#who are accepted with their neurodivergency and queerness and even something so little like their favorite movie

[yourpalmalika]

[shinjiikar1]

I've been trying to think about what I want to say about these first two episodes of Love in the Big City. I'm watching it slowly, it's a show that makes me want to sit rather than rush ahead, and it also hits a little too close to home to enjoy freely (I've only watched the first two episodes so far and my knowledge of the rest of the story is fairly vague so bear with me).

Go Young experiences two major losses. The parallels between these losses, what could have been vs. what can never be again was what particularly stood out to me.

Mi Ae represents a beautiful time that is forever lost. After she gets married, there's no one he can be fully himself with. He simply doesn't have another relationship on that level, platonic or otherwise, and that's truly such an isolating experience. Who do you call when you're in trouble? Who do you complain to? Who will always be your first port of call?

Often, youthful friendships are particularly intense, you're at a point where the world feels so enormous but you don't quite know what to do with it, or yourself yet. Everything still feels new and exciting. You meet people who understand you in ways you've never been understood and can't imagine it won't last forever.

And then you experience that loss for the first time.

Kim Nam Gyu experiences it too. It's clear early in their relationship that Go Young is overwhelmed and uncomfortable with the intensity of Nam Gyu's feelings (his expressions during the padlock and ring scenes in particular). He feels suffocated and anxious, he's not ready for it. So, rather harshly (at least the first time) he ends things. I've been on both ends, which makes it a lot easier to empathize with both of them. While I feel for Nam Gyu incredibly (especially as I read him as very neurodivergent), that discomfort is not something easily resolved, and it's only made worse by his inability to move on. But how can he when he also has no one else?

In the end, Go Young mentions that he missed out on what could have been a long and lasting love with Nam Gyu but I wonder if that's true. Would he have eventually opened up and reciprocated that intensity? Or would he have continued to wallow in his discomfort and let that resentment pile up even further? It's hard to say, but based on the way he behaves, I think the latter. He just wasn't in a stage of life to accept it yet, without the experiences he has with Mi Ae, and without Nam Gyu's death, would he have made it to that point before it became too much? He says he didn't really believe love was possible for someone like him, it took him a lot to get to the point where he even starts to believe it; I find it hard to imagine that he could've gotten there purely through a relationship with Nam Gyu at that stage, as sad as that might be.

Mi Ae offers a bit of an interesting foil here. She chooses loss, but the loss of her authentic self. She chooses the safe option, a stable relationship and job, pleasing her parents, following societal expectations. Maybe the guy isn't quite right, but in the end what seems most important to her is that security, and she's willing to take a loss to get it. As others in the tags have pointed out, Go Young doesn't have that option. There is no option that will (mostly) guarantee him security and safety that would even be remotely tolerable and grant him any degree of happiness. Perhaps he could have chosen to lose parts of himself to be with Nam Gyu, but that wouldn't have provided him the type of security Mi Ae enjoys. If something went wrong and it didn't work out, he could stand to lose even more.

I think that's something that a lot of cishet people fail to understand, and part of what these episodes have done so well for me. Really underlining how the queer experience differs and how isolating it can be (which I think is reflected in Nam Gyu as well).

[gor3sigil]

About being a freak, queer, trans etc.

In all the years I've spent going back and forth with my gender, being sure one day and unsure the next about how I wanted to present, if I wanted to be more fem or masc, if I wanted to be neither of them, there's one thing that I never wished: I never wished to be born cis.

There's something so magical in being trans. To me it's like a never ending childlike wonder of myself and others. I see my body as a white canvas I can do anything with and as a playground for me to explore and find secrets at every turn. It's shedding so many times that I had hundreds of silhouettes and I'm not even 30. It's seeing the most deepest and honest smiles when you hang out with your peers, and they're fully themselves and you are fully yourself even if it's just for one moment.

Being trans is being more naked than ever. My understanding of my own flesh at its core like I'm dissecting it once a year is so whole and complete. Noticing the patterns, the intricate map of my skin, how it grows and stretch with every change even well before HRT as I was practicing new poses and expressions and clothes.

I don't see myself as a flower, I see myself as a whole garden, with bees and critters everywhere, bursting with life in the warmth of the sun under a sky as blue as the cleanest seas.

Regarding the way others see me, mind you, I always was, and I mean ALWAYS, all my life, seen as a freak.

Try to picture this, even tnough you maybe can because this is the story of a whole bunch of us: growing up as a goth, queer and undiagnosed autistic girl, in a little shitty town, the last child of a family of disabled and neurodivergent folks that everyone saw as a family of, well, freaks. The teachers at school knew your brother who was bullied, and your sister who always caused troubles. They don’t know which of these paths you’re going to take but they sure as hell don’t like you. And the only other queer kids you know are a couple of girls who’d chugg down vodka before class in middle school because they were not accepted at home and bullied during recess.

My first queer relationship, also in middle school, was the typical “I loved her to the moon and back but she only wanted to experiment” and it tore down my soul. It took me years to recover from this. I think that, apart from my longest relationship to date, I never put that much of myself into someone I loved. But she was just goofing around and I mean, fair, we were kids, but man did it hurt. I resented her for years after. Now I just hope she’s happy and doing the job she always dreamed of doing.

Anyways, all that to say that I was used to being seen as an outcast. I hated that for years and tried and tried again and again to fit in. It doesn’t work. Because this in not the answer. Remember when I said that my family members were always all disabled ? My father espacially was physically disabled (and probably also autistic but undiagnosed), and he’s still to this day one of the most ableist person I’ve ever met. He knew his kids weren’t “normal”. He fought tooth and nails for us to fit in. Because that’s how he survived. But despite it all, it never worked. Because you can’t force your way into society’s standards.

I never felt more free than when I just gave up trying to. If I was going to be seen as weird anyways, might as well go all the way. Dress as I please, date who I wanted (another story for another time but it didn’t go as planned), enjoy the shit I enjoyed, unapologetically. And guess what ? It stopped the bullying. Because I gained confidence in myself and most of all, pride. I grew proud of being an outcast, so much so that people just started to be like “well, they’re like that anyways” and left me the fuck alone.

I’m rambling lmao but I think it’s important to be aware that nobody will live your life for you. Being your weird self, it’s so hard, butn so rewarding. More rewarding than anything. You’ll start making new relationships based on you TRUE self, you’ll go all the way for your passions, and trust me, you’ll be more free than anyone who bent themselves to fit in the mold and still need to painfully stretch their limbs everyday to keep the act on.

I know that sometimes it’s something you have to do to survive, and that’s perfectly okay. But don’t forget to keep your true self close and to let them out from time to time, okay ? Water down your inner garden. That’s the only way you will truly live.

[intothedysphoria]

The podcast was Steve’s idea.

It had started with a joke from Heather. She’d took one look at Billy and Steve’s accidentally matching gym clothes and told them they looked like a failing alpha bro podcast duo. The type of guys who’d talk about being alpha males. Billy had laughed hard but it had made Steve think.

They’d been best friends since kindergarten and were functionally inseparable. Billy had seen Steve through a long period of deep, dark depression and Steve liked to think he’d helped Billy through Neil. Most podcasts Steve had listened to, the hosts didn’t even sound like they liked each other. They’d be perfect.

