#who did she love and was unable to save
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I keep thinking of how all Harbingers' stories that we know are about love in some way, not lack of love, but it didn't save anyone.
Rosalyne couldn't bring back Rostam no matter how strong her feelings for him were.
Almost everyone who met Scaramouche loved him, and yet he still ended up believing the only person who didn't.
Childe adores his family and they clearly love him back, they are probably the only thing that keeps him somewhat human. Does it help? Not much.
Sandrone, whoever she used to be (we know the story, just not who she was in that story) was born out of the unbearable emptiness that Mary-Ann left.
Maybe the Cryo Archon is just a god of love who understands that love is rarely enough.
#this really makes me wonder about arlecchino#who did she love and was unable to save#childe#tartaglia#sandrone#finding sandrone#scaramouche#that woman#fatui#fatui harbingers#tsaritsa
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got the most diabolical idea while thinking of some dialogue and like
yeah, mal being long-buried is all fun and games and creates a lot of delicious situations for those who were close to her but
i'd be lying if i said that the idea of bringing her back wasn't floating around in my head and then..
would it be cool or what if i did find a way to bring her back into the story but then immediately derailed the malstarion hype train by breaking them up or?
#the bg3 adventures#oc: maleane#i'm having a lot of thoughts and feelings#and like.. i really enjoy characters who come from the dead just kind.. not being the same? like..#unable to just pick up where they left off and return to 'normal' like nah#experiences like that shake you up and yaknow.. they're traumatic#i think if i did revive her somehow she would be left with a lot to untangle#especially IF she'd POSSIBLY (MAYBE) find out that the man who she thought loved her... the man she desperately tried to save as she died#he didn't want/was reluctant to bring her back??? ?? ? would that be something or?
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thinking ob lb2 again and i'm still so sad that it was messed up so badly when the initial themes were really great
like skadis & odin's (which skadis 2nd interlude elaborates on) selfish love, wanting the world and beings they love to continue living even if it's a cruel existence for them. the way you can compare it to surtrs selfish feelings he has for ophelia, or the love sigurd and brynhild have for one another
skadi & ortlinde being unable to understand their loved ones decisions until it's practically too late. the inability of ophelia, skadi and ortlinde to actually take action until it's much too late. napoleon serving as a symbol of hope in that regard, the rainbow finally spurring ophelia into action.
the from lostbalt manga scene of ophelia admitting that she truly had different wishes in life than where she ended up, apologising for not doing better. skadi grieving over this, over ophelia, as a mother who is in the exact same spot of being unable to leave the duty that was placed on her.
lb2 had potential man, skadi's character has so much potential. it just pisses me off that both the game and fandom reduce her to moe scathach when there's so much that could've been done with her character
#'why do they keep apologising skadis murders but not the other lostbelt kings' mostly because it's not them apologising it#it's skadi constantly grueving the fact that she did#her entire character consists of having played sitting ducks and having wanted to save the humans odin entrusted her with#but being unable to find any way to do so besides what she ended up doing#interlude 2 she literally asks why odin didn't kill her too#the difference between her and the other lb kings is that her direct goal was preserving the humans odin entrusted her with#she's not a ruler in the sense the other lb kings are#and their intentions differ#morgan only wanted to save brotain#*britain#qsh wanted to preserve their immortality and eternal rule#they loved the humans but if they were educated they wouldve posed a threat to that#junao was left deeply traumatized and derived from his humanity striving for a perfect world devoid of flaws#etc etc etc#skadi is the one who is set apart because her goal wasn't just preserving the world#but actually saving the humans she genuinely loved#and yet the only method she found was by slowly killing them#sitting duck game as said#that's what the focus constantly is skadi genuinely lived the humans and wanted a different option#and grieves the fact that those she loved in that world all in the end have died except for her#and the valkyries#look i agree her character can be absolute trash#i hate the 'moe scathach bit'#but my girl actually does have potential#her interludes are great#lb2 couldve been great#had the themes been actually written out well#fgo#not-so-dead-salmon#she was my first 5star i got her in fuyuki ok so i have an attachment to her
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When I was getting my associates degree I took a Mythology class that I loved. But one of the girls in class was absolutely off the rails conservative Christian which made things⊠interesting.
The professor started off the class by being like, âMythology is stories associated with religion.â
This girl. Haaaated that. She was like, âNo, Christianity is true. Itâs not mythology.â Mythology was delivered in the same tone as someone trying to spit excrement from their mouth.
The professor raised her eyebrows and said laconically, âYes, most people believe their religion is the real one, thatâs part of it, and the stories surrounding religion are referred to as mythology.â
The girl stewed in a hateful sullen rage. I truly donât understand why she didnât drop the class but perhaps it was court mandated education. We all expected her to drop the class but she dug in like a tick and derailed discussions as often as she could.
On a different occasion the professor was drawing a comparison between social constructs like gender. The girl raised her hand. The class hushed to hear her announce, âItâs just a fact that women like domestic work and even though men are awful and stinky we just have to love them anyway. Itâs biology, weâre just hardwired like that.â
I was sitting next to my friend a baby gay Jewish girl and our eyes met in mutual hilarity while the professor tried to pretend she hadnât just been stricken with a stress induced migraine while she steered the class away from that landmine.
The next sticking point was a week later when the professor informed us that many mythologies have overlapping events like floods but these didnât necessarily happen in such literal terms. It was a metaphorical way to process and understand the world.
This girls hand shot up. I watched the professor exercise extreme self control to keep her expression bland before calling on her.
âThe world did flood. And Noah saved all the animals. Before the flood all the water was in a dome outside the earth and then the dome broke and the world flooded. All of it.â
The whole class stared at her as if struggling to comprehend the overlap of her acceptance that the world was round while also firmly believing that there had previously been a barrier that held up all of the earths water before god smashed it in a fit of pique.
She raged under the attention, glaring balefully at our astonished faces.
The professor stared at her blankly, unable to form words to such a bizarre belief. I wanted to ask clarifying questions- what theyâd drunk before the dome broke, if there were rivers or lakes prior, or did the dome allow some rain in somehow, but then I really looked at her.
She had the eyes of a feral, cornered animal who regarded any deviation in worldview from her own to be a physical assault on her person. Like the professor, I said nothing, and after a wretchedly long pause class moved on.
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this panel from the world guide of falin being surrounded by other girls while laios is all alone kills me because. that's it. that's the key difference in their journeys.
as laios states himself, he left the village in order to create a home for him and falin elsewhere. a home that won't collapse due to others' hatred and fears like their old home did, a home where they are loved and accepted unconditionally. but as he soon found out, even before earning money, or having walls surrounding him and a roof above his head- what he so earnestly desired was to meet other people who will accept him for who he is as well. instead, he kept being tormented by those around him, shunned and sneered at. his loneliness quickly became all-consuming until he truly had nothing left except for the monsters in the pages of his book, but even that became a target of mockery and destroyed. that's why ever since the day he left the village, he never felt that he truly made the right choice. so he kept running away: unable to resist and unable to accpet.
and an ocean away from him there was his sister, who never managed to fully fit in herself. but unlike him, she met a person who became a home to her and learned what a true friendship was for the first time in her life. and laios clearly realizes that too when he finally sees falin and marcille together, he can tell his sister obtained the greatest treasure there is on her own- the exact thing he never managed to find anywhere himself, thus coming back empty-handed to the sister he left the village for.
but when you read this part of the manga, laios's focus is on falin's loneliness, not his own. he talks about how it hurts thinking about all those moments she had to spend alone because he wasn't there for her, so it almost sounds like he's the one who couldn't bear her suffering and therefore decided to not let her go again. but we do get a glimpse of their first meeting after that almost-decade long separation in the manga, and then we see more of that in the world guide and daydream hour- and it becomes abundantly clear that it was falin who was trying to protect and save him from this pit of loneliness and depression he was in.
so instead of just doing his best to atone for leaving her behind in the village and making sure she is never lonely again, it might also be that laios was desperately clinging to the one person in the world he felt that accepted and loved him unconditionally. those words he used to describe his motivation to stay by falin's side are the exact words she would've used as well; she couldn't bear leaving him behind in this state. in a sense, they were each other's shackles.
but then she did. she died for him and their friends, and ironically enough, it was by leaving him alone like this that he was finally able to stand on his own and put his full trust in others. to have the courage to reveal who he is and give others the opportunity to accept him after such a long time of hiding. it was a long journey, but his hiding finally came to an end when he faced the others after shedding his monster form. and i love that the person who was falin's "home" all those years away from laios, marcille, became just as meaningful to him during their time separated from falin- the first one to find him and show him that he isn't alone anymore. just as he did for her.
so at the end of the story when falin talks about all the places she would like to go, it's not just that she wants to pursue her own dreams- but that she actually feels free to do so and go anywhere she desires. and one of the main reasons for that is that her brother finally found new people he wants to be with; his own home.
#im listening to fmab sad soundtrack while writing this im gonna die actually#dungeon meshi#laios touden#falin touden
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Jealousy Endeavor. °ââ.àłàż*ââââàšà§ââââ°ââ.àłàż*
Rafe Cameron had always known you were special.Â
From the moment you two met, he could see the spark in your eyesâthe kind that made you stand out from the rest. You were his precious girl, his princess, and every time you smiled, he couldn't help but feel like he had the world in his hands.Â
But you werenât the jealous type. At least, you hardly ever were. It wasnât like you to feel threatened by someone else; after all, you knew you were Rafeâs girl, the one who owned his heart completely.Â
Still, today was different.Â
It all started at the country club. You were with Sarah, Topper, and Kelce, lounging by the couches when Rafe suddenly mentioned he was going to grab a drink from Sofia. Now, you knew Sofiaâeveryone did. But that wasnât the issue. The problem was the way Rafe said her name, so casual, so familiar. It made something inside you tighten.
As Rafe strolled over to the bar, your eyes followed him, narrowing slightly when you saw Sofia flash him a smile that lingered just a little too long for your liking. Rafe returned it with that charming grin of his, and suddenly, your mood soured. You werenât usually like this. Rafe was yours; you knew that. But seeing Sofia so close to him, so comfortable around him -Â
"You okay?" Sarah asked, her voice light but concerned.
You plastered on a smile that didnât quite reach your eyes. "Of course. Why wouldnât I be?" you replied, your tone a bit sharper than intended. Sarah gave you a knowing look but didnât press further.
Minutes passed, and Rafe was still at the bar. You watched as Sofia leaned over, saying something that made Rafe laugh. It wasnât a big deal, you told yourself. She was just doing her job, being friendly with the customers. But your mind wouldnât let it go. What could be taking so long?Â
Your pout only grew more and more, and by the time Rafe finally came back with the drinks, you were in full-on sulk mode.
âHere you go, princess,â Rafe said, handing you your pink drink, completely oblivious to your  mood. He leaned in to kiss your cheek, but you turned your head slightly, making him miss.
Rafe paused, his brow furrowing as he looked at you. âWhatâs wrong?â
âNothing,â you replied, your voice clipped as you took the drink, not even looking at him.
Rafe wasnât convinced. âYou sure about that?â He tilted his head, trying to catch your gaze, but you stubbornly avoided it, staring off into the distance with a pout.
Kelce snickered from his lounge chair. âDude, youâre in trouble,â he teased, earning a light smack from Sarah.
âShut up, Kelce,â she whispered, though she couldnât help but smile at the exchange.
Rafe crouched down beside you, placing a gentle hand on your knee.Â
"Talk to me, baby,â he coaxed softly, his voice dripping with that tenderness he saved just for you.
You finally looked at him, your eyes narrowing slightly, "You looked like you were having a great time over there.â
Rafeâs lips twitched as he fought back a smile. He knew better than to laugh when you were like this. âYouâre jealous,â he teased, his voice low and playful.
âI am not jealous!â you snapped, though the heat in your cheeks suggested otherwise.
Rafe chuckled, unable to resist anymore. He loved this side of you, even if it drove him crazy sometimes.Â
âDonât get jealous,â he murmured, leaning in closer. âYou own my heart. Itâs fucking yours, baby. Iâm all yours.â
You bit your lip, the frustration slowly fading away as you melted under his gaze. You hated how easily he could do that to you, but you also loved it. âYou better be,â you mumbled, still pouting but less convincingly now.
Rafe smiled, knowing he had you. He brushed his lips against your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. âAlways, princess. Only you.â
You sighed, finally letting your pout slip away as you leaned into him, feeling the tension leave your body as Rafeâs arms wrapped around you. He pressed a kiss to your temple, holding you close, making you feel like the most important person in the world. And you wereâat least, to him.
Sarah and Topper exchanged glances, smirking at the sight. âTheyâre like an old married couple,â Topper joked, earning a chuckle from Kelce.
âYeah, but theyâre perfect for each other,â Sarah added with a smile, watching as Rafe kissed your forehead, murmuring sweet nothings that only you could hear.
And just like that, everything was perfect again.Â
à©â©â§âËàŒșâàŒ»*à©â©â§âËà©â©â§âËàŒșâàŒ»*à©â©â§âË
As Carrie Bradshaw would say : And just like that heres my second blurb about RafeđȘ
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron imagine#rafe outer banks#rafe x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe obx#outerbanks rafe#outer banks#obx#kook reader
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show and tell
masterlist
dark!wandanat x reader. sub!wanda, dom!natasha, dom-turned-sub!reader
word count: 2.2k
warnings: cheating, dubcon, undiscussed voyeurism, exhibitionism, size kink, strap on sex (r giving and recieving), mentions of tribbing, praise, degrading, gun play, threats of violence, rough sex, begging, masturbation
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âToo muchâŠy/n- baby,â Wanda panted helplessly. Despite the words she was hardly able to speak, her legs tightened their hold on you whilst you pushed your newest toy deeper. The Sokovian whined as her back arched off of her King sized bed and her fingers clawed into your back.Â
  You grinned, gazing down at the beautiful view you had created. âAll that power yet you canât take a few extra inches,â you remarked. âAnd there I thought this poor neglected pussy would be desperate for it after being left alone for so long,â you continued, drawing your hips back only to thrust in further. She was so close to taking it all, she just needed some extra encouragement.Â
  âPlease,â she uttered, eyes connecting with your own the way they always did. She was so influenced with lust she was practically at your mercy, so you filled her to the brim with a grunt. âFuck!â Wanda hissed, nerves ablaze. You felt her slick against your thighs when your pelvises pressed together and acknowledged the signal she was ready.Â
  You fucked Wanda like it was the last time youâd do it, because that was always in question. She had an unpredictable life and her marriage was even more so. As though the absence of planning wasnât challenging enough, the fact that Wanda was married to the worldâs best spy (and assassin) was constantly looming over you.Â
  âI bet she never makes you feel this way,â you said, watching Wandaâs blissed features as she moaned breathlessly. She looked insatiable when you had her like that, cheeks flushed, hair messed, pupils blown. All from your actions. âYou like when I fuck you with this big cock?â You questioned with a smirk, as though you couldnât hear how wet she was.Â
  âI love it,â she cried out, mind frayed. âSo good.â She just couldn't help herself. Neither could you.Â
  âBetter than her?â She met your cocky grin with a mere flash of hesitation before the carefree smile returned.Â
  âSo competitive,â a voice behind you mused. Your recognition was instant and you didnât even turn around when you made to scramble out of the bed. You didnât get the chance. With a distressed whine, Wandaâs magic entangled with your frame and pulled you flush against her until the strap was buried to the hilt once more.Â
  âWanda,â you gasped, unsure if she had heard her wife come in. âLet go,â you hissed as you heard the widowâs boots thud across the floor. Wanda didnât oblige and instead began to move your hips for you to resume her pleasure.Â
  âStop that,â Natasha demanded and you stilled, unable to escape. âShe was just saying how I could never make you feel this way, so by all means, let her go ahead,â she told her wife, gliding her cold fingertips over your hips and pushed you down. You registered Wandaâs hitch at the action.Â
  âPlease, I-â you tried but the spy wasnât interested.Â
  âShut the fuck up.â You knew better than to argue with the Russian, especially once she rounded the bed to kiss her wife tenderly.Â
  âWelcome home,â Wanda greeted, still very flushed to her wifeâs amusement. You eyed the pair warrily, your heart hammering against your chest so hard you felt your ribs bruise. It almost stopped short when Natashaâs glaze turned cold and locked in on you.Â
  âFuck her,â she ordered. You didnât dare object but had to tear your eyes away as you dutifully began to thrust into the woman beneath you. You focused on Wandaâs sweet noises of pleasure in an attempt to forget your fear, but it was difficult with Natashaâs stalking behind you again.Â
  âSo youâre the one whoâs been fucking my wife while I was saving the world,â she commented casually. âSuch a big strap on you too,â Natasha continued as she watched the soaked toy leave Wandaâs pussy only to be driven back in. âDoes it make you feel tough to use this on her? How would you feel if I used this nasty cock on you?â You felt Wanda clench around you at her words.Â
  âIâm sorry!â You tried again, imagining all of the different weapons that she could be carrying on her.Â
  âYouâre sorry you were caught,â she corrected. âIf you make my wife cum I might consider letting you leave here with all of your limbs,â she considered, delivering a hard smack to your ass. You jolted forwards and heard Wanda cry out, falling into the rhythm Natasha pushed you into in a desperate attempt to please them both. It wasnât hard, you had fucked Wanda countless times before, but you momentarily regretting bringing such a large toy to use under pressure. Still, it didnât seem to be an issue for the Sokovian who gasped into your shoulder, peering at her wife with a knowing glint. Unknowingly to you, Natasha winked back with the same smirk she had stripped you of.Â
  âŃŃ Ń
ĐŸŃĐŸŃĐŸ ŃĐ”Đ±Ń ŃŃĐČŃŃĐČŃĐ”ŃŃ, ĐŽĐŸŃĐŸĐłĐ°Ń?â You frowned at the Russianâs words, knowing they were directed at Wanda but still feeling like you should know what they say.Â
  âWha-â you turned to question Natasha only to be met with the barrel of her handgun pointed at your head. You instantly cowered away but knew that even if you had tried to leap out of the bed again, it was pointless against the assassin.Â
  âŃĐ°Đș Ń
ĐŸŃĐŸŃĐŸ!â Wanda answered, entirely unphased by the weapon she happened to be in the firing range of. Natasha hummed, seemingly pleased with her partnerâs response.
