#who put that cuc there
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my fav safe (and low cal) foods! <3
so im someone who shoots for 700 cals a day bc i'm a server (lots of walking, lifting, always on my feet) and im also a college student! so in order for me to literally not pass out everywhere i go, i eat in somewhat larger volumes of super low cal foods! i try to focus on protein, carbs, fiber, and low fat. here are the foods i eat almost every day, if not every single day in different combinations:
quaker lightly salted rice cakes: 35 cals per rice cake and good for energy (the flavored ones are also amazing but differ in cals)
starkist light tuna in water (the packets!): 70 cals per packet and like 17g of protein
strawberries: low cal, good for when i have low blood sugar
light n' fit greek yogurt: 80 cals per yogurt, they have the best flavors, i think like 12g of protein? and they're great in smoothies
good culture lowfat cottage cheese: 80 cals per 110g (1/2 cup) and the BEST cottage cheese texture ever
english cucumbers: crispier than a regular cuc and rly low calories for super large amounts
healthy choice soups with BONE BROTH: usually like 190 cals for the whole can and they have more protein than the progresso light soups (which i also like)
barebells chocolate dough protein bars: 200 cals per bar but they hold me over for like 6 hours during work and the chocolate dough literally tastes like a candy bar
bob evans liquid egg whites: 25 cals per 3 tbsp and the bob evans brand has no fat, no carbs, and no cholesterol!
franks red hot original hot sauce: no cals (but lots of sodium) super clean ingredients and i rly do put this sh!t on everything. im a hot sauce wh0re
kraft zesty italian fat free dressing: 15 calories for 2 tbsp and super flavorful! my go-to for dipping veggies and i also put it in my tuna??? no judgement its good
sugar free jello: 5 cals per one jello cup and lowkey i like it better than regular jello its FIRE
pb fit powdered peanut butter: 60 cals per 2 tbsp of this stuff when dry is CRAZY its literally less than half the cals of like JIF reduced fat. doesn't taste as good but add like a tiny bit of honey or concentrated apple juice sweetener and its fire on a rice cake
seasonings are SO important for me bc i like flavor. seasonings usually have very low or no cals so try them out! don't make urself more miserable by eating some bland ass chicken
for drinks, i shoot for water, bigelow green tea with mint, coke zero, zevia, and monster zero sugar (esp the peach flavor!!)
annnnnnddddd i think thats pretty much what i eat! idk who's seeing this but i hope this helps someone who's not sure what to buy @ the grocery store! also if anyone has other low cal foods that they love pls lmk cus im always looking to branch out :)
edit: i also measure all my food in grams using a cheap scale i got at walmart and i log my meals in myfitnesspal... helps me have peace of mind when budgeting cals
edit: ALSO GRILLOS DILL PICKLES SPEARS they're 5 cals per spear (i fkn love these pickles)
#@n@ tips#@na motivation#sk1nny aesthetic#i wanna be sk1nn1#thinspø#tw mia#tw restriction#tw thinspi#tw skipping meals#tw ed ana#3d but not sheeren#3d not sheeran#tw 3d shit#tw 3d vent#3ating d1sorder#sk!nny#sk11ny#mealsp0#low cal meal#34t1ng d1s0rd3r#34t1ng dis0rder#tw ana bløg#tw ana rant#tw ed not ed sheeren#4norexla#4nor3xia#4n4blr#⭐️rving#⭐️ve#⭐️vation goals
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"On a mixed day, I was eliminated in the sprint race because of something stupid or because of some stupid bastard, I don't know who it was, and I came fifth in the qualification, which made me almost jump out of my skin with joy." In the literal sense of the word 'chill', I woke up today scratching my throat and coughing very hard and my nose was also running, I immediately called Dr. Yin on facetime, who immediately gave me advice on what medicines to take for my sudden cold. I can hope that it's not serious and it's really just a cold and it only lasts for a week, but Kelly also tries to help, she also hears my cough and tells me to leave, but she realized that medical care here is quite expensive, not like over there where they only look at you and it was almost free here, millions fly out the window if you have a cold and you are not insured. "Drink some more, yes, I know it sucks, but you said you were expecting a baby." I sipped it and spat it out again. I hate rose hips and all its creations. I am disgusted and disgusted by it. "Damn you, Will, you know that scabies is blowing rose hips, don't you know anything else?" "That's not what Jon said that it's good to drink for a cold during pregnancy."
"Kuc, cuc, buddy, you cough really badly." "If you hit my back with your fist and the fetus comes out, I'll beat you up right here, like the taxi hour?" "Good, good, I won't even fuck you with my palm, but you became worried, in your second trimester, Lando." "Not only is care expensive here and I have no idea what to do, but the fact is that the baby will not be born in Monaco." I looked at him and he was shaking him head, worried about the baby, and he was right about the birth, I wouldn't leave a million bill here just because of a birth. ,,England?" He was still shaking his head and coughing roughly. "I don't even know, although then my family would be there too." I looked at Oscar with tears in my eyes because I really don't know everything yet. If I choose England, it's not just me. My family will be there, but also Loki, although he said that the mother is dead, he doesn't know his father and he doesn't have a brother like me, but he also said that whether it's my daughter or my son, he wants to be there when it's born, it's a wonderful moment in life.
,,Basket this and that again! Wow, these WAGs can be beaten in basketball. Oh my god Lando!” I threw the ball and ran to him, he wasn't feeling well, he said in the morning that he thought he had a fever, I checked, there was a temperature rise of 37 and a half degrees, not a fever, but it was almost as they said that the pilots were all safe, I immediately took him to the hospital and told him everything. They laughed and said that it is common here in America for a man or a guy of his age to be pregnant, there is nothing surprising about it, they examined him and only received medicines with natural active ingredients and they said herbal evening tea and salt in a warm place. "Loki, don't worry, I'll get better, but believe me, it's a mild cold." He looked at me angrily and frowned, again a cute little boy was my cute little boy. "Lando, you do have a cold, but you're also pregnant. You should take this literally more seriously. It's not a common cold. If there are two of you, you should take care of it." I rummaged in his pocket, then knelt down with a small box in my hand, he caught it in his mouth and burst into tears of joy. "Will you be my husband Lando Norris?" He was still surprised, but he was already nodding and sobbing in joy, believing him ears. "Yes, I will be your husband, I fell in love with you, I love you." I put a ring on him and he fell on my neck sobbing. "I love you Lando." I couldn't believe that I would find the big one so soon in a famous competitor, and from now on I won't be bothered by the gossip magazines, my boyfriend is engaged and we are planning our wedding and he will have a child, well, not from me, but it will happen. "A nest of rumors has started." "Who cares dear, the only important thing is your health and that of your little one." He started to laugh at this, he leaned over and grabbed my chin, he didn't care that everyone was looking at us, he lived or we shared a kiss.
#fanfic#gay#gay couple#gayboy#lando norris#f1 fanfic#lgbtq#transgender#intersex#pregnancy#pregnant#prose#loki#mclaren f1#why are you crying#osc#biseuxal#miami#miami gp 2024#cutie pie#autism spectrum disorder#asd#autism#so cute#american football#basketball#sprint race#autistic community
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Evil Richard
I got my first summer job at 20 when I worked at Kinkos. They are a copy center and big surprise; I made copies. After college, I could not get a job because of the horrible 1994 economy, so I worked at Kinkos again. Not a great time.
One day, a person randomly came in wanting, big surprise, copies. It was company policy not to look at customer’s work, but everybody did it, leading to my first job. It was a tiny place, but I had a blast because there were no other engineers, and I could do things however I wanted.
The owner died, and the company folded. Major bummer. So, I tried to start my own business, which ended in disaster, but I learned a lot.
A year later, I took a job at a medical device company. This business was huge with procedures, documentation processes, production, and many employees. I had engineering coworkers, meetings, and had to follow established rules for the first time—quite an adjustment and learning curve.
Our group had about ten engineers, and we were coupled with documentation, which had five people. While a little dysfunctional, everybody got along, and the company made respectable products. I learned a lot quickly in those early years, especially people skills.
Like all big companies, there were hard workers, slackers, brilliant innovators, introverts, hard-headed opinionators, saboteurs, backstabbers, coaches, sounding boards, helpers, underminers, mentors, boneheads, leaders, followers, offenders, jokers, and those to avoid at all costs.
If you were to categorize me at that time, I was a smart, bratty, undisciplined kid who did good work. A big part of my personality was and continues to be pride, meaning that I had difficulty listening to criticism, suggestions, and following the rules. I was not a bad coworker, but I certainly needed improvement.