It took Steve about a month to convince Billy to put himself in front of a microphone. For a guy with a 300k follower Instagram thirst trap account, Billy was crushingly self conscious about his voice. He’d been on testosterone for three years but still felt like he sounded “clockable.��� It wasn’t until Steve promised that if they got even one comment about Billy’s voice, they’d immediately delete the episode, that Billy agreed.

Between the two of them, they had absolutely no qualifications to start an agony aunt podcast. Still, the first episode was released onto Spotify and it had a surprisingly warm reception. Most of their listeners were queer or neurodivergent and were asking about what to do when a hookup went wrong or how to go outside without having a panic attack.

It was heartwarming really, the affect Steve felt that they were having. Two trans guys talking openly about sex, relationships, social faux pas, fitting in and the occasional tangent on oyster forks wasn’t exactly common. And their audience seemed to cling to them like two older brother figures.

It was perfect. Should have been perfect. It was just that there was a bit of a side affect.

As it turned out, spending every week with your best friend, who was physically just your type, and was also just an absolute sweetheart, led to having a crush on said best friend.

That is if you were Steve anyway. Shit.

Most guys on realising they were crushing hard on their best friend probably would have done something normal, like tell him. Not Steve though. Steve endeavoured to lock himself in the broom closet and scream before every recording session of the podcast.

It would work. Hopefully.

Then Billy started getting random listeners proposing to him via email. They’d read them out before every advice segment and Billy would either accept or decline depending on how funny he found it but it still made Steve die a little inside. Billy felt like his in some intangible, indescribable way and even jokes about marriage felt like suffocating.

He redownloaded Grindr the next day. The guys on there left a lot to be desired, especially compared to Billy but at least it stopped Steve from feeling quite so lonely. He flirted, made decisions that made Robin tut and generally started morphing into the kind of hot mess Steve had been in his late teens.

Billy didn’t seem to notice. That is until he did.

Steve was very late for recording the newest episode, a silly one about accents. He hadn’t remembered to shave so the patchy stubble that hrt was helping him grow in was a mess. There was gum stuck to to the bottom of his shoe. Something had gotten spilled on his shirt.

His co host once again looked delicious. Delicious and worried. So worried in fact that he dragged Steve into the very closet that he’d spent almost two months hiding in.

There was only so long Steve could hedge around the issue. Not with Billy worrying about all the things that could have gone wrong, anxious brain in overdrive. Steve had to tell him.

A short, excruciating silence followed after Steve admitted his crush/budding love. One that the slightly irrational part of his mind was convinced would culminate in Billy punching him again.

That didn’t happen.

Instead, Billy called him a dumbass, they made out under a precarious tin of paint for fifteen minutes, and agreed that getting together was long overdue.

The first email they got from a listener after going public about their relationship was short and to the point.

Can I propose to both of you?

I think it was @camaro-and-smokes and @prettyboy-like-you who reblogged being interested in the og post about this idea and since I am a fic writing weirdo, I wanted to write a little ficlet for them! I hope you both like it

(Inspired LOOSELY by the hilarious Help I Sexted My Boss podcast which I adore. Also inspired a smidge by Lust For Life by @oopsiedaisiesbaby)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I don't want to contribute to paying for furniture for the house?

1/3/2024, Names changed. Sorry, this is a little long.

I (26) live with three roommates: Kay (22) who is my sister, Sam (22) who is Kay's high school sweetheart and fiancé, and Andy (25) who is Kay and Sam's best friend. All of us are autistic, queer, and neurodivergent in some way or another.

Background info; Kay, Sam, and Andy had had plans to move in together for several years with Andy moving cross country to do so. Kay and I both moved out of our parents house within a month of each other in Summer 2022, with Kay and Sam moving in together, and me moving into an apartment by myself. Early 2023 due to issues with my apartment and landlord and being unable/unwilling to stay there past my lease when it was up in six months, with some encouragement from our mother Kay asked if I wanted to move in with the three of them because Kay and Sam's lease was up around the same time mine was and they were already planning on getting a bigger place to live with Andy when he got here. Due to the aforementioned apartment troubles and having a hard time mentally living alone for the first time, I accepted. We found a small house and the four of us moved in Summer 2023.

Now we've butted heads a good bit the last couple months (especially me and Andy because we had barely known each other before moving in together and we have very different personalities), including a few very loud fights, but we have thus far managed to eventually talk it out and work it out and kept things mostly under control. I admit, there have been times where I was definitely the asshole in situations, but I've acknowledged that, apologized, and tried to improve my behavior since then. Anyway, this ask isn't about all those times.

A lot of my issues in the household stem from my depression and lack of motivation to get things done. A big contributing factor to that is that I am painfully aware I wasn't part of their original plan, and that leads to me not feeling wanted as part of this house. The three of them often do things without me like playing D&D, and hanging out/going fun places without me, while things I want to do with all of them just kinda never happens, like playing a video game or board game with one of them, or going out somewhere fun I want to go. Some of me not being included is completely justified like Kay and Sam's date nights, and some things while they do still sting a bit to be excluded from make sense why (like their D&D games that can get very NSFW, and I'm a sex-repulsed asexual. also being Kay's sister would make it extremely awkward regardless of my sexuality. I only found out about the NSFW nature of their games two weeks ago though), but certain things it doesn't feel like as good a reason for me to not be included or it's not actually communicated to me why I'm not invited to be part of something.

A REALLY big thing that contributed to these feelings I have was the day we got the keys to our house, as Kay and Andy were showing it to me, Kay told me "Just so you know, this isn't permanent. You're going to get your own place again eventually" with a soft deadline of two years because that's when another of their friends graduates college and might need a place to stay after. Over the last few months we have had several conversations about my feelings of being unwanted and Kay has apologized saying that what she meant that day came out wrong. What she meant by that statement was they all want to help me become more independent so that I will be able to move out and live on my own again one day when I'm ready since the first time didn't go so well. They were not/are not planning to kick me out, and the other friend moving in is just an idea that may not even come to fruition anyway. Even if it was partially a misunderstanding and there is no set time I need to be out of the house by, knowing that there is an end in sight has made it much harder for me to settle in because I don't feel like I can get settled since I'll just have to leave again at some point anyway even if that time is literal years away. Sorry if that doesn't make sense but that's the best way I can phrase it.

With all that background out of the way, I'll get back on track now. Kay and Andy have spent months planning on how to decorate the house and want to make the whole first floor (kitchen, living room, and shared craft space in the front room) themed like a medieval tavern. I haven't been able to give much input on how the house gets decorated outside of my own room. I've been trying to at least make my bedroom feel more homey since it's where I spend a lot of my time, but the common areas are much harder for me to feel comfortable and like I belong in because I don't have much control/input in how they will look. Which again, I know I'm not going to be here super long term, so it makes sense but it still sucks.

Now onto the actual situation here. There is a dining table set that Kay and Andy picked out that costs over $400 that Kay said on 12/25 she wants us all four to pitch in to get for the household for her birthday in a couple months. I am hesitant to contribute to this set, because I am not going to live with them forever. Obviously I pay my part to the household. I pay my fair share of rent, utilities, and food (though I will often make mini grocery runs throughout the week and I rarely if ever ask for money I spent back because I feel awkward about asking for money from any of them). I have already contributed towards furniture for the house but that is either things that are explicitly and exclusively mine despite household use (a tv stand I already had, a bookshelf I bought to display my things) and will come with me when I move out, or something that was a gift for someone else but still not ridiculously expensive (a $40 secondhand curio cabinet the rest of us got for Kay as an early Christmas present and various other small decorations for around the house).

