#who hates his own kind

[hinamie]

I don't want to regret the way I lived

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The indescribable tension between an overworked and underpaid smut writer, and his biggest fan hater.

(for @frummpets)

[teh-inggris]

pvp civ nation...... this aint much but pls take my contribution for this series bc im going insane i love hate this man so much get him out of my head

[s0fter-sin]

soap's whole deal being sniper and demolitions gets me going bc on the surface they sound so different but when you get into it, you realise it's bc soap's smart

sniping is all math; calculating distances and wind interference and bullet drop. something i think people overlook is he was listed as a sniper first so it can be implied that he's better at it than demolitions. he does more sniping in both campaigns than demolitions work; in capture or kill, ghost specifically calls on him to take down the aq snipers

and demolitions is math with a hit of chemistry; knowing what mixes with what, knowing how much to use, recognising environmental factors and adjusting accordingly. it's not just about the boom; so much work goes into contained/ planned explosions. especially when having enough power for a breacher charge and not bringing down the whole building is the difference between mission success and failure

the chemical bombs he makes in alone can't just be any old cleaners, they have to have the correct reaction to each other; he just knew off the top of his head what would mix with what to create what reaction. he would also potentially have to recognise them by sight/smell bc they would’ve been written in spanish

soap would also have to know architecture; recognising structural integrity and weak points so he knows exactly where to plant a charge to bring it down and how it'll come down

he has an incredible soldier's mind people just forget that bc he's sociable which itself is a skill

we know he tends to buck against orders he doesn't agree with like when he pushes back against ghost in capture or kill and shepherd when he tells them to release hassan

he gets closer to people and sees if he can trust them and that's when he follows them without question. really think about how he talks to alejandro and rudy; he asks about their home and alejandro's family and rudy's relationship with him. those aren't questions you ask a stranger after a few hours of knowing them. that's not even touching on his relationship with ghost

he also deliberately brings people of higher ranks down to his level; talking informally with ghost and giving him a shoulder punch, addressing alejandro (a colonel!!) by his first name and rudy by his nickname despite literally just meeting them. he personalises all of them and it’s in direct opposition to the reason most characters do that; it’s not due to insubordination or lack of respect, the more he respects and trusts someone, the more casual he is with them

he digs into people; he wants to know what makes them tick and that determines if he can one, trust them and two, follow their orders. once he decides that, he's the ultimate soldier; he bleeds loyalty which makes him vicious when that loyalty is taken for granted

he isn't naive or bubbly or insecure; he's an incredibly smart and aware soldier. he's aggressive and bloodthirsty and loyal and intuitive and i love him so much

[tea-cat-arts]

You know what, I've read enough fanfic. I'm confiscating Madame Yu from you guys

Free my girl- she did the things she's being accused of, but not as frequently or severely as the fandom pretends, her actions are being taken out of context, and her depth is being reduced to that of a Colleen Hoover antagonist

[healercharm]

everyone give it up for the most special guy in the universe: VEGITO!!!!!

[peachyutdr]

i finished it, was kicked out of the game, and then spent the next 10 minutes drawing this. i will now go take a shower, most likely cry, and then go through the emotional turmoil of convincing myself to reset so i can do a geno run. i hate it here :D

[justaz]

like i’ve said time and time again, i haven’t watched bbc merlin in years but i was just wondering when the first time merlin called arthur by his name to his face and im scrolling thru the transcripts on the fandom wiki (supposedly it was s1ep4 btw) and im skimming the script for all these episodes and getting angrier and angrier. gaius was wrong for all that. morgana deserved so much better. edwin muirden was valid as hell (for targeting uther AND gaius. yeah. i said it.). also kilgharrah ate with that one lil line “then turn a blind eye. that is, after all, your talent” okay lizard brain pop offff.

[theheirofthesharingan]

“Tell me, father, which to ask forgiveness for: what I am, or what I’m not?

Tell me, mother, which should I regret: what I became, or what I didn’t?”

- source

[distort-opia]

oo do you have examples of issues that very clearly show jokers avoidant attachment style? I would guess on some level the ending of death of the family?

Well, I said that both him and Bruce rather fit the disorganized attachment style, which is also known as fearful-avoidant-- but Bruce has more "fearful", Joker has more "avoidant".

