#Like. We get it. You hate us. You hate that we exclude men. Should we throw a party. Should we invite transmascpetewentz

[honeylemony]

It would be great if the "lesbians are valid for not wanting men" posts ever took off as much as the "lesbians can fuck men!!!! Lesbians should give men a chance!!!" posts. Wonder why that doesn't happen

[genderqueerdykes]

just kind of throwing this at your wall, sorry in advance. saw the post about "kill all men" and got really upset

im a trans guy. my boyfriend is cis, and im the first guy hes dated before. (sees me fully as whatever i want to be, does not care about my gender expression and loves me for me. great guy). he doesnt have many friends from being asocial as a teenager, so most of his friends are my trans friends!

of course. like every trans group seems to fall prey to, theres always the "all [CIS] men are bad" conversation that comes up somehow. and i never really thought much of it, because in my head itd be "ah yeah all men Except My Boyfriend"

but he and i were talking after some drinks, and he made a point that really struck me. about how he doesn't like being The Exception to the point, that he's still a man and has no interest in being anything But a man. so when people say stuff like that, he gets uncomfortable; not because He IS The Problem (like everyone who gives the "if youre saying not all men, youre the men" argument) but because it makes him feel ostracized from everyone. and idk, it really struck me.

we say stuff like that way too often in an attempt to exclude certain groups of people; and i feel like we end up excluding people close to us by proxy.

thanks for listening

i really appreciate you for taking the time to send this. i've been meaning to talk about this and have been forgetting. the following is of course not directed at you, anon, it is directed at people who behave like this

you're not feminist, progressive, cool, pro-queer rights or funny for saying "kill all men". you are exposing that you are a violent and dangerous person for believing that people should be profiled and literally killed for their gender or PERCEIVED gender.

this doesn't make people like you more. it outs you as a danger. how do we know you won't turn that hatred toward women whenever you feel like changing the goalposts? i can't trust someone like that to not turn that hatred toward other genders, either. YOU are the dangerous person you are profiling men as. you can't use men as a scapegoat for everything. sometimes YOU are the violent person who needs help.

your boyfriend shouldn't have to feel like that. like people have never really cared about gay men but people just straight up gave up all pretenses that they do and i hate it. cis men are not inherently evil. cis men can still be queer. cis men can still be good people. your boyfriend shouldn't have to feel isolated because he's cis. that's profiling. he belongs. why do people assume that everyone with a partner who is a man hates them? not everyone is choosing to be in a relationship with someone they hate. i understand that some people will date someone no matter who just to have a partner so they're not lonely, but not everyone does this. some people genuinely love their boyfriends

i'm sorry you both have dealt with this. i hope things can improve because men don't deserve to feel like this. this is why toxic masculinity exists in the first place. we have to stop reinforcing that men are evil monsters. they won't stop believing that if we keep telling them that forever. stay safe. your boyfriend is not a bad person & deserves to have a wonderful life.

[genderkoolaid]

I feel like you would get this, seeing this comment section kinda hurt. The OP they are responding to is a non-binary trans man who was talking about feeling uncomfortable because they still feel attraction to lesbians and have felt very excluded. He’s wary around certain lesbians because they center their ideology around hating men regardless of gender identity and has faced a lot of anti-transmasculinity and transmisogyny. While most lesbians are wonderful amazing people there’s no denying that some do hold an innate hatred for men, not saying they need to like men. I fully understand lesbians and predatory cis men but there’s definitely lesbians who would date trans men. It can be scary for a trans man to come out or start transitioning because at what point do they become too masculine or too much of a man for their friends. There were even people in the comments saying the same anti-man statements who identify as a he/him nonbinary lesbian. This topic is very hard to hear for me as a closeted genderfluid person because my best friend is a man hating lesbian and I dread the day I can actually begin transitioning and she turns her back on me like these people. Queer spaces in general can be hard to occupy as a multi gendered person because of those people as well as mlm/nblm spaces that say ‘fem aligned dni’. In general I don’t think we should police labels and everyone has their own interpretation and I think labels are just a suggestion anyway but I suppose that makes sense for a genderfluid bisexual person.

These people just straight up do not understand the gender diversity that has always existed in lesbian spaces (by which I mean spaces built & catering to queer women & those seen as women).

There have always been trans men in lesbian spaces. You aren't obligated to fuck them, but they have always been there. There are pages and pages of writing out there not only by trans male dykes, but by the lesbian cis women who love them and still identify as lesbians while in relationships with them. There are trans guys at dyke bars right now as we speak having a great time.

Its not surprising to me that there are he/him NB lesbians supporting this. There are a lot of people out there who, because they don't identify As Men, mentally distance themselves from those who do despite any similarities. It's okay for THEM to be lesbians, and it's transphobic to erase THEIR lesbianism because they are Non-Men™! but once you cross that line you become the enemy. It's very "no you gyns I'm TOTALLY different than those gross tbros i promise im not a man at all and i will never want to be one so im allowed in the club!" The same people also throw multigender people under the bus. Trying to figure out your nonbinary in this environment is hellish (I speak from experience) because people pretend like they are super accepting of nonbinary people, until you realize that if you ever think of yourself as even slightly male people will start seeing you as a predatory invader trying to Force Lesbians To Date Men! Very "complex gender for me but not for thee"

Anyways. Twitter is not a good place. Anon, I hope you find better friends. Not every queer space is this hostile to us, I promise. There are people out there who genuinely work to make our community better and I hope you find them.

[caassette]

been on tumblr less than a week and already Trans Discourse is on my timeline front page dash...

idk i kind of just feel like...there are actual real threats right now in the world to all trans people, and like. trying to create in-groups and out-groups within the community is the most braindead thing you can do

they are killing us. they want us dead. any time you try to segregate one fraction of the queer community from another, their job gets a little easier. let me give you an example that happened recently in Texas while I was living there:

June 2022: Log Cabin Republican Praises Trump, "Don't Say Gay", Trans Hate

Also June 2022: Texas GOP's New Platform calls gay people "abnormal"

Log Cabin Republicans are essentially gay conservatives. And as part of trying to be accepted, under Trump, they decided trans people were the out-group and that gay people (specifically, white cisgender gay men) were the in-group.

If I had to guess, they probably figured so long as they also pointed the finger at us and called us groomers and said we were fetishists, they would be more accepted in the republican party.

Guess what happened? Not that! Instead, the Texas GOP, in 2022 (Two Thousand And Twenty Two) decided that being gay was once again Not Okay!

This is what I'm getting at: in queer spaces, always, always, there must be solidarity. There is no such thing as someone who is "not gay enough", or "not really trans", or "just looking for attention."

I, myself, am a binary trans woman. My current partner is a genderfluid transmasculine nonbinary person. Do I spend hours talking with them about how they do or don't face certain forms of oppression, or about how their identity is less valid than mine?

Of course not! We kiss and hold hands and fuck and have empathy for each other.

As a queer person it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to be one hundred percent accepting, validating, and encouraging of ALL QUEERNESS, because the second you decide to draw the line, the oppressor wins.

