#who is here for some reason

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #290: The World According to the ADAPTOID!

April, 1988

DAY of the ADAPTOID!

OH NO THE ADAPTOID IS PUTTING EVERYONE INTO TIMEOUT CUBES!

Oh, hi, Cap!

So. How did we get here?

Last time on Avengers: During the Avengers Under Siege arc, the Super-Adaptoid got free from the stasis tube he was being stored in at Avengers Mansion, switched places with the Fixer, and has been running rings around the Avengers. He gathered a small group of like-minded robots and had them smash shit at the Avengers’ new Hydrobase headquarters while he himself summoned the living cosmic cube Kubik from SPACE. The Super-Adaptoid super-adapted Kubik’s reality altering powers and now he controls everything I guess.

Good game, Avengers. Fell apart a little at the end but overall solid run.

No, no.

I’m sure they’ll somehow prevail, possibly with the help of Cap(tain) because he wasn’t in previous issues.

Can I just say I don’t love that design for Kubik? Or the Adaptoid for that matter?

Looks like a budget transformer. And also the way the plot has gone with the Adaptoid scheming his way to adapting reality warping, we didn’t really get him becoming a mashup version of this team of Avengers which is also a disappointment.

I don’t want to start on too negative a note but I’m already on guard due to this being the Monica Rambeau character assassination era in Avengers.

So, let’s get into it! Yeah!

So on the opening splash page, the Avengers burst in to find two weirdo looking robot dudes (Kubik and the Super-Duper-Adaptoid) and after everyone pauses in place long enough for a two-page spread recapping the story thus far, the Adaptoid just cubes the Avengers and also Machine Man.

Cover image came true a lot quicker than I’d have thought.

And then with the main characters of this book put in cube timeout, Kubik and the Adaptoid talk in a weird font.

The gist of the conversation is despite the Adaptoid telling Kubik to piss off, Kubik wanted to stick around and see how this was going to play out.

So the Adaptoid teleported him into the biggest black hole in the Andromeda Galaxy. Which seems an overreaction but what do I know.

The Adaptoid assumes its generic metallic faceless form and explains that its due to the sliver of Cosmic Cube AIM used to build him, that he was able to super-adapt Kubik’s powers because they’re basically chips off the same block. Or, he’s the chip off Kubik’s block.

Whatever.

The Adaptoid also declares himself the SUPREME ADAPTOID and outlines his plan to create a couple billion Adaptoids and completely replace humanity.

Good to have goals, I guess.

Machine Man decides to further recap the bits of the story that the first recap hadn’t covered. And specifies his motives were to figure out what the Adaptoid was doing and then stop him. He didn’t do a great job at that.

Captain Marvel manages to re-materialize herself now that the plot doesn’t need her discorporating in the corner. But the effort has basically wiped her. God forbid she do anything.

She has a theory that she could escape the cube prison if she could shift to visible light. Y’know, since the cubes are translucent.

But Machine Man has another idea, from a book he read. And it has to be seen.

(The idea has nothing to do with the actual process he uses. The book just spilled a lot of ink on the domino effect and Machine Man thinks that bonking floating cubes into other floating cubes is like dominoes)

He basically uses his anti-gravity generators to make the cube tumble around in midair and bonk into Namor’s cube which bonks into She-Hulk’s cube and so on and so forth until all the cubes are pushed out of the communications complex building so the Avengers can see the Supreme Adaptoid shitting out smaller Adaptoids.

“One for each man, woman, and child on this planet.”

Why are you even replacing the children? What are your adaptoids going to do? Go to school? Play stick ball?

Meanwhile, Dr Druid and Black Knight but I bet you mostly Dr Druid refuse to take a backseat to this plot.

Even though they were off-panel taken to a hospital due to injuries sustained while having their asses kicked by a robot, the two have borrowed a Quinjet from the West Coast Avengers and are returning to Hydrobase.

Dr Druid uses his MIND POWERS to render the Quinjet invisible to detection so obviously two Adaptoids crash through the windshield as soon as the Quinjet lands.

Because Dr Druid sucks.

The Adaptoids start adapting the two heroes, one sprouting a robe and the other sprouting armor and a sword.

It could get dicey quickly but Dr Druid advises Black Knight that these things aren’t human so won’t activate his super cursed sword’s super blood curse.

So Black Knight cuts them both down with his cuts anything sword. Metal ain’t much of an obstacle.

With the two attacking Adaptoids dead orrrr deactivated? Dr Druid suggests they should hurry and infiltrate Hydrobase before anyone notices the missing Adaptoids.

But suddenly Dr Druid and Black Knight are also cubes because the Supreme Adaptoid definitely noticed losing two of his “children.”

The upside to this though is that it demonstrates that She-Hulk is the funniest damn person on the team.

So at least their morale isn’t all bad.

Black Knight decides to use his cut-anything sword to cut out of cube hell but while his cut-anything sword can cut through the cube, the cube reseals almost immediately after so its not a solution.

(Also, they’re floating near the Supreme Adaptoid and he can re-cube them with a thought so... at best its part 1 of a longer plan.)

Black Knight: “Uhh, so much for my bright ideas. Captain Marvel, you lead this intrepid group. What’s the plan, chief?”

Captain Marvel: “I-i just don’t have anything promising to say. Maybe when my strength returns...”

Black Knight, sadly: “Oh.”

Monica Rambeau character assassination power hour, remember?

She’s not even allowed to be a little useful.

As she points out, the Supreme Adaptoid has the reality altering power of the Cosmic Cube. Usually you beat a Cosmic Cube user by taking the cube from them. But the power is inherent to the Supreme Adaptoid and he’s double telepathic so can’t be surprised.

