself. Estelle and Kristen would join me and it was nice hanging out.

We finished up the day and I decided I wanted to go walk around the thrift store. I ended up finding two more candle sticks and a glass chicken. I also found a brand new squishmallow with their tag and everything. They are a purple donkey named Meadow. I love them.

I thought I would go home and see James before they left for their DND thing. But they got picked up a lot earlier by Benairen. But that okays.

I enjoyed my time out. I was mostly annoyed I didn't stop for food. I got home and decided I would use my time for something fun and also stupid.

I decided I would move the furniture.

I got it in my head to swap the shelf in my studio with the kitchen shelf. Why. No idea. But they are the same depth so I figured why not. It took like. 3 hours to take everything off and swap them. I enjoyed the process and it was fun and messy but good.

I had something to eat. And laid in the hammock after I vacuumed the dust from moving things around. I decided to clear out the drawers I had of makeup stuff so I could have those for kitchen things. And enjoyed a breeze from outside.

I took a bath. And read for a while. Fed Sweetp. And for worried about a thunderstorm. Asked James when they would be home.

It would still be a while. But that was alright. I just rested for a bit.

But James is home now. And I am ready to wind down for sleep. I hope you all have a great day tomorrow. Take care of each other. Goodnight!

[bethsuglywigs]

controversial opinion(s): beth loves rio, the s3/4 wig was the best wig, beth's blonde, rio is not nice to beth and was at least equally complicit in how 213 went down, rio loving his son is not the same as being a good parent, it's amazing and perfect that they never talked about any of their baggage and both silently decided that shooting each other is a romantic gesture actually, and the v end of s4 was the first time the power dynamic between beth and rio wasn't weighted wildly in his favor and had to happen for them to ever have a chance to build any kind of genuine relationship gloriously nightmarish as it will no doubt be thank you and good night

damn why are all these opinions so sexy and correct 

[controversial opinions]

Beth loves Rio - agree: this is just objectively correct

s3/s4 wig - agree (s1 wig stans dni)

Beth IS blonde - agree: Beth’s hair after the second half of s2 is the EXACT same color as my natural hair which is blonde. but even at its reddest in s1, it was still far more blonde than red. even describing it as strawberry blonde is pushing it. 

Rio is NOT nice to Beth - agree: i honestly dont know how this is controversial. they literally treat each other like shit. their relationship is toxic and bad. these are mean people being mean to each other. like???? that’s the appeal. 

2.13 - agree as written (even though i think Rio was written ooc in order to push Beth into shooting him)

Rio loving his son - agree: ive said it about both Dean and Annie before and it still applies to Rio even if he is sexy. plenty of bad parents love their children. it’s not enough just to love your child, you have to actually parent them to be a good parent. the fact of the matter is that we really don’t know much about how Rio parents. we know he’s loving and involved in his sons life, but we also know he’s absent a lot due to his work. i dont necessarily think rio is a bad parent (while i do think dean is a BAD father), but i agree that loving your child isn’t the same as being a good parent.   

shooting as a love language - agree: i hate communication and love chaos. though in someways i wish they fought a little more about the 2.13 shooting for the angst and drama. but honestly im OBSESSED with Beth knowing its real because Mick shot her in the arm... girl literally thought Rio ordered her shooting and her first though is fuck a fresh start with my friends and family! beth x rio 5ever! sad ill never see them betray each other again :(

power dynamic - agree: Rio has always had significant power over Beth and securing a position on the city council and them working together to oust Nick really changed their dynamic. I don’t think Beth and Rio could ever work until they reached some sort of equilibrium because Beth’s entire character arch was about finding her own power. The biggest issue in their entire relationship was Beth chaffing under Rio’s thumb and Rio being unwilling to relinquish any control.  

[twdmusicboxmystery]

TWD 11x14: The Rotten Core - First Analysis

Okay, I gotta apologize. I really didn’t get a post written for tonight. Just had a crazy weekend, so this is gonna be short and sweet. I’ll just go over some of the biggest things that stood out to me, and then I’ll do a much more detailed post for Tuesday.

 ***As always, spoilers for this episode abound below. Don’t read until you’ve watched!***

For all intents and purposes, the Toby situation is resolved, but of course this is going to end up causing trouble between the CW and TF, especially where Lance is concerned.

We learned that Annie and Negan are married and she’s expecting. I can’t decide if that changes the meaning of the template for me or not. Maybe it’s because it COULD, but it could go either way. I’ll talk more about that, later.

People have also conjectured about what it means for the Maggie/Negan spinoff. I can’t imagine anything that would pull Negan away from Annie, especially with her being pregnant. So, the way I see it, either she’s going to die, or perhaps she and Hershel will be kidnapped together and taken to the same place. That would make perfect sense for why Maggie and Negan go together. But on the other hand, they didn’t show us Negan and Annie’s relationship as it developed, which means they may not care if we’re super invested in it. that doesn’t bode well for Annie. But of course, we’ll just have to wait and see.

One of the biggest things that jumped out at me is the money aspect. It occurs to me that Sebastian “paid” Daryl for his work. I don’t know if Daryl and Rosita will actually take that money, or want to. Because so many people died trying to get it for Sebastian, it really is blood money.

I would love it if Daryl burned the cash as an homage to Beth, but that’s probably wishful thinking.

The thing is, even though they didn’t want to do it (get the cash for him), even though they protested, they still did it. In the end, Daryl and Rosita didn’t want to pay Sebastian, but Mercer made them. And even Mercer’s heart was in the right place. He obviously likes them (they’re all sympatico) and wants to help them avoid conflict. So, I’m not condemning anyone’s actions here overall. But when it comes right down to it, they still did it. And IF Daryl and Rosita take the money and use it, that veers from questionable into downright immoral, because people died to get that money.

So again, I’m not at all trying to impugn any of them. I’m not saying their turning into evil scumbags like Lance and Toby. But rather, the shadiness of the CW is kind of sneaking up on them. And by playing nice and becoming a part of the CW, none of which is inherently immoral, they’re becoming complicit to the immorality going on behind the scenes. And this is the arc these characters are currently going through, where they’re starting to compromise their morals, even if they aren’t totally aware of it. (Though again, I think this episode is where they started to become consciously aware of it.)

@galadrieljones​ theorized that Daryl taking off his armor in the garage when fighting walkers was him being his true self. I love that! I was trying to figure out what the significance of that was, too, and I think she hit it on the head. I actually think this is a deep theme they’ve been very subtly hinting at for a while, and we just haven’t picked up on it before.

So, let’s jump WAY back to our favorite episode, Still. In the golf club, we had the representation of the class system. I think we’re all on the same page about seeing the same thing here at the CW, and that’s very important.

We saw the moment where Daryl started gathering all this money and jewels into a bag. Beth even asks him why he’s keeping it, and we’re never given an explanation. We never get his thoughts on it. Sure, they come up with a function for the paper money when he uses it to burn the moonshine shack (again, I would love to see him burn Sebastian’s payment, not only because it would be a callback to Beth, but because it would kind of prove these parallels I’m laying out), but the jewels and other, non-paper money never served much purpose. They carried them around in Beth’s black bag for a bit and then they were left behind when she was taken.

So, the basic gist is this. I think the golf club, as we’ve said before, represents the CW. And not in the sense that the symbolism is the same, or they’re recycling arcs. But I think that literally the writers already knew exactly what would go down at the CW, what Daryl’s arc would be, and were specifically foreshadowing it at the golf club.