Maybe you're not a Log Cabin Republican. Maybe you're not advocating for trans genocide while being in a same-sex relationship. Maybe you just, idk, use the word "theyfab." Or you think pansexuals should "just call themselves bi."

It doesn't matter that the line you've drawn is farther left, or smaller, or excludes less of the community.

What matters is that you've drawn it at all.

[largemandrill]

Alrighty girlies, I won’t let us ignore him any longer.

This guy. This fucking guy. He’s a great summon, good health, AMAZING damage, and most importantly: Messmer lore.

WARNING: This joke post got super out of control. Get ready for a mini-essay below

He was second in command to his commander father, Andreas. Both served Messmer until Andreas discovered his “serpentine nature”, this lead to a rebellion that the commander led. Naturally, his son follows him to the end, that end being imprisoned deep within a catacomb. All pretty standard lore, shows that Messmer’s troupes weren’t entirely cool with the genocide they were doing. What I want to talk about is this line that is only on Huw’s description, and not his father’s.

“Messmer mourned the loss of a brother-in-arms”

If this line was on both Ashes, I would assume that Messmer mourned the lost men in the rebellion, despite their betrayal. Yet it’s only present on the captain’s description, not the man who led the rebellion in the first place. You know damn well what I’m about to do with this.

The main reason I’m jumping straight to “they were probably like a little gay” and not that Messmer was close to the leader of his main offensive force is the fact that Huw is a second in command. I would assume that a lord would have a better bond with the lead commander, there are less steps of hierarchy in between their positions. Messmer would have also known Andreas longer, (Let’s be real Huw got that position via nepotism) thus there would be higher familiarity.

What should also be mentioned is that Messmer’s feelings about others (excluding his mother) are hardly lingered on. Rellana was his sword, yet we only know her motives, not his. He was friends with Gaius due to both of them being cursed and also being mentor figures for Radahn, but there’s much more about Gaius and Radahn’s bond than between him and Messmer. This is the only (?) time that Messmer’s feelings on the matter are mentioned so bluntly. “Comrade-in-arms” in the context of Elden Ring is used much more frequently. If I remember correctly, this is what Freyja calls you if you summon her for the Dancing Lion. I’d argue that using brother is a signifier of a deeper relationship. To view someone not as an ally but as family, someone you couldn’t live without, a loved one. There’s also the fact that it’s mentioned that Huw followed his father. That reads like he was hesitant to betray Messmer, but his blood came before any affection he had for his Liege. Isn’t that the most classic of Tragedy? To choose your flesh and blood over your heart’s greatest desire? I’d hate to get poetic here, but the story writes itself.

Huw’s coffin was more beautifully decorated than that of his father. There were active guards, flowers, the room was larger. It’s quite gaudy when compared to Andreas’ open coffin in what could be described as a closet when it comes to size comparison. One was buried like a champion, beloved by a lord. The other buried with minimum respect given his status, but with the bitterness of betrayal.

Brother-in-arms.

[faux-ecrivain]

1950s househusband x gn reader

marinette4943 asked: Hey!

I saw your yandere housekeeper and loved the way you wrote it. Do you intend to do a next part?

If so, could you tag me in it?

————————————————————

Name; Angelo

Thirty second official post

@marinette4943

————————————————————

From Part 3; 

        He is absolutely whipped for you, everything you do is committed to his memory, and he inches closer to you with every passing second. “You’re welcome, so, are you going to give me a tour of the town or some advice to settle in, and get along with my neighbors?” He didn’t want to, but he figured that it was best to be as helpful as possible. That way, you’ll trust him the most and will come back to him whenever you need help. You, however, scoot away from him, eventually ending up near the end of the couch in a corner. “Oh, uhm, certainly. I’ll be happy to give you advice and a tour, but I was hoping we could simply have a friendly chat first…” Angelo responds hopefully, he just wants to get to know you and does want to talk about anyone else.

              However, something you said earlier caught his attention. “Unexpected? Wh-what do you mean by that?” He questions nervously, his wide eyes nervously glancing at you and his bottom lip quivering at the thought of you hating him. You tilt your head, slightly confused and then you try to clarify without sounding rude. “Well, back where I’m from men don’t often wear dresses, that’s all.” Before you can clarify any further he interrupts you, which was quite rude and he apologizes for that, but doesn’t stop talking. “Sorry for interrupting, but you don’t like it? Does my fashion sense upset you?” He inquires his expression shifting into anxiety and his mind begins to work in overdrive. His hands squeezes the cloth of his dress and he twists the fabric. Angelo doesn’t do well with rejection, of any form or shape. 

          Suddenly this conversation seems very awkward to you and you regret opening your mouth. “That’s not what I meant, that dress looks great on you. It’s just someone have to get used to, that’s all.” He smiles and he seems content with your response. “Really? You mean it? Thank you!” It isn’t often that he gets a compliment from anyone and it’s been a while since anyone he was interested in complimented him (excluding his spouse, he loves his spouse so very much and is very interested in them). Angelo relaxes and leans his head on your shoulder, which causes you to cringe and push his head away. He whines and leans against you once more, this time he wraps his arms around your arm and nuzzles your neck. Now you’re very uncomfortable and have begun to regret your decision to let him inside.

 ———————————————————-

 Subtly, you try to push him away. You didn’t want to be rude, but his unnecessary affection was making you extremely uncomfortable. Sadly, his grip on your arm does not loosen and seems to tighten. Angelo scoots closer, he’s so close that you could count each one of his eyelashes. He sighs, seemingly unaware of how close he is, or maybe he knows and just doesn’t care. You clear your throat and lean as far away from him as you can. “Ahem, so, about that tour…” You smirk awkwardly and try to make a simple conversation, if only to alleviate the discomfort you felt. He acknowledges your words with a hum, but doesn’t respond for quite some time. It’s silent and awkward as you try to ignore the very obvious bedroom eyes Angelo is sending your way.

        You clear your throat again and try to get his attention. “Ahem, Angelo, could you please let go of me or move away?” It takes a moment for your words to sink in and when the do, Angelo shoots away from you. His eyes are wide, his face is flushed with embarrassment and his mouths is agape. It’s clear that he’s absolutely mortified by his behavior. Immediately he begins to apologize. “Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry, Neighbor! That was so inconsiderate of me, Oh! I feel so ashamed! Oh, I should go, I shouldn’t behave like that around you!” Part of his apology sounds a bit like an excuse, but you can tell by his expression that his apology is sincere. “Did I make you uncomfortable? Oh, I’m truly sorry if I did!”

          You chuckle and wave off his worries, you begin to placate him, and attempt to halt his incessant apologies. “Oh, it’s alright, Angelo. It really isn’t that terrible, I was uncomfortable, but I’m sure you didn’t mean anything by it.” Oh, he certainly meant something by his actions, it wasn’t anything sinister, but it was something that Angelo wasn’t ready to face. He was experiencing so much turmoil, the very idea that he almost betrayed his spouse made his physically ill. He could never hurt them like that, sure they weren’t the best spouse, but he still loved them. “No, I-I have to leave, I-I can’t-Oh!” Angelo struggles to breathe, his previous actions set in, and he felt like crying.