There was another interaction today that has me a little upset. We've been thinking of getting a second TV for the living room so we can play online co-op games together. Who pays for the TV, determines who gets to keep the new one and who takes the old one when I leave. If the three of them want to keep the new TV, they're going to split the cost and I get the old one, however if I want the new TV I will have to pay for the whole thing myself. 1 person vs 3 people paying for something just feels unfair to me.

But the dining set feels different because it's a lot of money and I won't get to take any part of it with me when I eventually leave. With the TV I'd at least get to keep it. I feel guilty about not wanting to help pay for it, especially because Kay has said she wants it as a birthday gift, but if it almost feels like I'm just buying furniture for someone else's house. Honestly, I'll probably end up sucking it up and contributing anyway because I really don't like confrontation and tend to keep my feelings to myself anyway, but I just want to know other people's opinion on the situation.

Money has been a growing issue for me lately. I'm the only one with a stable, salaried job (barely pays above minimum wage though so it's not like I'm rolling funds), while Kay and Sam are hourly and Andy is between jobs right now. Like I said, I feel awkward about asking for money from any of them. Honestly I don't mind paying a little extra here and there to help out since I'm not much help with the cooking and cleaning, but the amount I have been contributing with no compensation has been eating away at my savings the last few months and I've been keeping silent about it because I don't want to make them feel guilty about it and make it awkward.

TLDR; I'm insecure and have trouble feeling wanted around by my roommates, and am expected to eventually move out. WIBTA if I don't want to help buy a dining set for the household because I won't get to take any part of it with me when I move out?

PS- If it's not too much trouble, could you please tag @aita-roommates-furniture so I am notified when this gets posted? Tumblr won't let me submit asks from a sideblog. If not, no worries! I'll just keep an eye out for it

What are these acronyms?

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

The Marauders Personalities in my version:

James: Sunshine type, a gentleman and the boys's mum but also very chaotic. He has ADHD so he doesn't stop moving or talking and if he is quiet one day, you need to worry. Neurodivergent beauty. The epiphany of extroversion. He is the show chown of the group, purposely making silly jokes and being goofy to make everyone laugh. Excellent at making friends. Good shoulder to cry on because he is super optimistic. He is an idealist and a romantic, most times on the clouds. He is very cocky but also has his insecurities. He is the type of person that has the spotlight everywhere he goes, he doesn't go unnoticed. People either love him or hate him. There is no in between.

Sirius: Grew up to be cocky and arrogant because his family made him that way. He is reckless but not all the time. Only when his emotions take rein. Extrovert but he doesn't speak as much. Especially if he doesn't like you. He can be very mean when he wants. He is the type of person that prefers to hurt than to be hurt. He hides a lot. There is a vulnerable side of him he doesn't show. He craves love and affection. He loves deeply and hard, or he doesn't love at all. It brings him joy to be the center of attention. (Especially when it is James doing it). He falls in love fast when people make him feel special. But he doesn't admit he is a romantic. He pretends to be a realist. Very insecure person that hides beneath a cocky good-looking guy. Feminine side that is hidden or unknown while he is in school, but as he grows older and stars accepting his queer self, he embraces that side of him.

Remus: A realist who has his feet stuck to the ground. He believes things are as they are and that's about it. Nothing to change. Introvert who appears to be shy to everyone but in reality is a little devil. Only the people who know him well had seen his true self. When someone he doesn't know well speaks to him, he is shy and gentle, he even blushes. But when he starts trusting and getting closer to someone, he would unleash his chaotic side: sarcasm is his middle name, swears like a sailor, mocks you about every single detail, knows things about taboo topics that would blow people's mind. He is not that experienced but he bad seen things or read things that would surprise people. He is very patient, especially with his boys (he loves them very dearly). He is not annoyed or stressed by them in any means. He feels grateful to be at Hogwarts and have friends like his and he does everything to cherish them. He is an adorable nerd who loves to read and uses large sweaters but also a bad boy who smokes, drinks and swears. Everytime he opens himself more to the ones around him, they like him even more. He is like a box full of surprises.

Peter: Different to common belief, he is not shy. He is an introvert but he definitely speaks more than Remus. Even though he is more shy and awkward around those who aren't his friends. Whereas with The Marauders he is the one the speaks the most, after James of course. He is genuinely funny. In an innocent way. He would just say something interesting and the boys would find it adorable or laugh at his silliness. He is treated like the baby of the group because he is the youngest. Sometimes Peter likes this affection, sometimes he wants to be taken seriously. And he is the one who loses his shit more than others. He is the one that yells and puts his friends in their places when they are being little shits. He rolls his eyes a lot. He shows his middle finger a lot. Like a younger brother, he tends to copy a lot of attitudes from James and sometimes Sirius. Like how to flirt with girls or sound confident. But he is the most insecure of the four. He doesn't think himself enough or very important. That is why he is not very good with girls or relationships. He wants that happily ever after with a girl even though he is also a horny little bastard. He sometimes thinks he is not loved which is bullshit because the boys love him a lot. He knows this. And he loves them back. He just wishes he would be different, someone else, more cool. People genuinely like him, it is just that his insecurity plays awful tricks on his brain sometimes.

Their dynamic: James is the chaotic hyperactive leader, Sirius is the reckless princess in distress, Remus is the nerd with a dubious past and a mind of a criminal, and Peter is the funny baby who tries not to be adorable but fails.

[lilxmoo]

Little things Amie and Jay did in AC that are actually quite important and I think deserve recognition

KAL👏 NOT 👏 BEING 👏CREEPY 👏 like guys he could have been a weird Jacob from Twilight "i imprinted on you" SO EASILY. But instead, by offering to leave and by always respecting Auri as a person before all else (throughout the whole series btw, it didn't stop once they're together), they actually show that he genuinely loves her rather than just being creepily attached to her against her will. Every step in their relationship is decided by Aurora, giving her full autonomy, but she ALSO asks for consent from him so they don't just assume he's ok with whatever just because they're bonded. It could have been so weird but they dodged that bullet really well

SCARLETT IS NEVER SLUTSHAMEDDD!!! I didn't think about til recently, but having a female character who is sexually active, sexualizes herself and has many partners is never a joke in this series, which is wonderfully refreshing. In fact, it's a subtle but really helpful insight to her character, with her desire to be loved instead of just loving, how detached she feels from her dad and her general desire to experience attachment that she hasn't always received. It's also not something she does simply because "she has to", she genuinely likes it, and that's never painted as a bad thing.

Having a queer character be religious. The whole United Faith thing is never really explored (which is probably good, it could have gotten way too political way too quick), but it's clearly inspired by Christianity. With Finian being both part of what is essentially a Christian and also a bisexual man is such good subtle representation that I WISHH there was more of in media. Just a silent acknowledgement of, "hey, these things don't have to be separate, being both is ok "

No alien species is wrong, and no conflict has a clear right side. Again, kinda under explored for the sake of trying to not be super political, but there is a silent yet pretty pointed show that every conflict is pretty grey. They don't justify murder or racism, but they kinda show, "hey, terrans and Syldrathi BOTH did good and bad things in this war. Terra attacked innocent Syldrathi, but Jericho Jones was a peacemaker. The Syldrathi did not ask for war, but Caersan was still a mass murderer anyways." Just an extra tiny layer of depth which helps with it feeling more real.

