#needed to yell about it I guess
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Me: has my sixth sudden crying spell of the week
Also me: "yeah but I'm probably not ACTUALLY depressed"
#gonna be honest boys. I have been feeling like dogshit#started with me having a good ol' existential spiral at 4 am a week ago and now I don't even know what's bothering me#and then there's all of the bad stuff going on making me anxious for myself and everybody on top of everything#all the abhorrent transphobia has been making me feel worried for the future#(as if the passing of time doesn't already horribly scare me but I digress)#idk man. I already feel like I'm unequipped for the future because I've realized I never thought I'd still be alive right now#majority of my childhood was filled with adults preaching at me to think about where I'd be going in the afterlife so I did just that#that plus they were the type to believe that the rapture is soon cause “the signs are all coming true”#so I always thought that either that would happen or I'd die before now#well. I'm still here and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.#and I'm lonely. really fucking lonely and I'm going mad cause of it#never had actual friends besides the kids I was with at my old private school. now they're all raging conservatives who mock minorities#I was able to get away but moving on isn't as easy as I hoped#it'd be so much easier to betray all my beliefs and act ignorant again so I can have my friends back#but of course I can't do that. I can't throw out who I am and all of the wonderful people I know who would be “sinful” in their eyes#idk man. I think I've finally reached the breakdown I've been feeling coming for the past two years#fuck. sorry for this trauma dump of a post. I've just felt numb for months and now everything's catching up to me#needed to yell about it I guess#vent#phoenix prattles
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
you are luo binghe you are ten years old your mother is sickly and getting worse every day but you’ll make it better. you are luo binghe you are walking towards your future with a stale bun you fought the dogs for and your mother’s memory held tight in your fist, enclosed in the fake jade of your pendant. you are luo binghe and you are digging a hole, digging like a beast digging its way out of its own grave, digging until there’s only darkness around you like a hungry maw deciding whether it’s worth it to bite down, digging until you can’t breathe with the scent of overturned soil and dying grass and when you come to you have barely dug a cun into the ground and your name has already been called. you are luo binghe you look up at the immortal master that has chosen you and you are so anxious to be standing before him but you’ve sworn to yourself that you are brave and strong and becoming a good man who would have never treated you the way the world treated your little family. you are luo binghe and you serve your shizun tea, and he asks about your mother, and you say she was the kindest in the world to you, and your voice is strong and you’ve matured, you won’t cry anymore, and he looks at you, and he looks at you, and he looks at you, all the while scraping the leaves of his tea and you’re not sure why you’re holding your breath but this feels like a momentuous experience, a graze of the universe against your dirt-stained hands. you are luo binghe and shizun smiles, and there’s no explanation for the feeling of ease that overtakes you but you don’t need an explanation, because shizun pats your head and welcomes you to your new home, and introduces you to your new sect siblings all the while never taking his eyes off of you and you’re going to make your mother proud.
