#who let me have a keyboard

[jacks347]

Eternity has never been kind to lovers

Word count: 5000 Enjoy my pretties >:3

~~

Albus had once been asked if there was anyone he left at home when he went off to be a hero. He'd laughed off the question, saying he wasn't a hero and he had no home so who would be waiting for him?

In truth, his home was a place that hadn't existed for him in many years. As an immortal demon, time had stopped really having a meaning to him. So the years had all started to bleed together, his trips back to the little house in the woods becoming less and less frequent. He'd failed to notice the silver starting to thread through Devlin's hair, the lines creasing around Faith's eyes and mouth, or the little girl becoming not so little anymore.

It wasn't like he meant to, it was just how things ended up. He gained more credibility and prestige as a bounty hunter and got more lucrative jobs that took him farther away for longer. He visited home less and less until he eventually stopped going altogether. And now he couldn't even remember the last time he'd seen his little family. Hell, if he really thought about it, he could barely even remember what they looked like. Was Faith's hair black or brown? Which arm did Devlin have the enhancements on? All the details had slowly blurred together in his memories and he hadn't even noticed.

Well, until those memories came waltzing back into his life. And by the gods, more time had passed than he thought.

~

"Albus, someone has a job for you." The bartender he'd come to vaguely know popped his head into the private room he'd come to occupy. Albus lifted his head from where it'd been resting against the wall to fix the bartender with a look in his slightly drunken stupor. What was his name again? Ah, who cares, he wouldn't remember it anyway. "And? They can post it with the bounty hunters like everyone else." "That's the thing, she asked for you specifically." "Is that so? Who is it?" "She didn't give me her name. Said she was your daughter."

That knocked the alcohol right out of him. Daughter? Him? No, that was impossible. He made sure of that. Well, when he was sober he made sure. Which, frankly, wasn't a lot. Fuck.

What the hell was he supposed to do? The kid had spent gods know how long looking for him and now what? Hell, he couldn't even say which woman gave birth to the girl. Or if he wanted to know.

Gods above, is this what Dad was like?

He violently shook the thought away. No. No no no. He would not become his father. Abso-fucking-lutely not. "Alright, let's see her." The bartender shrugged and left, his voice fading as he called for the girl. Albus sat up properly, unwilling to admit his heart was beating worryingly fast. Doc would probably say he was having a heart attack.

Huh, Doc. Wonder what happened to him. Mafia, probably.

When the door opened again, a woman stepped in. Like, a fully grown woman. She looked in her 50s. And definitely not young enough to be his kid. At least, not as of recently. But she somehow looked...familiar. Were those his features he saw in her or was that his imagination? His brows furrowed, could he even remember anyone that far back?

The woman smiled, showing off the gap in her teeth. A very familiar gap in her teeth. "Hi Mr. Albus. Seems you haven't changed a bit."

That voice...

"Kerano." He breathed as recognition slammed through him. "Fucking hell kid, how did you find me?" Kerano just laughed, settling into the chair across from him and letting him get a good look at her. He could see bits of that little girl he left behind; the freckles, the wide smile, the eyes shining with mischief. But he could also see the years that had disappeared; lines starting to crease around her mouth, silver threading between the normal brown, the sag to her posture as years of growing up weighed down on her. "Man, I haven't been called "kid" in decades. Though I suppose everyone is a kid to someone who lives forever." She shrugged. Albus scrubbed his hand over his face. "You didn't answer my question. How did you find me? And why?" "Okay, the how is the fun part. The why is the not so fun part. Which do you wanna hear first?" She giggled and for a second, he was back in New Tennessee watching Faith chase her around the ship. But then he blinked and the second passed, his heart sinking with it. "Well it's me so I guess the fun part." "Good, I was hoping you'd say that."

Kerano sat back in her chair, a smug smile creeping across her face. "So, I needed to come find you for reasons I will explain later. But you haven't been back home in over 30 years, no one knows where you are, and any of the ones who could are old or dead. So I was on my own and had to follow the trail of breadcrumbs. Starting in Maya. And honestly, I expected this to be a lot harder than it was but all it took was a couple pointed questions to the receptionist at the Hunters Guild and I was on my way. The hardest part was actually finding you once I got here."

