#who thought DIFFERENTLY about his actions than you

[harmonysanreads]

Idk if you saw but Phainon apparently has a hobby in appraising antiques. Just imagine if for his partner he fondly refers to them as his greatest or most priceless treasure. Though on the other hand, it certainly gives "dragon coveting its hoard" kinda vibes. Possibly romantic depending on who you ask, but it speaks volumes of how much he cherishes them.

Yup I've seen his shenanigans regarding this and I must thank you because, I feel like this is a great opportunity to discuss how possessive Phainon can be.

The idea seems contradictory to what Aglaea and Tribbie have told us about him — he's selfless, willingly takes on more burden than he should and pushes himself constantly to meet that image of a ‘perfect vessel’ in order to protect Amphoreus. The term possessiveness should be absolutely unthinkable to be put in the same sentence as his name. Such a noble hero couldn't possibly be... selfish, right?

Phainon himself battles with these doubts, well, it would be more precise to say that he's the one who thinks about it the most out of anyone living in Amphoreus.

The first time he notices the evidences of that particular behavior, it has to be pointed out by someone ; you, one of his comrades or just a random person. Phainon relies on external validation to a degree, his sense of self can be altered through a strong enough comment on his personality.

The process of it developing isn't different from how it would be for anyone ; an attachment to you is secured, outside influences threaten it, he realizes a need to be in your presence more, becomes annoyed when your attention is stolen until it reaches to a point where he's actively trying to maintain it on himself alone. But the thing is, he's so swept up in all the emotions of being in love that he doesn't stop to process them all for quite some time. That's why an external call out is required.

Perhaps it would've been best if no one pointed it out to begin with, because now he's simmering in guilt and shame in his head. The Chrysos Heir is notably rigid for some time, mulling over his every action and word until he's caught in analysis paralysis. Because even if he'd like to convince himself that he's nonchalant, he cares about how you perceive him, a lot.

At the same time as this inner turmoil almost frying him, there is no notable change in his paranoia — if anything, it gets worse. The more he tries to test distance and respect for your personal time and space, the more his anxiety worsens, suddenly devoid of a medium to soothe it with. Two greeting texts increases to ten, phone calls are no longer enough, he needs to see that you're okay and safe.

At one point, a sinister thought somehow plants itself in his mind. He's lost so much ; his home, his family, his friends, his peace and his identity. But he continues sacrificing more, he continues giving up things for the sake of others, for a future marked by uncertainty. Now that there is someone who makes him happy, who he finds solace in, who he genuinely loves... he's demanded again to ‘tone it down’ when all he wants is to spend time with them? Is that not unfair to him?

And well, he brushes it off quickly — not that it completely goes away. These ideas only really torment him when he's not with you, which is another reason why separation will have a physical effect on him if it is extended to a point. Which direction all these inner conflicts and overthinking will take him towards, depends on him alone.

As for the ‘evidences’ mentioned previously, they're so him that it's honestly difficult to tell whether he's being driven by something less than innocent. He usually tends to whine and sulk to prolong your presence, gives you the doe eyes and kicked puppy look. There is also the matter with texts and calls as mentioned previously. He responds to your texts very quickly and tries to keep conversations going for as long as possible, low-key spirals if you're taking too long to respond and insists on hearing your voice, unless you tell him strongly that you aren't comfortable with it.

Is not afraid of showing physical affection in public, likes holding hands and/or linking arms with you at all times. Uses his height to his advantage as well, as in, serving as your personal shield — whether you want it or not. He doesn't really lash out at people, unless of course, they were rude to you. Given his naturally amicable personality, most people don't try to do something outrageous in front of him either. His jealousy is kind of obvious as well and since he tends to use the ‘kicked puppy method’ frequently, it can be difficult to take it seriously, to be honest. Make sure to not let your guard down though.

As for the matter of him calling you his treasure, I personally like to think that he sees his darling as above him, above everyone actually. Treasure implies towards something that was acquired and typically has a material value. Phainon is out there thanking fate and every holy being everyday for blessing him with someone like you, he struggles to even answer the question of ‘what he likes most about you’ (it's everything). He might say it out of affection in the spur of a moment once, but in his heart, your worth exceeds the notion of treasures.

[redhoodlover1]

Richard Grayson x Reader

⋆★ synopsis: Barbara's new apprentice taking over her role for the time of her absence seemed to spike Richard's curiousity

⋆★word count: 828

It was unlike Barbara to take a break willingly with her tendency to overwork herself. And Richard was pleased when she admitted that she's taking a short break from being Oracle. Of course, the bats would do fine enough without her for some time. But Barbara surprised him by saying that her apprentice would replace her in her absence. He had no idea she even had an apprentice.

Dick also had no idea who the person mentioned by Babs was. "You know we could manage everything without someone new," he pointed out. "Oh, don't complain, they'll be helping you on patrol for a while. It's not such a big deal."

And the patrol was when Dick first heard your voice. He stood on the roof of a building in Gotham. His escrima sticks seemed strangely heavier that day, as did the silence that surrounded him.

He waited until his comms finally catch a signal, and then he heard a simple "Hello."

__________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

What Dick did not know, however, was that Babs' break would be longer than he thought. He had no idea what you looked like, except for your name he theoretically knew nothing about you. However, your voice continued to be with him on most patrols.

Today was no different. You gave him the locations of some criminals with nefarious intentions, he got on with it and that's how you spent the rest of the night. Sometimes he even felt watched, and it totally wasn't like you were watching him through the city surveillance. 

Dick sat on the edge of the roof and listened as you tapped your fingers on the keyboard for some time. "So... Jiminy, you won't even tell me that I did a good job?"  Dick didn't need additional conscience, he already had pretty good morals. Still, you were a bit like Jiminy Cricket to him, talking into his ear, even if, more often than not, you did find yourself mocking him at times like those.

"So now you're waiting to get praised? Nope, that's not like me." you hum. "And I'm not your Jiminy."

"I know, I know... But do you have to be so mysterious?" Dick said the last word in a strange and hushed voice, trying to mimic your behavior through it. "Oh, come on. You know who I am without me telling you! And you won't even tell me what you like to drink. You start to act like a creep," he whined in your ear. He did that just to figure out what makes you tick.

"I'm not a creep," you denied with that unbothered tone of yours. "Why do you even need to know what I like to drink?"

"Because, maybe I would like to buy you a coffee or tea or whatever, for your help. I'm trying to show my gratitude here." 

You couldn't help the way the corner of your mouth lifted at his words, but you'd rather keep playing. "A thanks is enough..." you said simply. "Just a thanks?"

And that's when the silence that Richard usually tries to fill came. However, when he was ready to open his mouth he heard you say something that was probably not directed at him. "Ace... Hmm."

"Ace? Hold on, are you playing solitaire right now?"

“Possibly...” you hum. “Anyway, the sun is about to rise, so I'm going offline in an hour.” You didn't give him time to answer when his comms went quiet. Dick knew he had an hour to talk with you, but it was pointless. Seemingly his charms aren't working on you, which made him sigh.

__________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

Dick was a man of action, a simple thank you was not enough for him as it is for you. Today he had a day off from patrol, so he had no chance to ask you pointless questions again. He liked to know things, but you didn't give him the satisfaction of knowing anything about you.

Of course, what would be a better place for such musings than the park with coffee in hand. But first he had to get the coffee, and that's what he was heading for.

He was greeted on the spot by the cashier. Dick walked up to the counter and their voice made him stop for a moment. “What can I get for you?” they asked, face kind, but a little tired and unbothered. "Hello? Sir, is everything alright?"

"Ah yes, you just sound really familiar... One Americano with a shot of espresso, please."

They nodded and Dick didn't even notice when the coffee was handed to him. His name was elegantly written on the cup. "That'll be... $4.25." "Thank you," he muttered and placed the money on the counter, taking the steaming cup.

When Dick found himself outdoors again, his thoughts again returned to you. However, this time he tried not to bother his head with it too much. He just took a sip of his coffee and started walking.

A/N: That looked better in my head, but that's alright I guess. Dick Grayson the man you are...

[kinardsevan]

i'm coming home to you (every night)

(I have a very firm theory on where 816 will go and ofc had to write it.)

Evan wakes up in the hospital, still on a ventilator. He’s already attempting to vocalize, trying to tell anyone available to listen about the god-awful nightmare he’s just woken up from. He’d thought his first coma dream had been bad after the lightning strike, but somehow, it couldn’t even compare to the version of events he’s just woken from. A world without Bobby in his first coma dream had been terrible, but somehow, the idea of a world in which he was able to have Bobby and then lost him after the cartel had set fire to his home feels even worse. 

He tries to make noise again, his brow furrowing at the vibration of the tube in his throat irritating him enough to fill him with at least half a dozen questions. 

“Fuck, you’re awake.” 

Evan’s gaze trails up as he looks next to him where the voice had come from and sees Tommy. His eyes soften at the pilot. For the two times he’s now seen Tommy look devastated, there’s something entirely different about the way he looks today. Maybe it’s the fear, but the redness around his eyes makes it clear that he hasn’t been doing well. The bags beneath them suggest he hasn’t been sleeping either, and Evan wants to ask questions about that as well, but his current predicament is preventing that. 

Tommy brushes the back of his fingers over the side of Evan’s cheek, and the younger man leans into it, lifting his hand up to Tommy’s and interlacing their fingers. 

He doesn’t remember everything from the last time he was awake, but he’s pretty clear on the last thing Tommy said to him.

“I need to get the doctor,” Tommy tells him, sniffling. More tears are coming down his face, but the small smile on his face suggests that they’re probably of relief. Evan squeezes his fingers tighter and his smile grows a bit. “I know, baby. I’ll be right back. Stay awake for me, okay?” 

Evan nods, letting go of Tommy’s hand. The pilot crosses the room and opens the door, only to return a few seconds later, tailed by a physician, Maddie, and Chimney. 

“Thank God,” Maddie states tearfully. She’s wearing a mask and gloves, which is mildly concerning to Evan, but her bump is a quick reminder to the fact that she’s pregnant and it’s not just her at risk of any room she enters. 

He points at her as he looks up at the doctor, his brow furrowed in confusion. 