  âIâm not gonna hurt you,â she told you pitifully. âAs long as you do what you came here to do.â You figured there wasnât much point protesting any longer, so you turned back to the woman beneath you and tried to pin all of your focus on her as you usually wouldn't without prompt. Even with a gun pointed at your head, you couldnât stop admiring how much Wanda looked like some tainted angel that had succumbed to her desires.Â
  âDonât stop,â she called to you. She was breathless, desperate and despite her partnerâs looming presence, entirely under your influence. You fucked Wanda relentlessly, just the way you knew she went crazy for until it became hard for you not to grow smug at the sounds you were drawing from her infront of her wife. Soon, the gun became a lingering thought and Wanda returned to the forefront of your mind as she had a habit of doing.Â
  âIâm gonna cum,â she announced as your hips slapped against her own. You felt the tension in the room rise accordingly but didnât let it affect you as you drove your fake cock into Wandaâs pussy harder.Â
  âThatâs it, fuck,â you encouraged, feeling the harness rub against you with every thrust that Wanda tried to meet. She dug her nails into your back as she came, soaking the toy that she clung to with such might that you had a challenge fucking her through her high. You rocked your hips against her as you coaxed her through her orgasm and felt yourself become impossibly wetter. Her slick was running down both your thighs and you wanted nothing more than to throw the harness off and rub your cunt against her ruined one. Perhaps you might have if it werenât for the eyes on the both of you.Â
  You grinned down at Wanda, your arrogance gradually making its way back until Natasha cut it short by dragging the harness off from your waist, as though she could read your mind. For a moment, you really did wonder if she was going to have you do what you were thinking of, until you noticed her tightening the harness to her own hips with practised ease. Somehow, seeing it on the widow made the strap look bigger.Â
  You snapped your head back to Wanda when she began to shuffle herself out from under you and up towards the headboard that she rested against with heavy eyes. You made to follow until the barrel of the gun was pressed into the centre of your back and you were forced back down into the mattress with a grunt.Â
  âYou think weâre done?â Natasha scoffed. âWhat do you think, detka?â You peered up at Wanda with wide eyes only to see her fingers had returned to the space between her legs that was still red and leaking. The mischievous glint in her eyes was one you didnât trust one bit. Your instincts were right.Â
  âMake her take it,â the Sokovian husked.Â
  âĐșĐ°Đș ŃĐșажДŃŃ,â Natasha replied simply, tossing the unnecessary gun to the side so that she could place both hands on you waist and lift your ass into the air.Â
  âWait,â you tried, knowing how large the toy was and how tight the fit would be. It was rare that you were on the receiving end so you were sure you werenât ready for such a toy. At least you had worked Wanda up to it. Her wife didnât seem to care because barely a second passed until you felt the head nudge at your exposed pussy. You could show your fear as much as you wanted, but you all heard the sound of the toy against your wetness. You whined into the bed, accepting you were made.Â
  âI bet you wanted this from the start,â Natasha mused, pushing the toy past your reluctant entrance. You held the sheets in a death grip and cried out into the mattress at the immediate stretch. âYou just need to be put in your place. Made to feel like the bitch you are,â she spat, pushing inch after inch into your dripping pussy without any consideration.Â
  âPlease!â You wailed inaudibly, needing a moment to adjust to the intrusion. Apparently you hadnât earned that yet, because Natasha forced the rest of the toy in with a low groan that was overshadowed by your pleas of protest. It felt like you were being split apart, walls stretched to accommodate the cock you had such a thrill using just minutes prior. Needless to say, that power had been stripped.Â
  âWhat happened, tough guy? Is it too much?â The Russian laughed. You registered Wandaâs breathy moans picking up again. âToo bad.â She drew her hips back only to slam them back into you along with every inch of the toy. You whined, high in your throat, and tried to close your legs but Natasha held them firmly apart. âNo, no. Take it all. Itâs only fair,â she pointed out, slamming herself against you.Â
  The pain was prominent and stubborn, enhanced with every sharp thrust into your cunt that was soaked beyond belief, and you were powerless against it. Your slick only served to allow Natasha to fuck you as hard as she wished as your walls obediently parted for her to reach your depths in ways you had never felt. With that, the pleasure was finally able to peek through the haze of pain.Â
  âSuch a fucking whore letting me use you like this,â Natasha hissed but you hardly registered her over your burning sensations. She grabbed ahold of your hair and hauled your head up enough for your neck to ache and forced you to stare at her blissed out wife who sat pleasuring herself at your defeat. âYou like being turned into a brainless fucktoy?â She asked. You didnât respond as you looked at Wanda, knowing it would counteract with everything you had ever uttered to her but the harsh slap to your ass rid you of that final secret.Â
  âYes,â you whimpered. At the confession, Wanda fingered herself harder though it was clearly nothing compared to what her wife had you subject to.Â
  Natashaâs thrusts were harsh, deliberately pushing as far inside you as she possibly could each time to make you bask in how large the toy was and how much it filled you up. You were stretched out perfectly around the toy, reshaped to take it as much as Natasha pleased. She was cruel, etching the words of âslutâ and âdumbâ into your mind as she ruined you in every sense of the word.Â
  âI know youâre getting close, youâre clenching around me like a desperate bitch in heat,â Natasha told you, feuling Wandaâs arousal.Â
  âMake her cum, make her know how good it feels,â the Sokovian called. Natasha huffed.
  âYouâre lucky sheâs here,â she muttered, clearly having planned on leaving you hanging despite the ruthlessness of the way she pounded into you.Â
  Your moans grew along with Wandaâs and a matter of moments later, you were cumming around the unforgiving cock as hard as she had, pushing your own face into the bed to avoid meeting her eye in your moment of complete helplessness. You pushed back against Natasha as you came, desperate to have as much of her inside of you to cling to as your mind went blank. Your chest heaved and the world went quiet as your orgasm rushed through you. It was so much. Too much, all at once.Â
  Once the intense waves finally finished crashing over you, you felt a pair of hands lift you up and place you on another body. You couldn't place either of them, too frazzled to tax your brain with the task, but you appreciated the warmth regardless and didn't fight it when a red haze clouded your mind and pulled you into a state of measured unconsciousness.
#dark!marvel#natasha romanoff#marvel#natasha romanoff x reader#black widow#natasha x reader#gxg marvel#dark!fic#dark!natasha x reader#dark!natasha romanoff#dark!wanda maximoff#wanda maximoff imagine#wandanat#wanda maximoff smut#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maximoff#natasha romanoff smut#natasha romanoff imagines
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HELP ALAA ACHIEVE âŹ6,000 IN THE NEXT 2 DAYS!
THIS IS URGENT! Please have a look at this fundraiser. It belongs to Alaa Amsee ( @alaakh99 ) who is a loving mother to two beautiful children named Maria and Hamza.Â
Alaa has had her tumblr account terminated for the SECOND TIME, resulting in her being unable to continue her efforts to campaign for herself and her children at a VERY crucial time. It should infuriate you to see this happen, especially in light of the recent smear campaign against palestinian gfms. We can assume now that many of the Palestinian blogs have been deactivated, because of baseless reports of being scams.  Â
THE LAST DONATION CAME IN 23 HOURS AGO. PRIOR TO THAT, SOME DONATIONS CAME IN 2 DAYS AGO!!
We CANNOT let this fundraiser be stagnant. Alaa and her two children are suffering from hepatitis, and malnutrition. Their lives are on the line and they need medical care ASAP!Â
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Her life wasn't always like this! Before October 7, Alaa led a peaceful life with her family which consisted of her children, husband, in-laws and immediate family, but soon the nightmare began and came to a head on October 28, when her neighborhood got bombed in its entirety.Â
Alaa escaped certain death that night as her house collapsed and trapped her family in. Debris choked them all, and they had to be rescued from under the rubble and shattered glass. Alaa describes what she witnessed that night as "unimaginable"- death, corpses and blood, surrounded the family.Â
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Even after this tragedy, the pain did not let up and chased them to the Rimal neighborhood. The bombing continued and Alaa had to put wet masks on Maria and Hamza, so that the children could endure the terrible smoke and burning smell. Things got so bad throughout the next few months that Hamza who is only 3 years old, now talks only of bombings, rockets and tanks.Â
I want to remind you that Maria, Alaa's little daughter, has contracted hepatitis after being displaced for the third time, where they had to flee to Rafah. Being overcrowded, one can only access shared bathrooms which are primary causes of such viral infections. The children have suffered from epidemics and skin diseases, and the little tent Alaa has managed to acquire can barely sustain life in summer heatÂ
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On top of that, there is hardly any nutritious food and clean drinking water- which means that at one point, the family had to survive on weeds and bread made from animal feed. I cannot tell you how horrible this is! How Alaa and her children still suffer even now. In fact, at the moment of writing this post, Alaa messaged me about her tent shaking due to bombings nearby.Â
So I urge you not to ignore her, please, and help her reach her short term goal of 6K within the next 2 days !!
Her fundraiser has been up since May and has only reached âŹ4543 which is a little above 4% of her end goal! Please donate and share! I also request you to follow Alaa ( @alaakh99 ) and help her save her children from this genocide!
( verified by 90-ghost )
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A ladyâs pleasure
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Jacaerys Valeryon x fem!reader
Summary: For Jace Sex was always just duty. Get naked, be careful but quick and produce an heir. But when Aegon once again provokes him by saying his nephew was unable to please his wife it bothered him. Perhaps his uncle was right? It never occurred to him to please you or himself for that matter. Now heâs determined to learn.
Warnings: husband!jace x wife!reader, nipple play, hair pulling, oral (f receiving), fingering
Please let me know if I missed anything
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âYou must certainly know how to make your lovely wife feel good. After all you are the crown prince, Jacaerys Valeryon. You must have her quivering and singing underneath you.â
âAegon, stop it at once!â Alicent Hightower urged her oldest son with a firm voice.
âWith what reason? Should he feel as if I am mocking him then it could only be because I am false. Am I false, nephew?â
Jace could only stare and listen to his uncle making cruel jokes right in his face. His hands were angrily balled into fists but he remained silence.
Denying Aegon the pleasure of starting a fight about his performance in the bedroom in front of their family and worse you.
You stayed just as quiet and unreadable as he himself did and for an unknown reason it made Jace feel insecure. Did he know how to make his wife feel good? How to please her needs? Or even his own?
For him the act of it was only ever a way of making a family and producing heirs. Participating in its activity purely out of desire never occurred to him for many reasons.
For once he was terribly afraid of fathering any bastard children since he very much knew how it could feel like.
Besides he saw in Aegon how the needless pleasures and suspensions of its houses could turn a man into a beast.
But he was also an unwanted participant of a conversation between his mother and ser Harwin Strong when he was a child and realised how incredibly unfair it was for women to be the only gender having to save themselves.
For those reasons and others he kept to himself. Besides he rarely felt the need to anyway.
âJacaerys, my apologies. I sincerely hope, you are not taking any of his unfounded claims to heart. You must be aware of how he can getâ she looked away from him and at her son instead âwhen he is drowning in his cups.â she now angrily frowned.
Jace only sighed. âDo not worry. You might remember that I grew up around his nagging. Therefore I am quite used to this behaviour of his.â
-
Later when the young prince and his family arrived back at Dragonstone he accompanied you to your chambers.
âSee me tonight, my prince? I am in no mood to sleep alone these days.â You whispered, putting your hands on his face in a comforting manner.
It was rather obvious that you felt quite compassionate towards him after such an exhausting feast.
Jace smiled lightly and nodded. He felt grateful for having you. And if you were honest you were very grateful for having him as well.
âLet me quickly inform my mother and the guards about my presence in your chambers for the night and once itâs done and I am ready for bed time I will be with you, my lady.â
You bit your lower lip at the tingling feeling in your stomach. He had a way of making you feel like this.
âAnd stop addressing me as your prince, please. I am not saying I do not enjoy it or that it is not true, I am only reminding you that you are not obligated to refer to me in such formalities. Call me your husband or by my birth name.â
You girlishly giggled. âBut you are addressing me as your lady as well, my prince.â No matter how many times he reminded you of this you simply liked teasing him.
âThese two are not the same at all to me. But I shall refer to you differently if you wish it.â He smiled.
âYes please, I wish it. And I will wait for you tonight, husband.â
-
Jace took a deep breath as he entered the throne room and found who he was looking for. His motherâs husband and his great uncle.
âDaemon.â He called across the room.
âJacaerys. What brings you here at this late hour?â
The young man came to a halt his face turning a bright red giving his intent right away. Daemon still awaited for Rhaenyras son to voice it.
âI am here about the matters I was soâ he swallowed thickly ârudely tormented about this afternoon.â
âBoy, do not let it get to your head. You are more a man than Alicents son could ever be. Both of then in fact.â Daemon was quick to push Jaces pride.
âI appreciate the compliment. But I have to admit that I fear my uncle might have had a point. Though I do not desire to be anything like him I have to admit I donât know much aboutâ he paused âa womans body.â
âSo you came to me to ask for advice on these affairs?â
âI am afraid so.â
-
You were comfortably sitting in your bed waiting for your husband in the light of your many candles while reading a book about Aegon the conqueror and his sisters.
He was taking suspiciously long for simply informing his guards about his stay at your chambers but you let him be since even a gentleman like your husband was were allowed to have a wounded pride.
You carefully manoeuvred your body out of the huge bed which was nice and warm but felt a little lonely by yourself.
Your night gown was of a light blue and thin which was not an unconscious decision. You liked to be a little cold at night so you had a reason to ask for your husbandâs embrace.
You carefully approached the big door of your room. You only wanted to peak. Maybe you could spot him coming for you down the hallway.
And just as you reached for the handle of your wooden door it opened and you were met with the dark brown eyes of your husband.
âJacaerys~â you let out.
âMy loveâ he whispered âI am terribly sorry to had you waiting for me too long. There were some urgent issues I had to discuss with Prince Daemon.â
This new nickname send shivers down your spine and for a second you could only stare at him before regaining confidence.
âIt is quite alright. Come on in. I have warmed the bed for us.â
You took his hand in yours and lead him to the bed. Once you were there both of you stood on opposite sides of it. You couldnât help but notice his staring. Especially of your upper region.
âAre you tired yet, my love?â He sheepishly asked.
âNot quite. Is there something you want to discuss with me, husband?â You innocently wondered resting your body with your hands on the bed and stretching your face in his direction, subconsciously biting your lips.