Bruce, despite all his misgivings, has multiple long-term meaningful relationships. But in Joker's case... intimacy and affection are simply out of the question. Humanity is out of the question, like in the example you've given with Death of the Family. The only person we know for sure he cares about is Bruce, and even in Bruce's case he wildly fluctuates between declaring undying love and genuinely trying to murder him out of spite and resentment. The second closest person to him would be Harley Quinn, and I do think on some level he cared about her, but his relationship with her was manipulative and abusive-- and he tried to kill her too. All of his relationships, outside of the one with Batman, are shallow, and it's because he keeps them shallow. People are something to kill, use, or make fun of, not persons to connect with. If there's any sign of emotion, Joker considers it a weakness. Caring gets you broken above a vat of acid at ACE Chemical factory, with a bat from hell scaring you into committing suicide.

Though I don't think Joker started out so avoidant, much like Bruce... who also started out as something else. Personally I see Bruce as having had an anxious/fearful attachment style prior to his parents' death. But then the loss pushed him into avoidance, and ultimately resulted in him displaying a disorganized or fearful-avoidant attachment style as an adult. Joker might've been fearful-avoidant to begin with, if we go by the likeliest background for him: growing up with abusive parents, then living in orphanages and foster homes, etc. Even the one interaction (remembered reliably or unreliably) with Jeannie in The Killing Joke points to a fearful-avoidant attachment:

Batman: The Killing Joke

He's blowing up at Jeannie, projecting his own self-hatred on her, and then immediately swings into begging for forgiveness. In the end, the core thing about disorganized attachment is... instability. Growing up, the child does not feel like their caregiver is reliable, there to provide food or shelter or the most basic emotional validation. Parents who fluctuate between moments of love and affection and moments of violence and abuse teach their children that love is a minefield. One wrong step, and the landmine blows-- and you never know what sets it off, so you wildly overcompensate or avoid. And Jack acts more like this towards Jeannie: he explodes with anger, gets scared she'll react badly, and then begs for forgiveness. It's also clear that he thinks his value is based in what he can provide. If he doesn't have anything to give Jeannie, will she still love him?

But where Jack was more classically fearful-avoidant, Joker is a lot more avoidant. Even though his life-defining trauma happened as an adult, it profoundly affected his view on the world. As Joker, he still has a need for connection (otherwise we wouldn't have Batjokes)-- but he also hates it and is actively trying to snuff it out. It's a bit ironic that essentially, only with Bruce is where the fearful/anxious part of his attachment style still comes out. Just like with Jeannie in that example, we constantly see him go between "It's your fault I became a monster! I hate your guts and I want you dead!" and "I do all this because I love you! I'm the only one who understands you! Please don't leave me!"

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Kiss Kiss Fallen Tree!

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[sergle]

I love to hear what people say about Youtube Drama* but it's SO tacky when it gets so offbase that the posts people make start to be about completely off topic infighting within the Watcher fanbase

[itsdefinitely]

i wanna know more about the jerries/jeris

do you want to know the most horrific thing about them?

the lords did nothing to make them the way they are.

yes, the jerry jr was turned into the axeman because of the witchwood, which does what it does because of the lords, but everything leading up to that is just human nature. i see the "girl jeri is nibbly" or "they were influenced by a lord to do the thngs they do" and i need people to understand that that's just. not true. they're just like that. they were taught to be like that by their parents and, more accurately, their church. it's horrifyingly accurate how religion has shaped them into non-functional human beings, who would rather potentially lose their child to the many, many dangers of the literal woods than admit that they had sex outside of marriage.

it's only because it's hatchetfield that jerry jr grew the way he did. there was no lord's intervention in their decision to keep the baby, or to drop out of school to care for him, or to keep him seperated from any other people, or to revolve their lives around the idea that they'd committed a sin and needed to pay by pushing celibacy rather than. i don't know. properly raising their child. it was the way they were taught. the toxic pushing of overexaggerated christian ideals is what molded them. can you imagine being in their place? being a scared teenager and knowing that if you told any of the people you care about most your secret that they would shun you and disown you?

the only people they felt any kind of safe around were each other; of course they're going to be codependent. and even then, they're disgusted by each other for leading them to sin. they're stuck together unwillingly, because without the other, they're alone.

[grayintogreen]

Respectfully, but a character can be and SHOULD BE allowed to be more than one thing without it being considered "contradictory", "retconning," or "negative character development."

[serpentface]

Hibrides and Brakul having the world’s saddest booze-fueled girl’s night, probably a few months before the start of the story.

Anyway here's an extensive rundown of their shared history.

