#whoops i rambled a bit

[prismatoxic]

so, back in, like... january? i was between fandoms. my most recent interest hadn't panned out in a way i found satisfying--i liked the media fine enough, but attempts to engage with the fandom largely went nowhere, and the only person i was really sharing the space with (my partner) was falling out of being super focused on it, so i ended up following suit. we both kind of just returned to being into our own OCs for a while.

there's this post i saw recently--something about how the act of your art being perceived is, for many of us, part of the process of making art. the work isn't complete until it's been acknowledged. you have worth, anon, and your work matters, but i fully understand how empty it feels to go unnoticed, to be unseen.

in february i became aware of something newer: an anime adaption for a long-running manga that wrapped up last year. (yes, it's obvious what i mean, but that's not what this post is about.) i told my partner it looked interesting, and by the end of the month we finally watched it. we'd both fallen into a creative slump post-last fandom, even with our OCs to play with; within days of starting this anime, we wanted to do things with it.

the sting of being kind of a nobody in the last space made me feel like maybe i'd be better off staying away from fandoms. it wasn't anybody's fault, after all; it just made me sad, and i was better off avoiding situations where i'd feel that way. (and obviously, in worse states of self image, such a thing can make you feel quite worthless.) i didn't intend to try and get into this fandom. the ship i liked had 11 fics on ao3, and i only ended up checking the tumblr tag because i wanted to see what fanart there was.

it was... more than i was expecting! i'd been distancing myself from tumblr, but i was captivated by all the art and posts for what seemed like a rarepair, and everyone was actually interacting with each other. i wasn't hopeful, though. i told myself i would still go unnoticed, and it would hurt all the more for glimpsing this shimmer of a community i'd love to be in. i started reblogging fanart of the ship--i went all the way back in the tag, there still wasn't that much--and followed a few people who posted about it, but i intended to sit on my hands, do my own thing and try not to expect much.

it started with one person. i'd been having some really surface level interactions with reblogs and meta posts, but i got to talking with someone about the ship, someone who was also relatively new to the fandom but already seemed to know people. i was terrified of the possibility of rejection but excited anyway; we got to talking on discord, and i even shared some of my fears, concerns that i would be a ghost in this fandom too, that my presence wouldn't matter. but talking with them gave me a little bit of hope. i started reaching out to some other regulars in the tag, and people i'd become mutuals with over the aforementioned meta posts and my own nonstop reblogging of ship content.

season one of this anime just ended. there will likely be only two of them; the second one is in production. our ship tag hit 100 fics not too long ago. people love the fic i started writing before i even finished the manga, and i have dozens of people i consider friends, several even close friends, who i met through this fandom. my partner is also in that mix, making his own work and being recognized for it, a welcome member of this community that's built up and solidified around this ship.

i understand how it feels to feel worthless. like a nobody. i have my partner, yes, and the loneliness stings less with someone at your side, but i was still lonely. i'm someone who thrives on validation and community. i wanted a space where people would value what i had to say, and the things i posted, and i had no idea how to make that happen.

it started with one person. ao3cotd is right about that. they're also right about how you should treat yourself--you have to be more gentle, and understand that you're not flawed for not being seen. fandoms are big places. sometimes people fall through the cracks, and it hurts and it sucks, but it's not because there's something wrong with you. you're not a loser; you're a fan, same as everyone else, and you belong in these spaces as much as anyone else does.

you can find your people. i turned 29 this year and this is the first time i've ever felt this involved in a fandom space that made me feel this valued. i've been in other good ones, though, and even there, it started with one person, one hesitantly posted fic, one enthusiastic meta post. you have to exist before people can find you. and they will find you, rarepair or unpopular character or otherwise. but you have to take a step out into that direction first.

don't give up. you have value, as a person and a writer and a fan, and you can do this.

do you have any advice on what to do when you know your writing issues are connected to wanting a community, but no matter how hard you try, you can’t find a community? or you know that if you go ahead and write for the rarepair/fandom/character of your heart, you’ll have no one to write for and look like a total loser? there are some fandoms i want to write for so bad, but i know no one would ever read anything i write, and i can’t find a point in writing when that’s the case.

I really want to give you a hug, anon 💗 You're being so mean to yourself, and you really don't deserve it.

Why are you so sure that no one will read anything that you write? And why do you think you'd be a loser if that were the case?

Community is a really important part of creating for a lot of people. They draw energy and motivation from sharing ideas and getting excited about each other's art. They get inspired by talking to other people about their projects or about the source material or about a shared love of a trope.

But from what you wrote here (and I could be wrong, this is just one paragraph), it sounds like you need a community in order to find your self-worth. You are describing your success or failure, your value or lack thereof in terms of what other people think about you and whether they react to your work.

You are good and important and worth knowing whether other people read your fic or not ❤️❤️

When it comes to finding a community, I recommend starting with just one person. Find someone who's blog you like or whose writing or art you enjoy and reach out to them. Send an ask. Drop a comment. Try a DM. Whatever you're comfortable with, get to know them a little and see if you want to be friends. Once you've got one person, it's easier to find more.

But at the same time that you do that, try to change the way you talk to and about yourself. I know it's hard and it might even feel awkward, but it makes a difference if you can keep it up. It even stops being hard after a while.

Remember that no other person's opinion is more important than your own. You created your work and you understand it best. Your first audience is yourself, after all.

You'll never be able to control what other people do - whether they read your fic or comment on it, whether they like it or hate it or leave a kudos.

Instead of thinking about those things, think about what you can control. Choose what stories you write. Do the things you're passionate about. Celebrate goals like word count or completing a fic or writing a really great line. Those are all achievements too, and none of them depend on the opinions of others.

It is really hard to separate your desire for attention or approval from your desire to participate in a fandom, and it's going to take time to untangle them from each other. But we're all here cheering you on, anon, and we'd love to help you on your way.