Subverting the, "I can fix him/her" trope. The characters aren't "fixed" by their love interests. Their growth is inspired by their partners, but also by their friends and experiences, which is much nicer. They say, "you CAN'T fix them. But you can encourage them to grow", and I really like that, I think its much healthier.

Neurodivergency. I'm not sure if Zila is actually meant to be autistic, but as someone on the spectrum myself, I definitely see her there. And her not understanding social ques isn't painted as something she needs to learn, it's painted as something EVERYONE ELSE needs to accept. Not change themselves for, that's important, but accept. Whenever someone criticizes her for her lack of social awareness, it's not a joke or a narrative criticism of her, etc the "You understand how everything works except other people" line. If anything, they are showing us that she does have feelings, that empathy is still important for her even if that's not something that's actively shown, and that these types of statements are hurtful, not helpful.

Trauma has consequences. Amie and Jay have talked about this in interviews, but they have always said that they stop believing a story when a character dies and then everyone just moves on, because that's not realistic. And that really helps the story and characters feel believable. Cat's death isn't only shown through Tyler being kinda sad. Every single character grieves her, not because they were close but because they knew her, which is very realistic, and for Tyler specifically she quite literally haunts his narrative, just like real death does, especially of such a violent kind. His grief drives him to make decisions which end up changing the course of the story, as does Kal's trauma with his dad, and everyone's past experiences, they all matter, and drive the storyline forward. Very realistic and very well-done.

They end the story where it needs to end. I'm a big advocate for not stretching out stories beyond where they need to go, and they do it well. Like, it's a sci fi space opera, they could've made it fifteen books long if they wanted, or made sure they had enough books for every squad member to have a cover of their own (which i wouldve loved to see, but anyways), but instead they said, "this is where and how it needs to end, and we're not gonna milk it."

Representation is subtle. The best kind, in my opinion, is when it feels real, and here it does. Fin and zila aren't constantly discussing being queer, they just have a conversation about if Saedii is hot, similar to Scarlett teasing Auri about Kal. Aurora being half Chinese isn't more important than her being half Irish, they both matter but neither overshadow her as a person. They become reminders of home, not reminders of her differences.

This was WAYYY too long, I apologize, but I was tryna think on why this story doesn't feel weird where in a lot of places it normally would. So here's my ramblings :D (noone is gonna care but oh well I put it out somewhere lol) anyway amie and jay know how to write surprise surprise

[verdemoun]

Wait wait wait please tell me more about Kieran and Javier timewarp plsplspls do they go on manfailure dates. Will they go on fishing trips. Does the timewarp vdl gang own a shitty little kayak like they deserve? Need to see Kieran and Javier being losers in love traversing modern times

THEY ARE MY ENDGAME because this is johnigail charthur era but i need my boys to find happiness.

kieran having been in modern era for 12 years when javier gets there. he may be a loser and also neurodivergent but he's so much more relaxed and confident than the gang ever got to see him be. grew his hair longer learned what a razor is and keeps his beard more even length even if his moustache is never more than like kitten whispers. healthy weight functional muscle from walking (drunk sprinting) and gardening like he's thriving

and javier's like having a rough time y'know he just wants to be around the gang all the time. he has felt so alone pretty much since the gang broke up and he's really ashamed of the fact he gave up his/Dutch's ideals and started working for the government for the sake of saving his own skin. and the general learning modern era stuff. most of the gang are busy with their lives though so kieran is accidentally the one who has to show him around?

javier has a type. and kieran very confidently taking his hand with a smile and saying they had to hold hands crossing the road? tall pasty manfailure with ratty dark hair? javier is panicked he is screaming oh no he's hot. it's a constant game of 'is he flirting or is he being socially dense' and javier is about to rip his hair out which kieran finds hilarious and adorable. its completely intentional. kieran is very honest, will fall in love with anyone he finds beautiful and thinks dad bod timewarped rdr1 javier is every bit as damned fine as rdr2 javier.

look they are disasters okay they're disasters in queer genderless human forms. javier went from still holding onto an on-and-off relationship with john pre-1899 that relied on codes and discretion not for being gay but because john was still trying to work things out with abigail (javier was so in love he just accepted being treated like that!!) to blushing at spontaneous pda because kieran glanced over and remembered how handsome his boyfriend is. getting told i love you seventeen times a day. doing something stupidly mundane only to hear 'pretty' from across the room and kieran just watching with the goofiest in love smile on his face. not only how flustered javier gets but also has he ever been in a relationship where he was loved as much as he loved someone? trying not to cry as he catches his semi-verbal boyfriend practising spanish so they can talk in javier's first language because NO ONE IN THE GANG EVER TRIED TO LEARN SPANISH EVEN THOUGH HE DIDN'T SPEAK A WORD OF ENGLISH WHEN HE MET THEM

javier's loyalty also meaning he is the biggest advocate for anything kieran needs to support his neurodivergency?? using the famous 'make grown men piss themselves' glare before staff can even comment on kieran bringing his snacks to a fancy tapas place on date night. also knowing exactly what makes safe foods safe and being able to offer mouthfuls of new foods that kieran might like or very honestly say 'do not touch you will be physically disgusted by this'. both considering a perfect romantic evening fishing. just quietly fishing lost in sharing tips and bait and the total bliss of one another's company. couple pic looks like american gothic with both of them completely blank and holding fish. nestled on the couch watching tv in spanish because kieran has his headphones on and doesn't listen anyway but really enjoys it. javier replacing the weighted blanket. kieran being taller and just picking javier up if something his brain detects as a threat happens because protect loved one comes first and javier trying trying to assure him the small yappy dog is not a threat to their lives but also almost tearing up because imagine someone loving him enough to actively try and keep him safe

it started ironic but their song is literally fish by craig campbell and javier will sing it while playing guitar despite neither one of them particularly enjoying country music but loving that song. the gang are mortified and see kieran as an innocent soft bean of purity who doesn't understand the song is not about fishing. not only is he fully aware but that is exactly why it is their song. trust they have the best sex life in timewarp. just losers with trauma and seperation anxiety who are completely devoted to each other, actually listen to one another so sincerely and never have to be worried about being left behind or forgotten again

to the second point annabelle being the big cheese wealthy woman of the group bought hosea a very modest aluminum boat with a low power engine because he's getting too old for rowing and she knows he does enjoy fishing. john will not touch it with a 10 foot pole he is convinced it is going to sink at any second when someone is reeling in a fish all other passengers have to move to the other side for balance and despite opportunities to buy significant better ocean vessels hosea loves the ss old girl. they can pry his shitty boat from his cold dead hands. so many happy, good, new memories he's formed with the gang in post time-warp.

[copperbadge]

Sam, how did you find your therapist and build such a good working relationship? Every attempt I’ve made at therapy seems to fizzle out after a few months… and no therapist has ever understood the RSD aspect of my ADHD, which makes it all feel a little worse every time I try.

I mean, I think really we're still building it -- I haven't had her more than a couple of months and functionally it's been an every-two-weeks situation most of the time because we keep having to move/cancel. I don't know that I can really speak intelligently to building a relationship with a therapist because this is the first time I've ever done it where I was an adult and in control. As for finding one...

