#who am i kidding i can't yell at people
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causenessus · 4 months ago
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news with ness time <3333333
just so u all know at like any time of the day i have 50 tumblr drafts saved in my head and mainly they're just random things i want to say like let me tell u guys... i've been asked to return back to my high school to stage manage their musical because after my year left they were literally hopeless 💀 like it's so bad my director is so done with them he's literally announced he's retiring in a few years and is also hiring someone else to direct the musical and they were not about to deal with another student stage manager for the musical after last year (💀💀💀💀💀💀) so i'm gonna do it 😭 BUT OMG I'M BURNT OUT TOO BRO I'M SO TIRED I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT WITH THE LITTLE KID THAT TOOK OVER LIGHTS FOR ME BC HE SUCKS MAJORLY AND HAS SUCH A SUPERORITY COMPLEX LIKE I COULD GO ON AND ON ABOUT HIM UGH THERE'S SO MUCH LORE TO THAT I'LL DELVE INTO IT AGAIN ANOTHER TIME but like it's gonna be in november....so i have to start thinking about it soon 😭😭😭 and how do i tell my directors my brain has literally been consumed by fic writings and i cannot sit at my computer and watch a recording of the musical so i know wtf is going on BECAUSE I WANT TO WRITE AAA september and novemeber are gonna be rough guys that's all i can say
i literally cannot tell if i accidentally professed my undying love for mo in someone's post or if tumblr tried to silence me but i'm sorry if it was the former
WYR I'M SORRY I FORGOT TO SEND U A TEASER FOR LOVE NOTES IF U SEE THIS DM ME I WILL SEND IT NOW (or anyone else i will gladly share with u a teaser <3)
my brain is SO backed up rn but also i think i'm officially closing my 1k followers event 😭😭 200 followers later LMAOO sorry i kept it open so long i didn't even think about it. so i'll finish what prompts i have going on rn and i think that'll be it!! and if someone sends in any more requests i'll def still write them <3 but just so u guys don't think i'm stupid
if matcha lattes were water i'd be the most hydrated person ever. thank u. that's it
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tinystepsforward · 2 months ago
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ngl it makes me want to die a little bit that it's so often trans people who feel that sex is mutable but oppression is always-forever based on asab in ways that allow them to demand that information from other trans people. like it feels fucking bad. it feels bad when it's people holding up someone who posts a lot of selfies as transition goals to a degree they have to clarify what they have or haven't done or what "direction" they're going in, it feels worse when people are out there like "caster semenya is not tma" or whatever the fuck. i am, as always, not a trans woman, but here's a sentiment echoed by many of the trans women around me who log the fuck off, quoted directly from one: "people who draw a clear line where they say that semenya or khelif are tme and then call me tma are just calling me male at this point".
like i get it. i really do. we seek community and shared experiences, and we feel betrayed when people have less in common with us than we thought they did. [*more on this later.] but that's not those people's faults and my god in the case i'm seeing play out on twitter rn this poor person did absolutely nothing to intentionally mislead people, just posted pictures of their actual kid self. who looks a lot like i did, because shockingly enough "we can always tell" doesn't fucking work for trans people either!
on the one hand i move in intersex circles which are unapologetically welcoming in cis "dyadic" people with pcos, because it serves nobody to draw a clear line where mutilation or genetics or some ineffable childhood suffering are what make somebody intersex, especially when most of us (esp in places like nz) have never been karyotyped and are being treated for symptoms without a pinned-down cause anyway. the more of us there are the stronger we are, the more pressure we can exert on a medical profession which doesn't like to consider how common outliers are, how uneasy sex is at all. and then on the other hand there's dyadic trans people on the internet who've yelled me out of spaces because a couple of traumatised incarcerated trans women i worked with as a prison abolitionist assumed i was also a trans woman and i didn't immediately tell them my entire csa-involved history of being sexed in varying ways as an infant and child and/or exactly how big my phallus was at birth or where in my junk config my urethra lives so they could decide i was tme or whatever.
returning to the * for a related but not identical thought: i think presuming shared experiences leads to some fucked shit in general! "oh we all had a radfem phase" or "oh we all were channers" no we fucking weren't and it's particularly obnoxious when me & mine are trying to build trans community locally to organise and resist the growing wave of far-right backlash against our existence, and there's just white people in there on a spectrum from "straight up being antisemitic and trying to get the n-word pass" through "handwringing about how they need to make space for people who aren't politically correct" to "handwringing about how brown people are right to be mad at them but doing shit fuckall". and then the other fucking brown people in the space are on some identity politics shit where they're like "trans joy inherently excludes those of us who could get deported" or "big city white queers are killing us by being visible instead of going stealth bc it stirs up the discourse" or whatever the fuck i've heard pulled out this year. there's a bunch of reasons i primarily organise outside of trans spaces and that's one of them. i've never felt more alone in spaces where people claim we're all the same than being left as the brownest moderator or organiser in a space full of people to whom "this is a safe trans space" apparently means they get to abdicate all other responsibilities not to lapse into presumed shared patterns that are fucking racist or otherwise alienating. i've never felt more alone than surrounded by exclusively trans people who sort people into boxes and assume everyone in those boxes has the transition goals they have. like i was on cypro until it disagreed with me to the point of endocrine crisis and now i'm on t and at both those points people were so fucking presumptive or entitled to my reasons or journey or personal relationship w my body
literally just submitted on (and was invited to consult on) the nz law commission's review of the human rights act and like. it's straight up fucked how many nz trans people fully do not comprehend that any "sex assigned at birth" type definitions fundamentally exclude migrants who have no way of proving it and many intersex people who happen to have been reassigned later or many times or never assigned at all as a baby. we can't make law with this shit and that's why we have to have symmetrical protections for all genders/sexes/expressions/presentations, bc naming and defining a protected class here often leaves the people who already are left out from those shared experiences of marginalisation out in the cold when they face violence
#reblogs turned off because obviously i'm already bracing to be pilloried for saying one thing not quite correctly or whatever#and also bc i have zero interest in having this be boosted by trans dudes on their own transandrophobia agenda either#i'm just venting#but frankly the first time i got yelled at for saying that as an intersex person some of the immense violence i experienced as a child#was motivated by transmisogyny#i was a teenager and it was someone a fair bit older than me with more local clout so like. it's been a decade. how is it worse now.#intersex spaces have made SO much progress and yet#also yes i'm femme! i'm femme in a trans way! many dykes who aren't women are!#many of us got more comfortable w it as adults who had gender agency!#in literally the same way it took my wife ages after transitioning to work out she's also butch and doesn't actually want to do femme thing#bc that's a shared experience in how we've navigated the expectations of womanhood before opting out of the parts we don't want!#anyway the lawcomm shit was fucked bc honestl i don't give a shit if someone lost their gonads as an adult in an accident#they should be protected even if they don't consider themselves intersex#and we know that gender as an axis of oppression comes back to the reproduction of the nuclear family#and that cis women who can't have kids sometimes become the political football though ofc not as much by far and like#idk. y'all ever heard about solidarity? sometimes i feel like i'm back in the place where the loudest traumatised person at the party#is yelling at another young woman like “you'll never understand what it's like to be a victim”#when said young woman was assaulted the week before.#a politics that starts by defending and defining oneself w oppression kinda fucking sucks actually#and intersex people stopped policing intersexness by who got mutilated a long time ago#bc actually we want the generations ahead to not get that treatment#and when i see “trans elders” going on about how “if you pass and got on hrt before 18 you're not trans like i am” i'm like. why! what!#anyway. tired.#may regret this. we shall see#tony muses
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hollowflight-propaganda · 9 months ago
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Me: has my sixth sudden crying spell of the week
Also me: "yeah but I'm probably not ACTUALLY depressed"
#gonna be honest boys. I have been feeling like dogshit#started with me having a good ol' existential spiral at 4 am a week ago and now I don't even know what's bothering me#and then there's all of the bad stuff going on making me anxious for myself and everybody on top of everything#all the abhorrent transphobia has been making me feel worried for the future#(as if the passing of time doesn't already horribly scare me but I digress)#idk man. I already feel like I'm unequipped for the future because I've realized I never thought I'd still be alive right now#majority of my childhood was filled with adults preaching at me to think about where I'd be going in the afterlife so I did just that#that plus they were the type to believe that the rapture is soon cause “the signs are all coming true”#so I always thought that either that would happen or I'd die before now#well. I'm still here and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.#and I'm lonely. really fucking lonely and I'm going mad cause of it#never had actual friends besides the kids I was with at my old private school. now they're all raging conservatives who mock minorities#I was able to get away but moving on isn't as easy as I hoped#it'd be so much easier to betray all my beliefs and act ignorant again so I can have my friends back#but of course I can't do that. I can't throw out who I am and all of the wonderful people I know who would be “sinful” in their eyes#idk man. I think I've finally reached the breakdown I've been feeling coming for the past two years#fuck. sorry for this trauma dump of a post. I've just felt numb for months and now everything's catching up to me#needed to yell about it I guess#vent#phoenix prattles
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entitled-fangirl · 10 months ago
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It's like heaven.
Felix Catton x reader
SMUT
Summary: Felix can't keep his hands off his angel at the party. Smut later in the story.
Words: 1,676
Warnings: p in v, cursing, Oliver being a perv
Author's note: This is from an ask! Y'all are so creative, I love it!!!
Masterlist
18+ please!
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He was utterly speechless.
When he saw her, he was speechless.
She had wanted to surprise him, of course, shooing him from their bedroom when he was finished getting ready for the party so she could get dolled up.
Now, here she stood in a somewhat scandalous piece feeling beautiful, a halo placed on her head for the theme.
He simply stood in the doorway, his jaw dropped.
She saw him in the mirror, whipping around, "Felix! I said to wait until I was done!"
He shook out of his stupor, moving towards her with a smirk, "I forgot my angel wings but JESUS am I glad I came back." He placed his hands on her waist, "I mean, look at you, pretty girl…" His eyes held a look of admiration and lust. 
She stepped back with a giggle, "Not yet. I'm not done. Shoo, Lex…" She then turned around, moving back to finish her eyeliner in the mirror.
He pulled her towards him again, her back hitting his firm abs. His lips began to trace her neck as he looked at her in the mirror, mumbling, "…what is there left to finish, angel?"
She stood when she was satisfied with the eyeliner, turning around in his arms. "…just my shoes. And… I'm no angel."
He smirked leaning down to give a kiss, his voice a slight growl, "you're my angel."
The kiss was sweet and held a lot of emotion, considering how it was soon going to become something more. She pulled away, placing a hand on his chest, "…Lex."
He pulls away with a groan, "Forget the party, beautiful."
She laughs, "No! I got ready for this, Lex. Even if you don't like the birthday boy, we still have to go!"
He would always give in to her. 
He smiles, leaning in towards her again, hands beginning to wander before she stopped him, "What's going on with you tonight?"
"You're just so fucking pretty. My pretty angel. Can't keep my hands to myself."
She reaches down, taking her hand in his before she pulled him out of the bedroom and towards the party.
She was sat on Felix's lap when Oliver opened the door.
Felix was sitting on the small table of the overly-crowded bathroom, the pretty angel balanced on one of his thighs. He sighed when he saw Oliver.
"Felix, can I talk to you for one second?"
She looked at Felix to gauge his reaction, seeing that his eyebrows was slightly raised. He then ignores Oliver's question all together, lighting a cigarette, his other hand on his girl's thigh.
Oliver cleared his throat, "You can't ignore me forever."
He immediately rebutted, "I can try."
"Felix, we need to talk." When Felix didn't move, Oliver became insistent, "Felix, come on!"
He sighed, reaching up to place the cigarette between his angel's lips. She gladly accepts, "Look, man, I tried to be nice, but can you fuck off and bother somebody else?"
The others in the room chuckled at the interaction as they did lines off the table and floor.
Oliver stood in the doorway for a while in thought, his eyes now falling to the angel on Felix's lap. He observed her. Watched her watching him. He then turned, leaving the bathroom.
"Who was that?" Someone asked.
"C'mon, Lex. I wanna dance!"
She pulled him through the crowd by his hand, his wings getting hit as he passed by people, muttering quick apologies. 
"Yes, angel, yes. I'll dance with you. Anything to get you close to me."
The music was blaring, the lights overstimulating, but they didn't care. They were two college kids in love, and nothing would stop them.
He pulled her to him, their bodies pressed close together as they began to dance. 
A frown suddenly pulled to her face.
He leaned down, trying to whisper but having to yell to communicated, "Angel? Are you alright?"
She nods, her eyes staring at something in the distance. 
He turned, following her gaze.
Oliver sat at the sidelines, hoarding a bottle all to him, drinking his problem away.
