#whoops i rambled a bit
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so, back in, like... january? i was between fandoms. my most recent interest hadn't panned out in a way i found satisfying--i liked the media fine enough, but attempts to engage with the fandom largely went nowhere, and the only person i was really sharing the space with (my partner) was falling out of being super focused on it, so i ended up following suit. we both kind of just returned to being into our own OCs for a while.
there's this post i saw recently--something about how the act of your art being perceived is, for many of us, part of the process of making art. the work isn't complete until it's been acknowledged. you have worth, anon, and your work matters, but i fully understand how empty it feels to go unnoticed, to be unseen.
in february i became aware of something newer: an anime adaption for a long-running manga that wrapped up last year. (yes, it's obvious what i mean, but that's not what this post is about.) i told my partner it looked interesting, and by the end of the month we finally watched it. we'd both fallen into a creative slump post-last fandom, even with our OCs to play with; within days of starting this anime, we wanted to do things with it.
the sting of being kind of a nobody in the last space made me feel like maybe i'd be better off staying away from fandoms. it wasn't anybody's fault, after all; it just made me sad, and i was better off avoiding situations where i'd feel that way. (and obviously, in worse states of self image, such a thing can make you feel quite worthless.) i didn't intend to try and get into this fandom. the ship i liked had 11 fics on ao3, and i only ended up checking the tumblr tag because i wanted to see what fanart there was.
it was... more than i was expecting! i'd been distancing myself from tumblr, but i was captivated by all the art and posts for what seemed like a rarepair, and everyone was actually interacting with each other. i wasn't hopeful, though. i told myself i would still go unnoticed, and it would hurt all the more for glimpsing this shimmer of a community i'd love to be in. i started reblogging fanart of the ship--i went all the way back in the tag, there still wasn't that much--and followed a few people who posted about it, but i intended to sit on my hands, do my own thing and try not to expect much.
it started with one person. i'd been having some really surface level interactions with reblogs and meta posts, but i got to talking with someone about the ship, someone who was also relatively new to the fandom but already seemed to know people. i was terrified of the possibility of rejection but excited anyway; we got to talking on discord, and i even shared some of my fears, concerns that i would be a ghost in this fandom too, that my presence wouldn't matter. but talking with them gave me a little bit of hope. i started reaching out to some other regulars in the tag, and people i'd become mutuals with over the aforementioned meta posts and my own nonstop reblogging of ship content.
season one of this anime just ended. there will likely be only two of them; the second one is in production. our ship tag hit 100 fics not too long ago. people love the fic i started writing before i even finished the manga, and i have dozens of people i consider friends, several even close friends, who i met through this fandom. my partner is also in that mix, making his own work and being recognized for it, a welcome member of this community that's built up and solidified around this ship.
i understand how it feels to feel worthless. like a nobody. i have my partner, yes, and the loneliness stings less with someone at your side, but i was still lonely. i'm someone who thrives on validation and community. i wanted a space where people would value what i had to say, and the things i posted, and i had no idea how to make that happen.
it started with one person. ao3cotd is right about that. they're also right about how you should treat yourself--you have to be more gentle, and understand that you're not flawed for not being seen. fandoms are big places. sometimes people fall through the cracks, and it hurts and it sucks, but it's not because there's something wrong with you. you're not a loser; you're a fan, same as everyone else, and you belong in these spaces as much as anyone else does.
you can find your people. i turned 29 this year and this is the first time i've ever felt this involved in a fandom space that made me feel this valued. i've been in other good ones, though, and even there, it started with one person, one hesitantly posted fic, one enthusiastic meta post. you have to exist before people can find you. and they will find you, rarepair or unpopular character or otherwise. but you have to take a step out into that direction first.
don't give up. you have value, as a person and a writer and a fan, and you can do this.
do you have any advice on what to do when you know your writing issues are connected to wanting a community, but no matter how hard you try, you can’t find a community? or you know that if you go ahead and write for the rarepair/fandom/character of your heart, you’ll have no one to write for and look like a total loser? there are some fandoms i want to write for so bad, but i know no one would ever read anything i write, and i can’t find a point in writing when that’s the case.
I really want to give you a hug, anon 💗 You're being so mean to yourself, and you really don't deserve it.
Why are you so sure that no one will read anything that you write? And why do you think you'd be a loser if that were the case?
Community is a really important part of creating for a lot of people. They draw energy and motivation from sharing ideas and getting excited about each other's art. They get inspired by talking to other people about their projects or about the source material or about a shared love of a trope.
But from what you wrote here (and I could be wrong, this is just one paragraph), it sounds like you need a community in order to find your self-worth. You are describing your success or failure, your value or lack thereof in terms of what other people think about you and whether they react to your work.
You are good and important and worth knowing whether other people read your fic or not ❤️❤️
When it comes to finding a community, I recommend starting with just one person. Find someone who's blog you like or whose writing or art you enjoy and reach out to them. Send an ask. Drop a comment. Try a DM. Whatever you're comfortable with, get to know them a little and see if you want to be friends. Once you've got one person, it's easier to find more.
But at the same time that you do that, try to change the way you talk to and about yourself. I know it's hard and it might even feel awkward, but it makes a difference if you can keep it up. It even stops being hard after a while.
Remember that no other person's opinion is more important than your own. You created your work and you understand it best. Your first audience is yourself, after all.
You'll never be able to control what other people do - whether they read your fic or comment on it, whether they like it or hate it or leave a kudos.
Instead of thinking about those things, think about what you can control. Choose what stories you write. Do the things you're passionate about. Celebrate goals like word count or completing a fic or writing a really great line. Those are all achievements too, and none of them depend on the opinions of others.