Meanwhile, Kubik just pops out of the black hole that the Adaptoid dunked him into. Because, yeah, he can reality alter too and has more experience with it.

Kubik: “Doubtless the Adaptoid believed I would be a bewildered child within the singularity... but I have wandered the Schwarzchild radius before and was not lost or baffled. And so Kubik returns to Earth.”

But instead of returning to where the Supreme Adaptoid is, Kubik does not do that. As the Adaptoid pointed out, two beings like them going at it could destroy all of existence and Kubik likes looking at existence. Its interesting.

So he needs to think of a non-direct way to thwart the Supreme Adaptoid.

Thankfully, he decides to go look to Our Lord And Savior Best Man In All Of Existence the Captain America.

To be less sassy about it, the Captain America has experience with Cosmic Cubes, Adaptoids, and who has “a spirit of most uncommon valor.”

So, the Captain America has been out of the book a bit. I don’t know why he never contacted the Avengers to touch base but basically the government told him to get in line or turn over all the stuff that’s (C) the US government. The shield and the costume and the Captain America name.

The Captain America told them to take the job and shove it and got a new shield and a new darker costume that’s primarily black instead of blue. Instead of going by Nomad again, he just dropped America off the name and is going by the Captain instead.

Huh. Which makes the Captain in Nextwave a recycled name. Which is funny since his thing is that there weren’t any good Captain ____ names anymore.

Also, he’s got some red and white shapes in a vague flag pattern but instead of the star field he’s got a black star-shaped hole. I think the visual symbolism is that the heart has gone out of America or something. Let it never be said that Steve Rogers can’t be a little dramatic.

Anyway. You can see the Captain’s costume on the cover where everyone is in cubes.

Kubik pops into existence on the road where the Captain is motorcycling and tells him “This universe has great need of you!”

He also has to reintroduce himself since the Captain only knew him as a cube.

The Captain goes ‘heck I may be on a leave of absence but if the Avengers need me, I’m there’ and Kubik goes ‘okay, you’re there’ and teleports the Captain right behind the Supreme Adaptoid.

Okay, okay. The Captain asks Kubik to send him there. Kubik warned that the Supreme Adaptoid would just put the Captain in cube jail too. And the Captain went ‘nuh uh, I have a plan or at least a concept.’

The concept being that the Adaptoid was created by AIM to defeat Captain America so he probably has a chip on its shoulder about the Captain.

So Kubik teleported him to Hydrobase but at least erased his memory of the interaction so the Supreme Adaptoid wouldn’t know Kubik was involved in things again.

Also, yes, the Supreme Adaptoid immediately puts the Captain in cube jail.

Although he is a little confused how the Captain got so close without being sensed. But whatever.

The Captain decides to challenge the reality-altering machine god to a one-on-one fisticuffs c’mon be a man.

Supreme Adaptoid: “Why should I accept such a challenge when my merest shrug would erase you from existence as if you had never been?”

The Captain: “You’ll face me because it’s your destiny to face me! Your creators gave you a mission -- to utterly defeat me! It is a mission -- a programming -- you have never successfully carried out!”

Supreme Adaptoid: “That is true. But I am the Supreme Adaptoid now -- I have transcended all programming. My destiny is my own -- subject to my will and my will alone! I AM THE COSMIC CUBE INCARNATE!”

The Captain: “Maybe so, but how do you know even this grand scheme wasn’t an unknown part of your programming? How do you know A.I.M. didn’t intend there to be a synthesis of its two greatest creations? Could be you’re not as independent as you think, fella!”

The Supreme Adaptoid decides Cap(tain) is just trying to make him doubt himself but he DOES let Cap(tain) out of cube jail and tells one of the baby Adaptoids to defeat him.

So, ha ha, psychology worked!

Also, being let out of cube jail apparently makes a POOT! sound effect.

I’m immature enough to highlight and laugh at that.

The Captain engages in fisticuffs with the Baby Adaptoid as it starts adapting his fighting skills and new aesthetic.

While he plays the sweet chin music on the shapeshifting robot he thinks about how dangerous it is that the Super-Adaptoid has Cosmic Cube power. Because usually you need to exploit the character flaws of whoever is using the cube. But being an artificial being with absolutely no character flaws probably, that won’t work on the Supreme Adaptoid.

But also: FIGHTING HEART! SPIRIT! HUMAN STUFF! THAT’S WHY THE CAPTAIN WILL PREVAIL OVER AN ADAPTOID COPY OF HIMSELF!

Whether America or not, Steve Rogers loves giving speeches while punching things.

Also, while the Captain is fighting the Captain-Adaptoid, the other Avengers are just chilling in their cubes spectating the fight.

It looks very funny.

The fight gives Dr Druid an idea and he floats his cube over to the Supreme Adaptoid. Captain Marvel yells at him not to do anything foolish but Black Knight points out that anything is worth a try. How could things get worse?

Dr Druid claims that he wants to help the Supreme Adaptoid.

Supreme Adaptoid: “Help me!? I am all-powerful -- not a boast, a fact. I require no assistance. And I sense this is merely a ploy to try and defeat me.”

Dr Druid: “If it is impossible to defeat you, what harm can there be in listening?”

Supreme Adaptoid: “Speak briefly then.”

This guy sure can be baited.

Dr Druid argues that there is a way for the Supreme Adaptoid to prove that what he’s doing is free will and not A.I.M. programming. And that is to answer the question of: what then?

After the Supreme Adaptoid replaces all of humanity with Adaptoids, what then?

Well, he’ll rule them.