But it wasn't working.
Because he wouldn't quit looking at them.
And now they noticed.
Felix frowned as well, leaning down to her once more, his eyes not leaving Oliver's, "Fuck him. Don't let him ruin this for us."
She turned back to look at him, "I don't know…"
He laughed, "You got all pretty for me, angel! Let me enjoy it for the night, yeah? No need to worry about what's tomorrow's problem!"
She nodded, letting him pull her back to him.
As his hands began to wander, so were his thoughts. 
God, she was pretty. He was blessed by the gods above for sending an angel so pure and kind as this one. His own little pretty girl. His pretty angel.
A song ended, and Felix reached down, grabbing her hand. He started to pull her away, and she wouldn't resist.
They walked out towards the maze, holding hands. They exchanged giggles as the alcohol kicked in. 
When they neared the entrance, she stopped, "Do you know what you're doing, Lex?"
He nodded, "'Course, angel. Wouldn't take you here if I didn't." He kissed her head, pulling her once again.
They both entered the maze, happy and in love.
What they didn't know, was that Oliver had entered too.
What felt like hours later, and too many turns to count, the two lovers were now in a passionate kiss, their hands wandering over each others bodies. 
He pulled away just enough to speak, "…you want me, angel?"
She nodded, "please…"
He pulled away completely, holding her jaw in his hand, a grin on his face, "I need to hear you say it."
She looked up at him through her eyelashes, her voice soft, "I want you, Felix. Please."
That was all he needed.
They began to pull at each other's clothes, anything that would separate the two from each other. 
She reached up to pull off her halo, but his hand grabbed her wrist, "Don't."
She smiled into the kiss, pulling at his tank top.
Now, maybe half dressed, Felix pulled her up on to the base of the statue, holding her in place. Their kiss never broke as he began to move his fingers further down her body.
Her mouth opened slightly in an intake of breath as his gently pressed a finger into her core.
He smiled, his voice soft, "You can take it, angel. Feels good, yeah?"
She could only let out a whimper as he began to gently pump it in and out of her.
He whispered in her ear the entire time, his voice slightly gravely with lust, "Good… doing so good… stretching you out for me, baby… sweet girl…"
When two fingers were added, she pushed her head into his shoulder to avoid making too much noise.
He found it all amusing, watching her eyes close in concentration as her throat made small noises in pleasure.
When she was finally considered ready by his standards, he gently pulled his cock out. It was already hard at this point. It had been almost the entire night after seeing her in the outfit. 
He grabbed at her jaw again, "You're very sure, angel?"
She was a begging mess, her mind already mush, "please, Lex. Make me feel good, please…"
He smiled, "Anything for my angel."
He gently pushed his cock into her, both letting out a small hiss. 
She grabbed his biceps tightly, her eyes strunched a bit, trying to relax herself. 
His hand were on the bottom of her thighs, giving himself leverage, "… doing so good for me…"
He stopped when he bottomed out, giving her a moment to collect herself and adjust. He used this moment to kiss her neck softly, "God, being in you is like heaven."
And he began to thrust.
She let out small, soft little grunts and moans, her hands moving over his body in search of where to find relief. One hand eventually found his hair, pulling slightly as he let out a small, "oh, fuck."
Only the sound of skin pressed against one another was heard throughout the heart of the maze. 
"You're my angel… such a pretty little angel, aren't you?"
She whimpered, his cock hitting her g spot just right. 
"You're gonna cum for me, aren't you… ugh… good girl… cum for me…"
Her voice was barely heard, "…Lex…."
He grinned, his lips still kissing at her neck, "C'mon, pretty girl. You can give me one-"
Oliver's voice came from the bushes where they entered, "Felix…"
Felix stopped, staring at his sweet little angel, whose eyes were wide with fear. He sighed, "Oh, Jesus Christ!" He pulled his pants back to their original position, zipping them up. He turned around, covering her body with himself, "What the fuck are you doing here?"
"I need to talk to you?"
She placed a hand on Felix's back, her head peering over his shoulder, "Were you spying on us?"
"No, I wasn't." He began to walk forward. 
Felix stood a bit taller, continuing to block Oliver's view. "Mate, let the fucking lady get dressed. You sick fuck."
Oliver held his hands up, turning himself around. 
Felix quickly turned, helping his angel get redressed. 
Once done, he pulled her to him, gently kissing the top of her head. He leaned towards her, whispering in her ear once more, "…go to the bedroom. I'll be there."
She nodded, her eyes filled slightly with tears. She walked forward, going to move past Oliver.
Oliver reached out a grabbed her wrist. He pulled her to him, "May want to fix that." He straightened the halo on her head, watching her nervous reaction, "Wouldn't want people to think you're naughty, do you?"
Felix stepped forward, his voice dark and threatening, "Oliver…"
Oliver let go of the girl, a slight smirk on his face. 
She left the maze to go to the bedroom, having no idea Felix would never see his angel again. 
........................................................
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byfulcrums · 8 months ago
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been rewatching rtte
toothless is called T multiple times, but the letter T doesn't exist in the alphabet of this world
i think hiccup was also called H???
hiccup went to the wedding of the man who tried to kill him and his family multiple times. no wonder he thought he could change drago's mind
snotlout is canonically a theater kid
"you're so small and cuddly" "please never say that again"
the twins are really smart, but they're also just stupid
hiccup straight up disappears when he's working on something
heather had a super noticeable crush on astrid
fishlegs got a love interest!! a plus size main character actually has a cool, badass love interest!
it was super hetnormative but it was cute
there was an island full of flying women who were implied to regularly commit cannibalism
hiccup taught all the riders how to fly with toothless, that's so sweet
everyone is a flat earther except for the twins
hiccup almost directly killed a lot of people
and killed a LOT more when destroying their ships
“scalding– cal..ding--" "toothle, plama bla!" was pretty much the funniest part of the entire series
dagur was bullied as a kid by a guy 8 years older than him who literally tattooed an imagine of him beating up little dagur in his arm??? What was that all about
actually we need to talk about how messed up everything about dagur is and about how the things that could've/did happen(ed) to him may be the reasons why he's Like That
just why was he imprisoned by the outcasts??? he didn't do anything to them directly
oof my brain is spiraling. "he loved you" "ig now we'll never know" what do you mean he didn't know if his dad loved him
there's a technically musical episode
tuffnut became hiccup's defense attorney and immediately got him the death sentence
hiccup regularly jumps off cliffs
he also jumped off a boat, with his arms tied and without toothless. just where did he think he was going
snotlout's annoying attitude is actually because spitelout pressures him too much and he feels like he has to be perfect for his dad :((
THE 'HICCUP'S EVIL MIRROR' VILLAIN THEME DONE RIGHT YESS!!!
viggo is the best httyd villain change my mind (you can't, swords at sundown, you may bring backup but i will win on my own)
skrill comeback skrill comeback SKRILL COMEBACK!!!!
"COMEEE TO DADDY"
what is a boar pit???
oh my god i had missed this series so much. it has no right to be this funny
this was my childhood. it has forever shaped the way i am
berserker heather the unhinged >>>
actually good disability rep! yay
hiccup complains about his peg leg pinching him
he straight up cannot walk without it and it is shown many times
"well, there are the benefits of a metal leg" after it got caught in a bear trap
funny moments, like snotlout trying to steal it to use it as a weapon
the jokes!! toothless laughing at the jokes!!! hiccup being so fucking done with the twins, who are always making the jokes!
there's an episode where everyone is so sleep deprived they actually start spiraling
astrid becomes a happy go lucky girl, hugs snotlout and tells him he's handsome
the fucking mood swings snotlout got were insane
the twins were straight up just hallucinating
"i sent them to wash their dragons, how could they mess that up?" cut to heather falling on her face with a bucket full of water in her hands
fishlegs becomes so paranoid, he's yelling at everyone all the time
"don't you know the trapper's trap can trap the trapper?? ...oh gods, i must be losing it, i'm quoting dagur"
YOOOO VALKA!!!! it's so nice to see her
hiccup tried to murder dagur to stop him from getting to toothless, which is scary bc it shows just how far he's willing to go for his bff, but also funny because hiccup. that was not going to work
oh the hiccstrid slowburn, how i have missed you
the twins's made up language
there was a beach episode turned murder mystery and a musical episode held at gun point
hiccup has a whole little speech that he periodically gives astrid to remind her that the twins serve a purpose
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love-takes-work · 3 months ago
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When Steven Universe knows it is a cartoon (and what kind of cartoon it is)
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They know what they did.
[Image Descriptions: GIFs from Steven Universe.]
[Image 1: Steven (from the short "Steven Reacts") leans into the camera and says in pink text: "I can't wait for the next episode! Whenever THAT is; am I right?"]
[Image 2: Spinel (from Steven Universe the Movie) winds up her arm like a spring with a huge punching glove on the end and yells in pink text: "You can't just make everything better by SINGING SOME STUPID SONG!"]
[Image 3: Amethyst (from the episode "Reformed") plops a sandwich on the counter and says in purple text: "Who wants to watch a cartoon about people crying?" Steven, eyes shining with tears, replies in pink text: "I do!"]
[Image 4: Amethyst (from the episode "Cry For Help") lies on a bed next to Steven who's sitting on the floor, and says in purple text: "It sure would be nice if things worked out the way they do in cartoons."]
[Image 5: Steven, falling down from the sky (from the episode "Steven Floats"), yells in pink text "My floating power's tied to my emotions!" He slaps his face and continues, "Aarrghh, just like all my stupid powers!"]
[Image 6: Pearl, standing unsmiling next to Amethyst as she leans on Steven's head and giggles (from the episode "Too Far"), listens to Peridot offscreen as she says in green text: "Though that doesn't explain the spontaneous singing . . . crying . . . singing while crying. . . . "]
[Image 7: Steven, in yellow pajamas (from the episode "Bismuth"), laughs and says in pink text, "Ya know, usually when I meet a new Gem, they try and kill me," and the screen switches to Bismuth, reacting as Steven continues: ". . . and it takes me forever to become friends with them."]
[Image 8: Peridot and Lapis Lazuli, fighting in the background (from the episode "The New Crystal Gems"), react to Connie in the foreground. Lapis, in blue text, says: "Steven would've had a much better speech." Peridot, in green text, replies: "I know! She didn't even cry."]
[Image 9: In a far shot including Sapphire, Ruby, Bismuth, Peridot, Lapis Lazuli, Spinel, and Steven (from Steven Universe the Movie), Bismuth says in gray text: "I thought you said she was just trying to kill you!" The scene switches to Bismuth, Lapis, and Peridot standing together. Lapis says, in blue text: "Wow, quick turnaround!" Peridot replies, in green text, "No kidding! It took me months to stop trying to kill Steven." Bismuth adds: "I'd say it took me a day, day and a half. . . . " Lapis replies: "I'm STILL on the fence!" They all laugh.]
[Image 10: Sardonyx (from the episode "Know Your Fusion"), says in orange text: "She's not actually in this episode. Do we still have to pay her? Yes? Fair enough."]
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wasteddmoondust · 7 months ago
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little family || remus lupin
pairing: remus lupin x reader 1,258 words, single mom! reader, established relationship, FLUFFY FLUFF, kid fic, maybe i just crave domesticity a/n: back to back fics like who is she... (had this in the drafts for a WHILE) omfg guys this was soooo crazy indulgent I'm gong crazy no i did not proof read but i hope you like it anway
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Remus is just about to leave work when he gets the call. He sees your contact name pop up on his screen, Y/N <3.
"Hello?" he says when he picks up the call.
"Hi, Re," you reply. You voice sounds rushed and anxious. "Do you happen to be free today?"
"I am, love. What is it?" he asks softly, stopping in his tracks to listen to you.
"Something came up at work today that I have to stay and handle, could you pick up Lyla from daycare?"
Lyla, a little girl equivalent to a ball of sunshine. Though you had only been dating for over a year, he sees her as his own.
"Of course I will. I'll bring her back to yours?"
"Yes please, thank you so much. I'll buy takeout for dinner when I'm done. You okay with that?"
"Yeah, sure. I'll go pick her up now."
He hears you heave a sigh of relief over the phone. "I appreciate you so much, I love you."
He smiles. "I love you, too. I'll see you later."
Remus reaches the daycare and realises he doesn't know what he's supposed to do. He walks by the window and sees Lyla colouring in her classroom. She notices the movement and looks up from her drawing. He can't hear her through the window but she's jumping around and cheering at the sight of him, waving excitedly.
He waves back at her, smiling, then notices one of her teachers gesturing to meet her at the entrance.
She gets past the gate to the classroom, leaving Lyla behind. "Hi, I know you're here for Lyla but since you're not her mum I'm going to need your ID," she says pulling out a file from one of the shelves.