âFirst lesson, boy. Get her excited for it first.â
He only chuckled at that which made your stomach tingle again. âThe way youâre asking me is almost tempting, my love.â
He did the same as you pushing his face and upper body in your direction until you could feel his warm breath fan over your face.
For several minutes the two of you just looked at each other from opposite sides of your bed and even though you didnât say or do anything and he didnât either your breath heaved.
The silence got interrupted by his chuckling again and then he touched your cheek with his right hand.
âHave I ever told you how incredibly beautiful you are?â he whispered to your lips. And then, only lightly and almost unnoticeable, he bit it. Barely scraping your lower lip with his teeth.
Your breath hitched. âYou- you have. On our wedding night.â
âI remember. Almost two moons ago. I should have told you every single day since then and I shall tell you every single day from now on.â He pecked your cheek. âCome, my love. Lay down.â
You did as he asked you, crawling into the middle of the bed and lying down on your back. His stares burning in your skin.
This was so different from what you knew. So far you only ever got into bed, shared a kiss and did what had to be done.
Of course he was gentle and looked after your well being but it was still always quick and a little uncomfortable.
But this? This was exciting. This made you feel things. New things.
Once you were comfortable Jace climbed on top of you, settling between your legs.
He smiled at you brushing the strands of hair out of your face. âAre you alright?â
You brushed through his wild curls as well and muttered âof course.â
He leaned down to you his breath fanning your face once again. âGood. Tell me if anything changes.â
He leaned down to you and kissed you tenderly, his plush lips pressing against yours. Carefully you returned his gesture but he didnât stop there as usual.
Suddenly you could feel his tongue brushing over your lips which made you tremble and remove yourself from him. âWhat-â
He didnât let you finish. âDo you trust me, my love?â You quickly nodded your head.
âI shall lead you then. I have waisted far too many weeks keeping you dissatisfied. I plan on making up for my mistakes tonight.â He whispered to your ear.
âYou donât have to, dear husband. I am happy as is.â You whispered back.
âI most certainly have to. Let me do this please. I no longer desire to be mocked by my uncle and feel he is right. I shall have you quivering and singing underneath me.â
You couldnât help but whimper at that.
âSecond lesson. Worship her body. I mean kiss her, touch her, feel her up. Not only down under but everywhere. Even her tits. Especially her tits.â
âJacaerys~â
âCall me Jace, my love. Everybody does so.â He breathed down your throat and kissed the lobe of your ear.
He started to scatter kisses all over your shoulder and the bending of your neck as well, going lower and lower.
Driven by the desperate need to hold onto something your hands went up into his hair and slightly pulled at his unkempt curls.
Your body was now acting on its own needs and without realising you threw your head back and pushed your hips up against him.
As a reaction to the friction he received from your movement Jace unwillingly bit into the softness of your cleavage.
You let out a surprised hiss and pulled on his hair even harder.
You lightly pulled his head back until he was looking at you through lewd eyes. Your pupils were slightly dilated and your eyes blown wide with wanton which only made him grin boyishly.
âFuck. My apologies, my love. Seems like you will have to wear dresses with a rather high neckline for some time. I left quite the mark there.â he chuckled.
Your walls clamped, your slick gushing out. You had never before seen him like this let alone heard him swear so freely.
Without a second thought you pulled him down again and kissed his lips. Once again he was licking your lower lip but this time you didnât pull away,
Instead you opened your mouth granting him entry.
His tongue found yours quickly, circling and sucking it. It practically had you rolling your hips and this time Jace pushed back, accommodating his rhythm to yours until the two of you were mindlessly grinding against each other while your tongues were almost doing the same.
One of his hands was resting next to your head, holding your face while he held his weight up on his arm. The other hand was brushing your sensitive skin with his fingertips, sometimes tickling a little.
Until this hand finally had a purpose when it wandered straight to your breast. Your mounds were hardened, peaking through the thin layer of clothing
Jace tested the waters by only gingerly pinching one of them. When you broke the kiss to push your head back into the pillow and softly moan he immediately twisted and pinched a little harder which resulted in your eyes squinting and your hips stuttering.
Jace bit his swollen lip and groaned at the sight before him. How could he have possibly missed out on this up to now?
He let go of your breast and stopped his movements all together. Your eyes opened and when you saw him grinning down at you with a raised brow, you blushed and tried to look away.
But he didnât let you and instead used his now free hand to grab your chin and make you look at him.
His stare was stern and intense and you were struggling with holding it but you didnât look away this time.
âI would like to undress you now if that is okay with you.â he said while caressing your skin and hair.
You nodded. You always liked your husband, even back when he was only one of many suitors you long preferred him over anybody else but this night might just make you fall in love with him.
âYes, Jacaerys, it is more than okay for me.â
His hands let go of you as he sat up on his knees to balance himself and they now grabbed the inside of your thighs which made you gasp and close them.
You looked at him through apologetic eyes. âIâm sorry, my prince.â
He raised his brows. âDo not apologise or call me your prince. What is the matter, my love? It is not as if I have never touched or seen what hides between your thighs before.â
You blushed and looked away. âI know you have. But this- this is so⊠different-â you stuttered quietly.
âHow so?â he wondered and you just knew he was being ignorant. He knew, he only wanted you to tell him.
You whined, pouting a little and looking back at him through innocent eyes but when he did not budge you sighed.
âBecause this is more intense. More intimate.â your face was burning up so much you had no desire to know how you looked like right now.
For Jace on the other hand you looked really adorable right now. He chuckled, freeing you from your suffering. âI see. Shall I undress first then?â
You only nodded and looked him up and down which made you realise something you payed no attention to so far. He was still wearing what he wore to the feast.
âYouâre not wearing anything fitting for the bed.â you noticed, brushing over his tunic.
âI was not planning on wearing anything when I sleep over at your chambers tonight, my love.â
Your breath instantly hitched. He was panning for this?
Carefully you tucked at his tunic. âTake it off. Jace~ please.â
He only slowly started to unbuckle the belt around his waist, unbuttoning his tunic even slower.
You whined. âStop being a tease~ please.â
He smirked and got out of bed and up entirely brushing his tunic off his shoulders.
You sat up and stared at him through blown eyes. It was not as if you had never seen his body before but you had never mustered him so extensively.
His skin was tanned and his shoulders broad. His chest was beautifully shaped and there was a little line of hair going down to where his sex was.
Your eyes wandered up to his meeting his intense stare once again and it made a shiver run down your spine.
Jaces big hands went to his trousers and just as before he removed them tauntingly slow.
You whined again, this time louder. âI told you not to be a tease!â
Without another word he let his trousers fall to the ground and your eyes automatically shot down again. He was simply perfect.
It was standing up, touching Jaceâs stomach. Tip colored in a dark red color and leaking and it made you feel almost proud.
Naked and as the gods formed him Jace stood before your bed still staring down at your small frame.
Your legs were angled up, your knees touching your chest while you rested all of your weight on your palms.
âYou cannot tell me what to do or not do, dear wife. I am your husband after all.â He reminded you, getting your attention again and though you knew he didnât mean it, you frowned, feeling sorry.
Without another word he nakedly climbed on the bed, crawling towards you.
Once he was face to face with you smiled again as he did too.
âSo Iâ he kissed your forehead âcan only tell you what to do.â
Your eyes closed at the touch of his lips with your head. âWhat shall I do, my love?â you whispered, your hand touching his chest, caressing his defined muscles.
Jace groaned at you using this nickname as well and your touch and harshly pressed his lips against yours.
Again your hand went in his hair straight away, brushing it out of his face, clinging to it.
He moaned to your lips. âI love it when you do that. Keep your hands in my hair, love. Do not remove them, no matter what.â
âThird lesson. Use your tongue on her, boy. Eat her cunt like a man starved. Women do love that.â
Finally he took your night gown in his hands and pulled it over your head in a swift movement.
Without shame he starred at you, his hands squeezing your breast which made you whimper and lay back down.
âI should have appreciated your body much sooner. Only ever doing what was necessary. My poor, poor lady wife. Must have felt so frustrated and unsatisfied.â
He openly mocked you and all you could get out was a pathetic whimper.
âAll of it will end tonight.â he whispered in your ear, biting the lope.
Without realizing your thighs spread wider at his action and you pulled his hair. âJace~â
Jacaerys looked down at your legs, biting his lips and smirking at your subconscious reaction. âYou are the most perfect woman I have ever laid eyes upon. I dare even say the most perfect human.â
âJacaerys, please.â You pleadingly looked at him through blown eyes. âT-touch me.â
Your face became of a deep red color but you still held his intense stare. You couldnât quite believe what you had just asked of him. No woman of your class should ever beg for such lewd doings.
Or even desire them at all.
Jace could do nothing but chuckle at your embarrassed face and take it in his hand âWhere do you desire my touch the most, my love?â
âPerhapsâ he whispered âhere?â His thumb lightly brushed over your bottom lip.
âOr maybeâ his fingertips tickled your neck and down your shoulder to your hand âhere?â
Softly he took your hand in his.
And then suddenly not so soft anymore he pinned it over your head, down onto the mattress which made you yelp in shock.
âPerhaps you donât even want me to touch you with my hands at all? Would you rather I use my mouth, my love?â
Your eyebrows knitted and right when you wanted to ask him about the meaning behind his questions his mouth went straight down to your breast.
Your back arched when you gasped and tried to pull his head away with your hand that had remained in his hair.
âOh~â you sighed, having no other choice than finally relaxing at his touch when he didnât move away.
He licked and bit your mound, sometimes even sucking as if he were a babe.
Oddly enough it felt amazing and you couldnât stop arching into him and letting out shallow breaths.
âFuck~ so sensitive here, my love. Perhaps someday I could make you cum just by paying attention to your tits.â
You gasped at his vulgarity, it made you shiver and pull his head up to look at him. âFuck~ never stop pushing and pulling my hair.â
You giggled girlishly and brushed through his wild curls. âI would never.â
Quickly he got back to his work but this time switched sides, paying attention to your other mound until your loud breathing turned into whining from all the soreness.
Once again he switched sides, teasing and testing you and never touching down were you needed him most.
Not even when you started to push your hips up, desperately trying to get some friction. âJace~ enough, please. âm s-so sore.â
He detached himself and stared for a few seconds as if in awe, lightly biting it one last time, making you whimper.
Without another word he spread your legs as far as he could to comfortably settling between them and kissed his way from your stomach down.
Every once in a while he bit your skin which had you squirming in anticipation. He certainly knew how to take his time.
When he finally was eye level with your core, he didnât came to a halt and instead started to kiss down your inner thighs as well.
âJace~ my love, please. Please do not do this to me. You are being mean. I- I need your touch. Please.â
You panted, trying to pull him up by his hair, not caring about any decency anymore.
âSo impatient. Do you not want me to enjoy this as well as you?â He said, his hot breath hitting your wetness while talking, making you gasp.
You quickly nodded âYes, of course I want you to enjoy yourself.â
âVery well.â He mumbled, distracted by the sight in front of his eyes. âBut I wonât make you wait any longer.â
He sticked out his tongue, flattening it and then took a long lick up your cunt, now having eye contact with you.
âOh~ Gods~â you moaned, arching your back. âWhat-â
âI need you to relax, my love. I promise you will like it.â he murmured against your core. His hot breath making you shudder.
âI- I already liked it. It was only much of an sur- OHâ he experimentally sucked on your little bundle of nerves he so far had barely touched before, rudely interrupting you and making you yelp.
Your hand that was still im his hair gripped it tightly, making him groan in the process. The vibration of it got you to clench your thighs around his head.
âRespectfully. You talk too much.â he murmured once again. âSimply enjoy.â
You pathetically whimpered, not mustering any more than a nod. He could only smile at that.
He licked with his tongue again, circling your clitoris with it. Your breath fastened, free hand desperately searching for something to hold onto as well.
Silently Jace took it in his, squeezing lightly. He didnât part from your core though, still feasting on you as if you were his most favorite meal.
You imagined your slick to be smeared across his chin and lips by now and it made you embarrassed and excited all the same.
Suddenly grabbed your thighs, putting your legs on his shoulders, your feet touching his back. His hands now holding your hips.
Your again free hand went up, fisting the cover of the cushion. His tongue was now flicking your bud in a fast motion.
You couldnât help but stretch your lower half in the air, putting it right in his face. âJace~â
His name left your lips like a prayer. Whispered, moaned, whined and whimpered. Your eyes wandered down, meeting his intense stare.
And then one of his hands left your hip, brushing the inside of your thigh. While he was still sucking at you, two of his fingers were now prodding at your entrance.
You gasped âJacaerys- what-â but he again interrupted you this time by pushing his fingers in, your walls welcoming them.
âSo wet and warm. Tell me how you are feeling, my love.â He now parted from you, messily cleaning his face with the back of his other hand.
All the while his fingers were moving slowly in and out of you, making it hard to answer properly. âGood~ oh I~ I feel good.â
His previous cleaning was to no use when he simply chuckled and dived right back in getting back to work immediately.
It was as if he could not get enough of it.
âFourth lesson, the most important one, you cannot and will not enter her before she isnât as slick as a snail. Best if you have her finish at least once before you even attempt to your own pleasure.â
His fingers were moving at a rapid pace now, keeping a steady rhythm with his tongue, making you wonder if it wasnât tiring for his muscles.
But you couldnât really worry about that, your head being to full of Jace. His scent, his body against yours, his hair tingling your thighs.
Out of reflex you brushed it out of his face, his wild curls stickig to his forehead and neck.
Suddenly your entire body tightened when he hit a special spot inside of you. You moaned loudly âJace~ stop it.â
But he didnât. Instead he looked at you through thick lashes, fingers curling and massage said spot, mouth sucking.
âJacaerys. Please~ hahâ you were now trying to crawl away from him, his hand moving across your stomach, pinning your hip down as good as he could.
âI feel weird. Let us take a break OH GODSâ your legs practically suffocated him, squeezing his head. Again he did not stop, still looking at you.
You were wondering if perhaps he was searching for any actual discomfort on your part, because even though you were begging him to stop you also felt you might cry if he actually did.
A strange sensation was building up inside you, stomach tingling, muscles tightening and most importantly your core was almost itching.
It felt as if you needed to get rid of this itch, grinding up on him to soothe the feeling.
âYour cunt is clenching so much, I have trouble believing you want me to stop.â Jace whispered against your core.
You couldnât even answer, only violently shaking your head and welcoming the relieving feeling that washed over you.
You were whining so loud, you wondered if everyone could hear but you did not care. The only thing you cared about was him. Between your legs. Making you feel things you had never felt before.
And then it was all over. Your back arched one last time, thighs squeezing your husband incredibly tight. A wave of pleasure washing from your head down through your body to your tows.
Pretty much immediately it was all too much. His touch was now burning and you were practically pushing his head away.
âSâ too much.â You slurred. Your eyes were heavy, as was your breathing. Your legs now felt sore and weak.
Carefully Jace took them in his hands, removing them from his shoulders. He gently put them down on the mattress, coming up to you.
When he was eye level with you, he took in your figure. You seemed quite overwhelmed, one hand still very loose in his hair, which he also carefully removed, holding it in his hands.
Your other arm was hanging over your forehead and closed eyes. Your face was flushed and Jace couldnât help but grin.
âHow are you feeling, my love?â he whispered, pecking your lips. Weakly you returned his favor.
âQuite well I think.â you laughed breathlessly. âTank you.â
Jace could only chuckle at you for thanking him. âFeels good, does it not? Have I never had you do that before?â he asked, a frown adorning his face.
Your face was flushed, cheeks red and breath still heavy. âDo what?â
He shaked his head the tiniest bit almost unnoticeable. âFinish. Have I never had you finish before?â
âI- I am unsure of it. So far I was not told a woman could even do that, my love.â you admitted lowering your arm and looking at him âIs that offensive to you?â
âNo! Gods no. It should be to you. I have been ignoring your needs.â
âI was not aware I had those needs, Jace. Do not beat you up on it. I beg you.â You lifted your head up, looking in his saddened eyes.
âWhich was my fault. I should have introduced you to all the good sides of a marriage. I failed. My uncle-â
âYour uncle is a drunken fool.â You interrupted his doubting âI doubt he has ever done to any Lady what you have done for me tonight. He has a loud mouth, I believe most of his talk is untrue.â
One of your hands brushed through his hair, stroking his cheek while the other held your weight up.
âBesides I decide whether or not you are a good husband and I decide that you are. I am content, I am happy, Jacaerys, I am pleased.â
Slowly you got fully up, pushing him down by his chest, swinging a leg over him and putting your weight on his thighs.