you are luo binghe and you wake up in your palace and you are scraped raw by a memory that never belonged to you. you get up, shake it off, and begin your day
#svsss#luo binghe#to be more specific#this is about#original outline luo binghe#as is everything i do think say and love#bingge could work i guess. but no#bing-xiong#lbx#my beloved my son my twin the man we never got to meet#anyone wanna yell with me about him. im yelling in my soul#i need partners in this i cannot hold this on my own this never binghe is HAUNTING me#.txt
193 notes
·
View notes
Note
We ARE going to bring up Captain Amelia. You have good taste! GOOD TASTE I SAY! *aka I just rewatched Treasure Planet and got hit with, "Oh yeahhhhh... that explains a lot!"*
honestly, the Meg/Jasmine/Amelia trifecta tells you 90% about me as a person. (the rest is covered by Sailor Jupiter and Sailor Uranus and, uhhh, I'll stop baring my soul to the world now)
and speaking of Amelia, this is tangential, but like -- there's one Twst comic I have been kicking at for a while where I needed an RSA sports/flight teacher and, uh, well
someday I will wrangle this stupid comic into coherency and she'll get to make an appearance (in the background of a single panel, half-obscured by a tall hat) (but I will know she's there and that's the important thing)
#art#twisted wonderland#twst oc#my plan worked i've tricked you all into looking at my anime catgirl oc#she exists to yell at some rsa boys so she doesn't really have like. a character or story or anything. sorry!#(her name is alexandria north and that is what she considers a sporty outfit. that's as far as i got)#this is the one that is mainly about silver and neige having a mutual bluebird friend and i am having terrible trouble making it not suck#which given some of the stuff i post should tell you something about how it's going so far#(it's just kind of an incoherent mess of ideas at this point. nothing specific just ~the creative process~)#maybe the rest of episode 7 will give my brain the kickstart it needs. depends on how that goes i guess#god. the next episode 7 bit drops in (probably) just a few days.#I'M NOT READY#i have simultaneously never been ready and always been ready#i exist in a perpetual state of impatience
980 notes
·
View notes
Text
Like they just did that and moved on
#i know they werent the point of the story/other things were going on (al) BUT OMFG#like WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE JUST WENT AND DID THAT?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY MEANT EVERYTHING TO HIM???#“oh. ive had enough. yeah. thats all i really need. they gave me everything i could want. hehe. thank you. and goodbye. my friends”#ASDFGHJKL?!?!?!?!??!?!#sorry i cant be coherent about this please understand what im trying to say#“i want the world” “no you want friends” “shit ur right. guess ill die” “okay cool ill yell ur name and then never be sad about it”#do not misunderstand me i absolutely love them i adore them but like do you see what im trying to say#also in the sub (the one i watched at least. idk if they differ between platforms) he says#“enough... yeah. thats enough. i dont need anything more. see you later. my soul... friends”#OUGH#FUCK#thank goodness for fanfiction yknow. i need them in grief and pain but also i need him to live yknow#fmab spoilers#fmab#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood#greed the avaricious#greedling#ling yao#edward elric#im so not okay about them istg#moss' madness
54 notes
·
View notes
Text
FOREWARNING FOR GROSS-OUT SKIN CLOSEUP SHIT DON'T YELL AT ME FOR SHOWING YOU has anyone else gotten this really weird phenomenon on youtube. I swear every algorithm on every website is actively and purposely worse now. Where you'll be scrolling through vids after searching for something (I was looking at crochet stuff) and SANDWICHED IN THE MIDDLE OF ACTUAL SEARCH RESULTS... YOU KNOW. LIKE THINGS RELEVANT TO THE KEYWORDS I TYPED
are a couple of completely out of left field SHOCK VALUE VIDS. like to intentionally be alarming. drama vids and things you're enticed to click on bc they're upsetting, and deep deep closeups on zits. what the fuck is going on. Sandwiched between videos about GRANNY SQUARES. crack? is it crack we're smoking????
#are you telling me I can search for crochet patterns and be fed videos of pimple popping and news about anorexic influencers?#THESE ARE NOT ADS!!!! they're just IN THERE. I have ublock I've got all that stuff. these are just completely irrelevant videos#in the search results after I typed like. granny square patterns. or something really basic like that#NASTY shit#and I know it's not the algorithm clocking me bc I can tell when they do that. but I hate hate hate pimple popping videos#so that's not gonna be it.#when mr. algorithm gets me I can smell it. because guess what. nail polish. it's always nail polish.#and I don't watch upsetting shit abt the starvation girl or anything either. and I don't follow drama clickbait channels#WHAT IS THIS. WHERE AM I.#why did they make me look at this!!!!#sergle.txt#you're not allowed to yell at me btw I gave you a warning. which was more than I got. we're in this together now.#i'm not sure what to tag this as bc if i tag it as body horror then ppl will bark at me bc zits are natural. is it natural to get#a camera this close to big irritated holes and boils on your face. lesions. cysts. is that natural. are we friends#do i need to be close enough to smell you. put my eyes directly into the holes in your face
169 notes
·
View notes
Text
so I was digging through the Vast Legally Grey Junkyards of the Internet in search of better quality footage from AoU for my edits, specifically the scene with the CA FASCIST grafitti in Sokovia—which I unfortunately didn't find, but what I DID find was a bunch of deleted/expanded scenes that I didn't know/didn't care enough to pay attention to before. Which is fine. Most of it is techno babble and rushed plot setup. However. This stupid-ass ten second clip makes me literally insane. It makes me. Want to kill and maim and chew on the bars of my enclosure. And not in the sense that the contents make me oh-so-emotional, but because the potential of them could. Because what do you mean.