Okay and ruling means dictating what they’ll be doing. What are five billion Adaptoids going to be doing?

Uhhh.... the Supreme Adaptoid hasn’t thought that far ahead.

Dr Druid: “Exactly... because you lack one essential... imagination. All you are capable of is the imitation of that which already is... Adaptoid. Once you have eliminated all there is to imitate, you will simply have nothing to do.”

Further, Dr Druid says that Adaptoids not only don’t have imagination, they have no ability to even copy imagination.

So, wait. The Supreme Adaptoid thought up the whole plan to gather Heavy Metal to distract the Avengers, use their files to track down the Cosmic Cube and summon it to Earth, so he could adapt its power and become ALL-POWERFUL. And that is a plan that is specifically Adaptoid based so he couldn’t have just stolen it from the Fixer.

So does he have imagination or not?

I guess not because the Supreme Adaptoid tries to create something from nothing and just makes a generic Adaptoid.

But as he gets angry, knocks away the Dr Druid cube, he has a pissy tantrum where he repeats the very argument I made.

Supreme Adaptoid: “Of what purpose is such a parlor game? I have conceived and executed a scheme that has brought me to the threshold of universal domination. And if that is not creativity -- if that is not imagination -- what is? Away with you, doctor, you words of ‘wisdom’ fall on deaf ears!”

I mean. Good point. Is coming up with that plan he came up with not imagination or creativity? Guess not.

Anyway, while he was distracted having a philosophical debate with Dr “Debate Me!” Druid, the Captain beat his Adaptoid counterpart.

And the Captain does what the Captain does best and makes a speech that you can’t break the human spirit and so on. Not even if the Supreme Adaptoid turns reality into a pretzel!

Sufficiently baited, the Supreme Adaptoid drags himself down to the Captain’s level, takes on his form and skills and starts kicking the shit out of him.

Supreme Adaptoid: “I’ll now put the lie to your ludicrous speeches of ‘indomitable will power’ and the ‘human heart!’ Nonsense! What matters are the quantifiable attributes! Strength -- speed -- agility -- combat knowledge! I’ve taken those qualities from you! They reside in a body not fatigued by extreme exertion. Thus, I am your measurable superior! And not all of your vaunted valor or spirit means a whit! I will win!”

The Captain: “You can’t see, can you? It’s the spirit that fires the flesh... the spark that ignites at those moments when a man is most alive!”

Supreme Adaptoid: “Lies! I am the cube incarnate! I am all --”

The Captain: “You are nothing! To know of life you must know of death! Life’s brevity makes it precious beyond understanding! Our species lives with the knowledge that our loved ones will die -- that we ourselves will one day be dust. But we go on! That is courage! That is spirit! But because death is a stranger to you, life will be an endless sameness... an eternal nothing of acquisition to no purpose. There is no end for you... and I pity you for that. And all this horror -- all this waste because you, Supreme Adaptoid, cannot die.”

And so, to own the Captain, the Supreme Adaptoid adapts the ability to die and drops dead.

That is exactly how this plot resolves.

The Captain talks the monster to death.

But if anyone could do it, it was going to be Speechifyin’ Steve Rogers.

All the Avengers who did jack and shit in this entire issue are freed from cube jail by Kubik.

Kubik praises what a cool guy Captain America is and how “truly is humanity blessed to have such as him” and adds the Avengers to that sentiment too, as an afterthought.

Kubik then removes the Cosmic Cube sliver from the defunct Super/Supreme Adaptoid. Without it, the Adaptoid should never be able to menace Earth again.

Of course, the Super Adaptoid appears two years later to fight the Fantastic Four so way to fuck up, Kubik.

Having ended the threat of the Super-Adaptoid forever, Kubik returns to space but leaves behind a moral, of sorts.

Kubik: “I leave now for the stars and my cosmic pursuits, Avengers. I leave saddened by the conclusion of a tragedy that should never have been. The tragedy of self-deception. You see before you a straw man brought down by the arrogance of absolute power... brought down by a simple, though profound, expression. In the words of your own immortal bard... ‘To thine own self be true.’”

Wasn’t that part of Polonius’ speech where the point was that Polonius was a dumbass? Like, there was good advice in the speech but Polonius was a huge dingus?

Anyway.

I have sour feelings about this story, this Supreme Adaptoid arc.

For one thing, it doesn’t play well to the Adaptoid’s strengths of adapting. There’s a good mix of powers and skills in this group of Avengers that would be fun to see them having to face all combined in one opponent.

Its a good twist when it turns out that the suddenly dangerous the Fixer is actually the Super-Adaptoid but then the rest of the plot (minus the part where he adapted Kubik’s power) could have been anyone. Hell, it could have been the Fixer with a machine that siphoned or copied the Cosmic Cube power.

I feel like it was too soon for Hydrobase to get smashed up. Avengers Mansion got smashed up not so long ago and that had some real emotion to it. It was the Avengers’ home. Hydrobase JUST got retooled into being their new headquarters and it doesn’t even look like itself.

And its hard to enjoy a story where it seems like the point is that Monica Rambeau sucks and the Avengers suck if Captain America isn’t around. It ultimately turns this issue of Avengers into Dragonball Z where we’re waiting for Goku Steve Rogers.

The Avengers flail around ineptly, the villain becomes Perfect Cell or more appropriate comparison, and then we have to wait for Captain America.

And for what? If Captain America were rejoining the team right away, this could be a strong reintroduction to the team. You often have new members or rejoins be super competent in their debut to get the readers excited about them being back.

But - and this is looking ahead a little spoilers - Steve Rogers the Captain does not rejoin the Avengers. The team is going to flail around some more, get undermined, and then disband in the next ten issues. There’s going to be some time without Avengers at all. And then the Captain will reform the team with the Worst Roster.