         He has to leave, Angelo couldn’t stay another minute is your presence. Especially when he’s constantly tempted to crawl into your arms and never leave them. Once more, you try to reassure him, but he doesn’t listen. “Angelo, it really isn’t a big deal. I’m sure you meant nothing by it and nothing came of it, so it’s alright. Let’s just sit back down and enjoy a nice, civil conversation.” It sounded as though you were trying to calm him down, and that made him feel even worse. Well, the way he felt when you expressed concern for him, made him feel even worse. “No, no, I have to go. My sp-spouse is coming home soon an-and I don’t want to disappoint them.” He tries to reason with himself and his desires, but it’s not working.

       Mostly because his heartbeat seemed to increase with every word that you spoke, he knew what that meant, and he couldn’t give into such sinful desires. He had to stay loyal to his spouse, although, thoughts of loyalty seemed to remind Angelo of the way his spouse has been behaving recently.  Which causes his brows to furrow and halts his apologies, as his mind wanders to his spouses recent behavior. His spouse has been distant (more so than usual) and they keep coming home late. Normally, he wouldn’t worry about that, but each night they come home smelling like cheap perfume, and then he starts to think about the recent rumors he’s heard. The ones about househusband Damian and his cheating spouse. This causes Angelo to consider the idea that maybe his spouse is cheating on him, and the very thought is appealing to him. It causes him to be sick, and he nearly faints. (Luckily you caught him before he could actually fall, and now you’re fussing over him, oh, his heart can’t take it!)

         No, he can’t give into temptation. He has to stay loving and loyal, it’s not that hard, and surely his spouse will take notice of his devotion. He just has to keep trying, right? It doesn’t matter how exhausting it is or how much easier it would be to allow his new neighbor into his heart. Angelo has to remain strong, and eventually, he’ll be rewarded for his loyalty, won’t he?

————————————————————

    (I don’t really like this installment of househusband Angelo, I’m not proud of it, but I figured that if I do a bit of writing about one of my favorite OCs then I might get back into writing. But, who knows, I’m a creature of habit and writing is exhausting. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this, and hopefully, I’ll be back to writing at a normal pace again.)

[qlventingspace]

I'd like to drop some of my thoughts about The Heart Killers here.

You know I'm kinky ace, my love of Pete in the VegasPete days was quite evident as well as my belated realization that I forgot I've always been kinky on some level.

I get that show like Heart Killers is not everyone's cuppa and it's totally fine to be sad about not being able to watch show with your favourite actors for whatever reason.

But.

But this is a show made by a queer man about fantasy queer men.

If you start hating on it (based just on what was shown to us in a trailer) just because you can't watch it and/or it's too sexual or kinky for you ... that's not a problem of the show.

That's a you problem. If you don't like, do not watch and for fucks sake do not start with moralizing.

I'm more than happy to be surprised and I'm on the edge of my seat looking towards what the show is gonna be like bc they didn't give us any concrete hints.

FUCK YES.

I also think that First and Khaotung are literally powerhouses regarding acting and I can't wait to see them in completely new roles we haven't seen them before.

It's surprising, yes, considering how fluffy and cute and comfy vibes they're excluding in their own personal lives but what do we know?! Maybe they wanted to try smth new or maybe they are multifaceted people who like the roles for personal reasons?

Not my place to speculate.

But to see people insisting on them being pushed to filming scenes like that against their will or feeling like they are 'too pure' for kink or sex scenes - that is outright disrespecting their integrity and free will and truly viewing them as only a dolls fans can play with and dictate what they can and cannot appear in.

They are talented, mindful and picky actors, who have enough of will and freedom to choose whatever roles they wanna explore.

P'Jojo is adamant about actors being okay and comfortable filming scenes like that and it was also mentioned that the final nc scenes are always first approved by the actors who star in them (as mentioned in the OF bts).

So knowing all that, insisting on FK being somehow unwilling participants of that, is reeking of homophobia and fan entitlement to actors choices. Stop that.

I went on a tangent a bit.

What I wanted to share as well though is the joy and anticipation!!

I struggle with series that literally rely just on sex scenes, while the plot, cinematography and editing is shite. In those cases sex scenes (though filmed well) are not enough to keep me interested.

In case of Heart Killers I am only excited. I know Jojo's work, so that's in itself is guarantee of quality as well as authentic queer experience (or fantasy in this case).

The soundtrack again will be a blast bc of Jojo's excellent taste and ofc Khaotung singing the smashing ost.

As for the genre I still have no fucking clue what's that supposed to be but I'm swinging wildly from action to romance to crime to comedy to thriller.

(side note: why are people now complaining about it being "soft/lith porn" is beyond me when similar people were excited about porn in different series ??? explain?

sideside note: also manymany straight media is basically porn hiding under fantasy or romance genre but I don't see people accentuating those being porn when talking about them

sidesideside note: also reducing the series that HAVEN'T EVEN COME OUT YET to mere porn is outright disrespectful to creators as well as actors)

The plot (excluding any possible spoilers since I avoid them like a fucking plague) seems engaging and interesting and full of twists and it will probably be not what we imagine or expect but that's exactly what I ehehe EXPECT of it.

As for the sex and kink.

Why should it be smth bad or morally wrong just because it's a bl? Just because it's a gay sex and kink?

I swing wildly between finding sex scenes boring, fascinating, completely no shut it off and being horny cause it's hot.

It's just how I am.

THK has the advantage that it has FK to keep my hyperfixation happy and considering the filming crew, the aesthetics and general vibe of the nc scenes will be bloody fucking beautiful.

I was fully hooked from the trailer and I can say that the combo of FK talent, sub/dom vibes, bondage and probably whole layer of christian guilt (saw you Jesus on a shirt, I'm so sorry) will be my downfall.

[dykeulous]

How do you get patience to deal with TIFs when they are out there saying shit like "but why do you say that you hate all men, it's too binary 😥" or "girls in high school bullied me for being too masculine but boys did not (?), so your idea that men are more oppressive is wrong"?

gender conforming girls bullying gnc girls in school is a very common problem, one that is very much connected to misogyny. girls being mean to & ostracizing other girls because “they aren’t like them” is likewise a common problem we should be talking about. homophobic women have a very unique way of acting out their homophobia, specifically against lesbians, and that is something that we undoubtedly need to be talking about– especially given the rates of lesbian exclusion within feminist spaces, historically & contemporarily. neurotypical & allistic girls being ableist to neurodivergent & autistic girls who don’t conform to societal norms is also a huge problem, very connected to misogyny & we need to talk about it when having feminist discussions. making fun of gnc female people is not feminist, no matter how “insufferable” you find them to be. mocking them & claiming their problems aren’t valid, claiming their history of being bullied specifically by girls is false, calling them attention-seeking-male-validation-wanting-pick-mes is not the feminist move many may think. you are not morally superior for being gender conforming or for not being dysphoric. “tifs” face a unique form of misogyny & oppression that you probably cannot relate to. you can criticize internalized misogyny & reactionary behavior from dysphoric female people & transmascs without generalizing us all. malgendering is a big thing within the trans community, and there are several transfems (baeddels) out there claiming they “hate all men” & being outright misogynistic to transmascs under the thin veil of their fucked up version of feminism. there are genuinely misogynistic transmascs out there, i agree, and by all means criticize them when they start with “transmisandry” claims & “hating all men is harmful” rants– but invalidating their trauma & instituting that someone “has the patience to deal with them” (concluding that they are insufferable annoying confused girls that thus should be excluded & left behind from feminism) is just no way to go on about that criticism. please refrain from speaking about the things you are uneducated about. that being said, you literally sent this ask to a transmasc person… don’t know if you are aware of that though.