"And you wanna tell me why the bartender said you were going around telling people you were my kid?" Kerano's smile widened at that, holding back a laugh. "What? It was the fastest way to get people to listen to me. You're a very mysterious person, Mr. York. People will take any advantage they can to get to know something about you." "Even if it's a complete fucking lie?" "Like you've ever had a problem with lying to get what you want." "...Fair enough. Shit, you really could be my kid. But now tell me why." She chuckled, her smile slowly fading. "That's the hard part. Um..." She chewed the inside of her cheek, squirming in her chair a little. "Big sister, she's...she's really sick. I mean, she hasn't been the same since she got the dementia diagnosis but now it's gotten really bad. She's-" Kerano's voice wavered, forcing herself to swallow the lump in her throat. "She's dying, Albus. The doctor says she won't make it to spring."

The words hit like a ton of bricks. Faith? Dying? No, that wasn't possible. Not his bright, spirited, fire-blooded Faith. No no no, she was far too alive to die. Not her. Anyone but her.

"Dementia? What-what is that? Can it be fixed?" Kerano snorted softly. "Right, forgot, you wouldn't know what it is. Dementia is a brain disease. It slowly attacks your brain functions until you can't do anything yourself. Eventually, it reaches the brain's ability to regulate heartbeat and breathing and that's what kills. There is no cure for it. The most notable symptom of dementia is memory loss. Of which she is dealing with in spades." Kerano traced the grain of the wood in the table, refusing to make eye contact. "It started a few years ago, she started forgetting prayers she'd known since she was little. I didn't think too much of it, I mean for gods sake she was almost 70 of course she's going to start forgetting things. But then it started getting worse. Forgetting appointments, directions to places she'd been a hundred times, stories she'd told me dozens of times. And now it's...it's really bad. Her moments of clarity are getting further and further apart. Hell, she barely remembers me half the time. And it's really hard, especially after we lost Devlin 'cause now I'm the only one who can take care of her and she gets pretty feisty when she has one of her episodes and it's just-" Kerano dropped her head into her hands, sniffling softly.

Albus was left completely frozen, watching as Kerano choked back sobs and tried to pull herself together. So much had changed after he'd left and he hadn't even realized. Faith was sick, she was losing her memory, Kerano had to take care of her after...

After...

Holy shit.

Devlin is gone?

When did that happen? How had he fallen so out of touch with the family he loved that he wasn't even told when the brother he'd come to love so deeply had died? He couldn't process this correctly. It felt like his brain was shutting down. How long had Faith been alone? How long had it just been her and Kerano in that house? How long had she needed him and he wasn't there because he'd forgotten her?

How long had he forgotten about her?

Albus was pulled out of his thoughts by Kerano's head snapping up, watching as she swiped at the lingering tears staining her face before clearing her throat. "Anyway, not what I came here for! I came for a job, not to make you my therapist." She laughed wetly. Albus just blinked at her, remembering that this little reunion wasn't just to rip his heart out. "It's not a job in your typical sense. I'm not asking you to hunt someone down. It's actually more of a request. Faith doesn't spend a lot of time in reality and when she isn't, she's in the memories she still has. And most of them are with you and Devlin on that ship back in New Tennessee. And she...she asks for you. And every time I say you're not there, she gets so sad and worried. She'll ask where you are and if you're okay and...I can't keep doing it. I can't keep breaking her heart. So my job for you, come home. Come home and see her before she dies with a broken heart."

Not his typical job indeed. His reason for fighting was dying and all she wanted was him to come back. But could he? Kerano said it'd been over 30 years, he'd missed his own brother's death, how could he possibly go back? How could he ever deserve to stand by Faith's side again after all the years he'd left her behind? The silent guilt that he'd shoved down for years began to crawl up his throat once again, threatening to cut off his air and choke him with his own misery.

"Kerano I...I can't. I've been gone for so long, I couldn't possibly go back." I don't deserve it. I don't deserve her. I never did. I never will.