Was the Avengers sitting in cube jail waiting for the Captain to bail them out supposed to get us excited for that? Because there’s nearly a year between now and then.

I’m being too negative because I know what’s coming.

The book was so solid under Roger Stern. The characterization was great. And now there’s going to be some instability in the creative team for a bit until we land on John Byrne as the permanent writer.

I’ll look for the good in the upcoming issues but we’re still in the editorially mandated character assassination of Monica Rambeau so it’ll be an uphill struggle.

=|

Follow @essential-avengers​ but I can see why you’d hold off. But maybe do it anyway? Like and reblog too? Comment or reblog with your thoughts?

[roppiepop]

Typical role dustribution

[syruubi]

The Hydro Sovereign comes to Mondstadt

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

Being someone who read Under The Red Hood and came out with the firm belief that, for Jason, it's not about killing Joker, it's about Jason wanting proof Batman would choose him over the Joker (bc shelia chose the joker). Makes seeing any other media where it's all about just wanting the Joker dead is a teeny bit frustrating. to be honest

Jason could've killed the Joker himself, really, really easily. Jason kidnaps the Joker before the confrontation. I can't open my comic for a reference right now, but it felt like he had the Joker for quite a bit before the confrontation. He had him. He beat him up with a crowbar. He had every single opportunity to kill the Joker himself, but he didn't because that wasn't his goal. Make no mistake, he did plan for the Joker to be dead by the end of it, but do you see what im trying to say here

Edit: If I knew this post was gonna get 1000+ notes I would've tried to word it better or something, this was a rant I made on the way to the grocery store 😭

It's not about making Batman kill either. When Batman says he won't kill, Jason adjusts and goes, 'Let ME kill the Joker or kill me to stop me' instead. The test is all about Batman choosing him. The whole final confrontation is Jason's first death again. The parent, The Joker, and the explosives. It even ends with Jason unable to move as a bomb goes off right next to him again because the parent didn't choose Jason. And instead tried finding an option that'd benefit them and (consequencely) letting the Joker walk, again, lol, lmao <-in agony

[chatlote]

Just because you don't love yourself it doesn't mean I will stop loving you.

[theabigailthorn]

"Good" Acting

i have a theory that a lot of people say acting is "good" when they're emotionally moved by it, and a lot of cishet white people have a lifelong habit of not listening or empathising when minoritised people speak, so minority actors get called "bad" even when they display some pretty fucking amazing technical skill

[fauvester]

something something seeing things through different eyes

[vaguely-concerned]

the more I play the more I think lucanis basically knows it's illario who betrayed him right from the beginning (he's had a year in the ossuary to think. not that many people knew where he was going. when you ask him 'did Illario know you'd be on that ship' his only answer is the hardest flattest 'yes' you ever heard). so it's not so much about figuring out who the traitor is (because that's ludicrous. we all know. immediately. they didn't really bother to hide it lmao) as about methodically closing off every single avenue of denial lucanis has clung to that whole time with as much or little gentleness as you might prefer until he has no choice but to admit it. because the moment he has to admit it, he'll have to do something -- feel something -- about it. and that's such a catastrophic event in lucanis' inner landscape (he has had TWO people in this whole entire world up until now and will do anything to hold on to them with a heartbreaking child-like desperation, even at and especially through the detriment of his own self) that he'd rather just. not. what if we quite simply. didn't. what if we just stayed here in the emptiness where we can both pretend you didn't hurt me in a way I should never forgive. I have so much practice in that with caterina already it's always worked out great for everyone so far. (press x to fucking doubt but that's trauma logic for you lol)

after everything illario did, so much of the storm of lucanis' emotions around it is 'what the FUCK did you get yourself tangled up in this time and how do I get you out of this mess safely'. what's worse: the fact that your brother murdered you, or that he put himself in horrible danger doing so and thus exposed you to the risk of losing him forever. lucanis' heart certainly has an opinion here and it's fucking unhinged (affectionate)

the themes of dissociation in lucanis' character in general makes me feel nuts. allllll these contradictory messy things he needs to cut off from each other because they can't coexist or be easily reconciled inside him. but all remain stubbornly true separately anyway and will have their due one day. love and resentment. tenderness and fear and rage. terror and longing. love and freedom don't coexist. the burned out golden child anthem is playing in the background. he was always caterina's favourite and he has to keep striving to deserve that dubious honour with every breath he takes and then, presumably, mercifully, some day he will die and be excused and can rest. and until now he's suppressed all the -- natural, healthy, protective! -- negative feelings that threaten the few attachment relationships he actually has, at the cost of ever actually having his needs for connection and safety met and leaving his core self imprisoned and compromised. and spite goes 'what. no. that's dumb fuck that' (*spite voice* I do not understand that and even if I did I would not respect it) and does not allow him to fall back into that, which I think is what saves his life, ultimately. it took being possessed by a demon for lucanis to even contemplate telling anyone he loves 'no' in any way, but hey. whatever gets you there right lol

lucanis is dealing with the freeze response allll the way down baby. and he was even before the ossuary, that just turbo powered it and brought it to a breaking point way before it could happen naturally. but something was going to break eventually no matter what, and I'm just glad that in the end, through the power of friendship and also pure spite, it doesn't have to be him

[kittykalliarts]

For decades, the blank vision that Iudex Neuvillette wears near his heart has been subject to much discussion in Fontaine. Nobody remembers who it had once belonged to or why the ancient dragon protected it so jealously. It is said that if the Chief Justice would to stare at it for a long while, it would be sure to rain right after. Oh, how beloved that person must've been.