âWhat exactly are you doing?â your husband wondered, his hands automatically grabbing your hips.
Without answering you took his sex in your hand and slowly stroked it. âOhh~ oh gods. What-â
âI am returning the favor, my love.â
#jacaerys velaryon#jacaerys valeryon x reader#jacaerys targaryen#hotd jacaerys#prince jacaerys#jacaerys x reader#jacaerys smut#hotd smut#hotd x reader#hotd imagine#smut#got smut
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I need people to stop getting so precious about Clark "not letting" Bruce kill the Joker after Jasonâs death post-Crisis. Everyone acts like it was like this:
But it was more:
So, we all know the story. Actually. Wait. Maybe we don't. So. The story beneath the cut.
Jason got benched as being Robin because he was not dealing well with his parents' deaths, felt like he was no longer wanted because he was adopted specifically to be Robin (and Bruce is shit at making his kids feel loved a lot of times). Jason discovered the woman who raised him was his step mother, not his bio mother. He goes looking for bio mom. Finds bio mom, she hugs him and tells him she's missed him so much, Bruce contemplates letting Jason live with his family if that would make him happier despite being obviously cut up about the idea of losing Jason. Bio mom is being extorted by the Joker to let him ship out Joker Venom disguised as medical supplies because he can't just steal the supplies and sell them. Bruce has to go stop the shipment of Joker Venom, his portable chopper is too small for two, so Jason is left behind. Jason is told to wait, but The Killing Joke just happened and his bio mom is alone with the Joker (who is insane, capricious and evil), so, obviously he has to save his mother and could not wait. Bio Mom is outside, no guards, Jason says, "Hey, I'm actually Robin, I'm here to save you from the Joker" and she says "Nah, he's actually gone, so I'm fine. But let's go inside so I can grab my things and we can leave." Her things turn out to be a gun to point at Jason after leading him to the Joker. Jason is too stunned to move. The Joker and his goons beat Jason up and then the Joker uses the crowbar to finish beating him to a presumed death. His bio mom at some point couldn't bear to watch it anymore and turns around to smoke a cigarette. Once Jokerâs done, bio mom asks what they're going to do about Batman, and the Joker is all "oh. Yeah, lol. Probably was a bad idea to kill his kid. Whoops. My bad." And then ties up the bio mom to kill her and erase any evidence he brutally attacked/killed Jason. The Joker sets a bomb on a timer and leaves. Jason uses the last of his strength to untie his bio mom so she can escape. He can't see well enough to try and disarm the bomb. She tries to get them both out. The door is locked. Jason shields her as the bomb goes off, but she dies just as Batman comes up and tells him the Joker did it, calls Jason a hero, says he deserved a better mother (he did) but does not/is unable to own up to her part in Jasonâs death before dying herself. Bruce finds Jasonâs body and is fucking devastated.
So after that, Bruce chases the Joker down to the UN because the Joker lucked into being a diplomat for Iran and is now meeting at the UN assembly in New York. Bruce is 100% set on doing a premeditated murder of the Joker for Jason. The US government is aware of this. They hire Superman to grab Batman to try and talk him down because the Joker has diplomatic immunity for past crimes. It does not go well.
"Thatâs the law, not Justice." Batman is 100% still going to kill the Joker. Everyone knows. Superman knows. Superman says the stupid thing is putting vengeance above the interests of the country, not killing Joker.
Batman sneaks into the Jokerâs room, and the Joker (forgetting his earlier desire to not get fucking killed by Batman) is like "oh man, I wish I could have seen your face when you found his body" and further needles Bruce with a "Or are you here to thank me for getting rid of him for you?" Making Bruce triple down on killing the Joker.
"Your confirming it makes what I have to do a lot easier."
Bruce manages to get in to observe the UN meeting as Bruce Wayne. Superman is disguised as a guard. Bruce is seething, watching the Joker, knowing that is the guy who killed Jason.
"I should have terminated his vile existence years ago. But I didn't. I couldn't. His insanity gained him a stay of execution. But no longer. ... Jasonâs dead."
They both know the Joker is too stupid and lacks the impulse control needed to not attack the UN and immediately lose his immunity, which is the only thing keeping him alive. Joker releases Joker Venom to kill the delegates. Superman super breathes to inhale all the gas, which he's immune to because he's Superman and then says this as he leaves to go find a place to release the poison gas safely.
"Batman, he's all yours."
Superman basically says "You can kill him now" because he knows Batmanâs mind has not changed, and Superman had not once tried to say "killing Joker would be wrong" just that it couldn't happen before the Joker acted in a way that lost him his immunity.
And Bruce does go to do just that. He chases the Joker down, intent to kill, and jumps onto the helicopter the Joker is using to escape. One of the guys fires at Batman. It shoots the pilot, hits the Joker in damn near his heart, if not his heart, and Batman realizes the helicopter is going down and decides to jump and leave the Joker behind. He intends for the Joker to die in the crash.
Okay? Bruce was 100% going to kill the Joker for killing Jason. Superman said "hang on. Let him get enough rope to hang himself first and then you can do it." And then Joker only survived because comic books. And Bruce is unhappy about having to wait. Superman did not try to talk Bruce out of killing the Joker at all ever, or scold him for wanting to kill the Joker. (Don't say he was rescuing the Joker in that last panel. The next panel is Superman fishing Batman, who is shot in the arm, from the harbor, and Batman telling Superman to go find the body. Find the body! And Superman does go to do just that, but is unable to).
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
#batman#superman#the Joker#Jason Todd#dc#bruce wayne#clark kent#I cast âread the comicsâ#spes talks#Jason shouldn't be told Superman stopped Batman from killing the Joker#The Joker only isnât dead because plot armor#Batman was 100% willing and able to kill the Joker#and no force in heaven or earth was going to stop him#not even Superman#Not that Superman really tried to stop Batman to start with#this has been sitting in my drafts for a bit#but I have now seen this superman stopped batman from killing Joker#argument too many times to not post it
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I donât want to kick a hornetâs nest but iâm gonna kick a hornetâs nest.
It makes sooo much sense that you canât romance Lucanis after failing to save Treviso that Iâm actually shocked that so many fans think itâs out of character or poor storytelling.
He resents Rook! He feels hurt and betrayed that someone he had the beginnings of feelings for or could maybe love did not choose to support him when he desperately begged for their help!
Heâs still a friend to Rook and doesnât act out against them or the rest of the team because he does understand that it was an impossible choice. (And tbh that makes him a better man than I would be) But the ember of love that might have been there is squashed now, and i cannot blame him even a little bit. If I asked someone who I thought might care about me for the most important favor I could possibly think of, and they did not do it, i would never in a million years be able to love them.
If my romantic partner was faced with an impossible choice, like Rook is, I would need them to choose me.
It doesnât matter whether supporting me was not a logical choice. It doesnât matter if Rook truly believes itâs morally or practically more right to choose to save Minrathous. It doesnât matter even if *i* (Lucanis) would make the same choice in their position!
And itâs wild that I see criticisms that the game doesnât allow you to make bad choices or be mean to people when this choice exists! Lucanis being unable to fall in love with Rook is a consequence of Rookâs actions! Even if the action was morally justified, or there was no good option available, Rook still had to choose! Welcome to the moral choice video game series!! Lucanis strongly disapproved!!!
And just to make the hornets madder: I think it says more about something very complex going on with Neve that she *will* still romance Rook if you let Minrathous burn. In a better world, Iâd be reading twelve dozen meta posts analyzing her psychology than all the posts shitting on her for loving their blorbo when they chose not to.
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Juno
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Based off of the song Juno, I tried my hand at writing song inspired one shots again! this one is filthy but I hope you guys enjoy it anyways.
Check out our Patreon for early access and 200+ exclusive works (sign up on your browser and not the iOS app to save fees!)
WC- 3.5k
Warnings- heavy breeding kink, cum play, soft dom H, slight restraining, oral (m receiving), unprotected sex (wrap it up yall)
It had been a long fucking day.
Being the boss wasn't for the weak, apparently. Harry had been through the ringer today especially. People unable to communicate, an overly long and exastrubsating meeting, having to terminate an employee, all of it had made him itchy for the day to end- only for him to have to stay late to fix a problem. He had felt guilty texting his girlfriend that he was going to be home late, telling her his day had been a bit hellish.
Thankfully, he had been blessed with one of the most incredible women in the world, who assured him she was fine, not to worry about her and she would see him when he got home- but he hadnât expected just an incredible sight to greet him as he opened the bedroom door.
It was like a vision heâd see in the most incredible of dreams.
Y/N was stretched out on the bed, her head propped up on a pile of pillows. She was wearing a tiny, frilly pink babydoll nightgown that barely covered her assets and showed off her legs- god, her fucking legs. The delicate fabric shimmered in the soft lighting, catching Harry's eye and drawing his gaze downward. Dragging his eyes down the perfectly wrapped present, he counted every single one of his blessings.
âHi.â She spoke softly, clambering up to her knees and crawling to the end of the bed. âI missed you today, H.â
Harry's heart skipped a beat as he watched her crawl towards him, his eyes taking in the delicate nightgown that flowed over her curves in all the right places, riding up her thighs as she sat on her knees waiting for him. He felt a surge of love wash over him, his exhaustion melting away at the sight of her. Crossing the room in long strides, he met her at the end of the bed. "I missed you too, baby," He murmured. âWhatâs all this, hm?â
âI got a package today. This was what was in it.â She shrugged, running her hand down her waist to show it off. âI figured you had a rough day, but you like when you see the pretty things I buy. I thoughtâŠ. Maybe this would make you happy.â Her hands ran over his chest, peering up at him through her lashes. âI wanted to make you happy. I love you so much.â
His eyes softened, warmth spreading through his chest as he took in her words. She really had no idea how much she affected him, how much he absolutely adored her. Reaching out, his fingers brushing against the delicate, shimmery fabric, slowly running it up her thighs until it bunched around her waist. "It makes me very happy, my sweet girl." He murmured, his voice raspy as he took in the sight of her bare hips and thighs. "Come here." Taking a seat on the edge of the bed, he urged her to straddle his lap, which she did without complaint.
âI know itâs hard to be the boss all day.â Her voice was silky as she ran her finger through his hair, the gel keeping it back having failed hours ago. The man looked slightly disheveled, and that did something to her. âI know you need to come home and have a soft place to land. Youâre so good to me. I brag about you to my friends all the time. About everything.â Even the not so appropriate bits. She couldnât help it! âI want to be the one to help you make your fantasies come true. You pay the bills here, soâŠâ Shrugging her shoulders, she bit down on her glossy lip. âI figured Iâd give you something pretty to come home to.â
Harry's large hands palmed her ass, squeezing lightly as she straddled him, her warmth pressing against him. Her words, her kindness, her thoughtfulness, it all made him want to be a better man. She was the soft place he landed every day, his happy place. He leaned into her touch, his eyes fluttering closed as her fingers combed through his disheveled hair. âYou are⊠incredible. Fuck me. Canât believe youâre real.â
âDo you like it?â Pressing her lips to the corner of his, she hooked her finger in his shirt and tugged the half undone tie to the ground. âWhat I put on for you? I know you like to say Mâyour little angel. Figured this was a little angelic for you.â
He growled softly in approval, his hands tightening on her ass as her fingers made quick work of unbuttoning his shirt. "It's perfect, just like you." He sighed, his voice hoarse with the amount he had yelled today, and his desire for the girl on his lap. His hands roamed over her curves, his touch gentle but greedy. The man could never get enough of her. He loved how she would let him have his way with her, no matter what he desired. Nothing and no one could compare to how she made him feel, playing into every base level instinct he had. "My little angel... Dressed like that... Sâalmost unfair."
Y/N let out a giggle, loving the effect she had on him. Knowing he was such a powerful man and yet he had a weakness in her was more arousing than she could have prepared herself for. She loved being his soft spot, his little angel. âIt is fair, though. I wore it just for you. And I decidedâŠâ This was the part she had been nervous about all day. The decision she had made. She wanted him to lock her down. âI know we arenât married yet, but I donât think I can let you wait any longer to give you what you want.â Brushing her nose against his, she spoke against his lips. âI think mâgonna let you get me pregnant.â
Harry's breath hitched, his eyes widening for a moment before they filled with a heat that almost burned her. "Y/N..." He growled, his voice low and loaded. "Are you sure? We can wait if you're not ready." Even as he said the words, his hands tightened on her, pulling her closer against him. He wanted it, he wanted her, like this, forever. When she nodded to agree that she was absolutely sure, he let out a deep groan, eyes wild as they searched her own. " Say it again. Please."
âI want youâŠ.â She purred, leaning in so their chests were pressed together. âTo get me pregnant. Knock me up.â Smearing their lips together, she sucked a soft kiss to his bottom lip before murmuring again. âPut a baby in me.â
A shudder ran through him at her words, his control snapping. "Fuck, Angel..." He groaned, crashing his lips against hers in a bruising kiss. His tongue delved into her mouth, claiming her, tasting her. She tasted so fucking good, so much like his. He couldnât get enough. One hand tangled in her hair while the other slid down to grip her thigh, squeezing, owning. Pulling her down fully, he ground up against her, letting her feel how hard she made him. It had started the moment he walked in to see her splayed out on the bed, but this was something else. His weakness. "You want my baby?"
âUh-huh.â She giggled against his mouth, turning it into a whimper as she felt his cock rub up against her. Since coming to the decision she had been wet, aching for him to actually do it. She wanted to keep him, lock him down in every sense of the word. Be the only one for him. She wanted to be the mother of his children, all of them. There was no patience for waiting. The ring could come later- she had known he got one anyway. âI want to be yours so badly. I need it.â
"Shit, baby, you already are.." Standing up and with her in his arms, he turned them over and set her down on the mattress with her back against it, looking at her with intense eyes. "Mâgoing to give you my baby, my everything. You're going to be so fucking pregnant with my child, everyone's going to know it." Fumbling with his belt, he tossed it down and hurriedly stepped out of his trousers, letting his shirt fall off his shoulders as he watched her sit back up.
Her hands went for his briefs, tugging them down with shaky fingers. Y/N was just as needy for it as he was, and it showed. He let his head fall back, a low groan rumbling in his chest as she wrapped her hands around his shaft and pumped slowly, leaning down to lick the tip. He twitched in her grasp, throbbing in her palm.
"That's it, baby..." He encouraged softly, his hands tangling in her hair as he guided her head down, slowly thrusting into her warm, wet mouth. "Just like that. Get it nice nâwet for me." He pulled out, his breathing heavy.
She came back up for air, her hand pumping him slowly as she looked up at him with wide, eager eyes. "Open up for me, sweetheart. Stick out your tongue." He watched intently as she obeyed, baring her neck and tilting her head back. He wrapped a hand around the base of his erection and slowly pumped, his eyes rolling back as he grew harder. "Thatta girl..." He guided the tip to her lips, rubbing the head on her bottom lip.
He fed her his length slowly, his eyes fluttering shut as he savored the hot sensation of her mouth wrapping back around him. He pulled back and thrust into her mouth again, his hands tangling in her hair and guiding her head. "Look at me, Y/N. Keep your eyes on me."
Her eyes fluttered open, her lashes casting shadows on her flushed cheeks as she looked up at him, her mouth stretched around his thick girth. She hummed against him, eyes watering as he thrust further into her mouth. She looked so good, taking him like that, and he couldnât help but groan, his pace quickening. "That's my good girl. Such a sweet little thing fâme."
He gently thrust in and out of her mouth, his hands cradling her head. "Relax your jaw for me, Y/N... that's it... jusâ like that." He praised her softly, his voice a husky whisper. "You're doing so well, mâlove." He thrust a little deeper, pulling back quickly when she gagged slightly, his eyes flashing with concern. "Careful, careful. Breathe through your nose, baby, you can take it⊠Yâknow how to do it."
She breathed in through her nose as he instructed, her chest rising and falling. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes from the push but she didn't pull away, determined to please him. Her hands came up to grip his thighs for balance as he continued to slowly thrust. She hollowed her cheeks and sucked gently, her tongue swirling around the tip each time he pulled out.
He was absolutely stunning, his head thrown back in ecstasy, his chest heaving with each breath. The sight of his strong thighs tensing and flexing under her hands, the way his abs clenched... it was almost too much. She wanted to memorize every detail. She needed to be his, forever. His skin was flushed and damp with exertion, his hair disheveled. He was the picture of raw, masculine beauty. And he was all hers..