Kerano frowned at Albus, folding her arms like the stubborn child he remembered her to be. "So you'd rather stay here? You'd rather stay here and continue to be a stranger to everyone rather than return to the woman who actually knows you?" "She doesn't know me, no one does." "Cut the self-deprecating bullshit Albus. Even if she doesn't know all of your broken blackened emo heart, she knows part of you. She knows the part of you that died to protect her and her mission. She knows the part of you that was human. And that's more than most people here know."

He hated how she was right. He hated how she reminded him of that weak, pathetic voice in the back of his head that mourned his humanity. It'd been there for so long that he'd learned to let it blend in with the rest of his thoughts. So long as he never acknowledged it, it would never be loud enough to remind him of everything he'd lost.

He hated how much she reminded him of Faith. He could see so much of her in Kerano, in particular her annoyingly persistent stubborn streak and her uncanny ability to cut right to the center of all the emotions he told himself he didn't feel. He hated the desperate part of him that wished she was her, wished it was her sharp eyes and pouting lips that were scolding him like she used to. He hated how much he missed her. He didn't deserve to miss her, not after he'd been the one to leave in the first place. Besides, that soft spot was going to get him killed one of these days. Maybe he really shouldn't go back, maybe it would let that lingering weakness in him finally die.

Maybe then he'd finally be free.

His blood ran cold at the thought. How could he possibly think that? This was different, this was Faith. This was his Faith. She was his oath and like hell he was going to forsake his honor for some perceived weakness

Kerano's hard stare bore into him, her disapproving frown looking sorely familiar. "Albus, she needs you right now. We need you right now. And if you ever actually loved-"

"Don't you dare fucking finish that sentence."

Her eyes widened, shrinking back against the sudden demonic energy pouring off of him. Albus tried to reign his temper back in, willing himself to have his voice not come out in a growl.

"I loved that woman more than anything. I still love her with everything I am. Don't you ever even imply doubt in that again. You don't understand everything I've done to protect her. To protect you. And it would take an eternity to try and explain it."

He sat back in his chair, fixing her with a glare of his own. How dare she try and accuse Albus of never actually loving her. How dare she try and say that the only woman who had ever truly meant anything to him was just another notch in his bedpost. That was his Faithful. His beautiful, caring, frustratingly loyal when he was the last person who deserved it Faithful. "I'll go. I'll see her. But I can't be the man she remembers from back then." Kerano sighed, her anger deflating. "I don't need you to be. I just need you. That's good enough for me."

Kerano stood from her chair, offering him a weak smile. "I'll tell her to expect you. She'll be ecstatic. You know where to find us, we've never left." He gave a stiff nod and she left, seeming to take all of his energy with her. He dropped his head onto the table with a dull thud, groaning softly. That was exhausting. Are reunions supposed to be that tiring? I suppose I wouldn't know, not like I've got a chance to have many of them.

He forced himself back upright and called for the bartender. He was going to need so much more alcohol.

~ Albus couldn't tell if he was seeing double from the relentless hangover he was dealing with (he really shouldn't have had that last round before he came here, everything was spinning) or if because he was really back here. Back at this place he'd called home for so long. Back with these people he'd called family for so long. His stomach twisted and this time he knew it wasn't from the alcohol.

Could he really do this? Just waltz back into this home like there weren't decades worth of dust on his place in it and just insert himself back into the quiet lives of the people who had grown to fill his spot? No one had seen him yet, he could still just turn around and act like nothing happened, like he'd never even been there. No one would notice, he could act like that whole conversation with Kerano had never happened and forget it all. He could let Faith go peacefully without ever bringing his chaos and bloodshed back into the fragile peace she'd built without him.

But then she'd die without him ever getting to say goodbye. She'd die scared and alone, thinking that the only person she could still remember had left her behind. She would die thinking he didn't love her enough to stay. And he just couldn't have that. Kerano couldn't let Faith die with a broken heart and now Albus couldn't either. He couldn't bear the thought of it.

"You gonna continue to just stand there and stare or are you actually gonna come in?"