[cowardlykrow]

“Not my circus, not my monkeys”… Except those are his monkeys and they are the circus

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #293: AND FLIGHTS OF ANGELS...

July, 1988

THE FATE OF MARRINA!

Wait, hold up... the fate of Marrina tm? Flights of angels...? Isn’t that usually followed by sing thee to thy rest?

Yup. Yuuup. Marrina is going to die.

Shame. Shaaaame.

She seemed like she had potential as an Avenger. How long has it been since we had a married couple on the Avengers? ... Oh, when Vision and Scarlet Witch were on the team. Still, though!

But I might be jumping the gun.

Last times on Avengers: the Avengers are having a tough time lately. Because this is the character assassination era. Captain Marvel Monica Rambeau is a weak and ineffectual leader who wants to do things like... not kill Marrina. Dr Druid very much wants to kill Marrina as a first and only option and is actively undermining Monica and having ominous sex dreams. Marrina turned into a giant sea monster for some reason and has been sinking ships and destroying coastal settlements. Namor is sad because his wife doesn’t seem to love him anymore and also is a giant world-threatening monster.

Tough times.

You know who else is having tough times?

Atlantis.

Marrina is smashing them UP!

Which is pretty fascinating! It implies there’s still some of Marrina within her because no doubt she’d harbor some resentment for Atlantis giving her beloved husband the boot and elevating one of his worst enemies to the throne.

Maybe we can ignore the blatant foreshadowing and snap Marrina out of-

Oh.

This doesn’t imply anything. Dr Druid caused this, for some reason.

Ffs.

I’ll get to that when it’s relevant in the plot.

Meanwhile, Simonson gets to put on his Literature Hat by quoting Milton’s Paradise Lost regarding the biblical Leviathan which has little to do with Marrina except being a big aquatic troublemaker.

Namor shows up after Marrina has already gotten bored and wandered off and is distraught to see that Marrina is now killing people that he cares about.

Okay, not really.

But considering its her attack on Atlantis that makes Namor go rejoin the Avengers, it really does feel kind of like all that other damage and other death she’s caused bothered him significantly less.

Over at Hydrobase, Dr Drui psychically spies on Namor, satisfied that his manipulations have paid off.

He also swoons so that he can flashback to something that happened recently but that the audience doesn’t know about.

Very considerate!

Dr Druid: “Apparently only I have the will to save all who can be saved. I pray this will give me the strength to do what must be done!”

Fuck you Dr Druid Point 1: Dr Druid can use “controlled clairvoyance to find Leviathan Marrina so all that time the Avengers couldn’t find her fast enough to prevent damage, Druid was just holding out on them.

Dr Druid: “So, my terrible friend, let us see what we can do to convince the others that you are indeed a menace that must be dealt with properly!”

Fuck you Dr Druid Point 2: He lured Marrina to attack and destroy Atlantis by creating an illusion of a nice, juicy boat and since sea serpents are dumb, he just had the boat head down towards Atlantis.

Fuck you Dr Druid Point 1+2=3: Given that he can find Marrina with “controlled clairvoyance” and lure Marrina with illusion boats, he could have been finding and diverting her and saving lives this whole time. Granted, the effort seems to exhaust him. So maybe he couldn’t have kept it up for long. But he’s refusing to help to his fullest abilities and then criticizing Monica for not being interested in saving lives.

You, sir, Dr Druid, are the menace that must be dealt with properly.

Grump grump.

Anyway.

Dr Druid feels bad about being an evil shithead but comforts himself that he’s saving lives by luring Marrina to kill a bunch of Atlanteans and convincing Namor to rejoin the Avengers so Druid can convince the other Avengers that killing Marrina as their first option is the best and only option.

Dr Druid: “She is too dangerous to be allowed to roam the seas at will... while Captain Marvel wastes time and lives seeking vainly for some illusory cure for Marrina’s condition. But there is no time to waste in that direction. For I have had such dreams that foretell of grave danger in the near future... and Marrina could be just the beginning. Yet how could I convince my fellow Avengers of a threat heralded by dreams? Best to keep my own counsel... and deflect the Avengers from Captain Marvel’s useless endeavors...”

And he finds She-Hulk, Thor, and Captain Marvel talking to Dr Pym on the video phone.

Pym isn’t promising any miracles because the information they sent over was fragmentary. But he used his science brain and scienced up a possible cure. A shot in the dark really. A shot in the dark in the form several hypodermic harpoon needles that will inject Marrina with viral recombinant DNA suppressor. Which MIGHT revert her back to her previous form.

Dr Pym also warns the Avengers to obviously not stick themselves with the harpoon needles because that’d be dumb.

Can’t tell if this is a chekov’s gun or just added detail.

Like that super special dart gun in Lost World Jurassic Park that would kill a dude in less than a second if they accidentally stuck themselves with it. But then the gun never got used at all.

Anyway, Black Knight says it’ll take him a couple hours to make some bazookas to shoot these harpoon needles.

He still sees the problem that Namor will get in the way. But Namor shows up to say he’ll definitely not get in the way!

Namor: “A true monach, Dane, will sacrifice anything, even his own happiness, for the good of the subjects he rules. That is his sacred trust. And though I am no longer a monarch, am I not a guardian of Earth and its mortal inhabitants? Is my trust not as sacred?”

Thor: “Well spoken, Prince Namor. I do not bid thee welcome, for what glad greeting can cloak the grim task that confronts us -- a kinslaying. But I speak as one Avenger to another... thy sacred trust in this hour of trial is gratefully received. No other warrior would I as lief have at my side.”