It is really hard to separate your desire for attention or approval from your desire to participate in a fandom, and it's going to take time to untangle them from each other. But we're all here cheering you on, anon, and we'd love to help you on your way.
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If you don't mind my asking, how do you go about drawing fat? :3
JUST THE EXCUSE I WAS LOOKING FOR
So, for me personally, a lot of the time when I draw fat characters, I'm not looking to specifically capture the specifics of fat as much as the feel of fat. Bulkier, rounder shapes in the right places that has a feeling of weight to em! A lot of that is intuition and simplification at this point, but it all works on the same frame as just any ol' person. Like take this-
For example. This is the basis for any body shape, not just the more average one that it may imply. Sure- it can be that average body shape:
But also a fat one too!
And a big part of that is knowing where fat usually tends to bunch up on the body, so lets take a look piece by piece! (Please keep in mind this is very simplified, and not completely precise in some parts)
THE FACE: Cheeks (in purple) and especially the chin (in light blue) are the places where a lot of the fat is gonna wanna gather and round out on your face! Additionally, theres a small pocket of fat beneath the cranium on the backside of your head. It's small, but it is there. I believe fat can build up elsewhere like the bridge of your nose and forehead, but generally speaking, you're gonna have a whole lot more buildup in other places first.
THE TORSO: A lot of the fat built up on the torso is gonna be sent to your tummy. More cushioning for vital organs, mostly out of the way, it just makes sense. Additionally, the lower backs fat builds up and joins with a patch of fat on your sides that forms what is typically referred to as the love handles to make that double belly look. Along with this, the immediate next target for the torso is the breasts, followed by the upper back!
THE ARMS: For this limb, a VERY notable amount of the fat present builds up on the tricep and bicep areas, lessening once you get towards the flexor and extensor areas. You can almost think of the arm as a sort of triangular shape, wide side starting from the shoulder and tapering towards the hand, which itself mostly builds up fat around the back of the hand and the fingers. The shoulders themselves don't build up too much fat unless you got a lot
THE LEGS: And finally, you can think of the legs having pretty similar curves to what you're probably already used to thinking. The front of the thighs getting a big buildup, along with the back of the calves, the other parts being flatter in turn. As far as the feet go- similarly to the hands, the top of the feet, along with the heels get most of the buildup, as fat on your soles would impede mobility. The glute, hip and crotch area will also especially build up fat, lending to the same triangular shape that you can see in the arm!
A big thing to note with fat is that it tends to taper off towards joints. Your knees, elbows, shoulders, hips, and all the other places are gonna have significantly less fat so that you remain mobile and flexible, as that's important!
Now that we have an idea of where fat builds up on the body, you might have something that looks kinda like this
Which yes, does demonstrate a solid understanding of the places fat builds up, lacks the weight you're probably trying to convey, which brings us to out next point! Fat is well... heavy! Gravity is what gives fat much of it's shape, especially as you tread towards larger and larger bodies.
This is demonstrated really well on the arms especially-
Those big ol' bits of fat'll really start to sag when left hanging, and they will squish like hell if they run into something. I like to think of these bits of fat as big ol' ovals that squash and stretch depending on if there's an obstacle in their way or not
These are the important shapes to remember when it comes to the weightiness of fat! If you take all of this into mind, you should be getting something a lot closer to that shape you've been after!
Oh, and always remember that fat bodies come in all variety of shapes and sizes! Play around with a whole lot, and seek out all the resources you can! it'll really lend to your knowledge when it comes to this kinda stuff!
And as I always recommend when it comes to learning art- look at what your favorite artists do with fat bodies. See what you really like about the fat bodies they draw and try to replicate it in your own work, I promise you it's one of the most helpful things ever.
This is like the most basic of basics when it comes to drawing fat bodies though. If there's any additional thing about fat bodies, or maybe you want clarification on something, don't be afraid to ask! If there's enough to cover, I'll make an addition to this post!
#hat answers#my art#design talk#tutorials#yeah im unfortunately pretty tired so this gets a liiiitle rambly at the end but i think this covers like the basic basics#i hope this was helpful at all#and again dont be afraid to ask questions and stuff#if theres enough traction/questions on this i will most definitely try to clear up as much as i can in an addition to the post#whoops this took a bit!
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Rook: I'm really worried about Davrin and Lucanis, they keep arguing with one another... Its very bad Varric, what if it effects them in battle?
Varric, remembering that one time Fenris broke Ander's nose then took a knife in the back for him in the same night: I'm sure they'll be fine kid. They're barely even arguing if you ask me
#dragon age#dav spoilers#sorry its so funny to me#varric hearing the veilguard talk about their problems like adults instead of fucking/drinking/fighting their way out of it:#'wow my kirkwall friends really were fucked up losers huh:#'* whoops#i wish veilguard cast was a little bit toxic... i need them to be mean#lucanis should hate me so much more for choosing minrathous over treviso#i was counting on the yummy character drama...#he does trust rook a little bit less cause of it though so ill take that#i do feel bad about treviso im already planning a crow rook to save it and romance lucanis#sorry to compare these two to fenris and anders again i just think its funny#they should let me stick anders in the middle of the lighthouse#his sheer inability to cope with shit in a healthy way would be like setting off another bomb#someone tries to applogize and anders starts on his Bullshit you know what I'm talking about#can you guys tell i miss him. hes so bad at coping babygirl come back to me...#crow rambles
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what do you think kriselle's dynamic would look like if noelle was the one posessed by the player?