The teasing voice snapped Albus out of his contemplation, forcing him to look up at Kerano. She was stood on the porch, mild amusement written on her face. "How long have you been standing there?" "Long enough to watch you have an entire crisis before inevitably deciding I was right because of course you did cause I know I'm right." "...y'know if I didn't know any better I really would suspect that you're my daughter." "I'll take that as a compliment. Now come on, she's inside."

Albus walked through the front door and almost thought he was in the wrong place. Gone was the life and liveliness that he was used to. There were no sounds of talking or laughing or smells of something cooking. There was nothing but silence and the staunch smell of disinfectant. "What happened to this place?" His voice came out an involuntary whisper. Kerano snorted softly as she closed the door behind them. "Death and disease. Big sister was crushed after we lost Devlin and she was getting older so she couldn't keep up with the housework like she used to. So things got simplified. Really simplified. I know she hates it, she always has, but there's nothing we can do about it. When she has her moments of clarity she complains about how plain the house looks. I mean, coming from the woman who was always covered in ten pounds of jewelry whenever she had the chance, I suppose you wouldn't consider that to mean a lot but even I get it." She ran her hand over the wall, rubbing the dust between her fingers. "This house is nothing but a shell of itself, of everything it used to be, especially to the people who lived in it." She glanced at Albus during that last sentence but moved on before he could say anything.

"Come on, she should be in her room." He followed along silently, taking in the last remaining bits of life along the way. There were still some pictures on the wall, mostly of Kerano as she was growing up but there were a few of Faith and Devlin as they got older. It was strange, seeing the people that in his memory were so young and vibrant and had their whole lives ahead of them as so old and lived. They'd been through so much together and he'd missed it. What kind of stories would they tell if they had the chance? If he had found the time, would he have listened? He'd taken advantage of his eternity so much he'd forgotten that not everyone got to live it.

Kerano came to a halt in front of a door, knocking softly. "Big sister? Someone's come to see you." There was no answer and Kerano sighed. "She always does this." She muttered with a shake of her head before turning to Albus. "Go on, she doesn't want me. She wants you." She stepped back and gestured for him to open the door.

This was it. The point of no return. He could open the door and shatter the reality he so fondly remembered and replace it with the stark reality that he was about to lose the woman who held his heart in her trusting hands for half a century, who would take that heart with her when she left or he could turn around and run and never have to face his failures, never face the fact that he had left her when he promised he would always protect her but that would mean living with the fact that he willingly left her.

Dammit. How do you always end up making me do the things I don't want to Faith? Do you take joy in forcing me to make life-altering decisions?

He opened the door before he could talk himself in circles again, bracing himself for whatever was beyond it. He wasn't sure he braced hard enough.

Sitting in an old rocking chair staring out the window was Faith. Or at least, what was left of her. She was still dressed in her sister paladin best but her strictness was starting to slip, pieces of silver hair untucked from beneath her headscarf to frame her face, looser fabrics taking over the usual tighter ones that had given her more shape. She hadn't seemed to notice the door opening, probably assuming it was Kerano.

"Faithful?" He attempted softly. Her head snapped to look at him, eyes wide in surprise. "Albus?" Her voice was weaker, scratchy and weathered from age. "You're really back?" She reached out for him, hesitating like he might just be an illusion or a trick her mind was playing on her. He kneeled next to her, taking her hand in his and bringing it up to hold his face. "I'm back, faithful. I'm back."

Her eyes sparkled with tears, sniffling softly as she brought her other hand to hold his face properly. He could feel the bones of her fingers through her thinned skin, see the deep lines in her face and the silver that threatened to completely take over the brown in her hair. He could feel his heart thump painfully in his chest, she was so...different. She was older, yes, but she was different. His Faith was bright and fierce, taking life by the horns because no one else would. This Faith, one so subdued and broken down by time and circumstance was so foreign to him. "Oh Faith...what happened to you?" He whispered, cupping one of her hands with his own.

