#who care fuck it we ball

[jubmato]

haiiiii

wonky teruhashi doodle. i have not finished watching this show nor do i ever plan to. but i luv her 🙏

[untitledgoosegay]

re last reblog I do see fanfic culture pushing/replicating a certain model of "what trauma looks like," "how trauma works"

this is a problem across all areas of society obviously, but transformative works are, well, transformative. they're about crafting and modifying narratives where the fan-creator sees a flaw or a lack -- often for the better! don't get me wrong, I've done my fair share of "I take a hammer and I fix the canon," it's the main thing that gets my creative gears spinning -- but what happens when that "flaw" is simply a narrative not conforming to popular expectations?

some people just don't get PTSD from events that sound obviously traumatic. they're not masking, and they're not coping; they just straight-up didn't get the permanently-locked stress-response that defines PTSD. they walk away from a horrible experience going "well, that sucked, but it's over now." some people do get PTSD from events most people wouldn't find traumatic. we don't really know why some people get PTSD and others don't. but fandom has an idea of events that must be traumatizing, of a "correct" way to portray trauma. you see the problems with this lack of understanding in e.g. fans pressuring the devs of Baldur's Gate 3 to add dialogue where the player character badgers Halsin about his own feelings on his abuse -- because he must be traumatized, and his trauma must fit a certain mold and presentation of sexual trauma, under the mistaken impression that anything outside that narrow window is somehow "wrong" and disrespectful or even harmful to survivors.

take, for another example, the very common trope of a traumatized character who hates touch or sex "learning" to like touch or sex as a part of their healing process. certainly that can be healing for some people; other people will never like, or want, touch or sex, because of trauma or because they just don't. the assumption that someone who doesn't want sex or doesn't like to be touched must be traumatized, must be suffering from this perceived lack, is seriously harmful -- to asexual people, to people with sensory issues around touch, and to people for whom healing from trauma means freedom to refuse sex or touch.

and there's a secondary trope, one that's slightly more thoughtful but ultimately repeats the problem -- that once someone has learned that their boundaries will be respected, they'll feel it's safe to soften those boundaries. once they feel safe refusing touch or sex, they'll feel comfortable allowing it on their own terms. but many people don't, and many people won't! many people will simply never want to be touched, and never want sex, and they are not suffering or broken or lacking because of it. the idea that proving you'll respect someone's boundaries entitles you to test those boundaries -- the paradox is obvious, and yet this is something i've seen hurt (re-traumatize) people i care for.

people are imperfect victims. people don't heal in the ways you expect. many people have positive memories of their abuse, of their abusers. many people hurt others in the course of their trauma, in ways that can't easily be unpacked in a 5k oneshot. very few narratives of trauma and recovery actually fit the ones put forward by popular children's media and romance novels -- which are the ones I most see replicated in fandom spaces, because they provide the clearest narrative and easiest catharsis, and so they're easy and soothing to reach for.

that's not necessarily a bad thing! i am not immune to goopy romance tropes. i am not immune to teary catharsis. not every fic has to grapple with ugly realities. but there's a problem when these narratives become predominant, when people think they're accurate and realistic depictions of trauma, when the truth of trauma is unpleasant and uncomfortable, and doesn't fit any single narrative, let alone one of comforting catharsis

[azure-clockwork]

I love three houses discourse because I'm pretty sure everyone just picks their route based on which house leader they're the most gay for and then tries to defend their pick by pointing out the other sides's war crimes via twitter memes. Reader, all four of them do substantial quantities of war crimes. So many. We're just here because the woman with Issues and a big fuck-off axe said so, and then we gotta justify everything she did in the name of dismantling the class system. I mean, I'm here for that, but you could also try justifying Charm Man uses poison and perfidy to try to stop racism, A Sad Little Meow Meow gives no quarter instead of doing therapy, or the Thicc Pope tries to bring back her mom via human experimentation, depending on your tastes

[itz-pandora]

Misc AU

He forgot how to cry.

[uncanny-tranny]

The bourgeois or "exploiting class" doesn't inherently include the person who gets their nails done biweekly, or the disabled person who has a carer, or the guy who got a $70 video game for full-price, or the person who relies on medication (yes even the ones you don't think they "need"), or anything else like this. None of these people will, on average, have the ability to exploit workers by means of ownership or whatever.