[hattiestgal]

If you don't mind my asking, how do you go about drawing fat? :3

JUST THE EXCUSE I WAS LOOKING FOR

So, for me personally, a lot of the time when I draw fat characters, I'm not looking to specifically capture the specifics of fat as much as the feel of fat. Bulkier, rounder shapes in the right places that has a feeling of weight to em! A lot of that is intuition and simplification at this point, but it all works on the same frame as just any ol' person. Like take this-

For example. This is the basis for any body shape, not just the more average one that it may imply. Sure- it can be that average body shape:

But also a fat one too!

And a big part of that is knowing where fat usually tends to bunch up on the body, so lets take a look piece by piece! (Please keep in mind this is very simplified, and not completely precise in some parts)

THE FACE: Cheeks (in purple) and especially the chin (in light blue) are the places where a lot of the fat is gonna wanna gather and round out on your face! Additionally, theres a small pocket of fat beneath the cranium on the backside of your head. It's small, but it is there. I believe fat can build up elsewhere like the bridge of your nose and forehead, but generally speaking, you're gonna have a whole lot more buildup in other places first.

THE TORSO: A lot of the fat built up on the torso is gonna be sent to your tummy. More cushioning for vital organs, mostly out of the way, it just makes sense. Additionally, the lower backs fat builds up and joins with a patch of fat on your sides that forms what is typically referred to as the love handles to make that double belly look. Along with this, the immediate next target for the torso is the breasts, followed by the upper back!

THE ARMS: For this limb, a VERY notable amount of the fat present builds up on the tricep and bicep areas, lessening once you get towards the flexor and extensor areas. You can almost think of the arm as a sort of triangular shape, wide side starting from the shoulder and tapering towards the hand, which itself mostly builds up fat around the back of the hand and the fingers. The shoulders themselves don't build up too much fat unless you got a lot

THE LEGS: And finally, you can think of the legs having pretty similar curves to what you're probably already used to thinking. The front of the thighs getting a big buildup, along with the back of the calves, the other parts being flatter in turn. As far as the feet go- similarly to the hands, the top of the feet, along with the heels get most of the buildup, as fat on your soles would impede mobility. The glute, hip and crotch area will also especially build up fat, lending to the same triangular shape that you can see in the arm!

A big thing to note with fat is that it tends to taper off towards joints. Your knees, elbows, shoulders, hips, and all the other places are gonna have significantly less fat so that you remain mobile and flexible, as that's important!

Now that we have an idea of where fat builds up on the body, you might have something that looks kinda like this

Which yes, does demonstrate a solid understanding of the places fat builds up, lacks the weight you're probably trying to convey, which brings us to out next point! Fat is well... heavy! Gravity is what gives fat much of it's shape, especially as you tread towards larger and larger bodies.

This is demonstrated really well on the arms especially-

Those big ol' bits of fat'll really start to sag when left hanging, and they will squish like hell if they run into something. I like to think of these bits of fat as big ol' ovals that squash and stretch depending on if there's an obstacle in their way or not

These are the important shapes to remember when it comes to the weightiness of fat! If you take all of this into mind, you should be getting something a lot closer to that shape you've been after!

Oh, and always remember that fat bodies come in all variety of shapes and sizes! Play around with a whole lot, and seek out all the resources you can! it'll really lend to your knowledge when it comes to this kinda stuff!

And as I always recommend when it comes to learning art- look at what your favorite artists do with fat bodies. See what you really like about the fat bodies they draw and try to replicate it in your own work, I promise you it's one of the most helpful things ever.

This is like the most basic of basics when it comes to drawing fat bodies though. If there's any additional thing about fat bodies, or maybe you want clarification on something, don't be afraid to ask! If there's enough to cover, I'll make an addition to this post!

[crows-of-buckets]

Rook: I'm really worried about Davrin and Lucanis, they keep arguing with one another... Its very bad Varric, what if it effects them in battle?

Varric, remembering that one time Fenris broke Ander's nose then took a knife in the back for him in the same night: I'm sure they'll be fine kid. They're barely even arguing if you ask me

[gotham-daydreams]

Okay we see how Bruce, Dick, Jason, Tim and Cass become Yanderes for reader what about Damian, Steph and Babs?

That question is exactly why I'm kind of debating on making a kinda "Part 2.5" sort of thing, and it would show how Tim and Damian got further roped into things like Bruce, Dick, Jason and Cass. Along with how Steph and Babs take the news of "heyyy, um. you know Y/n? yeah that one sibling of ours that's lived here for years that we've barely have like, 10 conversations with collectively? Yeah, that sibling. Uh, we just figured out they've basically been living an entire life without any of us knowing, and might've run away because we were barely involved in their life despite them making multiple attempts to have us be there. So, we kind of need your help to find them. Like. Now-"

Though honestly I'll just put the run down here, so-

Bruce kind of gave Damian the little push he needed before hopping on the train, kind of like what he did with Jason but a little different. With him finding Damian, and some questions being thrown around, before Damian just decides to help look for you.

Honestly I can imagine that Damian wasn't super serious about finding you or anything at first, and was more so just trying to help because Bruce and Dick were looking for you. Hence why he looks for Alfred first with the intention to get the search done and over with. Though, that does begin to change a little when he eventually stumbles upon your room and gets that small glimpse of all he's missed out on after having talked with Alfred.

The room itself doesn't necessarily get to Damian — not like it does with Bruce and Dick — but it's more of the contents of the room itself that get him started on the yandere path.

Honestly, how Damian and Tim begin to develop their more Yandere thoughts and feelings for the reader is through finding something in your room, leading them to find more stuff, and that eventually getting to the thought process of "i didn't know they did this... i would've liked to know about this before/share this thing with them." Which then leads to a more yandere-like mindset.

For Damian (since we're already on the topic of him), he finds that one art award that you got, and becomes curious. Eventually he finds the unfinished art pieces that Bruce had found earlier, and while he isn't impressed or anything at first, the more unfinished pieces he finds the more he kind of begins to see your potential, and that leads to his own thoughts on the matter. With him wishing he knew about how you liked to do art too, and that eventually leads to him thinking that he could've helped you refine your skill, and the both of you could've drawn or painted together.