She laughed quietly, smiling in that way she always used to when she thought he was being ridiculous. "Oh Albus, my Albus..." She even said his name the same way, with that quiet fondness that she used to be so embarrassed to admit was there. She was so different but at the same time, exactly the same. Her eyes held that same fire that they used to, determined to take the world by storm and correct everything she saw wrong with it no matter what it took. But her body could no longer keep up with her soul's desire to do right by the gods she had so treasured. "Where have you been all these years?" She asked, her thumb stroking over where his beard melted into the rest of his face. He sighed, leaning into her touch and laying a light kiss to her palm. "Don't you worry about that. I'm here now and that's what's important. I'm here for you." "Why? Why come back? I...I thought you were gone. I thought I lost both of you." Her voice tapered off into a whisper, unable to meet his eyes.

It nearly knocked the wind out of him. It was one thing for him to recognize that he'd been gone for too long, it was entirely another to know that Faith knew it too. That she thought she was alone. He never should've let it get this bad. "I know, I'm so sorry faithful. I'm so sorry I couldn't be there for you. I was just...I was scared. Scared that you wouldn't want me back after so long. Scared that you had moved on from me." She clicked her tongue, frowning at him like she was about to reprimand him like she used to. Honestly, he wished she would. "I could never move on from you. You've carried my heart with you every time you've walked out that door and that last time was no different. I just wish you'd told me beforehand how long it would be until I got it back, I would've prepared better." She giggled before pinching his cheek with a surprising strength, her nose scrunching. "Never do that to me again, you hear? Had me here mourning you while you were still out there alive and well and having no reason to give me such anxiety."

Albus burst into laughter, trying to pull away from the iron grip she had on his skin. "Ow, ow, ow okay I get it I already said I'm sorry! Gods above you've gotten stronger since I left." "It's a grandmotherly perk. Once you get above 70, your pinching strength increases tenfold to discipline rowdy grandchildren. Though you wouldn't know anything about that, would you mister immortal?" "Shit, yes I understand can you let go of my face before you rip a piece of it off?" "Hm, you better." She huffed as she let go of him, leaving him to rub the now sore spot. "Y'know, you've had Kerano worried sick about how you weren't like you used to be but you seem just fine to me." "Hey, don't you bring me into this. This is for you to atone for your crimes of leaving us with no one but each other for 15 years." Kerano snorted, leaning against the doorframe with a smug smile as she watched the interaction. Faith turned to Kerano with a sad smile, leaning back in her rocking chair. "Oh give the girl a break Albus, she's dealt with a lot with me being...out of sorts." "Oh is that the word we're using? Big sister, you know I love you, you tried to throw me out the window." "I thought you were an illusion!" "Doesn't make it any less terrifying! You ever almost get literally shoved out a window by an old woman with a strength you didn't even realize she had?" The two glared at each other for a few moments before both burst into giggles.

Albus rolled his eyes at the display. "I will give no such breaks, the girl went around saying she was my daughter in order to find me." "You did what?" Faith suddenly whipped her head to look between Albus and Kerano. "You're not being serious, are you? Tell me he's not being serious!" "...sorry big sister." "Kerano! What in the hell would possess you to do such a thing?" "You couldn't see it sister! You were so...hollow. You kept asking for him and well...with your prognosis, I couldn't just sit back and do nothing! So I went and found him! It was just a little harder than I thought it was going to be so I found a way! And hey, it worked, didn't it? He's here and you're lucid and everything's the way it used to be. Can you blame me for simply wanting to fulfill a dying woman's wish?" "I thought I told you to stop talking like that." Faith huffed, turning her pointed glare to Kerano. "But you are-" "And I know that Kerano. But I don't need to be reminded of it. I'm still alive and I intend on remaining that way for as long as possible. So do not call me dying until I lay on my deathbed, you understand me?" "Yep, that's Faith." Albus muttered with a soft smile, earning a sarcastic stare from her.

Faith just sighed, running her hand through Albus's hair with a slight smile. "Won't you stay? At least for a little while? I...I don't want to risk forgetting about you." "Of course faithful. I'm not going anywhere, not until you tell me to go." Not until I see that fire leave you. Not until my faithful is really gone. Not until I actually have to say goodbye to you.