It was adorable, how she whimpered at the loss of his cock as he pulled it from her mouth, but he needed to have her fully. Claim her in the way she had promised to let him. âMmm, shit. Baby, youâre too good. Sâokay.â He panted, pulling her up by her arms and crushing his lips against hers. "I need inside, love. I can't...I can't wait any longer. I need tâput my baby in you."
She nodded eagerly against his lips, wrapping her arms around his neck as he adjusted her against the fluffy duvet. Never in her life had she been this fucking horny, but that was simply the way the man tended to affect her. Her legs spread wide for him, her heels digging into the bed as she watched him move to hover over her. Positioning himself between her thighs, his hands gripping her hips firmly, admiring the beauty that was his angel underneath him. "Y/N...look at me, sweetheart. Keep your eyes on me, okay?" His voice was gentle, loving, but his face was contorted with raw, unbridled desire.
"Need you tâwatch while I knock you up." He grit out, pressing forward and filling her with one long thrust. Letting out a low groan as he bottomed out, his eyes fluttered shut in rapture. "Oh, fuck." He hissed, reveling in the feel of her wrapped around him. This was what he needed, the remedy to his long day. Always her. He stilled for a moment, giving her time to adjust to his size. It was a stretch, and he knew it. "Okay?" he asked softly, his hips flexing forward slightly.
âUh-huh.â Her eyes were glued to his, wide and glassy as he filled her completely. The sensation of being so full, so stretched, was overwhelming. It never got old. When she got tipsy and slightly loose lipped, it was one of the things she alluded to with her friends- how big he was, how fulfilled he made her. She could feel every thick inch of him inside her, his heavy balls pressing against the plush of her ass. A soft whimper escaped her lips as she adjusted to his size, her walls clenching around him in a desperate attempt to keep him inside. "Sâso good.â
He began to move, slow and deep at first, savoring the exquisite drag of her silken walls. "That's it, baby... take it. Take every inch of me." He whispered, his hips rolling in a hypnotic rhythm. One hand slid down to rub tight circles over her clit as he fucked into her. "Gonna fill this sweet cunt. Pump you full of me."
His cock stretched her, a dull, delicious ache as he drove into her again and again, the wet sounds of the thrusts filling the room. He angled his hips, searching for that perfect spot inside her. He always did. He loved to make her go crazy, see her buck and cry out when he got it. They fit together so well, sometimes it was hard to believe theyâd found each other naturally. When did find it he heard it, music to his fucking ears. The borderline frantic cry as she grabbed his arms where they held her hips, her back arching off the bed. "Yes, there! Just like that." Her nails dug into his forearms as he hit her spot dead on with each thrust.
His balls slapped against her ass with each deep stroke, the sound echoing through the room. âYeah, I found my spot. Didnât I?â He crooned, smirk on his face as he kept it up. If there was anything he allowed himself to be smug about, it was how good he made his woman feel. âSâgood, I know. Hitting right where my girl needs. God, youâre fuckinâ perfect. Dressing up for meâŠâ He grit his teeth. âTellinâ me I can finally give you a baby. You love me, donât you sweetheart?â
âYeah, I do. Shit, Harry.â She cried out, her voice high-pitched as her inner walls tightened around his thick shaft. She could barely think, let alone speak, with him filling her so perfectly. âY-Yes, I love you so much- Please, please, please, please!â She chanted, her hands fisting the sheets beneath her as he continued to fuck into her sopping cunt. âPlease what, baby?â He taunted, looking down at her beautiful form. It was the prettiest picture only he got to see. âWhat dâyou want?â
âI-I want you to-â She gasped as he hit her spot again, her toes curling in ecstasy. âI want you to knock me up, H. Please knock me up, get me pregnant like yâwanted. I donât care, just wanna feel you inside me, I want my tummy to grow, I want all of it.â She pleaded, tugging him down to her as she felt her eyes water, looking up at him. âPlease, baby- please, please.â
His face contorted as he looked down at her, love and possession shining in his eyes. "You're really going tâlet me breed you like that, huh? All for me?" He grit out with clenched teeth, his hips snapping forward as his hands gathered her, wrapping around her wrists and pinning them above her head. "Yâwant to carry my baby, grow round with it inside you?"
"Yes, yes, yes." She chanted with a lovedrunk smile on her face, her back arching as he took her harder. The new angle had him hitting impossibly deep. "Please Harry, I need it. Need you to fill me up, make me yours. I want everyone to know I'm your girl, carrying your baby." Her voice broke, overwhelmed with pleasure. "Fuck, I'm getting close."
"That's it, cum on my cock like a good girl." He growled, feeling her tighten around him like a vice. "Milk me, I'm gonna pump you full. Gonna flood this fertile little cunt with my cum." His balls drew up tight as he pounded into her relentlessly, the wet squelch of her arousal obscene in the room. "Fuck, mâclose too. You want it baby?"
Y/N could barely speak as her orgasm took her faster than she had anticipated. It was his voice, his promise that took her there. The sensation was indescribable. Like being consumed, each hard thrust sending wave after wave of intense heat through her veins. She could feel every ridge and vein of his thick, pulsing length as it slid in and out of her slick hole. Her whole body was alight, every nerve ending on fire as he stretched her to the limit. The pressure built and built, her muscles tensing as the first waves of her release washed over her.
"Please, please... I want to feel you, inside me, filling me up. I want your baby, Harry. I want you to breed me." Her words were barely coherent, her mind fogged with desire as he continued to thrust into her, his powerful hips driving his thick cock home again and again. She could feel the heat of his body, the tautness of his muscles as he held back, intent on pouring into her just as she'd begged. âWanna be the only one.â
âShit.â He whined weakly, losing all resolve to hold on. Hearing her beg for it was the final straw on his composure. This was a day he had dreamed of, and she had so willingly handed it over to him. It was his turn to give it to her, just as he promised. âIâll give it to you baby. Give you everything- only tâyou. Fuck.â With a feral groan, he lost all control, slamming into her one final time as he erupted inside her. His hot, thick cum flooded her, painting her insides as he filled her to the brim. She could feel it pouring in, the warmth spreading through her belly as he continued to pump her full, his cock jerking and twitching inside her. âTake all of it.â
Her mouth parted on a silent 'O' as she felt him surge inside her, his warmth spreading through her. Her eyes fluttered closed as he released her hands, and her fingers immediately digging on his back as she found a way to cling to him, her legs wrapping around his waist to hold him closer. She didnât want him to leave, wanted him to stay buried.
"That's it, baby... take it all." He encouraged softly, nuzzling her neck as he slowly thrust in and out, relishing in the feeling as he pulsed inside of her.
She moaned softly, her head tossing on the pillow. "It feels so warm, so good... Sâso much inside of me. I love you so much." She whispered, a fucked out smile painting her lips. "I hope it takes."
Pulling out slowly, his cock glistened with them combined as he held her open, his load leaking out of her. The scene was absolutely filthy and everything he had hoped to see when they tried this. "Look at you... so full of my cum. So fucking perfect." He gently held her thigh open with one hand, his fingers on the other spreading her open to show off his work. "Look at how full you are, baby."
She whimpered, her eyes fluttering open as he displayed her to him. "Harry... It's so much. I can feel it dripping out of me. Donât waste it." She whispered, her voice tiredly giddy. "We should try for round two... just to be sure, right?"
#jarofstyles#harry styles one shot#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fanfic#harry styles smut#harry writing#harry styles imagine#harry drabble#harry styles blurb#harry styles writing#harry smut#harry styles au#harry styles fanfictions#harry styles one shots#harry fanfic#harry styles fanfics#harry styles fic
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I am on the verge of losing my mind, but I will not lose hope. This is my final plea đšâŒïžđ”đž
I share my story with you again today, filled with hope that you will continue to support us as you did before. Unfortunately, my previous campaign and my Tumblr accounts were shut down, which hindered our efforts to gather support for our families.
For four months, I have tirelessly appealed for help. Despite the challenges, some individuals provided small but valuable donations. Thank you to everyone who shared my campaign or story and to those whose messages of support showed their humanity.
Today, I ask for your support once more. You were our backbone over the past year and a half, and I trust you will continue to be so.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart
What My Brother Mohammad and I Need After the Ceasefire:
1. Reuniting with My Family:
I want to travel to reunite with my 10-month-old daughter, whom I havenât seen since the day she was born, and to be with my wife. This will cost me a lot, and I currently have nothing to cover these expenses.
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2.Helping My Brother Mohammad Rebuild His Project:
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My brother Mohammad wants to rebuild his small project to start a new life. He is injured and unable to work, so this project is his only way to earn a living.
3.Supporting My Brotherâs Pregnant Wife:
Mohammadâs wife is in her last month of pregnancy and could give birth at any moment. She needs some financial support to cover the costs of childbirth and care for the baby.
4.Rebuilding Our Shelter:
We are displaced in the southern part of the Gaza Strip. After the ceasefire, we will need to return to our homes, but the Israeli occupation prevents us from taking our tents from the south to the north. This means we will need to build new tents to provide shelter for our families.
I hope this message reaches compassionate people who can support us in these difficult times.
#save palestine#free palestine#palestinian genocide#save gaza#gaza strip#gazaunderattack#free gaza#gaza#help gaza
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romance analysis unit | spencer reid
summary: you like spencer. spencer likes you. somehow, you're the only ones on the team who can't see it - and that calls for some BAU intervention.
a/n: i had a bit of an impulsive moment and decided to delete my old blog (vintagecarat) because i wanted a redo, so if you've seen a variation of this fic before, itâs not been stolen - i promise! this is my favourite x reader i've ever written, so i had to rewrite it, of course!
enjoy the fic, and have a fantastic day! <3 requests are open!
note(s): gn!reader & no pronouns used, mention of alcohol, mention of canon-typical violence, reader gets hurt, mentions of blood, one bed trope
word count: 5,173
One year, seven months and sixteen days. That's how long it had been since you'd started working at the BAU.
One year, seven months and nine days. That's how long it had been since you'd realized that you had a sickeningly huge crush on Spencer Reid.
It had been a long time since you'd had a crush. The last time had been in elementary school, and you'd been convinced that you were in love with the boy who sat two seats to the left of you in class. Heâd gone on to marry your best friend and leave you with a broken heart. In hindsight, though, you were only five.
You'd fallen for people before, and you'd had a string of partners in the past, but it had been such a long time since you'd felt the way you did when you looked at Spencer. Seeing him smile made your heart thud erratically in your chest. Hearing him ramble made you smile in the giddiest and most euphoric way possible. Feeling his fingers brush against yours whenever he handed you your morning coffee made your brain turn to mush and left you unable to form a coherent sentence for at least ten minutes. You were trying your hardest to break that last habit, though.
Your crush on Spencer quickly became a topic that you knew you wanted to keep a secret from the rest of the team. The last thing you needed was all of your progress as the newest team member to be weighed down by a crush that made you blush and giggle like a child.
During a particularly wild night out with the team, though, your plan to keep your crush on Spencer a secret went flying out of the nearest window, along with any shred of dignity you had remaining after drinking one too many shots. It had been a miracle that Spencer hadn't been there at the exact moment the words spouted from your lips. At least you had your drunk self to thank for something, you supposed.
Penelope had been the first one you'd told. Definitely a foolish move on your part, but you were too drunk in the moment to make any logical decisions. Emily and JJ had gone to the bar to get more drinks - "another round of shots", Emily had screamed before dragging JJ away - leaving you and Penelope alone to guard the table in the corner. She was the one who'd brought up the conversation, and naturally, you'd followed along without a care in the world. If there was anything good to come of the situation, then it was the look on Penelopeâs face. You wished youâd taken a picture of her expression as the words tumbled from your mouth.
Penelope couldnât keep a secret to save her life, and once she knew, it was only a matter of time before Emily and JJ knew. Sheâd screamed so loudly that youâd almost gotten kicked out of the bar for causing a disturbance.
"Place your bets," Emily had shouted over the pounding bass music, slamming a twenty-dollar bill onto the table, "How long until Garcia tells Morgan?"
It barely even took an hour. Emily ended up winning her own bet.
Derek had practically cornered you at your desk the next time he saw you in the bullpen, failing miserably to hide the smirk on his face as he showed you his phone and the babbling, completely unintelligible, texts from Penelope.
With the alcohol out of your system and the devastating hangover a painful memory, you wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow you whole. Maybe you could quit, or request a transfer, or simply disappear to the other side of the country and become a recluse in the wilderness. Wishful thinking, of course.
From that moment on, you noticed that the rest of the team was messing with you. You didnât have any proof, but you were sure of it. Youâd enter the conference room to find that the only seat remaining was next to Spencer. Youâd find yourself paired up with Spencer more often during cases. You and Spencer would frequently be the last two members left in the bullpen at the end of the day.Â
It wasn't as if you particularly minded. You and Spencer were best friends. You had been from the moment you'd walked into the bullpen on your first day and immediately made a comment about the book he was reading. You were used to being around him more often than not, but it was a lot harder to act as if nothing had changed when you were on edge 90% of the time. You were always wondering if he knew anything about the crush you had on him, or if someone else was about to blurt out the secret that you were trying so desperately hard to keep hidden. You couldn't bring it up because you'd either out yourself or you'd be forced to have a conversation that you were sure would end in rejection.
It was an endless cycle, and you hated it.
You were in the bullpen with Dave, perched on the edge of your desk as he rattled off his famous carbonara recipe. Youâd always wanted to be a better cook, and Dave had promised you that he'd teach you, even though he really didn't want you burning his kitchen down to the ground.
âOkay, so, do you add the cheese and the egg together, or separately?â
âYou combine the egg first, and then you add the cheese.â
âOh. Right. SoâŠâ
It was at that moment that Derek decided to sidle over to the conversation, perching himself on your desk beside you with an all-too familiar smirk on his face.Â
âSince when have you been interested in learning how to cook?â he gave you a not-so-subtle nudge.
You shot Derek a glare, âDerek. Don't.â
"Unless you were planning a date for pretty boy over there.â
He nodded his head in Spencer's direction, and you couldn't help but follow his eyes. It was automatic. The sight of Spencer pouring pretty much the entire jar of sugar into his coffee made you smile, but it was definitely an expression you wiped off your face when you heard Derek's laughter.
âI swear to God, DerekâŠâ
âGuys,â JJ interrupted, entering the bullpen with a case file in hand, âWe've got a case.â
âIs it bad?â
JJ simply grimaced.Â
âOf course it is,â you said with a sigh, hopping off your desk. Derek was still failing to hide his laughter beside you, and you swatted at him, âShut up, Derek.â
âI didn't do anything.â
âYou didn't have to.â
It didnât surprise you at all to see that the seat beside Spencer was the only one available. As you slid into it, you caught Emily smirking at you from across the table, though she was clearly trying to hide it. You shook your head at her, though you couldnât stop a tiny smile from ghosting over your lips as you focused your attention onto the case file in your hands.
êšïž
It always seemed as though every case at the BAU was worse than the last one.
Youâd all been called to a small town in Wyoming after a frantic call from the police department. Three victims had been found in the townâs frozen lake with anchors tied to their ankles to keep them below the surface. A fourth victim had gone missing, and there was no doubt that sheâd end up like the others if she wasnât found. It was a horrifying fact that everybody knew, but nobody wanted to admit.
It was later, almost 11 pm, and you were no closer to solving the case than you had been when youâd first arrived. It was as if the unsub was always three steps ahead of you, and it was frustratingly annoying. Youâd spent a good portion of the afternoon scouring through decade old case files. The lead detective was convinced that it was related to a similar case that had happened in the 1990s. You hadnât found any striking similarities between the two and you were beginning to wonder if there would be any at all. He was clutching at straws, desperately trying to close the case as quickly as possible. You couldnât fault him for that.
Just as the words on the case file were beginning to blur into one large amalgamation, a gentle hand landed on your shoulder, âHey,â JJ said, âWeâre all heading to the hotel.â
âYou go ahead,â you waved dismissively, stifling a yawn, âIâm going to finish looking over these files, andâŠâ
âHotchâs orders,â she cut you off, âYou need a break. We all do.â
You looked to the doors of the precinct and saw the rest of the team ready to leave, muttering amongst themselves in a tired conversation. Aaron raised his eyebrows, almost expectantly, at you.