More specifically, I think the moment he scooped up all the jewels and money represents this exact thing: him taking money (sort of) for shady reasons. And again, that doesn’t make him a bad person. It just means he’s going through a thing.

The reason I said they’ve been subtly trying to bring it out is that some things Angela has said in the Insider portion kind of clicked for me. When we first saw Daryl and the kids at the CW, in the low-rent housing, she said Daryl is making his choices right now for the kids. As if to imply that, if not for the kids, he might choose differently.

So again, he’s doing it for the kids, for the good of the community, for his family. And this extends to all of them: Rosita, Carol, who wants to help Zeke, Aaron who wants Alexandria cleaned up, etc. They just haven’t entirely understood yet what the “cost” (another theme that ties back to Grady) will be for becoming part of the CW.

So, I do think @galadrieljones is right about Daryl’s armor. It represents Daryl shedding his false identity as a CW soldier and just being himself. Someone who fights walkers and tries to save people.

And if I’m right that the jewels in the golf club foreshadowed this, it just shows how close Beth is. (You can combine it with what I said last week about Daryl being a cop right now, too, which was foreshadowed by the “homicide detective” line in 4x01. We saw a lot more of the cop theme in this episode as well, but I’ll talk about that more tomorrow.)

I think I’ll stop there for tonight. Tons more to discuss, of course. So, I’ll do a much more detailed post for Tuesday. What did everyone else think of the episode?

[pynkhues]

It should be obvious, but do you think Beth realizes where Rio and all his anger are coming from? She knows what she did but still seems to act surprised by what he says. Like when she gave her speech why he needed all of them and he said no. It looked like she couldn’t believe he didn’t agree with her. and in the preview with the new just business where she looks hurt by those words. That she doesn’t mean more to him than that.Like she expects him to be over it already

I’m actually not sure it is that obvious to Beth, anon, and I think that for a few reasons.

So let’s unpack that a little! 

The Root of All Things

I think there’s a lot of confusion between them as to the root of Rio’s anger - namely that Beth thinks that he’s mad about the shooting, whereas I’m pretty sure that Rio’s still more angry about the fact that Beth broke up with him after sleeping with him in 2.09. I talked about it pretty extensively in this post, but the cliffnotes of it, haha, is the fact that Rio’s escalating and darkening behaviour didn’t start in 3.01, it started with sending her body parts in the post in 2.11. On top of that, we’ve had more textual and subtextual callbacks to 2.09 than we’ve had to 2.13, which is pretty directly underlining that scene in Beth’s bedroom as the emotional catalyst of the season. Again, read this post for more on all of that! :-)

Dis/honesty

While we might know that there are definitely feelings (whatever those feelings might be) swimming in the murky waters between them, you can’t exactly fault Beth for doubting it. 

Since their first break up in 1.09, Rio’s been pretty insistent that Beth isn’t anything to him, and while she’s pretty clearly not believed him now since at least 2.04, if not earlier, I think maybe she’s starting to. 

Rio abandoned her in 2.12 only to reveal he’d been on holiday with his son while she was about to be arrested for murder, and then told her she was nothing more than work, he cleared out his apartment without telling her in 2.13 and then kidnapped her, his explosion back into her life in 3.03 was deliberately about making a mockery of their former intimacy and humiliating her at the OBGYN. His language with Lucy before he killed her in 3.05 was both about telling Beth exactly what he was about to do - making her complicit - while also showing Beth she’d once been as naive and easy to manipulate as Lucy in a way that allowed him to re-write their history, and then in 3.07 again he told her she was just business. 

We know this is Rio lying to Beth and likely in no small part lying to himself, because everything else in the story is telling us otherwise, from the score to the framing, to the fact that he can’t kill her, to the fact that he continues to hear her out, to the fact that he continues to be insistent on blurring the line between work and domestic spaces (his infiltration of Paper Porcupine, robbing Beth’s home).

Still, Beth isn’t necessarily seeing that. What Beth’s seeing - over and over and over again - is Rio insisting that nothing between them is personal. 

Checks and Balances

With both of those factors in mind, I think Beth likely does think they should be past it. 

If Rio doesn’t have feelings for her, then it’s not personal, and if it’s not personal, Rio has punished her profoundly. He’s tried to murder her, and when that didn’t work, he humiliated her, stole her business and through that her autonomy and her freedom, murdered not only Beth’s ability to create work away from him, but a friend of hers, and now he’s robbed her and her children of everything in their home. 

He hasn’t shot her, but he’s done a lot to ‘put her in her place’ so to speak, and in that sense, I can absolutely understand Beth’s confusion as to why his anger is still so close to the surface, and why he seems so fixated still on punishing her. 

His anger is absolutely justifiable, but honestly, at this point, I feel like Beth has every right to be just as angry as him. I didn’t like Beth trying to get Max to shoot Rio as a story choice, but I can understand how Beth’s powerlessness, anger and coldness to him fueled that choice, particularly after Rio’s been so intent in his own vindictiveness while simultaneously pretending she doesn’t live rent free in his head. 

His lack of honesty, and their lack of communication has rendered them completely unable to address what happened at the end of s2 - either the break-up, the kidnapping or the shooting, and this season has really steadily been raising the stakes on that shaky foundation, and I feel like it’s only a matter of time before everything comes crumbling down for both of them.

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

Multiples of 6 for the OC asks!

AYYYYYYYYYY THANK YOU

i think for this one i’ll answer each question with three ocs for comparison >:V

(under the cut because, predictably, It Got Long)

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6. Do they smoke or do they hate smoking. 

(origfic, unnamed superhero verse)

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Neil: won’t touch cigarettes, but has been known to smoke a bowl every now and then when his anxiety gets the best of him. he doesn’t like doing it--he’s internalized some pretty negative shit about how it means he’s a trashy, weak-willed loser who can’t handle reality--but since meeting nads and then beth, he’s eased up a lot on the guilt and is able to relax more.

Nads: smokes cigarettes, but only if they’re stolen. she’s got an active lifestyle to say the least and she doesn’t want to risk fucking up her lungs, so that’s her compromise. my god does she love her weed though

Beth: smokes cigarettes to take the edge off her anxiety when she has to go outside during the day. she knows they’re worse for her than weed, but she’s wary enough of her liminal space powers without imagining what they might do if she got stoned.

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12. What’s an outfit they’d despise wearing Vs one they’d love wearing? Draw it! 

(Tales of Arcadia; i’m godawful at drawing clothes so i’ll just describe them as best i can ashdflkshdfkl)

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Liyen: loves comfortable, understated, professional-looking masc clothes, usually in muted shades of gray, blue, or black. give them a fuzzy turtleneck sweater and black pants and they’re happy. meanwhile they’d be SUPER uncomfortable in loud, clashing colors or anything too femme. 

Schommag: Does Not Like Clothes That Will Get in Her Way, also not a big fan of dressing femme with very few exceptions (the right Little Black Dress, for example). give her what she needs to get around the woods and stay out of her way. that said she does love showing off her muscles, so she wears a lot of tank tops and sports bras (and sometimes no top at all, if she can get away with it). 

Oryalv: VERY femme, particularly business casual. this man loves his pantsuits. meanwhile his nightmare is middle-aged high school coach aesthetic. put him in a t-shirt and khakis and he’ll start pouring smoke like a teakettle

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18. Have they ever committed a crime? How? Why? If not, then what’s their opinion on crime?