What strengthens that mindset is when he gets his hands on a notebook that you had used to practice whatever you were struggling with, and left notes for yourself on how you could improve upon certain things as well. Maybe if Damian had known you were into art before, he could've helped you, and you both could've improved together. Refine each other's skills, and just be able to create together. Which Damian really begins to like the thought of. Especially as he sees how you improved the deeper into the notebook he gets.

So, he also sets out to find you, but with a more positive mindset and thought process.

Honestly, out of everyone, Damian is the least worried about you and your well-being. Not because he necessarily has faith in your abilities to stay alive in Gotham, while also potentially being by yourself, but rather he isn't focused on that part? Not as intensely as some of the others, anyway.

Besides, if you were to turn up dead, then he'd have the "you die, I kill you" mindset. You aren't allowed to be dead or 'missing' in his mind, and so you aren't until proven other wise — but even then he's going to need a lot of solid proof to even believe it.

Damian is just more focused on the "we have a common interest and I want to do this thing with them" part of learning that you're into art. Even if you aren't anymore, just knowing that it was something that you used to do is enough to get him jumping on the yandere train. You'll be doing art with him one way or another, and you can't do shit about it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sure his reasoning isn't a strong, but it's enough to get him started and to go looking for you with the others when they eventually start tearing Gotham apart in hopes to find you. Damian now has a sudden need for quality time and your his main target, sorry not sorry.

Tim on the other hand just sort of, stumbled upon your room, and thanks to Dick was very quickly roped into this mess (as mentioned in "Not Here").

He actually looks through the box with all of your more personal belongs first as Dick tries to call and text you like crazy, while also trying to figure out more stuff.

The first thing he minds is an mp3 player, which, again - as mentioned in "Not Here" held very early versions of songs you were working on at the time, along with some of the very first songs you ever wrote. Which, after listening to a few of them, is immediately a big fan. Though that ends up being both his downfall and how he begins to develop his more yandere tendencies.

Like Dick, you had tried to call and message him about certain performances and such you thought he'd like, and hoped he'd attend, but to no avail. It sucks even more for Tim now because if he had just given your music a chance just a little sooner, maybe things would've been different between the two of you. Maybe you wouldn't have left.

Not to mention that, since he now really loves your music - just knowing that he's wasted so many opportunities to hear more of it, and the completed, fully fleshed out versions of some the songs on the mp3 player makes him upset. He really feels the hit of neglecting you, and that hit only lands harder when he goes through that 'List/Progress' notebook that Bruce had seen earlier in "Not Here".

A notebook which does reveal a lot about you, and how you only did so many activities because you hoped that if anyone in the family was into one of the activities/hobbies you tried, then you'd be able to bond with them over it. Though look at where that got you. Countless awards hung on your walls, with a number of accomplishments to your name - and yet not once were you able to use them for their original purpose. Not once were you able to hold a full, long conversation with any of them about any of the things you've done.

It wasn't even your fault because you tried to put in the work, Tim could really see that now, but you just weren't given the chance to actually put it to good use.

Maybe that's why he ended up helping Dick as much as he did, and maybe that's why he took the time to download some of your songs before heading out to look for you. He wanted to feel closer to you then he really was, and wanted your music to be something shared between the two of you.

Tim wants to not only get closer to you, but to hear everything you've ever made music wise. A want which he fully intends on making a reality.

Stephenie and Barbara are a bit different, however. Since, as stated in "Not Here", both of them are informed of what's going on after everyone else but Damian and Alfred absolutely loses their minds over you not being in the Manor. Though, again, both take the news a bit differently.

Between the two, Steph easily feels the worst. So her motivations and actions — like Bruce, Dick, Jason, Cass, and Tim — are more out of guilt and regret. She already doesn't like the thought of her own neglect having caused you to keep so many things to yourself that you basically hid yourself away, but the idea of her — along with everyone else — having pushed you so far away that you ran away? That... doesn't make her feel good, to say the least.

Sure, she doesn't feel as bad as Bruce or Dick - who easily feel the worst because of their respective roles in the family, and them feeling like they failed to even be a semi-present figure in your life for you to recognize them as your Father and Older Brother (to which they are correct, but aren't aware of that yet) - but it's still enough for her to try and look for you too.

Kind of like Bruce when he was looking in the Manor, Stephanie doesn't know where to start looking, and that only worsens her regret.

I guess her development comes more with time? Since the more she and the others look, not only do her feelings grow, but she also learns more about you as everyone starts sharing information over the intercoms. Things they just found out about you — like how you spent your birthdays alone with Alfred and had waited for them each year until recently, how you made music, what kind of competitions and such you've participated in, who were your teachers, how majority of what you did wasn't even for yourself - but rather a chance that one of the many activities you did try out was something anyone of them were into, so that way you could actually have a conversation with them - and more. (Which may be shown later? Not in a official post/part to the series but perhaps in a sort of side thing that shows the mayhem going on. But who knows?)

Case and point, while they are all looking for you - Steph slowly becomes more yandere for the reader the more she learns about you and how her and the other's actions impacted you. Like some of the others, she wants to make it up to you, but isn't entirely sure how she'd even go about doing that. The more aware she becomes, the harder she falls.

Barbara on the other hand, I'd say, is more lowkey as of now when it comes to her development as a yandere?

I mean, Dick, while very much panicking, basically told her it was an emergency and he really needed her on the bat computer because he had to look for you. Which, in the same breath, gave a list of locations and possible teachers you might've had in the past (you can thank Tim for trying to figure all of that out) and if she could look into it.

It's safe to say that Barbara's introduction into the whole situation was very chaotic. An emotional, worried, and panicked Dick is never a good one, so that was fun to deal with while slowly drowning in confusion.

Eventually, she got the run down and was quick to help, but like Bruce, Cass, Damian, and Jason - she was more confused at the start.