He pulls out his wallet and gives it to her and watches her scan a list of what seems to be names of parents of the children.
She takes a few seconds and finally says, "Ah yes, Remus Lupin. You're on her list. I'll get her for you." He watches the teacher look into the classroom and call Lyla.
And then he realises. He's on the list. He's on the list of people who can pick Lyla up from daycare. You put him on the list of people who can pick Lyla up from daycare.
He's snapped out of his thoughts when he hears Lyla's voice. "Remoose!" she yells, running up to him.
"Hiya, angel," he says and picks her up. His heart melts as she immediately wraps her arms around his neck for a hug. "Mummy will join us later, but for now it's just you and me, okay?"
"We can watch TV?" she asks. "And then- then play toys?"
"Mhm, that sounds like a good plan," Remus replies, and they head to your home.
Later, you turn your key to your flat and open the door. You can hear the television playing a movie and the sound of your daughter's laughter. You kick off your shoes and walk into the living room.
Remus is covered in the fake makeup from Lyla's child-friendly kit. His hair is also adorned with little flower hair clips. He sits cross-legged on the floor while she sits in his lap.
"Looks like you had a lot of fun without me, hm?" you say. Lyla jumps at the sound of your voice, immediately running to you.
"Mummy! Remus fetched me today!"
"I know, darling," you kiss her cheek. "I asked him to. Did he take good care of you?"
She nods aggressively. She runs back to Remus, who is already walking up to you.
"Well don't you look pretty today," you tease. He smiles and breathes a soft laugh.
"My makeup artist is talented. She's very serious about this," he presses a kiss to your forehead. "You hungry? I can heat up dinner."
"That'd be great, and then it's time for this bug to go to bed," you pick up Lyla. "Isn't that right?"
She lays her head on your shoulder, visibly getting sleepy as it gets closer to her usual bedtime.
"Say good night to Remus?" you turn your body, so she faces him.
Remus bends down to kiss her hair, "Good night, angel."
Lyla slowly closes her eyes, "G'night..."
Putting your baby to bed goes smoothly, and she easily winds down as she is tucked into bed. She snuggles into her blanket and looks up at you.
"I like it when Remus fetches me from school," you hear her mumble.
You smile at that. "Really?"
She nods. "I really like Remus."
"I really like Remus too, darling."
"I think you get very happy around him, Mummy," she whispers. "You were not very happy last year, but now I see you be happy with him. So I'm happy."
You feel your heart do something. Jump? Lurch? Lyla was right, being a single parent comes with its challenges and you can admit a lot of late nights were spent biting your nails and wiping tears from your cheeks. You tried your best to prevent her from seeing you in that state, but you know she's observant enough for her age.
And that's why you're so thankful to have met Remus. He accepted you despite the fact you had a whole child. He saw you not only as you but also as the mother of your child. He understood that Lyla would always be a priority to you over romance (unlike most men you've met). Despite all its complications, he has been able to fit into your lives as if he's already meant to be there.
A prime example could be taken from today. Surely he could've said no to picking up Lyla from daycare, he's just her mother's boyfriend, after all. But he agreed and handled the rest.
"He does make me really happy," you say to her. "Does he make you happy too?"
"Mhm! He always plays with me and watches shows with me. He also hugs me and kisses me. He makes me happy. He's like my Daddy."
You chuckle, trying to hide the way your heart is going crazy at that. Somehow, you take the leap. "You want Remus to be your Daddy?"
"Can I call him my Daddy?" she asks, her eyes hopeful.
"You'll have to ask him tomorrow," you say, and you wonder what his reaction would be.
"Okay, I'll ask him tomorrow. Good night, Mummy."
You kiss her forehead, "Good night, darling."
You walk out of her room to see Remus placing your plate of food on the table for you. Without saying anything, you approach him and hug him. He hugs you back.
He is silent for a while, swaying your body slowly as you hug. "You were in there for a while, what were you talking about?" he mumbles into your hair.
You take a deep breath and look up at him, chin resting on your chest. "I love you," you say.
He furrows his brows but nods anyway. "I love you, too."
"Lyla wants to call you her dad."
Remus stops swaying. What is he thinking?
"Okay," he says, simply.
You jerk your head back, "Really?"
"Of course, I love her too, you know. I'd be honoured."
Chuckling, you bury your head into his chest and squeeze him. You feel him press a kiss into your hair.
"We're like a little family," he whispers to you. And you can see it too. You, your daughter, and Remus altogether as one.
And there's honestly nothing you want more than that.
a/n: SO LIKE UM this has been in the drafts about the same time as the james one like i said this is just very very indulgent brainrot i still have plans for the james series!!!!!!! ty sm for your support <3 likes and reblogs are always appreciated.
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woso-dreamzzz · 4 months ago
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Wolfsburg II
Hardersson x Daughter!Reader
Part of The Big Adventures Universe
Summary: Your first Wolfsburg match
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When a team signs the greatest goalkeeper in Europe, whatever other goalkeepers move back in the lineup.
When a team signs the greatest goalkeeper in the world, they automatically become the first choice.
When a team signs the greatest goalkeeper of all time, they debut on the first game of the season.
When a daughter signs for the club of her dreams, her mothers make sure to be there for her debut.
It's all so different now.
Pernille can remember her own Wolfsburg debut.
There weren't nearly as many people. None of them really knew her name.
But they know your name. They know who you are.
They love you.
There's people wearing your shirt and screaming your name and holding banners asking for your match-worn jersey.
You've only just joined the team but the fans already love you. They adore you.
You stand in line, staring out ahead of you with laser focus like you don't even notice them.
The Wolfsburg shirt suits you, like you were made for it and you go into your goal without much fuss.
It's the first game of the season and it seems Wolfsburg is already off to a difficult start.
Shots come in quickly but there's a reason you're the best goalkeeper in the world.
Your instincts are unparalleled and you make daring saves that others would only dream of.
One of your defence gives away a penalty and Pernille holds her breath, ignoring the way that her own anxious face appears on the screen.
The penalty sets up.
The ball flies.
You make it look easy. You make it look like a world-class player hadn't just booted a ball at you. It's as easy as if a kid kicked it at you.
The crowd roars behind you but you don't seem the be fazed. You don't even seem to notice them.
Within seconds the ball is released again and you're yelling at you defence to organise themselves or else.
You've just come into the team but you're already taking charge of your backline like you've been there for years.
The respect they have for you is already there. They trust you to know where to direct them. They know that you're not going to steer them wrong.
Halftime ends with you as the hero, catching a ball that seemed destined for the top right corner.
Something happens in the break that has Wolfsburg coming out the gate charging with two goals being scored in the opening five minutes and you're not troubled for the rest of the match.
It's a perfect debut for you, proving to everyone that you're worth the massive paycheck you're being given.
"I'm so proud of you," Pernille says as you come up the barrier," Look at you! Wolfsburg's finest!"
"I can't be Wolfsburg's finest," You complain," I've only just joined."
"Well you're certainly the hero today," Magda says, reaching out to pat your head," I counted at least four goals that would have gone in without you."
"Any goalkeeper would have saved them."
Pernille loves you deeply but this is a part of you that really annoys her.
You have a complete inability to accept a compliment. It would be endearing if it wasn't so annoying.
"But that penalty?" Magda continues," That's all you."
Pernille watches as red appears on your cheeks and you glance down bashfully, scuffing your toe in the dirt.
"Yeah," You finally admit," I am good at penalties."
"Yes," Magda says," You are."
"Good at penalties for a perfect debut," Pernille says, pulling you into a hug.
You try to squirm away. "Momma! I'm sweaty and gross!"
"I gave birth to you," Pernille says decisively," A little sweat means nothing."
"But still," You reply, still trying to shove her back," You'll have to let me go so I can change. We've got dinner booked soon."
"No," Pernille teases, squeezing you even tighter," No. Oh, I just want to keep you here forever and ever!"
"Momma! You're embarrassing me!"
"Good. That's my job."
"Pernille," Magda says," Let her go. You can hug her at dinner."
Pernille finally does let you go and you head off to shower and change.
But as you go, all Pernille can see is that little girl wearing her jersey and declaring Wolfsburg is the team you'll play for one day.
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hoshigray · 1 year ago
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Alright, y'all, here's the plan: you're not quite aware of what Toji does for work, yet you keep quiet. But one night, the man comes home bleeding, and you can't keep your worries to yourself anymore. However, for your protection, Toji isn't ready to reveal his assassin business to you. And, in the heat of the moment, ends up saying something that hurts you instead...
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A/n: (Reuploaded bc I forgot smthn) This prompt was picked from a poll to celebrate the 300+ followers milestone (pssst tysm for 450+ you lovelies :D) two weeks back. Truthfully, I don't think this is my best work after proofreading, but I did my best. Probably bc 1) it's longer than I intended, and 2) I procrastinated waaaaay too much with this. I don't even think I made sense halfway through, lol, but fuck it, we ball. Anyways, like last time, there is art drawn by me (@hoshigaby) but it'll be found deep in the fic :33
I hope you enjoy the ride and reblogs + replies are much appreciated!! Also, don't be alarmed that Y/n in the drawing looks of a dark complexion, feel free to use your imagination if it doesn't suit you. But do not edit it; be an adult and ignore it if it's not your taste.
Cw: Toji x fem!reader - arguing/yelling - fingering (fem! receiving) - mating press - Daddy kink - first Toji is sour, then he's sweet bc he's whipped for you :) - clitoral play (pressing down and a pinch) - praise - breast fondling + nipple play - pet names (angel, baby, darlin', honey, kid, mama/ma, princess, sweetheart/sweetie) - Megumi mean-mugging his father while Tsumiki and Shiu Kong tell him to do better lol - mentions of blood and stab wound; isn't fully healed so reopens.
Wc: 5.8k
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"Uhh, are you sleeping on the couch?"
"Yes. Yes, I am."
"...Why??"
You scrunch your brow at your phone, looking at the two people you're talking to through the screen. "I know you're not about to get on my case over where I'm sleeping."
On the L-shaped couch lay you, cuddled up with a fluffy blanket and memory foam pillow, one hand holding your phone while another wrapped around a stuffed plushy. You were on a video call with your best friends: Utahime and Mei Mei.
Utahime, lying on her bed with a face mask, replied to you. "Oh, I'm definitely getting on your case because it's supposed to be the other way around!"
"True, but I like the couch anyways." You puff at the woman who's not satisfied with your answer. "Plus, I'm on the L-part of the couch, so it's practically like a bed!"
Your other friend, Mei Mei, chuckles at her screen. Icy blue hair pulled up in a bun with reading glasses positioned atop her forehead, probably counting her tips on her desk like she always does before bed. "My my, this is the fourth night this week. What did your man say to make you this upset?"
Memories of what happened before come back to you, and so does the exhausting irritation you've been trying to keep at bay.
It was a quiet night like this one as the rain fell hard on the silent streets. You've just put Tsumiki and Megumi to sleep and waited in the living room, watching a movie to pass the time. It was pretty late into the night when you heard the door open as drowsiness settled in. Nevertheless, you got up to greet the man you'd been waiting for coming from the entrance, but you weren't prepared for the sight that instantly woke you up.
Toji Fushiguro, groaning and leaning against the wall with his black jean jacket drenched from the rain. A hand was clenched on the left side of his torso, deep red tarnishing his plain white shirt. He was heaving in an attempt to even his breathing, but when he caught a glimpse of you standing before him, he was quick to try and play it off with a worn-out grin. "Hey, baby." His familiar deep voice was strained in subtle agony.
Worry bubbles within, and you rush towards him. "Oh my God, Toji, what happened!?" You remind yourself to not be too loud as the children are still asleep, so you rely on whisper yellings while walking him up to your shared bedroom.
Even in the room, Toji doesn't explain himself. Just silent hushes and cajoles that he's alright. "I'm fine, honey. Just tell me where's the first aid box." Pointing at the bathroom cabinet, you watch him leave your side to grab the kit. The crimson spilling from him is caused by a stab wound he reveals when he sits on the bathtub, lifting his shirt. You can feel your eyes water, imagining the pain he's going through when he hisses from putting on rubbing alcohol on the gash.
The words you want to say feel so forbidden. Your fingers fidget amongst themselves with the irregular beat of your chest. Don't say it, Y/n. Keep your mouth shut. Don't—
"Is this from work?"
Green eyes shoot back in your direction, and you immediately feel yourself sinking into a pool of regret.
Talk of Toji's occupation wasn't something you brought up much. Even at the beginning of your relationship, he didn't indulge in any insights about what he does, so you eventually quit after a few failed attempts. However, with all the nights he's come home while you sleep or the new scars you point out yet are brushed off, your anxiousness for him keeps festering. And seeing him with his own blood on his hands made you wonder how many nights he has pulled off doing such without your knowledge.