[self-loving-vampire]

Re: the cool girl thing: I think there's a cultural feminist tendency toward pride in conventional femininity being homologous to what "black is beautiful," pride in "natural hair," etc. is to black people and "That's Mr. Faggot to you!" type signalling is to queer people. The idea is, like, "We should stop letting our opponents define this as low-status and start taking pride in it!"

Cont. prev. ask: In that framework, disassociating from the thing is viewed with suspicion; it gets the reaction of "Are you agreeing with our enemies that this is low-status and think you're too good for it? Are you trying to signal to them that you're like them and agree with them?" Cont. prev. ask: I think an important context here is while, no, normie men by-in-large do not prefer GNC women, sexist men do often see make-up as emblematic of negative traits they think women have (frivolity, vapidity, shallowness, vanity, obsession with appearance, vapid selfish desire for luxury and social status), and a lot of conventional feminine feminists suspect the Cool Girl of being Like That because she agrees with sexist men about that. Cont. prev. ask: I disagree with that perspective/mindset, but that's how I think it works.

It does seem to be kind of a defensive/insecure reaction that immediately results in extreme conclusions about the non-conformists.

For example, I never use makeup because I can't be bothered, would rather spend my time and money elsewhere, and already have nice skin anyway.

You would need to make a very uncharitable jump in reasoning to conclude that it's actually because I think it's low-status due to it commonly associated with women. You would then need to make a further jump to conclude that I therefore think other women are lesser for using it.

It is an attitude that can result in labeling people who are just doing their own thing, and even people who have been straight-up excluded for being different (often queer or autistic in this case), as hateful enemies in a way that actually closely aligns with some sexist stereotypes.

For example, some of the people going on these rants seem to be creating their own version of the "Fake Gamer Girl" who only pretends to have her interests to appeal to men. There's this essentialist skepticism that women could actually enjoy "masculine" things naturally and without hidden motives.

And yeah, a lot of sexist men (my father being an easy example) do think that way about makeup. Some of them do see it as something useless and vapid, but what is sometimes missed in that conversation often is that they still expect women to wear it.

"Feminine" women may be kind of a joke to those types of sexists, but they're still something desirable and proper compared to the alternative.

What I wish for here is for people to stop gendering everything under the sun in the first place. A woman "acting like a man" by simply not wearing makeup and having interests outside of a narrow gendered range should not even be remarkable.

[runninriot]

inspired by the prompt Love is being able to say you’re sorry and mean it by @eyesofshinigami for @steddielovemonth day 23

sorry, not sorry

wc: 1688 | rated: t | tags: Robin Buckley is fed up with her idiot friends, Steve Harrington and Eddie Munson are oblivious and they’re bad at feelings, Love Confessions, Idiots to Lovers

„Why should I say sorry when he is the one acting weird. I didn’t do anything! It’s not my fault he doesn’t like me.” Steve looks at her, lips forming a bitchy pout, acting annoyed at her for bringing it up – like he really believes his own words and Robin is the one who just doesn’t get it.

Robin rolls her eyes.

God, she wants to strangle him sometimes. And Eddie, too. They are both so stupid, acting like they don’t like each other when everyone and their mother can see the longing looks they throw at each other whenever they are in the same room.

It’s been driving her mad.

They’ve been dancing around each other for weeks now, putting up fronts, acting like they just barely tolerate each other’s presence. Like they are forced to get along because of their mutual friends.

It’s bullshit. Sure, these two would’ve never met if it wasn’t for the little shitheads they both took under their wings (or maybe Dustin and his friends are actually the ones that took Eddie and Steve under theirs because the teens are clearly a lot more mature than these two idiots) but now that their worlds have collided, it’s so obvious that there is a connection between them neither wants to admit to.

   “You could’ve at least asked him to come?”

   “Robs, he didn’t even look at me when he came in earlier. What makes you think he wants to come to my place when he made it clear that he hates everything about the idea of spending time there?”

Steve is having a party on Saturday, invited everyone over, except for Eddie. Not because he purposely meant to exclude him but because Eddie’s been teasing him about it all week. Whenever Steve mentioned his plans, Eddie made a silly comment about how lame it sounds. ‘Bet the music will be all pop and no taste.’ – ‘Just beer? Come on, Harrington, grow up.’ – ‘Oh, a sleepover? Great! Are we gonna do pillow fights and face masks and all that fancy shit, too?’

Yeah, maybe Steve has a point. Eddie really didn’t make it seem like he wanted to be part of it. And it’s not really Steve’s fault for not understanding that Eddie is doing that out of self-protecting reasons. That he’d rather pretend to hate the idea of spending the night at Steve’s than having to live with the rejection of Steve not wanting him there in the first place. Steve is oblivious.

And obviously, Eddie is too.

And okay, Steve hasn’t exactly been showing Eddie that he cares for him either. Always pretends to be annoyed at him. Always bitching about the stupidest and most inane things like – ‘Yeah how about you grow up Mr Dungeon Master?! Aren’t you a little too old to keep playing games with teens?’ – ‘Jesus, Eddie, you know there’s a thing called hair brush one can use to tame that frizzy mop on your head?’ – ‘No thank you, I don’t want to be driving around in your van. That thing looks like it’s gonna fall apart any second.’

They’re constantly bickering and bantering, always so quick to be at each other’s throats. That is, until they think that no one is looking.

Because Steve actually loves to listen to Eddie talk when he’s leading the teens through a campaign, uses all these various voices to interpret the different characters he created.

And Robin just knows Steve’s finger itch to take care of Eddie’s unruly curls himself but he would never offer, would never say it out loud.

Robin can see the way Eddie’s gaze follows Steve around Family Video when he’s talking to her while Steve is attending to another customer – a sickly sweet smile on his lips, with eyes that are basically heart-shaped.

The way he blushes whenever Steve walks around shirtless and in his stupid, tiny shorts (ugh, men), tries and fails so hard every time not to stare with his mouth hanging open.

It’s like they’re both so desperately trying to convince themselves that they hate each other, when all of their stolen glances and hidden smiles keep giving them away.

   “You know how stubborn he is. I am pretty sure he would’ve said yes. But you didn’t ask and maybe now he thinks you don’t want him there. Did you think about that?”

Steve worries his bottom lip, looks like he’s contemplating what to say.

   “He hates me,” is all he offers and the sadness in his eyes breaks Robin’s heart.