(origfic, unnamed VALENTINE DON’T DO THAT verse)

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Valentine: has been made complicit in a lot of their family’s cutthroat-noble shadiness growing up, is otherwise a law-abiding sort up until they jump off the slippery slope and get the war crime ball rolling in earnest. Whoops

Edmund: has gotten into plenty of cutthroat-noble shadiness of his own volition, thank you very much. unlike valentine he’s a whole lot more inclined to go UHHH and pull up when it comes to war crimes

Marcel: LOVES war crimes. LOVES them. would marry them if he could. lucky for him he’s captain of the guard and has plenty of opportunities. will otherwise use the law as a bludgeon but i don’t think he’s too bothered about it for its own sake

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24. Mcdonalds, subway, or KFC?

(Final Fantasy Tactics A2)

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Nebilim: subway, grease is sensory hell and makes him sick and it’s the easiest place to avoid it. the number of variables per sandwich make him anxious, but if he has to pick one then fuck it, it’s worth not putting grease in his body.  

Moovry: loves grease with all his somehow-still-functioning heart, would bring his own beer keg to KFC and refuse to leave til he’s finished his fourth bucket of chicken

York: MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS. gets the happy meal and then uses the toy to test their black magic minispells. we hardly knew ye, beyblade 

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30. Have they ever dreamed about another oc?

(Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance, taxidermy/doll horror cw)

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Faerna: has dreams about missing his mother sometimes. he hasn’t seen her in a long time, and for all he knows she thinks he’s dead, but he can’t bring himself to go back and look for her when he doesn’t know if she’ll approve of the life he’s chosen for himself. for all he talks himself up, not everyone’s happy to have a thief and a conman for a son.

SkekNev: has recurring dreams about the victims of their taxidermy coming back to life. less of a HOLY SHIT THE DOLLS ARE ALIVE nightmare for them, more of an anger/anxiety nightmare because stop that, stop having autonomy, i made you like this for a reason.

Aivne: dreams a lot about her little siblings. outright nightmares, semi-lucid rehearsals of danger scenarios, memories from before they lost their parents.

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36. If they’re nonhuman, what’s their opinion on humans?

(origfic, faeverse)

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Aislinng: vampire/incubus, more specifically A Dracula Lookin Motherfucker. depending on how much of a bastard he is in a given au, humans are usually somewhere between ‘fun to dazzle with my Supernatural Charms’ and ‘boring. where are the interesting people to torment’

Meadowsweet: rabbit faun. depending on which of the two wildly different versions of him we’re talking about, he either treats humans with the same goodwill as anyone else who might need his healing, or looks down on them and considers them fair game for whatever evil bastard he’s pining after this week.

Agaric: aislinng’s son with a forest spirit, so fuck if i know what to call him at this point. humans tend to find his brand of quiet, aloof awkwardness either offputting or endearing; either one is mortifying, and he’d mostly rather just keep to himself. 

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42. What’s their standpoint when it comes to washing hands?

(origfic, bumfuck nowhere cult)

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Cristina: obsessed with cleanliness, washes her hands constantly, crissy please you live in the desert

Skinner: if my hands are clean i can’t wipe them on cristina’s robes now can i

Rosemary: who needs to wash hands when you’ve got tentacles ;)

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48. If they were defeated fairly in battle, would they accept and move on or throw a fit?

(origfic, slasher movie slaughterhouse dimension)

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Maggie: will stay down and let you think she’s beaten, until you take your eyes off her for a second too long. then she’ll go for your hamstring

Dee: will accept it and move on, but will also try to make you feel like winning wasn’t really important anyway. maggie loves her dearly but she is kind of infuriating to everyone else

Esau: is delighted when somebody beats him, because if they’ve gotten that far they’ve committed at least one horrific atrocity and will have to live with that forever (if not embrace it). the real treasure was the corruption and PTSD we found along the way. no wonder maggie kind of hate-connects with him, he reminds her of dee lmao

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54. Have they ever lost anyone?

(misc origfic)

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Gray: lost the person who summoned them, gave them form, and taught them how to speak. once she died, all they knew was that she’d stopped coming, and that their only friend--their only contact with the world outside the cave--was gone. they’re there alone for a long time before a hitchhiker stumbles across them, and now they’re clingy as fuck and terrified of being abandoned again.

Ashdown: lost her wife the spring before her story begins, which left her so depressed she didn’t bother flying south for the winter with everyone else. she does eventually find love again, after coming to terms with the fact that what she’s lost isn’t the only thing she can ever have.

Jake: lost his older brother as a kid, which might or might not be why some fuck haunting their own fursuit recruits him to help with their unfinished business.

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[DYING WHEEZE]

thank you again for the questions!!! i have. so many ocs. SO many ocs, and it’s always fun to get a chance to trot a bunch of them out, especially with a good range of questions like these :D

[abbeyfangirl]

dragon age: all characters (companions)

I’ve been in this fandom for a hot minute now and I want to update my opinions on characters :)

Origins

Alistair: super sweet dude who literally is not the stereotypicalchantryguyfightme. He’s a great example of healthy masculinity and I totally wish he was bi because I have an entire essay on that— also: he’s a poc! His mum was brown. In game he’s got dark features. if you really want a blond/blue-eyes/white guy, make your warden that. or accept that brown people can be noble and moral. or just draw cailan, idk. just because BioWare whitewashes doesn’t mean you should.

Leliana: someone hug my singing girlfriend before I crush her under with my own hugs. Also: nugs. Yes! Shoes. Yes! She likes how I style my hair? YES!! I honestly think she’s super duper and it pisses me off whenever someone’s like: yeah she enjoys killing people and the Game. ok. and michel de chevin willingly participated in genocidal marches through the alienage he grew up in with his elvhen mum. 

Morrigan: dirty swamp witch that i stan and also have a v big crush on. tiddies. Have a son with a GW so we can raise him with our tiddies out in the forest. she’s also white-passing, as her father was chasind and all people we’ve seen that are chasind are black. therefore, she is biracial. therefore, poc can be goths and don’t shy away from giving morrigan a darker skintone. if the devs had of been thinking, she’d have a darker skintone.

Zevran: Actually is the best romance, I think. Loves consent, therefore I will stan him so hard my skull cracks a little. Also: he is a very brown boy and if he’s white in da4 I’m seriously going to throw all canon out the fucking window. genuinely a good person who needs to be told so. 

Wynne: grandma who only likes my friends who go to church. but also super sweet and I’d rest my head on her bosom (in a platonic way omg ZEVRAN)

Sten: angry quiet boi. the bestest boi. I totally would give him a kitten for a gift and bake him cookies. Thicc softie. I think if I had DA:O and i knew how to use mods i would mod the fuck outta him. sorry.

Sha(y)le: who’s gender? idk her. See also: fuck birds and authority. pound ur ass into the ground you feathery meatbag little shits. fuck songbirds.

Dog: such a good boi. thicc. thinks Alistair is a whiny fuck and is Morrigan’s only friend. love him. he’s the cutest companion. bet.

Ohgren: honestly forgot about him bcc he’s such a shitbag. also: he could’ve been a really cool addiction recovery type but NOPE. probably would have a trump shirt in a modern au and would catcall wlw and hit mlm. no thanks.

Awakening

Anders: he acts like rlly straight but he’s so gay I can smell it. also he’s rlly cute and fun and I love him so much.

Justice: MAYBE i’M selF CONSCious OF THE twitchING. is the friend that genuinely doesn’t get dick jokes but is ur 110% ride or die.