“We’re just taking extra precautions,” Chimney explains. 

“There’s no reason to assume that you’re still contagious,” Tommy adds. 

The physician that accompanied into them into the room does a quick check of Evan’s vitals and the various machines he’s attached to before opening his chart on the tablet in his hands. 

“You’re doing much better than you have been, Mr. Buckley,” the man explains. “Your oxygen saturation was pretty low when you came in, and we’re working on weaning you off the ventilator as your sats have continued to rise back up. We should have it out in the next day or so.” 

Evan nods at the man before his attention is back on Tommy and Maddie. When she reaches the side of his bed, he rests his hand over her stomach, feeling the firm pressure of his nephew’s kicking. His fever dream nightmare hadn’t just had Bobby dying in the housefire. It was also a version of the world where the woman who kidnapped Maddie got away with her actions due to Athena’s inability to deal with losing Bobby. 

“How’s his fever,” Maddie asks as the doctor runs the temporal thermometer across his forehead. It takes a few seconds, but the machine beeps and he lifts it. 

“Still hovering just under 102, but it’s a marked improvement even from earlier today,” the man answers. 

“But the half-life of the virus-..” 

“Was about twenty-four hours,” he answers her. “He stopped being contagious before he got here.” 

Maddie, Tommy, and Chimney all nod at the doctor’s explanation, and he turns back toward his tablet. He makes notes in it and then promises to have regular check-ins before leaving the room. Tommy settles into the chair beside him while Maddie squeezes the hand still resting over her stomach lightly. 

“We were worried about you,” she tells Evan. He looks up at her with sad eyes, wanting to tell her that she shouldn’t worry—that it’s not good for the baby—but he knows it wouldn’t do any good. 

Evan turns his head toward Tommy and then looks back at his sister, using his free hand to point at the pilot. Maddie snorts. 

“I tried. He refused to leave,” she comments. Evan looks back at the pilot, scowling at him. 

“Evan, you literally passed out in my arms,” Tommy tells him, his voice gruff. “I wasn’t-….I couldn’t.” 

There are so many responses to the end of that statement that he knows the pilot isn’t saying. Couldn’t leave you behind. Couldn’t be without you. Couldn’t let ‘I love you’ be the last thing said between us. 

He lifts his free hand to Tommy’s cheek, staring up at him as the pilot looks back at him. He brushes his thumb against Tommy’s lips, vaguely aware of the fact that their helipad kiss could’ve put the pilot at risk after he’d spent an entire day trying to survive hijackers with a live virus in his helicopter. All of Athena’s work could’ve been for nothing. 

The pilot stares back at him, his eyes shiny with tears unshed—maybe tears he’s too exhausted to give at this point—but there’s a knowing between the two of them as Evan stares at him. Tommy turns his head and kisses Evan’s palm as the younger man blinks wearily at him, clearly starting to fight keeping his eyes open. 

“Baby you’re out of the woods, but you’re still very sick,” the pilot murmurs as he leans forward toward the bed, resting his arms on the edge of it. “Please rest.” Evan’s thumb moves against his cheek as he stares back at the pilot, only having his gaze to communicate begging the other man to do the same. Tommy just smiles wearily at him. 

Eventually, Evan’s eyes slip shut, and they don’t open again. 

“Buckaroo, you need to stay calm,” Athena says from beside him as they wait by the elevator to the helipad. “Raising your heart rate is only going to make the infection spread faster.” 

He knows that. He’s well aware of the fact that whatever these people managed to smuggle out of CalTech’s labs and somehow infect him with on a timeline; that if he’s not careful, he could expire before Tommy and Bobby bring the antidote to save him. 

Still, Tommy and Bobby risked their lives to get this antidote. They’re still risking their lives by trying to stop those involved from creating a full-on outbreak of another pandemic, and he just… he needs Tommy to know. 

The helicopter grows closer—close enough that he can practically feel the whipping from the rotor blades in his bones as it lowers down, until the helicopter is finally down on the helipad, and then the machine is whirring down as Tommy turns it off. 

When he and Bobby finally emerge from the bird, all bets are off. He takes off in their direction, and by the time he and Tommy reach each other in the middle, the pilot’s arms are already ready for him, quickly wrapping around him as Evan’s go tight around his neck. 

“I’m sorry,” he mutters into Tommy’s neck. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it. I never meant it.” 

“I know,” Tommy murmurs into his ear, holding him closely. “I’m sorry, too. I should’ve stayed, both times. I should’ve-..” 

“I love you,” Evan says, leaning back enough to look at Tommy as he cradles the pilot’s head in his hands. “I love you so much. I’ve loved you for so long now, I just-..” 

“I know,” Tommy tells him, brushing a hand down his face. “I love you too, baby.” His gaze skates down Evan’s face and then back up to his eyes. “But baby, you’re so warm. We need to get you inside.” 

“I know,” Evan answers, feeling the bone-tired weariness in his bones as the words leave his mouth. “I just- I needed to tell you. I needed you to know.” 

Tommy nods quickly, still staring down at him. “I do. I do know.” Evan pulls him into a kiss, and the pilot doesn’t stop him, kissing him back, though they both keep their mouths closed. When they part, Tommy’s eyes are on him again. “I’ve loved you since that first night in your kitchen. I’ve- Evan. Evan?!” 

. . . . .

He wakes up coughing. Monitors beep out-of-sync, loud and erratically as people funnel into the room. He’s still only half-awake and his vision is blurry at best as doctors talk to him. It all happens so quickly that one minute he’s choking, and the next, the breathing tube is out as he sucks down gulps of air as an oxygen mask is fitted over his face. 

There’s more talking, and then doctors are leaving the room, and he finally becomes aware of his surroundings again as Tommy perches on the edge of the bed, looking down at him as his fingers brush across Evan’s cheek. He looks as though he’s gotten some sleep as well, if his eyes are anything to go by, although Evan doesn’t think that the chair beside his bed is the best option. 

He takes a few seconds to remember the feeling of saliva in his mouth, inhaling and exhaling in deep breaths still as he looks up at Tommy. 

“I shouldn’t have kissed you,” he rasps when he finds his words. 

“What do you mean,” Tommy asks, still staring down at him. 

“Could’ve killed you,” Evan answers, bringing his hand up against Tommy’s on his cheek. “The infection-..” 

“Had run its course by the time we saw each other again,” Tommy answers. “I was fine.” 

“Are you sure?” Evan asks. 

Tommy nods. 

“I had a nightmare fever dream,” Evan states. “Bobby died in the fire. We broke up sooner and Gerrard still ended up at the 118 again. Eddie still left. Maddie died.” 

Tommy frowns at him. “That sounds awful.” 

“It was,” Evan murmurs. “Bobby-..” 

“Bobby’s taking some vacation days right now, but he’s been up here keeping vigil,” Tommy tells him. “He worries a lot about you.” There’s a wistful smile on his face, and Evan can’t help but be reminded of their conversation a year ago when Tommy had mentioned the jealousy of their relationship. 

“I’m glad you weren’t alone,” Evan tells him. Tommy’s gaze flits back up to his eyes and he shakes his head as a small laugh escapes him. 

“I wasn’t. There wasn’t a single moment I was here alone,” he states. If anything, I was reminded that it’s not just your crew.” 

The corner of Evan’s mouth pulls up at his words. 

“Our crew,” he murmurs back. 

“Always around when things go wrong,” Tommy adds. Evan nods. “Especially when things go wrong.” 

The younger man closes his eyes briefly, and Tommy’s fingers brush through his hair in a way he usually only does after sex, and it always puts Evan to sleep. He huffs after a minute and opens his eyes.

“Don’t wanna sleep right now,” he murmurs. “Wanna…wanna know what’s next.” 

Tommy inhales a breath, raising his eyebrows slightly. “Well, first you get better, and then you go home and get better some more.” 

“And then,” Evan asks. 

“And then we take it a day at a time,” Tommy replies. “We lay it all out on the table, and see where that takes us.” 

Evan nods. He closes his eyes again and focuses on breathing for another minute. When he speaks again, his eyes are still closed. 

“Said I didn’t know what I was ready for last year,” he murmurs. “But I do know now, and I still think that it could be with you, if you’re willing.” 

He opens his eyes, feels them getting heavy again, but he’s determined to see Tommy when the pilot answers. 

The older man smiles down at him, his fingers brushing through Evan’s curls again. 

“I’m more than interested,” he responds softly. “But for now I just want you to focus on getting better. Think you can do that for me?” 

Evan nods, lets his eyes slide shut again. He turns into Tommy’s hand once more, sighing softly when the pilot rests it against his cheek again. 

“I love you, Tommy,” he says, hardly above a whisper. 

Light fades around him, and then warm lips press into his temple. 

“I love you too, Evan Buckley,” Tommy whispers next to his ear. “So much more than I ever thought possible.” 

[alchemistc]

@a-mel0n's tags on the Helena gifset I reblogged made me take a step back and think for a bit.

I have a metric fuckton of my own issues that play into the way Helena Diaz makes me feel, but trying to look at it as unbiased as I can:

There's a large contingent of people who have IMMENSE derision for a Helicopter Mom, and the way they interpret her actions is just baked in misogyny on top of it. I'm a little scared to look at the tags on that post beyond the ones in my own notifications but I am assuming there's a lot of things in there that would make me go 'yeah but...she's not wrong'.

(If she were my mother we would fight to the death five times a week or I would have ghosted her years ago, but that's a me issue.)

A lot of the dogpiling seems to come from the fact that she's simultaneously dismissive of Eddie and holier-than-thou about the way Eddie parents. And I don't necessarily disagree with those points - there's a very specific reason her tone sticks in my craw and makes me irrationally upset, because it's a very specific behavior that when looked at in pattern is incredibly noticeable and incredibly demeaning.

The scene that tipped me over the edge on Helena isn't even in that gifset - it was when she couldn't be bothered to carry the fucking laptop over to where Chris's friends were singing him HBD, because that tipped the line from "I've been half-raising this child in your absence, this is a pattern of behavior on your part and I'm just trying to keep your son on even ground." to "I do not care about the relationship you have with my your son or the fact that you must be missing him."

In the end, Chris is the one who made the decision to leave, to go live with his grandparents, and they obliged because they love him. Eddie can't and shouldn't fault them for that.