âAlright,â you didnât bother trying to hide another yawn, âIâm coming.â
JJ smiled softly at you, almost dragging you to your feet because of how exhausted you were. It didnât really feel as if your brain was in control of your body as you padded after her. Youâd been so caught up in the details of the case that you hadnât realized how tired you truly were. The sudden rush of air that hit you as you exited the building made you even drowsier.
âYou look exhausted,â Spencer chuckled as he helped you into the SUV with a gentle hand on the small of your back that almost made you combust right then and there, "I've seen you tired, but this is another level."
You simply made a little grunt in response. You didn't have enough energy to come up with one of your usual witty comebacks. You clumsily collapsed into your seat, and you leaned your head back against the headrest as your eyes fluttered shut.
It wasn't too long of a drive to the hotel, but that didn't stop you from catching a quick power nap during the brief moment of peace. You couldn't get Spencer out of your head. Or, more specifically, that hand on the small of your back. He'd never touched you like that before. Ever. It was sending your brain spiraling, to be honest.
âWeâre here,â Spencerâs voice filtered into your ear as he gently shook your shoulder, âWake up.â
Your eyes snapped open, and you glanced to your left. After a moment, your eyes came back into focus, and it hit you that your head was leaning on Spencerâs shoulder, âOh,â you quickly sat up, though you almost choked as the seat belt snapped you back against the seat, âSorry.â
You were so very glad that most of the team werenât in the same SUV as the two of you because theyâd never let you hear the end of it. The only other person was Aaron, and as you caught his eye in the rearview mirror, you could tell that he was trying not to uncharacteristically laugh at you. You did your best to ignore him, which wasnât exactly easy when your face began to burn with a familiar wave of heat that youâd grown accustomed to.
That chuckle of Spencerâs that you loved so much and made your heart do flip-flops in your chest echoed in your ears, âItâs fine. You clearly needed it. And I do make an excellent pillow.â
You snorted out a laugh, and you gave him a shove as you climbed out of the car beside him, âShut up.â
The rest of the team were all waiting beside the front desk with their bags as you and Spencer entered. Even though you made sure to look in any other direction, you definitely saw the subtle smirks Derek and Emily were shooting you out of the corner of your eye.Â
Aaron finished his hushed conversation with the receptionist, and with a curt nod, he moved back over to the rest of the team with key cards in his hand, âThey donât have enough rooms for all of us. Looks like weâre doubling up.â
If Spencer noticed the subtle smirks and side glances from the rest of the team, he never mentioned them.
Instead, he nudged your shoulder, âWeâre sharing, right?â
âOf course, weâre sharing. I wouldnât expect anything less,â you took the key card Aaron was holding out to you, and you couldnât help but notice his lips twitching up into a tiny little-half smirk. You brushed it off, though, âIâm sleeping on the bed nearest the window this time.â
âThatâs not fair,â Spencer followed you as you made your way to the elevator, âI like sleeping near the window.â
âNo. Not happening. You slept near the window last time.â
A comfortable silence fell over the two of you as the elevator shot up to your designated floor. Your eyes wandered around the small space, and you found yourself looking anywhere other than at Spencer. You werenât an anxious person, and it wasnât as if being alone with Spencer was a new thing to you, but your mind was racing. All because of that one small gesture. His hand on the small of your back. You couldnât stop thinking about it, and you wished you could because it was making your cheeks burn.
âEven the elevators are fancy,â you muttered, casting a quick glance around the elevatorâs plush and yet miniscule interior, âFor a small town, they sure do have nice hotels.â
Things really were dire when you started making small talk. You were the type of person who could make a mountain out of a molehill with how much you talked. You almost rivaled Spencer with how much you could babble on. Small talk wasnât your thing at all.
âWhatâs the matter with you?â
âHm?â
âYou hate small talk,â Spencer said, and you bit back a laugh at that. It was as if you and Spencer were on the same wavelength sometimes, âAnd youâre picking at the hole in your sweater. You only ever do that when youâve got something on your mind.â
You immediately glanced down at your hands, dropping them from your sweater as if it burned. You hadnât even realized youâd been picking at the hole until Spencer mentioned it. You hadnât even realized that there was a hole at all. Your bottom lip jutted out in a quick pout, âI love this sweater.â
Spencer chuckled at that, âSo,â he continued, âYouâre clearly nervous about something. And itâs not the case, because cases never make you nervous.â
âReally?â you said, a hint of laughter creeping into your tone, âYouâre analyzing me?â
The elevator reached your floor, and the doors opened with a loud ding, âIâm not analyzing,â Spencer stepped out, âIâm simply making an astute observation.â
âOkay, well stop astutely observing me,â you followed after him, âDonât worry. Iâm fine. You know Iâd tell you, â it wasnât necessarily a lie. Maybe youâd tell him. Eventually.Â
Spencer glanced back at you briefly as if he didnât believe a word coming out of your mouth, but he never said anything. Instead, he took the keycard from you and held it against the lock, waiting for the light to turn green before pushing open the door, âOh.â
âWhat?â you sidestepped around him, âOh.â
There was only one bed. Sure, it was a double, but it was still tiny. It was in that moment that you decided perhaps becoming an unsub wouldnât be a lost cause.Â
âIâll take the couch.â
âI can sleep on the couch.â
You and Spencer finished your sentences at the same time, and you turned to look at each other. As soon as you locked eyes, you both started to laugh at the stupidity of the situation.Â
âIâm not letting you sleep on the couch.â
âIâm not letting you sleep on the couch either,â you argued, âItâll kill your back, Spence. Youâre way too tall.â
âItâs not fair on you, though. YouâllâŠâ Spencer was about to argue some more, but he stopped when he saw the look on your face. Spencer couldnât argue his way out of a wet paper bag - when it came to you, at least.
âLook, Spence. Itâs fine,â you dropped your bag onto the couch before he could protest, âThere. Easy. No harm done.â
Spencer frowned, but he reluctantly put his own bag on the bed, âFine. Weâre swapping tomorrow night, though,â he told you, almost ordering you, âYouâre not sleeping on the couch the entire time weâre here.â
âDeal,â your lips curled up into a smile, and you sat down on the couch, âSee. I told you Iâd be sleeping near the window.â
Spencer laughed at that.Â
êšïž
From your space on the couch, you could faintly see the glowing green alarm clock that sat on the bedside table. A strange commodity for a hotel room. It almost looked alien.Â
2:32 a.m.Â
You couldnât sleep. You had a bad enough sleep schedule at the best of times, but the injury on your side was making things worse. It still burned, and if you gently put pressure on the area, you could still feel the deep wound through the layers of bandages.Â
You were almost three days into the case, and youâd finally had a solid lead. It had taken a lot of digging, but Penelope had discovered the unsubâs hunting ground; an old speakeasy hidden so deep in the town that nobody had been able to trace it. Since you were the closest in victimology, youâd agreed to go undercover to catch the unsub once and for all. All youâd ended up with was a knife embedded deep into your side as the unsub escaped once again.
Youâd been in the hospital for hours after that. The knife had gone in so deep that it was close to catching something vital, and the doctors had told you that you were lucky to be alive. Youâd spent most of that afternoon in a hospital bed, listening to the monotonous sound of beeping machines. After a concerned lecture from Aaron - heâd told you not to follow the unsub but you hadnât exactly listened - you were bandaged up and sent on your way.
Spencer had told you to take the bed. Heâd almost forced you into it at one point. But youâd seen the way heâd tried to discreetly stretch out his cramp throughout the day, and you were far too stubborn, so you refused his offer and tried to sleep on the couch for the night. It wasnât working, though.Â
You huffed in pain, shifting uncomfortably in the hopes of finding a better position to sleep in. Every movement made your bandages rub against the wounded area. You finally thought you found a comfortable enough position and you tried to settle down, but then you felt a dampness seeping through your bandages, and you cursed under your breath.
âNo, no, no,â you muttered, pulling your shirt up and surveying your body. Even in the darkness, you could see the dark spot where the blood had begun to soak through, âGoddamnit.âÂ
You pushed yourself off the couch and tip-toed across the room. You didnât want to wake Spencer, especially not in your current state. You kept a hand tightly pressed against your side as you slowly moved. You didnât want to get blood on the carpet. The staff seemed lovely, and you didnât want to ruin their day with your mess. Every single step made you wince as a sharp pain shot straight through your body, and your breaths came out as sharp little puffs of air.Â
A muffled noise from the bed caught your attention, and you saw Spencer begin to stir. He gently mumbled your name as he sat up and stared at you with bleary eyes, âWhat are you doing?â he looked you up and down, and then his eyes settled on the blood, âAre you okay?â
âYeah,â you told him, though you clearly werenât, âI think the stitches came undone or something. Itâs fine,â you tried to wave his worries off, âGo back to sleep.â
Spencer did the opposite. He clambered out of bed and turned on the light, lighting up the room so that you could both see each other clearly. Your heart started to thud a little faster when you saw that the shirt he was wearing to sleep in was a little undone towards the top. Youâd never noticed that before.Â
âYouâre not fine,â his eyes were laser focused on the blood as he took a step closer to you, âYouâre bleeding.â
âGood observation skills, Spencer,â you laughed a little, though you grunted in pain as it aggravated the injury, âI told you, itâs fine. Iâll redress it, andâŠâ you paused when you saw the look in his eyes. It was a look heâd never given you before, and it stole your breath for a moment.Â
âLet me see.â
âSpencer...â
âItâs obviously hurting you,â his sentence was almost demanding, and yet there was a soft and concerning tone to his voice, too, âLet me see it.â
You sighed. There was no way you could refuse when he spoke to you with that tone of voice. You gingerly lifted your shirt high enough for him to see it, âIt looks worse than it is.â
Spencer gently pulled away the loose bandages and inspected the open wound, his eyes never leaving your body, âDoesnât matter,â he muttered, âYouâre not redressing it yourself, and youâre certainly not stitching yourself back up.â
You barely had a chance to respond before Spencer had darted into the bathroom, and he came out moments later with a roll of bandages the hospital had given you.Â
âHere. Sit,â he sat back down on the bed, and he patted the space beside him, âYouâll have to go back to hospital tomorrow. Iâll help you rebandage it for tonight,â his eyes darted between your own eyes and the blood that seemed to be pooling on your side, âPlease.â
You hesitated for a moment, âSpencerâŠâ there was no point in arguing with him, you knew that, and your wound hurt the longer it was left open, âFine.â
You sat down beside Spencer, curling your legs up under you as you turned your back to him. Your hands gripped the hem of your shirt, holding it up high enough so that it wasnât dangling in the way. This wasnât the first time that Spencer had patched you up after an injury in the field, but this was the first time where you were definitely feeling a little light-headed.Â
âOw.â
âSorry,â Spencerâs voice was a gentle whisper against your ear. You hadnât even realized that he was practically leaning his head on your shoulder, âSorry.â
Spencerâs hands were so gentle on your skin that it was almost as if he wasnât even touching you at all. The only indication that he was even helping you was the bandages around your torso since he wrapped them so tightly that they felt like a strangely comforting hug.Â
âThere,â Spencer said, almost proudly, and he gave you a pat on the shoulder, âDone.â
You glanced down at your body before dropping your shirt. The wound didnât even seem to hurt any more. You became very aware very quickly that Spencerâs hands hadnât left your hips, âThank you.â
You shuffled around until you were facing him, and when your eyes locked, it suddenly felt as if time had come to a standstill. That look was back in his eyes; the one that youâd never seen before that made you feel as though you were melting on the inside. You werenât entirely sure what was racing faster; your heart or your mind.Â
And suddenly, before you could really comprehend your actions, your lips were on his. Your body acted before your brain could catch up. Your hands tugged slightly on the collar of his shirt as if you were trying to pull him closer to you. The kiss was tender, and yet it was so full of obvious desire. Warmth flooded your entire body as your stomach seemed to explode with swarms of butterflies. This was a moment youâd thought about for a long time, and once your brain caught up, you couldnât quite comprehend that it was happening.
It may have only been a few seconds, but it felt like hours. You pulled away, and it was only after you saw the startled expression on Spencerâs face and the faint blush that crept up his neck that you realized what youâd done, âSpenceâŠâ your mouth opened and closed, but now words came out for a good few seconds, âSpencer. Iâm so sorry. I didnât mean toâŠâ
Your panicked babbling was cut off as Spencer pressed a quick kiss to your lips, âShut up,â he smiled, and he pressed his index fingers where his lips had been moments ago, âJust shut up for a minute.â
If this were any other time, youâd be rather offended that he told you to shut up, and youâd keep talking. In this situation, however, you were happy to keep your mouth shut.
âYou didnât mean to, what? You didnât mean to kiss me?â
âNo. I mean⊠Yes, but also no, butâŠâ
Spencer raised an eyebrow with a faint smirk, âI thought I told you to shut up.â
You pressed your lips together in a fine line, âSorry.â
Spencerâs hands left your hips, and he took your hands in his own. He squeezed them gently, and his thumbs began tracing soft little circles onto your palms, âYou kissed me.â
You were more than ready for the ground to open up and swallow you whole. Spencer seemed to notice because his grip on your hands got a little tighter as if he knew youâd go run, âIâm glad you kissed me.â
There was no stopping the surprised squeak that escaped your lips, âWhat?!â
Spencer chuckled at that, and the pink blush had spread up to his cheeks, âIâm glad you kissed me,â he repeated, âIâve wanted to kiss you for a long time.â
âYou⊠YouâŠâ your mouth was hanging open, and your eyes were wide. You mustâve looked like an absolute idiot, âYou haveâŠ?â
âOf course, I did.â
This conversation was going in an entirely different direction to how youâd assumed it was. Youâd never seen Spencer look or talk with so much affection before. Spencer said your name with so much love in his tone that it snapped you out of your shocked state, âI like you.â
For a single moment in time, it felt as if the world had stopped spinning. You simply stared, unable to do much of anything else except feel a sharp tug at your heart, âYou⊠You doâŠ?â
âAre you capable of putting a sentence together, or not?â Spencer laughed, and he interlaced his fingers with yours, âYes, I do. A lot, actually,â he smiled at you, and there was a hint of teasing, âI might be a genius, but even the dumbest person in the room could figure you out right now.â
You cracked a smile, and your shocked expression gave way to a relieved and delighted one, âI really like you, too.â
âDo you? I hadnât noticed.â
âShut up,â you giggled, and you never giggled. You knew this crush was childish, but this was on another level entirely.
âI think thatâs the first time Iâve ever heard you giggle.â
âIâm not giggling.â
âOh, you absolutely are. Youâve always been a terrible liar,â Spencer grinned at you, and then his lips connected with yours.Â
The kiss seemed more affectionate than earlier, and a lot more passionate. Your hands wound around his neck, and his hands found a comfortable resting place on your waist. Your lips seemed to perfectly fit together like two puzzle pieces. It couldâve been seconds, or it couldâve been minutes. You werenât entirely sure how long it had been, but you eventually pulled away from each other, and you were both a little breathless from the intensity. Intense was something you never expected from Spencer. You liked it, though.
You let your forehead rest against Spencerâs, âI hate to ruin the mood and everything, butâŠâ your eyes flitted back and forth to the couch, âDoes this mean I donât have to sleep on the couch anymore?â
âAbsolutely not,â Spencer pulled you a little closer, âYouâre not sleeping on the couch. Especially not now.â
âGood,â you curled into him as he pulled you closer to his side, letting your head rest against his chest with a gentle sigh, âThe bed has better company.â
Spencer maneuvered the two of you until you were lying on the bed, and he tucked you that tiny bit closer into him. Youâd imagined him hugging you plenty of times, but this felt better than any imagination could. He kissed the top of your head, and he ran a gentle hand up and down your back, âSure does.â
êšïž
âPenelope Garcia! Iâm going to kill you!â
You stormed through the BAU and entered Penelopeâs office, slamming the door open with such a bang that it made the walls shudder.