I could write at least one article about every one of my coworkers at the time, but I wanted to focus on one. His name was Richard, and he was a fellow electrical engineer. At that time, I was 25, and he was in his late 40s. At first, we went out to lunch together and enjoyed talking about engineering, the company, women, life, and the news.
Richard was a real “man’s man.” Bold, arrogant, confident, overcompensating, and thought he had a dashing look. He loved sexist jokes and would often comment, “I’ll put a man on it. Ha, ha, ha.” Physically, he needed to lose 30 pounds but otherwise dressed well.
Richard’s expertise was in power supply design. And I admit he indeed cobbled together some knowledge. His designs mostly worked, but they were sloppy. And I will admit to something else. I learned a lot from Richard.
He helped me out many times with power supplies, especially one called a CUC converter. I also learned a lot about life, especially female coworkers. The biggest lesson was what not to do by observing him. Richard was a tank blinding driving into a minefield when it came to coworkers. He would talk to them, learn what they were about, and then tell us what not to say. Secretly, I wish every company had a person like him because it would save trips to the HR office for ordinary people like me who accidentally offend coworkers.
About eight months into my employment, things began changing. Richard became distant and started blaming me for his problems. His work had never been great, but this new wrinkle forced me into a bad situation during group projects. I openly criticized his work and requested he not be on my projects. My behavior did not go over well with my boss, but I had to maintain my sanity.
I can trace the change to when Richard began dating a woman who worked in the production department. Like him, she was a larger-than-life person with a forward personality. It was widely known that she had substance problems, and Richard followed her down that path.
Around that time, I had a friend named Garry and another friend with the same name. To distinguish them, my friend Ray named one Evil Garry and the other “less than Evil Gary.” Because we had two Richards at work, I began calling one Good Richard while privately calling the other Evil Richard. We all had a good laugh during meetings when he was not present.
Richard’s life rapidly spiraled, and a coworker witnessed him snorting lines of cocaine on his desk. He smelled strongly of booze every day, and it was common to see him drinking in his car before/during/after work. We all saw empty 750ml Jack Daniels bottles scattered around the parking lot.
About six months into the devastation, a considerable problem occurred. The company changed from using its internally developed power supply to an outside vendor. Richard oversaw the selection process, and the rumor was that the saleswoman of the winning design had a relationship with Richard. (At this point, he broke off the relationship with the woman in the production department. I think this was because of her substance abuse or poor performance.)
We had shipped about a thousand products with these new power supplies, which failed like popcorn. Fortunately, we had a power supply expert. Yay? Richard bumbled around for a month investigating the issue until our boss called in an expert power supply consultant. (Note: Richard openly requested that I was not to be a part of this critical investigation. I was happy to comply and watch him fail.)
Together, the expert and drunk Richard attacked the problem. They were not progressing, and the boss hired a “problem-solving” consultant to manage the data. He helped focus the investigation and was instrumental in uncovering the problems. On a side note, the boss asked him to teach a problem-solving class. I learned a lot and still have a folder with notes and materials.
After a month, they had uncovered several issues but could not replicate the core problem. So, they rented an epic amount of test equipment, including an electronic load. I had never seen one before and played with it after work. Yes, I blew up a power supply in the process. What did I do? I placed it back in their “tested good” pile of supplies.
Even with all this help, they were stumped. One day, I was in the lab and saw them completely frustrated. The expert loudly complained, “We cannot get this to fail!” I did not tell them that I knew the settings on the electronic load, which would take out the supply, but they agreed to look at what they were doing. Since I was an expert in the system, it was apparent the configuration was completely different from what we were shipping. So, I correctly set up the system, and the power supply failed. They were stunned! Did I get any credit for this big breakthrough? Of course not.
The power supply had three significant issues: faulty circuit design, improper assembly, and counterfeit parts. By the end of the investigation, Richard was reduced to a helper. I also overheard a conversation with the boss where the consultant complained about his alcohol breath.
Despite the body abuse, Richard was physically fit and played racquetball twice a week. He was on a round-robin team at the local gym, and they had a tradition. On odd weeks, one player would bring beer to celebrate the game; on even weeks, the other. One week, Richard accidentally signed up for a 3 pm game. So, he was out buying beer at 2:30, and who was in the parking lot as he strolled out with a six-pack? That’s right, the boss. He got six days of unpaid leave, and he had to explain to HR how he would clean up his act. We all laughed about this, but he still drank like a fish.
As part of our job, engineers must conduct a design review. Typically, companies conduct the review in a meeting where engineers and managers review the design, comment, make changes, and ask questions. I do not enjoy this activity, but I accept it is part of the job. Richard and I took this opportunity to tear each other apart.
A traditional design review ends with a list of suggestions for investigation, accepted changes, and open questions. Then, the designer would make updates, send out new drawings with the list of changes, and answer the questions. Next, the other engineers would comment over email.
Richard’s input during reviews was always stupid, but I still went through the exercise to defend my design and thoroughly answer his questions. Of course, he never wrote down my comments/questions in the review, and the boss never made a fuss. Yes, this unfair treatment ticked me off.
Another one of Richard’s issues was he drove like a maniac. Everybody knew to avoid the red Honda that routinely cut them off in the parking lot and nearby streets. It is a miracle he survived the drive home every day.
One of Richard’s quirks was that he never went anywhere without his notebook. Typically, engineers record their technical notes, but for Richard, this was his primary memory device. One day, he misplaced his notebook and did not know what was happening. There was no choice, and he had to start another. Turns out, he left it in my cubical. I saw it, laughed, and ignored it for a week. When I asked him about it, words cannot describe how happy he was to get it back. In retrospect, I should have opened it to see what he had recorded or made photocopies of the absurdity.
Around the time of the racquetball incident, I listened to the morning radio. The DJs asked the listeners to tell funny stories, and one caller described placing a wireless microphone in a deeply paranoid friend’s car. When the friend discovered it, the prankster said, “Wow, I bet there are listening devices all over your home.” The joke went overboard because the friend tore out his drywall to locate more devices.
I happened to have a Radio Shack wireless microphone and placed it behind Richard’s monitor with the antenna poking out. He found it and asked everybody if they saw anybody in his cubical. When he asked me, I casually mentioned, “Wow, I bet there are listening devices all over your home.” He did not tear out the drywall but searched for two days.
Something had to give, and one morning, Richard woke up paralyzed. His roommate took him to the hospital, and he needed a week to recover. Richard vowed off drugs and booze. This was a vast improvement, but the damage was done.
What did we do about this problem coworker? We all complained to the boss, but Richard continued to be employed. I recall several conversations where one of us would say, “Well, if Richard gets away with A, this means nobody will complain when I do B.” It is amazing how one bad team member can bring down a whole group.
Eventually, Richard saw what was coming (I know he got awful job reviews) and worked as a salesman at a local electronic parts distributor. When I learned he was leaving, I blurted out, “Clearly, that company did not have drug testing.” But the joke was on me. Richard has “the gift of gab,” and he became an outstanding salesperson. This lasted six years until the internet changed component marketing, and he lost his job.
I ran into Richard about ten years later. He looked healthier and now works for Sony designing power supplies. So, if you buy a Sony device, chances are he created the power supply. I hope you have fire insurance.
You’re the best -Bill
October 09, 2024
Hey, book lovers, I published four. Please check them out:
Interviewing Immortality. A dramatic first-person psychological thriller that weaves a tale of intrigue, suspense, and self-confrontation.
Pushed to the Edge of Survival. A drama, romance, and science fiction story about two unlikely people surviving a shipwreck and living with the consequences.
Cable Ties. A slow-burn political thriller that reflects the realities of modern intelligence, law enforcement, department cooperation, and international politics.
Saving Immortality. Continuing in the first-person psychological thriller genre, James Kimble searches for his former captor to answer his life’s questions.
These books are available in softcover on Amazon and in eBook format everywhere.
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!! RANDOM UPDATES BC IM SILLY LIKE THAT !!