Nathaniel Howe: honestly is sort of a white knight/neck beard a little, but it’s kind of charming with his whole velanna m’lady?? grump boi. annoying soul patch that I’d mod out SO FAST—

Sigrun: would have ROMANCED the FUCK out of her. why she even entertains the idea of fucking with ohgren makes me realize most of the writers are dumbfucks.png. peppy little emo. 12/10 would die if she kissed my cheek teasingly.

Ohgren: why. why. why. I’d have brought Shayle over. Maybe Zev? Definitely Dog.

Velanna: she was written to be an annoying feminist and you can tell but I deadass am a kindred spirit with her bcc I too am deadpan annoyed with Thedas’ general population too. love her. Would’ve loved to romance her. She’d totally be one of those who’d get all tsundere and be like “n-no i hate you” *kisses the fuckin soul out of you then blushes so hard she’s now a tomato*

Dragon Age II

Anders: fuck the cops. i don’t care. fuck the cops. (vine reference). also: do i hate him for blowing up the chantry that would eventually annul a huge collection of his people? no. read dalishious’s meta on Anders. v intriguing. didn’t they retcon the fuck out of the reported deaths too? like there was like eight Templars and Elthinia in there. Templars killed more “abominations” in a day than Anders in the game canon—

Aveline: initially thought she was fine and then realized she’s shit to my lil brother and I will fucking clap her ginger ass. See also: whorephobia isn’t a joke so fuck off with treating Isabela badly, you tit.

Bethany: sunshine. Literal sunshine. I feel my freckles grow in her presence and i love it. she’s my little baby sister and I’d slam that ogre so fuckin hard before it touched either twin.

Carver: there has to be a mod where both twins survive. I love them both to bits. My babies. carver is my bitter, angry little brother and I can relate because I too am very angry and would totally clap my own ass. hes so genuine and I don’t get the competition between Beth and Carver. Like, both are fuckin stellar in different ways. In this essay I will—

Fenris: honestly, I don’t get the general hate between him and Anders. Fenris’ main arc should’ve been a recovery arc, not drunken moping and revenge. he deserves better. give him a soft sweater instead of his spikes and let him love himself as much as I love him for MAKERS SAKE. like when you really think about their relationship, it could’ve been an eye-opener for fenris and finally some legit sympathy for anders. but we all know that if they had of teamed up that Meredith would’ve been dead before the end of Act 1 so.

Isabela: whorephobia is not a joke. oversexualizing your only appearing brown woman is so poorly written. how about we appreciate her and her lovely bosoms but also let people tease her about her heart of gold? her innate understanding of freedom? instead of just a wave of dick? please?? can we give her some pants for when she fights? can we accept that i fall for rogues who hate themselves?? fuck. also whomever draws her x femHawke x Merrill literally is after my own heart.

Merrill: my fucking babygirl MARRY ME. Fenris could’ve been her older brother type, but NO. she and Isabela should’ve been canonical gfs instead of Isabela/Fenris (no shaming the pairing tho!!). I love how she’s written as neurodivergent. V nice. Sometimes I just look her up and cry because she’s fucking everything. Also: she’s in the Dalish origin and she’s far from being white. Why did they make the most innocent/naïve character really white? hmmmm.

Sebastian: whew that boy. Would totally be that annoying Mormon at your door but you still let him in bcc he’s super sweet. Also: huge ass bible thumper and should get his head slap because you said the maker loved all his children why do you defend a complicit old hag you annoying attractive fuck—

Varric: totally is a bard and the devs couldn’t handle the idea of him being one bcc it might make him look less straight. is the only grey morality person I don’t want to fucking bash in with a fry pan. he sees people and I like that, but you totally know he’s siding with mages every time bcc him and Anders are like besties. I’m sorry. I don’t make the rules. “Professional Younger Brother”.

Tallis: I know nothing about her but she seems okay. I think she was an escaped slave and honestly? Fucking props. Spy on a shitting organization, idk what you’re doing, but your VA was that cool lesbian from SPN so I think ur okay?

Inquisition

Blackwall: Redemption Arc 101. Love him to bits. Sad dad bunwall. good man. actually atoned for his sins by actively becoming a good person. his initial design is 80% hotter im so sorry but so not.

Cassandra: was way browner in the last game. would romance the fuck outta her. I love me a butch lady who melts at my dorky recitation of poetry. BioWare is a coward. also is the worst choice for divine. but not a bad person. could use some more guidance or get her ass whipped by a dalish elf about religion or a circle mage kid whos like “yeah bud i didn’t ask for the templars to whip my ass everyday for existing.”

The Iron Bull: I think the Qunari/Vashoth were a little based off black people (the whole anti blackness thing where ppl are scared of them bcc of whatever reason) and it pisses me off that he had a weird ass dubcon thing with Dorian in banter. It doesn’t make sense— he’s an A+++ dom and would not jump straight in role play without at least checking in at first like wtf BioWare.

Cole: his mother was chasind so he’s like not supposed to be that white? or like biracial? albino? idk. love him to bits tho. He’s neurodivergent and I deadass love him. romancing him? idk. I see why ppl think it’s fuckin nasty but also like as a writer I’d age him the fuck up so fast before my inquisitor even THOUGHT about that. like idk. I’m down with him being a sweet little bro character tho. he’s a babe. love him.

Sera: had the worst fucking writer I’ve ever seen and I willingly read the twilight saga twice by a shit ass racist white lady who okay’d pedophilia. like. Fuck you Kristjanson suck your own dick you fuck. had the worst options in regards to speak to her. has a thicc case of internalized racism that literally most of the fandom just loves to use against her. my lesbian neurodivergent queen. Would write a thousand fix it fics for her. Love her to bits. im gay.

Varric: I haven’t played DA2 so i don’t get why everyone wants to romance him but like. a dwarf romance? yes please. Idk he reminds me of my uncle so I only see him as fun uncle material. Deadass should adopt Cole and Merrill and co parent with Blackwall for Sera. dads? fuck yeah. love me some wholesome, present fathers.

Dorian: is a gay stereotype that I love/hate so much. and he’s also just as bad about being a creep bcc he sexualizes qunari men (in banter). I attribute that to shit writing tho. I want to protect him from all the “omg gay best friend!” people. he’d clearly be that tired gay that wouldn’t give a diddly damn about ur het romance. wanna talk about politics? he’s ur guy/gay.

Solas: “me, an intellectual:”. I don’t hate him, but I’m not about him. He comes off as mysterious and suave (which he totally is) but I deadass would not save him from himself because he’s a racist, exclusionist eggshell. idk. not my cup of tea, but I can totally see the appeal. And he’s interesting, I’ll totally say that. “I think the Dalish are garbage but they made you” is not a compliment. it’s so offensive. and such bait for “quirky girls��� which I’m no fan of. Would be Achilles and let Patroclus (Lavellan in his case) die before he realized how his pride is literally a waste of time. If he gets a redemption arc I hope Lavellan gets to slap him before getting him to teach all about ancient Arlathan and show that the Evanuris weren’t all total dicknozzles. (Aka I really have a hard time believing that they’d be slavery cult things. especially since they’ve compared elves to indigenous ppl, Jews and the Romani.)