-

   “Talk to him, Eddie.”

   “Pff, why should I? I’m not that desperate to attend some stupid party. What do you want me to say to him? Hey, sorry for making fun of you, could I maybe still get a pity invite so I don’t have to spend my Saturday alone and miserable while you’re all having a fun time? Yeah, no. Thanks.”

She’s gonna lose it with these two at some point. Robin has been trying. Beating around the bush, talking about that stupid party like it is the real problem just because neither Steve nor Eddie are ready to admit what it is really about.

   “What if I want you there. You’re my friend and I want to spend time with you too.”

   “I appreciate it, Bucks. I really do. And I love to hang out with you any time. But this is Steve’s party and if he doesn’t want me there, I have to accept it.”

She wants to shake him. Yell at him to drop the act and be fucking for real, just once.

   “Edward Albert Munson.”

The use of his full name has the desired effect of getting his full attention, eyes blown wide and his expression a mix of appalled and impressed.

   “Can you, for the love of anything that’s holy, stop pretending to be so above everything and just tell him already?!”

She knows it’s a little unfair to put that burden on Eddie when she could’ve told Steve the same. But she knows that between the two, Eddie will be easier to convince.

   “What are you talking about?” Eddie tries, but the blush on his cheeks tells her he knows exactly what she means.

   “You know what I’m talking about. I’m sick and tired of watching you guys pining for each other when you could’ve been making out for weeks now if you would just fucking talk.”

   “What?!” This time, Eddie seems genuinely stunned.

   “You two are perfect for each other. You’re both incredibly stupid and so far up your own asses, that you don’t see what you’re missing out on.”

She crosses her arms before her chest, suppresses the urge to smile triumphantly when she sees Eddie crumble as the realisation hits.

-

Steve is in the kitchen, preparing some snacks and drinks, when the doorbell rings. Everyone is already there, they’re all in the living room having a great time, so Steve thinks it might just be their pizza delivery.

   “Robs, can you get that?”

There’s no answer. Either she doesn’t hear him over the music or, more likely, she ignores him. Steve huffs, drops the bag of chips on the counter and goes to open the door.

He’s fumbling with his wallet, not even looking at the person standing on the bottom of his front steps, when a familiar voice gets his attention.

   “Hey, Steve.”

   “Eddie? What are you-“

Steve’s heart suddenly picks up speed when his eyes drift to Eddie’s lips, a small, shy smile tugging at the corners.

   “I wanted to apologize. I’ve been-“

   “No problem, man! I gotta say sorry, too. I should’ve just invited you and stop making such a big deal out of it.”

   “Not about- okay, yeah that too but- I’m sorry for being a dick. I’m sorry for- for not being honest with you. And I get that this not the best timing but a little bird told me to man up and-“

Steve’s mind is racing. He doesn’t have a clue where Eddie is going with this. Or maybe he does but he doesn’t want to hold up his hopes because surely, Eddie isn’t going to say what he wants him to.

   “I’m not sorry for making you feel like I don’t like you because the truth is, I don’t.”

Steve looks down at his own feet, needs a moment to process, a moment to breathe.

    Huh?

  “It’s more like, I’m totally gone for you, Steve. I want you in ways that scare me. I’m sorry for making you think I’m not head over heels in love with you and your stupid perfect hair and your annoying kindness and just... everything about you that’s had me losing sleep for weeks now.”

  “Oh.”

   “I’m sorry, Eddie,” he says when he looks back up, tries not to sound too excited because he feel like he deserves just a little revenge for the way Eddie phrased his earth shattering confession and nearly gave Steve a heart attack with it.

But then Eddie’s eyes fill with tears and there’s defeat written on his face and-

 No, that’s not what Steve wants.

   “I’m sorry for not doing this sooner.”

He surges forward, nearly misses a step when he flings himself at Eddie, wraps his arms around the other man’s neck and draws him into a kiss.

The kiss is desperate, full of regret for depriving himself of the wonderful feeling of Eddie’s plush lips on his. Dripping with want, spilling all the words he didn’t say, words he wants Eddie to know, to feel in every part of his body.

    I’m sorry for not telling you that I love you.

They are too caught up in the moment; too busy making out to notice Robin standing in the doorway, who came looking for Steve. There’s a huge smile on her face and she knows she’ll regret it because they will be insufferable together. But right now, all she is sorry for is not stepping in sooner.

Because they might be idiots but they’re her idiots and they deserve to be in love.

[drdemonprince]

idk if you've seen the new jessie gender vid about "transandrophobia" but it's not... awesome. youre a fellow trans dude i trust very much on this topic, so I figured i'd send it your way. https://youtu.be/oYTSxuVtR7c

it would be nice to have a succinct debunking of transandrophobia to be able to show people. ive read the autolenaphilia post, but maybe it would be cool to have something more up to date?

P.S.

congrats on the new book!

God, oof, yeah. Jessie Gender seems like a very sweet person, and she's been very open about being very sensitive to criticism and the dogpiling that she frequently experiences as a trans woman on the platform, and I don't think she should be giving so much credence to the trans men who are in her mentions complaining about trans mens' concerns being under-represented. I wish she had less of a reflexive fawn response and had the ability to tell some of her audience when she disagreed with them, because I think that's caused her a lot of stress in the past and continues to.

I really think the debunking of transandrophobia is as simple as this: androphobia isn't a thing. Misandry isn't a thing. Men are not hated or systematically excluded for being men. It's impossible for there to be an "intersection" between transphobia and misandry because misandry does not exist.

Anything that gets called transandrophobia is very transparently either transphobia, or some other prejudice such as racism or ableism, which touches the lives of many cis men as well. Trans men are not excluded from representation -- many of us have gotten massive book deals and acting roles and positions in academia in particular, and we don't get depicted as serial killers and sexual predators when we are represented the way trans women commonly are and have been for decades.

Trans women don't dominate trans spaces, and it's obvious fucking sexism to claim that they are. Trans women don't get all the resources, they just put more effort in general into creating community spaces, because women tend to do more emotional and social labor. (See also: fat men complaining that all the fat positivity spaces are made by women! MRA's complaining women didn't make a feminism just for them and men's concerns! make your own, dudes!) Trans men are men and that means most critiques of sexism are completely, obviously applicable to how they regard women, especially trans women.

I understand you want a handy authoritative text to point to here, but it already exists in the form of writing that trans women have done about the sexism they face: Whipping Girl for example being one of the most essential texts on the subject. We shouldn't need an authoritative man to say that sexism against women exists and that men need to work on our entitlement. I also think it's important that we not thoroughly argue with transandrophobia nonsense, but that we shut it down quickly and confidently as the obvious sexist bullshit that it is. This shit should get a dude laughed out of the room for being a shitty, misogynistic piss baby.

[0w0tsuki]

You wanna know what fucking sucks about the trans andro crowd? You know besides the fact that all it takes is a transfem breathing the wrong direction at them for them to call her a Terf. The fact that they have the SHEER GAUL to claim it is in the name of TransUnity.