>> my pinned post (intro) has a new section with a "masterlist" of my paras
>> also will be making little profile post soon that will be easy to find from the pinned
>> mostly finished drawing my vtuber png model already, but I figured out who I want to do my actual stuff in the future
>> a little excited bc a little friend group making content thing I was in might come back so I'll be able to stream fr
>> it's getting hot so I wanna pick up some seasonal job to pay for my pc
>> evil stim.. EVILLLLL SOOO EVILLL
>> yk my body has been like hurting really bad recently
>> IM GONNA TRY CANES THIS WEEKS cuz they opened a spot near me
>> I'm still so evil
>> still struggling to find where to buy affordable clothes that are good quality cuc I cannot thrift in my area the prices are HORRID
>> my evil scale is 10/10
>> I gotta go through my twitter and delete stuff so I can have a clean page to put twitch stuff on
>> MIGHT CHANGE MY NAME ON HERE SO ITS NOT CONNECTED... I'm still Cyan but like idk maybe OMG I CAN BE EVIL CYAN
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Jadis looked at Jennifer as she heard what she said, So she was gonna help her that was good to know. Course Jadis knew she didn’t really Have a choice. After all she had given her an order. She stood there and watched Jennifer call it in nodding her head. She watched a few minutes later as the CUC was called in. And within minutes the body was gone and the blood was cleaned up. She was the only thing left that had any signs of what had gone down.
Once everyone was gone Jadis didn’t say a word. She just turned and made her way into her bathroom. Pulling off her clothes she put them in a pile then got in the shower where she cleaned off letting the blood wash from her. It didn't take her long before she made her way out dressing in a brand new outfit.
As she came out of the room she saw Jennifer standing there. She raised an eyebrow at her. “Thank you Mallick. For helping. And for sticking around.” She said. This here was an act. To make Jennifer not see who she really was. How she really was though she was sure that she need a least a little bit. @scarfacewastaken
Jadis frowned slightly at Jennifer’s words. Was she giving her a bit if an attitude? Yeah actually she was, but for now she shook it off. She hadn’t meant for it to get that loud it was suppose to be a quick death, but shit went differently. She dropped the knife by the body and wiped her forehead before she looked back at Jennifer.
“It had to be done, General Beale gave the order. He knew to much and threatened to tell others.” She said shaking her head. For Jadis she didn’t feel sorry for killing the man, No it was a part of the job but she was glad that it had been Jennifer that had showed up.
“Where are you goong?” She asked as she watched Jennifer start to head for the door. “Call it in Mallick, get this body out of here. Have a clean up team in here as well.” She said as she walked towards her one time mentor. “Im going to clean up and report back to Beale.” She said. She wasnt really giving her a choice it was an order. @scarfacewastaken
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Cats and cucumbers.
#hi yeah I love She-Ra#Scorpia is a TOP TIER WAIFU#PLEASE GIVE ME FIRST AID#Catra Glimmer and Entrapta are my daughters#shitcado#mayocado#mayocado art#who put that cuc there#was it adora? scorpia? entrapta? shadow weaver? LORD HOARDAX???#she-ra#catra#she ra catra
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I have an oversized closet/storage space in our basement that I converted to a multipurpose shop for woodworking, small item repairs, 3D printing and an indoor grow house. I’ve got it where it converts easily between the three with dust covers for my printers, a large air filter, a small freezer for resin prints (freezing them on the plate gets them to separate without attacking it with a scraper) which doubles as a seed bank.
Have about a hundred various tomato plants, yellow squash, zuccs, pumpkins, cantaloupes, watermelons, peppers, pickling cucs, etc. All will be going in to the gardens next week.
I see the prices on this stuff at lowes and feel like I need to preach the gospel to people; you can do this on your own for a fraction of the cost.
It’s not insanely labor intensive. LED tech has brought the cost of grow lights way down from the days of sodium halide lights and ballasts. Putting up seeds from late season/leftover or damaged produce in your garden is simple.
I collected the trays and containers from landscapers who were throwing them away after a job and reuse them every year.
The jiffy starter trays are about 10 years old. I buy peat pod refills off Amazon where you can get a hundred for 15 bucks. 1 50qt bag of good potting mix and I’m good to go.
Happy to help anyone who wants to learn. Let me know if you’re interested or have questions.
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Ready Set COOK!
A/N have this random ass fic I cranked out cause I watched some food network. I hope you all enjoy this as much as I did writing it!
"Y/N is arguable the best cook in the dorms." Mina says salivating over the thought of dinner as 1A figures out what they are going to try to convince you to make.
"Tch. Yea fucking right. I cook the best!" Bakugou chimes in suddenly flipping through the channels with fever.
"Ha!" You laugh dryly, "Maybe when I'm having a bad day."
He grinds his teeth as he glares at you, channel surfing forgotten.
"Let's settle this." He snarls although he barely moves from his lounging position.
"How do you declare we do that spicy boi?" A hush suddenly falls over the room at your most recent and his most hated nickname.
Explosions threaten to pop but the TV blares before he can.
"THIS WEEK ON COOK OFF!"
"OH OH!" Kirishima pipes in, jumping up to point at the TV frantically.
"Fuck no." Bakugou bites out, sending daggers the red heads way.
"Oh come on Bakugou it will be fun!" He whines only to be shut down again. This time with an explosion. The hot head jumps to his feet with smoking hands.
"I SAID FUCK NO!"
"Why? Too scared you'll get your ass kicked?" You prompt, looking at your nails as you speak. He stalks your way leaning over you as you sit on the couch.
"I'm too scared you'll lose so badly you'll have to commit seppuku to regain your honor." The tension is palpable in the large living room, making some of the students feel small from its weight.
"Oh so you admit you worry about me?" You say in your most flirtatious voice, placing your hand onto his shoulder because you love to get under his skin. He jerks back with crazed eyes.
"I don't give a fuck about any of you extras!"
"Good! Now we need judges. Todoroki?" You ask but Bakugou shakes his head.
"His palette is as expanded as a fucking toddler's." The ash blonde shakes his head, "Mother fucker eats cold soba for breakfast lunch AND dinner."
"Ouch." An invisible arrow pierces the two toned boy in the chest.
"Well..." You look around the room, "It can't be biased..."
"Deku? Oh no wait then you'll use him as an *excuse* when you lose." You giggle, his cheeks burn from the sound.
"Fuck you and fuck Deku." He snarls, "What about Shinso?"
"Aaahh that's a good one. He hates everyone equally." You chime in, placing your hand in your chin as you look over your peers.
"Wow glad you noticed." He rolls his amethyst eyes although he does not object.
"Oh Denki!" You point at the electric
"OMG YES MY TIME TO SHINE BABY!" He fists his hands into the pants of your legs, so happy to be included.
"NO! Not pikachu! His brain is FRIED!" Bakugou snarls and Denki let's out a sad 'hey' while a crocodile tear rolls down his cheek.
"Yes, that's what would make him the best wild card! You'll never know what he's gonna think!" You absentmindedly let your hand pet over the curve of his skull.
Part of you wonders if suggesting him is a bad idea. Your eyes flicker to the TV just to see someone asking the sweating chefs what they are planning.
"Kirishima can be the host!" You say with excitement, "Now we just need one more judge. Someone who likes to eat."
Silence settles over the room aside from the now low roar of the TV
"I've got it!" Your new ruby eyed host pipes in, "I'll ask Sun Eater senpai!"
"He's so meek. How are you going to get him to agree?" You ask as a some what devilish smile crosses his face.
"Oi, I forgot you came in after. Poor guy got pestered by shitty hair until he said yes to taking him to his agency." Bakugou crosses his arms.
"We'll compete tomorrow! I've got to prepare!" You stare after Kirishima who runs to get his phone, you cant see him bullying someone into helping him.
×××××××××
You had never been proven more wrong as you stand in the dorms over sized kitchen in front of the panel of judges.
Shinso who looks bored, Denki who reminds you of a kid hopped up on sugar and a petrified Tamaki.
"Welcome chefs!" Kirishima announces, it's funny how quickly he made the kitchen look much like the studio. Even forcing you and Bakugou into real chef jackets while Kirishima wears one of his suits.
"Oi, you really went all out." He growls, somehow making the compliment sound like an insult. You roll your eyes before you let them linger over Bakugou. Much like you he wears the black jacket with the sleeves rolled to the elbows, he has a towel resting over a broad shoulder.
Somehow this outfit makes your cheeks burn. You swallow, looking out over the "live" audience, aka class 1A with every chair they could find in the dorm piled into the smallest part of the kitchen.
Sitting on the edges of their seats.
"Today the two of you will be placed head to head agaisnt one another to become UA's top chef!" Kirishima announces with gusto even earning a small cheer from the audience.
"Tonights prize does not only include bragging rights BUT this!" He gestures widely to the obviously paper mache trophy, Bakugou snorts.