Toji's eyes go back to his wound. "Don't worry 'bout it." The stern tone of his voice has your blood turn cold. He didn't want to entertain this, especially in the wee hours of the night.
And yet you still persist. "No, Toji, I'm serious." You can see him glare at you through the raven bangs shading his forehead. A warning. But it doesn't stop you. "I'm getting worried about you."
From there was when the argument came. Every point you've made to him was shut down at once. His cold responses pierced you. Usually, you'd do what you can to avoid this type of confrontation. But now, it hurts even more when he doesn't cooperate with you, your concerns disregarded like rubbish.
"Damn it, Y/n!" Toji barks at you, seething through the physical pain as a fist bangs hard on the bathroom cabinet. "Why's it so hard for you to stay out of this?"
"Well, if you would tell me things instead of pushing me out the way, then maybe I wouldn't have to!" At this point, you're fighting the tears from falling. Your face hot with frustration, but you still speak. "Toji, I've done so much for you and the kids, and I—"
"No one told you to do—"
"Yet I STILL do!" It's your turn to yell. "I care about you deeply, same with Tsumiki and Megumi. I don't ask for much, Toji. But I want you to open your life to me just a little, even when you're hurt like this!"
His emerald eyes remain rigid despite your pleas to him. And what he said next had you still to the core. You can recall the beat of your heart corrupting your senses while the tears stride down.
"If you were goin' to be a thorn on my side like this, I wouldn't have let you be in it in the first place."
"He said WHAT!!??" Utahime shrieks after you retell the situation to your friends.
You nod your head. "I just looked at him, and he looked at me. Then I turned, picked my pillow up, and headed downstairs to this couch."
To say the dark-haired woman was livid was an understatement. "And tell me WHY this fucker isn't the one sleeping on this couch, again??"
"Even if I did tell him to sleep on the couch, he probably would say something like, 'Tch, why should I? I pay bills for this damn house,' and yadda, yadda." This is true, apart from the man being injured, so having him move would've been immoral. "Plus, I just really wanted to get outta the room, so I went ahead and moved myself out."
"So? You pay bills too, what the hell!? Good God, Y/n," Utahime shakes her head. "You sure we can't pummel this dude?"
"Yes, I'm sure. Besides, I'm getting used to ignoring him when I see him around the house. But, oh my God, guys, his kids," the phone panned down to the plush toy and the pink, fluffy blanket. "Miki saw me sleeping here the other morning and gave me this blanket. And Gumi — he's such a sweetie. He gave me his favorite froggy toy to sleep with to scare off his dad from 'bothering me in my dreams.' "
"Hmm, how adorable." Mei Mei comments. "Funny how such darlings can come from a guy like that."
Utahime nods rapidly and throws in her opinion. "Listen, Y/n, you shouldn't think you outta be in every part of that man's life. Even so, he should at least know how to compromise. I mean, come on, you take care of him, the kids, the house, and go to work with us. All of that just for you to sleep on a couch!?"
"You're not gonna let this couch thing go, aren't you?" The pale blue-haired woman chuckles again, and Utahime sighs. "But she's right, Y/n. It takes a certain kind of person to have the patience to do what you do in a relationship with a single father and two children. I'm sure Utahime would've left with all her hair out."
The dark-haired one gets up from her bed and takes her device with her, heading to the bathroom to finish her skin care. "Now, why am I the one used as an example?"
"Because you're the most vocal about a relationship that isn't yours." A sly smile is painted on Mei Mei's face after she hears a 'hmph!' from the other as Utahime removes the mask and washes her face. "My point is that you like this man — love him even. But that love shouldn't cost you to be so emotionally drained. Perhaps he understands this, except it wasn't the perfect moment for you two to express yourselves. Maybe talk to him when you two stop the silent treatment."
All you do is hum aimlessly, too wrapped in what your friend said to give a proper response. Then you yawn, your body signaling you to finally rest. "I'll sleep on that thought. Night, girlies~~" You wave and send kisses to the other two. They do the same as you leave the video call, placing the phone on the coffee table and snuggling up with the blanket and plush toy.
You try to distract yourself by thinking of what you'll do tomorrow. You gotta get up and make breakfast for Tsumiki and Megumi before waking them up, then head to the station and take the bus to work. Maybe you can finally try that new café close by with Mei Mei and Utahime for lunch. And when you return home, you should whip up something fun for the kids to eat.
Perhaps, make something for Toji since he sometimes forgets to feed himself when you're not around. Or if he's leaving for work, wish him a safe trip back home like always. And...if he's down for it...you can find the right time......to talk...about......
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The moment you closed your eyes, it felt as though you were sleeping on your own bed again. When you turn to your side, your body descends into the feeling of cold sheets beneath you. It was pretty comfy! Plus, the blanket—
Wait...Sheets?
Your eyes slowly open to the sight of bedsheets underneath you. Navigating out of the sleepy stupor, you make out parts of your surroundings to know that you're not in the living room anymore. You slowly rise up to face the door of the bedroom. Your shared bedroom.
A sudden cough alerts you, forced as if to grab your attention. A chill crawls up your spine. Oh God, no. You turn to the side to see the man accompanying his side of the bed. And there he was, Toji, lying on his side with his head resting on a hand, looking dead at you. His raven hair looked damp from a recent shower, sporting only a grey wifebeater and dark sweatpants.
"Hey," is all he says to you. No smirk and no nickname followed with the greeting. Just a simple address to you with his green eyes softly watching yours. You almost fall into their inviting spell the more you look at them.
Nonetheless, it's not compelling enough since you remember he's the man you fought with four days ago — the same man you weren't prepared to see right now. You quickly turn away from him and lift the comforter to exit the room. However, Toji grabbed your wrist before your feet could touch the floor, his grip too strong for you to pull away from him.
You avoid eye contact with him, your back facing him. "Toji, let me go. I'm going to sleep."
"Then sleep."
"On the couch, Toji." You try and pull again. Nothing.
"Fuck that, just sleep here. I didn't carry you up here for nothin'."
You shake your head as you exhale through your nose. Of course, he carried me here. "Whatever happened to you not wanting me to be a part of your life?"
The words that left your lips surprised you and the grip around your wrist tightens. You didn't mean to say them, but it was the truth because they were his own words. Or did you?
Still facing away from Toji, you're unable to see his reaction. Oh shit, is he angry? Is he going to let me go after that?
"Darlin', please..." His deep voice hushed for only you to hear. "I just really need you with me here. Just for tonight...." His hold lessens, leaving you to decide whether you should stay.
The silence is uncomfortable for both of you — especially for Toji, who has you where he wants you to be, where you're supposed to be. As seconds pass when he doesn't hear from you, the nervousness that used to exist before your relationship rises back into the pit of his stomach. And his soul drops down when you remove your wrist from his hand.
Though, to his surprise, your hand lifts the comforter up while your legs move back on top of the mattress. You lay back down with a sigh, your back still facing Toji. "Did you give Miki back her blanket?"
Toji exhales quietly, situating himself back on his side of the bed. "Yeah, and Megumi with his toy."
You hum, and the silence fills the room once more.
Toji looks at nothing but your figure next to him, watching the rise and fall of your shoulder as you breathe silently, your face nestled comfortably on the pillow. To think it's been half a week since he last saw you in this room is hard to believe.
That night when you left him really stuck with him. The image of your face covered in tears was all he envisioned, the same with you grabbing your pillow and exiting the room. After tending his stab wound, he went down to talk it out. Yet when Toji saw you sleeping soundly on the couch with dried tears painting your pretty face, he didn't dare wake you up and just went to bed.
And it was worse the following days. Not only did he have you avoiding him at every chance, but he had to deal with the judgmental looks of his children. Never in his life has he seen Megumi give him glares that meant business. If looks could kill, Toji would be finished. And Tsumiki, his sweet little girl, now pesters him about being nice to Y/n, saying he should think about their feelings and apologize.
But what about his feelings? Does no one understand that he was just trying to keep you out of business that you didn't need to fret over? He's very aware that his job is not a normal one. It's dangerous, and anyone around him can get hurt or worse. Hence, keeping you away from this part of his life keeps you and his family safe. If not knowing he's an assassin keeps you from harm's way, why change that.
At least...that's what he thought, not what he said.
Even Shiu Kong, his handler, had something to say after telling him what had happened during lunch today. "Wow. I knew you were trash, but I didn't know you were that dumb, too." The man snickers when Toji shoves a middle finger his way. Shiu lights another cigarette after discarding the one he finishes. "Well, how were they supposed to know you were watching out for them? If someone you love comes to your front door bloody and sick, whose safety are you worrying about?"
Toji says nothing to that, letting the other man resume speaking some sense into him after taking a long sig from his cigarette.
"Look. I can't promise that this angel of yours wants to stay with you after what you said. That's all up to them. But until they decide that, I hope your dumbass realizes when someone sticks with you literally through blood and pain, that's someone who cares for you to the Moon and back. Not saying you should tell them what you do, but a nice word or two of comfort is all they need. If you're not that big of an idiot, reconcile and let them know you care about them."
"...Reconcile and let them know you care about them..."
If there's one thing that Toji has trouble with, it's knowing how to use his words. It was a tiny problem in the earlier stages of your relationship, but as time flew, you could guess how much the tall man cherishes you by his actions rather than words.
The older man knows that you know he loves you. But now, when he's pushed into a position where words are necessary to portray his real feelings for you, he feels stumped.
"If you were goin' to be a thorn on my side like this, I wouldn't have let you be in it in the first place."
Toji grimaces at his own words replaying in his head. Why the fuck did I say that?
"Whatever happened to you not wanting me to be a part of your life?"
Your words ring in his mind. Why did I fuckin' say that for? What the hell is wrong with me? What did—
"Toji?"
He returns to reality, eyes moving back to your still silhouette.
"I know you're still awake, so I'm gonna ask this." Toji braces himself for whatever your soft voice muttered. "Whatever job you're doing, is it a dangerous one?"
Shit. The dreaded talk is here, and Toji cannot escape it.
"Yeah."
"Are you good at your job?"
"It's the only thing I'm good at."
You nod your head aimlessly to his answer. Then you turn around to face the anxious older man. The moonlight peaking through the window blinds illuminates your face beautifully while Toji's breathing slows.
"I don't think that's true," you continue to answer. "You're good at being a father to Tsumiki and Megumi. Not the best, but a decent one nonetheless. You're also good at caring for me; letting me live with you and your family proves that. And lastly," Toji gulps with a dry throat.
"You're good at loving. You say you're lousy at it, but there's love in everything you do for me. It's there when you look at me whenever you think I'm unaware. Or when you silently grab my hand when in crowded areas. Or," a small chuckle exits from you. "When you carry me up from downstairs to the bedroom."
Toji's jade eyes lock in with yours, waiting for you to avert your gaze away from him. But you don't. You keep looking at him. You keep spoiling him. This type of recognition is something Toji never thought he deserved, so you giving it to him so effortlessly makes his growing guilt eat him alive.
"I care about you so much, Toji." You shift closer to Toji and bring a hand to his cheek, causing the man to lift his brows. Your face is only a few inches away from his. "What happened yesterday really scared me. All I could think about was the wound and all the scars you have. Where they all came from and how deep they are. Or......you never coming back."
"Baby..." Toji absently refers to you with a sweet name, placing his big hand on top of yours on his cheek. He lets you finish.
"I know you can't guarantee coming back to me unscathed, but I just want you to promise me something: please let me know you'll be okay. When you're gone, I can only hope you make it back home safely. So, just promise to not get yourself killed." A sheepish smile is used to ease the serious tone. "Even if I'm not in your life, I'm sure Tsumiki and Megumi would be pretty upset to not have you around."
Toji scoffs. "Trust me, I'm sure they'd leave me the moment you step out the door." That makes you laugh, and it has the man swooning hearing it. His hand moves to your cheek, and you allow him to stroke it with a thumb. "And I wouldn't blame 'em. Havin' such a beautiful and loving angel slip through my fingers?"
"Toji..."
"I'm sorry for what I said and scarin' you like that. If you aren't here with me, as part of my life and all, then I don't think I can't make a promise like that. You're too good fr' me, and I'm sorry if I didn't seem to appreciate you until now."
And you know he's genuine with his plea, his green eyes gauging your reaction to see if he's worth another chance. All you do is sigh and lift yourself up, wipe his wet bangs from his forehead, and kiss it. "Not the best apology, but I accept it."
He drones, relishing the feeling of your lips on him again. "So, are we cool, kid?"