What do you mean those four and a half lines were cut for pacing/time when it's a ten second difference and the rest of the scene is in the film anyway. What do you mean you cut it because it didn't fit the narrative. It's literally couched in two minutes of plot it could've been so easy to slip it in there. A passing reference that would add at least a smidgen of depth to both the (already fucking incomprehensible) plot + politics of the antagonists, and to one of the main fucking characters. Like you were SO close what do you mean you cut every feeble attempt that was made to scratch the surface of Steve's character outside the whole nightmare scene we're supposed to feel so bad about what do you MEAN.
The fact that this minimal exchange—paired with that graffiti scene where Steve is confronted with the actual legacy of Captain America and what he's come to mean to people around the world and then quite physically discards the identity + him still circling back to the mantle at the end of the film anyway because he doesn't know how to do or be anything else, feels like he's too changed for this idea of a normal life that stems from before the war and the ice and doesn't know how to live without carrying that, without being useful in this one specific way—has more meat on its bones in the whole lead up to Civil War and ultimately Endgame than half of this movie's sledgehammer-over-the-head lines about home and family with Barton's kids laughing in the background or whatever like some fucked up C list hallmark movie is downright infuriating to me because like. You clearly thought about it. It passed through your head. You wrote some version of it into the scene. You shot it and edited it and watched it a few times and then you went "nah off it goes to the cutting room floor, we have enough of that. Add those seven and a half seconds to the 20-minute long, entirely CGI Hulk sequence, that we need more of. Surely that will fix the pacing issue".
Side note: this is me not even getting into the fact that, at this point in the franchise, this would have been one of the few lines we'd get of Maria actually saying something or interacting with anyone in a way that is even marginally removed (which this barely is) from simply delivering plot information. This is the only time we kinda get her view on something or even an inkling that she used to be a goddamn intelligence agent. And how that history informs her view of the situation and how it could possibly clash with Steve's own. And that woman is in every fucking movie. (Not to mention the fact that the two of them were just in a movie together, for Christ's sake, and going through something together you could pretty fairly characterize as traumatic and bond-inspiring to boot—and in AoU we can barely tell they even know each other. I mean the bar is so low and they still managed to limbo right under it.)
#listen I know there's a thousand and one technical reasons why it might've been cut but honestly truly frankly I don't give them the benefi#of the doubt that that was the case.#why am I yelling about this again? YOUR GUESS IS AS GOOD AS MINE#just never fails to surprise me all over again how little effort was actually put into Steve's character development in some of these#that is ultimately supposed to be the meat behind all of those “now you should feel for this character look ain't he sad!" scenes#but seeing as how we get nothing the rest of the time those just do not fucking land. and it extends all the way to his fumbed ass ending#obv it's not just steve it's 90% of their characters but I can only yell about so much at a time#and I really don't wanna go off on a full anti MCU rant like who's got the time or energy and also what is the point lol who cares#anyway this is entirely incoherent and I'm not saying anything new but I just needed to say fuck OFF joss whedon jesus christ#this movie could've been decent it was literally the best positioned in the series to be decent. and yet#delete later#max.txt#age of ultron#steve rogers
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm getting ratio'd by my family for my opinions, so let's see what Tumblr thinks about this:
He has to do it from standing, flat-footed. He cannot do it off of a high object or from standing in mid-air or into a Valley of Screams. He has to stick the landing. He is not allowed time to train or otherwise prepare. He's standing in the dojo and someone comes in and yells "DO A BACKFLIP!!": can he? Assume he is on-board with doing the backflip, i.e., don't pick 'no' on the assumption that he would refuse to do it.