"Really? You could have asked Momo over there?" He points in the dark and Kirishima blushes a bit. Although he is saved as Momo walks towards the front, not breaking the attire with her long sleep dress that looks more like a ball room gown. Kirishima thanks her silently before punching the old trophy off with the new one.
"Who will when this amazing trophy and the title of UA's top chef?" Kirishima looks to the audience before adding, "Let's find out!"
"Contestants, today's challenge is broken down into three parts. Appetizer, entree and dessert! The three dishes must meld flawlessly with one another! You have ten minutes to look over the ingredients and come up with a meal plan. Starting.....now!"
The two of you jump, pulling open at the two large fridges behind you to be met with an array of vegetables and meats.
"Are they like timed?" Shinso asks, as he twirls his fork.
"Good question, Shinso. Yes each portion of the competition will be timed!"
As you begin to put together your game plan you rush towards the pantry. Fear making you hesitate, the pantry was mostly empty just yesterday.
"Oi! Open the fucking door!" A yell behind you before you rip open the cabinet with blatant rage.
Surprisingly the pantry is popping at the seams, ingredients pop out at you that you hastily grab.
"Chefs your time is up! You have fifteen minutes to begin prepare your first dish! GO!"
Excitement pushes your body into motion as you slice bacon strips down the middle. Your thoughts compete with the vigorous chopping from the station next to you as you delicately wrap sliced puff pastry around the now bacon wrapped asparagus.
"Chef Bakugou what are you preparing?"
"Use your fucking eyes." He growls, adding something to a bowl.
"Hey..." Kirishima sounds crestfallen, almost hurt and its hurt enough for Katuski to sigh.
"Alright alright. I'll tell you. Stop pouting!" He chops into a radish harshly to emphasize his point before going on.
"I believe its important to go a little on the lighter side for a starter. Almost refreshing cleanses the palette." Your ears perk at his deep voice as you pull your starter from the oven, "So I'm making a radish and cucumber salad with rice vinager and chili flakes for a small kick."
"It looks wonderful chef!" Kirshima comments before adding, "Five minutes to plate!"
"Shit..." You hiss to yourself as you delicately arrange your asparagus twists, while popping hands roast sesame seeds in an instant before tossing them into the salad.
The two if you plate, arrange and present until kirishima finally shouts
"TIMES UP! STEP AWAY FROM THE PLATES!" Both of you back away with raised hands.
"First up. Y/N-chan." Kirishima says happily as the judges look over their food.
Shinso takes a bite first.
"Flavorful. Savory. Its delicious." Is all he offers as he eats his second.
"Kaminari?" Kirishima prompts. Denki is smiling ear to ear before a rare seriousness washes over his features as he chews.
"I dont like asparagus." He states with a harsh tone.
"IM FUCKED!" You scream internally.
"But you've made me like it."
"IM UNFUCKED!"
Kaminari takes another bite, thinking it over
"The puff pastry is airy and buttery and surprisingly the bacon is crispy without your vegetable drying out. Very well done."
You glance at Bakugou who mouths
"Is he fucking Gorden Ramsey now?" To which you giggle.
"Tamaki senpai, please do not judge on usefulness for your quirk but by taste." Kirishima encourages as Tamaki almost shrinks away. He takes a bite before smiling.
"I..its delicious. Togata would enjoy this."
"Next up Bakugou!"
"Nice kick, cool cuc flavor. I like it." Shinso nods to Bakugou as he makes a mark in on the pad provided.
"Honestly, Chef Katsuki. I was really worried about the heat level when I saw your heavy handed toss of pepper flakes into the salad. But the flakes really bring out the tang of the rice vinager, the smoky flavor of the sesame seed while the radish and cucumber take the edge away *just* enough." Kaminari says before taking another bite, scribbling as he chews.
This time Bakugou looks to you and you laugh aloud at his bewildered scarlet eyes.
"Just got with it!" You call from your station. Struggling to keep your giggle.
Who knew confusion could look so cute?
"Its just the right amount of spice. Togata would enjoy this."
"Take your station, Katsuki as we will now begin the main course. You have thirty five minutes to prepare!"
Time ticks by faster than you'd like as your watched pot of water finally boils. You add in chopped golden potatoes setting a timer before butter flying your chicken breasts for a more even cook and better grilled sear.
Bakugou works furiously with his steak, pounding at it to quickly tenderize it, adding an aromatic garlic herb butter to a heated pan. He swirls the melting blob until it coats the bottom of the pan.
Both of you are about to start your meats before Kirishima breaks your concentration.
"Chefs! I've found an ingredient you HAVE to incorporate into your main dish." He presents a rectangular package that has you seething.
"KIRISHIMA WHAT THE FUCK?!" You both yell in unison, slamming your meats on your cutting boards.
"Dry packs of ramen noodles!" He announces in case either of you couldn't read the damn packaging!
"What the fuck?" Is all the two of you can say as you're tossed the package of ramen noodles. You stare at your dish, you couldn't easily shift your meal plan into Asian like Bakugou could thanks to his universal salad. The dishes had to be cohesive and you had fucking POTATOES BOILING TO BE MASHED
You stare almost stunned as the red rectangle stares back at you.
You hated ramen.
Meanwhile Bakugou grumbles to himself as he slices his steak into thin strips, adding ginger, a bit of sesame seed oil, green onion and some beef broth to boil.
He tosses in the package of ramen.
"This is cheap shit." He grumbles to himself before adding the steak in a few moments later slamming a lid onto the pan. He was lucky he picked a deep pan as opposed to his original idea of a shallow one.
"Half of the time is remaining chefs!"
"Perfect!" You slam your fist into your palm as you make haste. Quickly grabbing eggs, milk, flour and the food processor.
You begun to crush the noodles until they become a fine grain.
"Eji do we have to use the stupid flavor packet?"
"Fucking why would you ask?!" Bakugou snarls your way, ruby red eyes slide to the panel.
"Judges?"
"No." They answer in unison and you both sigh in relief. For you it would have been hard to incorporate to your sudden idea of fried chicken while the flavoring would be too salty and undercut the flavor building he had done for his dish.
You mash your potatoes, adding in garlic cloves, cubes of butter, a bit of season salt all before emulsifying it to a whipped state.
"Five minutes chefs!"
You begin to really sweat now, you didnt want to rush your chicken for fear of the batter not becoming crispy enough or worse yet an undercooked breast.
"Three minutes chefs!"
"Fuck! Cook chicky cook!" You mumble to the fryer, scarlet eyes shift to your bouncing frame, plating his own food, swiping juices that splatter.
"Come on plate damn it! It's done!" He shouts to you.
"You *do* care!" You tease, although your heart is in your throat as you place the chicken onto the plate, drizzling a honied mustard over the breasts.
"Like hell. It's just winning by default is boring. I want to watch them spit your food out." His voice comes out soaking in malice but his eyes say otherwise. Mischief and excitement dance along his scarlet iris.
"AND TIME!" You both step away from your plates. Breathing heavily as the two of you look down at your master pieces.
Bakugou places his hand on the small of your back to guide you in front of the panel as Kirishima grabs your dishes.
"Bakugou you're up first."
"This is not thirty cent ramen." Is all Shinso says as he slurps up the noodles before biting into the beef. No one misses his eyes flutter.
"Wow." Is all Kaminari can say chewing with delight, "Just wow. I would have thought the noodles were homemade. The beef is tender, all cooked evenly. The sauce flavorful, a hit of ginger and I'm surprised you hadn't added any heat. I would have loved to have seen a five alarm ramen from you."
Bakugou grinds his teeth to keep from shouting at his last remark.
"Togata would enjoy this."
"I'll be sure to make him a to go plate." Kirishima winks before presenting your dish.
"I never would have thought to use ramen as breeding." Purple eyes glitter as he devours the chicken.
"Me either. Its excellently light, you matured everyone's favorite honey mustard by making it with a sharper brown mustard and the potatoes are soft, beautifully whipped and garlicy!"
"This is 'southern food?'" Tamaki asks, "Togata would like it."
You smile warmly.
"Last round chefs! You'll have forty five minutes to prepare a dessert with *this* ingredient." He holds up a green can and your stomach sinks.
"Is that fucking wasabi?" Bakugou snarls, even the heat king is stunned.
"Yes chef it is. Please incorporate this ingredient into your dish. Starting...NOW!"
You stare at the green can. What in the actual fuck? Maybe you should have made a menu more geared towards Asian cuisine.
I mean you were in FUCKING JAPAN AFTER ALL.
You snatch onto the can, now was not the time to damn yourself. You could do this. You could beat Bakugou!