"Yeah," you peer down at him with a smile, and he does the same. "We're cool. However, if you ever yell at me again, don't be surprised when I pack my bags."
"Oh yeah?" Toji raises a brow. "I'll be careful, then."
"You better." Hushed chuckles are shared to comfort the silence, enjoying the closeness between you two that felt like forever to have again. Just the two of you with you giggling above him and the light from the window cascading an ethereal glow to your features. Your teeth shied behind pretty lips, lips he wanted to kiss.
And you catch him looking. You notice him wanting you, needing you. Just as much as you need him. You slowly lean down to his face, planting your soft lips on his rigid pair.
Toji's surprised by the action for a moment, but he moans into your mouth and pulls you into him closer. The kiss starts off nice and slow yet quickly changes to one filled with passion and desire. Teeth clashing, tongues exchanging, sweet moans paired with aroused groans.
As you two are lost in each other's lips, Toji carefully maneuvers you on your back with him on top of you. Your legs find purchase around his waist as he rocks into your core, rocking your hips together in a steady rhythm by the second.
His hand snakes down to your lower region, fingers brushing past your pajamas and onto your panty-covered vulva. The intrusion has you breaking the kiss with heavy breaths filling the silent, moonlit room. He busses your chin down to your neck as shaky mewls slip out your mouth.
"Haaah, Toji, we shouldn't. It's late—Hmmm..." Your whimpers don't stop him from pulling your pajamas and undergarments off.
"It's okay, sweetheart, lemme make it up to you." He says in-between kisses on your clavicle, pulling up your shirt to reveal your bare chest. His free hand fondles a breast before his mouth goes for the other. "Let Daddy take care of you..."
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The sudden combination of his thick fingers intruding between your nether folds and his mouth sucking and licking your sensitive nipple has you whining in bliss, your hand gripping his wet raven hair resulting in a satisfied groan from the older man. Toji missed this — missed you — close to him, under him on this bed.
One finger plays with your wet chasm for a few moments before it's inserted inside. A shriek is let out as your cunt adjusts to the digit. "Mmmph! Oh God, Daddy, your fingers...Ahhh!"
A soft 'pop' leaves from Toji's mouth when pulled back from sucking on your nipple, his tongue lapping around the sensitive nob. "What's that, mama? My fingers feelin' good?" You nod rapidly, but that's not the answer Toji's looking for, so he bites on your nipple gingerly yet hard enough for you to jolt. "Daddy wants your words, angel."
"Yesss, yes, your fingers feel soo good," You mewl to him, and Toji chuckles dangerously low while rewarding you with another digit in your slick-coated hole. His abrupt middle finger joins his forefinger in attacking your velvety walls, and your voice shifts higher in ecstasy.
The sounds of Toji's tongue licking around your nipple coincide with the squelches between his fingers and your gushy slit. Your brain starts to short-circuit.
"Ahh! Ahhh! Daddy, I can feel—I'm gonna," Toji's fingers pick up the pace. You're so close to release, you can feel it.
"Gonna be good and cum on Daddy's fingers, right, baby?"
"Mhmmm, I wanna co—Oh, Jesus, I wanna come. Hoooooh..."
"Then go ahead, princess. Mess 'em up." Toji comes up to kiss your forehead as his fingers go irrationally fast, and a thumb sneaks to press down on your unattended clit. With a choked cry, you spasm and cream on his thick digits. He watches you finish, loving the image of your head pushed back on pillows and your body arching towards him.
He dismisses himself from you once you're done, licking his fingers of your essence and taking off his wifebeater and pants. The image of his free cock has you biting your lower lip in anticipation as you discard your shirt to the bedroom floor as well. When you look at Toji, you notice the bandaged patch on his left side. He sees you glimpsing, quick to ease your concerns. "I'll be fine, darlin'. Won't go too crazy." Looking at his scarred body in a new light, you nod and follow his lead.
Toji carries your legs up to move to the right of his shoulder, situating you two into a mating press. His dick aligns with your glossy cunt. Precum meets slick and lubricates the two sexes pushing into each other. Toji coaxes you. "Too tense, ma. Relax fr' me." You prepare yourself with even breaths, and the man pushes into you with each exhale.
The head of his cock enters, a cry departs from your lips, and Toji hisses with the tightness of your slit. His hips go slow, making sure your walls accommodate every vein and dent of his dick as it ventures deep within you. Hits to your G-spot have you babbling incoherent prayers, gripping the sheets under you.
When his cockhead finally meets your cervix, you sob his name in rapture. Toji smirks, dialing the pace of his thrusts up. "Mmmm, Christ, yr' tight pussy. So fuckin' perfect fr' me."
Every stroke prompts a euphoric moan from you, drool escaping your lips as your mind turns into putty. The noises of his pelvis smacking on your ass feel so wrong to hear, yet you can't help but grip around Toji's girthy length. It gets worse when he presses his entire body weight on you, forcing you to take his cock and abusing your tender cervix with every deep rut.
As for Toji, he's enjoying seeing you writhe and pant under his bow. The corner of your eyes sprinkled with tears, your mouth wailing in euphoric chants, the way your cunt clamps around his dick when he grinds his hips deep onto your come-covered folds. He can never get enough of this, enough of you, driving him so fucking crazy.
"Daddyyy, I'm gonna—Ahhaaaa!!" Toji's now going at an erratic cadence, his cock churning your insides as his heavy balls slapping your folds being the only things you can listen to. Your whines get higher and higher while chasing your climax. "Cu-cumming, I'm gonna cumm—Ohhh!!"
"Hnngh! Oh, shit, fuck, fuck. Me too, kid, me too," Toji groans into your ear. God, his deep voice makes your brain mush. "Oooooh, want me to fill you up, mama?"
Your head nods frantically, tears now staining your face. "Yessss, please, Daddy!! I want it!" Toji hears your pleas and smashes his mouth into yours, moans swapped between lips with tongues daubed in saliva. A hand is moved down to your clit, pinching the spot between Toji's forefinger and thumb. And your pussy tightens around his cock one last time before you peak onto him.
The fluttery spasms of your walls clenching around Toji have him finish in three deep strokes, spurting his seed inside you before he relaxes his heaving body on yours. The kiss breaks with you two huffing and panting, the final moments of your high finally depleting out of your nude bodies.
His green eyes take in your dazed expression, calloused fingers wiping your tears away. "How's that for an apology?"
"You pervy old man," You chuckle to yourself, so out of breath. "You're more of a man of action anyway, so you pulled through. "
"Hehe, I'll take it." He cups your jaw with his big hand, your eyes locked in with his. "I love you so fuckin' much, baby. Sorry for ever making you think otherwise."
You blink once. Twice. Your hands come up to his face, and a finger swipes away black bangs stuck to his sweaty forehead. "I love you too, Toji. I would've left your ass if you weren't."
Toji smiles and leans in to kiss your swollen lips with his scared ones; however, a sharp pain stops him, prompting the big man to yell out. Worried, you try to assess what's wrong. Then you see it: the blood-stained bandage on his left side.
A gasp catches his attention, and Toji turns to what you're gawking at. His body freezes, seeing the trail of blood exit from his reopened wound.
"Ahhhh shit..."
⋆⁺。˚⋆˙‧₊✩₊‧˙⋆˚。⁺⋆
"Well, well, well," Utahime smirks at you through the screen. "I see you're not on the couch anymore."
You smile sheepishly as you lie on the pillows and headboard of your shared bed. Tsumiki and Megumi huddle beside you, napping blissfully around your presence under Tsumiki's pink blanket.
"Yeah, we made up last night." To avoid disturbing the children, you reply in whispers.
Mei Mei hums. "I see that. I assume you two had a nice talk about it?" You open your mouth, but no words come out. The two women quirk up a brow.
"Oh? I take it that there was more than just talking." Utahime chimes in, her smile going ear to ear while your eyes avoid the screen. "No wonder we didn't see you at work today. The dick so good it saved your relationship, huh?" She laughs at you hushing her up for using crude language while the children sleep. "Well, happy you two figured it out. But don't think I won't come over there and beat his ass the next time I see you on that couch."
"I second that," Mei Mei agrees. "But Uta can do the beatdown; I'm more interested in what he has in his wallet."
"Not much, I'll tell you that." you correct your friend. "I'm the one who takes care of his finances for safe-keeping."
"Well, that makes things easier for me."
The three of you laugh through your devices. Then you hear heavy footsteps drawing closer from the stairs. "Oop, he's back now. I'll talk to you guys later!" You hurriedly wave and kiss your friends goodbye before ending the video call. The bedroom door opens, and there he is.
Toji flashes a quick smile at you before it vanishes once he sees his kids nestled around you. "I was hopin' to get some alone time with you."
You giggle as you brush Tsumik's hair away from her pretty face. "You're back early. Is your wound okay now?"
"Hmph, yeah, thanks to you pushin' me out the way and grabbin' for the first aid kit." Toji pokes fun at you for the event from last night, where you immediately pushed the brawny man off of you and ran for the tools necessary to treat his open injury the moment you saw blood. You chuckle and watch the tall man climb into bed. "Doc said it should fully heal within a week or two. Why the squirts here?"
"They were happy to find me back in the room for a nap, so they joined me and kept me company." Megumi snuggles close to you for warmth, and you pick him up to your chest.
"Well, they're takin' my spot."
"I don't think they care."
Toji pinches your nose for your snarky remark, and you wriggle out of his fingers with quiet chuckles. His hand then cups your face and pulls you to face him, his emerald eyes softly gazing into you.
"You know I love the hell outta you, right?" His deep voice sounds sweet to the ears. You purr into his hand. "And I hope you know I'm the same for you." He nods. You smile.
He hesitates for a split second, but Toji leans close to kiss your tender lips. Only for a tiny hand to come smacking him in the face, halting him from further movement. To the shock of you both, Megumi was back awake, sending a mean look at his father.
Toji groans in annoyance. "What was that for, brat?"
"For making Y/n sad." Megumi keeps his hold on you secure as he and Toji mean-mug each other. Queuing Tsumiki from her slumber, defending you from her father. "Apologize or stay away!" The little girl warns the older man.
You're quick to break up the mini-fight amongst the Fushiguros. "Alright, kids, no need to worry about me. Your dad already apologized to me by promising to take us out for dinner tonight." Childish faces beam in delight while Toji shifts to instant puzzlement. "Now go get ready and put on your shoes!" Tsumiki and Megumi do just that, rushing out of your shared room and to their own.
When you can't hear the pitter-patter of little feet anymore, you feel big strong arms haul you into Toji's embrace, attacking you with tickles. You try to squirm your way out, but it's no use when he uses his body to cage you in. "Who told you to make promises on my name, huh? You tryna be bratty with me, kid?" He grins at your ticklish suffering.
"Then don't you—Oh God, stop!" It's difficult finishing your statement while fighting back laughter and screams. "Don't you ever yell at me again!"
He stops tickling you, thank God. You catch your breath as Toji looks at you under him with a proud smile. "I don't plan on it, sweetie. Now c'mere."
Toji finally has his lips placed on your soft ones, and you happily return the favor by wrapping your arms around his neck to pepper him with delicate kisses. But the romantic atmosphere vanishes when the children come and dogpile on Toji after hearing your ticklish screams, forcing the older Fushiguro off of you to deal with his kids with tickles of their own.
Observing the children laugh and squirm under Toji's merciless fingers, a soft smile adorns your face watching the domestic display before you and thinking how lucky you are to witness such a thing. Well, that's before all three of them turn to you and bring you another ticklish horror.
And despite the torture, your screams and giggles are filled with pure joy and contentment, and you wouldn't have it any other way.
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chrissdollie · 11 months ago
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can you imagine bakugou having a gf whos a teacher?? think of him having a girl who teaches kindergarten :( when he sees u teaching a student ab counting apples or something, his mind is going to be flooded with thoughts of having children with you. just watching you being so gentle nd sweet with the little brats munchkins turns his brain into mush.
one day, he pays a visit to your classroom wearing his hero costume for a requested q&a. everybody's in awe just looking at him, even if they don't know who he is. the students whisper to their friends at small desks as bakugou's large figure just struts in loll.
you give him a tiny little peck when he walks inside, to which some kids snicker and "ooohh". you clap your hands together to grab their attention. "okay boys and girls, let's walk over to the magic carpet for circle time!" you announce, leading your boyfriend to the large rug where two chairs were set.
the kids sit crisscrossed in a circle excitedly waiting to talk to the number two hero. bakugou grows shy as he sits down somewhat awkwardly. he feels silly, speaking to crowds ten times bigger than this on a daily basis was nothing, so what's the big deal? "today we have a special guest joining us for circle time! does anyone know who he is?" you grin toothily as many hands go up. "yes, ryu?" you pick on an adorable little boy in the center of the carpet. "that's mr. dynamite from the news!" he yelled.