Vivienne: it’s so racist that they’d make a black woman be pro-slavery. That’s such internalized racism. She could’ve been the cool ass “educate yourself first before you speak, fool” ice lady, but NO. the devs could’ve kept the “Templars are a tool that I proudly can mandate” and the “circles are very good education” and we. Could. Have. Romanced. Her. Like. Fuck. Sake. I just wanna give her a hug and say “love yourself omg!!” and not even in a romantic way. Also: she and morrigan should not have been so antagonistic towards each other. I’d expect them to have great respect for each other, as they both moved up in the world through hardwork and very little help. They could learn different magic from each other too and still maintain that rival respect “oh you” mood. Sidenote: probably the cooler option for Divine. if her approval is high enough she’ll love and be loyal to you forever and i can’t see her agenda being bad. she improves the circles exponentially and tells all the antis to suck her pretty painted toes.

Josephine: an actual disney princess. romanced her my first playthrough. I love her so much. she just makes me so happy. And she’s like: “Integrity, Loyalty, peace. That is what it means to be a GREY WARDEN good fucking person.” she’s the person who would let you hold her hand if you got anxious and she’d be that person who shouldered the whole group project with finesse and poise and would probably lie for everyone as to not be mean. i love josie. her and leliana’s relationship is so cute, too. whether it’s romantic or not: women supporting women.

Leliana: if you leave her hardened you must hate her. why. she becomes so against herself. i like how shes feminine and lighthearted because that’s so powerful-- to remain hopeful when the world is hopeless. (its hard to know when to soften her/harden her so i get it but. google it. she deserves to be happy and sweet again.)

Cullen: uwu war criminal with shit ass “redemption arc” that was actually a half-assed (at BEST) recovery arc. Recovery isn’t linear, it isn’t pretty, and even the broken need to be told they are wrong in order to heal right. Like I’m offended by that bullshit. I’ve had to do some mental health recovery in the past and unlearning lots of toxic ideologies— which I’m still unlearning— and it bothers me that he gets an easy pass because he’s hot. It’s one thing if you like Cullen, it’s another thing if you hold him accountable.

[comeallyelost]

The Handmaid’s Tale 3x11 Thoughts

THT is finally picking up and I am split between being super excited and just generally frustrated that they had all these filler episodes with barely any movement for the majority of the season. But anyway, he are my thoughts on the main storylines of this ep:

1. Commander Winslow and the attempted rape scene

Okay this whole sequence was exceptional and exactly the catharsis I argued this season was in dire need of. June's narration of "treating it like a job" and the way she kept faltering in her delivery and in trying to convince herself one more time was fuckin A+ right there. 

June's actions in this scene were reinforcing the opening of the episode when Eleanor had Joseph at gunpoint. June told Eleanor "We all could have done something." In this scene, at this time, she DID something. It's inherently tied to post-Gilead June. More so post-death-of-Natalie June. She's refusing to remain complicit. At this point, she has nothing left to lose. I read a post earlier about how this scene and how THT in the past has glorified the idea of sexual assault victims fighting back and about how that should not be celebrated as a way to deal with sexual violence because that option is almost never available. But I'd argue that Moira, Emily, and now June in fighting back had/have very real consequences to face. And in all of their cases, they fought back at times when they'd reached their lowest point. In S1, Moira was resigned to a short life at Jezebel's until she found June again and June had told her that Luke got out. For Emily, she had just been mutilated by Gilead and took direct action against the regime by running over the guardian. Later with Aunt Lydia, Lawrence was able to get her out before she could face any consequences. 

Gilead drove them to become these people, but not before they had been worn down to the point that they decided for themselves there was no worse punishment than the existence they had already resigned themselves to. And the only one of the three who has not suffered a direct consequence for her actions has been Moira thus far (because she made it out). Emily was shipped to the Colonies after her outburst. And people are most certainly coming after June. The Marthas may have bought her some time, but she is not in the clear.

All I’m arguing is that these three characters’ actions in regards to fighting back is, within the context of the narrative, believable and--yes, for me--celebrated by the audience who has witnessed them be raped and beaten down over and over and over again. Our heroes have triumphed in a small way and that’s what we’re here for. We’re rooting for them. Mind you, they have not triumphed without consequence or repercussions. And I, as an audience member, am not expecting this to be the norm in situations of assault in the series, but its their spirit of resistance, of resilience that’s shining through that I am happy to see on screen. And also, its their stories that are getting told. The stories of the survivors of Gilead and how they made it through.

Now, I don’t know that the victims of sexual assault in this series will get the screen time they deserve regarding working through their trauma. Just like the racism issue on this show, this could be handled much better. It just might be the case that the coping/recovery aspect won’t ever be addressed. Or it might be that in the midst of all that is happening in Gilead at the moment, in order to survive, June is dealing with the here and now and won’t be able to cope with her issues until she’s out. We caught a glimpse of what it was like for Moira and Emily as survivors of Gilead. Granted, it was not nearly enough, but hopefully that’s something the writers will build on.

SO

Despite all of the above, I am torn between the relief and catharsis this scene gave me and the show’s complete and utter lack of exploration of Commander Winslow’s character. Like, YAY the fucker is dead and he died in the most satisfying way the audience could have asked for. But he was supposed to be a villain this season, no? THT had it all set up and then left his character on the back burner. What was gonna come of his relationship to Fred? What was his role in all of the extradition stuff. I’m just so frustrated with this wasted potential. And I legit thought for a second there in 3x06 that they hinted at him being sexually into Fred. 2.  The Waterfords

Perfect, wonderful, the arrest scene is the scene we all needed at least four episodes ago. And I loved how Tuello was super no-nonsense about it and straight up just grabbed Fred the second he was in Canada. My only qualm with this whole thread is why did it take so long with nothing of substance filling in the time? Like, the story could have moved forward so much faster. 

Serena is up to something, I know she is. I really wasn’t sure if she set Fred up or if she was trying to work something out with Tuello and it all just went to hell. She is just as much a war criminal as Fred is so I’m curious to see how this plays out and what kind of deal she struck/will strike with Tuello. 

The only reason I’d suspect she set Fred up is because their whole trip played out like a long goodbye where they relived their greatest hits and spoke a lot about the what-ifs of their lives. But to my knowledge she still wants the baby back doesn’t she? Did the whole enforce-the-Ceremony thing really change her mind AGAIN? Like, bitch lost her damn pinky finger and she bounced back from that? When not long before being de-fingered she helped Fred to rape June? Whatever she’s up to, I honestly hope she suffers for her actions as well.She doesn’t deserve Tuello’s treason and coconuts.

3. June, the Marthas, and her crusade

Ngl, I'm getting really excited for a mass exodus of children from Gilead. I'm still iffy on the whole setup of it, because again, June has no reason to be spearheading any of this. Especially if the Marthas already have something in place. It feels like they acquiesced too quickly in that scene in the Lawrence basement. But June's attitude of "it has to work" and getting Lawrence in line  and later that Billy guy to agree to her plan was pretty great. 

I think the believability factor is hindered by the fact that she is working alone. Like, yes, she’s trying to get all these moving pieces to work together, but even though she has the character traits of a leader and we’ve seen that for the most part she has not relinquished her sense of power despite her position, orchestrating a move like this doesn’t realistically happen over the course of a few days and persuading a couple of people. It’s looking too easy given how damn complicated so many other things in Gilead have been. It’s like another version of convenient plot armor. 

But also shoutout to the Marthas for their badassery!

4. Other thoughts: - Next week’s trailer we FINALLY have some Canada scenes.Seeing Luke also made me realize how much I miss the flashback scenes too :(

- I’m liking Commander Lawrence more and more each ep and I low-key loved the fact that he raided all the art museums lmfao

- I feel like Beth’s character is being wasted. Why can’t we know more about her and what she gets up to? I like her.

- Also where are Alma and Janine? Weren’t they helping?