Ouf of everyone, and maybe besides Jason, Barbara has had the least amount of interaction with you - and the room for possible interactions with you for her were much smaller anyway considering that you aren't a vigilante, and never intended to be. So, it only makes sense that one of the people you've easily had the least connection with, was the person who communicated and mainly interacted with the rest of the Batfam when they're doing vigilante work.

What didn't help is that she barely even saw you at events or even holiday gatherings and such the family would have, with you being so neglected that they just... failed to even notice you missing at the time. The day she was introduced to you was when you were first adopted, and that was basically both the first and last full interaction either of you have had with each other. Other than that, she would hear small comments about you sometimes from the others, but even then it wasn't much and those soon died out as one could've guessed.

Even when she was in the Manor, she might've caught a few glimpses of you, but nothing else - so the beginning of her fall into being a yandere is definitely much slowly and lowkey when compared to the others.

I feel as if this whole situation may encourage Babs to want to get to know you better? After all, your disappearance did cause the whole family to basically start a whole manhunt just to find you, so I feel as if that would be enough to get Barbara interested at the very least. Not to mention all of the things she's hearing about you from everyone - it would be nice to try and actually meet you, not just know about you.

In other words, I feel as if Barbara may develop more as a yandere in part 3, seeing as I can see her more yandere tendencies begin to develop once she actually 'meets' you. Y'know what I mean?

So tldr; Damian becomes a yandere for the reader by finding out they're into art/have done art in the past, and now has a deep need to bond with them.

Steph becomes a yandere through her guilt and regret, and like some of the others, want to make it up to the reader.

Babs, on the other hand, hasn't exactly become a yandere just yet, but will once she 'meets' the reader and see them for herself. As of right now, she's just curious, but we'll get there in part 3.

Also, this is unrelated to the ask, but I would like to point out how pretty much everyone in the Batfam thinks you ran away rather then you just leaving. Do what you will with this information for now :]

Anyways, I hoped that answered your question, even if I got a bit rambly! If there's anything else in particular anyone else would like to know, feel free to send in an ask!

[starrygazingpie]

Seconding this addition.

One of the great joys IS trying something new because of a creator’s essay. not every essay will click- but some will! Jacob Geller kept referencing stuff I already loved, which has made me pick up more than a few new books and games because of him.

And Somerton clearly assumed that no one would want to read up on / read more of the things he talked about in his content. Which is like- the opposite of the approach you should have.

I think there is also something interesting to be said about how he has treated new information / corrections, and how he sees his own audience and how they interact with his content*

(*caveat here being I don’t think you’re Terrible / Incurious for enjoying Somerton’s stuff or not reading more. I don’t read up on all the video essays I watch. I bounced off of him and illuminaughtii bc they happened to pick things I knew about and my instinct was “derivative and poor research” rather than straight to plagiarism)

Point being- I’m thinking specifically about the Becky Albertalli situation and the Ace Couple situation.

Both belonging to a group he looks down on (bi women, ace people)- when met by gentle correction and criticism it became “the entire community attacked me”

the fact that Becky Albertalli came out very public ally and then told him directly, “I’m not straight, I am bi and was closeted at the time” but still remains the “straight woman interloper” to him bc god forbid he admit that he was wrong

The way the ace couple and other ace fans tried to correct his mistakes out of a place of “hey I love what you’re doing but this is a blind spot” became “no you’re all harassing me and I’m tripling down on my assertions that ace people face no oppression. Have you guys just tried having sex btw”

He just assumes that his audience is as fundamentally incurious and stubborn as him.

It’s just- it’s good to look out for if people you’re listening to actually want you to go out and read things that aren’t them. AND also watch how they handle being corrected

but on a more serious note, i'm thinking Heavily about the sockpuppet line he had about the plagiarism

so what? 10 years or not enough views and it's free takesies for any ideas?

just this perfect isolation of what hbomb was saying about how plagiarists see the people they're stealing from- that they don't respect them, that it'd all be better coming from their mouth.

and also how he sees his audience- all paying attention only to him and what he says, with no curiosity to go look for other creators.

it genuinely is just this distillation of him using other people's work to prop up himself for views.

and like look this shit was insulting even before i specifically did go through the logs of people that were stolen from- to read their works myself.

The people he stole from are people telling their own personal stories. people who are telling stories about things that they love deeply. people who are telling the stories of the communities they belong to and love- communities that are still sidelined and marginalized.

and he just continues to slap queer creators in the face while claiming to be The Authority on queer media

[chronicowboy]

okay pitch for season 8. 911 redux of captain bill hader catching jake and amy making out at work and having a heart attack but gerard walks in on buck and eddie's first ever kiss which inevitably turns into more and just drops fucking dead on the spot.

[applestorms]

ok, well. if last time i talked about parallels between near & light, i guess it’s only fair that this time i talk about parallels between mello & misa. yap central on this blog lately.

the main thing that stands out the most about mello & misa, and the reason why i will forever Defend them and their place in the story, is that in my mind they both function in a similar way on a narrative level: namely, both of them are incredibly active wild-card characters that keep the action going and the story moving forward when the other main characters like light, L, & near start getting too passive.

notably, while i often see this trait praised in mello, usually in the context of a comparative criticism of near for his overly-abundant passivity, i have also seen it used as a criticism of misa's character, that she breaks up the status quo of DN too significantly and thereby makes the story feel less realistic. this last point in particular is an odd argument to make imo, as if anything misa's presence only increases the realism of DN by adding some extra luck/random chance into the story in a way that is ultimately still character-motivated and thus easier for the audience to go along with-- something DN in general is very good at, often introducing elements through pure chance but keeping them grounded in characters enough that you almost don't even notice.

take light meeting naomi misora, for example: the only reason he runs across her at all is because he offers to run an errand for his mom on a bored laundry day, literally stumbling across her right at the exact moment she is divulging important insights she is literally the only person capable of making about kira. yet this moment does not stand out as particularly aggravating or out of place in the story, as ultimately the only reason why light is able to get out of that situation is his own quick thinking and ability to calm himself while under immense pressure, squeezing his way out of a potentially run-ending situation he didn't even know existed moments prior.