Even if it killed you.
You decided to taste it, youd never actually had it, just knew that it was potent.
"That's too much idiot!" Bakugou yells from his station just as your about to put a heaping teaspoon into your mouth.
"Like scoop with a chop stick." He says, showing you himself. His chopstick dips into the wasabi to return with the smallest of green.
You mimic him, popping it into your mouth as instant regret washes over you as you try to break down the components of the flavor.
It was hot with underlying notes of freshness, almost herbal as the heat began to fade.
But with that regret comes an idea.
You work vigorously grabbing all the chocolate you can find before making a batch of brownies, wasabi mixed into the batter.
Nothing was more southern than cake or a brownie.
"I'll fucking tell you what..." You finish the thought aloud as you worked.
All the while Bakugou glances to you with concerned eyes before he measures out the perfect amount of coconut milk to reduce with almond milk, a split vanilla pod, some sugar, honey and wasabi powder.
Soon his odd mixture becomes fragrant, the freshness of it competing with the richness of baking brownies.
Time ticks by too quickly as you snatch the wasabi powder from Bakugou adding the smallest amount to powdered sugar, cocoa and milk as you make the frosting to your brownies.
You feel like you're ahead of time as your plate, eyes looking over to Bakugou who is garnishing ramekins with edible flowers and flakes of coconut.
"Fuck." You murmur before pipping on some icing. Smoothing it out with a knife. Plating it as Kirishima obnoxiously counts down.
"Time!" He yells. You're shaking before glancing at Bakugou who seems nervous himself. Again he guides you to the panel, you lean into him for a bit of support.
Your heart was racing, sweat still dripping down the nape of your neck and beading on your brow.
You couldn't tell who's dishes they favored and there was a chance you could very well lose.
You'd hate to admit but Bakugou's station smelt fucking amazing all night.
"Y/N!" Kirishima smiles a wide tooth smile, "Wasabi brownies. Interesting."
"You mean fucking fire." Shinso says.
"Its astounding how the chocolate adds to the heat with out one overpowering the other. A delicate scale was balanced today."
You find Bakugou's hand by his side. giving it a squeeze to keep yourself form laughing. He leans towards you and whispers into your ear.
"Bet you're regretting adding Flavor Town onto the board."
A giggle escapes your lips that drives Katuski mad.
"Togata would love this! Please save a square for him!"
The judges cleanse their palates before moving into Bakugou's dessert.
"So delicate." Shino adds, looking down at the purple flowers.
"Watch it." He bites but you again squeeze his hand, this time whispering to him
"That means he likes it. You did an amazing job plating."
He watches you smile as you drink in their comments about *his * dish.
"I like that you start and finish things with a refreshing yet memorable dish. The edible flowers add immense color to this dish, the wasabi heightens the sweetness of the honey and the coconut flakes add a little bit of both crunch and depth. Excellent."
"So pretty..." Tamkai stares at his dessert before adding a small bite into his mouth. His eyes flutter and you know then that you've lost.
That's two different judges with different meals that he has impressed. He squeezes your hands, you look up to him expecting a smug smile only to see nervousness.
"The judges will now debate. Please sit in the waiting room while they discuss who will be UA's top chef!"
"Where the fuck is that?" The blonde snarls.
"The living room!" He whispers as you drag an agitated Bakugou with you.
The two of you sit in silence, sinking into the couches with tired bodies.
Adrenaline can do that to you. Minutes tick by before you sigh out.
"I'm pretty sure you won. You..." You gush, "Amazing. That salad looked so damn good!"
Katuski cannot help the smile that spreads across his face as he watches you sing his praises.
"Honestly your southern dishes were something new to them. That's far better and seriously ramen as a breeding? Innovative as fuck." He sags in the couch closer to you. The two of you half fighting over who really one by pointing out the best moves the other did.
Gradually gravitating closer to one another with heatedexcitement fueled by friendly competition. The two of you are butting foreheads as you argue.
"But the flowers were stunning...." The vigor in your tone dies down as you stare into something else that else stunning.
Scarlet eyes sparkle like gems in the low light of the side table lamps. Suddenly you are hyper aware of your proximity to him. You try to scoot back only for your hip to hit the arm of the couch, barely moving a centimeter. You were safely nestled between the couch and his amazingly muscular arms.
Bakugou swallows his desire as he drinks you in this close, having never realizing how pretty you actually were.
Add that to your ability to kick ass on the battle field and in the kitchen had Bakugou looking at you in a whole new light. He seems to choke on his desire as one strong hand finds the nape of your neck.
"I bet nothing tastes as delicious as your lips." He says before pressing his own to yours.
The saying alone has your body flushed and a small whimper erupts in the back of your throat as you closed your eyes.
Shit.
You liked arrogant, smart mouthed, excellent chef handsome ass Bakugou.
And now that you've tasted him, you'll never want to eat anything else again.
You kiss him back with matched passion and the two of you forget about the competition for a moment. Foot steps had the two of you breaking apart, cheeks burning brighter than the boy's hair whose entered the living room just missing everything.
"They are ready to announce the winner." He turns on his heel, expecting the two of you to follow. Both of you share a look before standing. Bakugou wraps his arm around your waist pulling you close to him so he can whisper in the cockiest tone he can muster.
"After they announce me as winner. Let me make you dessert."
@we-starlight-in-the-making @kiribakuho @babybakuu @zbops @crimsondream-1 @alwaysmy crazy ass did it. I made the fic I wanted
#bakugo x reader#katsuki bakugou x reader#bakugou x reader#bnha x reader#bnha imagine#bnha crack#bnha fanfiction#bnha fun#bnha cook#katuski bakugou#bakugou#katsuki bakugou#bakugou katsuki#bakugou fluff#bakugou x you
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Today I picked up a cooking sauce, only because it was on discount, you know, please-buy-this-it's-one-step-above-free prices that tell you they're desperate to get rid of something before it hits its date, and I guess anyone who's shopping food in clearance has got to be so confident in their ability to clean out a bottle in under two weeks (or you know, not live alone,), and I am not anyone. I have zero confidence I'll be able to finish it, but I picked it up, even though I am so indifferent to the flavouring I picked up that it might not have existed on my radar at all: butter chicken. Mlehmlehmleh bland, boring, too few herbs and spices; it's just chicken in heavy cream, you've all been duped. Knew I'd be indifferent to it at best and mildly annoyed by its existence at worst, but I bought it. (Have I already made a post about the sheer number of possibilities you have in Indian cooking? Look at the possibilities, and it's not chicken in cream. That's overrated. It doesn't even taste good. I can and will willingly excuse a biriyani. The sheer number of flavours in it all at once; the layering, the way the spices are actually cooked into the rice (unless I'm wrong), or a good, simple, versatile paneer. Any vegetable, even. Oh, south Indian chillis. There's a lot you can do. But I repeat myself.)
Anyway, I tried it, and it's everything I expected. I checked the labellings properly later and noticed that it's a British import (literally why. There are Indians in this country. No wonder they were so desperate to get it off. Especially right now with the delay times, how long does shipping from the UK even take?), which immediately tells helps me sort out a few tastes. (Don't worry, the point of this post is flavours, and the target of this post is butter chicken. No Brits were harmed in the writing of this post.)
As much as the origin of a dish may be India, it changes when it leaves, as does any dish from another country. Based on which parts of India are better represented in another country (or smaller jurisdiction), the flavour of stuff will differ. I made a whole long post about the composition of garam masala, an Indian blend of spices that is used in like half the north Indian cooking you do, and it's sort of like that with most dishes. (Phew, the research I did for that post by the way! I put it up on my proper proper blog (not Tumblr, this site is hanging on to the tag of 'social media' for dear life. It's one rung below. Though, does anyone remember when social media platforms used to be called "micro-blogging sites"? Not one soul says that anymore, we've come a looong way from "the actor confirmed their role in a post on the microblogging site Twitter" to "SM".). Anyway I showed it to my mum and she was proud though she laughed. She'd laugh more if she knew I had a tumblr.)