You wanna know what trans unity was? It was a term created for us to rally around when this tide of genocidal legislation started rising. To gather around and show SUPPORT for one another. To mobilize and RESIST this wave of hatred.

And tbros saw this as a very convenient shield, an uno reverse card, something to accuse other people of being against when they themselves aren't performing it. If you call them out on their infighting and punching across they will use the very fact that your criticizing them of this to argue that actually? NO! YOUR infighting!

None of these tbros are going in counter protest to ACTUAL Terf rallies. They aren't spreading donation posts. They aren't talking about news about daily anti-trans laws being put forth and trying to resist them. No. They spend their whole time trying to Gotcha! Trans women.

You know what people interested in ACTUAL TransUnity don't do? We don't have our top blog actively promote a blog dedicated to block evading (while simultaneously blocking out all criticism) to grab full username screenshots of trans folks they want to witch hunt and put them next to hate anons from feds calling them shit like zipper tits in order to whip up their audience to either sent hate or to EXCLUDE THEM. Like actually patting themselves on the back that they got swaths of the community to denounce and exclude us. All while trying to claim it's not transmisoginistic because they're MAINLY targeting other transmen. You know. Those trans men who said "actually that's kinda fucked up. I'ma actually stand in solidarity with my sisters" who were immediately branded as traitors by them. DEFINITELY not an attempt to separate us from the few allies we have while simultaneously telling those in your community "THIS is what happens if you stand against us!"

They don't "joke" about their group chat of Transandrophobia truthers that have been called transmisoginsts so many times that they see calling themselves that as an inside joke signalling each other to swarms posts about transmisoginy.

They don't purposely form insular communities where the only transfems allowed are those who sign at the gate they agree to every single say and they have social clout within that circle for organizing it. They don't try to USE said clout to try and redefine the TERF for these people in a way that would give them the position to call transfems TERFs (which they themselves admit to being a former member of).

And they don't try to discredit and not read arguments from the other side by screenshoting their bios to see if there's anything that they can point out that in their opinion shouldn't be listened to in the first place from "oh she's a white uwu cat girl" to "oh she's a bi lesbian". For all of the hand wringing that the trans andro crowd goes on about how "everyone listens to trans women over trans men and we just get ignored" they CERTAINLY don't have ANY interest in actually listening to trans women. There are no attempts at appeals to our arguments. No "I can see why trans women feel this way and I want to acknowledge their oppression while still advocating for mine" just "oh so you just hate trans men". No attempts at actual UNDERSTANDING trans women who feel hurt by their actions.

Your telling me the crowd who so ADAMANTLY opposed the terms transmisoginy and tme/tma in the first place. Who viewed every post of transfems complaining about the intracommunity oppression they felt as a personal attack on them. Your telling me these people should be given the benefit of the doubt when they try to argue for their own term which is DEFINITELY not reactionary to transmisoginy.

Your going to tell me the crowd that has convinced themselves that they are in a subculture war against transfems have their hearts in the right place and are trying to bring the community together when they are actively working to exclude transfems and their allies from the queer community?

Yall should find FUCKING APPALLING these people who've only ever acted like exclusionary bullies about their politics take a term that was supposed to be a rallying cry for trans people and turn it into the "so much for the tolerant left" but for the queer community, to demand all of the patience and consideration in the world while giving none. I don't even have to argue against their theory. Their actions speak louder than words.

[gacha-incels]

My current theory is that ( Puts tinfoil hat )  The ongoing gender war stuff in both CN and KR have definitely shifted how some 'waifu-collectors' see the female player base and therefore male characters in gacha games. There's definitely an ongoing narrative that women are the root of toxicity and more devs should adopt the waifu-only policy to appeal to as few women as possible and gatekeep their safe havens. The irony is that most of these people advocating to exclude women are using the vocal minority for their examples as to why, which is exactly what they don't want done to themselves. Basically, women should only play Love and Deepspace and men can play GFL2/AL/Snowbreak/Nikke etc. As long as women 'stay in their lane' they are satisfied, even though it's been shown that both men and women will pull for characters of the opposite gender and vice versa. Mixed cast games are trying to err on the side of caution because if they don't appeal to this crowd enough (by skewing the gender ratio harder, or by making more fanservice designs) then they will be brigaded on social media for appealing too much towards women or radical feminists.

omg yeah I feel like “gamer” men say this outright around the world from east to west. “women are coming into our games and making the women less sexy and everything more toxic” etc. attitude has ramped up. though it was always bad if you remember, in the west at least, the absolute insane violent tantrum reaction to Anita Sarkeesian for making like I cannot stress this enough just pretty basic feminist videos about video games. It was like seeing grown adult men have the same type of screaming tantrum a toddler would have when you tell him he can’t have an expensive toy at the store. except instead of one kid sitting on the floor screaming it was an unbelievable amount of men worldwide sitting in their computer chairs screaming and writing graphic rape threats and making full video games where you violently beat her. For the crime of just one woman talking about fucking Mario or whatever. THIS is how these men react when you do something as benign as that. I posted some more about this here.

you have no idea the insane shit that gets blamed on female fans or female employees of mixed sex gachas. A lot of that has been already posted here obviously so I’ll post something new I saw just so we can archive some more examples. Recently one of my friends from the infrared blog I sometimes repost here showed me this strange phenomenon happening on the Genshin impact leaks subreddit where a good amount of guys were accusing the developers of the game of being fujoshis because they thought a new female water character was being nerfed so that a previously released male water character would be the strongest water character. I thought this was a joke (my mistake) but it spanned a LOT of comments and got extremely heated. Later I found these comments in another thread there

Like this is the thought process. This sucked -> ok so probably a woman wrote it -> well most writers graduated from liberal arts schools, and most liberal arts students are women, so it was definitely a female writer. This is how easy it is for this type of “gamer” male to blame anything they hate on women. They did this for one of the stories in HSR that was disliked as well. If you look up “有男不玩” there are videos on bilibili but also some on YouTube where you can get snippets of how these guys are thinking about female gacha players. They share some similarities with all gamer men who think women are more frivolous, unskilled and don’t like action games. there were particular comments that reminded me of how Korean incels wrote about women, in that games should stop pandering to us altogether because we don’t have enough money, or if we do have money it’s because it’s coming from a boyfriend or male relative, or we’re all just playing f2p. ironically a huge amount of merch sales, IRL events and fan-PR like fanart comes from female players and they are usually the ones to stick around the longest I believe, but these guys only understand the money aspect of these games.

There are a lot of ones that were interesting but I don’t want to use too many since I was working with MTL, and then looking up individual phrases, and then retranslating some, and then looking up context, etc. lol. so when I have a better grasp on this I can make a better post.

in regards to how they find it ok if the games are sex segregated yes exactly,I posted about this earlier and probably a couple months ago too but this was most recent so it’s easiest to just copy here

[whatdoyoumeanitsnotawesome]

i took notes while i watched this episode of Shoresy (s04e04 Good and Weird)

the ad read is a parallel of the Lakers opening from e02 Blueberry Buddies, but it’s just not as funny as the truck ad spot from s03. and it’s focused on the annoying parts of acting; the rereads, the micro-direction, the insincerity. plus there’s the reminder that Shoresy’s no longer part of the team, but he’s still there, clinging on by his fingernails. it’s a little depressing.

the Alex Trebek mural fuckin’ slaps just as much irl

Waffle chorin’ for Laura Mohr is super cute and reinforces his ‘i want to make your life easier’ declaration from s2. he’s doing it not to get into her pants, but because he wants to take care of her. the work is the reward in itself.