Chicago has a group called Clarity Clinic, which is like a WeWork for mental health professionals -- they offer scheduling, billing, and IT/office space to local people who I think are mostly independent operators otherwise. They have a directory that is highly filterable, so I found my psychiatrist there by filtering to stuff like Adult ADHD and medication management. He's great, but he didn't want to be my therapist and I didn't want him to. When I decided on therapy, I asked him if he knew anyone he could recommend, since he knew what my deal was in terms of personality, behavior, etc.

So he gave me a couple of names of fellow Clarity Clinic folks and I had a look on the website and chose the one that sounded like she'd get on best with me. I think I struck it lucky to be honest -- she's young (compared to me) and has ADHD, and she's very familiar with disability discourse, spoon theory, etc, even fandom to an extent. If I were to go looking today I might look more at therapists who specialize in twice-exceptional individuals, but she's good enough with what I'm aiming at that I don't want to change.

So the best advice I have is if you're being treated for other stuff by someone you trust I'd ask them, but also look for someone experienced with adult ADHD, and I'd look for someone on the younger side who's more likely to be understanding of neurodivergent needs. (I also recommend filtering to queer-friendly therapists if you can; I didn't necessarily need that but it means they're likely to be generally accepting and probably have more liberal politics. With the caveat that in shady places like BetterHealth, "LGBTQIA" counselors are sometimes homophobic creeps with an axe to grind.)

Building the relationship has taken proactivity on my part -- ensuring that I always have an appointment on the books (we book out about six weeks in advance now, because we know one of us will likely need to cancel/rebook at times), making sure that I have either an aim for treatment or at least something to talk about, etc. I think in your case probably having a list of things you want to deal with, so that you can check some boxes up top, might help.

I would definitely open with "I have ADHD and I need help with [aspects of that]; I also have RSD and I need to work with someone who respects that diagnosis and understands how to help with it." I went into mine saying "I have ADHD and I'm also struggling with some really big emotion, so I'm looking for help with those, but also like...I'm not really sure what therapy can offer. I've had some bad experiences in the past but they were all when I was a child, so I'm trying to explore some options." Her reaction was a combination of sympathy and a discussion of the kinds of things we might work on, which helped a great deal.

But yeah, I think it starts with establishing right from the jump what you want and need, and then spending time making sure that you both stay on top of that until you find a rhythm. We're still finding our rhythm, but it's getting easier as I'm learning to be clearer about what I want and more comfortable with being a participant instead of someone therapy just happens to.

[bunnyluvx]

genshin as teachers! ♡

featuring: albedo, yanfei, yun jin & zhongli!

summary: what would the genshin characters be like as teachers?

warnings: a little bit of angst on zhongli's part. nothing else!

tags: modern fantasy au | albedo and zhongli are still old men bc i said so | queer and autistic albedo | slice of life | fluff? fluff. | a whole bunch of cuties tbh

a/n: hi everyone!! happy halloween and happy samhain to anyone who is celebrating!! if not then i hope you have a wonderful day! have some headcanons <3

date started: 4:58PM, october 27th, 2024. date finished: 3:50PM, october 31st, 2024.

divider credit: @thecutestgrotto | wc: 2.2k | ao3

albedo ♡

you'd think that because albedo is an alchemist in the game, that i would put him down as a science teacher. not this time around he's not! i see albedo as an art teacher! even though it is only a hobby for him, i really like the image of him passing his admiration for art onto the kids he teaches. i think that his love for the subject would really show in his teaching and captivate his students. he would inspire them to be better artists and when they come to visit him years later, many would tell him that he was the reason why they wanted to be better at art. it always warms his heart to hear that he has influenced the next generation, and it makes him even happier seeing how much they have progressed throughout the years. he definitely keeps up with as many of his older students as he can, follows them on social media and scrolls through their work with pride.

i think that he would teach high school kids, specifically ages 14-16. when he was first getting started with teaching, he did grow a soft spot for grade school children, but with high schoolers, he's able to have conversations with people who have a more in-depth understanding of the world. when they all aren't busy, he likes to talk to them about things that are personal to everyone to understand their thoughts, opinions, feelings and ideas. this is one of many things that he loves about his job, learning more about his students. every individual that he teaches are so fascinating in their own way, and having the opportunity to get to know them all is something that he feels grateful for everyday.

i don't really see him having a special nickname for his students, probably just "students", "class", "kids", etc.

albedo isn't too strict of a teacher, he does have his rules and enforces them accordingly but he isn't uptight necessarily. he allows phones, food, drinks, earbuds/headphones etc in his class as long as they do not become a distraction, but if he notices that anyone isn't paying attention to the lesson because of these things, then he will ask for them to be put away.

a big pet peeve of albedo's is when students don't clean up after themselves. there is no reason for them not to, and he does not have the time to tidy their messes. it typically isn't much of an issue, as many of his kids are respectful of the space they take up and the time they have, but when it does happen, he cannot help but be annoyed.

albedo is very beloved by his pupils. he accommodates all of his students as best as he can, and he does his best to ensure that he is a safe space for his kiddos to come to him whenever they need anything. he is particularly adored by his fellow queer and neurodivergent folk, for they can relate to him at that level. he is happy that his efforts of creating a safe place for the young people that he teaches have paid off, especially for those who are like him. many have called him their favorite teacher because of his detailed teaching style and open-mindedness, and he humbly accepts the honor.

albedo never had an interest in social media until his students started to beg him to download some. he agreed begrudgingly and downloaded a few, and was very rarely active on them until those kids graduated. it was only not long after that he started to become more active. he never really posts, but he does interact with their content and keeps up with them to soak in the pride of their development.

yanfei ♡

yanfei being a government teacher makes the most sense to me. she is very passionate about law, so i feel like being able to pass on that knowledge as to how it all works is something that she would find really fulfilling and exciting.

once again, i see yanfei teaching high school kids, ages 14-16. maybe a little younger, but it's a strong maybe. i feel like she would get along really well with the kids and it would be really fun for her.

i can see yanfei calling her students "lovelies" or "lovely people". i think she really adores her students and wants to make them feel special, so that's how she refers to them outside of all of the basic stuff.

yanfei isn't much of a strict teacher either, she does allow phones, headphones/earbuds, snacks, drinks etc in her classroom as long as it is in moderation. she is a bit stricter than albedo, though, because when the students are working, they are working. no dilly-dallying or distractions, if she catches someone that is getting distracted or straight-up not doing their work, she will remind them to stay on task or to get on task if they aren't. she never sounds mean or anything, she just wants everyone to stay focused.

something that really grinds yanfei's gears is deliberate disobedience. when she asks a student to put something away, and they refuse or even start to speak to her disrespectfully, she will start to lose it. she's pretty good at keeping a level head, she won't yell or rarely fights with her students, but it really tips her over the edge when she asks one of her kiddos to do something kindly and they respond rudely. she didn't do anything to deserve that treatment, so why she receives it sometimes is something that she will never understand. it's something that she's learned to deal with as she has progressed in her career, and it doesn't happen too often, but when it does, it puts her very on-edge.

yanfei is very straightforward in her teaching style. once a lesson has started, it has started and it is uncommon for her to get distracted while she is teaching. a lot of her students like this because it means that they can get their work done swiftly and without any disturbances, and it fills her with pride to know that they are so dedicated to their studies.