There’s only 2 eps left and I feel like there is way too much ground to cover for there to be a satisfying ending for all the characters. Sigh.

[bobasheebaby]

Buried by the Ashes

Pairing: Beth, Liam, Bastien

Word count: 1,069

Warnings: angst, tw mentions of rape

Summary: Battered and broken and left behind Beth Talbot has a choice to make.

A/N: This came into my head and won't leave me alone. This is dark people. I tried to gloss over as much as I could but, it's still dark. This isn't our Liam, so please keep that in mind. Thanks to @mrsnazario1223 for giving me the courage to write and post this.

Let me know if you want to be tagged!

Beth felt hurt and betrayed when Liam chose Madeline instead of her, had the moment in the hedge maze been all a lie? He told her he loved her, she believed him, but then he wanted more, and she couldn’t give it to him. He wore a look she didn’t recognize when she told him no, but how could she explain she couldn’t, not after… no that wasn’t something she’d allow herself to think about. All it did was bring her pain.

She was dragged out of the ballroom because of a lie, a hurtful embellishment of the truth making her look like she was complicit in what had happened. She wept as she packed her bags Bastien standing by her being the ever diligent guard. He guided her to the waiting car with a gentle hand, one that didn’t make her want to jump away. He helped her in and he looked at her with such kindness and understanding she wondered if he could possibly know the truth.

His orders were to send her back to New York, but he couldn’t, he knew there was more to those pictures, but he needed her to stay to prove it. He sent her to the Beaumont estate instead, he knew the Beaumont brothers would keep her safe. He would check on her periodically and ensure she was alright, she had such fear on her face when the guards removed her from the ballroom, he wondered…. No not her, he made sure he wasn’t overbearing when dealing with her, letting her know she was in charge. The fear was no longer in her eyes as he sent her off to somewhere he knew she’d remain safe, the sadness remained but he also saw hope.

Beth was surprised the first time Bastien had showed up at the Beaumont estate, she wondered if Liam had sent him to make sure she was ok, maybe Liam hadn’t lied to her. The more time she spent with Bastien the more she felt safe and comfortable with him, she felt maybe he was someone she could trust. The days she spent with Bastien she felt safe and freer, but at night when she was alone in her bed with her thoughts she sank back into the dark place.

She had been all alone, no one could hear her cries, her pleas for him to stop. She had kicked and clawed at him, trying anyway that she could to get him off of her, she screamed and shouted into an empty void. When he finally left her alone in her room, she hugged her knees to her chest, she wondered what she had done to make him think she wanted him. She wondered if she had done something to lead him on, if she did something to deserve it. She cried herself to sleep, she still cries herself to sleep every night. The worst was the night of the coronation, someone had taken pictures, they made it look like she wanted it, Tariq had fled the day after. She needed to prove that this was done to her.

When Maxwell and Bertrand arrived back at the estate Bertrand was fuming that she would even think of coming back there, telling her she should go back home. She cried so hard, couldn’t he see that it wasn’t what it looked like? It was when Bertrand had stormed off that Maxwell had finally spoke, all he wanted to know was why she had done it to Liam. She finally had no choice but to tell someone, she told him what happened that night, he looked at the photos again and he finally could see the truth in the photos. Maxwell had explained to Bertrand who was now determined to find Tariq and get him to tell the truth of what he had done to Beth. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for the world to know, but she needed Tariq needed to admit to his wrongdoing.

Three days before they were to return to court she finally had the nerve and felt she could trust him, she told Bastien. The anger that filled his eyes should have scared her, but it didn’t. Bastien had been furious when Beth told him the truth behind the photos. He had thought they seemed to be a little off and he started to look into them, but he never thought that someone would use photos of something so horrific to keep her from marrying Liam. He vowed to ensure no one would ever hurt her again, he was realizing that he was no longer coming to simply ensure she was safe, he felt comfortable when he spent time with her. For her, for his own peace of mind he’d make sure nothing bad ever happened to her again.

When Beth had returned to court she had expected Liam’s eyes to be filled with sorrow after Bastien told him the truth, instead she was met with a mixture of shock and anger. Surely he believed Bastien when he told him the truth behind those photos. She felt her heart break and sadness pull her back deep into its depths at the look she received from Liam. She once again started to doubt his sincerity, but she couldn’t leave, she needed to find out who set her up and make them pay.

Liam had just wanted one last fling, he never expected Maxwell to fly her back to Cordonia to compete in the social season. He never expected Beth to wow everyone, the press, the people even his own father. Everyone was pushing him to chose the mysterious girl from New York, but in truth he didn’t want Beth. He had his eyes on someone he knew would make a good Queen for Cordonia, he knew Beth could maybe figure things out, but the chances were she couldn’t. He knew it was wrong, but he knew he had to do something to ensure she couldn’t be chosen. He hadn’t counted on her sticking around trying to clear her name, and he hadn’t counted on her having help.

She looked so sad and broken, wondering what she had done to deserve such treatment, she wanted to get to the bottom of things. He knew he needed to stop her from uncovering the truth, his plan would only work if no one knew it was him. He would continue to do whatever it took to keep his country safe and keep her from finding out the truth, even continuing to play the part.

From the Wolves Masterlist

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[alwaysalreadyangry]

due south: the ladies man (redux)

In the fall of 1998, I was a student of Derrida’s in his seminar at The New School for Social Research, “Justice, Perjury, and Forgiveness.” Despite the ambitious title, Derrida’s singular focus that semester was forgiveness. He was particularly interested in the notion that to be pardoned or forgiven is only actually meaningful in the face of the unpardonable, the unforgivable. To forgive someone for a minor mistake, or to say “pardon me” when accidentally bumping into a stranger on the street, is perhaps a nicety, a well-meaning mannerism or gesture, but where forgiveness is really needed — where it actually changes human relations — is where (and when) it is given to the unforgivable. In this way, the power of forgiveness depends upon the unforgivable.

Since then, I have maintained a correlated interest in the acceptance of the unacceptable, in the toleration of the intolerable, pairings that indicate a deeper problem; deeper in the sense that humans regularly accept the unacceptable (unlike forgiving the unforgivable). People regularly accept theoretically changeable facts of the world that are, even by their own accounts, totally unacceptable. Adjustments and acquiescence to unhappiness and dissatisfaction are common expectations of a practical life of “doing what one has to do,” and yet, it remains a basic ethical instinct to say that we should not accept a life that does us and others real measurable harm — at home, at work, in school, in society. And yet we regularly do. We do, that is, until there is a revolt against the unacceptable, against the intolerable.

richard gilman-opalsky, specters of revolt

this is an interesting section in the introduction to the book i’m reading. the book is mostly about revolt and its possiblities -- both the possibility of revolt haunting the capitalist world, but also the possibilities of what revolt can do.

but i think there’s something interesting in this passage -- and as someone who really struggles with derrida that’s not something i expected to find myself saying. after these two paragraphs, gilman-opalsky starts talking about revolt. which i am also interested in. but i do find myself thinking about the moments before. all the unforgivable moments before. before revolt; when revolt is a ghost, a potential body rather than a real physical force. and then i also think a lot about the idea that forgiveness given to the unforgivable has the power to change human relations.

which all relates back to my meta on what the ladies’ man in due south says about law enforcement and the US “justice system”.

because the bit i was struggling with the reading of the most was: the scene between beth botrelle and ray kowalski at the end of the episode. it’s not that i found it hard to reconcile it with the rest of the episode; on an emotional sense i understand why that scene is there. it’s about the system, not him. she understands... and also, it’s him facing a final, impossibly hard emotional truth. and... it’s ray giving the crime scene back to her, and making it back into a personal tragedy. or the scene of the crime done to her.