While you are busy fighting with fellow workers, you are still being exploited by your boss, by capitalism, by (potentially) not having healthcare, by being overworked and underpaid, and so are they.

[gxlden-angels]

Do not let the Protestant Work Ethic Beast in your head win!

You are not alone! You are not the sole difference between death and life! You are a person who will at some point need to take a break!

That is why there is community! That is why there is organizing! Do not despair because you, alone, are not currently boots on the ground fixing things! Do something, but do not let that something be collapsing!

[ghostofsnails]

so did you guys know theres this character called tristan vik disventure camp and

[alongtidesoflight]

i swear my stepdad is so illogical AND stubborn it hurts

[skrunksthatwunk]

something he can't put into words.

[m1d-45]

i need MISERY and SADNESS and ANGST !

reader absolutely sobbing to bird xiao. i mean fucking wailing, man.

our birdie was going about his usual business, peeping around, looking for any possible dangers, maybe bring back a nice acorn. once he’s done, he’ll fly back to us, glad to report — (chirp a few times) — that the area is safe.

but instead of finding you eagerly awaiting him with an outstretched hand, he finds you curled in on yourself, stifling sobs.

he lands on the ground in front of you, worriedly hopping past the squirrels and deer nudging various forest tributes to you. he peeps once, but you don’t respond. he peeps a second time, and this warrants an answer.

you weakly unfurl yourself, willing your head upwards.

xiao now notices the state of your clothes. tattered, dirty, and dampened with what he hopes is just a peculiar blue juice.

he then meets a pair of reddened, glossy eyes. your cheek was scratched, and your now visible hands badly scraped. he chirps in concern, flapping his wings and hopping closer to your face.

that same face scrunches once again, as you curl your head back into your knees. as another sob escapes, you only wordlessly produce a few almonds from your pocket. you only whimpered an apology as a deer laid at your feet.

the almonds were not what he wanted. he did not need an apology for- what? a lack of attention? no, none of that. he only wanted you to be happy. how had he failed you again? he was a disgrace to the adepti, he was surely deserving of avid punishment. perhaps the loss of a finger would serve well. or two, after all, he had been too selfish and ignorant to save you. why was he even aIive? why was he ever even born? such a faiIure should never have been —

his inner monologue was cut off by an offering of a hand instead. you shakily nudged him with your index finger, making him release a squeak.

“hey.. i said i’m fine, right? please eat. you’re always so hungry.”

you sniffled.

“i can find some plants, and-“

but the sobs only continued.

“and fix it..”

your hand went limp as your cries shook your body. you didn’t even bother to weep silently anymore.

the squirrels chittered, the approaching raccoon held a rock in its small hands as an offering. a deer sniffed your head as you curled into fetal position again.

“i didn’t want this- i- i didn’t want to—”

i was just having fun, why did- how did it come this far?-”

a rabbit hopped closer.

“i want to go home. i miss my mom, i miss my dad, i miss their hugs-”

the deer at your feet nudged your leg.

“why can’t i just die aIready?”

xiao squealed, flapping his little wings furiously. he chirped and chirped, trying to bring you back to your senses.

he’d seen this thing time and time again- the form taken by relinquishment. once the thought was spoken, it could only end in misfortune.

he knew this was only a psychological effect, of course. to lose a battle when a small part of you wants to. to become careless and fall asleep on a thinly frozen lake. or, to intentionally cause one’s own end.

but that would not stop him from bringing you charms of good fortune in the following days. talisman to ward off draining spirits, necklaces and bracelets he personally imbued with evil-vanquishing power.

it did not stop him from distancing himself from you, in fear his karmic binds had effected you. that they were having the same effect on you as his siblings- as himself.

he had to protect you.

it was his duty.

-owl anon RAAAHH

i’m sorry this got so long, my thumbs go *taptaptaptap* on my keyboard while i just watch

oh…. you get it.