And let's be real. Eddie's a fucking mess. Eddie has BEEN a fucking mess since he knocked up his girlfriend as a teenager and he's never fully recovered from that. He was already expected to be the man of his house BEFORE that, too. He's taken hit after hit after hit but I'm not sure what he's learned from it? That could be a narrative issue but he tends to go with the flow until he can't anymore and then throw live grenades at the issue.

Where I take issue with Helena is the way she just treats Eddie like he should Do Better without actually ever sitting down and having a serious conversation with him. She lectures, she hovers, she makes snide comments, and most of the time she's RIGHT but she doesn't get through to Eddie because her approach is ... atrocious. And she knows it, but she never fucking tries a different way.

And it stinks of Chris being her do-over kid. (Son, specifically, since we don't know anything about her daughters.) She could never bridge the gap and she's disappointed with the way Eddie's life has panned out but this time, this time the kid she's raising appreciates her, listens to her, wants her around, so she keeps holding on to that.

She's not evil, and she's nowhere close to being the worst parent among the 118 mains, but she's a perfect portrayal of the kind of parent who gets away with being cruel because she's just so focused on making sure her grandson's needs are met. She's the kind of parent who will turn a conversation on its head because she feels like she's being unfairly attacked when the conversation wasn't even about her.

I have sympathy for her: her son, the boy who had to be responsible for too much, too early, left her with a new daughter-in-law and a new baby while he fucked off to do what he thought was the right and correct thing to take care of his family. She lived that with her own husband, so I'm sure her priority has been Chris for a LONG time. But just like Eddie (like mother like son) she's done zero learning or growing from the time Eddie's been taking care of Chris on his own.

I think she's fascinating. I want to shake her by the shoulders until she's mildly concussed. I want her to consider that maybe they ALL need fucking therapy. I want her to look at her son and see an adult who is struggling and could use her support and guidance instead of her couched disapproval of anything he does. I would love for her to make a tenth of the effort with Eddie that she does with Chris.

She makes me so mad I wanna scream, but I think the thing that annoys me most is how the show treats her like an obstacle for Eddie to be able to raise his son, when they COULD be trying to figure out how to make it work together.

[calina-alda]

What moral boundaries do you think Leon is willing to blur for Albert, and what actions of Albert he will never be able to accept (or will he accept them anyway)?

How do they deal with Albert being a «villain» and Leon being a «hero»?

And in the end, will Leon be able to save Albert from his dark side?

That’s such a complex question and one I’ve thought about a lot while writing Falling Through the Cracks. Honestly, I could write a whole essay about it, but I’ll try to keep it somewhat brief, lol

Let’s start with Leon.

He has a strong moral compass, and while older, more hardened Leon doesn’t see the world in black and white the way rookie Leon once did, he still fundamentally believes in the good in people. That belief doesn’t make him naive, it’s actually what makes him so resilient. He knows how dark the world can be, but he chooses to keep his heart intact anyway.

When it comes to moral boundaries, there aren’t many Leon would be willing to blur, especially not the big ones. He would never excuse or justify Wesker’s past crimes, the people he’s killed, manipulated, or used. Leon would acknowledge that those actions were wrong, no matter the justification. But what he would believe in is the possibility of change. He’s seen it before, Luis being a great example. Leon is the type of person who believes people can do better if they genuinely want to, and he would support Wesker if he saw that he was trying to change and doing so honestly.

The only boundaries Leon might blur would be around how Wesker operates, especially if it’s about taking down bad people. Rookie Leon would’ve been firmly against any sort of vigilante or morally gray tactics. But older Leon? He’s more pragmatic. As long as innocent people aren’t harmed, he could accept that Wesker has a different way of dealing with threats. He wouldn’t like it, but he’d understand it, if it comes from a place of protecting rather than controlling.

Leon could very much be pulled in by Wesker, and not just emotionally. Wesker’s authority, his control, the danger he radiates, it’s all something that could deeply attract Leon, especially in moments where he feels lost or powerless. Wesker is the kind of man who commands a room, who never wavers, who always seems like he knows exactly what he's doing. For someone like Leon, who often feels like he's barely holding it together behind a composed front, that kind of dominance could be intoxicating.

There’s a version of their relationship, especially in a moment of vulnerability, where Leon could fall into something physical with Wesker. Something impulsive and charged with tension, desire, even comfort in a twisted way. But afterwards, he would drown in guilt and self-hatred. Because Leon knows who Wesker is. He knows what he’s done. And no amount of chemistry or connection could erase that.

Leon is someone who struggles with carrying the weight of everything, people he couldn't save, the moral compromises he's been forced to make over the years. And sleeping with someone like Wesker, knowing the blood on his hands, would haunt him. He would question his own judgment, his values, his identity as someone who is supposed to fight for good. The conflict would eat at him.

And that’s the thing, Leon could never justify their relationship if Wesker stays Wesker. If Wesker remains the man who believes in control, in domination, in sacrificing others for the sake of his ideals, then no matter what feelings Leon might have for him, it would never be enough. Leon would pull away. He would always feel torn, guilty, and ultimately heartbroken. Their dynamic would mirror the one Leon has with Ada in many ways. He’s always been drawn to her, always hoping she’d choose the right side. Wesker would be even more intense, would always be doomed to self-destruction.

When it comes to Wesker, opening up and relying on others would be one of the hardest things he could ever do. He was raised in an environment where vulnerability was seen as weakness, where trust only led to betrayal, and where the only way to survive was to stay three steps ahead of everyone else. Umbrella didn’t just train him, they dismantled him, piece by piece, until nothing was left but the perfect asset. His name, his identity, his autonomy, all of it stripped away and replaced with cold purpose. Even his ideology, his belief in superiority and control, wasn’t something he came to on his own. It was planted in him, like the virus, by Spencer and the system that raised him.

So for Wesker, the idea of letting someone in, truly letting them in, is foreign and terrifying. He’s spent his entire life being in control, emotionally detached, the one with the upper hand in every relationship. To rely on someone would mean admitting he needs them, and that's a kind of power he’s never been comfortable giving up. Even affection, to him, is a calculated risk.

Wesker has always seen humanity as corrupt, selfish, and weak-minded. But Leon? Leon is the exception. He’s strong and kind. He helps others not out of obligation or self-interest, but because he genuinely cares. He shows resilience without cruelty, vulnerability without weakness. He was also shaped into a weapon, but unlike Wesker, he never lost his heart. That contrast would deeply affect Wesker. It would confuse him, anger him even, because it challenges everything he’s built to protect himself.

He wouldn’t know how to handle it at first. He might lash out, retreat, test Leon’s patience and loyalty in cruel ways, because deep down, he’s terrified that if he opens that door, everything will come crashing down. That if someone sees him for who he really is, not the weapon, not the monster, but the broken, furious, abandoned man underneath, they’ll leave.

Learning to trust someone like Leon would be a slow, painful process. But if anyone could do it, it would be Leon. It wouldn’t be easy. For a man who’s spent his entire life building walls, learning to let someone in would be the hardest battle he’s ever fought.

Leon could be the person who shows Wesker what it means to be more than a tool or a project, he could teach him to be human again. And in turn, Wesker could be the one who helps Leon let his guard down and rely on someone else, without constantly needing to play the role of the unshakeable protector.

In the end, yes, I believe Leon could save Wesker, not in the typical “hero saves villain” sense, but by helping him rediscover who he is without all the programming and control. But it would only work if Wesker wants to be saved.

Welp, I think I went overboard... I am just so passionate about them, I can’t help it 🥲

[jikooklove9795]

On Twitter recently there’s been JK & Jins special bond threads going round, JK & RM, JK & V, JM & JHope, JM & Suga - everyone is retweeting them and hyping them up. And yet every. single. one. of JK & JM recently has been reported and copyrighted and taken down. It really says a lot about the state of the fandom right now. Sad to see :(

Hi there 😊

What Anon mentioned is a significant concern that shouldn't be overlooked.

For the past two years, I have been wondering if there any true OT7s (other than jkkrs) who genuinely appreciate Jimin and Jungkook's bond. I'm not even talking about acknowledging their relationship in a romantic light but just as close friends who have shared years of memories, experiences and an undeniable connection. But it feels like the majority of the fandom will go to greater lengths to dismiss or downplay their dynamic, latching onto anything that shifts attention away from them.

Its frustrating because regardless of how one interprets their relationship, there's no denying that Jimin and Jungkook have always had a special bond. Yet so called OT7s seem to erase or ignore that closeness WHILE readily celebrating other friendships within the group. It makes me wonder, are they truly OT7 if they selectively appreciate certain dynamics OR rather all other dynamics while disregarding Jikook?

Its interesting how the fandom will go out of their way to celebrate every other ship in BTS while acting as if Jimin and Jungkook's bond doesn't exist or worse like you said trying to diminish it by reporting and taking down Jikook videos. Its one thing to have preferences but its another to actively ignore or downplay a connection that has been evident for years.

What could be the main reason for this behavior?

A significant portion of the fandom struggles with the idea of any of the members being in a same sex relationship and this is especially evident when it comes to Jungkook.

Many fans have a deeply ingrained perception of him as the epitome of masculinity which in their minds aligns strictly with heterosexuality. They readily accept the idea of him being with women but resist any suggestion that he could be romantically involved with a man.

This is precisely why most of the fandom, even Jungkook's solo fans, are tkk shippers. Because to these fans, Taehyung does not pose a threat to their fantasies of Jungkook being with a woman or more specifically their own Y/N dreams. The same goes for his ship with Seokjin.

However, when it comes to Jimin their reaction is starkly different. Jimin is the one person who directly challenges this rigid, preconceived notion of Jungkook's sexuality.

Jungkook has always shown a special kind of thoughtfulness when it comes to Jimin. Back in 2016, out of all the members, Jimin was the only one he personally got a birthday gift for. And in 2017 he took it to a whole new level, going all out to celebrate Jimin's birthday.