just because yanfei likes for her and her kiddos to remain focused during their learning time doesn't mean that she is always so serious. she will converse with the students and laugh with them, and tries to surprise them with fun lessons so that they can stay engaged in what she's teaching them. she'll take selfies with them and follows them on social media, even make tiktoks with them when they are done with their work! while she does take her time on the clock seriously, that doesn't mean that she won't have any fun or bond with her students in the process.

yun jin ♡

music teacher yun jin. need i say more?

i feel like yun jin would teach grade school children. the thought of her singing with the kids and passing her love for music onto them just makes my heart feel all warm and happy eyfbuw.

yun jin calls her students "little ones", "lovelies", maybe other endearing terms. she uses "little ones" the most and it's adorable. her eyes show how much she loves and cares for her students whenever she looks at them.

yun jin is not a very strict teacher, some say that she spoils her students a little bit too much. she brings in snacks, candies, stickers, and makes her lessons as fun for the children as she can!!!! she believes that they deserve all of the rewards in the world for their accomplishments, and maybe she does overdo it sometimes, but that does not mean that she is a pushover. while she does find it difficult to tell her kids no, she knows that it is essential to the classroom environment, so she will be firm with her boundaries, much to the kids' dismay.

as much as she loves to let the kids have fun with all of the different instruments and wants them to be creative, she is still teaching grade school children who aren't always aware of their volume. they get excited, therefore they get loud, and while she is pretty used to it, sometimes all of the instruments being played at the same time with high-pitched screeching small people scratches the chalkboard of her brain. especially if she has asked them to quiet down multiple times, and they don't listen/get louder. her students respect her, so they do try to mind their volume when she asks, but there are days where they aren't as mindful of the noise they're making. there have been times where she has had to leave the room for a few minutes because of how overstimulating it could be, or told the kids to put the instruments away since they weren't adhering to her instruction.

yun jin is the type of teacher who is almost always smiling. she is cheerful around everyone in the workplace, especially around the little ones. doing what she does everyday makes her so happy that she cannot help herself! she adores the children that she teaches with everything that she is. they are all so unique, smart and kind, and she feels so lucky that she gets to help them expand their knowledge about something that is so important in the world.

sometimes, when she is alone in her classroom, she likes to blast rock and roll music. some of the staff have caught her jamming out to it, and to say that they were surprised is an understatement. yun jin is so well-known for enjoying opera that no one would expect her to enjoy rock and roll. i think it would be funnier if the students found out because they would be asking her all sorts of questions and she would just have to laugh it off.

zhongli ♡

this man is a history teacher. he has been alive for many years, therefore he is able to give an accurate, detailed description of history that he will be passing forward, and he can connect with younger generations to understand the modern world.

i don't have any specific ideas for what age group zhongli would teach, because honestly, i feel as though he would be happy teaching any age group. he is so interested to learn more about the world that has come to be that i feel as though it wouldn't matter much to him. no age group in particular really sticks out to me either.

zhongli wouldn't have any special nicknames for his students. just the normal stuff.

zhongli is similar to yanfei, but i imagine that he is a bit more strict than her. not to say that he's extremely hung-up on his rules, but he is very firm about them. he is never disrespectful when he is enforcing the boundaries within his classroom, but he does make it clear that he will not be so easily swayed. i imagine that he may be a bit more loose if he was teaching younger children, but he wouldn't tolerate any misbehavior.

this is a little sad and i don't know how much of a "pet peeve" it can be considered but i think that one of zhongli's pet peeves is when his class isn't listening to him. he knows that he has a tendency to go on long rambles that not everybody understands, but when he feels like his students are straight-up ignoring him, it makes him a little sad. he wants to be able to share his thoughts and stories with the younger people, but when he gets cast to the side like that, he can't help but feel a little down. he corrects himself and gets back to subject if he or any of the students can even remember what he was talking about to begin with, and he does apologize for it, but it still disheartens him.

zhongli is a very fun teacher, i think. he has been doing this for so long that he knows exactly how to keep the students engaged in what he teaches them, and he has also mentally noted every trick in the book that any student has ever used on him, so that if there is a repeat of an event, he knows what's going on and how to respond. he is always willing to try new things on behalf of his kiddos, and he is very open-minded. it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be able to listen to zhongli's stories, so many of his students tune in whenever he starts talking, for they are very interested in hearing about one of plenty tales that he has to tell. he is someone that everybody could learn from, if only to give him the chance.

if zhongli was teaching older children, they would be begging him to get a phone. he never had one before his students began to beg him, plus he figured that he would end up needing one anyways. he didn't use it much at first, but that changed with time. he soon got to using social media, and now does all sorts of fun things on there with his students. he finds it a bit difficult to keep up with the newer trends, but he does his best and his students love him for it.

@BUNNYLUVX ,, all rights reserved. do not copy/plagiarize any of my works or submit it into ai. any and all support is appreciated! <3

[cupidspup]

hello! congrats on 50 followers!

#9 from your 20 questions game? as a queer disabled regressor i love hearing other people’s experiences!

~ @littletism 🎀

Eeee hello hi! ^^ Thank you for your question I'm so so excited to answer! ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა

The question is:

"If you have other marginalized identities (lgbtq+, neurodivergent, poc, ect...) how do they figure into your regression?"

And my answer is...

It incorporates into my regression in a lot of ways!! X)

I know you all don't know a lot about me so this is sort of a deeper dive into me along with being a fun lil game! :] So strap in its a bit of a long one x)

I'm a person of color, I'm in the lgbtq+ community (not straight and my gender identity doesn't align with my assigned sex at birth), I have autism and adhd AND on top of that I have other mental health/physical health problems that can take a huge toll on me too! :")

Regression isn't always sunshine and rainbows for sure. I come from a very troubled background, my regression comes from a place to heal that child that was hurt from that time. To give me back what I lost as a child or to give me what I never had.

I'm a trans guy and I'm proud, but online I get really finicky about it because I'm always scared that no one will respect it (or my pronouns) because I'm a hyperfem trans guy so I try to hide my gender/sex a lot which is something I'm working on ૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟ ა

On top of that with the mental health problems I have, they make me incredibly sensitive and extremely clingy no matter what age I regress to. I have chronic back and joint pain which makes it hard to do a lot of the "typical" regressor things and sometimes it can put a damper on how I feel about myself as a little too (╥ᆺ╥；)

This all translates to a very big crybaby little, who seems like nothing will satisfy them, very high maintenance along with the constant energy just MOVING!!! I'm not a skinny person either and my feelings get so confused too :< "why don't I look like that person? I want to sit criss-crossed too!! Wait I don't want to be a little prince I wanna be a princess!! Princesses are cute!! Oh I hope I'm not being too much...I'm too much...Oh but my cg loves me still!!" Most of the time when I'm small, my Pronouns change too because in my little brain the feminine girly stuff feels way better than all the little boy stuff!! It's a really hard thing to navigate but I'm happy the people around me are open minded and accepting of that 🩷

With all the trauma I've experienced certain words and actions can trigger me even easier :"] it can be a lot for a lil guy with anxiety. Not to mention that my regression doesn't look anything like my childhood (I'm Latin-Hispanic) so sometimes it feels like it's just a game of pretend or like I'm dressing up as a white person so that I can fit in with the "rest of the kids" ૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟;;;ა (I, of course, mean no offense to anyone)

Thoughts and feelings are fast and troublesome.