but on a craft sense; or on an ideological sense, i wondered exactly what the final embrace between them was saying. ray apologising multiple times; beth botrelle hugging him, and kissing him on the cheek. it’s a brutal, beautiful moment; why?

so i’ve been talking with @zielenna about this episode, and one of the other things that came up was the way in which it talks about masculinity, but especially through this very male police hierarchy. all of the cops around and especially above ray are men. the woman he has to fight to exonerate and her lawyer are both women -- and this is not a coincidence. no, it’s very much about patriarchal systems... the patriarchal arm of the state and the ways in which masculinity & homosocial relations are used to keep men in line, to keep them as enforcers of it.

there’s something also interesting that the dead guy is a male cop -- and a male cop who is named, in the episode’s title, as a “ladies’ man”. no, not a ladies’ man. he was “the ladies’ man”. there’s something there about virile masculinity, about how men admire other men who treat women badly.

and so when ray dissents from the ways in which the basic instinct of the police force is to cheer the woman’s execution, to bray for her blood (dewey operates here as a stand-in for the force at large) -- there is a sense in which that can be seen as a rejection of these structures of male power. by which i don’t mean that i’m reading ray as a radical feminist. but if we’re thinking about human relations, and the act of changing them at a time of emergency (and this episode is absolutely about a state of emergency), then it bears teasing out. he is absolutely rejecting a system of male power and personal relationships that intersect with and help strengthen this power. 

this episode gives us a male mentor for ray kowalski, who up until now has had very little past beyond his family and ex-wife. a workplace mentor; a mentor who pretends to be supporting ray as a friend, but is actually out to save his own skin and consolidate his own power, his own power-network. 

this is important; it shows us the figure of ray in a long line, in a huge interconnected network of men who will let this sort of thing happen. and it also shows the ways in which personal relationships between men will be used to strengthen this network; and the ways in which women and those who are outside and marginalised by the network... can and will be crushed by it.

ray’s only one link; when he consciously shatters that link, the network doesn’t fail. but he is able to save one person, in the face of this huge monolith.

so, let’s look at beth botrelle. in the first scene we see her in, her lawyer reinds her that she does not have to see ray. she can turn him away. not only does she choose to see him -- she insists that it’s alone, one-on-one. no lawyer, no fraser. it’s a personal connection. two people who can’t forget each other; and two individuals in a system that’s out to crush one using the other.

then there’s this:

Beth: So, you're looking for forgiveness? [Ray still does not meet her eyes.] Ray: Is that what you think?

ray does not ask for forgiveness. she doesn’t give it. what she does do is try to give him some kind of easy absolution, or a way to clear his conscience. “any cop could have taken that call,” she says. but ray knows that. and then she tells him that she killed her husband; and as soon as she says it, ray is certain that it’s not true. so she hasn’t given him absolution, or forgiveness. in lying, she has given him the truth -- or some portion of it.

let’s contrast this with the end of their final scene:

Ray (softly): I'm sorry. Beth: No. Ray: I am. I'm so sorry. Beth (tearfully): No. [She cups his face with one hand, then kisses his cheek.] Beth: Thank you, Officer Kowalski. [They embrace.]

there is one constant; beth botrelle is saying “no” when ray apologises, taking the responsibility upon himself. this isn’t so different to the way she tries to absolve him earlier. only, in the earlier scene she gives him all the cop platitudes she knows from her husband -- anybody could have taken that call, don’t let it wear on you. she lies. she is all give, willing him to take what she’s offering.

but it’s false; ray hasn’t done anything to earn it. he doesn’t take it; he can’t take it. she is the prisoner, and he is the cop. she’s an incarcerated woman, he’s the man whose role as a cop put her there. and not only is she incarcerated, she’s being touted everywhere as a “cop-killer” -- the people the system hates the most, because they have targeted the officers of that very system. even if, as beth botrelle didn’t, they did no such thing. despite beth asking that they be alone together, they can’t change the nature of their relations to each other.

in the final scene, everything has changed; except nothing that happened to beth has been taken away or removed. she still lived through an atrocity; she still had eight years of her life stolen from her. and that is -- unforgivable. both in the basic sense that it’s an awful, unimaginable thing that has happened to her. that has been done to her. but it is also unforgivable in the sense that she can’t forgive it; it’s impossible to grasp the totality of it, and all of the different people and systems and -- nodes in the network of power that created her fate. she can’t forgive it because they are not all there, it’s impossible to face them all. and it’s also unforgivable, specifically with ray kowalski, because he was one part of the larger system which failed her -- and not all of it. he is complicit, but he is not the root of the corruption.

does this make sense? i find myself doing that old essay trick of looking up the different, interconnected meanings of the word “forgive”. forgiving debt, giving up resentment towards -- and then. to pardon an offender.

because beth was thought to be an offender; she wasn’t one. because it’s the system and the state that can forgive offenders, and beth is a victim (a survivor) of the state’s violence. because ray did not commit an official offence against her; because those that did (the higher-up law enforcement officials) are not there. for all of these reasons, too, she is not able to forgive ray. because of the systems they exist within; because of the systems that shape their lives, and how they relate to each other.

and also just because of the unimaginable, horrifying scope of what was done to her, the way in which her life was destroyed.

so what does she do? she thanks ray. she kisses his cheek. she embraces him. this is not the words “i forgive you” -- and in fact, in the use of the repeated “no” we see her trying to absolve, rather than forgive. the idea that you have nothing to be sorry for equals i don’t need to forgive you.

but the first thing she thought ray was there for was forgiveness. and the last thing she does is she thanks him, and embraces him. a gesture of love; a gesture that nobody could have expected, a gesture that nobody outside the situation could perhaps easily understand.

so, i’m not a derridean, and if you’ve made it this far then you’ve probably guessed that? i’m not good with theory and i’m sure the phrase “human relations” has had a lot written about it (without even getting into the idea of forgiveness). but i’m not backing out from this now. in this passage, we see derrida’s ideas that forgiveness matters most in the face of the unforgivable; that this is when it is a radical act that can change human relations, which i read as relations between humans.

is her thank you and embrace -- forgiveness? is it absolution? does one have radical power that the other does not? or do both have a radical power in the face of all that has come before this moment? we have seen ray splintering the network that he was part of, that other male cops were trying to coerce him to remain committed to. and here he is, to a certain extent, cut loose from that. he is a person, again. alone with another person. 

knowledge of the past power relations haunt this scene -- and of course there is still a power imbalance between them, even now. things have changed, but they have not changed enough. ray did all that he could; he is no longer slumped over in a chair in a prison. he has done something. he has changed something.

and it’s not enough -- because nothing could be enough. forgiveness is impossible. but in the face of the power relations that both hold them still, and haunt them, we see a radical act; an embrace. tenderness. halting, emotional honesty -- contrasting with the comforting lies she tells in the earlier scene. in the face of this system, which can perhaps only be saved by its total destruction, by revolt, by a radical, collective act -- this is what can be done to change power relations. an embrace. a few words. it’s not quite forgiveness; he still does not ask for forgiveness. he does not ask; she bridges the gap. personal tenderness; two people, who are trying to live as best as the world will let them. who are trying not to be defined by the roles in which their relative positions of power would have them. embracing in a way that is not about desire, or about one person’s power over another; embrace as transmission of emotion, empathy, understanding. when i started writing this, i thought it was forgiveness. i don’t think it is forgiveness; i don’t think it’s less of a gesture on beth’s part for that. because --

it’s not enough, and it’s not enough. of course it’s not enough; between two people in this situation, enough is not possible. between any amount of people in this situation, enough is not possible, because the atrocity was already committed. what is so upsetting, the reason why ray cries, is because her tenderness with him is not justified, is not reasonable. the maybe-forgiveness, the attempted-absolution. she can’t give it; and yet she gives it, or something like it. ray has done all that he can, and he does not deserve what she is giving him in return. what she is giving -- an act of love -- is radical in a way that he can’t answer in kind. which is why it’s so beautiful, which is why it’s so sad.