"that's right, ryu! but let's use our inside voices, please." you smiled. "does anyone know what mr. dynamite does?" you questioned again. one little girl was squirming in her seat, hand held high. "go ahead, kanako." you nodded to the girl who sat up straighter upon being called on.
"he saves people, l/n-sensei!"
"damn right i do." bakugou smirked pridefully. you lightly nudged his shoulder. "no cursing." you whispered. he rolled his eyes but listened nonetheless. "okay, starting from this side of the rug," you pointed to the left. "you can ask anything you want to the hero, as long as you are kind. and if you don't have a question just say 'pass' and we'll go straight to the next person." you announced. all the children nodded in unison.
"start us off, please." you handed the 'talking mic' to the first kid. "mr. dynamite sir, where are your blasters?" he curiously turned his head to the side. "huh?-" bakugou looked down at his hands. "my gauntlets? left those guys at work. they're too powerful to be here." he answered.
the punks students continued to ask their questions and bakugou replied calmly like this was an everyday event. "you're big." a boy stated. bakugou quirked a brow. that's all this brat had to say? "i know." he replied nonchalantly. "why?" the kid blinked, keeping a straight face.
"uh, why?? i dunno, kid. jus' the way i am." he shrugged, not really knowing how to answer. the kid folded his arms and moved to sit on his knees. "it's my turn now.." a quiet girl next to him tapped on his shoulder, reaching out for the mic. the boy stuck out his tongue at her before turning away to look at bakugou again. "thas' not a real answer."
"kenji, that wasn't kind. you had your turn, now please give the mic to haru." you frowned. haru's eyes turned glossy and her lip began to quiver, but kenji still wasn't letting up. "thas' not fair, sensei!" kenji whined.
"hold it, kid." bakugou stepped in. kenji's attention turned to bakugou, an angry pout written all over his face. "ya ask me sum dumb question," he began. oh gosh, a dumb question? he's not wrong, but he can't say that to a 5 year old! "katsuki." you muttered, trying to get him to stop. but he kept going anyway.
"but i answered it, right? y'r not being a team player to y'r classmate, buddy." bakugou finished, waiting to see what would happen next. the room fell silent. kenji had listened, handed the microphone to haru. he was still upset though, everyone could see it.
"one minute, haru. kenji," you called out. the boy looked up with fat tears in his eyes. "is there something you want to say to your friend?" kenji wiped his eyes with the back of sleeve and mumbled "sorry." to haru. "is okay." haru accepted happily with a toothy grin.
bakugou leaned back in his chair, feeling satisfied with himself as the questions continued. huh, who knew right? you could get used to this.
when the period was over, bakugou waved goodbye to all the kids. however, he bent down in front of kenji and put his fist out. although the child was still somewhat annoyed, he couldn't hold in his grin as he fist bumped a pro hero. "let's all say 'thank you' to, mr. dynamite!" you stood up from your chair, folding your hands together.
"thank you, mr. dynamite!!"
bakugou kissed your cheek and walked to the door with you following behind. you opened the door and he adjusted his mask quickly. he ruffled your hair. "see ya at home, babe."
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thevoidstaredback · 5 months ago
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How To Balance Your Daytime and Nighttime Activities So That You Don't Burn Yourself Out More Than You Already Have
A knock on the door was not what Danny was expecting that evening. In the two weeks of observation and one week of actually staying with the man, Danny had figured that Dick, for as friendly as he is, did not have many friends. And if he did, they didn't visit him a lot, if at all. So, a knock on the door exactly thirty minutes before Nightwing was set to go out was a suspicious surprise.
He answered it anyway.
On the other side of the door was a kid about his age, an inch or two taller. He had dark hair, pale skin, bright blue eyes, and eyebags dark enough to rival Danny's own. He also smelled faintly of coffee.
"Um," Danny started dumbly. "Hello?"
"I'm looking for Richard Grayson." The kid's accent was stronger than Dick's, putting him as a born and raised Gotham resident. There was also a hint of something that reminded Danny of Sam's parents. This kid comes from money.
"And you are?"
Obviously upset about being stalled, he huffed, "Timothy Drake. Are you going to let me in now?"
How does someone sound so rude and so polite at the same time? Obviously a skill Danny needs to learn. "Why-"
"Who's at the door, Danny?" Dick called from the hallway, making his way closer. He was in his Nightwing costume, minus the mask, but had covered it with a hoodie and sweatpants.
"Tim Drake," Tim introduced himself again, pushing Danny out of the way and entering the apartment to greet Dick with a handshake. "You're Bruce's Wayne's kid, Richard 'Dick' Grayson."
"Yeah, that's-"
"You need to come back and be Robin again."
There was a moment of silence as Danny closed the door softly. Then, "Excuse me?" Dick's smile was strained and his eyes narrowed slightly.
"You need to come back and be Batman's Robin again. You don't have to don the suit, but he needs you." There was a hint of desperation in Tim's voice now. "He's been spiraling since Jason died, and he's starting to hit harder. Most of the guys he beats up end up in the emergency room! Some of them have even died from their injuries! Batman needs your help! He needs a Robin."
Dick was quiet for a moment. "No."
"What?"
"I won't- I can't go back to being Robin. I can't go back to being in that house."
"Why not?"
"I just can't. Now, I don't know how you found me or how you found out who I was, but you need to go back to Gotham, Tim."
"But-"
"Now, Tim. You're parent's are probably freaking out about where you are right now."
Tim didn't say anything for a long moment, he feet rooted in place. Just as Dick turned around to go to the fire escape, he spoke, "My parents don't care where I am." Louder, he said, "Bruce is going to start directly killing people if you don't go back there and help him."
"Why should I help him?" Dick demanded. "He didn't even tell me that my little brother had died! I didn't even get to go to his funeral! And then Bruce had the audacity to punch me in the face and blame me for not being there! I'm not going back to Gotham, I'm not putting on the Robin suit again, and I sure as hell am not going to help Batman. he made it clear that he works alone, so let him." With his peace said, Dick took his hoodie and sweatpants off, donned his domino and escrima sticks, and left through the window fifteen minutes early.
Neither Tim nor Danny said anything for a long few minutes, neither bothering to move. Too many thoughts in each of their heads with no way to properly form words.
Finally, after nearly seven minutes, Danny's voice broke through the air. "I'm sorry he yelled at you."
Tim, having forgotten Danny was there, jumped and turned to face him. "What?"
"He hasn't been the same since Jason died, not that I know what he was like before."
"What do you mean?"
Danny moved into the kitchen, pulling down two cups, filling them with water before offering one to Tim and leading him to sit down on the couch.
"I don't know a lot about the situation, I've only been here for three weeks now, but I know that Dick is still hurting. Nightmares, hallucinations, the works. He's been more violent recently, too, but obviously not as much as Batman has been."
"You, uh, you know?"
"Yeah. Kinda hard not to figure it out while living here, and you coming in today didn't help that." Tim blushed and sipped his water. "Though, like you, I showed up on Dick's doorstep already knowing he's Nightwing."
"Oh? And how well did that pan out for you?"
Danny shrugged. "I offered him help and refused to leave until he accepted it."
Tim laughed. "That's what I did to Bruce!"
They shared a smile. Danny lifted his cup as if to toast. "Here's to a couple of goblins with hero complexes." Tim lifted his cup to join Danny's toast and they both took a drink.
Giggling, the two finished their water in relative quiet, the air around them comfortable.
"Say," Tim asked, putting his cup down on the coffee table, "How old are you?"
"Fourteen. You?"
"Same."
"Cool."
"You're parents know where you are?"
"Nope. I would ask if yours do, but you already answered that."
"Yeah, they aren't really around much. I did tell Alfred I'd be gone, though, so he knows I'm not home."
"Yeah, but does he know you're here?"
"No."
"Hm." A beat. "Who's Alfred?"
Another laugh startled out of Tim. "Bruce's butler. Did Dick tell you nothing?"
Danny shrugged again. "I haven't pushed for answers about anything; I'm not a therapist. I'm just here because he's going to end up killing himself at the rate he's been working himself."
"So is Bruce," Tim admitted softly, "But he's going to end up taking Gotham down with him if no one stops him."
"So what are you going to do?"
He thought for a long minute, weighing options in his mind before saying, "I guess I'll have to be the help he needs me to be."
Danny tilted his head sideways like a dog. "What do you mean?"
Tim squared his shoulders, though he was still hesitant. "Batman needs a Robin, and if Dick isn't going to be that for him, then I guess I'll have to be."
Another beat. "But do you want to be a vigilante?"
"Does it matter if I want to be?" Tim asks, "If I don't then no one will." He took a deep, steadying breath. "Gotham is my home. I can't let Bruce destroy it in his grief."
"I understand." Danny nodded, "But what you want does matter. I know I can't stop you, so I'm not going to try, but I'm going to make you promise me something." He made sure to hold Tim's gaze. "You ask for help when you need it." He held out his hand and waited.
"What?"
"You're phone. Give it to me." Reluctantly, he did so. As soon as the flip phone was in his hand, Danny put his number in it before giving it back. 'You don't have to do this alone, okay, Tim? Promise that you'll call me when you need help, okay? Any time of day, I'll answer."
Tim stared at his now closed phone, the weight grounding him for a moment. "Are you going to be a vigilante to help Nightwing?"
"I already am."
"Huh?"
"It's why I'm here, It's why I know I can't stop you and why I'm making sure you know I'll be here to help you."
Nothing else was said between the boys. Nothing else needed to be said.
Part 7 Part 9
Tag List: @flame-343 @ghestie93 @anarinette @aglmry @peachtreewriter @evix-syne666 @loudlypanickinginvenezolano @lumosfeather18581 @blueliac @talia-scar123 @cyber-geist @violet-foxe @currentfandomkick @jaguarthecat @moonchild0924 @tonicmii @bushbees @idekwutoput @justalittleghostkid
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copperbadge · 2 years ago
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Hey Sam! Since it's currently AO3 donation time, I'm wondering what your thoughts are on it? I'm asking because you've written RPF and it's one of many "anti-AO3/anti-AO3 donations" people's favourite things to bring up when they're complaining about AO3 getting so many donations that it continuously obtains an excess of its donation goal whenever donation time rolls around? (Wow, how many times can I say "donation" in an ask?) Sorry if this question bothers you! I don't mean to offend or annoy.
Hey anon! Sorry it took a while to get to this, I don't even know if the drive is still going on, but the question came in while I was traveling and I didn't really have the time for stuff that wasn't travel-related. In any case, let's dig in! (I am not offended, no worries.)
So really there are two issues here and as much as some people who are critical of AO3 want to conflate them, they are different. While some criticism of AO3 may be valid, rhetoric against AO3 tends to misinterpret both in separate ways.
First there's the issue of what AO3 hosts -- RPF, yes, but more broadly, varied content that some people find distasteful or think should be illegal, which is a misunderstanding of the purpose of the archive and more broadly a dangerous attitude towards the concept of freedom of expression.
Second, there's the issue of AO3 generally outpacing its fundraising goals while not allowing monetization, which is a misunderstanding of the legal status of AO3 and to an extent a misunderstanding of philanthropy as a whole.
The longer I watch debates about content go on, the more I come to the conclusion that I was fortunate to have a teacher who really wanted to instill in us an understanding of free speech not as a policy but as an ongoing dialogue. It's not only that freedom of expression "protects you from the government, not the Justin" as the meme goes, but also that freedom of expression is not a static thing. It's an ongoing process of identifying what we find harmful in society and what we want to do about it.
Should the freedom to shout "Fire!" in a crowded theater be restricted? Should the freedom to yell slurs at drag performers? Should the freedom to teach prepubescent kids about gender, sexuality, and/or safe sex? Should the freedom to wear a leather puppy hood at Pride? Who gets to say, and why?
I was nine when my teacher did a unit on freedom of speech and the intersection of "harm prevention" and "censorship", which is (and should be) a discussion, not a set of ironclad rules. This ambiguity has thus been with me for over thirty years, and I'm comfortable with the ambiguity, with the process; I'm not sure a lot of people critical of AO3's content truly are. Perhaps some can't be, especially those affected by hate speech, but RPF is not hate speech. It's just fiction. Or is fiction "just fiction"? This is a question society as a whole is grappling with, although fandom seems to be a little out ahead of society in terms of how explicitly we discuss it.
The idea that prose can incite violence or cause harm is both valid to examine (witness the rise of fascism on the radio in the 20s, on Facebook and Twitter in the past ten years; they're very similar processes) and a very slippery slope. Because again: who decides what harm is, and what causes it, and what we do about it? Our values align us with certain beliefs, but those are only our values, not universal truths. So AO3 is part of the ongoing question of harm and benefit both to society and individuals.