(not a fan of that big joel video, if you couldn't tell. lmao.)

point is, mello & misa both fulfill about the same narrative function in the story by being so aggressive in their actions, catching the others off guard even if their plans aren't as well thought out or careful as they could otherwise be. they're both incredibly passionate, dedicated characters as well, tough enough to take the hit when it inevitably comes, and in my opinion neither of them are nearly as stupid as the other MCs like to make them out to be. to some degree, i think both of them are aware of the fact that they can't win at the Mind Game Cold War Bullshit the others are inclined to get involved in, so they instead choose to carve out their own place in the story through sheer perseverance alone.

which, speaking of passion: one of the most interesting parallels i think you can make between mello & misa is the ways in which they idolize their respective heroes, misa's obviously being light while mello's is L. allow me to elaborate.

as this post points out, DN has some very interesting use of its religious imagery & theming, and in particular its use of christian/catholic gothic imagery in its story and especially its art. however, as op notes, a lot of this is quite superficial, ascribing to an aesthetic of "kitschy Catholicism," that was characteristic of a lot of early 2000s japanese goth style. yet, while i admit that a more serious consideration of religious elements in the art & story could add some interesting flavor to the story, i also think that, regardless of intention, the superficiality of DN's religious elements works really well in the context of this particular story. as i stated in my tags on that post: light is a superficial god. he is a fake, a scam, some idiot human that stumbled across the powers of a real shinigami and got his head up his ass about it. and a lot of the arcs of other characters in DN is about their reaction to light's claims-- whether they choose to follow him (e.g. misa, mikami), follow somebody else (e.g. mello), or follow nobody at all (e.g. near, also kinda soichiro?), and the implications that has for their lives and personalities.

this is all to say that while you can, on a surface level, connect misa & mello pretty easily as the two aggressive, fashionable blondes of the series, i also think that these somewhat superficial traits betray a greater connection between the two of them. if we understand the christian/catholic elements of misa & mello's fashion as a demonstration of their connection to not just a higher power but a lie, a superficial deity simply reflecting the sunlight of powers greater than himself, then i think we have great insight into another key element of both their characters.

do not forget: in the world of DN, heaven & hell do not exist. at least in the context of death itself, the realm & lore of the shinigami reign supreme, a point which the DN musical makes even more overt: "Isn't it a laugh? / Isn't it a shame? / Thinking there is someone in heaven to blame?" and "Going through the motions / as if there will be a reward / Oh, while we stay eternally bored!" (BEST SONGGG.) everyone is destined for the same fate of MU, the same void of nothingness awaits all. no reward, no punishment, no greater deity looking down upon us than the bored, slothful shinigami, lazing about in their realm and picking people off only when necessary (for the most part).

misa & mello are thus dedicating themselves to false idols, and we can see the negative effects this has on them in almost every facet of their character-- particularly for mello, who is perhaps more self-aware and has more of a mixed emotional outlook on his idol, but maybe even to a more extreme degree for misa. i keep going back to this idea of equating boredom with depression in DN, but where light/L/near are all "bored" in a very quiet, passive, stewing-in-bed late at night kinda way, misa & mello are characteristically a lot more aggressive and intense about it-- while neither of them are super overtly suicidal, necessarily, their actions still betray a distinct lack of care for their own safety or lives, expressing the same thematic sentiment as the others. even if they still don't straight up say it, through their actions they're a lot louder about not liking themselves, and seem to take the problems they see in the world more personally, shouldering the blame as a failure within themselves instead of projecting it outward like the others: e.g. light taking his unhappiness at the emptiness of his life at the start of the story & placing the blame on the world for "going to shit" & humanity's moral failings, versus misa being willing to literally & figuratively give up her life for KIRA the second he demands it, whether that be in the form of shinigami eyes or killing her own friends w/o second thought-- all because he was the only thing to bring justice to her own parents' deaths, an almost undoubtedly traumatizing/horrible experience for her considering how much value she places on KIRA/light afterwards.

to clarify, this is not to say that all of these characters are actually and literally depressed and/or suicidal, though you could certainly make that argument for some/all of them-- this is just one way that i think you could interpret their roles in the plot, and their thematic attachment to the story. even if DN isn't all that interested in considering the True Moral Answer to ethics/the justice system/human society/etc, it definitely takes at least some interest in the emotional viewpoints of characters in relation to those concepts, so i think this is a fair enough approach to take. or to say this another way, it's less about justifying the claim that "the world is shit," and more about trying to understand the emotional motivation & experience of feeling like the world is shit, if that makes sense.

that being said...speaking more on the whole "not liking themselves," thing: even if she doesn't say it aloud often, if ever, i think that misa is deeply aware of the fact that she was not supposed to live this long, that her existence at all is a pure stroke of luck that let her live on past her destined date. she dedicates herself to light so fully, not even necessarily expecting reciprocation (though she at least reserves herself the possibility of such), because being a disciple to her god at least gives her life some kind of purpose. similarly, i think mello is also aware of just how out of reach the one thing he wants is, how his desperation in and of itself is ironically the one thing keeping him from surpassing near and truly being #1. it's important to note that pre-time skip misa & post-skip mello are almost exactly the same age, around 20 years old at the time of their main arcs. they're immature, and in the case of mello especially, are lashing out at the world in whatever way they can because they know they don't quite fit into it in the way that they want to or should. regardless of the intent behind it, mello & misa both still make the conscious decision to kill with the DN-- perhaps in a way that still keeps their humanity, at least following near's logic, but it's a decision to end a human life either way.

anyways, going back to my previous point, this "worshiping of false idols," idea has some interesting implications-- for misa & mello yes, but also for L and the ways in which he contrasts again light, as under this logic mello's treatment kind of inherently gives L a similar status as a sort of false god/idol. which-- actually makes a lot of sense? or at the very least, viewing wammy's house as a kind of mystery cult a la the eleusinian mysteries is a neat approach to take. L & light's mutual alienation from humanity fits them both filling a false god status, anyway. also there's another thread of analysis you could follow here where near is instead fit into the role of the person mello is fixated on which AAAAAAAAA has interesting implications but jesus fucking christ, this post is long. some thoughts for another time, i suppose.