ooohh i read a swap fic about this once... and saw art for this concept once.... it certainly is an interesting premise
im probably thinking too much into it, but it's hard for me to imagine noelle being possessed WITHOUT it being a full swap au. the reason kris mostly flies under the radar is because they already act weird and off-putting normally, and they also dont have many friends (prior to game events) nor do they put on any kind of face for others
noelle on the other hand almost has everything to lose socially LMAO being turned into a puppet where she cant Control everything she says and does is like. masking autistic girl's worst nightmare. BUT THAT ASIDE... if noelle like, was the one suddenly commanding kris in the weird route, they would be monumentally freaked out, even if they dont show it super well... consciously, they might follow her orders because they Trust noelle especially when she's serious about something, but part of me thinks that kris eventually catches on that something is REALLY wrong -- faster than noelle does normally -- and eventually tries to get away from her and actively resist. noelle freezes when shes afraid, while kris runs... they have experience running away, right? maybe. but i dont think they would submit like noelle ultimately does.
as a hypothetical... if being controlled instead somehow kept noelle's usual demeanor, with only a few things being a bit Off, maybe on the main route kris would still be able to tell that something is different. that even though IT hides it really well, she still walks a little funny, or says something she wouldnt normally say, or she has this particular stiffness to her... i like to think that kris would be the only one to notice much like the inverse happens normally... what would they do about it... would they try to Intervene or just watch from afar to make sure nothing goes horribly wrong... idk thats scary. this girl is smiling pretending like there isnt A Being controlling her every move
#mailbox#this ask's a bit older whoops#trying to get through some of them#like 1 before i go to bed#(if this seems rambly its because im tired and yawning as i type this)
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had an interesting realisation the other day, about how Buck is the only one who has not Purposely left the 118.
Hen decided to leave for med school (even though it was only for like 5 seconds)
Chimney left to find maddie.
Eddie left twice, dispatch and texas.
Bobby tried to retire.
Buck is the only one who has never intentionally left. and honestly at this point i kind of want him to? not permanently, but to stand on his own two feet for a spell and find his confidence.
he is a good firefighter, and someday a good captain, but in the 118 its beginning to seem like he is stuck because of both the solid set chain of command, and because they know him too well.
i kind of want to see buck leave for a change instead of trying to fix everything with the team (especially after how he's been treated this season. the difference between how his '118 family' treat him, and how well his (ex)boyfriend and sister treat him and understood him is vast).
we know buck is a really competent guy, between the s6 freeway collapse, how he stepped up for bobby when he was grieving wendall, the good advice he can give (if one of the others isn't in his ear making fun of him) like with ravi or lucy, and how good a firefighter he is in general. it just so happens that he is always (unintentionally i think) put down by the others who still see buck 1.0 in him and can't let it go. it would be a good arc for him to discover what he can do outside the 118 that he could bring back with him.
#freeway collapse buck saving his whole team with ravi is still one of my favourite moments and def fave buck moments#as well as buck helping those kids like bobby usually would in the lightning strke ep#i wish we got more moments of 'mature' buck because he the fandom like to golden retreiever the man a bit too much#i think an arc of buck filling in at another station would so him some good tbh#show him that hes good at what he does on his own#and also would be nice to see the 118 missing him for a change instead of rhe other way around#would be refreshing tbh#also give me bucktommy back please tommy is one of the few people that actually understands him#this was longer than expected whoops#evan buck buckley#evan buckley#bucktommy#ace rambles
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Okay we see how Bruce, Dick, Jason, Tim and Cass become Yanderes for reader what about Damian, Steph and Babs?
That question is exactly why I'm kind of debating on making a kinda "Part 2.5" sort of thing, and it would show how Tim and Damian got further roped into things like Bruce, Dick, Jason and Cass. Along with how Steph and Babs take the news of "heyyy, um. you know Y/n? yeah that one sibling of ours that's lived here for years that we've barely have like, 10 conversations with collectively? Yeah, that sibling. Uh, we just figured out they've basically been living an entire life without any of us knowing, and might've run away because we were barely involved in their life despite them making multiple attempts to have us be there. So, we kind of need your help to find them. Like. Now-"
Though honestly I'll just put the run down here, so-
Bruce kind of gave Damian the little push he needed before hopping on the train, kind of like what he did with Jason but a little different. With him finding Damian, and some questions being thrown around, before Damian just decides to help look for you.
Honestly I can imagine that Damian wasn't super serious about finding you or anything at first, and was more so just trying to help because Bruce and Dick were looking for you. Hence why he looks for Alfred first with the intention to get the search done and over with. Though, that does begin to change a little when he eventually stumbles upon your room and gets that small glimpse of all he's missed out on after having talked with Alfred.
The room itself doesn't necessarily get to Damian — not like it does with Bruce and Dick — but it's more of the contents of the room itself that get him started on the yandere path.
Honestly, how Damian and Tim begin to develop their more Yandere thoughts and feelings for the reader is through finding something in your room, leading them to find more stuff, and that eventually getting to the thought process of "i didn't know they did this... i would've liked to know about this before/share this thing with them." Which then leads to a more yandere-like mindset.
For Damian (since we're already on the topic of him), he finds that one art award that you got, and becomes curious. Eventually he finds the unfinished art pieces that Bruce had found earlier, and while he isn't impressed or anything at first, the more unfinished pieces he finds the more he kind of begins to see your potential, and that leads to his own thoughts on the matter. With him wishing he knew about how you liked to do art too, and that eventually leads to him thinking that he could've helped you refine your skill, and the both of you could've drawn or painted together.
What strengthens that mindset is when he gets his hands on a notebook that you had used to practice whatever you were struggling with, and left notes for yourself on how you could improve upon certain things as well. Maybe if Damian had known you were into art before, he could've helped you, and you both could've improved together. Refine each other's skills, and just be able to create together. Which Damian really begins to like the thought of. Especially as he sees how you improved the deeper into the notebook he gets.