Penelope grinned as she spun around in her chair to face you, âAh, my sweet angel,â she spoke with a beaming grin on her face, âDo you require my assistance?â
âYou littleâŠâ you stepped a little closer, but it was hard to look even slightly threatening with a goofy grin on your face that you were trying to hide, âYou gave me and Spencer the only room with a single bed?â
âI did no such thing.â
âI spoke to everyone else, Pen. Everyone else had a bed of their own.â
Penelope continued to smirk at you, not even trying to hide her laughter, âIt worked, didnât it? I havenât seen you as happy as this in weeks.â
You faltered at that. She wasnât wrong. Ever since youâd gotten back from Wyoming, youâd been happier than anyone had ever seen you. Of course, everyone knew about you and Spencer, and it didnât take long for the good-natured teasing to pick straight back up, âYeah. Okay. It worked, butâŠâ
Penelope held up a manicured finger to cut you off, âBesides, my sweet,â she continued, leaning forward in her chair as if she had a secret to tell you, âI was the one who booked the rooms, yes, but I wasnât the one who handed out the keys, was I?â
Another pause. The words slowly sunk in, and then your mouth dropped open in a mix of shock, humiliation, and a little bit of gratitude, âYou⊠You donât meanâŠâ
Penelope grinned. She could practically see the gears turning in your head, and it made her laugh, âOh, I mean exactly what you think I mean, my love.â
âHotch set us up?!â you didnât even wait for Penelopeâs response. You turned on your heel and marched out of her office, leaving Penelope laughing to herself behind you, âAaron Hotchner! Iâm going to kill you.â
#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds imagine#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid imagine#x reader
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Mending each other's hearts I (Logan Howlett/ Wolverine x Mutant!Reader)
I just love heatrbreaking stories that end with happy endings, this one might actually have a part two. I have to take all of this creative rush suddenly flowing and write as much as I can before I'm back to nothing. This reader's powers are invisibility.
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It really hurt. To have someone you are madly in love with so out of reach, in love with somebody else. To know that no matter what you did, he would never look at you the same way he looked at her. Jean. She was perfect, gorgeous, smart, kind, and powerful. The golden child of Xavierâs School. Truly a Marvel girl.
You couldnât help but envy your friend, not only has caught the eyes of two men, but also was the apple of your mentorâs eye. You couldnât say it was undeserved. As much as you adored Jean as a friend, sometimes you resented her for having it all and not seeming to notice.
It twisted your heart every time you caught one of his longing looks, or his soft smiles. You felt the burning sensation of tears in your eyes and a lump in your throat. You forcefully swallowed it down, the least you wanted was everyone pitying you over some unrequited crush.Â
You couldnât afford to tell anyone, so every time there was a big alpha male fight between Scott and Logan over her affections you quietly stayed as far as you could. Knowing that staying and hearing him fight for her love would completely break you.
That didnât mean you didnât quietly cry in the shower or when you were alone in bed. Those were the only places where the tears could flow freely and you allowed your sobs to wreck your body.
You once thought that being his close friend, his confidant, someone he fully trusted would be enough. That you could move on past your silly infatuation until it was nothing more than a buzzing noise in your head. Time could heal everything, you would get used to the heart ache and live normally.
However, Cupid was a resentful bitch.
It only took you being in the wrong place at the wrong time, to finally break into tiny little pieces. As you were getting some papers to grade, you realized you had left your phone back in the class. If only you hadnât noticed until much later; maybe you would have saved yourself from watching the man who you loved the most passionately kissing your friend, his real one true love.
Your body turned cold, for once, you wished your invisibility powers kicked in and made you disappear. But you couldnât. You felt blocked, glued to the carpet, unable to move, to think, to breathe as your entire world crashed around you. Thatâs the worst part of deceiving oneself, when reality comes knocking it hits you harder than any punch.
Maybe if you had stayed longer, you would have seen Jean gently pushing Logan away, with a heartbroken look in her face, quietly shaking her head with silent tears running down her cheeks. Maybe you would have seen the look of utter defeat in Loganâs face, knowing the heart of his beloved was already taken. Maybe, maybe, maybe⊠but you didnât.
You donât remember how you managed to return to your room, how you found yourself able to walk all the way without collapsing. For a second, you wondered if it had been real, an hallucination caused by the stress of being a teacher in a school full of mutant teenagers. As much as you tried to convince yourself, the tear drops staining the papers were proof that what had just happened was very much real.
It felt like something inside you had died that day.
People could see it, the light in you getting duller, your voice was starting to lose the warmth it once held. You tried to fake it, to pretend that everything was fine, that you were the same as always. But it was as plain as day how much you were grieving.
Until one day you casually took a look at yourself in the mirror. What a sorry sight.
Your skin was pale, more fitting of an ill person than a healthy mutant; your eyes looked glossy, probably due to the sleepless nights you had spent crying your heart out until you could barely feel anything; your hair, usually as tidy as you could get it, fell limp over your shoulders, unkept.
You felt sorry for yourself, pathetic, weak. That's what you were.
The only one to blame for this was looking straight at you through red rimmed eyes. This love, this bleeding twisted love, needed to go out, vanish for all eternity. You had no plans of moving, you had nowhere to go, as long as you stayed at the mansion you would have to constantly be reminded of what you so wholeheartedly desired but could never have. Unless you put an end to that.
How did that saying go? âA new worry helps to take the pain awayâ, Logan needed to be out of your system if you wanted to keep both him and Jean in your life. And there was only one way to do it. A good old wild night in town. Would it completely erase what you felt for that rugged old man? Surely not, but it was a great first step.
You would have loved to invite Ororo and Jean with you to have a decent girls night for once, but this was something you needed to do on your own. So without telling anybody, you took Friday off and got ready to put an end to this pain once and for all.
âââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
There was something off with you, he could feel it. For the past couple of months you had not been entirely yourself and that was upsetting him to no end.
Your friends had tried to help you open up, out of concern to no avail. Apparently, your problems were something that you had decided you would go through on your own. But Logan didnât agree with you. It burned him watching someone he deeply cared about lose a bit of light with each passing day, and it burned him even more not being able to do anything to help. He felt useless, doomed to watch you consume yourself more and more until there was anything left.
His pain over Jeanâs rejection had left him somber and broken, but watching you slowly succumb into a pit of despair had damaged him in ways no one should have. You, his closest friend, if he was able to have something like that, his little âCasperâ who was always so kind, so considerate, even to an asshole like him; were suffering and he couldnât protect you from that pain.
Logan remembered how soft your hands were, how warm your touch was and how bright your smile was. And now there was only left an empty carcass, a living shadow of what you once were. He found himself mourning over something he would never have again.
Fuck, he wanted you back. He missed you. He needed you back. It was so emotional, he couldnât give a single fuck about it.Â
He was going to get you back.
When Hank told him that you had suddenly taken that day off, Logan panicked, fearing the worst. Nearly on fours he ran up the stairs, praying to whatever deity he didnât believe in that you hadnât left.
And you hadnât.
He wasnât prepared for what he found in your room. You, sitting in front of the mirror of your vanity, applying the last touches of mascara to your eyes. Your hair was done in a very elegant way, combed and curled till it reached perfection; your eyeshadow, combined with the mascara, highlighted the color of your eyes making them shine. Your lips were painted in a red as dark as blood that was practically begging to be smeared across your mouth.
And the icing on the cake were that tantalizing red dress that hugged all your curves in the best way, and those impossibly high heels that made your legs endless.
He was speechless. So speechless he didnât notice how you momentarily paled only to recover your composure once again.
âDid you⊠did you want something?â You asked, shyly. Panicking at the thought of your plan ending before it had even started.
Logan didnât answer, too busy taking all of you in. His eyes quickly darted from one part to another. The air coming out of him in short breaths, his sturdy chest rising and falling. Fists clenching and unclenching.
âWhere are you going?âHis voice sounded raspy.
âOut.â You simply stated, it hurted but you had to remain cold for this to work.
âWith who?â It didnât go unnoticed to you the dangerous edge in his voice. Why would he even care about it?
âIâm flying solo tonight, hopefully not for long, if you know what I mean.â You tried to play it cool, like you were just teasing a friend, as the old you would, but Logan could smell bullshit coming a mile away, so obviously he didnât buy it.
âThe fuck is that supposed to mean?â Oh you knew that face he was making, he was getting angrier by the second. You still could feel the remains of the heartbreak sinking like daggers in your badly beaten heart.
âI mean that Iâm not planning on sleeping here tonight, Lo.â
He didnât like at all the ugly, primal feeling that arose in his chest at your words. That sudden urge to destroy, to tear apart your dress and lock you in your room, away from prying eyes. It must have shown in his face, because you uneasily sank back into your chair.
You werenât going to let him scare you away from this. His big bad man act may have worked on other people, but you knew him well enough to know that was purely a façade. Mustering all the bravery and courage left in you, you picked the remaining pieces of your heart and stood up determined to keep going whether he wanted it or not. A low warning growl emanated from his body when you walked past him. âBye, Lo.â He didnât like how final those two words sounded.
And for a couple of seconds he just stood there, just processing what had happened. You sounded so determined, so ready to leave and not coming back it was unsettling. It was a future he didnât look forward to.
He caught a whiff of your scent, laced with that perfume the students gifted you on your birthday. You were going out alone, dressed out like that, and possibly coming home smelling like a stranger???
Oh, hell no.
#wolverine x reader#wolverine#logan howlett#Logan howlett x reader#james logan howlett#X men#X men x reader
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"You're the loss of my life"
outbreak! Joel Miller x f!reader
part 2 here
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summary: you and Joel went from one kiss to getting married to becoming strangers.
w.c: 5k>
Warnings: angst, implications of cheating, mentions miscarriage. Perhaps some grammar mistakes because no proofreading oops!
a/n: I know everything I write is angst but is what it fits in my mind right now. Reblogs and comments are always appreciated đ
Dividers by @/saradika-graphics
The day you killed yourself, you woke up. The salty tears streamed down to your ears. There was a pity gaze you didn't want to meet, looking down at you, perhaps asking why.Â
You didn't want to talk, even less to answer the pitiful comments from people who thought they had a say on all this.
You remember the fall. You remember Joel running to Sophie to save her life instead of yours, instead of both. You and the baby who was inside you. The one who wasn't there anymore because of its tiny form didn't resist the impact of your fall.
What a tragedy.
Sadness overcame you in the aftermath. In a world like this, treating your wounded body wasn't as hard as treating your heart, which became a frozen glass shell.
The days that followed were a blur, each moment blending into the next, a never-ending cycle of grief and numbness. You avoided mirrors, hating the reflection of a person you no longer recognized. The hollow eyes, the lifeless expressionâthey belonged to a ghost, not to you.
Joel tried to talk to you, his words a constant hum in the background. "I'm sorry," he'd say. "I didn't know what to do." But his apologies were meaningless, lost in the chasm that had formed between you. He perhaps saved Sophie because he loved her more, because in that split second, she was the one who mattered.
Not you anymore.
You spent hours in the nursery, the room you had so carefully prepared. The crib, the tiny clothes, the stuffed animalsâall mocking reminders of what could have been. Your hands would linger on the soft blankets, tears falling silently onto the fabric. It was in that room that you felt the closest to the baby you had lostâa place where the field of dreams you had died.
One night, as you sat in the dark, the pain was too much to bear, and you decided you couldn't go on. The world was too cruel, too indifferent to people's suffering. You wrote a letter, your final words, to those who might wonder why. It was briefâjust a few sentences explaining the unbearable weight of your grief and the unending ache in your heart. Meeting your family and beloved ones in heaven sounded better than keeping yourself prisoner in a world that would never be a safe place for anyone.
You took the pills, each one a step closer to peace. As you drifted off, you felt a strange sense of calm, a release from the torment that had consumed you. You hoped that in death, you would find the solace that eluded you in life.
But then you woke up again. The salty tears streamed down to your ears. There was a pity gaze you didn't want to meet, looking down at you, perhaps asking why.
Waking up again felt like a cruel joke. You were back in the same world, with the same pain. But something was different. Joel was there, his eyes red and swollen from crying. He took your hand, his touch hesitant and afraid.
"I thought I lost you," he whispered, his voice breaking.
You turned away, unable to meet his gaze. The wound was still too fresh, and the betrayal was still too raw to face them.
Joel's gaze burned in your back, and the smell of death was in the room. You held your breath for a moment. You wanted to smell the flowers and the baby smell of the little head of your baby, which you would never get to meet.
"Why?" he questioned, and for the first time, his voice did soothe your wounds; instead, it caused your blood to boil inside you and irritated you.
"I want Ellie here, not you."
"Baby- â
"Go." Your voice could slice Joelâs skin.
He recoiled as if struck, his face crumpling with pain. He stood there for a moment, looking lost and broken. "Please, don't push me away," he pleaded, but you couldn't hear him through the rage and grief that consumed you.
"Leave," you repeated, your voice cold and final.
Joel's shoulders slumped in defeat. He turned and walked out, the door closing softly behind him. The silence that followed was suffocating, a void that threatened to swallow you whole. You curled into a ball, the tears flowing freely nowâa torrent of pain and loss.
âGo to Sophie,â you whispered to the void, allowing yourself to cry.
Time seemed to stand still in that moment; your sobs were the only sound in the quiet room. You didn't know how long you lay there, but eventually, you heard a soft knock on the door.
Ellie's voice was hesitant when she called out your name, filled with a mix of anger and concern. "Can I come in?"
You didn't answer, but she opened the door anyway, slipping inside and closing it behind her. She looked at you, her expression torn between fury and sadness.
"Why did you do it?" she demanded, her voice shaking. "Why did you try to leave me too?"
You looked up at her, seeing the pain in her eyes and mirroring your own. "I... I didn't think I could handle it anymore," you admitted, your voice breaking. "I lost everything, Ellie. I lost you, I lost Joel, and I lost the baby. I didn't know how to go on."
Ellie walked over to you, her steps hesitant. "You didn't lose me. I'm still here," she said, her voice softening. "But you almost did. And I'm so mad at Joel. He should have saved you both. He should have done more."
âDo you think Joel doesnât love me anymore?â you sobbed. The pain in your voice broke Ellieâs heart.
She kneeled beside you, taking your hands in hers. "I donât know whatâs on his mind now," she admitted, her voice trembling. "But I do know he loves you. He's just... broken too. We're all broken."
You pulled her into a tight embrace, both of you crying together, sharing the weight of your grief. âI lost my baby because of him.â
Ellie held you tighter, her own tears mingling with yours. "Cry,â she said softly. "Blaming him won't bring the baby back. It won't help us heal. We have to find a way to forgive and move forward."
The two of you stayed like that for a long time, finding strange solace in each otherâs arms. The pain was still there, raw and overwhelming.
You were standing in the small kitchen of your home in Jackson, the dilapidated walls a far cry from the security of the life you once knew. But for a moment, you allowed yourself to dream of something better. Your hands trembled slightly as you held the small, worn piece of paperâa positive pregnancy test, a symbol of new life in a world consumed by death.
Joel walked in, weary from a long day of patrol. His eyes lit up when he saw you, but they quickly clouded with concern as he noticed the look on your face.
"What's going on?" he asked, setting down his backpack and walking over to you.
You took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves. "Joel, I have something to tell you,â you began, your voice shaking. "I'm pregnant."
For a moment, there was silence. Joel's expression shifted from confusion to shock, and then to something darkerâfear and maybe even anger.
"Pregnant?" he repeated, his voice rising slightly. "In this world? How could you be so irresponsible?"
The words hit you like a physical blow, your earlier excitement and hope crumbling into dust. "Irresponsible?" you echoed, your own voice rising defensively. "It takes two people to do this, you know.â
He shook his head, running a hand through his hair. "You know what itâs like out there! Every day is a fight for survival. We can barely keep ourselves alive, and now you want to bring a baby into this?â
âI know this is not the best way, but what do you want me to do?âÂ
âYou know what.â
Tears welled up in your eyes, but you fought them back, unwilling to show weakness at his suggestion. "I know it's dangerous, Joel. But it's also a chance for us to have a future. To have a reason to keep going."
Joel's face softened for a moment, but then the hard lines returned. "And what if we can't protect it? What if we lose it? Bringing a baby into this world... it's a death sentence."
You turned away, unable to look at him. "I thought you'd be happy," you whispered, the tears finally spilling over. "I thought this would be something good for us."
He reached out, but you stepped back, the distance between you growing. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice softer now, but the damage was done. "I just... I can't see how this can work."
You clutched the pregnancy test to your chest, tainted by doubt and fear. âAre you mad because of the baby, or what would Sophie think of this?" you questioned quietly.
Joel's expression faltered, and he looked away, unable to meet your gaze. The mention of Sophie seemed to strike a chord, bringing a new layer of tension to the room.
"Sophie has nothing to do with this," he muttered, but the words lacked conviction.
"Doesn't she?" You pressed, your voice rising. "She's always in the back of your mind, Joel. Every decision you make, every risk you take, it's always about protecting her."