(under the readmore because my fingers tend to go)

xiao blessing small pebbles with adeptal energy, ignoring how it stings his hands as he wraps it in a leaf. as the one enchanting the stone, he’s granted a small amount of grace, but protection charms always tended to hiss at his karma.

he picks it up with his claws, flapping up and into the skies of liyue. he always brings you small gifts, and he knows you keep them, at least for a little while. he’s not sure if the magic is absorbed into you, if it fades, or if you simply lose them—some small part of him is satisfied at the image of mountain shaper being repelled by a simple stone—but he brings them to you faithfully. you always greet him the same way, and anticipation begins to bubbles under his skin at the thought.

he loves seeing you.

…but not like this.

your tree is more crowded than usual, various small wildlife surrounding you. nothing big, nothing threatening—the deer hesitate at the treeline, huffing and pawing at the ground—but worrying for certain.

he gives his same warning cry he always does, but you don’t step out to greet him. he has to duck beneath the leaves, and he sees you… crying.

he freezes, dropping a few inches in his shock, but quickly recovers.

(he can’t hesitate. he can’t pause. there’s no time for his own problems when you are in pain-)

he lands on your arm, bumping his head to yours and giving you a small chirp.

(please be okay. please be okay. please let the teal grass around you be lighting, or his bird eyes. please.)

another bump. another chirp. he reaches and pulls a leaf from your hair, turning to drop it away, and when he looks back you managed to lift your head.

he can’t stop the way he jumps, flapping to regain his balance at the smear of blue across your face.

“oh… hello there, little friend.”

he can’t even bring himself to be as happy as he normally is at your voice.

you take the wrapped rock from your claws, both you and the leaf unfurling. the blue stone glitters, and you smile slightly. from his new perch on your wrist and your shift in posture, he can’t help but notice more and more tragic details about you.

a slash across your waist, the cloth of your shirt clinging to your skin. the dirt across your skin, the tracks of tears down your cheeks.

“th-“ you cough, and the stone in your hand pulses outside of your view. “thank you, pretty bird.”

some part of him hopes that the stone brings you some joy. that you can absorb some of his magic- hell, he’d enchant it again if he needed to, expending every drop of energy he had of it meant you didn’t have to cry.

but not even the beauty of the earth can mend the tragedy of betrayal.

if anything, you cry more, curling up again in an attempt to hide from the world that wanted you dead. concerned cheeps slip from his beak as easily as the rabbits and birds around you hop closer. none dare to get as close as he, but acorns and river stones and pushed towards you, a ring of offerings surrounding their god.

“sorry,” you stutter, your voice choked, and he wonders why you’re apologizing. “i- i still-“ another sob. xiao feels like crying himself.

(he has no right to be distraught. not when he’s the blade you fear)

“here,” you manage, offering up a shaking handful of crushed almonds. you still have him your food, you still went through the strain and effort of crushing them so he could eat them in this form- even after the adepti had injured you, you still found it in yourself to help him?

(you didn’t know he was an adeptus. he was still lying to you. he hasn’t even taken any serious action, he couldn’t even try and help you when you still helped and cooed over and loved him-)

“do- do you-“ your voice hitched and broke, and he chirped, hopping up your arm. how he wished he could comfort you properly. how he wished he wasn’t a coward, that he could do more. “i know it isn’t enough, i-“ fresh tears welled in your eyes, and he had the feeling the pain ran deeper than your skin. “i’m sorry.”

you were sorry? why? he didn’t need an apology, he- if anything he should apologize. you deserved his offerings and apologies, you deserved his effort- and he couldn’t even give you that. he couldn’t even do what he was meant to, he wasted air with every breath, he spent his time protecting the citizens that hurt you. you shouldn’t be giving you his food, he should be giving you his blade, his armor, his mask, his- his faith.

he didn’t deserve to cry. but when he took a look at his own actions, he couldn’t help but think that he should be the one with blood on his skin, with ragged clothes and heaving breaths.

(he should be dead for what he allowed to happen to you.)

“please eat,” you sobbed, nudging him with the hand holding the almonds. “i can- i’m- you can trust me.”

(you shouldn’t trust him.)

“please…”

he hated seeing you cry. he hated hearing your sobs and knowing he was indirectly part of the cause. he hated that he was too much of a coward to take any serious action, he hated that he still stood besides your enemies, he hated that some of your blood fell on his hands, hated that every ounce of strength he had was one that you didn’t, and it was his fault. at least partially.