[paintedkinzy-88]

(So sorry i feel like im spamkmg yoyr ask box but i just rotate this au around in my brain like microve)

So i was checking out the posts linked through your coi au master post, and this part:

Did this this cut more deep than Donnie intended? Like does Leo still think about this one line even months past? Like does he think, as hes going on his nightly falling/flying sesions how his brothers couldnt even think of leaving april behind but didn't hesitate to leave him behind

Meanwhile donnie and bros dont see it that that. They see leo as equal, even without wings, they never once thought of it as leaving him behind. Because hes their brother, theyd NEVER leave him behind.

But then that got me thinking... did they accidentally like ACTUALLY leave leo behind that first night donnie made his wings. Cause i can see donnie and the ither two being caught up in the joy of flying together for the first time, maybe going too fast for leo to keep up on the rooftops, cementing the idea in his head that his bros dont need him.

This is long winded lol i just got angst on my mind 😭

Spam me all you want!! I may not be able to promise I’ll get to every ask I ever receive, I just don’t have that time, but I CAN promise that I see, read, and overthink everything anyone sends me (ง’̀-‘́)ง So send away!!

As for your question: Absolutely, yes, that moment struck Leo down to his core — but not like. Personally. He knows Donnie didn’t mean it like that! Realistically, he understands that his brothers/sister care just as much about him as he does about them. They’d never purposefully leave him behind!! At the end of the day, he trusts that, should he ever get seriously knocked down, his family would turn right back around to help him get back up.

But he still has a MAJOR barrier that he sees between them. One that Donnie AND April are now able to literally fly over. And now that he’s outnumbered, that wall feels even higher than before. He’s not alone, not ever, but it certainly feels like it sometimes…

And all of that is exactly why he doesn’t want to say anything. He not only feels a little silly to have this impossible dream in the first place (his hoard is literally birds and butterflies and shit, that’s so weird and pathetic, isn’t it???), but he doesn’t WANT them to worry about him. He doesn’t want them to turn tail and come back just to make sure he’s keeping up with them. He can’t hold them back like that!

It’s better to pretend he’s on the same level, train himself into the ground (even literally if that’s what it takes) to prove he’s on the same level, make them focus on his stellar swimming skills that are (to them) on par to their flying, than for them to ever realize that all he’ll ever do is look up at them from below.

Also, yes, after Dee made his first fully functioning flight pack, they all went on a quick flight around the city. April was the one to suggest they move it to the ocean so Leo could at least keep up with them and cheer them on…

[skitterjitter]

Ratio/Aventurine can go two ways:

1. Ratio viewing Aventurine as…not a science experiment, but something interesting pull apart and study, enabling his worst behaviors just to see the consequences, whatever they may be

2. Ratio refusing to let Aventurine burn himself out, treating him with care because no one else will (including himself and excluded Topaz)

In either case, Ratio’s attention is firmly fixed on Aventurine because he’s smart and can actually hold an intelligent conversation with Ratio. He may not be able to explain in minute detail how something works like Ratio can, but he knows how to get the results he wants and practical knowledge is still knowledge. A gambling fool Aventurine might be, but never an idiot or stupid

Also, Ratio realizing he likes Aventurine and being Mad about it is so funny. Aventurine may realize he cares about Ratio, but it would be hard for him to accept and admit his own feelings because he feels guilty for any comfort he finds and doesn’t think he deserves it unless there’s an edge to it

I like to think they had a…relationship of sorts going into Penacony, because it makes things a whole lot more painful. It balances out afterwards though, because we don’t know if he’s entirely free of the IPC, but the less Aventurine is attached to the IPC, the less he has to keep up his facade and the more Ratio gets to see the man underneath, whether he goes by Aventurine, Kakavasha or a different name entirely

[stealingyourspins]

(Click for better quality)

Ninjago Mermaid AU- Zane.

Species: Narwhal. Chosen because of their ability to withstand cold temperatures plus their color pallet.

Zane is a Marine “spy” Robot used by researchers to record and collect data of Merfolk in their natural environment. Made in a partnership with Borg Industries and Julien Laboratories, he is a revolutionary advancement in the robotics field, going past a simple language learning model level to becoming a true AI in the 25 years of development. Zane’s expedition is simple: to help marine biologists to study Merfolk and blend in the best he can.

(Alt version with no spots under the cut and non transparent versions)

[exhaustedwriterartist]

Okay so you said Rise Leo is your favorite, but it took a good bit of time for him to get to that spot. It sounds like there’s a story there, and I’m curious. Would you mind sharing?

Hi Crow! There is a bit of a story.

I'm going to be completely honest, I did not like ROTTMNT when it first came out. It was so different from 2012, 2003, and the 2007 movie, and I didn't like that when I was younger. Because of all the differences, Rise Leo was my least favorite out of the turtles. 2007 Leo/2012 Leo were my all time favorites at the time, so it was hard for me to accept this silly boy. Looking back, I have no clue why my younger self didn't give ROTTMNT a chance, because this show rocks!

When I finally got into ROTTMNT and accepted that every iteration is going to have big and small differences, it quickly became my favorite iteration. Why? Because I find all the turtles and April very relatable, the 2D animation is one of my favorite styles, and all the lore and stories in the show are so well told. For the longest time, Rise Donnie was my favorite, and he's still up there for me.