ray can’t be forgiven because he’s not responsible; and he can’t be forgiven because he was complicit. it’s a double-bind. and in the face of that knowledge; love. understanding. thank you. gratitude. 

at the end, it’s gratitude. what is gratitude? kind words said, in earnest, in response to an imbalance -- in response to kindness, specifically an act of kindness which creates an imbalance between two parties. but here, the imbalance is insurmountable. the gap is so wide. it can’t be breached

the words fly tenderly across that gap anyway. thank you.

and so we have ray crying in his car -- we return to that image again. and of course there is so much more to be said about masculinity; about the ways in which it has been shed, and changed by ray’s relationship with beth. this is what a change in human relations means, this is what it can look like. so i have to end on it. ray, sobbing, unconsoled. 

what is unforgivable cannot be forgiven; but that doesn’t mean it’s not a radical act to try.

[astralworld-blog1]

Donald Marshall (March 29, 2013) - Get on it,... Badger and harrrass the government about human cloning and Vrill lizards and hosts and MY NAME!!! They want you to... they await the catalyst that will start the ball rolling... I will not be jailed or anything... don't worry about it...

they just don't want panic, and chaos.... they have a plan to proceed... get rid of vrill lizards and drones... they just don't want loss of order rioting looting,... public panic will ruin everything.

I am here to ensure they don't bullshit. You will not get a sugarcoated bs story from me,... just truth. Always... heavy times people heavy times...

trust that I dont want fame or money,... also trust I am not going along with some seedy plan of theirs... I refuse to go along with project Camelot,... you'll get the truth and only that... but people gotta act.

I'm one man. I'm just a rat people. take advantage of it.

it will even reduce racism... unite against the lizards and its human for human... black white peurto rican... least yer not a vrill or a host... leads to the golden age of man...

yes it is that time... and I'm forced to be that guy...

don't squander this chance... lol Britney Spears is praying that I'm successful... they all are...

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Donald Marshall (March 2013) - Must spread info, then many people demanding answers can't be ignored, once 5 independant lie detectors are applied to me and relatives of mine all will be clear, the Canadian or U.S military eventually will have to perform a coup (military takeover) and interim government set to stand in while replacements are elected. Then people are going to have to be tested on a grand scale. To see if they're parasited hosts. The underground bases will have to be infiltrated and most destroyed, as they link to tunnels underneath where the Vrill lizards are.

Tom Berchenbriter - lets get it all mapped out

Donald Marshall - in the spreading info stage. It's only spreading.

the celebrities stuck there pretending to be friends with Elizabeth and Vladamir and them are hoping I'm successful sooner than later,... but they're not going to help because they're chicken shit little bitches lol.

Mary-Beth Hallen - They may be chicken shit but they are also sitting pretty.

Donald Marshall - true, they want out though, just at no risk to themselves.

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Donald Marshall (Sun. April 14, 2013) - The government wants you to demand answers. Force their hand........ THEY WANT YOU TO !!

Michelle Ray - lmao...they WANT us to rise up so they can justify martial law...."they" are just aching for a reason

Donald Marshall - no they want letters emails people demanding answers consistantly to the point that they cannot ignore,... NOT throw rocks through the government buildings windows. you know what I mean.

cant institute martial law because they get thousands of letters wondering about cloning and lizards they cant ignore if it is consistent and numerous people....they want you to............you dont understand. they need the excuse so lizards dont bite the shit out of them as clones for exposing themselves.

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Donald Marshall (Tue. June 4, 2013) - They are literally trying to get the public to demand answers EN MASS TO SAVE THEM FROM THE SECRET OF VRILL (btw not yelling at you) but they can't say outright or they fear being killed or replaced or eaten by vrill clone by clone. They want to shut down. But they are using me... It's why my Facebook page hasn't been deleted

They just want assurances there won't be panic and catastrophe. See there is some law about trying to invite a panic with hoaxes and another similar law,... Some people mail the government aaand police trying to get me in trouble. They're surprised when I don't get arrested lol n believe me now lol They're gonna shut down. Don't stress too bad.

Should all work out smooth sailin from the sound of things. People ARE gonna flip out when they hear about it. Some old people gonna have heart attacks. People gonna have nightmares. But those lizards r gettin wiped.

Cloning outlawed. It's not good for nothin. Can't even use the organs for transplant. Rejection. Not viable at all No use

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Donald Marshall (October 2013) - i need people concentrating on cloning vrill and the implant chips... main probs,... stop them and chemtrails stop mk ultra stops gmo monsanto stops and rothchilds and everything ends... root of the problem. cut the head off the dragon... easiest way because there is no time.

purpose is... kill off drones and vrill, shut down microchips in people worldwide by destroying mindworks satellite and the back up satellites however many there are, and shut down the cloning centers and destroy all deep underground military bases...fixes all other problems... no more chemtrails or mk ultra or monarch, solves so many probs at the same time. as long as we get vrill n drones all will b fine... and replace some corrupt government . just gotta spread info to the four corners of the Earth,... public knowledge is only thing thats gonna stop Vrill n drones and the corrupt governments complicit with lizards. militaries must turn. most important info you'll ever read, beyond top secret... 33rd level of freemason knowledge, and highest level of scientology knowledge.

[pynkhues]

Why did Beth act like she couldn't remember when her and Rio hooked up when they were at the doctor's office?

I think it mostly came down to fear, anon, given that, for her, it looked like she was about to be caught in the lie that was keeping her alive.

At that point, she didn’t know that Rhea had come through for her and organised the doctor to be complicit after all. The walls were closing in in a big way, and I think in the moment of it, she was ultimately just paralysed by the situation overall. 

It’s interesting though too, because it becomes a real marker of the push-pull between them. Beth tying her fate to their former intimacy was something that was a concerted effort to remind him what they were to each other in a bid to stay alive, but Rio reducing that to him ‘hitting it in the bedroom while [her] husband was at work’ makes for the flipside of that. It’s a notable effort to create distance again and undermine that intimacy, something I’d argue was about reaffirming his willingness to kill her, and how little he wanted her to think she'd ever meant to him.

The fact that it’s followed by 3.04 is pretty great too, because if 3.03 is an episode about lies (which I’d say that it is), 3.04 is in many ways an episode about honesty (albeit a shrouded type of honesty). Beth lies about having a miscarriage, but owns up in the sense of admitting she’s not pregnant, and the episode circles truths between them in a way that it often doesn’t – in particular, exploring the fact that Rio doesn’t actually want to kill her, and that while Beth knows the intimacy between them was real, she also knows it’s not what’s going to get her off the hook with him. She knows what will – which is money, and then reminding them both that she’s valuable to him professionally. 

On rewatching, I actually found that 3.03 and 3.04 actually make for a really neat two-hander in that sense! I’ve had a lot of thoughts on it, haha.