Remember the hickey? Jungkook didn't just wear Jimin's mark for the world to see, he refused to hide it and wouldn't let anyone else touch it, as if it was something sacred. Its with Jimin, Jungkook shares countless inside jokes, little moments only they seem to understand while the rest of the members are left puzzled. Isn't that telling? Its proof of the sheer amount of time they spend together, just the two of them. That kind of connection doesn't just happen. Its built through endless hours of shared moments, laughter and conversations no one else is privy to.

Unlike his interactions with others, Jungkook's actions toward Jimin often carry an undeniable exclusivity. There's an added depth, a level of attention and care he doesn't extend in quite the same way to anyone else. Its this dynamic that unsettles those who want to believe Jungkook fits neatly into their "traditional" ideals.

The same holds true for Jimin. While he is naturally affectionate with all the members, there is an undeniable difference in how he interacts with Jungkook. This distinction has been evident as early as 2013.

There's no one in Jimin's life quite like Jungkook. It was for Jungkook that Jimin took a 13 hour flight to Seoul. Its waking up to Jungkook that brightens Jimin's mornings, the first sight of him setting the tone for his day. Its Jungkook, Jimin chose to be part of his deeply personal solo album, something so intimate that he couldn't imagine anyone else sharing in it. Its Jungkook's birth time that Jimin quietly set his 1997 model watch to during his September live, a very telling gesture. And the list goes on, moment after moment, choice after choice, all pointing to one undeniable truth: for Jimin, Jungkook isn't just someone special. He's the one.

The fandom sees this. No matter how much they try to downplay it, there's no one else for whom Jimin has said and done things he has for Jungkook. Till this day.

This realization unsettles them because it can't be dismissed as simply team camaraderie. It goes beyond brotherhood, beyond friendship, beyond anything they can easily explain away. And that's what unnerves them the most. No other Jimin or Jungkook pairing even comes close to the depth and exclusivity of Jikook. Time and time again the way they stand apart from the rest only reinforces one thing, Jikook aren't just special. THEY ARE DIFFERENT.

We all know that a very large part of the fandom are tkkrs. Is it because they genuinely support taekook?

The answer is a big NO.

There's only a small, very small, portion of the fandom who believes taekook are involved romantically. And I don't know what they're on to be so gone and delusional enough to believe in a ship that sank way back in 2014 and has been actively debunked by Jungkook and Taehyung.

But I'm talking about the others who ship taekook despite knowing (yes they know it) that there's nothing romantic between Jungkook and Taehyung. The same can be said about Jinkook whose dynamics are purely sibling coded.

The truth is not because they believe in the ship but because of the deeply rooted homophobia within the fandom. For them Taekook or Jinkook or Yoonmin are a "safe" ship because it doesn't challenge their perception of BTS.

Jikook erasure isn't just about shipping, its about preserving a heteronormative narrative and refusing to accept a reality that contradicts fandom fantasies.

Anyone thinking rationally can see that Taekook or Jinkook or Yoonmin isn't real. But acknowledging that means Jikook might be, and that's what the fandom is desperately trying to avoid.

They can joke about Taekook, Yoonmin or Jinkook because they see them as harmless fantasies. But when it comes to Jikook, the fandom notices how Jimin and Jungkook's dynamic feels too genuine, too intimate and too plausible. This forces the fans to confront the reality of LGBTQ relationships in a way that they're not ready for. So, they dismiss, deny or downplay Jikook while embracing other obviously unreal ships.

Even in progressive spaces people are conditioned to see same sex relationships as unlikely or just friendship while automatically assuming straightness unless explicitly stated otherwise.

The fear of Jikook being real isn't just about them, its about what it means for the fan's own worldview, comfort zone and sometimes even their parasocial attachment to the members.

This is the only explanation that makes sense to me for why the fandom refuses to acknowledge Jikook's connection. Its not that they can't see it, its that they don't want to. Accepting it would mean confronting something they're uncomfortable with. So, instead they choose to ignore, downplay or much worse mock it.

[krispycreamcake]

Ayayui DL analysis pt. 2 hehe

I'm not even gonna bother to make this super aesthetic, I'm just gonna go all out and pray you can keep up with my yapping.

In my last post I mentioned how Ayato and Yui's character archetypes pair really well with each other but I didn't mention how.

I'll focus this post more on Yui as she literally compliments Ayato's character.

Yui is an inexperienced kind and loving girl raised by the church, it's her general description. I'm not sure how many of you notice, but this is often the description she gives herself, or rather what she tries to portray.

Yui is complex in a way that shows the player that she's more than just some god loving blob of pink and blonde by portraying her inner thoughts and reactions.

While yes, a lot of it is coercion and Stockholm Syndrome, we also forget that this is probably her first time experiencing such an inner conflict, she's completely stumped when her morals get challenged and it turns out, she likes it.

Ayato of course, loves this about her. He knows that by "breaking her" he's really just breaking her in to new experiences so to speak.

We all know Ayato, and we know he's a narcissistic shit bag that desires to be Yui's first everything.

Previously I would have mentioned that it isn't JUST Yui's morals and values being challenged when it comes to these two.

It's more than just soft uwu girl x annoying bad boy.

They're very similar to one another and this is where the creator would have taken the liberty to make two completely different characters eventually yearn for the same thing.

Yui is experiencing her first love being someone she'd never think about being with because of his crude personality, but of course there's something that draws her to him.

She can see herself in his troubled ways in a sense. She can see he's not everything he pretends to be and that warrants sympathy from her, which of course does not please ayato. (Little does he know, she's only pitying him because she knows damn well)

To him, Yui is weak and nothing but prey. But if she's just prey, why does she make him question his actions?

That ignites an inherent power shift where he realizes she might be stronger than she looks if the great him can relate to her troubles.... Or rather he's weaker than he thinks.

They both clash with each other at first, but eventually fuse into each other's lives.

Yui is understanding and Ayato needs to be understood.

Ayato is reckless and carefree, while Yui is just now learning about the world around her.

Yui isn't reluctant to that side of him and often embraces it.

Like ying and yang, they balance each other out.

I would have mentioned before that Yui often tries to portray herself as someone she's not.... Hmmm who do we know that also does this?

They work well together because they are literally each other.

Do you guys remember that spiderman meme?

Ayato and Yui pointing to what they hate about each other.

Anyways Ayayui best ship, bite me

[wearepaladin]

You may have answered this question before, but I was wondering what you thought the difference between clerics and paladins really is? I'm in a campaign starting level 0 and debating which to begin level with. My character is very focused on making change to create a more just world (thinking oath of redemption), caring for and healing others, but also on unravelling the big philosophical mysteries of life and very keen on creating a strong ethical code for herself. I guess I'm asking what you think the difference is between the actions clerics make to create change vs paladins?

The way I choose to differentiate it is good works (paladin) vs good news (cleric), ie, their respective roles are separate halves of what makes a perfect faith. A cleric, as a representative of a god and their greatest of miracles, represents "good news", Ie, they are bringers of evangelism, the ones who speak for their god and have the closest understanding of their creed. Their spells thus reflect that, as they are more of a spoken word that brings power and belief than an action. A cleric thus always keeps the words of their god close at heart and that should be reflected on how they choose to interact with others, and when/if they feel conflicted about that, it's not something that should be subtle.

Paladin meanwhile are a much more hands on class for all their spritiual connotations. For while they will never equal clerics in how much pure divine power they can manifest, their abilities compliment and strengthen their more physical attributes. They sacrifice spells for the sake of smites, their primary healing ability, lay on hands, requires physical contact. Jame 2:22: Seest thou how faith wrought with his works, and by works was faith made perfect?

Alone, good news can fill the heart with knowledge of the divine but feel lacking in the reality of what people need. Thoughts and prayers can only go so far before they elicit derision if they are not accompanied by action. On the opposite end of the extreme, good works without a goal or spiritual impetus in mind can feel like drudgery. Feed the hungry, but if they do not in turn value feeding others, you are only feeding one mouth a time. Slay many a villain, but if others don't believe they can or should help, you will always fight alone. Paladins and clerics become their best when they balance these two forces together, but usally come at this conclusion from different angles. What end do you think you are coming from?

[jessicas-pi]

The Time Heals 'verse meta, part one: take two!

First, some explanation. A few days ago, I decided to spontaneously post a meta about my fic. Then I overthought it, decided it was Absolute Garbage and erased it from the face of the earth. What was I thinking? Beats me! I slept for like three hours the night before, I don't take responsibility for those actions. Anyway, three days ago someone mentioned to me that they were actually interested in it! So, last night, with my ego boosted and my hubris restored, I hunted down the reblog the post got before I deleted it, and I reread it, expecting to cringe. And I was like "Hey, wait a second! This isn't garbage! In fact, this is fairly mediocre!" And so I copied it into a document and edited it up just a bit it make it even mediocre-er and now I'm reposting it. Because I can. And because cringe isn't dead, but I persevere nonetheless.

So here we are, right back where we started!

Let’s try this again, shall we?

(Warning: this post will Massively Spoil plot points from the Time Heals 'verse.)

So this meta has been brewing in my brain because, in writing the Time Heals 'verse, I had to think a lot about the relationship dynamic between two characters who will never ever sit down and talk about their feelings until something absolutely forces them to. And having all these things thought out, but knowing that they'll mostly just be subtext and that I'll never be able to outright explain the nuance behind their relationship in the narrative, is absolutely killing me.

It's also been circulating in my thoughts because it occurred to me as I was writing this, just how fundamentally different this fic is from all my other published Sabezra fics. Because in those fics, it either picks up at a point in time where the Feelings Realization has already happened for Sabine, or where the realization happens midway through, and she's doing the Feelings What Feelings thing before then. But the Time Heals 'verse is a slowburn. The Feelings aren’t THERE when we start off. Their relationship is complicated and deep and changing and full of messy feelings that they Will Not Discuss…

…and it all starts with The Line.

You know. The Line. From The Scene. The Line That Was Never Quite Revealed. THE Line.

That one? You know the one? 

No?

Well, then. Let's talk about it!

(Hold on tight, folks. I'm about to go absolutely feral.)

He said something she couldn’t or maybe didn’t want to understand, and she held on tighter, trying to memorize the sound of his voice.

she doesn't want to understand it!! the Feelings Realization moment, the Feelings What Feelings denial phase---neither of those exist in this AU, because for Sabine, right now, those Feelings aren't there. And that's why she can't, why she doesn't want to understand it. because until that moment, he didn't want her to understand it either. it was unspoken and it was ignored. And that was the way it was supposed to be always. He would hide it and she would ignore it and it would fade and go away (it would, it has to) and when that happened, some day in the future, they could forget it ever existed and be happy as friends.