So, he also sets out to find you, but with a more positive mindset and thought process.
Honestly, out of everyone, Damian is the least worried about you and your well-being. Not because he necessarily has faith in your abilities to stay alive in Gotham, while also potentially being by yourself, but rather he isn't focused on that part? Not as intensely as some of the others, anyway.
Besides, if you were to turn up dead, then he'd have the "you die, I kill you" mindset. You aren't allowed to be dead or 'missing' in his mind, and so you aren't until proven other wise — but even then he's going to need a lot of solid proof to even believe it.
Damian is just more focused on the "we have a common interest and I want to do this thing with them" part of learning that you're into art. Even if you aren't anymore, just knowing that it was something that you used to do is enough to get him jumping on the yandere train. You'll be doing art with him one way or another, and you can't do shit about it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Sure his reasoning isn't a strong, but it's enough to get him started and to go looking for you with the others when they eventually start tearing Gotham apart in hopes to find you. Damian now has a sudden need for quality time and your his main target, sorry not sorry.
Tim on the other hand just sort of, stumbled upon your room, and thanks to Dick was very quickly roped into this mess (as mentioned in "Not Here").
He actually looks through the box with all of your more personal belongs first as Dick tries to call and text you like crazy, while also trying to figure out more stuff.
The first thing he minds is an mp3 player, which, again - as mentioned in "Not Here" held very early versions of songs you were working on at the time, along with some of the very first songs you ever wrote. Which, after listening to a few of them, is immediately a big fan. Though that ends up being both his downfall and how he begins to develop his more yandere tendencies.
Like Dick, you had tried to call and message him about certain performances and such you thought he'd like, and hoped he'd attend, but to no avail. It sucks even more for Tim now because if he had just given your music a chance just a little sooner, maybe things would've been different between the two of you. Maybe you wouldn't have left.
Not to mention that, since he now really loves your music - just knowing that he's wasted so many opportunities to hear more of it, and the completed, fully fleshed out versions of some the songs on the mp3 player makes him upset. He really feels the hit of neglecting you, and that hit only lands harder when he goes through that 'List/Progress' notebook that Bruce had seen earlier in "Not Here".
A notebook which does reveal a lot about you, and how you only did so many activities because you hoped that if anyone in the family was into one of the activities/hobbies you tried, then you'd be able to bond with them over it. Though look at where that got you. Countless awards hung on your walls, with a number of accomplishments to your name - and yet not once were you able to use them for their original purpose. Not once were you able to hold a full, long conversation with any of them about any of the things you've done.
It wasn't even your fault because you tried to put in the work, Tim could really see that now, but you just weren't given the chance to actually put it to good use.
Maybe that's why he ended up helping Dick as much as he did, and maybe that's why he took the time to download some of your songs before heading out to look for you. He wanted to feel closer to you then he really was, and wanted your music to be something shared between the two of you.
Tim wants to not only get closer to you, but to hear everything you've ever made music wise. A want which he fully intends on making a reality.
Stephenie and Barbara are a bit different, however. Since, as stated in "Not Here", both of them are informed of what's going on after everyone else but Damian and Alfred absolutely loses their minds over you not being in the Manor. Though, again, both take the news a bit differently.
Between the two, Steph easily feels the worst. So her motivations and actions — like Bruce, Dick, Jason, Cass, and Tim — are more out of guilt and regret. She already doesn't like the thought of her own neglect having caused you to keep so many things to yourself that you basically hid yourself away, but the idea of her — along with everyone else — having pushed you so far away that you ran away? That... doesn't make her feel good, to say the least.
Sure, she doesn't feel as bad as Bruce or Dick - who easily feel the worst because of their respective roles in the family, and them feeling like they failed to even be a semi-present figure in your life for you to recognize them as your Father and Older Brother (to which they are correct, but aren't aware of that yet) - but it's still enough for her to try and look for you too.
Kind of like Bruce when he was looking in the Manor, Stephanie doesn't know where to start looking, and that only worsens her regret.
I guess her development comes more with time? Since the more she and the others look, not only do her feelings grow, but she also learns more about you as everyone starts sharing information over the intercoms. Things they just found out about you — like how you spent your birthdays alone with Alfred and had waited for them each year until recently, how you made music, what kind of competitions and such you've participated in, who were your teachers, how majority of what you did wasn't even for yourself - but rather a chance that one of the many activities you did try out was something anyone of them were into, so that way you could actually have a conversation with them - and more. (Which may be shown later? Not in a official post/part to the series but perhaps in a sort of side thing that shows the mayhem going on. But who knows?)
Case and point, while they are all looking for you - Steph slowly becomes more yandere for the reader the more she learns about you and how her and the other's actions impacted you. Like some of the others, she wants to make it up to you, but isn't entirely sure how she'd even go about doing that. The more aware she becomes, the harder she falls.
Barbara on the other hand, I'd say, is more lowkey as of now when it comes to her development as a yandere?
I mean, Dick, while very much panicking, basically told her it was an emergency and he really needed her on the bat computer because he had to look for you. Which, in the same breath, gave a list of locations and possible teachers you might've had in the past (you can thank Tim for trying to figure all of that out) and if she could look into it.
It's safe to say that Barbara's introduction into the whole situation was very chaotic. An emotional, worried, and panicked Dick is never a good one, so that was fun to deal with while slowly drowning in confusion.
Eventually, she got the run down and was quick to help, but like Bruce, Cass, Damian, and Jason - she was more confused at the start.