But it's not all that bad either!!

With the big thoughts come even bigger hugs and kisses! With the back/joint pain comes back rubs and tickles (With consent of course🩷) and soft pillows n plushies to rest on!! When I feel like stimming I (very luckily) have a cg who's willing to rock me n do all the stimmy things with me! ૮( ˃ ꒳ ˂)ა He's always willing to work around the stuff I like and don't like and knows what food is safe and not safe :3

I feel that because I'm so different a whole other world gets unlocked through my regression!! I want to experience so much and rewrite the story that little me had to live through. I want to bring comfort to those who don't exactly have any guidance or the means for said comfort.

My regression is different from most but also valid and very common! I love this community and I love that it's been here for me for my hardest times 🩷 I'd love to be an older figure in the community (since I'm so grown up now!! I grew from 13 to almost 21 in the blink of a eye!!) that guides the new generation one step at a time :] There's so much more that I can say about my regression but this is getting long and I think I've covered a good amount of it ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა

Thank you so much @littletism for joining the game and asking me this question!! ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა (also I love your blog its so so cute and it'd be so cool if we could be friends maybe ८,,◐⩊◐,,ა /nf)

Anywho until next time!!

- Kyupie ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

[rivetgoth]

Tbh I think one aspect of goth club environments that I find a bit frustrating, though generally keep to myself/my close circles who know I'm not coming at this from some massively judgmental angle but more passive observation and ultimately minor grievance, is that I think there's two pretty distinct camps in most of them where Camp 1 is "people who love goth [or otherwise dark alternative] music who want to hear it played loudly and dance while socializing with other individuals who love this music as much as them," and Camp 2 is "people who are weirdos and freaks [affectionate] who wanted to find a place where they could express themselves comfortably and safely and meet other weirdos and freaks." And these aren't completely separate spheres, but the two circles of this Venn diagram are not nearly as overlapping as you would think.

I consider myself first and foremost Camp 1 as the one and only reason I became goth and began participating in this community was the love of the music, the music has kept me alive and shaped me into the person I am today, the reason I go out to these events is for the music, and every close friend I've made in this scene has been through the love of the music, but I don't have any negative feelings towards Camp 2 and I relate to them in many ways as well. I think goth clubs are fantastic accepting spaces for queer people, kinky and sex posi people, autistic and other neurodivergent people, and people who otherwise just do not fit into the norm, whether it be due to something outside of their control or just having Weird Person Interests that have gotten them kinda stigmatized by wider society. I totally found solace in the goth scene due to being a lot of those things myself. But I still connect first and foremost with the people who love the music. That is THE THING that has kept me going. While when it comes to the exclusively Camp 2 people, a loooot of them kind of come out to these spaces specifically to be amongst other likeminded individuals and feel accepted for their weirdness, and the music is practically, just, like, incidental lol. Ironically they don't necessarily realize how much of the reason that these spaces ARE historically safe for them is due to what the music itself, the musicians making it, and the fans of the music have stood for.

The thing is I don't really think anything needs to be "done about this" or whatever, I hesitate to call it a problem at all, firstly I think that the dark alternative scene SHOULD be a safe space for individuals who exist outside of the norm and I don't think they should need to pass some sort of knowledge test in order to gain entry to these spaces, second of all I think many of them over time do come to love the music, even just by being around it enough to develop positive association, and third I think that supporting these spaces with physical bodies, generating financial revenue, etc is the best way of keeping them alive so ultimately it doesn't really matter how much or how little they know if they're showing up and materially supporting the scene. But I do think it's like... person to person, a little sad, I guess, that the dark alternative scene is so muddled with just the general broad category of humans that is "people who are weird and don't fit the norm" that it's kinda difficult to find people who are there because they love the music and a lot of the people who I get excited to connect with because they're openly trans or something reveal quite quickly they don't really listen to any of the bands I'm there to hear, they just heard from a friend who heard from a friend that you can meet other cool queer people and be GNC safely there. And that's great! It really is. But I do wish that the people who were going to these spaces without knowing much about the music would spend some time exploring it. I think they'd probably find a lot to love about it honestly.

[galacticscrotum]

Hello!

I don’t really like introducing myself.

I get stressed out trying to capture the essence of who I am in a reasonable amount of words. I’m far too complex for that. Not in a “I’m so complicated and cool and mysterious” way, but more of a “I literally don’t even fully have a grasp on my own existence” way.

So instead of trying to summarize my personality, I’ll just list some random things I’d like you to know if you follow me :) (If it’s too long to read, I put key info in bold)

My name is Em, it’s nice to meet you!

I’ve rotated around the sun 22 times. No wonder I’m dizzy.

I am autistic and have ADHD and CPTSD. All three conditions are intrinsically linked for me, I cannot fully relate to any of the conditions on their own without the other two.

I have several symptoms of BPD (abandonment issues go brrrrr)

I never want to speak over people with higher support needs so please (respectfully) tell me if something I say is incorrect or offensive.

Autism and neurodivergence are huge special interests of mine! (Comorbidities hellooo)

I have a ridiculous and sarcastic sense of humor. I’m a goose that is rather silly.

Communicating requires a lot of my energy, so I don’t like any criticism on how I do it, like how often I punctuate or what words I use. I’m doing my best to get my thoughts from my internal realm to the outside world.

I love to learn about anarchy and communism. Even more, I love learning about and imagining better ways of life outside of any common ideologies.

I am fucking queer as fucking shit.

My pronouns are they/them. she/he are okay too

I edit this post a lot.

I love you and I want to be your friend :)

I use :) a lot and I will not stop :)

I love The Sims 4! (I have three of the expansion packs, city living, cottage living, and cats and dogs, and I do use cheats, and I have wicked whims because tiddies)

I am half Slavic/Balkan and that’s important to me because I was disconnected and removed from my culture when I was 5. (Other half is boring western European white American). Began to reconnect with my culture when I turned 18.

Learning languages is sooo fun for me! Def a big special interest. I’m semi-fluent in Spanish, and have little knowledge of: Portuguese, Mandarin, Serbian, Russian, Hungarian, toki pona (this one is so fucking cool to me).

I love music and sharing recommendations! I used to play several instruments including viola, violin, cello, guitar, and piano. Viola is forever my main instrument. Haven’t played in a while though.

Music genres I like: reggaeton, Afrobeats, house/techno/EDM, 2000-2010s pop, Serbian folk/pop, Mexican/Chicano rap, Spanish guitar, punk rock, Falling in Reverse (genre of its own tbh).

I’m very interested in the origins of humanity, early human migration, language evolution, and related topics.

I like to sew and embroider :)

I’m not religious. I have been finding my own spirituality with Mother Earth and I love it. I like learning about others’ beliefs. I don’t care what your religion is, I’ll accept you as long as you’re not in my DNI list :)

As a queer, neurodivergent, mentally ill person, I will reclaim slurs if I choose to. If that offends you, block me. I’m not here to cater to your sensitivities, I’m here to freely express myself. The language is not being used towards you, you’re just being a cop.