"She's my partner in patrol,â he shot back, his voice growing louder. "Iâm just as protective as I am with everyone here! I can't fail her, or you. But this world... it's no place for a child."
You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. "I know you're scared, Joel. So am I. But we can't live our lives in fear. This baby is a chance for us to have something real, something good. Don't you see that?"
Joel's shoulders slumped, the weight of your words pressing down on him. He sighed, running a hand through his hair again. "I do see it," he admitted quietly. "But it doesn't change the reality we live in. I just... I don't know if I can take that risk."
The room fell silent, the tension hanging thick in the air. You turned away from him, your heart heavy with a mixture of hope and despair. "I'm going to do everything I can to protect this baby," you said firmly, your voice steady despite the tears streaming down your face. "With or without you."
Joel looked at you, pain and conflict warring in his eyes. He opened his mouth to say something but then closed it, shaking his head. He turned and walked out, leaving you standing alone in the kitchen, your heart breaking as the small symbol of hope in your hand seemed to grow heavier by the second.
The âI doâ and vows seemed so foreign in the back of your mind now.
A week had passed since your almost-death. The days were a blur of grief and small steps toward recovery. Ellie remained close; her presence was a constant reminder that there was still something worth fighting for. In your head, you felt guilt and pity, not strong enough to keep believing you were the same woman who arrived here. You were the gosh of a lively fighter who became a lifeless frame.
Maria approached you in the cafeteria, where you were trying to busy yourself. She had always been a pillar of strength in Jackson and a calming presence for you since the day you, Joel, and Ellie arrived.
"Hey," she said softly, her voice gentle. "How are you holding up?"
You shrugged, not trusting yourself to speak without breaking down. Maria sighed, pulling up a chair beside you. "I know it's hard. But you need to take things slow. You can't rush healing."
You nodded, though her words felt distant. The weight of your grief was a constant presence, making everything seem surreal. "I just... I don't know how to keep going. I donât know how to do this again," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper as Sarahâs lifeless frame came to your mind.
You had lost another child.
Maria reached out, squeezing your hand. "One day at a time," she said. "And remember, it's okay to lean on others. You don't have to do this alone."
You wanted to believe her, but the pain was too fresh and overwhelming. As the days turned into a week, you forced yourself to go through the motions, trying to find some semblance of normalcy. One afternoon, you found yourself in the cafeteria of Jackson. The noise and bustle were a stark contrast to the turmoil inside you.
Maria was there, talking to a few people, and she caught your eye, giving you an encouraging smile. You tried to smile back, but it felt forced. The weight of your loss was a constant shadow, making everything seem heavier.
As you moved through the line, Maria came over, her expression concerned. "Hey, remember what I said. Take it slow. You don't have to do everything at once."
Something inside you snapped. The pressure, the grief, the guiltâit all came crashing down. "Take it slow?" you repeated, your voice rising. "How am I supposed to take it slow when everything is falling apart? How am I supposed to keep going when I not only lost my baby but also my husband?!â
The cafeteria fell silent, all eyes turning towards you. You could feel the weight of their stares, the shock, and the pity. Your breath came in short, ragged gasps as the enormity of your outburst sank in.
Maria reached out, but you recoiled, your emotions spiraling out of control. "I don't need to take it slow!" you shouted, tears streaming down your face. "I need... I need..." You didn't even know what you needed; the pain was too overwhelming to articulate.
Joel was there in an instant, his face etched with worry. "Hey, hey," he said softly, reaching out to you. "It's okay. You're okay."
But you weren't okay. You felt like you were drowning, the weight of your grief pulling you under. You shook your head, backing away from him. "Don't touch me for fuck's sake! I don't want your dirty hands on me!â
Joelâs eyes glazed, but you didnât care. He had become the best of the man you had married ten years ago.
Joel's eyes glazed, but you didnât care. He had become the ghost of the man you had married ten years ago.
He froze, the words hitting him like a physical blow. The cafeteria's silence deepened, the tension thickening. You saw the pain in his eyes, a reflection of your own turmoil, but it did nothing to quell the anger and sorrow boiling inside you.
"I can't do this," you said, your voice breaking as you took a step back, your chest heaving with sobs. "I can't keep pretending that everything is going to be okay. Because it's not! Nothing is okay!"
Ellie pushed through the crowd, her face pale but determined. "Mom," she said, her voice steady despite the fear in her eyes. "We're here. We're all here. We'll get through this."
Joel looked helplessly at Ellie, then back at you. "Please," he whispered, his voice barely audible. "Just let us help."
You looked at him, the man who had once been your rock, now just a shadow of the person you had relied on. The anger still simmered beneath the surface, but Ellieâs presence brought a flicker of something elseâa reminder of why you needed to keep fighting.
Ellie wrapped her arms around you, holding you tightly as you sobbed into her shoulder. The room remained silent; the weight of your grief was palpable. But in that moment, you felt a glimmer of hopeâa reminder that you werenât alone and that you had people who loved you and who were willing to help you carry the burden.
Joel stepped closer, his hand hovering uncertainly at your back, not daring to touch you without permission. "Iâm so sorry," he murmured, his voice choked with emotion. "For everything. Iâm so, so sorry."
You took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to steady yourself. "You killed him," you snapped, your voice barely more than a whisper. "I canât forgive you.â
Joel's face crumpled, the weight of your words hitting him like a physical blow. He took a step back, his hand dropping to his side. The silence in the room grew heavier, and the tension was palpable.
"I know," he said, his voice barely audible. "I know I can never undo what I've done. I live with that guilt every day."
Your anger burned hot and fierce, like a wildfire consuming everything in its path. "You killed him," you repeated, the words tasting bitter on your tongue. "And you expect me to just forgive you? To move on like nothing happened?"
Joel shook his head, his eyes filled with sorrow. "No," he said softly. "I don't expect you to forgive me. I don't even know if I can forgive myself. But I want to try. I want to make things right as much as I can."
You looked at him, the man who had once been your partner, your confidant, now a stranger in the wreckage of your shattered life. The anger still burned hot within you, but beneath it, there was a flicker of something elseâpain, sorrow, and a desperate longing for the life you had lost.
"I don't know if I can do this," you admitted, your voice barely more than a whisper. "I don't know if I have the strength to forgive you."
Ellie's arms remained wrapped around you, a comforting presence amidst the turmoil. She gently guided you away from the cafeteria, her touch reassuring as you stumbled through the hallways of Jackson. The weight of your grief felt heavier with each step, but Ellie's presence gave you a glimmer of strength.
As you reached the door, Ellie helped you inside, guiding you to the small couch in the living area. She sat beside you, her eyes filled with concern.
"Are you okay?" she asked softly, her voice filled with worry.
You shook your head, the tears still streaming down your face. "I don't know," you admitted, your voice hoarse. "I just... I don't know how to deal with all of this."
Ellie reached out, taking your hand in hers. "We'll figure it out together," she said, her voice steady despite the tremor in her hands. "I promise."
You squeezed her hand tightly, grateful for her unwavering support. "Thank you, Ellie," you whispered, your voice choked with emotion.
She leaned in, wrapping you in a tight hug. "I love you, Mom," she said softly. "And I'll always be here for you, no matter what."
Tears pricked at your eyes as you hugged her back, her words echoing in your mind. "I love you too, Ellie," you whispered, your voice breaking with emotion.
As you and Ellie held each other close, the weight of her love and support was a balm to your wounded soul. But amidst the embrace, a knock on the door interrupted the moment, causing both of you to startle.
Ellie pulled back slightly, her eyes searching yours with concern. "Should I... Should I get that?" she asked, her voice hesitant.
You shook your head, wiping away your tears as you tried to compose yourself. "No, it's okay," you said, your voice still shaky. "I'll go."
Ellie nodded, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze before standing up from the couch. "I'll be in my room if you need me," she said softly, giving you a lingering look before leaving the living area.
As Ellie disappeared down the hallway, you took a deep breath, steeling yourself for what was to come. With trembling hands, you made your way to the door and opened it, revealing Joel standing on the other side.
His expression was a mix of worry and remorse as he looked at you, his eyes filled with a silent plea for forgiveness. "Can we talk?" he asked softly, his voice barely above a whisper.
You hesitated, the memories of your outburst in the cafeteria still fresh in your mind. But despite the anger and pain, there was a part of you that longed for closure, for a chance to understand.
"Okay," you said finally, stepping aside to let him in.
Joel entered the house, his footsteps hesitant as he crossed the threshold. The living room felt suffocatingly small as you both stood there, the weight of your shared grief hanging heavy in the air.
"I... I don't even know where to start," Joel said, his voice strained with emotion.
You took a deep breath, trying to find the words to express the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside you. "I just... I need to understand," you said, your voice barely more than a whisper. "I need to know why you did what you did."
The sun was setting, casting long shadows across the abandoned streets of the city. You and Joel had been scavenging for supplies, your footsteps echoing in the eerie silence that seemed to permeate every corner of the world.
You had felt uneasy all day, a knot of jealousy and insecurity twisting in your stomach at the sight of Sophie, her laughter ringing in your ears like a taunt.
You had implored Joel to come. You just wanted to feel as worthy and important to him as you used to, even in your state. But despite your misgivings, you had pushed them aside, focusing on the task at hand, determined to prove yourself capable and worthy of Joel's love and attention.
And then it happened.
If Joel had been more careful, he wouldnât have allowed you to come. But he didnât want to make you feel worthless.
A horde of infected had descended upon you, their snarls and growls a chilling symphony of death and despair. You had frozen; your mind was unable to comprehend the danger until it was too late.
But Joel had acted, his movements swift and sure as he pulled you away from the oncoming onslaught, his grip firm and unyielding.
And then he had seen her.
Sophie was trapped beneath the rubble, her screams echoing in the chaos as the infected closed in, their hunger insatiable.
And in that moment, something inside Joel shifted.
He had hesitated, torn between saving you and saving her, his eyes flickering with indecision, before he made his choice.
He had chosen Sophie.
He jumped off the horse, leaving you alone. You had watched in horror as he raced towards her, leaving you behind, your heart shattering into a million jagged pieces as the truth of his betrayal washed over you like a tidal wave.
You had screamed, your voice lost in the cacophony of the chaos, your tears mingling with the blood and dust that coated your skin.
And then the world went dark.
You fell from the horse, hitting the cobblestones hard. The pain was sharp and intense, searing through your body like a white-hot flame. You could hear the distant sound of screams and growls, the world around you spinning in a haze of confusion and agony.
Through the haze, you could dimly make out Joel's voice, calling out your name in desperation. But his words felt distant, a mere echo in the darkness that threatened to consume you.
And then, as suddenly as it had begun, the chaos subsided, leaving behind a heavy silence that pressed down on you like a weight. You tried to move, to call out, but your body felt numb and unresponsive. Your world went black.
"I need to know why, Joel," you repeated, your voice trembling with emotion. "Why did you choose her over us? Why did you leave me behind?"
Tears welled up in your eyes as you waited for his answer, the weight of his betrayal still fresh in your mind, a wound that refused to heal.
Joel's gaze dropped to the floor, his shoulders slumping with the weight of his guilt. "I... I don't know," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "I panicked. I made a mistake."
Anger surged within you at his words, a fiery rage that threatened to consume you. "A mistake?" you repeated, your voice rising with indignation. "You left me to die, Joel. You left our child to die. How could you call that a mistake?"
Joel flinched at your words, the pain in his eyes mirroring your own. "I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice choked with emotion. "I'm so, so sorry. You were my wife; I should.â
"Were you my wife?â You sobbed, âSince when is that in the past, Joel?â
Joel's words hung in the air like a heavy weight, his admission of guilt and regret piercing through the veil of anger and pain that enveloped you. But amidst the turmoil, there was a flicker of something elseâa longing for understanding, for closure, for a chance to heal.
"You are my wife," Joel repeated clearly, his voice trembling with emotion. "I should have protected you. I should have been there for you. But I failed. I failed both of you."
His words stirred something deep within youâa wellspring of grief and longing that threatened to overwhelm you. "And now?" you whispered, your voice barely more than a hoarse whisper. "What am I to you, Joel?"
Joel looked at you, his eyes filled with sorrow. Not uttering a word.
âDo you have feelings for Sophie?â You asked, fear creeping to your bones, not wanting to hear the answer.
Joel's silence spoke volumes; his hesitation was a weighty presence in the air between you. You held your breath, afraid of what his answer might be and of the truth that lay hidden in the depths of his gaze.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Joel spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. "I... I don't know," he admitted, his words heavy with uncertainty. "
âYou love her,â you stated. âThatâs why you chose her.â
Joel's silence in response to your accusation only confirmed your worst fears, leaving a bitter taste in your mouth and a heavy ache in your chest. The truth hung in the air, stark and undeniable, like a shadow cast by the setting sun.
Tears stung your eyes as you struggled to process the betrayal, the pain of Joel's admission cutting through you like a knife. The realization that he might love Sophie and might have chosen her over you and your unborn child was a blow that threatened to shatter you completely.
"I can't do this," you whispered, your voice barely more than a broken plea. "I can't stay here, knowing... knowing that I'll never be enough for you. Living in a world like this is already hell, but you made it even worse. You made me feel disgusted by myself, worthless, and ashamed," you shouted. "You're a fucking coward."
Joel flinched at your words, the truth of your accusations cutting through him like a knife. For a moment, it seemed as though he might speak, might try to defend himself, but he remained silent, his gaze fixed on the floor.
"Hate me; I'll wait. Until you forgive," he finally said, his voice barely more than a whisper.
You shook your head, tears streaming down your face as you struggled to find the words to express the depth of your pain. "Forgive you?" you chuckled bitterly. "I won't."
There are two types of grievances. The one who met the spirits in death and the one who met with the ghosts of someone who should have died in front of you. You still couldn't comprehend which one was worse. Both were painful, and both watered your eyes. But having the ghost of someone who brought you warm, freezing your aura while slipping from your grasp, leaving you crying to yourself till your head tired up and there wasn't anything left that fell into the voiceless world of sleeping, where in your dreams, you were still the same woman in the white dress, marrying the love of your life.
"I needed my husband! I need him now! And the worst thing is, I still need you, but you're just a fucking phantom."
"I'm still here," he exclaimed.
"No, you're not.".
"It wasn't even born!" Joel said.
The silence met souls leaving the lovers's bodies.
You were left speechless, tears ricocheting. Your heart was clenched in pain, and your throat felt like it was being torn apart by a monster.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"
"Save it," you spat. You were exhausted, and your heart hurt so much that you couldn't even feel it beating anymore. "Sorry if grieving my baby was such a burden to you."
As you turned back to face Joel, the weight of your words hung heavy in the air, a painful reminder of the gaping chasm of loss that lay between you.
"Let me remind you of something, Joel," you said, your voice trembling with emotion. "Losing Sarah was the worst thing that happened to us, and just imagine how it is for me to know I carried her and this baby just to lose them both."
Joel's expression softened, a flicker of remorse crossing his features as he looked at you, his eyes filled with regret. "I know," he said softly, his voice heavy with sorrow.
"I'll move out," Joel said suddenly, his voice tinged with resignation. "So you can bring your new lover here and make all the babies you want."
His words cut through you like a knife, a painful reminder of the irreparable rift that had formed between you. "You know what really broke me?" you sobbed, the words tumbling out in a rush of emotion. "You... you're the biggest loss of my life, but as much as I love you, I despise you the same. You're the loss of my life I will be yours. There's no way back from this, Joel."
As the weight of your words hung heavy in the air, you reached for the wedding band adorning your finger, a symbol of a love that had once been unbreakable but now lay shattered at your feet.
With trembling hands, you removed the ring, feeling its weight in your palm as you stared at it, the memories of happier times flashing before your eyes like a cruel mockery of the present.
Without a second thought, you flung the ring towards Joel, watching as it spun through the air before landing at his feet with a soft thud.
"There," you said, your voice choked with emotion. "Take it. Take everything that remains of us."
Joel looked down at the ring, his expression unreadable as he reached out to pick it up and his fingers trembling as he held it in his palm.
"I don't want this," he whispered, his voice barely more than a hoarse whisper.
But you shook your head, tears streaming down your face as you stared at him, the pain of his betrayal a raw wound that refused to heal. "I don't want it either," you said, your voice barely more than a broken whisper. "But it's all we have left."
And with that, you turned away, unable to bear the weight of his presence any longer. The wounds he had inflicted upon you ran deep, a festering wound that refused to heal.
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