Ouf of everyone, and maybe besides Jason, Barbara has had the least amount of interaction with you - and the room for possible interactions with you for her were much smaller anyway considering that you aren't a vigilante, and never intended to be. So, it only makes sense that one of the people you've easily had the least connection with, was the person who communicated and mainly interacted with the rest of the Batfam when they're doing vigilante work.
What didn't help is that she barely even saw you at events or even holiday gatherings and such the family would have, with you being so neglected that they just... failed to even notice you missing at the time. The day she was introduced to you was when you were first adopted, and that was basically both the first and last full interaction either of you have had with each other. Other than that, she would hear small comments about you sometimes from the others, but even then it wasn't much and those soon died out as one could've guessed.
Even when she was in the Manor, she might've caught a few glimpses of you, but nothing else - so the beginning of her fall into being a yandere is definitely much slowly and lowkey when compared to the others.
I feel as if this whole situation may encourage Babs to want to get to know you better? After all, your disappearance did cause the whole family to basically start a whole manhunt just to find you, so I feel as if that would be enough to get Barbara interested at the very least. Not to mention all of the things she's hearing about you from everyone - it would be nice to try and actually meet you, not just know about you.
In other words, I feel as if Barbara may develop more as a yandere in part 3, seeing as I can see her more yandere tendencies begin to develop once she actually 'meets' you. Y'know what I mean?
So tldr; Damian becomes a yandere for the reader by finding out they're into art/have done art in the past, and now has a deep need to bond with them.
Steph becomes a yandere through her guilt and regret, and like some of the others, want to make it up to the reader.
Babs, on the other hand, hasn't exactly become a yandere just yet, but will once she 'meets' the reader and see them for herself. As of right now, she's just curious, but we'll get there in part 3.
Also, this is unrelated to the ask, but I would like to point out how pretty much everyone in the Batfam thinks you ran away rather then you just leaving. Do what you will with this information for now :]
Anyways, I hoped that answered your question, even if I got a bit rambly! If there's anything else in particular anyone else would like to know, feel free to send in an ask!
#a bit of a ramble- whoops#though that is generally how it goes#and again i might write some of this out- but mostly the things i mentioned about steph and babs#yandere batfam#platonic yandere batfam#platonic yandere#yandere dc#yandere x gn reader#gn reader#sibling reader#neglected reader
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okay pitch for season 8. 911 redux of captain bill hader catching jake and amy making out at work and having a heart attack but gerard walks in on buck and eddie's first ever kiss which inevitably turns into more and just drops fucking dead on the spot.
#sami rambles#in my head it's after the first time eddie goes to church and nothing has been resolved it's actually made him a bit worse in the#immediate aftermath and buck can see it on him so he keeps trying to corner him about it but eddie does not want to talk so eventually#buck corners him in the supply closet and they have a bit of a whispered argument and then eddie just fucking kisses him#and buck kisses back because. this is eddie what else is he gonna do? and also he's forgotten all about his boyfriend who even is that?#and it's messy and desperate and a little bit spiteful but it's them it's them and then the door opens and gerard starts cursing them out#before he clutches his chest and drops to the floor and eddie just gets to work because to him this is a sign from god that he's not allowed#to be gay actually whoops!! so true bestie i will stay in this closet then! meanwhile buck is just malfunctioning#911 spoilers#911 show#buddie#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buck x eddie#911 spec
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Wait can you show the storyboard from when flippy wore the skin of shifty?
Yeah sure, there’s only one board of that actually. Unless you count this one of him striking a funni lil pose!!


I really like his funni little pose. (From TV episode 4A Easy for you to Sleigh)
#htf#happy tree friends#Bonus boards#cw gore#htf shifty#htf flippy#htf fliqpy#GOLLY!!! Finally getting to the inbox sorry for the wait folks <//33#I can uhhh be a bit of a procrastinator sometimes whoops#Anyways onto the actual board related rambles#I had to pick this one up. It wasn’t originally in my personal board collection lol#I actually don’t have many gorey boards in my little stash. I mean yes i definitely have a few#But like that’s only cus I think they’re funni or interesting most of the time lol#Kinda weird tho considering that’s like. The entire point of the show tho lol
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ok, well. if last time i talked about parallels between near & light, i guess it’s only fair that this time i talk about parallels between mello & misa. yap central on this blog lately.
the main thing that stands out the most about mello & misa, and the reason why i will forever Defend them and their place in the story, is that in my mind they both function in a similar way on a narrative level: namely, both of them are incredibly active wild-card characters that keep the action going and the story moving forward when the other main characters like light, L, & near start getting too passive.
notably, while i often see this trait praised in mello, usually in the context of a comparative criticism of near for his overly-abundant passivity, i have also seen it used as a criticism of misa's character, that she breaks up the status quo of DN too significantly and thereby makes the story feel less realistic. this last point in particular is an odd argument to make imo, as if anything misa's presence only increases the realism of DN by adding some extra luck/random chance into the story in a way that is ultimately still character-motivated and thus easier for the audience to go along with-- something DN in general is very good at, often introducing elements through pure chance but keeping them grounded in characters enough that you almost don't even notice.
take light meeting naomi misora, for example: the only reason he runs across her at all is because he offers to run an errand for his mom on a bored laundry day, literally stumbling across her right at the exact moment she is divulging important insights she is literally the only person capable of making about kira. yet this moment does not stand out as particularly aggravating or out of place in the story, as ultimately the only reason why light is able to get out of that situation is his own quick thinking and ability to calm himself while under immense pressure, squeezing his way out of a potentially run-ending situation he didn't even know existed moments prior.