#byakuya kuchiki#it's possible he's done a backflip in canon/the anime. i don't care#you can send me evidence but i will ignore it#this poll is about THE VIBE#there's also an episode where he's running thru the dangai with hitsugaya and i still refuse to believe he can run#if my man needs to go fast he will flash-step like a civilized person#i guess i've given away my position on this one but i don't care because i know i am correct#fortunately my daughter and i were in agreement on basically everyone else#including the fact that renji and iba can both do a backflip because they spent a lot of time practicing#so that if one of their subordinates ever yelled 'DO A BACKFLIP' they would Be Ready#i wish you could pick 3 days for polls. 1 day is too short but 7 is too long. oh well.
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
Day 4 - Real-life Captain America
#chreonweek2k23#chreon#my fanart#leon kennedy#chris redfield#day 4 - real life captain america#how DARE you come for me where i live like this#honestly would have done a more serious take but i didn’t have the time#they’re going to a costume party#and leon is being super low effort#and chris has chosen that time honored classic costume: slutty captain america#i literally did this exact comic but it’s actually just steve and tony#and i only feel slightly bad about that#anyway i guess everyone be glad you are spared my 10k meta essay about chris being a lot like steve rogers#chris has big steve rogers energy#right down to the part where he thinks he can stop someone from being drunk and sad if he yells loudly enough#you don’t have time to be sad the world needs to be saved#get back on the horse champ#ok i’m done for now
165 notes
·
View notes
Text
genuinely why is there so much misinformation about the guardians of childhood book series?
#Lemme be a toxic fan for a moment bc im so tired and stressed and i need to yell my silly fandom frustrations out to the void#The people saying Jack is fourteen in them. No.#He can manipulate his age from 11 to 18 and is dating a 25 yr old#people still insist that the books are connected to the movie despite there being no possibility for that since 2018#And like they totally guess what happens in the books#I saw someone try to say that dreamworks were being 'weird' and aged Jack up to ship him with tooth but in the books he was a child#three things: He's not fourteen (see above for age. He's essentially an adult and is treated as such) and is dating an adult#And he didn't make an official appearance in the books until 2018. Six years AFTER the movies release#and thirdly dreamworks aged him DOWN????#Joyce's og idea was an adult with a wife + kids ???#Like what are you talking about#never mind the people insisting that JACK IS 12???? NO??? Where did you get ur information bc wtf???#the movie started production (in 2008) before any of the books even existed (first book was published in 2011)#We have no idea how much of the books they had! The most they had were Joyce's ideas that were subject to change (and boy did they change)#the walking eggs in the movie didn't come from the book (even tho they're in there) they came from Joyce's doodling on notes!#The third book published alongside the movie tie-in books and then days later the finished film premiered at the Mill Valley Film Festival#by the time the second book rolled around (2012) the movie was probably finished and was just getting distributed by paramount and#was possibly even finished in 2011! Four years of production of the movie and then the first book got released#I cannot express enough how much the books are not the source material for the movie. If anything is it's the 2005 short film Joyce made#God it's so infuriating to see people discussing the books like they're the Bible without having read it. I get so irrationally upset#And why are we talking about the books like they have any relevance to the movie after 2018? that book completely severed all ties#Like I get it if people want to connect them but you'd have to ignore the entire last book to do that (which yeah most do)#but there's so many assumptions about the books and it makes it clear who got their into from fan rumors and who actually read them#if you are basing ur understanding of a book you've never read based on fanfic maybe you just shouldn’t say anything about the book#rotg#rise of the guardians#guardians of childhood#goc
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
captain tadashi yamaguchi is always on my mind. he was only allowed to exist for 3 seconds because furudate knew he was too powerful. captain yamaguchi could shoot lasers out of his eyes and level cities in a matter of seconds. he will also be smiling the whole time with the biggest, brightest eyes. he has the confidence of a demigod. he is breathtakingly gorgeous. he is the most horrifying person you will ever meet.