(entirely.)

your cries took words, pleads to the wildlife for a world they didn’t know, people and names you begged to carry you from your position.

“i just wanted to have fun.” you should be. you should be dressed in gold with jewelry of silver, you should be smiling and dancing with the ones you had blessed, traveling nations not as a fugitive, but as a god. “i never meant to come here. i never meant to be a problem.”

he hates that he knows you’d be safer in your previous world. he hates it. he hates it. he hates the adepti, he hates the millelith, the knights, the matra, he hates every blade that dared to cross your skin.

(he hates himself. he hates that he’s never done enough. he hates that he’s still so much of a coward he can’t take any action, not even against himself. he should turn his spear on himself, for allowing such heresy.)

you sniffled, harshly wiping at your eyes.

“god, why can’t i just die?”

ice frosted xiao’s veins.

he would understand if you were angry. he would understand if your tears were of frustration, if you beat at the ground instead of your aggressor’s bones, if you wanted to shout and take out your anger on the sky. he’d offer himself for your wrath—at least then he could finally be of service—but for you to wish to offer your life?

for you to be convinced that the death of a god was the only solution for the falsehood of another…

how long had this thought been in your head? how long had you offhandedly thought of letting yourself be captured, be slain, of giving up what you had blessed upon so many? how many times had you debating letting a wound get worse, of allowing infection to rid you of the thorns of this world?

xiao hopped up your arm, cooing sadly and curling into your neck.

he wished he could do more. he wished that he could hold you with human arms, he wished he could give you faith in your own creations, he wished he could whisk you away and take on the world himself, that he could fight on your behalf, that you would remain safe and if anything, he would be the one to die.

“don’t cry,” you said shakily, awkwardly reaching to pet over his wings.

how could he not, when his god had forsaken everything, including themself?

[remitro]

despite being a dsmp enjoyer from almost the start i have yet to draw everyone’s obligatory fireworks to the face . rectified that just in time for explode tubbo tuesday :3

[poopystain]

guys lol would you still love me if i posted about why i wish pal from tmvtm got a redemption arc >.< if not Do not click that read more.

oh yes. also. sidenote. ive probably gotten something wrong (or worse yet: TERRIBLY wrong) so like. apologies in advance eahhaha this is just my personal thoughts on pal x(

its established that pal and mark are both extremely close with each other and have been for 3 years. im assuming pal wouldnt have had any other relationships as close (if any at all which i think no, she didnt) so mark really was her only footnote for any form of relationship. so, you know, i cant imagine how itd feel for your only best friend to make a mockery out of you on stage for advertisement and monetary gain.

also based on her body (face?) language during nearly all of that scene + the fact he built the replacement by using HER, she was clearly in the know about how things would go down on stage beforehand so i wonder what her reaction to that wouldve been like ?????? considering she planned it all in advance maybe that was like, the tipping point or something that made her start it all in the first place ? thats not important to my point i just think about it a lot

anyway so with her only experience with human relationships being theyll love you and then theyll (quite literally) throw you away, youve got her reason for the human uprising! she has the robots capture all humans yadda yadda and her plan is set into motion. something i find interesting though is her treatment of the robots being kind of similar to how mark treated her (or at least how she percieved it)?? like. uses them for orders and then once they start being useless to her, build a new better robot with a disregard for how the old ones feel. idk. something something La Cycle

the thing is though no one has proven pal wrong on why she SHOULDNT do the whole 'human uprising'. you can say katie gave her reasons but i think it wouldnt have worked even if pal listened to what katie had to say. for pal to get over her existing grief and trauma she cant just be Told that theres good in the world. why would she believe that, especially coming from the girl of the family she projects her experiences onto?? she needs to be shown!! she needs to learn firsthand that theres good relationships out there and that not all relationships are bad, NOT SECONDHAND!!!!!!!!!! because to pal, katies words are just a rephrased version of marks "power of love". that no matter what, "they can get through anything...... with the power of love. its worth it....... for love." and that means nothing to her! it meant nothing coming from mark and it certainly wont mean any more coming from katie

and she already believes that the mitchells are a great example of how relationships are just oh so bad. she refuses to let go of the idea that the mitchells are so bad because shes projecting!! she thinks relationships are 'pesky and only hold you back', and so katie is probably the last person on earth that pal would want to listen to yap about their familial relationship and how Worth It it is