(not a fan of that big joel video, if you couldn't tell. lmao.)
point is, mello & misa both fulfill about the same narrative function in the story by being so aggressive in their actions, catching the others off guard even if their plans aren't as well thought out or careful as they could otherwise be. they're both incredibly passionate, dedicated characters as well, tough enough to take the hit when it inevitably comes, and in my opinion neither of them are nearly as stupid as the other MCs like to make them out to be. to some degree, i think both of them are aware of the fact that they can't win at the Mind Game Cold War Bullshit the others are inclined to get involved in, so they instead choose to carve out their own place in the story through sheer perseverance alone.
which, speaking of passion: one of the most interesting parallels i think you can make between mello & misa is the ways in which they idolize their respective heroes, misa's obviously being light while mello's is L. allow me to elaborate.
as this post points out, DN has some very interesting use of its religious imagery & theming, and in particular its use of christian/catholic gothic imagery in its story and especially its art. however, as op notes, a lot of this is quite superficial, ascribing to an aesthetic of "kitschy Catholicism," that was characteristic of a lot of early 2000s japanese goth style. yet, while i admit that a more serious consideration of religious elements in the art & story could add some interesting flavor to the story, i also think that, regardless of intention, the superficiality of DN's religious elements works really well in the context of this particular story. as i stated in my tags on that post: light is a superficial god. he is a fake, a scam, some idiot human that stumbled across the powers of a real shinigami and got his head up his ass about it. and a lot of the arcs of other characters in DN is about their reaction to light's claims-- whether they choose to follow him (e.g. misa, mikami), follow somebody else (e.g. mello), or follow nobody at all (e.g. near, also kinda soichiro?), and the implications that has for their lives and personalities.
this is all to say that while you can, on a surface level, connect misa & mello pretty easily as the two aggressive, fashionable blondes of the series, i also think that these somewhat superficial traits betray a greater connection between the two of them. if we understand the christian/catholic elements of misa & mello's fashion as a demonstration of their connection to not just a higher power but a lie, a superficial deity simply reflecting the sunlight of powers greater than himself, then i think we have great insight into another key element of both their characters.
do not forget: in the world of DN, heaven & hell do not exist. at least in the context of death itself, the realm & lore of the shinigami reign supreme, a point which the DN musical makes even more overt: "Isn't it a laugh? / Isn't it a shame? / Thinking there is someone in heaven to blame?" and "Going through the motions / as if there will be a reward / Oh, while we stay eternally bored!" (BEST SONGGG.) everyone is destined for the same fate of MU, the same void of nothingness awaits all. no reward, no punishment, no greater deity looking down upon us than the bored, slothful shinigami, lazing about in their realm and picking people off only when necessary (for the most part).
misa & mello are thus dedicating themselves to false idols, and we can see the negative effects this has on them in almost every facet of their character-- particularly for mello, who is perhaps more self-aware and has more of a mixed emotional outlook on his idol, but maybe even to a more extreme degree for misa. i keep going back to this idea of equating boredom with depression in DN, but where light/L/near are all "bored" in a very quiet, passive, stewing-in-bed late at night kinda way, misa & mello are characteristically a lot more aggressive and intense about it-- while neither of them are super overtly suicidal, necessarily, their actions still betray a distinct lack of care for their own safety or lives, expressing the same thematic sentiment as the others. even if they still don't straight up say it, through their actions they're a lot louder about not liking themselves, and seem to take the problems they see in the world more personally, shouldering the blame as a failure within themselves instead of projecting it outward like the others: e.g. light taking his unhappiness at the emptiness of his life at the start of the story & placing the blame on the world for "going to shit" & humanity's moral failings, versus misa being willing to literally & figuratively give up her life for KIRA the second he demands it, whether that be in the form of shinigami eyes or killing her own friends w/o second thought-- all because he was the only thing to bring justice to her own parents' deaths, an almost undoubtedly traumatizing/horrible experience for her considering how much value she places on KIRA/light afterwards.
to clarify, this is not to say that all of these characters are actually and literally depressed and/or suicidal, though you could certainly make that argument for some/all of them-- this is just one way that i think you could interpret their roles in the plot, and their thematic attachment to the story. even if DN isn't all that interested in considering the True Moral Answer to ethics/the justice system/human society/etc, it definitely takes at least some interest in the emotional viewpoints of characters in relation to those concepts, so i think this is a fair enough approach to take. or to say this another way, it's less about justifying the claim that "the world is shit," and more about trying to understand the emotional motivation & experience of feeling like the world is shit, if that makes sense.
that being said...speaking more on the whole "not liking themselves," thing: even if she doesn't say it aloud often, if ever, i think that misa is deeply aware of the fact that she was not supposed to live this long, that her existence at all is a pure stroke of luck that let her live on past her destined date. she dedicates herself to light so fully, not even necessarily expecting reciprocation (though she at least reserves herself the possibility of such), because being a disciple to her god at least gives her life some kind of purpose. similarly, i think mello is also aware of just how out of reach the one thing he wants is, how his desperation in and of itself is ironically the one thing keeping him from surpassing near and truly being #1. it's important to note that pre-time skip misa & post-skip mello are almost exactly the same age, around 20 years old at the time of their main arcs. they're immature, and in the case of mello especially, are lashing out at the world in whatever way they can because they know they don't quite fit into it in the way that they want to or should. regardless of the intent behind it, mello & misa both still make the conscious decision to kill with the DN-- perhaps in a way that still keeps their humanity, at least following near's logic, but it's a decision to end a human life either way.
anyways, going back to my previous point, this "worshiping of false idols," idea has some interesting implications-- for misa & mello yes, but also for L and the ways in which he contrasts again light, as under this logic mello's treatment kind of inherently gives L a similar status as a sort of false god/idol. which-- actually makes a lot of sense? or at the very least, viewing wammy's house as a kind of mystery cult a la the eleusinian mysteries is a neat approach to take. L & light's mutual alienation from humanity fits them both filling a false god status, anyway. also there's another thread of analysis you could follow here where near is instead fit into the role of the person mello is fixated on which AAAAAAAAA has interesting implications but jesus fucking christ, this post is long. some thoughts for another time, i suppose.