Anonymous asks are now OFF because y’all can’t fucking behave 🙄

DNI: under 18, homophobes, transphobes, racists, bigots, bootlickers, ableists, misogynists, porn blogs, general assholes (I LOVE BLOCKING YOU BITCHES!!!!)

If you’re under 18 and want to interact just DNI with any of my posts labeled nsfw/mdni.

Thanks for reading :) Always open to questions! And memes. The more absurd the better.

[cryptturon]

the idea that it's forced for fictional friend groups to almost all be abused, queer, and/or neurodivergent is a little disheartening for me to hear because thats exactly what my friend group was always like before we even realized half of our identities and orientation. and when you figure yourself out and feel safe coming out to some people who are open about their own queerness and neurodivergence you obviously join their group. and it's unfortunately not that strange for them to have something going on at home. the connectedness of being in a minority that experiences very similar things is not outlandish nor is it a rare occurence in real life, because even as we are fewer in total we are also spread out everywhere. people with not only similar personalities but experiences just come together and accept each other. and really i feel as though people who think it's too unrealistic for that many of us in one place sound so terrifying in that they have the same attitude as the people who tried to get us killed without knowing it

[nonbinary-sticks-the-badger]

sonic (the franchise) is about so many things and one of them is giant found family. their family tree of blood relatives is a single name, while the family tree of who they consider family is everywhere. diagonal lines, little notes of 'she's my sister and he's my brother but they aren't siblings to each other', little scribbles of '(actually blood related)', colour coded stems to demonstrate different relationships (some of these stems are multicoloured), all in a big jumbled up mess that's impossible to decipher but makes sense to them.

thats why sonic is insperable from queerness and other communities of those shunned and forced to live underground*. thats why sonic is inseparable from acceptance and diversity.

*i mean theres a whole show about that

and at the end of the day, that's what draws a lot of people to sonic. us queers like it for the afformentioned found family aspect, with found families across the world having been vital to our survival in the past. in particular, us trans people like it for the complete nonconformist attitudes to basically everything. us disabled people like it because half the characters can very easily be read as disabled (particularly neurodivergent). racial minorities, poorer people, almost any group faced by oppression can be drawn to it for its general anti-capitalist, pro-acceptance views. for anyone wondering what capitalism has anything to do with it, that's a whole other rant, but to keep it concise: oppression divides the poor, therefore capitalism thrives on it.

was this always the intention? probably not. hell, is that even always the intention now? again, maybe not. but finding meaning in something that didn't have it in the first place is such a great thing, and i do believe that in a large portion of what has been made, this has been the overarching meaning, to some extent. and yes it's just a game about a really fast hedgehog; yes, it's just a property meant to get kids to beg their parents to spend money; but anything ever can be about so much more, depending on who you ask, and that includes sonic.

[farmerlesbian]

5, 15, 21, 33

5. Are you “out” publicly? yeah! i am visibly lesbian and visibly trans/nonbinary/gnc and i flag very obviously almost all the time. i am publicly out to everyone. i'm not really able to hide it either if i wanted to.

15. How has your identity changed over time? oof well.. i .. hm. i spent a long time essentially unlabeled for my orientation because i struggled to reconcile being nonbinary and being into Ladies. and i hadn't really had many homo experiences so i wasn't even sure who i was into.

ok let's wind back a bit. so when i was a kid i knew something was.. there. i was incredibly afraid of it. (i guess now we're gonna answer the neurodivergent question haha) i couldn't even name it for myself in my own head. i would not. i was absolutely terrified.

now for context you need to know i was somewhat.. ostracized? i was lowkey bullied and i was very self-conscious, socially awkward, insecure, lonely. you know how people say little girls can tell someone is neurodivergent better than doctors? yeah. so i was extremely concerned with being Normal and being like accepted and having successful social interactions. i did not face concerns about family acceptance or religious homophobia or transphobia. this was about peer acceptance and social isolation/success.

so this is why i was terrified of the ... thing i could not name. so i wouldn't even say i was closeted because i wasn't out to myself. i remember.. telling myself something along the lines of.. like needing to be strong, and keep this secret forever and never let it out never tell anyone, ever. if i can do that it will be okay. this hyper-vigilance.

so i self identified as "boy-crazy", as a half-subconscious strategy to avoid scrutiny. i also tried very hard to make sure to act very Normal about girls and not be too avoidant with my eyes. i developed crushes on boys. now to be clear looking back on it, i intentionally did this and made sure to be conspicuous about it. oh what a time. i even had boyfriends.

around high school time i was on the internet a lot. i added tumblr to the websites i was going on and i found nonbinary people. i was fascinated by androgyny and nonbinary people, and i was learning about like social justice stuff a lot and i was like kinda Ally mode. i can't remember much exactly, i was also very much sleep deprived for much of later high school and mentally not well. i was friends with some gay people. i knew some people who were out by this time. i don't think i was thinking of myself as gay at this time yet. probably open to the idea of neutrality as a gender at this time. if i'd known a word for it i probably would have claimed it and identified with it.

then i went to college and i think something inside me knew i was like planning to be gay in college? like i completely subconsciously was like waiting for it. i was still deeply nervous and afraid but i was around a lot of new people and it's socially acceptable / normal to like experiment and stuff in college. i started experimenting with expressing attraction to women when talking with friends, or using words for myself like butch or dyke. (i didn't really know what the words meant i just was trying them on). i was around a lot more people who were out. i started trying out flirting with girls. i probably thought of myself as bi around this time.

then sophomore year i ended up on in 'gender inclusive housing' - a floor of one door building where any people could be roommates regardless of gender. we called it the queer floor. my RA was trans, manyyy of my floormates were lgbtq. there were a handful of straight people of the floor but the majority were queer. it was dramatic but fun honestly and an incredible experience being surrounded by that, and all the people i met through these people. i definitely started identifying as nonbinary and neutrois and using they/them around this time. i think i used demigirl a little bit but didn't feel super strongly towards it. i met my now-wife in the spring. i don't recall using any super specific words for my orientation other than like queer. i didn't know for sure what my orientation was so i was just keepin it vague. i didn't even really know for sure my gender i just knew somethin was going on!

couple years went by and i met a lesbian friend i became close with and i became more comfortable claiming it as an identity, at the same time as being nonbinary. around that time i started this blog.

and more years have gone by and i still feel like lesbian and nonbinary are true. I feel more secure and confident in being able to be both not a woman or girl or aligned with it at all and also being a lesbian, as well as confident in being into some nonbinary people and still being a lesbian. i think the specifics of my gender labels would include: trans, nonbinary, transgender and transsexual, transmasc (i guess? i'm unsure how i feel about this label and its usefulness in general or its accuracy for me. i kinda feel like sure i guess it is technically correct), neutrois, androgyne, neutral. stuff along those lines.

21. What message would you give to your younger self? bro... i don't even know. "it doesn't have to be great or even good, it just needs to be done". "it's okay to be gay it's okay to say it, it isn't going to help you to try to hide it and you shouldn't expect yourself to keep that hidden away forever it will eat you up inside and you don't deserve that".

33. What about your LGBT identity do you feel proud of/ want to recognize/celebrate? I'm proud that I'm me! I'm proud to be a dyke. I'm proud to be nonbinary. I'm proud to be exactly who I am, whether it's popular or not, whether anyone else gets it or not. I'm proud to be one member of a vibrant and beautiful and messy family. 🌈

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