But Ezra is dying.

There is no future.

So there's nothing to hide anymore. And he tells her. And in the kindest world, she could say it back to him. Maybe, somewhere inside, she wants to say it back to him (it's all she can do, he's dying and she can't save him, and he is so very dear to her, the least she could say is me, too) but she doesn't (he is so very dear, but in a way just different enough that me, too would be a lie, and he is too dear to lie to) because she can't.

But he didn't tell her, expecting her to say it back. He's not asking for a “me, too.” Ezra knows there's no me, too. He tells her because he's dying, and to Sabine, it is her dearest friend slipping away in her arms, but to Ezra, the one holding him is more than dear, so terribly much more (You don't know. You're holding me to your heart and you don't know. You might not hold me if you did.) so he tells her because he has to. (I'm sorry. Please don't let me go.)

Sabine holds him tighter, and does the only thing she can do for him.

“Yeah,” she murmured. “I know.”

(But I do know. I knew it before I took you in my arms, you see? It won't make me let you go. It never could.)

Four words from him.

Three words from her.

That's all.

But they say so much more than that. Because he loves her (there! I said it! Because maybe Sabine can't even bring herself to think about it, but I can, and I do!) and she loves him (she does, you know. painfully so.) but it's a different kind of love (and that matters) but it doesn't matter because he is dying in her arms, and in that moment, they realize that they will never know how they would have loved. Maybe he'd have gotten over it and loved her as a dear friend. Maybe she'd have fallen just as in love with him as he is with her. They won't know what the future could have brought for them, so it stops mattering. And Sabine loves him. (But she doesn't.) But she does, and she tells him so in the only way she can. And they say so little. But they say everything.

Sabine? I love you.

Yeah. I know.

She loves him. And she holds him. When he offers his fading heart, she takes the fragile thing and cradles it close, and she kisses his bloody fingers good-bye. She holds him so tightly that when she is yanked away from him and out of the dream-place, she pulls his red-stained orange jacket with her. She never lets him go.

So Ezra dies with a smile, because he loves her.

And Sabine screams, because she loved him.

[gofancyninjaworld]

The New Ninja Arc So Far (Review)

RIght, they do say that third time's the charm! I'm hoping that ONE and Murata are happy with how this falls on the page this time.

I am SKIPPING any summary: we've seen this enough times. Let's go straight to Meta, shall we?

Meta

Hard stop

So, in a Youtube video I can no longer find, some wag called Saitama a guy suffering from Premature Eradication Syndrome. It's pretty accurate -- he doesn't so much have fights as he has encounters that end when he decides to stick his fist out. The suddenness with which fights can end in OPM is something that really got me into the story. While Saitama is the guy who most often does this, it happens elsewhere, like with the unfortunate Sky King.

Rest in pieces. I'm sure you were a tough monster but, unfortunately, you were just in the way.

And alternatively, fights that you think will end quickly don't and turn into horrifying prolonged struggles that sap combatants' very will to live. So it goes!

This is why you see readers who have been raised on the choreography of shonen and action movies flipping out, alternatively ranting about how a certain 'monster' was 'wasted' and decrying fights that go on for longer than expected. Sorry! Life-and-death struggles aren't portrayed here as action pieces. [1]

I'm always down for some Premature Eradication Syndrome. I was personally delighted to see that right as Flashy Flash was about to shiskabob himself some Tenninto, Blast comes in and stops the whole fight, beating down the Tenninto himself when they try attacking him.

Now this is another definition of 'sudden death'.

The beliefs that enslave

With this, I see that the initial idea ONE had of the Tenninto surviving has come back, albeit in a different way. I'll start with another idea that has returned: the question of what freedom is. Initially, we had Flashy sparing them, first to gloat, second to show off his superior understanding of what the true purpose of the Ninja Village had been, and thirdly, out of a sense of pity for them having had their lives stolen. Which amused them greatly, as they saw freedom as lying in serving a master faithfully.

Gosh, that was so CREEPY.

This time around, as we see Flash turning over Sonic's words in his mind and wondering whether the idea of freedom was an illusion, the narration lets us know that despite being free of the Ninja Village, none of the fighting parties had the slightest idea of what freedom actually meant due to how restricted their upbringings had been: it's a much sadder affair, one of ninjas unable to escape the cruel fates they've been shaped to accept. In a way, it shouldn't surprise us that they fight: we've seen that each and every ninja is convinced that he alone is the best and is prepared to die proving that to be the case, no matter how hopeless it is. It's just lucky for Sonic that Saitama is as tolerant as he is strong.

Freedom is a lot more than merely not being in captivity.

A few chapters ago, we'd seen Blast musing on how ninjas seem fated to kill each other in a struggle for power, only to replicate the same cruel conditions that make more ninjas, and have the cycle repeat anew. Looks like he has decided to step in and try to break this particular cycle. Whether he will succeed is something we'll just have to see.

Fame, power, influence. Kill your way to the top and make more minions fit only for death. That appears to be the real ninja way.

I have many more thoughts on cages, but I'll have to leave it here.

Ohhh, it all starts to add up

ONE's simple observations are really freaking obvious, and yet surprisingly frequently overlooked. One of them is that for someone to share information with you, they need two things: first, to know what it is that you want to know, and second, a reason to share it with you. We were initially treated to the hilarious scenario of Genos popping out of Saitama's wall to smack Flash on the head with a cup of hot tea, having eavesdropped on the proceedings next door, and then the slightly cringe scene of him delightedly inviting Blast to come back to consult Saitama whenever he liked. Ah Genos, you are so crazy, like a cybernetic Oscar The Grouch.

Genos is so much like a proud mother sometimes. He thinks it's because he told the HA to call Saitama if they heard from Blast. Let us not disabuse him just yet.

But not so fast...

Blast knows where Sonic's hideout is: he has it bugged. However, some time after Saitama left, Blast came back to Saitama's, apparently in the hopes of finding a lead on where Sonic's current whereabouts might be. He did not see Flashy Flash get a challenge letter, and was in conference with Sicchi when the former left, so has no idea of where the ninja could have gone to even think of following him. Sonic has definitely not sent Blast a challenge letter as he didn't even know that the guy was around.

ONE has been diligent in not creating a plot hole of leaving Sonic possibly aware of Blast's presence.

Genos sure as hell doesn't know where Sonic might be. However, he knows a few things. One: that Saitama has a stash of challenge letters from Sonic. Two: where Saitama would have put those letters. Three: they have a freakish dog that just might be able to pick up Sonic's scent. And, most important of all, four: he really likes that Blast *has* come back to consult Saitama and so wants to help.

All of this is how Blast ends up presenting one of those letters to Overgrown Rover, sweat beading on his face as he thinks what an incredibly stupid idea this is, and how desperate he has to be even to be considering it.

if it's stupid but it works...

And how, despite its stupidity, it works: the monstrous scenting ability of the dog does lead him to the correct place.

...it's not stupid.

So, who's minding the shop?

This time around, Blast has not told Flashy Flash or Saitama anything about That Man; not his real name (Empty Void), not his relationship to him (former partner), and certainly not his strategic importance. It's clear that Void is still extremely important to some plan that Blast and Sicchi have, and that it is primary importance that Void is wrest from 'God's' clutches, no matter what he's done in the past and no matter the cost.

Ah yes, Void, former partner, ex-brother-in-law, serial child abuser, slave trader, assassin, and now avatar of an evil eldrich being. Totally the guy you want to stick your neck out for.

All Saitama knows about this guy is that he was an exceptionally cruel ninja, buying boys and brutalising them into being either killers to be sold onto criminals or turning them into minions to serve an evil entity called 'God'. He knows that Sonic is being menaced by this cruel ninja and a bunch of ne'er-do-wells, and he's gone specifically to save Sonic. [2]

Saitama...actually taking the initiative to reach out to someone out of empathy... well, I did NOT have this in my bingo list.

Currently, he's alone in Sonic's former hideout, where Void is going to be showing up sooner rather than later. And Blast isn't there to intercede.

Hmmm, I don't know about you, but I have a feeling this isn't going to end well for Void or Blast. I have some popcorn I'm dying to pop and munch on as I read the way this goes down.

Asides

[1] That said, when ONE is writing shonen, he knows the formula well and executes it beautifully: the fights Mob gets into and the sprawling battles of Versus are testimony to that.

[2] FUCK, I AM STILL SHOOK!!!! Like even the mightiest mountain is shaped by wind and water, Saitama is slowly changing! And in this case for the better. Wow.

[katerinaaqu]

Okay like I mentioned, I needed a second opinion about rhapsody 9 in the Iliad when Achilles refused to join the battlefield.

There was something very significant about his refusal. Sure it contradicted the social norm for men and his own previous belief (the urge for eternal remembrance and kleos) but there was something else lying beneath, something potent that i could not figure out.

Maybe you could give me a second opinion 👀?

Oh my this is probably one of the most fascinating subjects indeed! And you are so right there is something so significant about it to the point of many interpreting it as a rhapsody added later by a different writer. You know me, I disagree with this thought but it is on the table as always! And always fascinating to think.

But since I go with the thought that Rhapsody 9 is as worthy to be seen the same ancient as the rest of the poem and written by the same man, as per my own hypothesis and interpretation of the text and let us look at it through some perspectives here and as why it is so contradictory to the whole essence of Kleos, especially coming from Achilles who was supposed to be the very definition of the "perfect warrior" on that aspect; someone who aims towards glory for his name and the future generations! So there are some lines we can look and some thoughts that come from the top of my head as I think on this rhapsody of the Iliad and as I read it. Sorry in advance if this gets long!