#thinking about the first time yamaguchi scolded the first years.#2 of them quit the next day. they weren't even the ones being yelled at they were just scared#i also have a scene in my head where yamaguchi and kageyama congregate and go over the application sheets together#+ captain and vice bonding i guess#and the first few applications yamaguchi's like “oh yeah these guys were pretty good. they just need some more teamwork” yadda yadda#and then one particular application comes through and yamaguchi lets out the heaviest sigh#and kageyama's like “what's wrong?” and yamaguchi's like “can i be honest with you?” and kags is like “ofc”#so yamaguchi says “he's a great player. but oh my fucking god he is such a bitch”#kageyama's eyes get soooo wide then because he's pretty sure it's the first time he's ever heard yamaguchi swear#(and maybe his cheeks get a little red too because it was kindaaaaaa)#(yes this scene is about yamakage and yamakage only they are so important to me)#anyways Captain yamaguchi tadashi my heart is yours🫶
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
some people will be all about mental health awareness and leftist ideals of at least tolerating the mentally ill who show ''ugly'' symptoms until it's someone they know and ''care'' about having a bad day and acting like it in a way they don't find appealing
#[temporary text post tag]#vagueing about irls#everybodys your friend until one time youre too tired to act right after getting yelled at first thing in the morning#worst thing is i trusted her enough to tell her shit none of my other friends know about#liek i genuinely believed we were friends and i wasnt just an accessory so she wouldnt feel lonely and could vent to someone about whatever#now im really wondering if all the shit she told me about other people was real or if she just ditched them as well after they-#- acted emotionally in a way she didnt like#like im sorry people have bad days and sometimes act in none cutesy ways#at this point idk if the few times i did tell her im feelin like shit she took it seriously or just thought i was joking#im kinda assuming the second one#like she did feel and act fairly progressive - she'd often talk about acceptance and understanding#i don't even think she sees this situation as dropping a 'freind'#she's prolly gonna find a way to justify it somehow idk#point is im hurt and need a drink#she even vaguely texted me like 'if someone you knew hurt someone you care about would you try to fix it with them or just block them?'#like not even confront me and say 'you hurt someone i care about so now im ending things'#or just tell me to fuck off or call me a piece of shit#i feel after a year and all of the 'youre a good friend' shit that maybe i was at least entitled to a 'fuck off kys' text and then a block#i shouldve dropped her first - save us both some time#honestly i dont even think she thinks about this at all#im probably just sulking like a kicked dog while she does whatever the fuck it is she does#she probably didnt even care about my side of the story#why would she#honestly she always did most of the talking#i was just there to listen and sometimes make a joke for her to laugh at i guess#like i didnt know i was signing up for a '1 strike and youre out' type deal lmao
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
maybe this is just me being annoyed but whenever i try to talk abt my ocs here [which i very rarely do for this exact reason] it always gets zero engagement whatsoever. like i dont come here for Attention i come here for interaction which do kind of go hand in hand but. getting like 7 likes any time i pour my heart out about my guys is. disheartening. and it sucks because talking abt them is part of the way to get people to care! but i dont have the motivation for comics all the time [and when i do they dont get much attention either]. i feel like i should just stick to discord but im soo desprate to be heard and i feel like its hard to find The Right People to talk to
#especially when some of the people i wanna rant to dont use disc much. so i just yell into the void#this is abt sparks in particular but im miffed in general. with the response i get.#sky rambles#its just. frustrating. not mad at anyone in particular ofc !!!!!!#i need a friend who is online all the time who is always willing to hear me talk about stupid shit /SILLY#im actually Deranged about sparks rn i wish someone who Clicked With Autism was online on disc rn . so i could yap .#whatever.#sorry.#i just don't get what my guys don't have ????/ i guess probably constant art#i wish i could explain things concisely so people would care at all
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
The one thing we do well with my bf is talk shit about others, he's a gossipy bitch when you push him lol
#he will yell at you if you say anything about his mother#until he notices the behaviors on his own and then he will apologize#he's not 100% bad#he finally noticed how shitty paul treats his sister as well#and how he hides to drink#ive been telling him for ages but i guess he needed to see for himself
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
i turned in my paperwork to start selling pots in our art center's gallery shop, so now i gotta bust my ass again to get some more work churned out (which this is very cool, and i need to provide some mugs for a special instructor's "mug event" now). i went and looked around and there wasn't a terribly broad array of work? cups, bowls, mugs, some smaller serving dishes, mostly functional work. i'm thinking i'll do cups, mugs, some small bowls for ease, then i'm thinking some pumpkins (with or without a face or a lid idk), some little shroomies which are easy and cute, and then if i can get them right maybe some of those tumblers with the half lid for straws? maybe some wild clay slip...