Faith stared into his eyes and he could see every moment between them, their entire history laid out in the color of her eyes. He feared the day he'd see blank spots in that history. That day when she'd forget he loved her with his entire being. That he'd fought against armies and demons to return to her side. That he'd given up his life for her once and he'd do it again in a heartbeat if she simply asked. He leaned up and kissed her softly, like she would break if he pressed any harder. She pushed back like she was trying to send a message. He hoped she could read his own.

I'll love you for eternity Faith.

I've loved you for my eternity Albus.

He stepped back, running his thumb over her cheek one final time before heading towards the door. "I'll check in on you tomorrow, don't go anywhere." "Not like I could if I wanted to." She laughed as Albus closed the door behind him, leaving just him and Kerano in the hallway again. She looked on the verge of tears and he was about to ask what was wrong when she threw herself into his arms, squeezing him tight. "Thank you. Thank you for bringing her back." She whispered into his chest. He slowly hugged her back, letting her cry out her relief into his shirt. "Thank you for letting me bring her back." He responded, petting her hair.

She pulled back after a couple minutes, wiping her eyes. "I'll go get a room ready for you, sounds like you'll be here for a while." She headed down the hall into a separate room, leaving Albus with his thoughts once again. He wished that would stop happening, his thoughts were getting quite headache-inducing recently.

He still couldn't entirely believe that he was here, that he'd seen Faith again and had gotten the chance to love her again. To love her like she deserved until her mind finally left her.

I've got so much lost time to make up for. There's so much I've missed, so much I have to learn about you, Faithful. But maybe I can start to work for your forgiveness. I just hope I'm not too late to earn it.

I'll stay by your side until the end, I promise. I'll be your warrior again if that's what you need me to be.

I'm yours Faith. Always yours.

Until the next sunrise

Oops, wrong universe, sorry-

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[hellogoodbyeitsme]

Damian, still fresh to the family, but actually starting to warm up to the idea of them actually being his family, looks up online 'how to be a good little brother.'

He finds all sorts of things like, "using cuteness to get what you want from your elder siblings" (lame, no way that works) "fake extra tears when they punch you so your parents buy you icecream and whatever else you want" (why on EARTH would he want anyone think he could be so weak?) etc, but he also sees stuff about Pranks, sibling fights (in the sense of "you know they're real siblings because they'll throw hands one minute, then 5 minutes later be laughing watching tv together like nothing happened"), and concepts like Sibling Code (like, absolute secrecy between siblings toward their parents, threatening potential heartbreakers, etc).

Cue him pulling pranks, like leaving lego everywhere and waiting for his shoeless family to step on them, hiding things that the others need (like, right now), sneaking things into the batcave that shouldn't be in the batcave, throwing himself at his siblings to brawl without any reason and then promptly stopping also with no reason (and wondering why they won't spend time with him to bond afterward), planning out how to threaten a literal magic space princess (Kori, who would probably find it very cute if he actually made it that far), hiding Literally Very Important information about his siblings from Bruce and Alfred because he's not a snitch, and he is a great little brother. (he's going to get an A in Little Brother which is something totally normal to want and achieve)

He eventually gets BIG scolded for his constant misbehaviour, though. Bruce and Dick are asking why he's going off the rails so much when he doesn't even seem particularly angry anymore - in fact, sometimes he even seems fairly content! Is there an issue they're unaware of? Something he's not expressing to the family? They're not mad if there's a problem, they just want to help!

So, of course, he then has to embarrassingly explain that he was just following little brother protocol, according to.. the internet. He gets bullied about it for weeks by his elders (to different degrees), since the internet is not going to help anyone be a better sibling, but they also each try to explain (in their own ways) (their own waynes) why he was so, so very wrong about the way he approached being a good sibling, so he can hopefully improve at it (and stop terrorising the household).

(I saw a meme post about Damian putting legos all over the floor + hiding Tim's shoes to harm him and it made me think of the concept)

(Also once he learns that acting extra cute really can get him what he wants, he tries to use it now and then to his advantage, but is hilariously bad at doing it, since he doesn't really have a grasp on what makes a younger sibling cute (which is.... literally just existing,, according to me, a middle child). Lucky for him the others eat up every attempt because it's so obvious what he's doing that it becomes cute to them, so he doesn't need to get real practice with it until he tries to use it on a non-bat who laughs at him for far too long about it and thusly brews fire in him to go back to the pranks he tried at the start of the little brother training montage and show them real sibling pain for making a fool of him.)