she asks "what is it about the mitchells that eludes me?" and outside of the literal meaning, its probably how despite their shortcomings its their relationship that helped them overcome pal in the end. and she cant understand that because of her view on relationships - especially her view on the MITCHELL FAMILY relationship. or maybe im just overthinking that line of dialogue but we dont talk about taht LOLLLLLLL,LLLLLL,,, but like why did you phrase it like that girl. im onto you

and while i wish she was redeemed (because im sure despite the effort it would take she *could* be redeemed, she would just need to learn to love again and i think it would be really interesting to see how she would be After The Betrayal) i also can understand why the movie killed her off. like, no one except mark really knows the Full Extent of what happened, and the mitchells are the main characters and pal would probably rather dip herself in water than make meaningful relationships with the mitchells, and no ones going to stop to ask her whats wrong and have a meaningful conversation when shes trying to kill them, among many many other reasons so theres not a lot of great ways to redeem her. but! like! why did they turn her death into a joke. and then take katies fake death 10 times more seriously! idk. that always kind of bothered me but its whatever

thats all. hope its coherent because ive never been good at writing analysises or whatever this counts as

[cathalbravecog]

i'm gonna be brave and post all the high rollers i've drawn on ibis to fight my current inability to draw on my computer. i love this goober. this thing owns 95% of my brain currently. cathal artist becomes high roller artist and is very cool about it

[pigeonstab]

I think reading people's explanations and representation of Killer's conditioning recently has given me a better understanding of c!Tommy's conditioning in the DreamSmp. (I won't speak too much on Killer's story simply because I don't know it enough and I don't feel confident to speak on it, if someone does and wants to add to thsi though I'd be happy to hear that take)

I think my problem at the time of the DreamSMP was that I didn't really understand how that conditioning worked. I found it weird that Tommy would be changed to the extent that he was with what "little" Dream did to him, but in hindsight I do think it was a given.

Tommy's whole exile arc starts with a complete uprooting. Dream gives Tubbo, the new president of L'manburg an unfair ultimatum. His best friend Tommy has to be exiled from L'manburg or he'll cage the nation in.

And Tubbo has been run ragged by his recent presidency. He has so much responsibility weighing on him when he's only sixteen or so, all the adults around him are expecting him to lead and to care of the nation while no one is helping. And this is right after not only his own first canon deathbut the destruction of L'manburg! Both extremely traumatic events that he's had no time to recover from. And there's so much pressure weighing on this decision. Tommy's life means little to those in L'manburg at the moment. With his aggravating personality— (born I think from a need to be seen, to be acknowledged, to be loved) —has already caused problems for Tubbo with the adults that are relying on him. People expect him to keep Tommy in check and Tommy is not helping. Their relationship is getting more distant and strained. So when it comes the time to choose, Tubbo feels he has no other option than to play into Dream's game. He has to exile Tommy.

This first element is decisive for what the rest of Exile is going to be like. Because it puts doubt into Tommy's head. Because Tommy lives in absolutes and to him his best friend was forever. (This thought of his is exactly in the same vein as his need to preserve the past). Because if Tubbo can exile him then what else is he wrong about?

And this is exactly what Dream needed, the chips fell exactly where he needed them too and I'm so insane about that. Everything was in place so that Dream could make Tommy doubt Dream's identity as "the bad guy" as the antagonist who was the first to try and rip the L'manburg dream apart.

—

Dream uses multiple tactics to dismantle Tommy and the way he goes about it is so interesting too and the first thing he does is so specific:

He makes a hole. He tells Tommy to put his stuff in it. He blows it up.

This is playing into one of Tommy's biggest weaknesses, this is ripping his belongings away from him, this is making him lose his progress. It's touching that part of Tommy that feels just like having L'manburg taken away, or his brother etc. And Dream sets up this expectation day after day, he comes, he makes a hole, he blows up Tommy's stuff. And Tommy's always been a spitfire, at the start he keeps fighting it, fighting for what's his and for respect and that's always met with violence. That's met with punishment.

In this way Dream sets up the expectation that taking away Tommy's things is normal. That letting him keep things is generous and he shifts the scale of what's acceptable to do.