Hibrides Uryashta was the eldest daughter of a chancellor of the imperial city-state of Erubinnos (his lordship Erub Uryashta). She was brought up with great privilege and security, but (like most daughters of noblemen) was destined to be used as a bargaining chip in a political marriage arrangement. She was taken from her friends and family and moved to the city of Wardin at the age of 16 to complete her pledged marriage with Janeys Haidamane, the failson of the trade magnate Haidamane family. Janeys spent about a week poorly attempting to behave like a husband, and then took the first excuse to flee and engage in a petty military campaign against raiders on the Yellowtail trade route. She found herself left alone in his villa for three years with only hired servants for company. She made a few attempts to break into the city's elite social scene, but was quite shy and failed to make any headway.

Brakul had just spent a year and a half in a bit of a whirlwind. He was brought into a skirmish at the behest of an allied clan, who had been raiding the Yellowtail route and now was under attack by combined forces of an enemy clan and Imperial Wardi mercenaries. He killed one of the mercenary commanders and was captured as a prisoner of war, but was spared at Janeys' behest (who fucking hated that guy thought it was awesome that he got killed with a rock) and was ultimately recruited into the group. He had a chance to go back home, but actively chose to deadbeat dad out on his wife and child to be with his newfound lovequest, Janeys. He spent a year and a half as a mercenary, bonded closely with Janeys and swore brotherhood with him, and was eventually brought home to the city of Wardin with him. He found himself in the odd position of being simultaneously scorned as a foreigner and 'heathen', and the legal kin of one of the richest families in the city (and effectively the secret male concubine of their only male heir).

It was in this context that the two of them met, with Hibrides now being 19 and Brakul turning 27.

The two were initially wary of each other (Hibrides was particularly put off by his 'heathen' status) but bonded very quickly, partly due to their mutual states of being unmoored from their old lives, but in large part being just a natural chemistry. They had a lot of common interests and enjoyed learning from each other. Hibrides introduced him to traditional verse poetry (of which she was very fond). Brakul taught her how to ride khait, and even gave her a gelding from his own collection as a gift. They became very close friends over the next couple of years and spent much of their free time together.

A big part of the dynamic was that both of them are gay in a cultural context where there is no concept of Being gay, marriages are usually arranged and always between a man and a woman, and having children is a societal expectation. Each of them began to see the other as an ideal husband/wife, ie "if I had to marry why couldn't it have been him/her?". For Hibrides' part, Brakul had all the traits she would want in a husband: he was a pretty good friend and easy to get along with, he seemed like he'd do an excellent job of fulfilling expected roles as a husband and father (she didn't know about the wife and kid for a while), he treated her as an equal, and, most of all, had no interest whatsoever in fucking her. They were both in a sort of platonic emotional affair, and grew to love each other deeply.

Hibrides was pretty quick to catch on that something was going on between Brakul and Janeys, and found it strange and offputting but ultimately none of her concern. Her husband only being interested in his sworn brother and leaving her to her own devices suited Hibrides just fine, and Brakul always just kinda being There meant she was living with what had become her closest friend.

The stable state of this Feelings Triangle began to change in the wake of the brilliant plan to get Janeys (gay) (probably infertile) children he could pass off as legitimate via a Brakul/Hibrides pregnancy. It was something all three agreed to as a necessity; it was already drawing scrutiny that Janeys and Hibrides had been married for several years without a pregnancy, and producing heirs is a societal expectation and a central point of an arranged marriage between wealthy elites.

It was especially critical in this case, given Janeys was his family's only male child and only hope of continuing the family line, given both his golden-child sister Faiza and black sheep half sister Couya were Odonii, and thus sworn virgins and would never marry. (There's also a level to this that Janeys was regarded as a complete disappointment by his parents, and his mother made damn sure he knew that his only value at this point was to produce a better male heir to inherit the business. So this was a big fucking deal to him, and to Brakul by extension).

This was also not a route any of them wanted to take on any personal level, least of all Hibrides. She consented to the pregnancy and everything it entailed, but it was inevitably a painful and distressing experience all around. She had never wanted to be a mother to begin with (though had long accepted it as an inevitability), and now found herself with an infant daughter, which only meant it would have to happen again (they needed a male heir after all). And it would be utter social suicide and a profound shame upon her if the child's illegitimacy was discovered, which only added to the stress.

To make things worse, her first pregnancy shifted the entire dynamic with her husband and brother-in-law/best friend. Janeys changed from completely indifferent to actively spiteful and hostile towards her, and things had become extremely uncomfortable between Hibrides and Brakul. It only got worse with Brakul (the only one of them who actually WANTS kids) (kind of haunted by skipping out on his first child) finding it unbearable to be so close to HIS daughter and having to keep up an act that she was not his own, having no direct role in the kids life. He desperately wanted to be a father.