The Controversy of Rhapsody 9 of Iliad

One: The Placement

The placement of Rhapsody 9 fascinates me. It is right in-between Rhapsody 8 and Rhapsody 10 and as we know:

In Rhapsody 8 we have a bloody battle scene. In that battle we have of course the usual tension of the battle, violence and strife but at the same time we have an interesting incident; the aspect of disrespecting the gods or rather ignoring the signs from Nestor and Diomedes and one rather controversial and yet as it seems correct act; Odysseus fleeing from the main field of action. Basically even accused by cowardice by Diomedes for running away. The act is of course then kinda admitted to be correct when both Nestor and Diomedes are forced to run away in the havoc. We even have gods present or speaking

Meanwhile in Rhapsody 10 we had the night raid of Diomedes and Odysseus, a violent act that is also, interestingly, also a bit contradictory to the whole glorious battle that we would expect from the ideal warriors. Odysseus and Diomedes sneaking into the night for a counter-spy mission, fighting and killing opponents in the night while infiltrating the opponent's battlefield (could it also be a foreshadowing of the following events of the Epic Cycle? For example the Palladium Heist or the very taking of Troy itself?). The act is praised by the Achaeans. This rhapsody is also leading gradually to rhapsody 11 that is arguably yet another action-packed scene where we also have aristeia and more

Compared to the two Rhapsodies, rhapsody 9 seems a de-escalating one. Homer was not stupid. He knows that his audience will get tired if he has action packed scenes one after the other so he places an almost purely domestic scene such as the scene that takes place in Achilles's hut, in-between two rhapsodies that de-escalate (rhapsody 8) and re-escalate (rhapsody 10) to give to his audience the chance to relax. That by definition requires some sort of opposite thematic than the whole action packed scene from before (aka the value of bravery over cowardice, glory over return etc) or a rather interesting and yet controversial scene later (night raid) so that he will return to his pure action and proper thematic later (rhapsody 11).

Moreover the scene, in my opinion, is perfectly placed as a controversial matter (Achilles himself expressing his desire to live over his desire to be glorious) he places it between two other controversial matters (Odysseus fleeing from action because he sees the other two are opposing the will of the gods plus his own desire to survive vs a night raid and a spy-mission) before returning to the original matters (which ironically redeems Odysseus too for Odysseus pushed his own survival aside to save Diomedes who was wounded by Paris and taken over by Trojans) I do not find this random at all. Plus the very presence of Odysseus and his role in all three of them and consequently to rhapsody 11 too, is not a coincidence to me.

The scene not only plays the part of de-escalator of action so his viewers can relax, take a breath and continue later in action scenes but also gives us a chance to see the characters from a different perspective; a more controversial one, the HUMAN dimension over the "warrior symbol" dimension. Heroes that remain heroes but at the same time act as a rather controversial way as what an "idealistic hero" would act. They want to survive and they want to win. Both of these oftentimes require something way beyond the idealistic fight

Number two: The Thematic

As I said above, the scene in Rhapsody 9 is a purely domestic scene; people prepare a meal, receiving guests, eat and drink together. The actions given for the meal are not random. It is what you would expect to any sort of house or palace away from the battlefield. It is a familiar scene to most people around as opposed to war and violence that arguably half Homer's audience at least has only heard of. The scenes that take place in one's house or when they receive a guest; the custom of Xenia that always hovers over the homeric poems both the Iliad (its stepping over by Paris who ran away with Helen) and of course the upcoming Odyssey

It is also, arguably so, one of the saddest and most complicated, in my opinion, aspects of Achilles; his peace within the strife. Achilles in the middle of the war has placed himself to the camp where he can be enjoying some peace, daresay the peaceful adult life he never had. He met peace as a child, a little in his home, a little to the training of Chiron and then to his teens when he lived in Skyros. In this passage Achilles is experiencing some sort of peace in one way the domestic life as his own lord and master of a household and in one way his own peace. But I shall mention more on the later section.

What I find interesting is that this section is one thing that everyone can relate themselves to; the story of one's life at home and the reality of peace as opposing to the brutality of war. Homer does seem to speak to us on the glory and the almost idealized side of the war with the gods and goddesses, with the dramatic epithets and titles but he also shows us the brutal and naturalistic side; the killings and the blood, the people who fight and kill each other out in the field; fathers and sons, brothers and cousins etc killing each other in the same field; people who will never see their loved ones again whether they are from the Greek or the Trojan side. As opposed to that, the side we see in 9th rhapsody seems like the scene they left behind; the time of peace and quiet. The time where you could speak to your guests and your guests speak to you, give you news, daresay even speak on future marriages etc. The scene is through and through domestic. It is what everyone is fighting for!

The scene in Achilles's hut is without a doubt the very aim for both sides of the war; the peace and domestic life. People might say they fight for glory and honor each other's names and their families for sure. That is the ideal However thee REAL reason why everyone fights is also what Hector said "fight for one's country" or fight for one's peace. Fight for one's right to live in their home, enjoy their time there. See their families their wives or their children. Homer reminds us that Kleos is the ideal Peace is the realistic goal! Peace and thrive as humans

Number Three: Achilles's complex psychology

As mentioned to many of my previous thoughts, I think the controversy in 9th rhapsody of Iliad lies also to the fact that Achilles is a deeply complex persona. He is not just the ideal warrior that always aims for the top and the glory. Sure that is a big part of himself but it is also the other side; his desire for love, for peace even. The position Odysseus and the rest of the team find him is him playing his lyre and singing; Patroclus standing right next to him watching or even accompanying him. The scene is deeply peaceful! It almost feels like they have left the war and they got to the heart of peace once more.

The very reason Achilles is there is against the concept of Kleos to begin with; he refuses to fight because he was disgraced when his prize was removed from him but at the same time he left the battle which as an act is against the laws of Kleos. Achilles left the battle Achilles won't fight These seem against his very principle and against the very decision he made originally; to fight and die young but honored beyond any other human was honored before. Now he already seems like he has forgotten about it in one way (he truly hasn't but the scene seems almost pointing to that other direction.

There is also something else; Achilles never was a lord of his own household!

He was still a child when taken under the wing of Chiron. As a teenager he was taken to Skyros, hidden among the women. His growing process never happened. Achilles never met true peace as he might have wanted it; head of his household. He met peace before, yes and even that to the shadow of war, but he never had the chance to taste peace as part of his own household. Now he is at war and when he took the decision to go on strike he somehow managed to live the life he COULD HAVE HAD if he hadn't fought for glory. He commands his own servants and slaves; he has how own women around him. He has Patroclus with him and they live the life that Achilles COULD HAVE HAD. That life promised by the prophecy if he never fights the war and kills Hector.

What human being wouldn't have been tempted by that?

Achilles is ambitious, wants nothing else but to be glorified but at the same time he is human. How can he not feel any sort of desire to have a peaceful life? How can anyone not be seeing themselves as peacefully running a prosperous household, die a peaceful death and surrounded by loved ones like that? Achilles might as well be seeing himself living like this; in his home in Phthia. With Patroclus whom he loves so much, with his wife maybe and his son; living in prosperity. He never had anything against anyone to begin with. He was dragged into the war because of his personal ambition for glory But now he had also a taste of peace and quiet. Now the choice he made before; before he saw any of this, seems rather vague to his mind. In one way not risking anyone's life and going back home seems more than just a mere temptation to his ears

Number Four: Foreshadowing

I think it is not a coincidence that he is presenting his wish to go back home before no other than Odysseus; the very soul of the essence of going back home! The man that out of all kings he seems to wish kleos the least or rather that his desire to go home and have a peaceful life is stronger than his actual desire to be glorified. Of course Odysseus wants glory too but if he were to put his priorities straight it would first come his return and peace at home with his family in his own household and then would come the glory.

That in my mind is a foreshadowing to the scene that we have later in Nekya in the Odyssey.

Odysseus meets Achilles and Achilles tells him he'd rather be the last slave to the poorest man and still alive than be king and dead in the dark realm of Hades! Achilles! The warrior that did everything to be glorified now says what Odysseus stands for; better be alive and a no one than dead and known! In my mind that is no coincidence! In the Odyssey it almost feels like Achilles is quoting or remembering that conversation he had with Odysseus in the Iliad; that he wouldn't desire to fight again or later that he expresses clearly as day to Patroclus that he would want to return and live so they could leave peacefully together. That they would LIVE! Now that he died as well he remembers that and wishes he had done so!

Achilles in the Odyssey remembers that small taste of peace he got in the heart of war; the way he would manage his own household and he remembers it with regret! He now thinks none of it was worth it before the beauty of life; of being alive and having your loved ones around you. The very essence that was given to us in the Iliad in many occasions! The essence we saw all along in both Iliad and the Odyssey.

It feels to me that Homer seems to be showing this to us! That Kleos is the ideal; the great thing that if you achieve it you are blessed beyond comparison and that if you achieve it you have achieved everything! However he seems to also tell us that none of it is worth it on the expense of your own life! That the real deal is your loved ones your family and your life I feel like Homer is winking this to us all along. We see the very essence of war happened because the domestic peace was disrupted; Helen running away from Paris. Hector being begged by his wife Andromache that fighting is not worth it if that would mean for Hector losing his life, leaving his family exposed to danger. We see Achilles enjoying his peace for the first time within the heart of war and then of course we have the entirety of Odyssey in which we have a man that was ready to do anything, suffer any ordeal and try and appease the gods so he could achieve his perfect ending; dying peacefully surrounded by loved ones of ripe old age and away from the sea; away from adventure!

I think it was there all along!

It feels as if the controversy was never a controversy at all!

Sorry this is getting long and I know I am speculating based on my reading of the Iliad and the Odyssey but I cannot help but wonder indeed! I just feel like it is there! I hope this helps a bit! ^^ Thank you so much for the amazing question which gave me the chance to elaborate a bit on this!

[dahliah-blackened]

The Proposal (NSFW)

Guyssss!! I've got to admit, I've been a little worked up over the past couple weeks and had this story cooking for a while. Kyo is a powerful businessman in Japan who has a freaky side, and his newest plaything is Akoura, an employee from the IT department basically turned secretary. While they promised up and down that their relationship would be no more than sex, it's clear that it's quickly becoming more than that—especially now that Akoura has worked up the courage to try out his hunger kink. Contains hunger, stomach growling, mentions of sex. THIS IS JUST THE INTRO, more will be posted soon and it only gets better from here!!