Frens. Or allies. Avengers. Whatever.

Namor sweetens the rejoining deal. Not only will he be more of a help than a hindrance, he’ll also show the Avengers where Leviathan Marrina is keeping all the ships she sinks.

And he does.

The Avengers get in their QUINJET and fly to the random part of the ocean that Namor tells them.

They don’t see Marrina which could mean she’s out looking for more ships.

Thor suggests they start searching.

Dr Druid says he’ll try a clairvoyant trace. WHICH WE ALREADY KNOW HE CAN USE TO FIND HER. HE DOESN’T FIND HER HERE. THE WORST.

Black Knight cobbled together a sonar pod to scan the oceans.

And Captain Marvel nyooms out in her lightform to zoom all around the world searching the oceans.

THEY STILL DON’T FIND ANYTHING FOR HOURS.

When they eventually find her its because there’s a static patch on their scanners, since Leviathan Marrina can, for some reason, jam signals.

When the Avengers find her, she’s sinking another ship. They arrive too late to save the ship and I guess there’s no survivors in the water because they jump right to trying to harpoon dart Marrina.

The first harpoon needle shatters against her armored scales.

She-Hulk reloads the bazooka and Black Knight figures that maybe her underbelly will be more penetrable. But Leviathan Marrina twists at the last moment and the second harpoon shatters against her armored head.

Thor jumps out of the Quinjet too and starts Mjolniring Marrina in the face, trying to distract her so Black Knight can get a good shot.

Thor: “HAVE AT THEE, CREATURE OF THE DEPTHS! The Avengers shall endeavor to save thee in spite of thyself!”

Black Knight takes aim at the stunned Leviathan Marrina’s underbelly... and no luck!

Her soft underbelly is still too armored.

And now there’s only one harpoon needle left...

Leviathan Marrina rises up to try to eat the people that keep shooting at her and She-Hulk has a sudden good idea.

She-Hulk: “That’s it! Her mouth! Aim for her mouth, Dane! No armor!”

With the very last shot, Black Knight shoots Marrina in the tonsils (ouch) with the cure.

AND IT WORKS!

God only knows where her swimsuit came from when she turned back into her normal self. But she’s back to normal!

Good times are here again.

Marrina: “Oh, my love. Is this another fevered illusion... or have my fondest dreams come true?”

Namor: “Fear not, my heart. You’re safe now, I promise. And here is my kiss upon it.”

Aw, that’s nice.

Now we scene change to the Kang subplot that’s happening for some reason and I’m sure everyone is excited about.

Remember? The one with Kang-123488.23497?

That guy! That specific Kang! Also, a billion other Kangs. Too many Kangs.

Beard Kang says that its rare for Kangs to survive a council war which means that despite the point of the original Council of Kangs to be a trap to kill all Kangs but Cape Kang, there’s so many infinite Kangs that there are multiple council wars of which Kang-123488.23497 is just the latest (whatever that means in terms of a group that transcends time) survivor to be scouted to join the Council of Cross-Time Kangs.

Which is like a Council of Kangs but probably less of a trap to secretly murder its members.

Since Kang-123488.23497 or Kang has survived a council war and also killed a little baby assassin Kang, he has proven he has the stuff to join the Council of Cross-Time Kangs.

And since its a join or die situation, Kang joins.

The lady Kang is apparently Nebula Kang and she is told to escort Kang to his new quarters.

OH HI NEBULA!

(Except it isn’t really.)

(Retcon alert: it will later turn out that this Nebula is actually Ravonna, spying on the Council of Cross-Time Kangs for Immortus or something. Which does follow up on that plot thread. But at the expense of following up on the Nebula plot thread. Nebula was transported by the Beyonder to somewhere away due to Firelord’s careless words. Starfox left the Avengers to go look for her while the team went back to Earth. Wouldn’t it make this stupid new infinite Kang pile more relevant to the team if it was Nebula? This is where she wound up after the Beyonder yeeted her? And because her plot thread was never tied off, she’s back and causing trouble for the Avengers? Spoiler alert: Nebula Kang will cause trouble for the Avengers.)

OH HI NEBULA! SO THIS IS WHERE YOU’VE BEEN

Kang is confused that Nebula Kang is called Nebula so she explains that since everyone is a Kang, they choose individual names to avoid confusion.

Kang-123488.23497 decides he’s going to be Fred. Fred the Kang. Fred Kang.

As in Flintstone.

Such a choice.

Nebula Kang also tells Fred Kang that her quarters are just down the hall from his. And flirtatiously suggests he come visit her sometime so she can whisper sweet lore dumps in his ear.

I don’t know if Kangs fucking Kangs is weird or not. Nebula Kang, whether Ravonna or Nebula, isn’t Kang. So its fair game for her. But they all dress alike so its a bit narcissistic, isn’t it?

Anyway, the lore dump she wants to sweetly whisper to him is about “the deadliest weapon in the omniverse” and how the Council of Cross-Time Kangs is all about finding it.

Well, that answers my question of what the hell this organization even does.

After she returns to her quarters, Nebula Kang says there are depths to Fred that she’ll enjoy plumbing.

God, Nebula. Stop being horny.

But she sits in a comfy looking chair and puts on what looks like an airplane neck pillows so she can check on her “catspaw.”

Nebula Kang: “Becoming a member of the Kang Korps was the wisest move of my career. And seducing the future leader of the Avengers will be the second!”

AND SHE TAKES ON THE FORM OF THE SEXY OMINOUS LADY FROM DR DRUID’S OMINOUS SEX DREAMS!