#death note#astronaut rambles#misa amane#mello#mihael keehl#mihael when he keehls you.........#damn u choc#the whole 'certified yapper' thing was kind of a joke a few posts ago fucking christ what happened to me#this ended up being about a lot more than just mello & misa oopsie#long post#had to pause in the middle of writing this cuz that ryuk/rem song is way too fucking good goddamn#...which also accidentally ended up being a couple days break. whoops#hope this one is still coherent i fear i got a bit repetitive even as the main points were quite simple =3=''#i should talk about the shinigami at some point... rem desperately needs some good meta around here aklsdfjk#sighh. all in due time#gotta post this now though so i can stop staring at it#ig it's bedtime for apples now. gotta go eepy so i can go grocery shopping tomorrow. :/#it's okay gotta feed yourself somehow#love you guys take care!!
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an old drawing of velvet that never saw the light of day :)
#rwby#rwby fanart#rwby velvet#velvet scarlatina#fanart#my art#digital art#this is from early 2021 so back when i was using sketchbook meaning i dont have the original file for it#so i cant go into its layers- hence the white i added today has a yellow border in places whoops sadjbasjkdb#i drew this as part of a set of all the rwby characters id cosplayed#i have a finished penny also saved and theres a sketch for ruby herself but i never actually finished#(i would need to actually finish up ruby and add weiss in there and then i think??? that would be it?)#i might try finishing the set and then maybe redoing velvet and penny at some point#it might be a while yet though cause i have a lot of things on my to do list atm#but tbh i really like how i did the colouring on this!!! and ive been debating uploading it since i remembered it#n im currently playing hit game that released today + brainstorming ocs so it might be a little bit before i have smth else to post on here#so i thought that was a good excuse to get her outside >:3#i wonder if i can still replicate the colouring style now#anywho! tag ramble over thanks for reading if you got this far skjdbajskd
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(So sorry i feel like im spamkmg yoyr ask box but i just rotate this au around in my brain like microve)
So i was checking out the posts linked through your coi au master post, and this part:
Did this this cut more deep than Donnie intended? Like does Leo still think about this one line even months past? Like does he think, as hes going on his nightly falling/flying sesions how his brothers couldnt even think of leaving april behind but didn't hesitate to leave him behind
Meanwhile donnie and bros dont see it that that. They see leo as equal, even without wings, they never once thought of it as leaving him behind. Because hes their brother, theyd NEVER leave him behind.
But then that got me thinking... did they accidentally like ACTUALLY leave leo behind that first night donnie made his wings. Cause i can see donnie and the ither two being caught up in the joy of flying together for the first time, maybe going too fast for leo to keep up on the rooftops, cementing the idea in his head that his bros dont need him.
This is long winded lol i just got angst on my mind 😭
Spam me all you want!! I may not be able to promise I’ll get to every ask I ever receive, I just don’t have that time, but I CAN promise that I see, read, and overthink everything anyone sends me (ง’̀-‘́)ง So send away!!
As for your question: Absolutely, yes, that moment struck Leo down to his core — but not like. Personally. He knows Donnie didn’t mean it like that! Realistically, he understands that his brothers/sister care just as much about him as he does about them. They’d never purposefully leave him behind!! At the end of the day, he trusts that, should he ever get seriously knocked down, his family would turn right back around to help him get back up.
But he still has a MAJOR barrier that he sees between them. One that Donnie AND April are now able to literally fly over. And now that he’s outnumbered, that wall feels even higher than before. He’s not alone, not ever, but it certainly feels like it sometimes…
And all of that is exactly why he doesn’t want to say anything. He not only feels a little silly to have this impossible dream in the first place (his hoard is literally birds and butterflies and shit, that’s so weird and pathetic, isn’t it???), but he doesn’t WANT them to worry about him. He doesn’t want them to turn tail and come back just to make sure he’s keeping up with them. He can’t hold them back like that!
It’s better to pretend he’s on the same level, train himself into the ground (even literally if that’s what it takes) to prove he’s on the same level, make them focus on his stellar swimming skills that are (to them) on par to their flying, than for them to ever realize that all he’ll ever do is look up at them from below.
Also, yes, after Dee made his first fully functioning flight pack, they all went on a quick flight around the city. April was the one to suggest they move it to the ocean so Leo could at least keep up with them and cheer them on…
#I love when an asker apologizes for writing too long of an ask#and I proceed to inadvertently answer in just as much of a ramble#if not longer#whoops#enjoy the Leo angst study I guess—#also to clarify#Leo does love his hoard#his hoard is his happy place#but sometimes it does make him feel a bit… childish#in moments of weakness#asks#dragons rise au#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt#rise leo#rottmnt leo#TMNT#coi au#curse of icarus
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Anon who asked about my thoughts on Luke Fox + Duke Thomas' relationship I'm so sorry because you're about to read a thesis-length post 😭😭😭 I did not realise how many thoughts I had about the two of them... I'm at 1000 words and not even halfway 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#whoops...#i can't help it I was thinking about the two of them as foils and my brain lit UP#i will try to make it as succinct as possible i ramble a bit too much#trust I will finish it soon!!