The office was a cold, sleek sanctuary, the polished furniture and modern design a stark contrast to the hustle of the corporate building. Kyo moved with ease, his every action deliberate and controlled. It was the same way he approached everything—meticulous, composed, graceful. Akoura, however, had nothing to do but watch. He settled into the plush leather couch, his laptop untouched at his side. His eyes traced the sharp angles of Kyo’s face—the curve of his jaw, his broad shoulders beneath his tailored suit jacket, the glint of determination in his eyes. He was gorgeous. He had always been, but it was different now.

Before, Akoura had admired him in the way one admires a rare, untouchable thing—like fine art behind glass. A man like Kyo was supposed to be unattainable. Someone you indulged in for a moment, enjoyed in the dark, and then left behind before the sun rose. That was what they had agreed upon, after all. A mutual arrangement, built on nothing but raw, physical need—sex, pure and simple. They’d mapped out every inch of each other’s bodies, exploring what felt good, what made them gasp, what drove them wild. They had promised it would be nothing more than that—nothing emotional, nothing complicated. But Akoura knew better.

The first time, it had been an afterthought—Akoura picking up an extra coffee on his way into the office, figuring Kyo could use one. But the next day, Akoura did it again. Then the day after that. Somewhere along the way, it became routine. A quiet ritual between them. Akoura would arrive with coffee, Kyo would take it without question, and they would share a few moments before the day consumed them both. It was easy. Comforting. And perhaps that should have been his first warning sign. Because soon, it wasn’t just the coffee.

Kyo started lingering after their nights together, pulling Akoura closer instead of pushing him away. He would press soft kisses against Akoura’s temple, against his jaw—kisses that weren’t meant to seduce, weren’t meant to lead anywhere. Kyo would kiss him just because he wanted to. That was when Akoura knew they were past the point of pretending this was just about sex. He wasn’t sure what they were now. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to ask. But the thought of Kyo wanting him for more than just his body—of Kyo choosing to keep him close, even when there was no deal to uphold—did something to him. Something dangerous.

Akoura exhaled slowly, shifting in his seat. His gaze flicked toward Kyo’s hands as they moved over the keyboard, precise and efficient, before trailing down to the steady rise and fall of his chest. He had seen every inch of Kyo before, had memorized the way he looked beneath that expensive suit, the way his muscles tensed under careful touch. And yet, right now, he wanted him more than ever. Not just in the way he had before. Not just for heat or release. He wanted all of him.

Suddenly, a deep, slow groan roared from Kyo’s stomach, the kind that curled in the silence and sent a shiver up Akoura’s spine. Kyo didn’t even react. His fingers continued tapping against the keyboard, his gaze sharp and unwavering. It was nothing to him—just another day, another skipped meal, another ignored signal from his own body. But to Akoura, it was everything. His pulse quickened, his fingers twitching slightly where they rested against his thigh. He had always had this… fascination. It wasn’t something he had ever spoken about, something he had never let slip, even as he and Kyo explored the darkest corners of each other’s desires. But every day with Kyo made it more difficult for Akoura to keep hidden.

From the moment they met, Kyo had been a walking temptation. He worked too hard, skipped too many meals, pushed his own limits without a second thought. It had driven Akoura insane at first—not just because it was unhealthy, but because it was intoxicating. He needed to hear it. To feel it. To control it. He swallowed hard, his gaze dropping to Kyo’s stomach beneath the crisp lines of his suit. He could imagine it now—beneath that starched fabric, his belly was empty, hollow, aching for something to fill it. Akoura’s fingers curled into the fabric of his pants as he sat there, trying to steady his breathing. This was stupid.

He had no reason to be nervous. This was Kyo. The same man who had shoved him against walls, dragged him onto desks, and whispered the filthiest things into his ear while making him beg for more. The same man who had seen him at his most vulnerable, most desperate, most ruined. He should have no shame left. And yet, as he rose from the couch and crossed the space between them, his heart twisted. Kyo didn’t look up, too absorbed in his work to acknowledge Akoura’s presence right away. He was still typing, still reviewing whatever deal had his attention, his posture effortless and composed despite the hollow ache in his belly that Akoura knew had to be growing by the minute.

Akoura swallowed hard before forcing himself to speak. “Your stomach is empty.” The words came out hoarse—too quiet, too uneven. His throat felt dry, his nerves fraying in a way that made him want to kick himself. Kyo barely reacted. He didn’t even glance away from his screen. “I’m fine. I’ll eat later.” Akoura’s fingers twitched at his sides. A deep, rolling growl curled from Kyo’s stomach in protest, and Akoura felt his whole body shiver. His breath stuttered, his arousal mounting at the sound, but he pushed it down, steadied his voice. “No, you won’t.” That got Kyo’s attention. The typing stopped.

Slowly, finally, Kyo turned his head, his sharp gaze locking onto Akoura’s. His expression was unreadable, but there was curiosity there—a glint of amusement in his eyes. Akoura’s heartbeat pounded in his ears. He had said it. Now, there was no going back. Kyo studied him for a moment, his gaze sharp, analytical. Then, ever so slightly, the corner of his lips curved. “And what exactly do you mean by that?” His voice was smooth, controlled, but Akoura caught the hint of intrigue laced beneath it. It sent a thrill down his spine, a rush of heat pooling in his body. Kyo was interested.

Akoura moved closer, rounding the desk until he stood beside Kyo’s chair. He hesitated—just for a second—before reaching out, fingers curling around Kyo’s silk tie. With a firm but careful tug, he pulled him forward, just enough to make Kyo’s breath hitch. A flicker of surprise crossed his face. Akoura’s pulse pounded. He was never the one to do this—to take control, to demand. But the way Kyo was looking at him now, his lips slightly parted, his posture shifting as if testing this new dynamic…It sent a thrill straight through Akoura’s veins. “I mean,” Akoura said, his voice just a bit steadier now, “I want your stomach to stay empty.”

Kyo blinked, processing. His stomach gave another low, drawn-out groan, as if it, too, was waiting for an explanation. And then, to Akoura’s immense relief—Kyo laughed. Low and quiet at first, then a little deeper, a little warmer. He wasn’t mocking him—no, this was different. This was amusement, curiosity, maybe even a hint of challenge. “Now this is interesting,” Kyo murmured, placing a hand over Akoura’s where it rested on his tie. “Is this a new kink of yours?” Akoura felt heat flood his face, but he didn’t look away. “Not new.”

Kyo’s eyes darkened, the shift almost imperceptible—but Akoura felt it, the charged weight of it settling between them. He moved slowly, deliberately. Rising from his chair, he let Akoura’s grip slide down the length of his suit jacket, his hands trailing over the silk before coming to rest against the flat expanse of his stomach. The heat of his body burned through the layers of his expensive suit, and then—there it was. A deep, drawn-out growl, curling through the silence between them. Akoura swore his knees almost buckled. Kyo tilted his head, watching him with knowing amusement. “So, tell me,” he murmured. “What exactly is the appeal?”

Akoura’s breath hitched. He had prepared for this—knew he’d have to say it out loud, to put words to the desires that had been simmering inside him for so long. But now, with Kyo’s body so close, his stomach still aching and empty beneath Akoura’s fingertips, he felt his face go hot. “I—” He swallowed, forcing himself to meet Kyo’s gaze. “It’s just—” Kyo arched his brow, expectant. Akoura exhaled shakily. “It drives me crazy… the sounds… the way it makes you desperate. The thought that you’re aching, and I get to decide when that ache ends.” His fingers flexed slightly, feeling the tightness of Kyo’s stomach beneath them.

Kyo pulled back just slightly, eyes flickering with curiosity as he studied Akoura’s flushed face. “And how long,” he asked slowly, “do you plan on keeping me like this?” Akoura bit the inside of his cheek, fighting to keep his confidence. His fingers traced the edge of Kyo’s tie, playing with the fabric as he responded. “Three days.” Kyo blinked. “Three?” Akoura nodded, feigning nonchalance despite the heat crawling up his neck. “For three days, I decide what you put in your stomach.” Kyo’s reaction was immediate. He groaned, tipping his head back slightly. “Three days? Akoura, my stomach will start eating itself.” Akoura rolled his eyes. “Oh, please.”

“I’m serious,” Kyo whined, resting a hand over his stomach as if to shield it from its impending fate. “Three days is forever.” Akoura scoffed, crossing his arms. “This from the man who edged me for a week straight?” Kyo paused. Then—A slow, wicked smile. “Touché.” Akoura smirked back. “So really, I’m being nice to you.” Kyo hummed in amusement, reaching up to brush a strand of blonde hair from Akoura’s face. “I suppose I should be grateful, then.” Akoura fought the shiver threatening to crawl up his spine. “You should.”

Kyo exhaled, shaking his head with a knowing smirk. “Fine. Three days.” He glanced down at his stomach, as if already lamenting its future. “What exactly are the… terms and conditions of this predicament?” Akoura’s heart pounded. “You'll eat only when I allow you to.” Kyo clicked his tongue. “And if I cheat?” Akoura tugged his tie, just slightly, enough to bring their lips a breath apart. “You won’t.” Kyo grinned, exhaling a soft laugh. “Well then, Akoura…” He tilted his head, pressing one last teasing kiss to Akoura’s lips before murmuring—

“Make me suffer.”

[handfulofmuses]

“Hey - former comedian. Still got it.”

Bradford allows a teasing smirk as he continued to work. It was a shame indeed and partly something that was his fault. Maybe if he never pushed away right from the start, a lot of things could have been different. Maybe they could have worked it out before Shredder descended deeper into madness.

It's no use in thinking about it. He can't change the past. That doesn't mean it is easy to be indirectly responsible just how much things took a turn for the worse because of his actions - or the ones he did not took. So much that could have been handled better, so much that could have been avoided had he made a different choice.

His ears slowly perk up. Thinking less of Xever? Because no legs anymore?

“No.”

Short, but sincere. There was a time when he thought less of Xever - but that was regarding their different upbringings. Does he still think that? It’s hard to shake off old thoughts when you were raised in high society, but not as much perhaps. Bradford wasn’t sure. It feels like it just doesn't matter anymore.

“I mean, look at me. All I've got is just bones at this point."