Hibrides, who was going through a fucking lot, started to become vindictive towards him for his role in things. She resented him more than Janeys, because Brakul insisted he cared about her and would desperately try to pretend things were normal, while consistently siding with Janeys against her wishes, including in preventing her from getting a divorce. (His excuse is that the children's legitimacy would be interrogated in a legal setting, which Is likely and Would be absolute social suicide with very real consequences. But the real reason on his part is that if she got out of the marriage, he might never see her or the children again). Hibrides began to do everything in her power to prevent him from having any relationship with his bastard children, even in secret or under the guise of a relative. Sort of an “if I have to suffer to keep up this facade so should you” thing.

They had two children in a span of three years, two girls (ruh roh!) named Erubi and Livya. By this point, Hibrides and Brakul were both experiencing what we would now call Clinical Depression and Alcohol Use Disorder (especially in the latter's case). Hibrides started to have affairs with both men and women, which she was sure to be very obvious about to insult Janeys and Brakul, but was mostly out of loneliness. Brakul turned his complete focus to Janeys and started avoiding Hibrides entirely, in hopes that she would become desperate enough to be willing to make amends (shockingly, this did not happen, and the rift only deepened).

In the present, their relationship status is: fucked. Both of them do still love each other on some level, but this is probably beyond repair. What little time they've spent with each other in the past year is sitting around being miserable and getting plastered. And now Hibrides, Janeys, and Brakul are all forced into the public eye on the pilgrimage together, and with a third child on the way. So that's probably going to be everyone's problem.

[moonlit-orchid]

Inspired by this post to write about my spin on the Superbat love square. This is all before they know each other's true identities.

Clark/Superman- has the hugest crush on Bruce Wayne.

Batman/Bruce- in love with Superman.

Clark and Bruce- get along very well. Clark is so obviously in love, he's blushing, he's stammering, he's awkward, he's just a mess. Bruce thinks Clark is just Like That (and to be fair, Clark is awkward and shy) and does not pick up on the very clear crush at all. Clark is very much the kid that used to be picked on and Bruce knows this, so he just assumes Clark's all nervous and... Clark-y because he isn't used to friends. Bruce himself while not used to having genuine friends knows how to be a friend and navigate social situations with grace, so he geniunely thinks Clark's awkwardness and blushing is Clark not being used to friendship. Bruce also does really and truly care about Clark, and he's very protective of him, and he sees him as a very good friend.

Batman and Superman- Oh dear god NO. These men have the worst chemistry possible. Superman is trying his best, okay, he's is trying to be patient and nice to Batman. But Batman. Will not even give him a chance. It's the most uncomfortable tension ever. Why? Because Batman is a tsundere who can't process being in love with Superman especially as Batman.

Batman and Clark- it's... Interesting, to say the least. Clark doesn't like Batman very much because of how Batman treats him as Superman, however Batman/Bruce does care about Clark. So while Clark is guarded and polite to Batman, Batman tries to soften the batman persona with Clark. Clark does pick on the fact that Batman is actually decent to him when he isn't superman, and does realise that Batman specifically doesn't like Superman (and from his perspective it really seems that way because Batman does cover up his crush very well. He just turns into an asshole in the process).

Bruce and Superman- Now, this is the one where they have the most natural chemistry and clearly obviously have feelings for each other. Bruce is in love with Superman (not Clark) and Superman/Clark is in love with Bruce (not Batman). And as Bruce his feelings for Superman are much more obvious, just from the way he looks at him. And Superman also lights up when he sees Bruce. If Superman saves Bruce, you can believe he's gonna carry him bridal style and hold him for longer than he has to and Bruce is gonna call Superman a hero - "his" hero. Of course, Bruce has the added guilt of how he treats Superman as Batman, but as Bruce he doesn't feel like he needs to hide it (mind you, he isn't even sure who is the real "him" anymore, so you can add Bruce/Batman having an Identity crisis into this love square too /hj) and he can't seem to push superman away in that state either. He can almost pretend he's just Bruce, and this is Superman, and everything's okay, when he knows, and only he, that it's not and that he's actually an awful person. Superman does not know this. He just knows that Bruce Wayne is the most brilliant, wonderful person he knows and that he's head over heels for him, and as Superman he has the confidence to show that a little more, to not stammer but to flatter and charm Bruce the way Bruce charms him.