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Ratio/Aventurine can go two ways:
1. Ratio viewing Aventurine as…not a science experiment, but something interesting pull apart and study, enabling his worst behaviors just to see the consequences, whatever they may be
2. Ratio refusing to let Aventurine burn himself out, treating him with care because no one else will (including himself and excluded Topaz)
In either case, Ratio’s attention is firmly fixed on Aventurine because he’s smart and can actually hold an intelligent conversation with Ratio. He may not be able to explain in minute detail how something works like Ratio can, but he knows how to get the results he wants and practical knowledge is still knowledge. A gambling fool Aventurine might be, but never an idiot or stupid
Also, Ratio realizing he likes Aventurine and being Mad about it is so funny. Aventurine may realize he cares about Ratio, but it would be hard for him to accept and admit his own feelings because he feels guilty for any comfort he finds and doesn’t think he deserves it unless there’s an edge to it
I like to think they had a…relationship of sorts going into Penacony, because it makes things a whole lot more painful. It balances out afterwards though, because we don’t know if he’s entirely free of the IPC, but the less Aventurine is attached to the IPC, the less he has to keep up his facade and the more Ratio gets to see the man underneath, whether he goes by Aventurine, Kakavasha or a different name entirely
#Aventurine#Dr Ratio#Ryn plays Honkai Star Rail#RatioRine#I’m personally in favor of option 2#also this post doesn’t mention it but I am also in favor of qpr AvenPaz#I like the idea that Topaz and Ratio would work together to make sure Aventurine was taken care of#post Penacony where Topaz shows up at Ratio’s looking like an absolute wreck#and they’ve interacted before; they’re on relatively good terms all things considered#and Ratio lets her in because what else can he do?#Topaz being the first one to know Aventurine’s not Gone and being the reason he sees Ratio again#because she knows how much they mean to each other#Aventurine is a lot more well taken care of when Ratio around and Topaz isn’t about to let that go after Penacony#well my tags got a bit off topic and rambly whoops
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I miss Sonic |;A;/
#knox rambles#last day of in person math and i desperately need to get these practice questions and the assignment done cause if i sure wont be doing#it at home my brain dont work like that#feeling wheeeelmmeeed#maybe even overwhelmed.....#anyway missing sonic hours and squinting at why people are reblogging two yo lmk posts of mine and mansplaining in the comments#leave me alone man go make ur own posts i wanna think about sonic not read you telling me i should like something i dont enjoy shoo#i wanna draw sonniiiic#gonna rewrite that knuckles fic for tje eighth time cause its still clunky#yeah definitely feeling overwhelmed sorry y'all if i dont get around to answering asks or if i missed a question somewhere i realy aint been#lookin :(#this turned into a little bit of a vent in the tags whoops#vent#delete later
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I've watched Inception and The Wild Robot for the first time today. I'm fine! No, truly, I'm fine!
#i didnt Cry but i was p close for both LOL#i was actually trying to watch twr last night but#it was late .#i fell asleep .#like constantly#i was waking and sleeping waking and sleeping waking and sleeping#incredible movie though holy shit#roz ras and ra's i love u all now <333#raine's rambles#the wild robot#inception#inception was pretty cool#incredible visuals and the twist was insane ...#they rlly were just stacking dreams on dreams on dreams#speaking of dreams i got my first and only dreamzzz set today but that aint matter#tbh for inception i think my only issue was there was a part where it rlly just Drags for a bit to me at least .#its not that big of a deal tho#the scene w fischer getting that false idea planted in was so good it was such a nice resolution#it leaves you in two minds about the whole thing#on the one hand the heroes succeeded ! yeah !#on the other they have completely altered the course of Everything for this guy via a false notion#he may be happier but it was never true ...#and the thing w the spinner at the end. ..#ohh my god#can i just pretend i got the happy ending instead AUGHH...#good day for me today actually !#might have been my best one in a while...#not me YAPPING in the tags when i have a project to finish WHOOPS !!!
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It's 10pm, I've been dealing with sucky depression junk all day, and I STILL can't get my head on straight long enough to do that ask game or art stuff for my Agent (chrysali i know i call you a feral cat gremlin but can you stop acting like one for a bit and and TALK TO ME AGAIN PLEASE), but the doodlin'/thinkin' 'bout my Consular is bringing a smidge of needed seratonin so yay! Rough draft stuff from her design sheet (a.k.a. me being bored and playing the artist's version of paper dolls, which is what ocs are for right?)


Left is Knight, the preview-annoyingly-cropped-by-Tumblr one on the right is Master/Council member (specifically the oufit she wears while stationed at the Temple, I haven't designed Master-era field gear for her yet) Please ignore the belt on her Knight outfit I tweaked the design and then forgot to go back and change it, it should look more like the one on the Master one
#K8's Art#K8 Rambles about SWTOR#SWTOR OC: Ataraxia Kestis#could i go back and color in the datapad and noetikons? probably. am i going to? not right now#i like sneaking jedi temple guard/high republic era aesthetic stuff into her outfits. feels fitting for a consular#if ataraxia looks a lot like my smuggler that is On Purpose they are actually twin sisters and *mostly* get along. ish 🤣#she also bamboozles me because i have such a strong idea of her character/personality and yet i go to write her and she's... elusive kinda?#she's like the opposite of writing reilly. ry wants to be all mysterious loner smuggler but everyone figures her out almost immediately#(which probably means i'm doing smth right with rax cuz that's what i was aiming for but c'mon i'm the writer i gotta know a lil bit! 😭)#whoops word vomited again sorry#star wars#the old republic#star wars the old republic#swtor#swtor jedi consular#swtor oc#jedi oc#fan art
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