AO3 itself, however, has a fairly defined policy that it is not meant to police content; it is an archive, not a bookstore or a school board. AO3 refines its TOS and policies as necessary, but the goal is always open access and as much freedom of expression as possible, and if that's uncomfortable for some people then that's a discussion we have to have; ignoring it won't make it go away. But it has to be a discussion, it can't be a unilateral change to the archive's TOS or a series of snaps and clapbacks, and I don't see a lot of people ready to move beyond flinging insults. Perhaps because they were taught a much more binary view of freedom of expression than I was.
So, self-evidently, I support AO3 and I don't have a problem with RPF. Whether other people do is something we're going to have to get to grips with, and that's likely to be a process that is still going on when most of us are dust. I'd rather have a century of ambiguity than a wrong answer tomorrow, anyway.
But whether AO3 hosts RPF is truly a separate issue from its donation drives, because it's a criticism some people level at the site which exists whether it's fundraising or not. So people can criticize AO3's open policy and they can give it as a reason not to support the site, but it's just one aspect of the archive and the fundraising as a whole should be examined separately.
I think AO3's fundraisers are deeply misunderstood (sometimes on purpose) because even people who are anticapitalist get a little crazy when money gets involved, and this is, to fandom, a lot of money -- a few hundred thousand, reliably, every fundraiser. To me, a fundraiser that pulls in three hundred grand is almost quaint; my current nonprofit pulls in better than ten million a year and my previous employer had an endowment of several billion dollars. At my old job I didn't even bother researching people who couldn't give us a hundred grand.
On the other hand, AO3 is an extreme and astounding outlier in the nonprofit world, because basically it's the only one of its kind to work the way it does. It is entirely volunteer-run on the operational side (ie: tag wranglers, coders, lawyers, etc) and has no fundraising staff (gift officers, researchers, outreach officers) as far as I'm aware. To pull in three hundred grand from individual one-time donations, without any paid staff and without even a volunteer fundraising officer? That's insane. That doesn't happen. Except at AO3.
What people misunderstand, however, is the basic status of a nonprofit, which is a legal status, not simply a social one. (I'm adding in some corrections here since it gets complicated and the terminology can be important!) The Organization for Transformative Works, the parent of AO3, is a nonprofit, which indicates how it was incorporated as an organization; additionally it is registered federally as tax-exempt, which carries certain perks, like not paying sales tax, and certain duties, like making their financials transparent to a certain extent. (Religious nonprofits are exempt from the transparency requirement.) If you're interested in more about nonprofits and tax-exempt status a reader dropped a great article here.
Nonprofits, unlike for-profit companies, cannot pay a share of their income to stakeholders. Nonprofits don't have financial stakeholders, only donors. They can have employees and pay them a salary -- that's me, for example -- but if a nonprofit pulls in $10M in donations, my salary is paid from that, I don't get a percentage and nobody else does either. That's what it means to be a nonprofit -- the money above operational costs goes back into the organization. The donations we (and AO3) receive must be plowed under and used for outreach, server maintenance, further fundraising, services expansion, et cetera. You can see this in the 990 forms on Guidestar or ProPublica, or in their more accessible breakdowns on Charity Navigator. Nonprofits that do not put the majority of their income towards service provision tend to get audited and lose their nonprofit status. So nobody's getting paid from all that money, and the overage that isn't spent goes into what is basically a savings account in the name of the nonprofit. (I'm vastly simplifying but that's the gist.) Using that money for personal purposes is illegal. It's called "private inurement" and there's a good article here about it. The money belongs to the OTW as a concept, not to anyone in or of the OTW.
So the biggest misunderstanding that I see in people who are mad at AO3 fundraisers is that "they" are getting all this money (who "they" are is never clearly stated but I'm pretty sure people think @astolat has a special wifi router that runs on burning hundred dollar bills) while "we" can't monetize our fanfic. But "they" get nothing -- nobody even earns a salary from AO3 -- and you can easily prove that by looking at the 990 forms they file with the government, which are required to be made public. You can see the most recently available 990, from 2020, here at Guidestar. Page seven will show you the "highest compensated" employees, all of whom are earning zero dollars or nonmonetary perks (that's the three columns on the right).
Either AO3 is entirely volunteer-run or someone's Doing A Real Fraud. The money the OTW spends is documented (that's page 10 and 11 primarily) and while they may pay for, say, the travel and lodging expenses of a lawyer going to DC to defend a freedom-of-expression case, they don't pay the lawyer for their time, or give them a cut of the income.
Despite what you've read, the reason "we" can't monetize our fanfics on AO3 has nothing to do with the site being the product of volunteer handiwork or AO3 having it in their terms of service or it being considered gauche by some to do so; it's because
IT'S ILLEGAL.
I cannot say this loudly enough: It is against the law for a nonprofit to be used by its staff, volunteers, or beneficiaries to earn direct profit from the services provided by the nonprofit.
You can be paid to work at one, but you cannot side-hustle by selling your handmade friendship bracelets for personal gain on the nonprofit's website. If the nonprofit knowingly allows monetization of its services, it can lose nonprofit status, be fined, be hit with back taxes, and a lot of other unpleasant bullshit can go down, including prosecution of those involved for fraud. If you put a ko-fi link on your fanfic, you are breaking the law, and if AO3 allows it, they are too.
Okay, that was a sidebar, but in some ways not, because it gets to the heart of the real complaints about AO3 fundraising, which is that people in fandom are sick or unhoused or in some form of need and other people in fandom are giving to AO3, a fan site that is financially stable, instead of giving to peoples' gofundmes or dropping money in their Ko-Fi or Paypal. And while it is a legitimate grievance that there are people who are in such desperate need while we live in an era of unprecedented abundance, that's not AO3's fault. AO3 doesn't solicit actively, there's no unasked-for mailings or calls from a gift officer. They just put a banner up on their website, and people give. (Again, this is incredibly outlier behavior in the nonprofit world, I'd do a case study on it but the conclusion would just be "shit's real, yo.") You might as well be mad that people give to their local food bank instead of someone's ko-fi.
You cannot lay at AO3's feet the fact that people want to give to AO3 instead of to your fundraiser. That's a choice individuals have made, and while you can engage with them in terms of why they made the philanthropic choices they did, to blame an organization they supported rather than the person who made the choice to give is not only incorrect but futile, and unlikely to win anyone over to supporting you. We know from research that guilt is not a tremendous motivator of philanthropy.
It is also not necessarily a binary choice; just because AO3 gets a hundred grand in $5 donations doesn't mean most of the people giving don't also give $5 elsewhere. I support the OTW on occasion, and I also fundraise for UNICEF and the Chicago Parks Foundation and BAGLY and others, in addition to giving monthly to several nonprofits that I have longterm relationships with -- my alma mater, the animal rescue where I got the Cryptids, my shul. And I give, occasionally and anonymously, to fundraisers that pass through Radio Free Monday, which are mainly individuals in need, because I was once in need and now I pay it forward. These are the choices I have made. Nobody twisted my arm. I respond poorly to someone making the attempt to do so by attacking places I've given.
I think the upshot is, after all of this that I've written, that we cannot begin to come to grips with questions of institutional inequality in philanthropy, or freedom of expression and censorship, until people actually understand what's going on, and too few do. So all I can do is try and explain, and hopefully create a forum for people to learn and grow when it comes to charitable giving.
Archive Of Our Own and the Organization for Transformative Works are products of our community and as that community changes, we will necessarily continue to re-evaluate what aspects of it mean and how AO3/OTW express the community sentiment. I hope that the ongoing discussion of support for AO3 also leads to people learning more about their philanthropic options. But criticizing AO3 for fundraising by attacking it for fulfilling one of its stated purposes is silly, and attempting to guilt people into giving in the ways one thinks they should give rather than how they do give is just going to make one extremely unlikable.
As members of this community, we have to be a part of the push and pull, but it's difficult to do that competently in ignorance. So, I do my best to be knowledgeable and to educate my readers, and I hope others will do the same.
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astonmartinii · 1 year ago
Note
Hey, I love your work. Could you please do a social Media au with Lewis Hamilton x senna! reader who is the secret daughter of Ayrton Senna and Mick's godmother and Mick introduces them? Don't feel pressured and thank you in advance.
<3
top secret | lewis hamilton social media au
pairing: senna!reader x lewis hamilton
turns out mick is the grid's biggest matchmaker
mickschumacher
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liked by yourusername, lewishamilton and 404,331 others
mickschumacher: summer dinners (not cooked by me)
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username so is this a soft launch or ???
georgerussell63 it's a good thing you weren't cooking i've seen your skills in hospitality
mickschumacher don't worry she'd never let me blow the house up
username no tag, no name WHY ARE WE SO SECRETIVE MICK?
lewishamilton where was my invite then ?
mickschumacher you already steal her all the time let me have my moment
username WAIT THIS MAKES IT SO MUCH MORE CONFUSING
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f1wagsupdates
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liked by 1,045 others
f1wagsupdates: the mystery blonde is back again, this time spotted going into the mercedes hospitality. not much is known about her as she wasn't spotted for the rest of the weekend - so is she with mick or lewis or just friends with both of them?
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username so like she didn't actually stay for the race ??? i'm smelling a gold digger
username like how do we not know who she is it's practically impossible to be anonymous these days
username who can just waltz into merc hospitality like she has to be with someone, right?
username y'all can continue yelling in these comments but like she's serving in all of these like i need her wardrobe
username i mean as much as i would hate to see slag!lewis go ... i think it is time
lewishamilton added to their story
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[caption: the view is something else]
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yourusername
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liked by lewishamilton, mickschumacher and 779,445 others
yourusername: i'm hearing shouts of gold digger, my daddy ran your sport ;)
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username SENNA HAD A KID ???
username y'all been calling senna's daughter a gold digger that's rough
username so wait how did we never know she existed ?
mickschumacher finally it's out i couldn't deal with people thinking i was dating my godmother
ginaschumacher we may have a ranch but we're not from alabama
yourusername citizens of alabama out here catching strays
lewishamilton lovely lady
yourusername knew there was a reason you were made an honorary brazilian citizen
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lewishamilton
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liked by mickschumacher, georgerussell63 and 1,223,761 others
tagged: yourusername
lewishamilton: and suddenly everything made sense when i met you
view all comments
username my guy said i'm gonna break senna's records and then bag his daughter and i respect it
yourusername you made me realise the meaning of forever
lewishamilton biggest honour of my life
username okay this is so fucking cute im gonna need someone to confess their love to me asap
georgerussell63 congrats you two 🥂
mercedesamgf1 category is SLAY
username i'm being SO CHILL ABOUT THIS
f1 no biggie just two of the greatest families in f1 coming together
yourusername
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liked by f1, lewishamilton and 1,304,667 others
yourusername: happy father's day pops !! i miss you so much everyday but i know you're super proud of me no matter what. see you soon xx
comments have been restricted on this post
lewishamilton
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liked by yourusername, mickschumacher and 2,130,653 others
lewishamilton: happy father's day to my wonderful dad and the one who i never met but am thankful for everyday. my dad has been nothing but supportive of me my whole life and i am forever grateful to him. ayrton, though we never met i feel you everyday and i promise i will be the best husband possible for your angel of daughter
view all comments
username this is all very touching but HUSBAND
yourusername thank you so much lew, i love you so much and i know he does too (also i love your dad too)
lewishamilton can't get rid of us now
username this is honestly like a fairytale
username the fact she said in an interview that she never wanted to watch or go to another race because of what the sport took from her, but now regularly goes to support lewis 😭
mickschumacher hey don't forget about her favourite god son
username OMG THIS MAKES LEWIS MICK'S GODFATHER WTF
mickschumacher
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liked by mercedesamgf1, charles_leclerc and 880,276 others
tagged: yourusername, lewishamilton
mickschumacher: adding professional matchmaker to my resume
view all comments
username so like the first born is named after him ?
mickschumacher deal
yourusername mick ???
username this is a trio i never thought i'd see coming schumachers, hamiltons and a senna in one family
yourusername all jokes aside i love you mick thank you for wingmanning me
lewishamilton thank you for finally giving me her number after asking about a billion times
note: i hope this is what you were thinking - i had so much fun writing this !! xx
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flamingpudding · 1 year ago
Text
Ghost Twins: Lost in Gotham
A/N: I finally got my copy of AGIT and it sparked this prompt idea, I might continue on...
"Of all the times why were we thrown into a different dimension…"
"I am not happy about this either, twerp."