[nerd voice] kangaroo court has its antecedents in pirate culture, actually 🤓

playground-ass logic. the boys big timed us so we tattled. everyone falling into the trap of which wrong is worse. the sluts were in the wrong first, but ‘you retaliate, ya go for two, it’s the first thing they teach you in hockey’

Shoresy repeatedly cropdusting Michaels as the judge is so fucking childish and disrespectful and hilarious

‘it’s more than just a crush’ little on the nose, there, Kees. the Buddies are really taking a backseat this episode apart from establishing that Jackson’s into Maria Mercier, who is five years his senior.

Mercedes and Ziigwan have catastrophic, world-ending sexual chemistry. they should bang about it.

again hammering on Michaels getting no respect. he is annoying tho. like, i’m tempted to give him a wedgie and stuff him into a locker.

Dolo looks like he’s cosplaying, Goody looks ready for Pride, and Hitch looks like he’s ready to ride bitch on another man’s roadhog.

Shoresy coming in clutch with the suit, even if that tie is way too skinny

Shoresy is the driver and chief engineer of the ‘Disrespect Mark Michaels’ train, but it’s almost like he’s learnt something from the proceedings of the Kangaroo Court /s

‘you’re shifting into a different kind of leader’ bang on. why Shoresy doesn’t just trust& listen to Nat is beyond me. he’s so resistant to her in this series, i wonder if there’s some lingering resentment/anger towards her for not letting him play in the semifinal.

Waffle’s dissociating in the limo. he can’t get into party mode; if there’s no Laura, there’s no reason to celebrate. tbh i’m not sure he ever really cared about Weird Sudbury, it seemed like way more of a thing for Hitch, Goody, & Dolo than for Shore. the additional factor of Michaels being specifically excluded parallels the Jims getting big-timed and the proceedings of the Kangaroo Court.

Shoresy is allergic to sincere compliments like, ‘good teammate’, ‘good person’, but also he still hates Michaels as a person. i get it. lying to Michaels about why he’s not going is petty, but it’s v in character

the prospect party is kinda a letdown? it wasn’t actually esoteric at all, and Goody, Dolo, and Hitch being the only men there is just boring. like, i’ve been to weirder house parties for murder mystery dinner theatre.

the Jims are uncomfortable carrying out their sentence to fib. the girls think they’re cute.

the girls are gonna bang the Jims

[ceasarslegion]

ok now I want to know about hickory and Caroline

You are doing some cocomelon war flashbacks shit to me

So, I'm going to break this up into two sections, because both stories are very long. Hickory is someone who can just go to hell, but Caroline actually started as someone I was really close to and served as a mentor figure for only for her to backstab me so, choose which one to read first based on that.

Hickory:

Hickory was one of the founding members of our half life rp group. She was a 16 year old trans girl at the time who unfortunately played one of the best character concepts for an OC. We had to sacrifice Gerald who lived in the Black Mesa walls for this. Hickory was also uh... well, she was what terfs and sex negative people think trans women and kinksters are, to be frank. To prove that I am NOT fucking with you, I will be providing some screenshots that I just gathered from the members who were around when that went down.

Hickory started out as a socially awkward teenager who didn't really know how to talk to us. Which like, that's fine. She was 16, trans, and it was the middle of the covid lockdowns. Understandable, I guess. Except when she started getting extremely inappropriate extremely quickly with the adults in the server.

In the very first week, after meeting each other outside of our characters, we were talking about our dogs and the topic of leashes and collars came up, I don't remember how, but it was completely innocent. Hickory decided to run in with this:

(Nothing happened with that deleted user, it's just an old account from one of the other members)

She ended up double and then tripling down on this, and despite all of us asking her to stop, kept going until she started calling her boyfriend "master." We had JUST met, and this was in the general channel, and she was 16. We all told her to stop a lot more aggressively, and then she slinked away acting like we were just being sex-negative prudes who hated transfem sexuality. Worth noting that deleted user up there is also a trans woman herself and everyone else responding to Hickory is also some flavour of trans.

I was in class when this happened, and backread at work because I worked front desk night shift security at the time and had nothing better to do. I ended up extending an olive branch her way in DMs by giving her the benefit of the doubt and going "hey, I know it's awkward when you're coming into a sexuality that others deem abnormal, and you're desperate to connect with others like you when you're 16, but this isn't the way to go about it. There's much more healthy resources out there about sex ed for kinksters and age-appropriate ways to ask and talk about it, and I'd be happy to pass them on to you if you want."

She uh. She bit my head off.

GIRL WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT...

She continued to hop into the server to randomly tell us about her sexcapades in the open general chat, and then would retreat to the vent channels screaming and crying about how we hated her and wanted her dead and just hated trans women when we asked her to stop. Eventually, we started ignoring her entirely and letting her freak out in her tantrum hole, upon which she would throw another tantrum on top of the other one about how we all hated her and excluded her on purpose.

We have a rule in our server about how the vent channel is not your therapist, and to keep it to things you just want some comfort for. That rule exists because of what Hickory started doing next.

She started treating it like a suicide hotline.

Like, she would tell us all in detail about her plans to off herself and how much she wanted to do it, and then when we gave her actual advice to go to therapy or call AN ACTUAL HOTLINE, she would scream at us about how we all hated her and didn't support her living "the way she chose to," which was, honest to god, tradwife and suicidal. No matter what we did or said, if we weren't total yes men who said she should do it, she considered us ontological enemies. So we all started ignoring her when she did that too. And then she started screaming and crying about how we wanted her to die after all.

My favourite was when she pulled this trick about how HER BOYFRIEND ABUSED AND CHEATED ON HER AFTER SHE TOLD ME "I WANT TO BE ABUSED"

Eventually, we started ignoring her every time she spoke, no matter what it was about.

And then she pulled this, and my now-boyfriend, and life partner, whom I now live with, sent this back

and Hickory left the server instantly. My boyfriend straight up killed her. Sniped her from orbit. She tried to complain to the woman who was "deleted user" up there, and she told her to fuck off and that she brought this on herself. There is some insane irony behind the fact that the other trans woman in the group was the one who first officially said "do you guys wanna cut that bitch off entirely" and we all said "PLEASE GOD CAN WE"

Caroline:

Caroline was a 15 year old lesbian from a hyper-religious evangelical ultra-conservative family in Idaho, who played our Gordon Freeman and glados at the time. When I say her family was crazy, I mean that she was 15 and totally homeschooled and didn't know what basic human anatomy was. I mean that she was 15 and her dad didn't let her play half life 1 because "it was too violent," and her youth pastor protested against Disney+ for "turning kids gay."