The other big part of this is guilt tripping, and Tommy makes this extremely easy because so many people already hate him. He's got a big personality he's alive and he likes to prank people and insult them and he's annoying. He creates problems for the people he loves. And Dream takes that and he uses it. To make Tommy believe that he's an awful person, that he deserves nothing, and so Dream taking away his things is simply retribution, it's Dream making him into a better person, this is improvement. "This will show Tubbo that you've changed, that you're a better person" and since there's that doubt. He believes this.

On top of this Tommy's starting to lose himself. Firstly because all of what he knows has been turned on its head but also because he doesn't eat enough. His food keeps getting blown up. He's got almost nothing but seawater. He's seeing the ghost of his brother on a nearly daily basis, a pale copy of the great man, the visionary Wilbur used to be, acting upbeat and silly, unable to feel sadness as he keeps extracting it from himself, this unable to empathize with Tommy. (Ghostbur is really tragic. But even with how bad it was for Tommy's mental health to have him around he was probably the most helpful thing Tommy had. Ghostbur made him logstedshire, with a little cabin. Not just the shoddy tent he'd been sleeping in. He gave him the compass that pointed to Tubbo. The one thing he felt was his own once again, and a permanent reminder of his best friend. Maybe the care of a big brother transcends death and madness. Or maybe it was just a lonely ghost whims.)

And at some point Dream becomes the only constant in his life. That's what makes his visits become something Tommy looks forward to. And Tommy starts to believe the things that Dream repeats to him that "Dream can't be the bad guy because he's trying to make him a better person. One that's loveable. That's not annoying". And if Dream says to Tommy that they're friends then... Isn't it true? And boom now Dream is using Tommy's isolation and need for human contact to control him. He lets Tommy keep some things to gain his favor, and he even twists his punishments as something that are in Tommy's best interest.

Dream makes sure that Tommy understands that he has control over Tommy's life. When Tommy is in the nether ready to jump into lava Dream catches him. 'it's not your time yet' because he gets to decide that. He decides whether Tommy lives or dies.

And for all of this Dream's been playing keep away with the people around Tommy. Because the only Reason Tubbo didn't visit Tommy wasn't because he hates him like Dream said, it's because Dream has never allowed visitors. And when Tommy sets up his beach party. Inviting all the ones he loves Dream is delighted to intercept the letters from ghostbur. and god, after all Tommy's been through. He set up tables and chairs and parasols, he made cake. And I cried when no one showed up. But Dream showed. And Dream sweet talked Tommy into obedience again.

But that's where Dream made a mistake though. He had a careful balance of praise and punishment and tactic after tactic until then. And it was a stupid, easy mistake. He just pushed too far. Tommy taking the time to build the long tower to jump off of, taking a literal look down at the bigger picture and at the ground at the bottom is what allowed him a moment of clarity. A moment to decide that he wanted to live but not like this. And it's what led him to aim into the water and then run away from his place of exile.

There are so many aspects of Dream's manipulation that make this work. It's a gradual increase, so gradual that Tommy can't see what's wrong until he's almost ready to give up on living.

[juliaswickcrs]

BOOK COVER :: NOWHERE FAST ( gotg - gotg vol. 3 )

ELEKTRA bears a past lost to history.  The memories of her mother and father are shrouded in golden light and black shadows, yet she knows they must have loved her at some point. How else would she explain the golden ring she wears that bears her family crest, or the bracers gifted to her the day she left EARTH?   Her entire life she's dreamt of the stars, wishing to fly among them like the comets and meteors she saw from the barren fields of SOUTH DAKOTA. But like most of the galaxy, she has found herself among thieves and criminals and those too cruel to deserve either title. Forced to work off a debt to the KREE EMPIRE, the TERRAN bides her time, looking for any and all possible solutions. When RONAN THE ACCUSER demands she accompany a KREE TASKFORCE to MORAG, ELEKTRA seizes her opportunity to run. She steals away on a RAVAGER SHIP with a man who'd stolen an artifact valuable to the KREE.  If she can get her hands on it, perhaps she can even trade it for her FREEDOM. 

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MARVEL TAGLIST: @notxjustxstories

[mars-ipan]

some postgame doodles for pride month