Still, the more Xever went on, there was a twinge of understanding in his chest. It was true that there was a second time where he hunted down that retro mutagen. It worked on others, why shouldn’t it work on them? The first time he tried Stockman for help and everyone knows how that turned out.

He understands the feeling of not getting subjected to something he does not comprehend. Both times were a horrifying experience and it ruined his life.

It burned, it hurt, the confusion, yes. Nothing compared to his companion who was unable to breathe in that moment.

“It was …. terrifying the second time.”

Which was obvious by the screams of agony back then.

“This chemical … was just burning away on me. It melted everything away until nothing but bones were exposed. Sometimes I worry even if I get my hands on retro mutagen … is this something that can be fixed? Turning into a freak is one thing, becoming the definition of a rotten corpse is another.”

He grimaces as the memory of the stinging pain and everything just sharply gnawing away on him. It’s not something he wants to experience ever again. How differently would the cure be for him? Would his muscles and everything else come back? Or was this permanent damage and Chris Bradford would walk around while his bones stick out?

And yet - this form made him powerful. Faster. Stronger than ever before. All of his senses, a lot more advanced. All of this would be lost if he ever turns back to human.

And yet he can't even beat a bunch of teenagers, regardless of how powerful this form was.

Stockman was an even worse choice than the turtles, especially since he turned into a fly. He certainly leaned more into the mad scientist trope and it was unnerving. Stinkman can't be trusted.

But that was because the mutation was his fault as well. He was the one who put the mutagen collar on him. He was the one who came to mock him. With the little game the fly played when they were on their own, Bradford got the message.

There was no way he would ever ask willingly Stinkman for a substance. Who knows what that little creep comes up with!

Chasing the reptiles for retro mutagen is one thing, but if they would try to give it to him willingly, that would be a reason for the wolf to be skeptical. He won’t face another humiliating situation just because of them.

“Didn’t you want a cure once too? You told Stinkman too. I understand your concerns, but I can’t imagine living with this breathing device is comfortable.”

A smirk.

“Besides - I would test it on these turtles first if we ever get one. That way, we know it’s safe. If they turn back to regular turtles, it will be a lot easier for turtle soup.”

But there won't be a next time. Not if Master plans to finish this today. Still, the thought was amusing at least.

"That's a major thing I like about our relation. Our constant jokes...you make me laugh so much you know? Shame it took us this long to start getting along. But, glad it happened at all."

They got into the thick of it now, Xever was talking better telling the dog what he needed to get and how to work. It was still a slow process and one that wasn't enjoyable for either of them. Yet, as they went on Xever chose to ask a question that was on his mind.

"I know this is strange to ask, but do you think less of me? Cause of having no legs anymore? I often feel like less of a person because of it. And no don't worry this isn't me guilting you we're passed that. I just meant well, I remember hearing that the turtles created a way to turn us back to how we were. I know that you wish to turn back but..."

It had been some hours now, the legs were being reattached bit by bit and Xever being as he was couldn't help but run his mouth. That aspect of him never changed no matter what form he took.

"I don't trust anything those reptiles make. And besides, when it comes to me my whole body changed into a form unlike what it was before. My legs are gone, even if I turn back do I have any assurance that my legs will come back? No, I don't! Also this is alien stuff, this is scary! I don't want to be subjected to stuff I don't understand ever again! It ruined my life, and as much as life sucks for me now. I still at least can make something of it. If I turned back I would lose all the power and speed I have now. I would be less than I was..."

So with those reasons Xever chose to not chase a cure of himself. There were too many variables when it came to him. So he wasn't willing to take the risk if it meant putting himself into a vulnerable spot once more. So Xever accepted is lot and chose to run with it.

"I wanted you to know that, just so you get why I remain as I am. I know it isn't the same for you. But, really think about what that so called cure could do. Nothing in life is free, and even something that sounds good always comes with a cost. I'm not willing to risk it."

[jacksmusesdrv3]

I know I've twisted myself into a goddamn pretzel the past five or so years trying not to be 'too much' and backing off when I am

but

A good deal of why I started the #dr literacy tag is precisely because of this- I am beyond tired and fed up, with the kinds of things that people have ignored and left on my back- whether it's to do with Kokichi, or V3 overall. It's easy to deflect and call me 'delusional', and five years later never even consider the implications of having called me that over what I've been trying to grapple with, much less apologise to me sincerely and genuinely try to understand where I'm coming from and why it's so hard to discuss in the first place- not to mention why it's so easy to make mistakes not least because the way Kodaka plays with themes can be decidedly insensitive (and I was clearly out of my depth with that when I started this blog)

This isn't about all of you. A good number of people here have been wonderful about this, even if they don't understand all too well. But frankly such people are the exception rather than the rule, and the rule is that people don't bother to interrogate their own biases about Kokichi, or really grapple with the way him and V3's narrative might be constructed with bias. And this unwillingness to accept ambiguity and nuance results in some genuinely hurtful behaviour towards people who try to point out that, maybe, not everything was even his fault, or that his character and situation is far more layered than it appears on a first run of the game. Or even a second, or third.

So I'm gonna need people in that camp to swear that you'll do better about this going forward. No really. This situation I've been in didn't come out of nowhere, and while I've beaten the proverbial horse to death that I haven't always been fair or reasonable either, that does not mean I should just back myself into a wall and take the status quo that is 'Tsumugi is telling the truth and Kokichi is just a clown' as a 'fact of canon'. Because there's a very good chance that that might not even be true, and that there's even more tangled messes Kodaka left in the text to unpack that you never even thought of, and that really NEED extra care and nuance to fully understand.

I know you're probably sick of hearing this from me by now. But this is an issue that can never be helped until it's faced head on, and the effect of basically being pathologised over it (due to *checks notes* autism), is seriously damaging- the inability of people to address things as serious issues and themes rather than 'just the pet theory that came out of my nutty head', is something I cannot, on principle, force myself to accept. So please just think about the way you're approaching issues in the future. I will try to do the same.

[demigodofhoolemere]

Me through most of Boom: Wow, this is a really solid dramatic episode.

Me when Moffat needlessly sprinkles in anti-faith sentiments without specifying that it’s blind faith in bad things that the Doctor doesn’t like, which makes it come off like the Doctor is just against religion generally:

[freakied]

guys im new to tumblr but i just had a thought about pornstar!gojo that i had to share. plsss can i sit at the gojofucker table for lunch plsss ^^

pornstar!satoru who just so happens to live in the apartment next to yours. sharing a wall means you don't get to be blissfully ignorant about his profession, because he just has to be a workaholic... or sex addict if you look at it in a different light. some nights you get no sleep because of the banging of a headboard against the wall and the long drawn out moans that sound a little too real for porn. if satoru wasn't such a good neighbor (or so attractive) you'd make a noise complaint by now.

but of course you get curious one night when one of the 'co-stars' he has over is crying joyous climax. surely he's not that good, right? you don't even register your actions as you open up your laptop and search up his name.

of course you click the first link that comes up. and of course you hold your breath as the first video loads up and you find out he's a whole lot bigger than you had imagined he was. then, of course, you scold yourself for thinking about his dick size in the first place as you dip your fingers beneath the waistband of your pyjama pants to touch yourself in time to the thrusts of his cock into someone else.

you have him on full view in the video in front of you, and the sounds of him fucking some girl into her third or fourth orgasm of the night just beyond the thin walls of your apartment. but the video in front of you ends and so you click on his profile and press play on the first thing that comes up because you're horny and in need of visual stimulation.

but you realize once the video starts up that it isn't a recorded porn video, it's a livestream: a cam show. you're watching your neighbor fuck some girl stupid while you're on the other side of the decorated wall in his background fucking yourself dumb on your fingers wishing it was him.

hundreds of people are watching, too, but none of them are hearing it in real time. feeling the walls vibrate each time the headboard hits it. none of them are going to wake up in the morning and bump into him in the hallway. he'll tell you good morning and get that sheepish look on his face because he knows he's loud when he cums and you look too tired to have slept through his orgasm.

you time your climax with his. release all over your sticky fingers when he cums deep in the girl he's got pinned into a mating press beneath him. you then realize, of course, that you'll never be able to look your neighbor in the eyes ever again now that you've watched him drain his balls into someone else, and you close your laptop lid to sleep.

you swear it will never happen again.

until it does.

the next night you're sitting on your couch with your laptop open. sitting in the waiting room of his cam show, a little 'thehonoredone will be live soon!' notification lighting up your screen as you make sure your toy is charged.

when there's a knock on your door, and you get up to answer it in your horny-brain-fog state just to swing the door open to satoru gojo, who is asking if he can borrow a laptop charger because his broke and he really can't have his laptop die in the middle of his... work meeting.

and you're so bashful seeing him, especially after what you did to yourself whilst thinking of him the night prior, that you don't even think about it, you just let him in! and the man you've now seen cum ropes is stepping into your apartment just to see your laptop (and vibrator) left laying on the couch. with his camshow waiting room open.

you'd be mortified if you had the time to be. because you don't know how or why it happens, but within minutes satoru's scheduled solo show turns into a marathon sex stream. 'SEEING HOW MANY TIMES I CAN MAKE MY NEIGHBOR CUM' is streamed live to hundreds of people who are all doing what you did last night, as they watch you get folded in half and fucked mean.

the screen doesn't even do it justice. he's big and rough but gentle in a way you can't think of the words to describe because the tip of his cock keeps kissing your cervix over and over again. the hands that you've only felt once when you shook his hand in greeting are now physically holding your thighs up so he can get deeper inside of you.

you learn a few things about your neighbor that night: like how he loves it when you say his name. and how he bites when he cums, sinks his teeth into your neck or shoulder or your chest when he spills into you just to fuck it deep and keep going. he also points out to you, when he whispers low in your ear so none of his viewers can hear, that every single person he's brought over to fuck, resembles you in some way or another.

you learn that they're all so loud because he really is just that good, but also because he wanted them to be loud. he wanted you to hear them get fucked mindless so that you'd get all hot and bothered at the thought of it happening to you too!

you also learn, as he fucks you through your last orgasm (sixth, by the way), that stumbling in on you gearingup to watch his pornm wasn't a mistake. he saw your name in his audience list... plus, he heard you time your orgasm with his lat night.

the walls are thin, after all.

i made a part 2!!!!