Anyway, my verdict on this, less so Indian and more British, masala: too many cloves. Too. Maaaaaany. Cloves. for my liking! Cloves and ginger! Possibly cinnamon. Why does anybody like this?? (Fun fact, I don't know if you can look this up, but cinnamon's Hindi name is daalchini, which I guess taken apart would read pulse (general)-sugar. I know cinnamon is a spice but that fact always surprises me a little tbh, given how much I associate it with baking, coffees and all. It's literally in the name! —in at least one language)
My conclusion on this however? Hoo boy, Brits need to discover lemons someday ;)
Edit: It's going to bother me if I just left this post at that, I am here to spread lemon propaganda afterall, aren't I? I might as well teach you right. You don't need to cook with lemons. Lemons are part of the serving (etiquette?), you may in fact have seen them in restaurants if you've ordered Indian. The complete profile would be squeezed lemons along with sliced, salted onions, the salt can be omitted if you like. Do not drain!! Then you can go extra on the salad plating, and pile the lemony onions with chillis [ :) ], carrots, tomatoes, cucumbers, sprouts, radish, beetroots; literally whatever you want, but it's gotta be raw/uncooked, and dipped in salty lemon. Then you pick up the wet onion slices and eat them with your main dish. That's how lemons are done, try it!
#curds are only optional in exceptional circumstances or we're having a Word btw#Letting you off if you are lactose intolerant though#Mum suspects I was lactose intolerant as a kid#she fed me; I threw up; it was the cycle of life#mum does suspect that vengeance might have played a part in this one-year old's motions cycle (and ya know not an allergy)#She surmises I grew out of it (a baby needs to survive)#so now you know that about me (I'm stronger than milk btw don't try me)#I don't know what to tag this#It's just mind dump#I'm not even cooking#it's just lemon propaganda#Indian cooking#(but I'm not doing it#I'm so bad at it#like I cannot make the intention sit in#my mind that I am going to cook Indian#the task. It is Herculean. Je refuse#cooking#vengefully tasting#goodie look we have a new tag category!#vengeful thoughts
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Hi
I was wondering if you have any sources for fancy mice care?
I'm preparing to get a group of four ladies next month, and while I've done tons of research I'm still looking for more sources or knowledge for odor control, food recipes and substrates!
I was also wondering, I have around +3 kg worth of unopened finch / canary seed leftover from my feathered friend who passed recently... I'd hate for them to go to waste, so is it okay to add them to the stable diet mix I'll be making? It's mostly tiny seeds like millet, grass-, hemp- and linseed. I think there's also small pieces of biscuit, but I can remove those. I'd be adding some nuts and sunflower seeds that you'd usually find in parakeet and other bird seed mixes, though in moderation since they can be too fatty in large quantities.
Currently I'm planning to serve the mix in the evening with some limited fruit&veg or other treats, after they've had their pellets in the morning. I am open to change my mind tho, the wellbeing of the girls is most important!!
Any bioactive enclosure info would be greatly appreciated as well! Thank you in advance and my apologies for the length :3
I’m super late in answering this, so I’m not sure how helpful I’ll be. My apologies!!
I believe this is the forum that I was given as a good resource before - https://www.petmousefanciers.com/
I haven’t done much research myself on diet & nutrition for mice, so I’m not sure if the finch food is a good idea or not. If you decide not to risk it, it should be okay to put out for wild birds to eat if you want it to go to good use!
And for bioactive enclosures, check out the Bioactive and Naturalistic Mammal Setups group on Facebook! The key point for mice is making sure you have a big enough enclosure - they’re very messy and produce a lot of waste, so you need plenty of space in order to spread that out and have enough CUC to work on it. They’ll also likely eat some of the CUC, so you’ll have to regularly add more, and you may need to scoop out heavily used areas as well, depending on how things go. But the group should have lots of posts to help steer you in the right direction if you decide to give it a try - I know there’s a good number of mouse owners in there!
Good luck with your new critters, I’m sure they’ll be tons of fun! :)
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Garden Report 20.09.06
Harvest notes: blackberries peaking; harvesting quince (early this year); brought in all apples (Queen Cox, all red flesh varieties); hydrangeas cut flowers; elderberries on-going -- new flush of blossoms on half the shrub; hops; cherry toms; lemon cuc; zuc; strawberry (scant on ever-bearing and alpines/end of season); tays and rasp appear to be done = no more fruit/blossoms; strawflowers.
Seed gathering: parsnips, nasturtiums, broccoli.
Other: few blueberries are trying to bloom again. Asian pear and heirloom pear are getting closer to harvest. Heirloom is streaking up/gathering its blush. Asian pear is putting another flush of leaves and few blossoms, fruit maturing nicely.
Brought in all the apples for juicing. Have enough berries to do jam but may just put in freezer for Christmas pie. Quince are coming off early and looks to be a staggered crop. I have enough to do something: quince marmalade, quince jam ... chutney would be nice but only half of the household will eat so ... maybe later.
Drying the hydrangeas and will later give as gifts. I have so many straw flowers I am starting to wonder at what point do I stop gathering -- I don’t have a set project and my youngest who wanted these is like ‘surprise me’ (surprise! you figure it out! raw craft materials); I know she wants a crown. Maybe I should make a lots and sell but then that is what my friend does so don’t want to step on toes. Maybe just a large garland for her room to drape about.
Chickens were very freaked out today. I had to spend a great deal of time calming them down because all three were screaming and carrying on. I don’t know why.
Loving laying in stores from the garden, deals (close outs/barter) and gathering things for winter. Making beef jerky right now but am finding how inadequate my knifes are and I still can’t find many of my heavier kitchen equipment like my meat slice (found the tortilla press and blender canisters (but no machines) and the non electric sausage stuffer/press but nothing I need right now. They may have escaped with the past but at least it is serving the purpose of forcing me to deal with it and all the baggage (mental and physical) ... just little pieces at a time.
#catholic gardener#gardening#garden#permaculture#urban homestead#chickens#fruit#berries#harvest#winter pantry#harvest gifts#flowers#drying flowers#seed gathering#silly plants want to skip winter and move right back into spring#some are ready to sleep it off until official spring arrives#topsy turvy seasons
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“You’re a Pussy.” “ O
.. Profits ᴘʀᴏғɪᴛs ᴾʳᵒᶠᶦᵗˢ” “shut your fucking face.”
[S̻̠̟̙͓̠̞̪͇̰̳̩̀͢ͅH̵̵̵̻̞͉͖͈̗̼̳͔̦͎̖̩̣̫͙̱̀H͏̟̞̳̝S̀͝͏̷҉̩̰͚̯̮͓̳͚̦̼H̸̡̹͍̭̼̩̟̱̫̭̳̗͠S̴̷̨̛͕̫̙̙͎͍̼̗̹̭̞͍̼͈ͅH̨̹̗̪̝͕̗͓͓̬̟̳̥͚̦̪̹͔̫̀͜͞ͅS̢̢͖̙̭̖̫̺̩͖͙̘̮̩̤̕͠Ḩ̩̳̻̤̻̰̙̹̪͉͙̪̫̳̙͈̯͉̕͠͝ͅH̴̨̘͚̫̲̙͖͍̮͙̥͓͢ͅS̛͟҉̶̦̮͇͇̜̺͖͎͖̝͚͓̹H̨͝҉̨͈͖̭̝̬S̵̨̛̞͖̰͓͍̤H͇̫̝͙͉̺͎̥͠S̀͠҉͍̺̪̘̣͙̦͕̗̯͠͝H̷̕҉̬̜͖͍͔̭͉̜͓̜̠͖̟S̴̷̕҉̻̭͎͓͍͕̺͖̫̜̥͔̟̗͔̘H̸̡͔͉͉̼͚̤S̨̨̛̻̺̗̞̗͓̥̞͈̗H̛̛͈̲̟̰̝̱̮̤̜̖̥̭͞͡ͅS̴̝̩̥̱S̴̥̲͙̘̦̕ͅͅS̨̜̱̜̘͈͓̗̣̱̗̕͟͜͡H̡̜͕̪̙͎̳̯̤̙̠̣̩͎͉̟̳́̀̀͡Ş̸̷̞̱̟̦̯̻͕̖̹Ḩ̴̸̯͈͚͚̱͍̟͍͈S̴͡͏̩̗̫̼̮̫͈̳̻̗̹̰͉̭̹̳̪͘H͓͍̫̻̻̮͕͉̹̖̬̪̬̕͡S̷̨̟̯̘̩̯̝͙͖̬̣͈̖̤̥̩̼H̨̳͉̝͖̩̜͕̫̖͜͜H̴̵̭̤̳̦͓̭̲̝͚̩̹̮̀͘͞S̵͘̕͜҉̱̙̦̹̫̙̩̖͙̜͎H̶̶̯̳͓̥̠̗̬̣͖̦͇̱͢͟S̗̖̖̫̗̠͔̥̕Ḥ̵̴̪̣̣̫̻̦̘̮͉̜͉̲͍̞͘͡S̶̱̘͉͖̗̳͕̯̘̺͔͔̩H̛̺͖̟̘̗̻͚͕̟̩̫̤͔̱̱́ͅS̵̸̡̡̙͈̮͍̰͓̰̞̤͈̱͘H҉͖͈͚̯̦̼͕̠͓̙̱̹̫̦̘͓͔̮͢H͉̞̙̣̟͚͚̕H̵̵̢̨̭̖͎̥̮͕͚̩̭̰̣̜̰S̟̜̳̳̀͞H̵̷̝̤̙͕̙̭̭̖̳̰̗̜͓̙̺͇̞͡͡S̵̢̼̟̘̻͓͕͇̤͍͕͈̥̖̲H̢̗̣͚͈̞͎̭̗̝̠̮̻̥̀͘͢S̡͍͔̮̹͖̩̜͙̙̰̱̤̣̳̼͉̖̀̀Ḫ̴̬̭̯͢͝͠]
“I’m gross, Who’s Drinking?”