[farthertothemoon]

I'm studying to be an environmental scientist in the wildlife conservation field and that means being outside a lot around animals and plants which means being exposed to a lotta allergens, right?

Imagine an environmental ecologist/biologist/scientist/conservationist who does a lot of field work with their partner (in this case, starting off as a friend/coworker).

Person A, the scientist, is allergic to just about everything in the field. This means every work day, without fail, they'll be a sniffly, sneezy mess within 30 minutes max of their "shift." Stopping to bend over and let out itchy and wet fits every few minutes is very common for them. Person B, their partner has gotten quite used to this over time, finds it amusing, possibly even endearing. Person A often decides not to take their meds due to high strength causing fogginess and drowsiness. However, they also often forget to bring tissues.

Over time, as their relationship has evolved to be closer and closer, B has recognized A's near constant lack of tissues despite the drippy, itchy mess they become nearly every day at work. So in all their glory as a friend, they start bringing packets of tissues to work everyday. Everytime B notices A getting teary eyed, sniffly, or hitchy, they shove a tissue (or five) into their hands. A gratefully takes them and lets out irritated sneeze after sneeze into them, all while B just stands there smirking.

As the two partners get closer and closer, and B ends up rubbing A's back through their messy fits and helping them clean themselves up after each one. It's become a habit of A's to "forget" their tissues on purpose at this point.

[magentagalaxies]

me a few weeks ago: "i should make a google docs version of my buddy cole timeline so i can have it on hand when i interview people for the doc"

a few weeks later

i have a 54-page google doc with each point on my buddy cole timeline in chronological order as well as thorough details of each event and how it contributed to the overall evolution of buddy cole, baseline interview questions for each point, screenshots of interviews and reviews for each project buddy cole appeared in over the past several decades, and dedicated pages for several of the queer writers and performers scott referenced in interviews over the years, along with a list of every time buddy cole swears on camera. i am printing this document out and putting it into a binder that's never leaving my side throughout the rest of production. the binder has its own theme song

[tittyinfinity]

when you're disabled, being financially abused by your parents never ends

[gender-euphowrya]

you could never pay me enough to go back to iphones i've been given way too much freedom to customize shit on android

[heyitslapis]

I dont think yall know just how fucking much i have to reserve myself when i text them

[garvalhaminho]

y'all'll never 🙅‍♀️ understand "the prophecy" by ts the way i, an aspec person, do 😔😔

[linoguy]

for so many reasons, xdh could never be fugazi but everyday i see ode's potential as the guy in the blue shirt who's just dancing and flinging himself around and screaming into the mic when he wants.. let my boy free from the shackles of a fuckass keyboard and let him dance

[aethersea]

hi yes hello I would like to install on my phone the world's dumbest autocorrect please, I want it to do all the corrections I tell it to and nothing else

[vyibunni]

imagine a man. now imagine he really loves writing emails. this is him

[samuraisharkie]

Going on record to say I can’t stand scoutandcompany *bracing for impact*

[shadow-pixelle]

grumbles in things going wrong mid sentence and so the entire fic just wants to die

This is so mean. I didn't ask for my laptop's keyboard to randomly stop working for a while, damnit...

[ironmanstan]

free. in my zone. living my life. zooming

[waywardworldhopper]

I... don't know how I feel about this statement. I mean, the statement itself is well written, and I like how they gently go "hey if you want to do activism there are better options than harassing some internet comedians."

But just... validating the complaints with this kind of response seems dangerous, especially given Dropout clearly recognizes they're tenuous at best. Like, I'm all for them taking an explicit stance on Palestinian liberation and directing fans to charities, but it feels like giving these accusations the time of day is encouraging more harassment.

🍉🍉🍉

Additional resources to support the people of Palestine:

Demand a Ceasefire in Gaza

Palestine Children’s Relief Fund

UNRWA

UNICEF

Gaza eSims