GOD DAMMIT DR DRUID, YOU’RE LETTING NEBULA MANIPULATE YOU! STOP THINKING WITH YOUR DICK, YOU DICK!

Anyway.

Back at the plot, the Avengers fly Marrina toward a hospital. Namor refuses to let anyone else hold her because he’s a romantic like that.

But suddenly everything goes wrong because we’re not allowed nice things in editorial mandate land.

Marrina: “I’m cold. So cold. I feel as though a hand of ice clutches at my heart and freezes my blood!”

Namor tries to warm her up with kisses but observes that her lips are like ice.

And suddenly she freaks out, begging Namor for help while also thrashing and clawing at him.

The cure didn’t. She’s reverting to the bestial form that preceded the leviathan. And shortly after, reverting to the leviathan.

Her thrashing causes Namor to crash into the ocean.

Thor tells Namor to kill Marrina before she can become big huge large again but Namor hesitates and she becomes big huge large.

Where the fuck did the mass for that come from?

Whatever. This is the Marvel universe where Hank Pym makes conservation of mass weep like a tiny child.

Actually... Speaking of that... hey this is a dramatic moment and all... its very sad that Hank Pym’s shot in the dark cure didn’t work... Why didn’t he just send the Avengers an assload of Pym Particles?

They shrink Marrina, put her in a little terrarium, and then study her and try to cure her from a more informed point?

Dammit, Hank!

You’ll shrink Tigra later and put her in a cat carrier but you won’t shrink Marrina? Playing favorites!

Anyway, not only does Marrina grow back up to a big ol’ Leviathan, she grows bigger than she was before.

Makes no sense but sometimes writers have to force the ending they want.

See, this isn’t the same level of threat the Avengers were already dealing with. It’s an indeterminate but larger level of threat.

Thor even says that if Marrina keeps getting bigger, she may endanger THE ENTIRE EARTH! As opposed to just shipping and coastal communities.

Thor and Captain Marvel decide to unleash electricity on Marrina, hoping to electrocute her before she finishes transforming.

For some reason, Monica decides this is the time to comment that she doesn’t know if she reaaaaally believes Thor is the reeeeal Norse god of thunder. But whatever, it’s not a relevant line of thought to this situation.

Thor summons lightning with Mjolnir and Captain Marvel turns herself into electrical energy and both slam into Leviathan Marrina with a KRAKKATHOOOUM!

Ah, Simonson. If nothing else, always good with lightning noises.

Anyway, its not going to be clear until next issue but this is the end of Monica Rambeau's stint as Avengers chairwoman.

She accidentally fucked up electrifying this giant sea monster, dissipated too much of her energy, and winds up de-powered and nearly dead.

This is the character assassination era. Even in this moment, she can’t be allowed a heroic sacrifice. It has to be another colossal boneheaded Monica Rambeau pratfall.

Sigh.

We’ll get to that with issue #294.

For right now, Captain Marvel is an afterthought, lost in the confusion of everything else going on.

The massive electrocution (which remember, cost Monica her powers accidentally) does not stop Leviathan Marrina. Hell, its not even said that it significantly inconvenienced her.

So Black Knight decides that despite the curse of bad shit if it tastes blood, he must use his extremely cursed cut anything sword to kill Leviathan Marrina.

Namor stops him. Because This Is Something He Has To Do Himself.

But the thing is. Black Knight did decide to risk the effects of the curse to save the world. I’m contrasting it with Monica losing her powers because of a fuck-up.

I’m so grumpy right now.

Sigh sigh sigh.

Namor: “Marrina, my beloved. Hear me, wherever you may be. That which I swore to guard has been taken from us both... And only death now can free your soul from within this living prison! RISE LEVIATHAN! Rise up, and meet your nemesis! FOR MY BELOVED! FOR MARRINA!”

Also, Black Knight freaks out yelling about blood.

Huh. I knew there was a curse on the Ebony Blade that would activate if it ever tasted blood and that’s why Dane tended to just whack people with it.

But I don’t know if he’s ever said what the curse would do, exactly.

For starters, it seems to knock him the fuck out. And his Atomic Steed nearly plummets into the ocean before Thor catches him.

Thor comments that if the curse has really activated, he might be better off dead. So Thor apparently knows what it does.

Dangit, leaving the audience in the dark.

Leviathan Marrina isn’t quite dead because she’s quite big and takes quite a while to die.

She swims to the bottom of the ocean to where she piled all her sunken ships to die among her prizes... and her eggs.

‘TWAS A NEST!

There’s three eggs. Which hatch and the babies zoom off into the ocean depths.

One of the Avengers (it’s unclear because they’re speaking from off-panel) wonders who the father was and another Avenger says they may never know.

But judging by that one hatchling, I’d say that the father was most likely Black Panther.

No wonder Namor is so pissed off at the guy later on.

Marrina shrinks down to her pre-monsterified form (where did the mass go??) and Namor cradles her dead, deceased corpse and swears to find her babies and “teach them of their mother’s spirit.”

Presumably her Alpha Flight and Avengers spirit and not the spirit of all the ship sinking.

He also swims off to build Marrina “a bier fit for a queen... where you will rest forever amidst the coral, the sea jade, and mother-of-pearl... the most precious jewel in all the sea.”

And Namor fucks off.

So I guess he’s not actually rejoining the team.

He’s going through a lot right now so it’s understandable.

With Marrina dead and Namor fucked off, the Avengers decide to go to a hospital for Black Knight when suddenly (as the end of issue cliffhanger) Dr Druid realizes Captain Marvel never came back from that lightning thing.

Great. So not only is her depowering presented (next issue) as something that was a fuckup and not an intentional sacrifice), also none of her friends even noticed she was gone. The dude that’s been constantly undermining her was the only one that noticed.