Danny gave his body double a scorching glare. Dan only shrugged as he leaned back into the park bench, hiding a chuckle. Even if the situation was dire, it was kind of funny too. Good things had changed so much since he got a human body. Danny had become more of a brother to him than his nemesis or time original, especially since Danny had gotten the crown and was trying to smooth things over for ghosts and humans. Plus he finally understood why Jazz like to tease them so much as her younger siblings. He got to tease his time original / cousin / 'younger' brother now too, well he did see himself as the older one when they could technically pass as twins.
"We are stuck looking like this! Our powers don't work and I can't open a portal, Dan!"
"And what do you want me to do about it? Clockwork is not responding to either of us."
Dan studied Danny who was still pacing in knee-high snow, then looked down at his hand which was smaller than he remembered. He tried reaching out to his ghost powers but nothing responded. From the corner of his eyes, he noticed Danny stopping his pacing and looking back at Dan, his voice soft from resignation.
"What is the last thing you remember?"
"It's... nothing." I don't remember what I did last. Why do you ask?"
"It's the same for me. We are stranded for some unknown reason in an entirely different Dimension in six-year-old bodies, with no clue or solution to get home and our ghost powers being all wonky as shit! And clockwork won't react to us yelling his name into the snowstorm we are currently in! At least we are cold-resistant!"
Danny resumed pacing in the snow, kicking random little snow hills he was making with his pacing as he ranted. Dan was watching him from the park bench with a scowl of his own. Both had found themself waking up to each other in a pile of snow in a park that was located in a city they had no idea about, the only thing they had was a green sticky note with the words 'Code Bat: Different Dimension'.
That led to Danny yelling for clockwork into the starting snowstorm. They knew their powers weren't completely gone. Wherever they were they were in a place with a lot of ambient ectoplasm.
"We should look for a way out of the snow twerp. Even with cold resistance, we should stay out here." Dan huffed as he tried to make out the buildings around them outside of the park, Danny instantly stopped pacing tilting his head.
"Where should-"
Both boys yelled in absolute horror as they suddenly got picked up and were carried like a sack of potatoes under the arms of strange guys. Instincts kicked in and the two instantly fought back but the guys carrying them didn't appear to be bothered.
The wind whisked past their ears making hearing anything difficult until they finally got put down next to each other. Instantly Dan took half a step before Danny, glaring at the ones that abducted them from a park. "Who the fuck are you, guys?!"
"Language kid. And I should be asking what the fuck you little kids were doing out in the middle of the worst Snowstorm Gotham had in a long time?" The guy in a red helmet said towering over them with crossed arms. "I know you street rats are smarter than staying out in the open like this. Don't you kids have a shelter?"
Street Rats? Okay, so what if their clothes looked a little ratty? Hold a second. Danny and Dan looked at each other briefly as if for the first time noticing how worn the clothes they had looked compared to what they were used to wearing. Great so not only were they in twin six-year-old bodies but also wearing such worn-out clothes that people saw them as street rats.
"None of your fucking business." Dan retorted, the fun of the situation now gone and anger and frustration settling in as he glared at their abductors. Danny on the other hand tilted his head miming the confused child as he stared up at them.
"We got lost."
"You got lost?" The other guy in blue with a mask asked them unbelieving and Danny only nodded.
"Yup, we got lost."
Dan watched how the two adults playing dress up exchanged glances. He peaked back at Danny and then back at them. Before making a probably short-sighted decision.
"Fuck this!" He said out loud and grabbed his twin's hand. Once more he reached for his ghost core and powers, internally yelling at it to get a response. And it worked, sort of.
He felt intangibility wash over them so he attempted to escape by phasing him and Danny through the ground only… to get halfway stuck as the old on his ghostly powers got lost. Dan's eye twitched as he realized he was stuck in the ground up to his tights.
"Dan what the fuck?!" Danny who was now stuck knee-deep into the floor yelled.
"I was at least attempting to escape!"
"We are stuck now! This is even worse! You could have just let me talk our way out of this!"
"Oh hell no. I remember the others saying often enough that you should not do the talking!"
"Phasing us through the floor is not better at all! Our powers are wonky or did you forget that?!"
While the twin boy's where fighting Nightwing and Red Hood exchanged worried glances.
"Hood…"
"Yea… Probably Meta Twins on the run."
"I will contact the others."
2K notes · View notes
love-belle · 1 year ago
Text
you can hear it in the silence !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which he knows how lucky he is.
or
for when you know your stars were on your side when you met them. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
social media au // charles leclerc x fem!reader
warnings - language
author's note - so sorry for not posting yesterday, i was catching up on my hw so !!! anyways, i will try to clear out my inbox by sunday, i have like 10 more requests which i still have to post. you can send me more but please be patient because first i would be clearing out the initial ones!! i love you, thank you so much for reading. hope you like it!!
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by lewishamilton, carmenmmundt, charles_leclerc and 3,427,926 others
yourusername 🤍
19,628 comments
username MOTHER
username SHE SERVES EVERY SINGLE TIME
username the reason im bi
username OH MY GOD IM MALFUNCTIONING WHATCTHE FUCJ
lewishamilton roscoe misses you ‼️
-> yourusername can't wait to see u all next week 🫶🏼
username women.
username SHE'S SO GIRLFRIEND OH MY GOD
*liked by charles_leclerc*
selenagomez in love
*liked by yourusername*
dualipa the prettiest ever 💞
-> yourusername i love you 💕
username can charles fight?
username im ready to throw hands with charles for HER
charles_leclerc wow im
charles_leclerc hahahahaha are u single ?
charles_leclerc just one chance pls
-> username someone take away this man's phone
charles_leclerc literally on my knees
-> landonorris DUDE
-> yourusername CHARLES OH MY GOD
-> charles_leclerc 🤷
charles_leclerc i love you 💌
-> yourusername i love you more 💗
username sigh can't believe my wife got wifed up by a guy that drives a red car in circles
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, georgerussell63 and 799,315 others
charles_leclerc she is the best thing that has ever been mine
tagged yourusername
6,628 comments
username SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
username GOODNIGHT.
username NOT HIM QUOTING TAYLOR SWIFT OMG
landonorris please refrain from being in love in front of us singles ❤️
-> charles_leclerc no ❤️
-> username lando spoke for the people and i appreciate that
username god i see what u have done for the others
username microwaving a spoon rn enough is ENOUGH.
danielricciardo disgusting ❤️
-> charles_leclerc stfu ❤️
username i too deserve someone who will post me to taylor swift lyrics :///
yourusername thanking my constellations everyday, i love you ❤️
-> charles_leclerc i love you so much ❤️
username still in disbelief that this mf bagged THE y/n y/l/n like.
username y/n it's ok u can come home now the kids and the cats miss u
username god me when.
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, carmenmmundt and 3,562,728 others
yourusername you can hear it in the silence
tagged charles_leclerc
18,927 comments
username SHUT UP THEY'RE SO
username oh my god
niallhoran the best people i know 🤍
-> yourusername we love you niall 🤍
username i love them sm omg
username they're so ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️
username i want this kinda love rn
carmenmmundt lots of love 💗
*liked by yourusername*
username PARENTS
username alr y'all. having a toaster bath rn.
maxverstappen1 photo credit ?
-> yourusername photo creds to this dude who cursed us for 20mins when we forgot him at the restaurant
-> maxverstappen1 IT WAS SCARY OKAY????
username screaming crying throwing up sliding down the wall bashing my head ripping my hair yelling kicking
-> yourusername u good hun?
-> username ahahahahahahha!!n3++₹(@)#+₹+udusjskjddjkad..zzuzjsjxjj,idejskkakajsjdjsj goodhey.
taylorswift 🤍
*liked by yourusername*
username they're so "you are in love by taylor swift" coded likee
-> username no bc that's literally THEIR song
charles_leclerc i am in love
-> yourusername i am in love with u
charles_leclerc ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
-> yourusername ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
username the way charles always blushing and giggling when he's with y/n like bro's down BAD
-> username if y/n was my gf i would be too
-> username real like who can blame him
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by yourusername, lilymhe, yourbestfriend and 814,527 others
charles_leclerc my forever ❤️
tagged yourusername
7,628 comments
username "my forever" CAN U HEAR ME CRYING
username no bc the bar is literally so fucking high
username my future partners can blame them for my high expectations.
danielricciardo we know mate, u send is a 15min voice message
-> charles_leclerc and i'm about to do it again
-> danielricciardo NO
username he's so in love like it makes me cry up
username no one loves y/n y/n more than charles leclerc
pierregasly a thank you would be nice after i chased you both down the street to click these
-> charles_leclerc we didn't ask you to, you literally ran after us yelling
-> pierregasly no one's asking for details. no one.
username their relationship is a want like.
username im so normal abt them hahahahaha!!! sO nOmaL hahahahahah!!!
username i guess he's good enough for my wife
lewishamilton 🤍
*liked by charles_leclerc*
username imagine getting to call y/n y/l/n your forever like
-> username u wish it was u huh?
-> username yes i do.
yourusername forever sounds so good with you ❤️
-> charles_leclerc i love you ❤️
username my last straw 🧃
2K notes · View notes
inklessletter · 1 year ago
Text
Since I can't draw tonight, here's a steddie prompt for you:
Steve runs away from home once he becomes eighteen because his home environment is absolutely toxic. It's all yelling, and spitting insults, and constantly hearing that he is such a disappointment, so he decides to hit the road and go some city away from everyone he knows and just start over. His trauma response to loud, aggressive spaces leads him to accept a job managing a school library.
And he finds out it is his dream job.
He sees all these teens studying, sharing glances, romances beginning, stress increasing as midterms come closer, annoyed faces, giggling girls gossiping, kids vandalizing his tables... And he feels an observant. A watcher.
And he imagines. He imagines their lives, the tall jock with the widest smile going soft for the sarcastic redhead. The quiet thing blossoming between tose two boys who give longing glances when the other is not looking. The oddest friendship between the meanest eleven year old he's ever met and the most cynical kid to ever set foot in that school. He sees and he imagines, but he's silent.
Because silence is a precious shield that protects his imagination. Silence will never hurt him.
His first real friendship begins in silence. This girl, Robin, passes him a note with a poor drawing of him falling asleep on his desk. It made him laugh. She laughed too. That was enough.
They play this game together in which they both exchanged the craziest theories they could think of about other people's lives.
That one is a Russian spy.
That one runs a secret lab.
That one has mind powers (okay, that was maybe too crazy).
That one is an former cop.
"That one is a rockstar," Robin said pointing an absurdly good looking guy that was checking out a couple of books.
"He does looks like one, though..."
Robin was going to reply when she noticed Steve's rosy cheeks. She just smiled. She noticed the guy looking briefly at them, and then he grinned.
"Metal is more my scene, but close enough," he said.
Shit.
The guy approached them and Robin, the traitor, bolted away. The guy, all dimples and soft hair lent Steve two books and his library card (Munson, Eddie), that he registered and gave back to him.
Steve tried hard not to be an awkward mess, he barely managed to.
"I do actually play in a band, uh, on Tuesdays," Eddie said. Steve looked at him with a twist in his stomach. "And today is Tuesday. So if you want to come, I would gladly buy you a drink."
Steve felt a lump in his throat, and looked down.
"Uh, I—I don't—"
"Oh, sorry, I just—"
"I don't do well with loud noises," Steve said quickly. "I'm sorry."
Eddie nodded.
"Good luck tonight," Steve said, not wanting to leave the conversation in a rejection. He pointed the book. "This one is really good."
"Have you read The Lord of the Rings?"
"Yeah," Steve smiled. "I've got time and silence here."
Eddie looked at him with something hidden in his pupils meant to be discovered by Steve.
Eddie left the library.
There were a few days and a lot of conversations with Robin about that Eddie guy. Steve let himself imagine again, about him. About Eddie. He fantasized a lot, ignoring deliberately the sting in his guts knowing that he blew up his chance.
Two weeks passed and Eddie was there to return the books again, with a small guitar case hanging in his back, and Steve tried his best not to look like a kicked puppy.
"I can do soft noises," Eddie said, out of the blue. It earned him a look from both Robin and Steve. "When do you, uh, have a break?"
"Right now," Robin chimed in, quickly. "He's having a break right now."
A few minutes later they were in the rooftop. They found a comfortable spot with the best views and Eddie took out an old and battered ukulele. Then he looked at Steve.
"I am not a silent person. I exist in noise, and busy environments, and awful high pitched laughs," he said with a smile. "I can't change that, but I can change the noise."
Eddie caressed the tiny guitar strings, and the sound sent goosebumps through all Steve's skin.
"I can change the noise for you," Eddie said, low and soft, and he started playing a song. "If you let me."
His first real love began with music.
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