but now bc i'm teaching more and i might have a little extra from this now, idk if i'll have the time to dedicate for illustration commissions like i had been hoping to do. im still gonna think about it, and at the very least might find a new online shop to offer prints that isn't redbubble. it's not a light decision to consider. :/
#pottery#stupid rant is stupid#teaching and the few pottery comms i have taken have helped me reach the savings goal i had for myself#and just living like i didnt get a life saving raise and putting so much of it away bc im paranoid#a lot quicker than i thought#which is great and im v thankful#but now i also feel bad about not being able to get the time to follow through on offering illus comms lmao#which i know is something i shouldnt feel bad about but i do and yes i need to go to therapy about that and a lot of other things#mmhhh#man almost losing your housing after years of living on the edge of losing a lot can really fuck you up cant it LOL#but anyways#life update#i guess#im also not expecting to be making a lot from the shop at all either#but its very cool#but the gallery DOES have an online shop#and they do have a shipping option#ill yell about it at some point lol#man if i wasnt in a tiny apartment and had room for a wheel#id have some of my logistics solved#one day lol
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
if ppl telling you "jewish ppl in israel were already kicked out of other countries and have no where else to go" makes you feel compelled to call whoever said that a "zionist", I really just dont think you give af about jewish ppl's lives quite frankly.
if your "free palestine" means "getting rid" of all jewish civilians in israel I think you're probably just a heartless asshole.
#two state solution ftw#or at least something along those lines#yelling at average jewish ppl who ARENT in israel is antisemitic#anti semitism- no matter how 'big of a deal' you think it is naturally makes jewish ppl feel unsafe by default#where do they go when theres nowhere else thats safe? you guessed it- probably to israel.#which is WHAT netanyahu wants. he wants scared controllable civilians to think hes the only one who can protect them#so you being anti semitic and not checking yourself on it or being 'whatever its nbd' about it is making everything so much worse#STOP BEING SO FUCKING APATHETIC FUCK ILL BEAT YOU UP TO MAKE YOU FEEL SOMETHING IF I HAVE TO#i dont feel like i can in good conscious reblog your 'free palestine' posts bc idk wtf the op thinks about jewish ppl being in#israel. and at this point i dont have faith in leftists to not notice the antisemitism in some of these ppl and call it out#its not something we can 'push aside and deal with and apologize for later' its ACTIVELY MAKING THE SITUATION WORSE AND NEEDS#TO BE ADDRESSED RIGHT THE FUCK NOW#maybe jewish ppl wouldnt be calling it 'self defense' if yall didnt keep being antisemitic and making them feel like they have to cling#to israel to stay tf alive. fuck.#OBVIOUSLY the response to what hamas did is disproportionate and affecting more people than israel says it intends to target#but thats the govt. and actual regular people are worried about their families. its disproportionate and probably being used as an excuse#to genocide palestinians but this wouldnt be happening if hamas didnt basically GIVE the israeli govt the excuse to do it.#free palestine. from hamas and from the israeli govt. and dont have genocidal intent toward jewish ppl.#thats all i want.#hamas' escalation did nothing but hurt everyone and make things worse especially for palestinians.
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
The first shower after a month long depressive episode is so good, man....... I feel Refreshed™
#every time i get into a slump I'm like 'I have no energy to shower :// guess it gets put off'#then i finally shower after embarrassingly long and i. like HUH this feels great. why didnt i do it sooner dkdbsksh#rain rambles#Today is officially about being gentle to my depression self. depressed Rain does not need to be yelled at. they need to be gently cared for#today I will care for myself like Fenn is caring for me.
12 notes
·
View notes