This issue fucking sucks.

I’ll complain more about Monica’s treatment when I get to next issue but Marrina gets the short end of the stick too!

Turned into a giant, world-threatening monster for reasons of -shrug, confused grunt- and her husband is forced to kill her. After they try all of one time to cure her.

She didn’t get to do a lot in Avengers but she was an established character over in Alpha Flight and she’s being killed off as part of a story to kick Monica off the team and presumably to make Namor sad.

Stern was apparently kicked off the book for pushing back against the character assassination era but I don’t know whether Marrina was always part of Gruenwald’s plan or whether Simonson added that on.

Either way, it sucks.

I feel very negative about this stretch of comics.

Maybe things will get better. But the Worst Roster in issue #300 is upcoming. And then after a bit, John Byrne will be taking over both Avengers books.

There’s some that like John Byrne’s writing but his run contains several very irritating retcons and shifts in characterization.

We’ll see.

Follow @essential-avengers​ because where else are you going to get this level of olde Avengers coverage? The rest of the internet? Don’t be ridiculous. Like and reblog and comment, maybe.

[bamsara]

I saw this question on another artists page and I got curious. What’s a trend/headcanon that you’ve noticed in the fandom that you can’t stand? And is there a reason why?

I'm not a fan of answering this question because I think if I talk about what hc I dislike, it'll influence or invite dogpiling on a HC

Also I don't really...dislike other people's hc? I don't even like it when people say 'mischaracterization' for someone's interpretation of a character since everyone's personal view on a character is their own deal (and I think theres a lot of Bad when you have one characterization to be the 'correct' one regardless of how popular it is) Like there's no wrong or right way. Same with HCs

If asked what technical fanfic stuff I dislike and I could tell you how some paragraph formatting is hard to read but actual other people's creations/hcs I don't fume over. I'm writing/drawing exactly what I want to see anyway so like. why would i care

anyways peace and love on planet earth and love what you want forever

[hailsatanacab]

A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

[rbvcdeluxe]

something something max's main color being red with blue highlights something something grace's main color being blue with red highlights something something motivations something something alive and dead something something

[sthilarions]

During a case many years ago, a witch made a poppet (roughly equivalent to the popular conception of a “voodoo doll”) of Edwin. They defeated the witch soundly and got the poppet, but there’s no safe way to destroy it. The only place Edwin and Charles trust as safe enough to keep it is inside Charles’s backpack, where no one but Charles could possibly get to it.

Charles largely forgets about it, buried deep deep down in the bag, until Edwin is held captive, less than a year after their jaunt to Hell, and there’s absolutely no way to get to him until the portal opens again at the next full moon, and he’s going crazy with worry, imagining Edwin in all sorts of misery without Charles not even able to so much as comfort him. He’s digging mindlessly through the bag when he gets to the poppet, and, he realizes, there is this one thing he can do.

He pulls it out with a care he wouldn’t give to a Faberge egg, because this is the most precious thing in the world, in any world, and looks at it for a moment. Then he reaches out ever so gently and strokes its hair. He murmurs reassurances to it - it’s alright, I’m sorry, I love you. He sings lullabies, curls around it and hugs it against him so, so carefully, tilts his head down and presses kisses to its soft curl-covered head.

He doesn’t let the poppet go for even a moment on all the days until the full moon returns, even as he’s preparing for battle, preparing to absolutely fucking obliterate the bastards that are holding Edwin.

Just as the portal opens, he finally places the poppet back in his bag, in the safest, warmest corner. He hefts the arsenal in his arms and strapped to his back and floating around him and charges through.

He tears through the stronghold in minutes, and he does literally mean through - he’s left a trail of smoking rubble behind him where ghost-proof walls used to be - and finally, finally gets to Edwin, and -

“Ah, Charles, there you are. Not to worry, I’m quite alright. There has been some sort of force - “

Charles doesn’t even hear him as he wraps himself around Edwin, and his body follows the same motions it has for weeks now, stroking hair, pressing kisses, murmuring muffled you’re alright I love you you’re alright I’m sorry I love you I’m sorrys into Edwin’s hair, which is even softer in reality than on the poppet, and Edwin says -

“Ah. That was you.”

Charles can’t see or hear anything other than Edwin, at the moment, but he can’t not see Edwin, so he has a very clear view as Edwin reaches his arms out and, with a few words, takes control of all the magical weapons and orbs and so forth that have been trailing after Charles.

And he hears when Edwin says “Well, then, Charles, shall we depart?”

And he feels it when Edwin lifts him as effortlessly as he lifted the poppet, holding him so he can keep his nose buried against Edwin’s neck as Edwin blasts his way out.

And he definitely feels it when, a few very loud minutes later, they’re back in their office, and Edwin’s head turns to meet one of his kisses.

“It’s alright, Charles. I’m sorry I left you alone. I love you.”

[rystiel]

i feel like poolverine easily could’ve been one of those “they’re flirty but it’s mostly unserious” situations, and for most of the movie yeah they were extremely gay, but wade’s been like that with other guys and it was never treated as a serious type of relationship before. they’re willing to die for each other, but even then the romantic aspect of their relationship could be glossed over because it’s a superhero movie, that’s just what they do, and they’re working together to save a whole timeline—it’s not just about them. but then the movie doesn’t end with them saving the day and moving on. i think this’s really the part that sells poolverine as a genuine relationship to me… logan’s leaving, and wade calls for him. he can’t stand to let him go. then he introduces him to his family, and logan stays. he doesn’t really need to stay, but they’ve both decided they’re better off with one another than without