But why is Rise Leo my favorite now? Because I relate to him the most out of the four brothers and I love his dynamic in the show. Of course not fighting bad guys and stopping an alien invasion, but his struggle to find his purpose in both his family and in team, his "it'll be fine"/laid back attitude towards his problems and things in general (excluding things that he is passionate about [as it is for me too]), his relationships with his siblings, his struggle with taking on leadership responsibilities (out of fear of failing his team), the endless amount of jokes and references he makes, the love and care he has for his family, his times of a younger sibling being a menace, his struggle with guilt and his problem of blaming himself, him being a silly guy, his problems solving skills and ability to think outside the box, his stubbornness, his determination, and many many more things about him I relate with. I could talk about him for hours and hours.

Yeah... This blue boy really is my favorite character, not just turtle.

Thanks for asking Crow!

[huginsmemory]

Even with TBOB and thisisnotawebsite.com there's... Still so much we don't know about Bill. Like ok yeah he's given a tragic background, we know a bit more about his henchmaniacs, but we really don't know a lot. Like, what happened directly after he accidentally destroyed his dimension? It isn't said. Sure time baby KNOWS about Bill's destruction of his dimension, but it seems like he didn't show up after Bill's dimension was destroyed to apprehend him because he only knows about Bill after Bill tries to make a deal with him, causing Bill's wanted poster. And how did Bill become basically the overlord of the nightmare realm, and gather all his henchmaniacs? Like there's a good period where we just don't know. And it's implied he's shocked and horrified (likely even dissociates, since he does that) after he destroys his dimension. But his characterization doesn't seem by that point to be one that immediately goes into a self-destructive, violent god-becoming maniacal spiral of self hatred; it's more one to be overwhelmed with grief and spend a good long time in the midst of his grief, then necessarily he's about to DO anything. And generally speaking trope wise, there's steps missing; typically in this sort of scenario, the usual progression is this:

characterized as monster due to being different in some way

tries to prove their not

ends up hurting someone anyways

gets further villainized, and antagonized by others

Acceptance of being a monster, and goes okay? You wanted a monster? I'll be a monster.

Now this fits Bill's early life, up to number 4, but we don't know what happens immediately after. It's possible he just went into his spiral immediately after, but it feels wrong, because it is missing the part of someone further villainizing him beyond himself which causes him to lash out due to the expectation (and internalized) idea that he would cause harm. I'd assume maybe some kind of interdimensional authority showed up and accused him of purposely trying to kill his dimension, which triggered his "okay, then I'll be a monster", or even a situation where his 'monstrosity' through the badge of killing his dimension is garners him respect. Considering that his henchmaniacs are chosen out of monstrosity and violence as a badge of honor, it feels very much like this would make sense, except none of them really know about Bill's dimension. He doesn't brag about the violence of it; he only calls it a liberation, contrary to the idea that Bill ever used it to gain clout. Instead, it's more likely that an interdimensional authority showed up and accused Bill, except from circumstances, it doesn't seem like it was Time Baby, so not sure who it would be... but at the same time, that expectation is often required for the character to truly embrace their 'monstrosity' and become truly violent. Or perhaps it was delayed after the destruction of his dimension, later when he begins to run with his henchmaniacs and disregards the law, but that also doesn't feel satisfactory for character development. Or perhaps I'm just overthinking this trope...

Also, how did he have his powers? Some is clearly stuff he's always had; pyrokinesis from that one rhyme, the ability to see into 3d, and he was somehow able to destroy his dimension by whatever he did to let Euclydians see the stars (telekinesis?), but beyond that? Was he always all-seeing? How did he become a 'dream demon'? Are his deals actually binding or does he lie? Are these things that he acquired later, because Euclydians seem to be written about as if they usually don't have any of these abilities, nor the abilities Bill is known to have when young, nor did Bill seem to be able to be all seeing when he was younger. Plus, how was Bill able to survive the destruction of his dimension, if he's technically made of the same stuff as everyone else, who all seems to have a physical form? Why then does he seems to be characterized as a being made of pure energy and thought; is that just in Earth's dimension, or does he have a physical form within the nightmare realm? There's multiple things that are contradictory about his body (mouth-eye, yet talked about removing his exoskeleton to feed--not sure exactly when this was mentioned--plus his mouth located under his bricks and bowtie in his exoskeleton in journal 3). But he seems so thrilled by his physical form though on earth, and we know that physical forms exist within the Nightmare realm as Ford was in it... yet it seems like hes characterized to have no physical form, so did he perhaps lose his physical form when his dimension died? Did he technically die with them too, but with his powers was able to survive essentially as a ghost like he tells Dipper you become without a body?

[2aceofspades]

Do Leo and Usagi hate each other in the post apocalyptic future?

Not really...? They just have a bit of unresolved tension. I have a lil storyline in my head where they kinda split up a little before the apocalypse started. Usagi went back home for a few years and Leo obviously stayed behind. Usagi would have eventually caught word of what was happening in New York with the Krang and the resistance and makes the journey back to rejoin Leo. I think Usagi kind of 'convinces' himself that Leo could use the help from an old 'friend' (wink wink) and uses that as his excuse to rejoin him. In reality, Usagi misses Leo very much and wants to support him...aw.

Anywhizzle, they left off on rough terms, so Usagi's main focus was originally just to help out Leo and possibly join the resistance if necessary, not to re-kindle a relationship. However, both of them never really let go of their feelings for each other when they were apart, so they do end up getting back together. In my lil story, I imagine that they aren't actually very public or open about being back in a relationship. Especially with Leo now being the leader of the resistance, he doesn't really have time or energy to spend on an open relationship and Usagi understands and respects this. However, they do manage to find time to spend with each other and talk and do normal couple stuff to 'recuperate' away from the war. Usagi stays and doesn't leave his side, and knowing me and how I write 'stories', things will probably not end well or happily ever after for them. Then again, this is all just a lil ramble of a story that probably won't happen...so yeah

Sticking this here just cuz~

(:

[ironunderstands]

Don’t attack me but I really like radioapple, I think it’s so funny, but I could never see it genuinely becoming a relationship. However I must say that stupid rivalry, to stupid rivalry with begrudging respect is a top 10 character dynamic, and Alastor/Lucifer execute it perfectly.