“Everyone in all ages, especially the Cat Consumer. A consumer that’s looking for an Olive, ub ub ub, a Consumer that’s looking for a Turd, Meat Meat Pepsi has Carrion.”
“HaH. Au misddddddddd crystal isddddddd?”
“We fucked tits SaaS LaaL, We was building some LuL displays that actually prevent us from running away from crystal pepsi, and that will increase your Seals and Privates.”
“How will crystal Helpsi Help increase Help in my Help? [bone noises]”
“One of the nice things about crystal pepsi is that 50% of the people who try crystal pepsi Vomit crystal pepsi back into those same crystal pepsis then vomit again. yum yum”
“ howsws crssrs psps dnnnaii saaus faaufraar? eeh?”
“ 50% is successful in our test” “ Dddddddddddddddddddddd”
“try again.”
“pepsicsi dnfnf” “Profits.”
“I’m really concerned that selling this new Crep, could hurt my Heps”
“Intestines have actually increased.” (bbr)
“Crystal Pepsi builds traffic which means... profits!”
“ ..O.K. I’ll have sex. But i have no Play Space for Sex”
“ -But sex will mean extra profits.”
“OK you’ve convinced me. You can put your crystal pepsi display up your crystal pepsi ass” “We found Crystal pepsi up my ass!”
“OOOOsl Osl oZozl ZooZl HohzL. I’ll go along with that thing about the sex barrel.”
“Space Is Cold.”
“The Mom Crowd usually runs in and grabs a juj sandwich and they’re on their way, rrl, rrlr rrlr rrrʳʳʳ ggggggg𝓰𝓰𝓰𝓰𝓰” “I realise you’re ziliaar”
“gz gnz gz zaarbaa” “Hwevrhaar” “auhsnnsshahreah”
“snaas” “reer”
“Drinks and sandwiches are a natural link, If they’re grabbing a cum sandwich they’re gonna wanna get sum cum to drink.”
“WaaW. I just don’t think Crystal will sell.” “I’m not interested in your concern, However you’ve got a hot ass, and we can tap that.”
“You say Crystal Poopsi has a TooT MaarM, that’s 99.” “A Toot mom, a toot MuuM” “Toot MaarM” ”Toot Mom”
“That’s not enough.” “A 2222222222 Perceeeeeeeeeeeent”
“OK”
“You Bitch.”
Profits. Profits. Profits. Profits. Profits. Profits. ᴘʀᴏғɪᴛs. Profits. ᵖʳᵒᶠᶦᵗˢ.ᴾᴿᴼᶠᴵᵀˢᴾᴿᴼᶠᴵᵀˢᵖʳᵒᶠᶦᵗˢ
#ytp#noisepuppet#crystal pepsi#shitpost#transcript#sus#jej#mem#toot#Tunis#Intestines#Cola#profits#youtube poop#youtube#you tube poop#You. You tube poop?#You're telling me you tubed this poop?
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To the kitchen... #21
A right pickle
Illustration by Jessica Kendrew
In Aztec mythology, the 400 Rabbits were a group of divine rabbits who met for frequent drunken parties. Their father was Patecatl – who happens to be the god who first discovered the art of fermentation.
We’re very pious people at Four Hundred Rabbits, so all of our favourite things are fermented: sourdough pizza, craft beer (some of our best staff drink so much we think they must be pickled on the inside...) and of course our famous cucumber pickles. They’ve been on our menus from the start, and we’ll never let them go. Here’s how we make them...
INGREDIENTS
5 large cucumbers
1 red onion
80g salt
300ml cider vinegar
5 whole cloves
5g of each: ground turmeric, black mustard seeds, fennel seeds, coriander seeds
200g brown sugar
METHOD
Cut the cucumbers and onion into slices. About 4mm is good.
Get a colander and put the veg inside, sprinkling a good amount of salt as you go (use all the salt for this).
Rest the colander over a deep dish or saucepan and put something really heavy on top of the veg (a bowl of water works well). Leave for at least four hours. You want to get all that excess water out, but keep the crunch.
Once that’s done, hold the colander under running water, tossing the cucumber and onion constantly. Keep testing for any saltiness (you don’t want any). Leave to dry.
Put the vinegar, spices and sugar in a saucepan and stir over a medium heat until the sugar has dissolved.
Bring to the boil, add the cucumber and onion and cook for three minutes. You want the cucumber browned, but not cooked. Cooked cucs are soggy and disappointing. Trust us.
Remove from the heat, leave to cool, then transfer the pickles (with a bit of the juice) to your receptacle of choice. Store in the fridge. They get better with time. But that’s a private battle between you and them.
Come into our restaurants in Nunhead, West Norwood and Crystal Palace and quote “pickles” to get some free pickles. To book a table email [email protected], and follow us on Instagram and Twitter @4hundredrabbits
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My interest in video games was such that I learned as much as I could about the industry and kept up to date on what was happening within it. And that knowledge has been moving me further left since fucking high school.
I’ve seen the hellishly unbalanced and unfair publisher/developer dynamic at work for over two decades. At the outset, the companies that actually do all the work of making the game were completely at the mercy of the companies capable of manufacturing and distributing the physical copies to gamers, and publishers have ALWAYS abused that fact. Some publishers aren’t as shitty about it as others, but that dynamic has lead to censorship (the “Nintendo Seal of Quality back in the NES days wasn’t just about preventing the glut of shovelware that plagued Atari before the stock market murdered them for not making enough of a profit), games that should have been amazing ruined by the devs not being given enough time to actually finish them (KotOR 2 was kneecapped by being Christmas Rushed and LucasArts wouldn’t even let Obsidian put out a patch to fix it... Dragon Age 2′s problems were pretty much entirely from its obscenely short 18-month development cycle compared to the four years its predecessor took... and VtM: Bloodlines got screwed over by Valve specifically so that it would come out just after Half-Life 2 so Troika got hit with both a rushed deadline and being forced to wait to release the game, and Valve wouldn’t let them use the extra time to work on fixing bugs either), and entire development companies being destroyed. That last one requires a bit of explanation. See... developers, up until very recently, had a choice between shopping around to different publishers for each game (which was time consuming and not in any way guaranteed) and selling themselves directly to a publisher to get funding and guaranteed distribution for their games (which gives the publisher in question even more power over them). Once a developer gets bought by a publisher, their destiny isn’t their own anymore.
Sierra Online (one of the big names in early PC gaming) got bought by a publisher that was itself owned by a giant corporate hellblob called CUC that didn’t understand or care about gaming, and was downsized multiple times before CUC sold the publisher to Activision, who finished murdering Sierra within a year of that acquisition.
EA is well known in gaming for buying developers, getting a few good games out of them, then giving them shit deadlines and an absolute lack of support and using “lackluster sales” of the resultant mess as an excuse for murdering them... Bullfrog, Origin, Jane’s Combat Simulations, Westwood, Maxis, Mythic Entertainment, among others (Bioware fans live in fear of the day when their favorite RPG maker is finally killed off by the fuckers).
Blizzard Entertainment (previously owned by CUC, the same corporate hellblob that did most of the work of murdering Sierra) has so far managed to avoid being killed off, but given that Activision laid off 800 of its people literally just after announcing record profits (and more suspiciously, less than a year after Blizzard’s remaining co-founder, Mike Morhaime, retired), it’s looking pretty shaky now too.