Being a teenage lesbian in this environment was not great for her, and she started off as a kid who was confused and hurt. I ended up taking her under my wing because no one else in her life would, and SOMEONE had to give her proper education that wasn't seeped in christian bullshit. And hey, I worked nights, I could give her the time in between my rounds and camera checks.

So I spent many nights unpacking and unraveling the cult personality that had been instilled in her from birth. Giving her sources outside of the church and picking apart her original sin complex piece by piece, while directing her to actual sex ed resources about how her body worked tailored to lesbians and answering all her questions as best as I could in an age-appropriate way.

This was our relationship for over a year. And this is why I will never take on a mentorship role like that again unless nobody else can do it and they REALLY need it.

She did what a lot of cult survivors do when they accept that their reality is a lie: she pivoted hard in the opposite direction. She wasn't really sure what she believed anymore, or if she believed in a god at all. That was fine, but it was concerning when she started doubling down on things like being anti-evolution, despite claiming that she wanted to be a scientist. She had a phase where she was completely anti-religion at the same time as this so, kind of a scrambled egg brain worldview.

She made a lot of progress over a long period of time. She started by telling me she "didn't want me to go to hell" when I said I was an atheist and then started to backtrack on that statement. She also started by claiming that "god made you female for a reason" and then backtracked on that later on too.

She even convinced her parents to let her go to in-person school with other kids. It was a religious school, but it was a start.

And then her favourite teacher was fired. Conveniently after telling her students in bumfuck nowhere conservative christian Idaho that queer people belonged in heaven.

And then all hell broke loose.

She completely backtracked on all the progress she had made and doubled back down on the cult she was raised in, going full on "I suffer from same-sex attraction" and "if you don't stop slandering god by saying 'jesus christ' around me, im going to block you."

This did not go well in a server full of queers and minorities.

I was the one who initially confronted her about her recent behavior shift because I was the one who had this mentorship role in her life so I thought it was my responsibility to yank her back on the tracks. She responded by bastardizing what I had taught her about setting boundaries with her parents and finding her own paths and beliefs in life by sending us all an essay about how we were suddenly disrespecting her boundaries by pointing out her regressive behavior after all the progress she had made, and then left our group chat with no warning before we could respond. My boyfriend was extremely pissed off about her talking to me that way and ended up DMing her telling her to get her head out of her ass and learn what boundaries actually are.

She went dark.

And then started talking in the main server as if none of this ever happened.

Me, being the person I am, confronted her about that by telling the others what happened and how she can't just act like nothing ever happened with the people she claimed were her friends, who she had claimed helped her so much over the time we knew her.

She blew up on everyone, yelled about how we were all god-haters who were gonna burn in hell, and we all blocked her, banned her from the server, and broke all her emergency join links.

Rome wasn't built in a day, but it did fall in a day, eh?

She then proceeded to make this tantrummy-ass post on one of her rp blogs where she twisted the whole situation to make it look like she was some white knight standing up for what was right against the wave of satanic atheists oooohh~!

awww, did we huwt yow feewings?

In response to her shit, I bought God is Not Great the next day and her characters were snatched up by the others within hours. And she was an absolutely dogshit writer to be frank so we don't really miss her. Rping with her felt like talking to yourself with her single-sentence responses to huge paragraphs.

[transmascpetewentz]

I really want to know, why does it bother you so much that there are cis gay men in the world who do not want to have sex with afab people? it triggers your dysphoria and makes you feel bad, I gather that much, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t entitled to their sexual boundaries.

especially when there are countless posts made by gay people that are talking about same sex attraction that get dog piled by trans people feeling excluded, when they just are inherently excluded from some peoples sexual attraction.

gender and sex are different yes? and sexuality is based on sex. this seems to be something we disagree on. trans men are men, they have the right to live as themselves and transition, but they are still trans. not everyone is going to be sexually attracted to them, or have them included in their sexuality, especially people who are single sex attracted. I want to know what’s transphobic about this.

your crusade to get cis people to accept any genitals in a partner is actively driving a wedge in the lgbt community, I would like to understand your perspective beyond “this makes my dysphoric, I feel excluded, therefore I will create the term TEHM and make these people into villains on tumblr.com”

I ask this out of curiosity, I am interested to hear what your takes are in one place since it’s hard to find your whole POV across multiple posts. We don’t agree and probably won’t ever agree, but I hope you can see where I’m coming from and I hope I can do the same for you.

I was going to delete this ask, but this is the most politely that one of you has come into my inbox. I don't have the energy to write up anything that long about the subject but I'll try my best.

As I have stated many, many times, I don't care if an individual cis gay man doesn't date or fuck trans men. I really don't. The problem arises when cis gay men claim that they cannot be attracted to trans men, or that their supposed lack of attraction to us makes us any less male or any less gay.

A cis gay man making a blanket statement about never wanting to date/fuck a trans man in specific is like an allistic person loudly proclaiming that they would never date/fuck an autistic person, or a white person saying they would never be with a POC. While their individual choices don't matter, their "preferences" reveal that they are bigots.

"Trans men are men" is incompatible with the idea that gay men cannot be attracted to us. Hell, I'm a gay man, and I love my fellow trans men. If a gay man truly sees trans men as men, he will have the capacity to be attracted to us. The idea that sexuality is based on sex can be easily debunked by many examples of cis gay men dating and fucking trans men, as well as the fact that we have documented evidence of so-called "I'm only attracted to biological males!!!" type of men unknowingly fucking stealth trans men.

Now onto my more important point, the issue with TEHMs is not that they embarrass themselves by making a huge display about how they're so obsessed with hating boypussy, but that they try to claim that their own lack of attraction to trans men means that we should not be included in gay male spaces.

Not every cis gay man is going to be included in the attraction of every other cis gay man, but we don't see fem4fem cis gays claiming that masc cis gays don't belong in our spaces, do we? But because trans men are treated like shit even by other queer people, no one comes to defend us.

And as for posts that talk about "same sex attraction" being dogpiled by trans people, yeah, they deserved that. Gay trans men and transfem lesbians experience homophobia, and the vast majority of experiences that TEHMs call "SSA experiences" apply to us. Gay trans men are a very diverse group of people with very different experiences and daily lives from each other.

I also did not coin "TEHM." It was coined in 2017 by another Tumblr user who I don't remember the username of.

And before you go "but what about cis gay men who are trans allies who just aren't attracted to them 🥺" and to that I say, please show me someone. I have yet to meet a cis gay man who claims to have a genital preference or who says he would never fuck boypussy, who is also a trans ally. They all end up going mask off immediately. And so many of them try and make their subconscious biases that make them believe trans men are unattractive my problem.

It's true that we probably won't ever agree on this, especially if you're cis. If you're trans, I wish you the best of luck overcoming your internalized transphobia, and my blog will be waiting for you when that time comes. You seem to misunderstand the problem that I and other gay trans men have with TEHMs, and it comes from the bias that we're just entitled women who want to fuck gay men.

Obviously, when a gay trans man calls out bigotry, he can't ever have a point 🙄 it must just be someone refusing to play along with his fetish! (sarcasm)