[musicawizard]

just watched a clip of the final fifteen (GOs2) again by passing and ended up balling my eyes out. a literal year has passed and it still hits me as if i were seeing it for the first time - which is, in a way, incredible that it still evokes that level of reaction, but leaves me pondering once again with the concept of grief and how it continuously takes it’s hold on you.

no matter how many times i look at the scene - with different perspectives, interpretations, pov’s - it does not take away from the devastation of the situation, the emotions that we, the audience, experience alongside the characters, and the utter power and importance of storytelling (how our voices hold power, influence, and can make an impact)

It doesn’t take away the fact that we can’t change the course of the events, even if we wanted to (and believe me, all we want is for our favorite Angel and Demon to get their well-deserved happy ending); and we have to make peace with the fact that waiting is a part of the journey - both in ours (as the audience) and in the lens of their relationship. It could be argued that the concept of “Waiting” has been a 6000+ year foundational element to Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship, even if we aren’t looking too deep into that aspect. Waiting for change, waiting for the day where they could truly be together, to choose one another without complications, without fear - you name it all.

And that in itself is also full of grief, isn’t it? The drive and impact of fear. That unknown territory, everything that can be missed and lost due to waiting? Everything that you risk losing, everything you do lose? The way our actions can be governed so by its influence, and we may not even be aware of it either.

and, as per usual, i cant help but think about how special Crowley and Aziraphale’s dynamic is, because it’s not just made up from one concrete thing/applicable fandom trope. it’s all so, well, ineffable (<3), and it really reminds me of how special it is to be impacted by characters and storylines like this.

There is so much love put into stories like this, and the fact that we can feel the collective grief because we are deeply impacted by it all - is pretty special

-

the point of all this rambling? not quite sure myself, but

- grief is so intricate

- i want crowley and aziraphales happy ending so bad right now, but part of that waiting is also making peace with the fact that there is grief written in between the lines, and it’s something that just comes with the process

- im rambling so ok byee 🫡)

[moonshere]

Another day another ISAT live posting, some more thoughts and potential spoilers

Man man man where to even BEGIN! God this game gets more and more heart wrenching by the minute!!

to be clear, I’m currently at Act 3 I think? I tried to help everyone all at once so I did one full run with no skips to get all the info I needed, and I couldn’t stop thinking about what every else’s pov of Siffrin is like. At the moment my Siffrin is over lvl 60, so he managed to one-shot a lot of the enemies.

How does it look to everyone else? Your friend, the cheeky, pun-loving, trap and puzzle master. Who’s known more for their speed, killing enemies faster than anyone else. And while exploring they don’t look around, they just take the keys in the correct order and manage to choose the correct path every single time.

I noticed that some interactions you can make your friends notice that you’re acting suspiciously. So far I only got Odile to comment on it (and get interrupted rip) and Isabeau to say they will talk later about it. But I’m REALLY hoping there’s a way to get Siffrin’s friends to actually confront him before a loop end so he can actually freaking open up!!!

On that note, I know that I’ve only been talking about Siffrin (I can’t help myself ajdbhsbs they’re my absolute fav and consume my every thought!) I ADORE all the other characters too!!!

Mirabelle is soooooo freaking cute!! (I’ll be honest her character design is one of the reasons that made me want to play the game aidhisns) I’m so so so happy that she’s someone who’s aroace and adores romantic novels!!! There really isn’t that many aroace characters out there, especially one I relate to. But her!!!! It made me so happy!! I loved the scene between her and Siffrin (and that they’re ALSO ace and maybe alloromantic?? Demi??? I’m still unsure haha) their friendship means everything to me!! I also love the subtle way they confirmed she has anxiety! I’m kinda half wondering where she used to live before the House of Change considering how much she talked about how the headmaiden taught her everything

Odile is also so cool!! Finding out that she was only looking for half of her heritage, trying to find somewhere she belongs was something I did not expect but expands so much on her character. At first I thought she was just gonna be the Adult of the group, wise, knows what she’s doing, distant and Too Cool. But this was genuinely so good cuz it showed that Odile is just as unsure as everyone else. Hell, she and Siffrin turned out to have so much in common!! Finding a place to belong but finding nothing but yourself. I loved it so much!

little Bonnie!! They are so stinking cute I would absolutely die for them!! I like how- in a turn on how kids in video games are always put in incredibly dangerous situations and adults let them just cuz they are determined to help- Bonnie is always the one the group wants to protect the most. Even though they wanna help (and they do!! Their heals are lifesaving frfr) it’s always within the limit of their own safety. I also loved their hang out, the hug was so sweet!! Seriously, if anything happened to them I would cry

And lastly Isabeau!! He's so sweet!! i love how much he looks out for Siffrin! I’m not sure if it was a scripted event or that I managed to raise enough sus points for him to notice, but I love how when he noticed that Siffrin isn’t doing ok, he decided to postpone the confession just so he can properly focus later on Siffren’s own mental state! Also also! After looking at the romance novels once again, I almost screamed when Siffren said they were aware!!! They know that Isabeau likes them!! (And their self deprecating comment once again,,,,) Seriously, what torture it must be to see him almost confess over and over and fail everytime!! I definitely want to go back to the ending one more time to see if he ever manages to say it (but man is the king fight long,,,) His hang out was also sweet!! I think also a possible nod to what Siffrin’s home town is? If related to the stars?? But either way, the full on picnic afterwards was so cute!!

I just had to do a full run with them all together once again without any looping cuz Siffrin said so, all the new cutscenes with them together was just the sweetest!! The woodcutting one, the hair brushing, all of it is so soft!! the ending scene where they said they were a family just 🥹🥹🥹🥹 I can’t I can’t this game is too good!! I think the worst part of this though, is seeing Siffrin hoping, despite himself, that maybe, maybe, this time might be it. That all he needed was to be safe, to be happy, to be loved

And it still wasn’t enough