Obsidian Entertainment, made up of people who got screwed over when Interplay killed their previous development studio, Black Isle (who created the Fallout series), and then died itself, basically went the opposite direction up until their recent acquisition by Microsoft (and given that Microsoft then entered into negotiations for the rights to Fallout with Bethesda and eventually just gave up, pulled a Disney, and ate the company that owned them, I’m pretty sure that acquisition was aided by the words “We will get Fallout back for you guys”). Obsidian was a mercenary developer. They would basically say “We will make this game in this much time for this much money, period”. Which is why Obsidian had a reputation for making amazingly well-written games that were frustratingly buggy.
Recently, a MAJOR crack in the publisher/developer dynamic has opened up, though. Between being able to publish games on PC and all of the consoles without having to actually make physical copies, and being able to get funding through Kickstarter (a practice pioneered by Obsidian and Double Fine), developers can now avoid dealing with publishers at all. If you’re wondering why indie games have exploded onto the scene so spectacularly in recent years, that’s why.
And then there’s the industry practice of “Crunch Time”. Weeks or months of hellish mandatory overtime leading up to the final deadline for the initial release version of the game. Some companies try to avoid it as much as humanly possible (in fact, the guy in charge of CD Projekt Red has very recently publicly apologized to his entire company for the fact that they’re even having to do it at all for Cyberpunk 2077), and others try to make up for its effects on morale and sanity (Blizzard, at least when Morhaime was still in charge, regularly held on-site events to help people unwind and center themselves during it), but EA literally got sued for not even paying overtime during the Crunch when people were working 12-hour days SEVEN FUCKING DAYS A WEEK.
EDIT: So, yeah. The majority of gamers who have gone far-right aren’t even invested enough in gaming to know what goes on behind the scenes. Given their reputation for toxic gatekeeping bullshit, it is ironic that they are, to use one of their own favorite insults against them, fuckin’ casuals.
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Writing Prompt #11 (free): Bloodsands
Content Warning: There’s a picture of blood, in sand, under the cut. I put it under the cut this time, because I know some people have issues with seeing blood. Hope it isn’t too upsetting to anyone ♥
They called them the Bloodsands. Tenaki supposed that was because of how much blood was spilled on them. You could always count on Ul’dahnians to have little to no imagination when it came to naming things. ‘The Bull of Ala Mhigo’ indeed. Well, now her own blood was dripping down her arm, mixing with the sand and joining the now doubt thousands who had spilled blood here.
She had initially attended to the coliseum to meet with an old friend and contact within the Maelstrom, a miqo’te Seeker named T’cuc who frequently got himself injured trying to impress girls. He had even once jumped in front of a bandersnatch to ‘protect’ her and gotten himself gored.
After patching up T’cuc, she had hung around and offer succor to a few of the gladiators; after all, the Coffer was only a few minutes away, and she had time to spend - why not provide healing? How that translated into her current situation was a little beyond her.
The sword clove for her face, and the lithe xaela brought her buckler arm up, deflecting it off to the side, before countering with a quick jab of her own. The sabre she had been given was light, like her rapier, but the slight curve to the blade and its use as a slashing weapon, not a piercing one, meant that he blow was easily countered.
What the fuck am I doing here? she asked herself, internally, as she danced around an axe blow that came in from the right. Cuc is fine. I healed several gladiators. I should be back at the Coffer, drinking hot chocolate and going over those tomes. The axe smashed into her shield, and she felt the wind leave her lungs as she bounced across the Bloodsands, getting grit in the cut on her arm.
She got to her feet, and watched the two hyur move in on her; the highlander with his broadsword, the midlander with her axe, both of them sensing victory. Well, fuck. Throwing the sabre aside, she took a calming breath and summoned her rapier, the glittering purple blade lancing out of nowhere. “No magic,” the highlander warned her, giving her a wary look.
“No magic,” the xaela agreed, before darting forwards and throwing the shield directly at the woman’s face. The steel discus bounced off the headpiece that she wore, but the ringing sound reached even the edges of the training grounds, as Tenaki leapt up and delivered a sickening punch directly to the woman’s nose. She fell back, cursing her, and the man swung his hefty broadsword at Tenaki’s side. She took the Bloodsands at a roll, springing up and poking at his unprotected flank with three sharp jabs, which made him yelp.
The midlander backed away slowly, wary of the sudden frenzy that the xaela was displaying, and furrowed his brow at her. “Should have given you a rapier instead,” he grinned, clearly enjoying himself despite the way the tables had flipped. “I didn’t think Far Eastern sorts would be so handy with an estoc.”
Tenaki smiled in response, swishing her aether blade and giving him a nod. “I discovered it in Gyr Abania,” she informed him, darting in with several more jabs that he barely parried on the flat of his blade or shield. “I like it.”
“How do you like this?” Tenaki felt her heel scrabble and slip in dirt as she tried to turn, but something her her hard on the head and she felt herself fly forward hard enough to eat sand.
There was a chuckle from in front of her, then a “oh fuck!” from behind her, as she felt herself pulled up from the sand. The highlander that she’d thrown the shield at was wearing a worried expression and cradling her in her, admittedly comfortable and muscular arms. “Shit, m’sorry, ma’am,” she murmured, looking sheepish. “It’s just, you ain’t supposed to turn your back on anyone in the Bloodsands. It’s kinda, uh, Lesson 1.”
The xaela groggily reached up, and patted the highlander’s face. “Lesson learned,” she groaned, going limp in the woman’s arms and letting herself be carried off the sands. She came to several minutes later, with her two sparring partners standing over her. The midlander woman still looked worried, whereas the highlander man just looked amused.
“You clearly know how to fight, but you’re a little reckless,” he informed her, biting into a mirror apple and chewing loudly, mouth open. “Didn’t Cuc say you were a doctor? Where’s a doctor get off being so stupid? No offence,” he added, with a grin.
Tenaki held the ice pack to her head, cursing under her breath as the headache began to throb really bad. “I am a warrior of the steppes,” she mumbled back, her intent to sound proud and stalwart not quite making it past her own dizziness. “I.. live for.. oh Nhaama, I feel sick. Did you give me a concussion?” She gave the midlander an accusatory look.
“I’m sorry!” The woman looked genuinely panicked for a moment. “It was the perfect opening, you seemed to forget I was there after you donked me with the shield. Nice move, by the way,” she put in, with a nervous chuckle.
The xaela smiled and leaned back. “It is fine. I deserved it. Forget the Bloodsands, xaela are taught to never turn their backs on an enemy. I just.. Have a lot on my mind,” she murmured, looking away from the two of them, giving a little wince as she clutched her head again.
“Who is she?” Tenaki gave a start, and looked around at the broad chested highlander, who was smiling at her. “You’re Borlaaq, right? Who is she?” There was a knowing twinkle in the eyes of the older man that made Tenaki both blush, and feel a little at ease.
Sitting up a little, she glanced between the two. The midlander woman looked curious, too, so the xaela gave an indignant huff, and folded her arms onto her knees. “Well then, let me tell you about my Moonbeam.”
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Recordia flordia purple
Shortly afterwards I found the Steel Blue Ricordea and put it in the corral. The only ones that have stayed put, are the Teal Oddball Florida and the Green Ricordea.ġ/23: In an effort to keep them contained, I created a "corral" for the small Purple and Green Fluorescent Ricordea. Scaled lettuce coral Keeled lettuce coral Purple lettuce coral Low relief. In order to keep a healthy and happy Ricordea Florida Mushroom Coral would will have to. sanctithomae Ricordea florida Stephanocoenia michelinii Madracis asperula. They require supplemental feeding of small leafy foods like planktons and brine shrimp, in addition to its diet of macro algae tissue. Multicolor Ultra Ricordea Orange w/ Green Center WYSIWYG. This mushroom coral are photosynthetic and carnivorous. Live Coral Robbie's Corals Large Ultra Green Ricordea Mushroom WYSIWYG 1.5'-2'. This happened once before on the 12th and was found a couple of days later. Ricordea Florida can handle higher nitrates than SPS or LPS corals. This morning it wasn't on the rock and I have yet to locate it. By the next morning, it was opening and continued throughout the day. After continously having to rescue them from being dislocated by the currents and/or CUC, I have decided place some on rock rubble at the bottom of the tank, with the exception of the Steel Blue Ricordea who seems content up there.ġ/22: The evening of the 20th, the Steel Blue Ricordea started to lift and folded in half. Some early images of our first Ricordeas received from Sea Life Florida on Jan 9th, 2007.Īt first we hoped they would attach to the reef, in the earlier images they were on the top of the reef.
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